I was emailed the following last month. It was intended as a private communication, and so is a little raw, but I got such a kick out of it that I'm posting it here (with permission) anonymized but otherwise unaltered. If you're turned off by "colorful language," you might wish to stop reading here, otherwise, enjoy.
Reinhard,
I wanted to share a few thoughts on the Glass ceiling.
I've implemented this for several months. Like you, I had a problem with occasional excessive drinking. I didn't drink to excess often (at least not as I've gotten older - the foregoing does not apply to my 18-22 year old Marine Corps days), and could go months without drinking at all. I was not incapable of "social" drinking, but would let it get out of control every once in a while. Friday happy hour could be two beers and on the train home at a reasonable time. Or it could be twelve or more beers and/or god knows what and taking an $80+ cab ride home at 0300 (at least I had the sense to do that). And you never knew what to expect when it happened - I could be the life of the party or the biggest asshole you ever met. In fact, most of the adversity I've dealt with in life was self-created and can be tied directly to those out-of-control drunken binges. A true architect of my own misfortune.
Fortunately, none of these incidents irreparably harmed my relationships or employment, but they came pretty damn close. At one time I deluded myself that it was tied to drinking hard alcohol, despite the fact that I'd disproved that with beer or wine any number of times. You'd think a self-imposed drink limit would be painfully obvious, but I never limited it enough. Upon reflection, the third drink seems to be a turning point for me where I can cut it off or plunge into the abyss, and leaves too much to chance. Two is the magic number.
In addition to the benefits you described, all of which I concur with, I add the following:
1. You're probably okay to drive if you have to. Yes, I know it's never a good idea to drink and drive, and I don't want the MADD legions coming after me. I'm just saying that life happens, and if you are in a position where you have to drive, you should be okay with two drinks. Individual tolerances and bodyweight factored in, of course.
2. No more Whiskey Dick. Requires no explanation I assume.
3. Watching other people get shitfaced and act like idiots is actually quite fun. I once hated to be the sober guy among drunks, but I find that the low-grade two-drink buzz provides the perfect lens for schadenfreude-y voyeurism.
I'm sure I can come up with more, but these are a few that have occurred to me.
As a final note, I enjoy all of your writings in both form and substance. Systematic moderation is the new excess. Well, maybe not, but some of us do get it. Keep it coming.
Best regards,
Anonymous
And in a follow up email:
Another benefit that neither you nor I discussed, probably because it's so obvious, is not suffering from hangovers. As I've gotten older, they have become brutal and leave me virtually incapacitated for the entire next day. Not an acceptable state of affairs for a dad with two young boys who are raring to go on Saturday morning.
