I am desperate!!!!!!

freegirl · Post by **freegirl** » Thu Feb 13, 2014 11:14 pm

I am desperate to end this emotional and weight roller-coaster!

But, from the posts of successful No S-ers, It looks to me that the only path to success is to follow vanilla No S from the beginning. That did not work for me. I tried it several times, was successful for a month or so, and than failed BIG time.

Has anyone become successful No S-er gradually, something like learning to ride a bike?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:50 am

Hi freegirl, I can't really answer your question, but I am sorry you're so frustrated with your non-compliance.

I do have one suggestion: really sit down and analyze, as precisely as possible, WHY you failed big time repeatedly after one month of NoS. Some possibilities (although only you can truly learn this about yourself):
*Were you too strict on N Days?
*Were you too strict on S Days?
*Were you frustrated by slow progress?
*Did you hate yourself for your failures and sort of... self-sabotage?
*Do you have a hard time with the moderateness of NoS (do you prefer extremes in life)?
*Do you have very little weight to lose and are just having trouble with your relationship to food (rather than having a weight problem)?
*Was your schedule hectic and made it difficult to find a routine?

I'm sure there are many more possible reasons that you failed. But until you understand a little more about why you failed, it will be hard for you to design a system of moderation that will work well for you.

Good luck! We're all here for you, that's what is so special about this forum.

Blithe Morning · Post by **Blithe Morning** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 3:25 am

Has anyone become successful No S-er gradually, something like learning to ride a bike?

Me! I haven't been perfectly compliant from Day 1. Far from it. But 6 years on, I'm six years older than when I'm started, 6 years further along in living a No S lifestyle.

Unlike most diets, failure is not a big deal. You will fail. I mean, this is the way you are going to eat, barring some major medical condition, for the rest of your life. Are you really going to be perfectly compliant for 30, 40, 50 years? I don't think so.

Failure - or non-compliance if the word failure makes you want to give up - should be increasingly rare and increasingly a result of a specific circumstance or situation rather than defaulting back to bad habits.

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 5:44 am

Hi freegirl,
I would second automatedeating's good ideas there. Another possible reason is social pressure (the big one for me, outside of the craving for chocolate). Is it hard for you to be the odd man out at social occasions on N days?

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:44 am

Can I do a "some-S" diet?

You can do whatever you want, I'm not going to excommunicate you, but this isn't a good idea. No-S isn't that hard. Try doing it strictly for 3 weeks, that's about how long it takes to form a habit. You'll be surprised.

That being said, the esses don't depend on each other. Each makes sense on its own, and each should be helpful on its own. Do what's possible and necessary for you. Dieting in a "half-essed" manner, as a group member put it here and here, can have wholly satisfying results -- as long as you're clear about which half (or third) and are no less diligent in sticking to it.

I've often thought that gradually progressing one S at a time might be a good way to become a full no-esser, say start with no sweets for a week, then add no seconds the next week, then no snacks on week 3 (or go even slower and give each the full magic habit-building three weeks). That way you could build willpower and habit even more incrementally. Unfortunately I'm not aware that anyone has successfully done this [ update: it seems like someone has (and rather successfully!) ] . I think the trouble is that even full no-s is slow in terms of yielding measurable results, and lack of patience is an even bigger problem for most people than lack of short term willpower.

And this is the quote of the link it goes to from burghermeisster:

Since I have a significant amount of weight to lose (100lbs) and since my eating was completely out of control, starting straight vanilla No S was a scary prospect. My mod is essentially the gradual integration of the forbidden "esses" one by one, for 21 days each, until total compliance.

The first habit I developed was no eating - none at all - after 8PM. This is sort of a time-limited No Snacking mod for 21 days. Next, I focused on eliminating all snacks throughout the day...I was still eating some seconds/sweets, but just at three discrete meal times. Again, 21 days.

Once I was practicing "no snacks" regularly, I moved on to adding "no sweets". This was relatively painless as I found I could wait for my S days for these sweet treats, but I did this 21 days until I moved on to....

"No Seconds"...by the time I was at this point, I had learned felt much more in control of my cravings, my eating in general. I was generally more mindful about a lot of things. So.... No Seconds has come pretty easily and I am just at 21 days of total No S!

I LOST 34 POUNDS since that first evening with no snacks!!!! Though I've only been doing COMPLETE NO S for 3 weeks, I have been modifying my behavior and developing good habits for just 12 weeks. I haven't tried much in terms of exercise, just walking for a bit after dinner, but that will be next.

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6287

So as a suggestion: why don't you tackle your biggest S offender first for a couple of months and leave the others alone and then gradually phase them in? That means you will have to give up the idea that you might lose much weight in that time but the habit will get firm and then you will lose more as you phase the others in?

Also: Make sure to plan yummy, full plates of food for N days so you're less tempted to fail.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 1:37 pm

Eschano, thanks for digging up those posts by Reinhard and burgghermeisster. I think your post could be useful by many people on this forum.

freegirl · Post by **freegirl** » Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:15 pm

Thank you everybody for your comments and suggestions! I like the phased approach, so I'll try that. When I think of I, I already made some positive changes in my eating one habit at the time.

And I will not focus on weight loss this time.

freegirl · Post by **freegirl** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 12:57 am

I'll work on these habits first:

- no snacks between breakfast and lunch, and after dinner
- sweets once a day
- exercise 5 times a week

I'll weigh myself once a month only. And I'll be VERY gentle with myself. Like I would be with a friend who suffered a lot with food, weight and self-esteem issues.

herbsgirl · Post by **herbsgirl** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:34 am

Free girl I tried vanilla no s and it just didn't work for me but I came back and was able to lose all my weight over 68 lbs in 18 weeks with No S 3 meals a day principle, S days and I added in a few mods that worked fabulous for me --I counted my bites and I allowed myself to have sweets on N days as long as it was within my bites and 3 meals

germanherman · Post by **germanherman** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:23 am

It took a while before NoS really "catched" me.

Some of the things that helped a lot:

1. Trinity: Don't just NoS but combine it with shovelglove and urban ranger. Or use any other kind of exercise. Exercise helps in so many different ways, not only by "working that fat of", but regulating your appetite, distract you from eating etc.

2. The most important thing for me was:
I wanted to use NoS to change the "when" and the "how much" of my eating habbits. But it helped me in a way i didn't expected:

When i started my last (and still lasting) try of NoS i was a very big guy (280 lbs) with an gigantic appetite. I could eat all day.

So my inner fatman panicked when i tried to force myself to accept 3 meals a day on most days.

The only way to trick myself was to change the way of eating itself.

So not only did i change my "when" and "how much" but also my "how".

The secret/ the change: Chewing!

It is an old trick my grandfather learned in his time as an P.O.W. in WW II. To survive on very little food the prisoners started to chew every bite as long as possible. They developed the habbit of counting every chewing and tried to beat the count on the next bite. And so on. It served two goals: Get the most nutrition out of anything and be "full" with a lot less.

I chew every bite till it ain't chewable anymore. I eat very slow, and savor every bite, really enjoy the taste. I only swallow when the food is totally liquified, when nearly no taste is left.

This way of eating becomes a habbit very fast (took me around 3-4 weeks) and today i can't eat "fast" anymore. Sometimes i can't even finish my plate.

This way of eating my sound harsh or strange regarding its origins, but it made me enjoy my meals so much more, it is brilliant.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:27 am

Hi Germanherman,

That's great advice for anyone here. I haven't properly incorporated exercise yet and definitely don't chew properly. Will start on exercise on Sunday and start chewing today

herbsgirl · Post by **herbsgirl** » Wed Feb 19, 2014 3:19 pm

I use the Eating Slowly concept and it works well for me. Chewing can also be incorporated into that.

If you only do No S and eating a minute per bite, its almost a guarantee that you WILL lose wieght! I eat each bite about a minute apart, It really works for feeling satisfied, losing wieght, ect!

Read my blog post here http://countyourbites.blogspot.com/2013 ... h-big.html

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Feb 20, 2014 9:22 am

I would say I'm one of the more gradual No Sers. I've fallen off of the wagon a number of times over the past 5 years, but I am convinced that this WOE makes the most sense. I have the No Snacking down pretty well, and I have the No Seconds down pretty well, but it is the No Sweets that I'm still struggling with. It is my goal to conquer the No Sweets in 2014, because I have had ongoing joint pain and inflammation, and I am convinced that excess sugar is a part of the problem.

Jethro · Post by **Jethro** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 11:31 am

herbsgirl wrote:I use the Eating Slowly concept and it works well for me. Chewing can also be incorporated into that.

If you only do No S and eating a minute per bite, its almost a guarantee that you WILL lose wieght! I eat each bite about a minute apart, It really works for feeling satisfied, losing wieght, ect!

Read my blog post here http://countyourbites.blogspot.com/2013 ... h-big.html

I've started counting bites 2 days ago and already lost 2 lb. I don't expect to lose a pound per day but a pound per week will take me to the promised land in three months.

your combination of eating slowly and counting bites is brilliant! One advantage I see is that by slowing down, the table folks will finish eating before you, thus, no seconds' temptation. There may not even be any seconds left!

herbsgirl · Post by **herbsgirl** » Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:33 pm

Jethro wrote:
herbsgirl wrote:I use the Eating Slowly concept and it works well for me. Chewing can also be incorporated into that.

If you only do No S and eating a minute per bite, its almost a guarantee that you WILL lose wieght! I eat each bite about a minute apart, It really works for feeling satisfied, losing wieght, ect!

Read my blog post here http://countyourbites.blogspot.com/2013 ... h-big.html
I've started counting bites 2 days ago and already lost 2 lb. I don't expect to lose a pound per day but a pound per week will take me to the promised land in three months.

your combination of eating slowly and counting bites is brilliant! One advantage I see is that by slowing down, the table folks will finish eating before you, thus, no seconds' temptation. There may not even be any seconds left!

Great, Jethro! I also find this to be true... sometimes I take longer to eat than my family and they ate way more food!

Everyday Systems

I am desperate!!!!!!

I am desperate!!!!!!

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