Struggling ....

Mustloseweight · Post by **Mustloseweight** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:17 pm

Really frustrated with myself. I was spot on with eating yesterday, but today got assaulted by my daughters chocolate snack biscuits. I don't get why because it is genuinely the simplest plan out there. Fed up.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:21 am

I don't mean to oversimplify, but what helps me is just not leaving a window open for any option of snacking. It simply is not allowed, so I don't dwell on indulging any passing urges. And the urges do pass, especially with practice and repeated success over time.

Hang in there!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:26 am

Sometimes limiting access, especially in the beginning is important. Maybe having your daughter keep her snacks in a different place for a while would help. Or more radically, help her to avoid sweets on weekdays too, by having fruit for her during the week-? (I don't know her age, level of autonomy, etc.)
There's also the issue of mental preparedness.. willingness to say "Not my food" when you see someone else's sweets during the week, or see someone enjoying their sweets. They're just not for you. It may help to have a card or something handy with a list of WHY you're doing NoS in the first place, to pull out and look at to fortify your resolve.
Hang in there, and don't give up. Habits are hard to build at first, but if/when they become solid, it takes so much less energy to just do them, than not.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:47 am

No matter how simple any plan is, the truth is that we have developed HABITS of eating that are not going to just go away because we make a decision when there is no urge to eat. Food is naturally reinforcing and our brains are not going to forego those fleeting pleasures without a bit of a fight. We have to recognize that the urge IS going to come and we have to say NO in that moment, no matter how easy it would be to say yes.

I remember when I first started, when I would bypass food in a situation in which I would normally just give in, I felt almost as if I was in an episode of The Twilight Zone, if you know what that is. It was like a new reality! I sometimes even felt I was not myself. It won't likely feel comfortable and certainly not familiar, but it is doable. And it will become the norm after a year or so and many times on the way. Totally worth the journey!

noni · Post by **noni** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 12:12 pm

My first round with No S was a real learning curve (it still is). I had the same problem with my daughter who lives nearby. She would bring her treasured creations for me to sample during the week. Between seeing her disappointment that I wouldn't taste her goodies or my husband's statement, "we can't go out to eat on a Friday night?" helped me fall off the wagon. Now what I do is take one bite of my daughter's dessert or whatever and give an opinion or take some home with me when she wants to share and freeze it for later. But be careful about stock-piling sweets in the freezer to save for S-days. Another weakness of mine.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Wed Mar 19, 2014 2:34 pm

oolala53 wrote:No matter how simple any plan is, the truth is that
we have developed HABITS of eating that are not going to just go away
just because we make a decision when there is no urge to eat.

Food is naturally reinforcing
and our brains are not going to forego those fleeting pleasures without a bit of a fight.

We have to recognize that the urge IS going to come and we have to say NO in that moment,
no matter how easy it would be to say yes.

So Very True

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:25 am

MustLoseWeight wrote:Really frustrated with myself. I was spot on with eating yesterday, but today got assaulted by my daughters chocolate snack biscuits. I don't get why because it is genuinely the simplest plan out there. Fed up.

It is simple, but that doesn't mean it is easy. Often those two things get mixed up. It is hard to give up the habits of a lifetime, but it does get easier as it goes along. That's where I think No-S is unique among the approaches I've tried - it gets easier, not harder.

Just a small idea about self talk - you say you "got assaulted" by sweets. I used to talk about "being ambushed" by treats (e.g. at work meetings). But then I realised the words I used echoed the way I felt: helpless! There is a great sticky thread on here about No-S quotes and sayings: maybe pick a couple that resonate with you to repeat in your head when temptation strikes, to remind you that you do have the power and the choice here.

Good luck!

biggirllosesweight · Post by **biggirllosesweight** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 3:56 pm

I'm with you, mustloseweight. This week for some reason has been so hard. Ever since I started this program in January, I've followed the rules during the week and the only problem I had was over the top s days. However, this week has been so hard!
First, I was in the grocery store and I was starving b/c I missed lunch and so I snacked on samples that were being handed out. Since starting this diet, I usually walk right past them. Not this week. Errrgg.
Then, I was watching food network, which I should never do, and I got the urge to cook a big fancy dinner and make home made desert. So, it was like an alien took hold of my brain and I made this huge dinner for my husband and I. I also made desert. Wow... this is the first week, where I'm just so frustrated. I almost feel like quitting.!! I know I won't though. I just need to get my will power back.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Mar 20, 2014 9:51 pm

Don't quit biggirllosesweight! Some weeks or even couple of weeks are hard, some days are unbearable, and sometimes we fail. A lot. But NoS is a way of life and you're in it for the long run. Most weeks are easy, most days are bearable and sometimes we have a green run.

Stick to your gun so that you don't have to do what I read so very often on here: come back in 5 years saying that if only you had stuck to NoS you would now be a healthy weight.

I know you can do it because I read your thread. You're awesome and you'll have a green day tomorrow or a green week next week. Be kind to yourself and don't punish yourself! I recommend the podcast on strictness.

biggirllosesweight · Post by **biggirllosesweight** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:53 am

Thanks, Eschano for the encouragement. That's really nice of you. Yeah, I'm going to go right back to vanilla no s this Sunday, like I usually do. I think what got me discouraged was that I didn't lose weight last week for the 3rd week in a row. I was so tired of it all. I thought, "What's the use?"
"I may as well just eat what I want and cook a huge meal for my husband and I"
I think another thing is that I was watching the food network which is a big no no for me and I saw Ina Garten making a delicious beef brisket and mashed potatoes and home made bread. Then I saw strawberry short cake. So, I just went for it and made everything. Part of it was also all the stupid ads for St. Patrick's day. You know corned beef, mashed potatoes and cabbage and stuff. Oh, and don't forget "Down Home with the Neelys". That show always makes me hungry. Especially when they made bourbon sweet potatoes.
So, I just went crazy and the weird thing is, I hate to cook and usually never do! Over all I had a disastrous week, but, hey my husband really liked it a lot better than salad!! At least he was happy Ps. also went over the glass ceiling too and I never drink wine b/c I don't even like it, but for some reason I had like 4 glasses!!!!!!! I just listened to the strictness podcast!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 9:35 am

Hiya,

Delighted you're going back to vanilla NoS! I know how frustrating plateau's are. I had three plateaus on NoS and the worst was over 5 months of not losing any weight. However, maintaining is a lot better than gaining and my default before NoS was to gain slowly but steadily over the years. And I'm happy to report that after the plateau and without any apparent reason, I suddenly dropped 3 kilos within a very short amount of time and then continued losing about 0.5kg per month as I was already so close to my normal BMI. Sometimes you have to give your body time to adjust.

As for the glassceiling: I think it's a great system but personally, I'm not applying it. It's not necessary on NoS. However, I barely ever have more than 2 drinks anyways. Most maybe 3 glasses of wine unless I go to a party when all bets are off. If you like to add it - good for you! you'll reach your goals even faster

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:54 am

biggirllosesweight wrote:I saw Ina Garten making a delicious beef brisket and mashed potatoes and home made bread.

Just wanted to mention that this dinner is absolutely No-S compatible. No reason you couldn't cook and eat this on an N day. You would just need to take a serving that fit on one plate.

Then I saw strawberry short cake.

And then make this one on Saturday or Sunday.

but, hey my husband really liked it a lot better than salad!!

One thing that really helps my N-day compliance is really enjoying my meals. Don't feel that because it is an N day you must eat salads for meals. If you want to eat a salad and you enjoy them, then absolutely go for it, but you don't have to.

Have a great weekend and best of luck in the coming week!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:00 pm

I want to echo what ironchef said: the meal you saw on the Food Network sounds like a perfect N Day dinner. I had corned beef, cabbage and potatoes for dinner last night and loved every bite. Absolutely guilt-free; indeed, I felt like it was a healthy meal for me!

And just like ironchef said, strawberry shortcake is a fantastic planned S day treat!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:17 pm

I hope I can be supportive in saying this but it is really way too early to allow yourself to get so frustrated with yourself because everything isn't sailing along easily. (Actually, that is another habit. It goes along with the overeating and is part of the cycle. That's why reducing it also helps dismantle the cycle and weaken it.) That is just not the way it works for most people. You will have "honeymoon" weeks or even months and then it will get rocky, most likely. Then you can negotiate that. When you do, it will reinforce the positive habit, just like relationship bonds grow stronger when people get through difficulties and recommit. Successful weight loser/maintainers take 2-5 years to get to the point at which there is only a 25% chance of completely relapsing. This may be hard to face, but it is really good news. Failures along the way are not permanent unless we give up because of them. There is a difference between backing off ourselves and giving up. If you are convinced that this is a fair way to moderate your eating, it will be very worth it not to panic and get waylaid. If you think something else is fairer and will sustain you for decades to come, go for it. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are right on track.

MerryKat · Post by **MerryKat** » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:19 am

I agree 100% with Oolala53 the biggest thing with No S is the changing of the habit.

Habits are incredibly strong and rear their heads at the strangest and most unexpected times.

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

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