Kids! Cookies! Aggghhh!

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

Post Reply
Bennedicta
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:20 am
Location: Here, there and everywhere

Kids! Cookies! Aggghhh!

Post by Bennedicta » Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:32 am

I went to babysit my friends kids whilst she and her partner went to have her baby scan.

They came running out to greet me shouting..." We made cookies. They're for you! And we made them VEGAN, just for you!" The 5 year old explained how they had to get special chocolate chips as theirs had milk in them. And they took me proudly into the kitchen to show me them! And demanded I try them there and then.....

Now what?

Well there was no choice was there? I ate 2 and I have 4 more I have brought home with me. And very nice they were too.

No s or not, there is absolutely no way I could have NOT eaten those cookies.

So I suppose it's a red day.

Benni.

PS the scan was fine. But they asked not to know the sex.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Post by automatedeating » Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:57 am

This is definitely one of those impossible situations. If it makes you feel better, Reinhard says that is the cause of most of his fails.... Social pressure, especially from relatives. :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

osoniye
Posts: 1257
Joined: Sat May 22, 2010 2:19 pm
Location: Horn of Africa

Post by osoniye » Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:04 am

Wow, "me too". A gift from kids? Impossible.
I can't say how singularly difficult I find it, turning down food that was made especially for me. I think it is deep in my psyche, in that my mom would show love by making special food when I was growing up. I live in a culture, not my own now, which is very into hospitality and sharing food. The main reason I failed in Greysheeters Anonymous (used to be part of OA) was the strictness they insisted on with a sponsor, to eat only the foods on the list, committed in advance. I just couldn't turn down foods offered to me by people with the best of intentions, that were not allowed on that program. (The main staple here was off limits, ugh.) With NoS, it is much easier, in that a plate of whatever is fine, but there are often snacks served a few hours after a meal, or with coffee, and it's so hard to turn that down. I suppose if I had a life threatening allergy, I'd find a way, but just to stick to a program? No. I like about NoS that I can just declare a failure and it's really nobody's business, it's just between me and the bathroom scales.
-Sonya
No Sweets, No Snacks and No Seconds, Except (Sometimes) on days that start with "S".

eschano
Posts: 2642
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:20 pm

Post by eschano » Tue Feb 11, 2014 9:52 am

I'm a proponent for having some fails "that a worth it" but I think it's very dangerous to say that "you couldn't" because it's simply not true.

You could have easily explained and make it fun for the kids, take some home and then let them know after S days you loved them. Kids understand NoS much better than some adults do in my opinion.

Do I think you should haven eaten them? Absolutely, it's a worthy fail.

Do I think you had no choice? Nope, not one bit and be very careful when you use that kind of thinking.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again January 2021

finallyfull
Posts: 354
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:10 pm

Post by finallyfull » Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:50 pm

I agree with echano -- it's great to realize we are in charge and have choices, even if we choose to have the cookie.

I have had several "s events" in the past year because a child offered me something. I consider myself very lucky in this -- it's much bigger than food! But I don't always eat it. I have taken a bite or two, made a fuss, and secretly tossed the rest, or, if it was good, allowed myself a modest amount. Most importantly, I didn't let it turn into a WTH day.

I think it mostly boils down to how often it happens. If it's a few times a year, no big deal, but if kids are bringing you food weekly, it might be time for a strategy (like making a big fuss about how you plan to eat it for dessert that night).

Bennedicta
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:20 am
Location: Here, there and everywhere

Post by Bennedicta » Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:16 pm

That is a very interesting point. The difference between I CANNOT and I CHOOSE not.

I know another child with anaphylaxis. A single taste of her allergen and she can die. She CANNOT eat certain foods.


I Chose to eat the cookies and I would do so again. It has not happened before, and I can take steps to make sure it won't happen again ( a word to my friend ahead of time will do the trick. The kids are 3 and 5)

I am learning so much here. Thank you all.

User avatar
reinhard
Site Admin
Posts: 5918
Joined: Tue Apr 12, 2005 7:38 pm
Location: Cambridge, MA
Contact:

Post by reinhard » Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:30 pm

Bennedicta,

If it's any comfort, I probably would have made the same call (and have done in similar circumstances). As eschano wisely states, sometimes a red is worth taking. But in the 10+ years I've been doing this, I've found this happens, very, very rarely. The real danger is letting it become an excuse for a more general slide.

Practical tip: saying you'll "save it for the weekend" can sometimes get you out of such binds (you still show your appreciation for the gift, and hey, you have something nice to look forward to).

Reinhard

User avatar
DaveMc
Posts: 394
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:28 pm

Post by DaveMc » Wed Feb 12, 2014 1:52 am

Yeah, sometimes I think, "OK, for this I'll take the red" and just go ahead.

User avatar
Blithe Morning
Posts: 1220
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 10:56 pm
Location: South Dakota

Post by Blithe Morning » Wed Feb 12, 2014 4:09 pm

I would have done the same thing for all the reasons above. It's rare; No S keeps it from becoming a new habit; some fails are worth it; etc.

I mean, do we really expect to go through the rest of our lives never encountering an unexpected situation where we have a spontaneous, serendipitous, surprise S occasion? I should hope not. What a cold life indeed.

That said, they should be legitimately special, surprises. I'm not calling for a mod, just something to think about. Mark it and move on and don't let it become a habit.

Bennedicta
Posts: 40
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:20 am
Location: Here, there and everywhere

Post by Bennedicta » Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:28 pm

Thank you for the replies.

This truly is a friendly helpful place

The great thing for me was I kept it to 2 cookies. The other 4 are waiting for the weekend, when I shall share them with the family. I didn't then go on and do anything lease silly, just had my supper as usual and moved on.

Blithe Morning....thank you, what a great way of putting it. It would be a sad life indeed if we did not meet the odd unexpected S in our paths. However recognizing them as an S and dealing with them is maybe the key. This time I'll eat it...this time I'll decline....but the awareness is there.

jw
Posts: 844
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 7:27 pm
Location: PA

Post by jw » Wed Feb 12, 2014 5:39 pm

"The great thing for me was I kept it to 2 cookies. The other 4 are waiting for the weekend" -- that's the measure of success and moderation! Good for you!
"The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective." -- El Fug

Post Reply