Operababe Checking In

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 3:12 pm

June 4, 2006

Ate breakfast, lunch and dinner. No snacks even though a Sunday. My son's birthday was during the week, so I resolved to not snack or have sweets on the weekend.

June 5, 2006

Just had breakfast, and other than some work to do, I'd like to go for an hour long walk today. I haven't done much exercise in the past couple of months. Well, that's going to change! I've looked at the sledgehammer discussions, I'm not so sure that a sledgehammer is what I need. I have a rebounder, and I will set it up this week and start using it at least 3 days/week. I figure if I put some kick-ass music on and jog on the rebounder for at least 10 minutes, that should be a great start to getting in shape. Eventually I plan on building up to 30 minutes, 4-5 days per week.

Hunter Gatherer · Post by **Hunter Gatherer** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:04 am

A good site for exercise is stumptuous, which is how I found this site in the first place. There's an article there that I'm partial to, because it adresses exercise for overweight people as opposed to already fit and trim people.

She also has neat recipes and a series of articles on back pain management. Unfortunately the organization is not so good and I'm always going "Now where WAS article X?" Which is why I went link crazy. Makes things easier for you to look stuff up without going. "Well HG said it was on the site, but where?"

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 4:24 am

Wow! Thanks for the site information. I will be returning.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 3:39 am

Thanks HG for the site tip. It's true, for a large person like myself (I have 100 lbs to lose), I can't just pop into the local pilates class and work my "core". My "core" is what gets in the way at the moment!

June 6, 2006

Ate a healthy breakfast with scrambled eggs, a beef stir fry with lots of veggies for lunch, and supper was grilled talapia (a yummy fish) with a lot of salad and a small portion of millet. Feeling extremely virtuous I must say! Also felt a bit hungry tonight, so had a cup of "fake" cereal grain coffee with soy milk. Maybe it's cheating, but it sure hits the spot. As suggested by fellow No S'ers I'll start having a 1/2 glass of orange juice with 1 teaspoon of fish oil tonight before bed. Maybe I'll be able to sleep through the night. Also went for a half hour walk today, and did a 45 minute walk yesterday. While the weather is decent I'll be an urban ranger.

doulachic · Post by **doulachic** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 4:06 am

hey operababe,
I have some talapia in my freezer right now, and i have no idea how to cook it as i don't normally cook fish...any suggestions on how to cook it and what to season it with? I'd be gratefull!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:23 am

You are making it beautiful, Operababe! Keep up the good work.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:23 pm

Hi Doulachic,
I buy the talapia from Costco (Sam's, Price Club), and keep it frozen. It's wrapped individually, so I just unwrap two or three for each person (depends on how hungry people are) and pop them into a frying pan with a bit of olive oil on medium-high heat. (play with the heat level, fish should not "simmer" but cook quickly, however not so quickly that it dries out) I cover it for a minute or so, until the fish starts to soften, then I season with sea salt and pepper. Leave the cover off and check it after about 3-4 minutes, then flip over and season the other side with the sea salt and pepper. It should be done in another 3-4 minutes. Go with the general rule of 20 minutes per inch of thickness. The talapia I have is less than a half inch of thickness, so I estimate about 6-8 minutes, give or take. I like it simple, and it's easy too! Let me know if you try it this way, or if you come across a way to bake the talapia I'd love to hear from you!

Pangelsue, you are one sweet gem! Thank you for your message of support and encouragement!

June 7, 2006
I had a very good day overall, although I'm close to that TOM, and I was craving chocolate all day. So I bought a small bar of dark chocolate, and I ate 2 small pieces of it after dinner. It was a real treat, and, to my amazement, it was all I needed. I know it's a sweet, so yes, technically I cheated, but the remaining 3 pieces are sitting in my fridge and I don't plan on touching them until the weekend. In other words, victory is mine!!!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 10:44 pm

Hi Operababe!
I can't remember if I welcomed you yet, so welcome!!!
TOM seems to make us all crave that chocolate eh??? LOL..
Great to hear you only took as much as you needed to satisfy your craving!
That takes a lot of control!

Good for you and keep it up... I started here with about 60-70 lbs to lose, and I am nearly halfway.. Yoga has only helped me, and I had a very large baby and my tummy is wayyyyy Buddhafied... There's even a pic of me and my Yoga instructor, many pages back on my thread, with my belly hanging out... It's soooo much better than pre Yoga though...
Pilates and or Yoga could help you, not make you bigger...
I thought I'd pipe up in favor of it, but of course it's up to you..
Walking is great too!!!

Peace and Love,

Deb

Hunter Gatherer · Post by **Hunter Gatherer** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 3:58 pm

So, is the fish oil helping you make it through the night?

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 7:37 pm

Hi Deb, Yes, you have welcomed me, and your support is the best! Thanks for the encouraging words, and not to worry about Pilates, I have the Windsor Pilates DVDs and have managed to do it a few times. I just need to get a wee bit smaller in the middle so that I can do the core moves with any effectiveness. But I agree 100% that yoga, pilates, tai chi, etc. are excellent ways to exercise the body, get lean, and get more flexibility. And congrats on your weight loss! You know that you'll never see those pounds again, can't wait to hear from you when you've reached 100% of weight loss!

Hi there HG, you've made me realize the song I should be singing to my fish oil: "Help me make it through the night!"
But here's the scoop: The 2 nights I remembered to have the fish oil, I slept right through. Last night I forgot, and I woke at 3 am and took the oil then, and finally around 4:30 am I fell asleep. A little groggy when I woke up at 7:30 am. It seems that the fish oil is the way for me to go.

June 9, 2006
I'm amazed at how easy this all is: I just focus on having 3 healthy meals, that's all. I've decided to weigh myself once/month, but I bet I've lost a few lbs because my pants are all feeling a little loose. Yay!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 5:06 pm

June 11, 2006

Yesterday I went to a friend's for a casual dinner party/drink lots of wine/have lots of fun kind of evening. I mostly ate salad (there were 2 kinds: spinach and a shrimp salad with papaya, mango and kiwi... really good!) and a modest portion of chicken curry with brown rice, probably about 1/3 of my plate. I did go for seconds, but I only ate the salad. There were potatoes in the curry that I avoided, left them on the plate. And the dessert, I didn't touch the chocolate icing and the filling, just ate the cake part, so it was about 1/3 of the dessert left on my plate. This is all new and exciting for me: I'm leaving food on my plate! I drank 2 large glasses of wine and another 2 big glasses of water. Since it was a Saturday, I figured I was allowed the alcohol.

Also, went into a clothing store earlier to try on some jackets. I was trying on size 20s, and only a month ago I was wearing size 22/24, so something wonderful is happening to me.... my pants are definitely looser. Hurray No S!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jun 13, 2006 3:02 am

June 12, 2006
Beautiful day and got my 2 Jack Russells out for a full 45 minute walk through the trails near my "old" house (my husband and I have separated and I moved to an apartment, he's still in the house).

Breakfast was 2 boiled eggs and 1 slice toast, 2 cups tea with milk, and one orange. Lunch was a large salad with tuna and balsamic dressing (yum) and 4 Ry Krisp crackers. Supper was a veggie burger with pickles, tomatoes, lettuce, onions and mayo. Drank 1.5 litres (6 glasses) of water. It was a great day food wise, I think. And not too shabby exercise-wise too!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:24 am

You are just an inspiration! I get motivated just reading your posts. You really sound at peace with yourself. I am still working on getting to that particular goal. I think I fight my head more than the food but I will win that battle too. Keep on lovin' your life. It's the only one you got and it sounds like you are really working on making the best choices for you. I'll have to tell my daughter about the fish oil thing. She has a lot of issues with sleep. Maybe that will work for her.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:18 pm

Thanks Pangelsue for your encouraging thoughts, I've posted on your daily check-in.

Friday, June 16, 2006
It's been a busy 3 days since my last check-in, but I'm happy to report that I continue to stick with 3 healthy meals per day. I did indulge in a bottle of beer at lunch yesterday while watching one of the world cup soccer games. (As a woman, I do enjoy watching those very fit men with their flowing locks!) But, at that same lunch, I only managed to eat 1/2 of my sandwich (it was a grilled chicken in a pita with avocado, lettuce and tomatoes), and I left it on my plate untouched! Well, one of my friends who has a very healthy metabolism ate it for me. (You know the kind, it's always that hopeful look combined with "you going to finish that?", and then happily dig in if you give the thumbs up!) My voice teacher said to me yesterday that my face was getting thinner and what was I doing? I told her about No S, and she thought it was brilliant.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jun 19, 2006 4:26 pm

Monday, June 19, 2006

Even on the weekend, the "S" days, I am not snacking, and I'm also getting into the habit of no seconds. I did indulge in a bit of frozen yogurt on Saturday evening, and some dark chocolate (just 1/8 of the large bar) on Sunday evening. But that's it.

This morning I made pancakes with ground flaxseeds, and very little maple syrup (the real stuff). I only ate 3/4 of my one pancake. Also had a cup of fresh blueberries, and 1/2 glass of orange juice, and 1 cup of tea with milk. For lunch I am planning a large salad with grilled chicken and poppy seed dressing. And for dinner: probably more salad, buckwheat and some fish (haven't had fish in awhile).

It's very hot and humid here in Toronto, all this sweating must be helping me to drop a bit more weight!
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operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jun 20, 2006 2:20 pm

I looooooooove No S!!!! I don't snack anymore! I don't snack anymore! I don't snack anymore! How exciting is that? Well, I had to exclaim it 3 times because this is the hugest biggest deal for me!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Breakfast was oatmeal and milk, a cup of tea with milk, plus a cup of blueberries (delicious on the oatmeal). Lunch will be salad and tuna and poppy seed dressing; and dinner will probably be another big salad with boiled egg and shredded mozzarella cheese and the poppy seed dressing. I'm on a poppy seed kick at the moment! I also have some gorgeous fresh strawberries, and I plan on having those with supper. I love the summer berries!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:41 pm

Breakfast: Special K Vanilla Almond cereal with soy milk, 1/2 glass orange juice, 1 cup tea with milk.

Lunch: Chicken salad on a toasted multi-grain bagel, 1 cup fresh strawberries

Supper: The plan is to have a big salad with a veggie burger patty (no bun) and buckwheat (made a batch yesterday and I need to use it up).

Have already walked 30 minutes.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:22 am

I have been busy putting in extra hours at work, plus family committments, so I've missed a few days. But Thursday and Friday were both good days No S wise. Although I did have a cup of ice cream on Wednesday evening, sooooooo, I tried to make one of my S days dessert-free, which is hard because I love desserts, especially ice cream in the summer. Yesterday, I had more ice cream (about 1 cup) with a lot of fresh organic raspberries (about 2 cups). Oh, it was gooooood! And today, I ate a chocolate croissant at breakfast, so I didn't completely have a dessert-free S day, but I think I did pretty well. In fact, I don't feel one shred of guilt or worry! Hurray for No S! Hurray for me on No S! Hurray! Hurray!

And tomorrow, another 5 days of No S begin. I say, bring 'em on!!!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:25 am

You're doing awesome!!!!
Peace and Love,

Deb

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 12:44 am

Deb, you are simply the best! (with Tina Turner soulfully serenading in the background) I really appreciate your positive enthusiasm, and it's great to see your full support for me and for everyone else here.

Monday, June 26, 2006
Breakfast: 1 whole grain toast with cream cheese and jam, 2 fried eggs, tea with milk.
Lunch: One instant chicken noodle soup, 1 orange, about 6 oz. cheddar cheese. (not the best lunch, but not the worst either!)
Supper: Stir fry with chicken, green beans, carrots and buckwheat (I love buckwheat!)
Water: 4 glasses (1 litre) so far, I plan on drinking at least 2 more glasses tonight while I veg in front of the TV

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 4:18 am

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Breakfast: 1 whole grain toast with cream cheese and jam, tea with milk, 1 peach
Lunch: California roll (6 pieces), miso soup, 1 small cheeseburger with ketchup and mustard (McDonald's kids menu)
Supper: Grilled chicken sub (small 6 inch size) with honey mustard, lettuce & tomatoes, salad with Italian dressing, vanilla yogurt and strawberries. (The yogurt was low fat and it fit on my plate!)

I did a fair amount of walking today, and I felt much hungrier at lunch and dinner. However I didn't eat very much at breakfast, and that may be the reason why my hunger was strong later on.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 4:40 am

You rock, woman!! Your enthusiasum is catching. Keep it up and we will all be awesomely inspired.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 1:15 pm

Ahhhh Sue! You deserve to be in the positive support hall of fame for your wonderful thoughts and encouragement!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:13 pm

I agree!!!
About *both* of you great ladies!
Rock on!!!!

Love,

Deb

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:49 am

Deb, you and Sue are standing side-by-side as you are inducted into the positive support Hall of Fame!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Breakfast: Special K Vanilla Almond cereal with soy milk, tea with milk.

Lunch: 1/2 bagel with tuna salad and melted cheese, 1 bran muffin (medium size)

Dinner: 2 slices rye bread with hummus and sliced tomatoes, 1 large bowl blueberries, 1 large apple (peeled), 2 cups cereal grain coffee with almond milk

Water: 6 glasses (1.5 litres)
Walking: 40 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:01 am

Friday, June 30, 2006

Breakfast: oatmeal with 2 cups fresh blueberries and milk, tea with milk

Lunch: 1 slice rye bread with hummus, 1 banana

Dinner: salad with sunflower seeds and poppy seed dressing, 6 oz. cheese, 1 apple, 1 cup cereal grain coffee with soy milk

Water: 6 glasses (1.5 litres)
Walking: 40 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Jul 02, 2006 10:19 pm

So excited to have made it to the 2nd page!

Saturday, July 1, 2006

Breakfast: 1 bowl Special K Vanilla Almond with milk, tea with milk

Lunch: Salad, Smoked salmon quiche, blueberries with vanilla almond yogurt

Dinner: BBQ'd Chicken, spaghetti with pesto sauce, green beans and roasted red pepper, 1 beer (Corona), tea with milk

Water: 6 glasses

Sunday, July 2, 2006

Breakfast: 1 poached egg with Canadian peameal bacon (Go Canada Go!), 1/2 English muffin, 1 orange, 2 cups tea with milk

Lunch: Chicken salad sandwich, salad with balsamic dressing, 1/2 piece chocolate cake with whipped cream, iced tea

Dinner: Salad, baked potatoe with butter, steak, blueberries with vanilla yogurt.

Water: 7 glasses
Walking: 30 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:39 pm

Monday, July 3, 2006:

Breakfast: 2 crepes with canned peaches, 1 glass orange juice, tea with milk

Lunch: 1 slice rye bread with hummus dip

Supper: 2 slices pizza, 1 salad, 4 pieces of fried calamari with sauce, 1 piece bruschetta, 1 small piece tira mi su.
At a nice Italian restaurant with my kids, and they were getting dessert, and well, I chimed in. I guess because it's the long weekend, I was trying to justify the dessert. But nope, I had Saturday and Sunday as S days. Monday should be No S.
Oh well, trying to drink lots of water and fuggedaboudid!

Water: 6 glasses
Walking: 20 minutes

Francois Tremblay · Post by **Francois Tremblay** » Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:49 pm

See, I was wise. I made my S-days Monday and Tuesday.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:03 am

Don't worry about it Babe

You are doing great!!!!!

I had a big slurpee today, with no justification except that it was very hot and I did a lot of moving and rearranging/building furniture at home today..

Well great job again Babe!
I'm very happy for you

Peace and Love,

Deb

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 5:00 am

Thanks Deb! I appreciate the positive attitude.

Tuesday, July 4, 2006

Happy 4th of July to all the Americanos out there!

Breakfast: Fresh blueberries with vanilla yogurt and sunflower seeds, 2 handfuls of peanuts, tea with milk

Lunch: Mango juice, 1 piece left-over pizza, 1 slice rye bread with hummus, tea with milk

Dinner: Spaghetti (1/2 portion), 1 apple, 1 slice rye bread with hummus

Water: 8 glasses (hot, humid day)
Walking: 40 minutes

Overall, I seemed to eat less, but I'm not impressed with the fact that I ate no vegetables today! I'm resolving to eat 2 salads tomorrow (lunch and dinner).

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:17 pm

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Breakfast: Bran cereal with blueberries and almond milk, tea with milk.

Lunch: Salad, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 slice rye bread, iced tea

Dinner: Salad, 1 can tuna, balsamic dressing, 1/2 toasted bagel with butter, 1 cup cereal grain coffee with soy milk

Water: 6 glasses
Walking: 30 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:30 am

Monday, July 10, 2006

Breakfast: Special K Vanilla almond cereal with milk, licorice herbal tea

Lunch: 1 slice rye bread, 2 pieces old cheddar cheese, cream of mushroom soup, tomatoe, celery, carrots, earl grey tea with milk

Supper: miso soup, california roll (6 pieces), shrimp tempura roll (6 pieces), 1 slice old cheddar cheese, 1 apple

Water: 6 glasses
Walking: 20 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 8:34 pm

Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 & Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

They're both a blur because of the busy days I'm currently having. But I'm still no S'ing.

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

Breakfast: raisin bran with fresh raspberries and soy milk

Lunch: 1/2 roast beef sandwich with lettuce, tomato, mustard and mayo, Earl Grey tea with milk, 1 apple

Dinner: Large salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, green beans, 7 chicken & pork pot stickers (boiled) with soy dressing (soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, agave nectar, olive oil, freshly pressed and minced garlic --- this is sooooo yummy!)
Felt extremely hungry around 9:30 pm, so had one cup of cereal grain coffee with vanilla soy milk

Water: 5 glasses
Walking: 20 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 4:01 am

Friday, July 14th, 2006

Breakfast: 1/2 ham sandwich with mayo and mustard, tea with milk (I had to make lunches for both my kids, and I decided to make a sandwich for myself and eat half for brekkie and half for lunch)

Lunch: 1/2 ham sandwich with mayo and mustard, lettuce and tomato, 1 plum

Dinner: 7 layer Mexican dip with 20 small corn chips, salad with balsamic dressing, 1/2 burger with ketchup, pickles and mustard, 1/3 of fries with ketchup, 1 beer, 3 handfuls peanuts in the shell (which makes about 1 handful of shelled peanuts)

I was at a baseball game tonight with my son, we really enjoyed ourselves. I tried to keep the fast food to a minimum. I had bought 2 burgers and an order of fries to share with my son, and after eating 1/2 my burger I gave the rest to him (he's 17, no need to say anything more!), and made sure he ate the majority of the fries. It helped that I had the dip with corn chips and the salad at home before we left for the game, so I wasn't extremely hungry, and I was "virtual plating" all the way.

And the game, well, the Toronto Blue Jays lost 5-3 to the Seattle Mariners. Ouch!

Water: 8 glasses
Walking: 40 minutes

Saturday, July 15th, 2006

Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg, 1/2 slice buttered toast, orange juice with fish oil, tea with milk

Lunch: 1 "frittatta" sandwich with cheese, 1 glass lemonade, 1 creamsicle

Dinner: grilled rib steak (delicious!), salad, asparagus with butter, mashed potatoes (a small 1 cup serving), 2 creamsicles (I was in creamsicle heaven today)

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 12:03 pm

Operababe, you are a wonder. Your "time to make it beautiful" reminder must really be your mantra because that seems to be your driving force. You sound in control, determined and focused. That is the name of the game.
I also wanted to thank you for the recommendation of "Life is Hard, Food is Easy". It has a lot of good suggestions for those of us having trouble staying focused and determined. So far it is really helping explain those self sabotaging moments when all my motivation just slips away for the sake of a cookie. I have never understood how a cookie could have sooo much power. She helps answer that question. I am hoping to get some ammunition to help fight the fight and stop working against my best intentions. I have a lot of head hunger during the day and when I am home and tired, the family inherited heart hunger shows up. My siblings and I all have some issues with depression/panic disorder from my dad's side of the family and I have been working through it for over 40 years. I stay busy and meditate etc but the blues hit more nights than I'd like. Finding out how that relates to eating patterns, is interesting and I am hoping that following her suggestions might help break that cycle.

Thanks again for the recommendation.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 2:10 am

Hi Sue,

Thanks for your encouragement, even though I do feel focused and in control, it's wonderful to hear from someone how well they're doing. I really appreciate your thoughts.

And thank you for taking the time to let me know how Life is Hard, Food is Easy is helping you. It's taken me a long time to fully realize how I've used food to get through any sort of setback, even minor ones, and how I'm having to learn how to feel all over again. I've been using food to cope since I was a little girl. It's a powerful pull, the lure of food to "make all the bad feelings go away", those bad feelings being misinterpreted as "hunger". It sounds like you've been using food to deal with a lot of hungers, instead of what food is meant to do: satisfy the physical hunger (i.e. fuel our bodies).

I wish you well as you begin this journey. It's not easy, but I believe that it's the only way to truly gain control of our eating, and start living.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jul 18, 2006 9:56 pm

Monday, July 17, 2006

Breakfast: Oatmeal with milk, fresh raspberries, tea with milk

Lunch: Salad with balsamic dressing, Chicken fajita, 1 apple

Dinner: Large salad with beans, raspberry balsamic dressing, 1 slice rye bread

Water: 9 glasses (very hot today)
Walking: 40 minutes

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:21 am

Sheesh, I've missed a couple of days. Ah, what the hay, I have been No S'ing all the way. Seriously, I am eating 3 meals, no snacks, and if I do get hungry it's usually later at night and so I have my "fake" coffee with some vanilla soy milk. It's all good.

I don't think I need to check in, but I know I'll post something in here at least once or twice per week. I just need to keep myself somewhat accountable. Or maybe this is a habit that I'd like to keep for awhile longer.

And so it goes. I have been so into things that I have forgotten to weigh myself! It's a scale at the office that I've used, since separating I haven't bought my own scale. Actually I think it's better this way, then I'm not jumping on the scale every other day. But at work, we've been busy, and so I keep forgetting to hop on the scale. I feel lighter, hopefully I've dropped at least 4 lbs this month.... well, I'm back at work on Tuesday, and I'll try again. Otherwise, if I let things go too long, I'll be a week away from my TOM, and that's a No Way No Weigh Zone!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 2:43 am

I've eaten a lot vegetables today, because I went to one of those Chinese buffet style restaurants for lunch. The very dangerous "All you can eat" type of emporium that would have spelled disaster a few months ago.

Hallelujah it was easy today. I filled 1/2 of my plate with vegetables: garlic broccoli and some green beans with chili pepper. The other half was a small bit of lo mein noodles, 2 teriyaki meat balls, 2 pieces of sushi, and 1 sweet and sour sparerib, and 2 chicken dumplings with plum sauce. Phew! It was a full plate, but here's the best part. I left about 1/3 of the food on my plate! I didn't want anymore of it! Now I did go back for a bit more food, but it was to get ONE honey garlic sparerib and 2 more pieces of sushi. And that was it. Being an S day, I did allow myself some pineapple (4 small slices), and 1/2 small bowl of creme caramel (my favourite dessert next to creme brulee). I drank some green tea and I was done.

When I walked out of there, I was full, but not stuffed. In the past I would have been so full I would have been in pain. Now, I felt just fine. I think it gives new meaning to the saying "No pain, NO gain!" I was proud of myself. And for dinner tonight I had a plate of vegetables (fresh celery and cucumber) with some hummus dip and 6 rice crackers. That was it. I drank my fake coffee with vanilla soy milk at 10 pm, and now it's 10:40 pm and I'm done. What a good S day. I was in control. Although the wonderful thing is that by following No S, I really couldn't handle more than a plate of food (which, when you add up what I ate - the 2/3 plate plus the extra bit I got, was really what I had in total for lunch).

The No S habit is pretty much with me. And it's a very good thing.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 4:00 am

Working on a new aria "Caro Nome" from Verdi's opera Rigoletto. It's a wonderful piece, but difficult for me because I'm not the coloratura type, I'm more of the dramatic type of soprano. I love to hit those notes and let them soar, not do light little hiccups of the high notes. Oh well, I'm starting to get it, and I am enjoying it. My next recital is tentatively set for November, it should be a treat. I really do love to sing, it simply frees me. And I guess being large goes hand in hand with opera. You know that saying (It ain't over....). But even the world of opera is going "Hollywood". There's a wonderful soprano Deborah Voigt, who was fired by London's Covent Garden opera house because she was too fat to look good in the black dress the director had envisioned for the part. The role went to a slender soprano. One of the headlines read "It Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady Slims". Then Ms. Voigt did gastric bypass surgery, dropped a great deal of weight (from 270 lbs to 160 lbs), and has since been rehired by Covent Garden to do the same role in their 2006-2007 season. (She had been fired in 2004 for the 2004-2005 season.) She went from a size 28 to a size 14. And so it goes.

My plan is to eventually get down to a size 10/12, and then start auditioning and see if I can get a role or two. In the meantime, I continue to develop my voice. I'm an acupuncturist by day, and an opera singer by night! I just want to look normal when I go for singing roles. I don't want to fit the stereotype. At my last recital, I received a lot of wonderful compliments, but what has stuck in my head was the comment from one idiot: "I could see you with the horned helmut and the spear!" That is such a stereotype: a fat woman wearing that helmut and singing loudly, almost screaming the song! I know I don't scream, but that image.... and it's all because I am fat. Nothing to do with my voice, everything to do with my current size.

But I refuse to let that discourage me. In the past, I would have just headed into the kitchen and eaten something. Now I write about it. No more mindless eating, no more hiding my feelings in a piece of apple pie. No more seeking love from a bowl of ice cream. No more.

Daisy · Post by **Daisy** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:08 pm

Good for you operababe, you're doing amazing - well done

Kindest wishes

Daisy

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:15 am

Good thoughts, Operababe. You are insuring that you have a future whether it is in opera or not. Even if you don't ever get hired, they can't stop the singing. If it 's in your heart, and it sure sounds like it is, the song will go on and on. Let the critique part be secondary and the singing be primary. Your head is on straight, so I'm sure you already know that.
The best is yet to be sung.
What you have already imparted to us here on the website, is a song of love and caring and we are all blessed by the performance because it comes from the heart. Bravo! Keep singing forever. Someday, we'll say, we knew her when.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:18 am

That moron was a jerkass!!!
LOL..

Want me to come and put my spear and helmet up his butt!!!???

Some people just have no class!
(Unlike me! see above comments! LOL...)

I find it cool that we are both in the healing and performing arts Babe!
Cool totally!

I thought that story about Deborah Voight was kinda sad..

I use acupressure points all the time in my work!
Neat stuff energy healing eh?

Catchyalater and keep on singing for YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Peace and Love,

Debs

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:32 pm

Daisy, thank you for your lovely thoughts, often the simplest wish can have such a big impact. And I like your name. The daisy is one of my favourite flowers.

Deb, you always bring a smile to my face. I agree, that fellow was an ass, but I think he was ignorant too. He probably didn't realize what an insult it was to say that, I'm sure he thought he was complimenting me too. At least, that's what I want to believe!

You're in the healing arts?!! What sort of work do you do? I know you mentioned acupressure, and I'll do that if a person is too nervous for the needles, but curious minds want to know!

And thank you for your wonderful support. You know as an artist how vital that is, especially when you're older and people don't expect you to do much more with your life except hold down a job and raise your children. I think we're quite special and amazing that we still put ourselves out there! After seeing your site, and listening to your music, you've inspired me. I may see if I can get a recording done of a few arias and put them on a website. You know, just a webpage. A place where I can send people when they learn that I sing. (You can't sing opera at the drop of a hat, the sound is too big, the notes too out there!) Very cool idea, I think. Thank you for being an inspiration!

Last night I overate. I had picked up some Chinese food, one dish and the steamed rice. Half of it would easily have been one plate, but I ate the whole thing. Felt awful afterwards, very stuffed. And that's how I felt when I went to bed, too full. Yuk. I hope that never happens again.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:29 pm

Sue! How could I have missed your beautiful message!!! My apologies, because your words are truly wonderful. You were so sweet to say "Someday, we'll say we knew her when."! And "a song of love and caring, and we are all blessed by the performance". So beautiful! Thank you!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:43 pm

Hi Babe

I'm a massage therapist...

Sorry, I've posted so many gagillion posts where I've mentioned it that I was being presumptuous in thinking you knew already!

Go for it on the music and recording!!!!
It is fun!!!!
And it let's your soul shine!!!

ps.. by tonight or tomorrow the myspace player will have a song up which I recorded this morning.... Very very rough, but all in a moment of inspiration!
Thanks for your sweet encouragement and I'm glad to be someones inspiration! LOL...

Peace and Love,

Debs

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Jul 31, 2006 1:30 pm

Hi Deb, a massage therapist! That's wonderful! I thought about massage, but didn't think I had the physical ability to keep it up. Let's face it, I'm a wimp. And I have to apologize, I thought you played the guitar on the "Take Me to The River" cut I listened to. The confusion was because under the title it said Debstar Divine playing, and then that awesome guitar was on and I'm thinking "Wow, that's Deb playing!" And then my phone rang and so I turned the sound down after listening for half a minute or so. Then I posted to you about your wonderful guitar playing! (I'm red-faced when I think about that.) When I finally listened again, I then realized you were singing! Mea culpa, I'm embarrassed! But you have an incredible voice, a true alto, rich deep tones. I listened to all the songs, I especially like "Crazy Mama". Wonderful! It will take me a couple of months, but then I'm putting up a few songs. Thanks again for the encouragement!

No S is good. Was at a friend's birthday yesterday evening and lots to eat, but I stuck to one plate, and only ate 1/3 of the cake. I also had a bowl of fresh fruit with some of the clotted Devonshire cream. The hostess was trying to get me to take more cream "That's not enough!", but I assured her it would be wonderful with less. And it was! And I only had a few sips of the champagne, otherwise I only drank water. Yay for No S! Yay for me!

[/i]

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Thu Aug 03, 2006 1:08 pm

Operababe,

After being inspired by your "Life is hard.." thread, I wanted to come on your check-in and say "thanks". But, as I read a few of your posts here, I got inspired all over again.

You're doing great and I'm very impressed by your ability to put yourself out there on a stage. Congratulations. My "stage" is the beach and pool and I refuse to not enjoy it just because I don't fit the perfect body profile. For me there is nothing more fun than making sandcastles on the beach with my kids. Recently a (much skinnier than I) woman said she couldn't go swimming because of how she looked in a bathing suit. Now that is sad.

Anyway, that was a bit of a digression, but thanks again for the inspiration. Get that myspace/webpage up so we can all hear you sing!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 1:50 pm

Thank you Florida Sunshine! (Your name makes me smile and feel happy, BTW.) I'm glad you're reading the Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy thread, and that it's helping. And I'm even more tickled that my musings here are inspiring you too. I know I'll often read other people's check-ins, just to know that I am not alone in this weight loss struggle. We're all human, and it is one day at a time for many of us. How fabulous that you are out there with your beautiful children and enjoying the beach. You live in the best part of the world for that, I expect when I've retired I may become yet another Canadian "Snowbird" and head to Florida for the winter! Watch out, I may be coming in for a landing one day soon. Hehehe.

It is sad that a woman who is slim feels that she can't wear a bathing suit. How messed up are we when the only suitable body for the beach is one that is seen on TV and movies? Problem, those are 22 year old girls who have never had babies. And even many of them develop eating disorders because they're struggling to lose another 5 lbs! I only watch a few shows on TV (call me a fuddy duddy): Canadian or American Idol, Law and Order ("Regular" and SVU), and the original CSI. Sometimes I'll catch Jeopardy, sometimes ER, sometimes another reality show like So You Think You Can Dance, but overall I'm not interested in seeing shows where women are treated like they're just decoration (as in T & A decoration). Florida, I'm glad you're out there enjoying life. A big thumbs up to you, and a big thumbs down to the whole image industry that perpetuates these stupid impossible-to-attain body types for women.

See, aren't you glad you brought this up? It's hard to get me to shut up. Sigh. OK, I can get intense when I'm in the mood for it. You caught me!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 1:23 pm

I've had a very busy week, hence not on these boards in awhile. The office I work in moved, and we were all busy with packing boxes and getting them on to the moving truck, and then the unloading and unpacking. The unpacking part is still happening. But the new office is beautiful and a definite improvement from the previous place.

I sang at a friend's wedding yesterday. "O Mio Babbino Caro", which isn't the most appropriate song for a wedding (young girl pleading with her father to allow her to marry the boy she loves or she will commit suicide!), but it was the bride's mother's favourite aria. Her mother passed away when she was only 8 years old, and this was my friend's way of having a bit of her mother at her wedding. It went well, and it was a perfect day for an outdoor wedding. Quite beautiful in fact, when here in Toronto we are usually dealing with a lot of humidity. As is most of the North East U.S.

My eating has been good, except I've been indulging in desserts this past week. Treating every day like an S day is not good. I only had 2 sweet pastries at yesterday's wedding. And I have no plans for any sweets today. I've put my foot down on the sweet thing. Other than that, I have 3 meals/day. Lots of fruits and veggies. I'm feeling good, and my clothes seem a little looser. We'll see what the scale says in a few days, when I plan to weigh myself. Today is day 3 of my cycle, and I will get on the scale on day 7 or 8. But if my weight hasn't changed much, that's OK, it just means I have to be more consistent with No S. I also have to get more physically active. I've been relying on a week of moving work for activity, but I have to get serious now. I'm thinking about doing the Pilates DVD 2-3 times/week. And do a lot more walking. Plus I've got my rebounder. I really should get it out and do some daily rebounding. 10 to 15 minutes per day would be perfect.

OK, I'm blabbing and babbling. And I'll be back to do some more in the not too distant future.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 3:03 pm

Operababe - sounds like things are going well for you. I, too, have quite a sweet tooth that I need to get under control. This week I'm really gonna try to hold off on ALL sweets until the weekend - let's wish us both luck with that!

I did comment back to you on my thread regarding our previous beach comments - here's what I said:

"I enjoyed your post - thanks. I agree about the beach attitudes and the poor image of TV/women (of course, that may be one reason I don't even own a TV, and have not for many years - there are way too many other things I'd rather be doing than watching other people on TV! ). Once again, we've had a lovely weekend with lots of pool time and walks on the beach - I do love it and you will too if you become a "snowbird"! Although there appears to be a storm brewing off the coast today - black clouds are amazing - yikes."

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:55 pm

Ah yes, the evil drug.... sugar. I really think it's a type of drug, how else could there be so many sugar addicts in the world! We will beat it Florida, in fact, we're on our way now! And I hope those black clouds aren't too ominous. Your state gets way too many bad storms. I am praying all is OK.

At the wedding I sang at was a woman who is a major opera patron. She's quite wealthy, hence the patronage of opera! Well, my friend, the bride, emailed me today and told me that she was ASTOUNDED by my voice, and wants to have me over for dinner (with my friend and her husband)! Don't know where this will lead, but she is a terrific connection to the opera world.

On Sunday, I had a terrific "No S" S day, meaning there were no sweets, no seconds, and no snacking. Felt really good. My plan is to only allow myself one sweet this coming weekend. And the rest, the usual No S lifestyle. Hurray for No S!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:31 pm

Ooooh!!! Nice to hear about the *astounded* Patroness of the Arts!!!
Crossing my tessituras for you!!!!

Debs!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 3:01 am

Thanks Deb! But I have to ask: what's tessituras? I like the sound of you crossing them, but the image is a little blank 'cuz I have no idea what they are!

Hope you're doing great, special lady!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Aug 15, 2006 7:19 am

LOL!!! Yeah you really can't cross them anyway! It's not anything tangible! LOL.. I was being silly! Sorry Babe!!!
I figured you would get a laugh and I ended up making you cross your eyes instead!

Tessitura is the usual range of notes which is best for any instrument... Normally this is, as pertains to the voice, and singing (usually this is not a term heard in smoky blues bars, but rather in the world of Opera)
Here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tessitura

BTW,
Have you ever seen the Marx Brothers "A Night at the Opera"???
Quite possibly one of the absolutely funniest ending scenes, and movies, overall, I have ever seen!

Peace and Love,

Deb

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 1:13 pm

OMG Deb, I had never heard that term before! But that's probably because I am not university trained. I simply take expensive lessons when I can afford them and perform in student recitals where no one says a word about what a tessitura is!

Work has started getting busier, which I am grateful for. I only get a percentage of the people who book with me, so if there are no bookings, I don't make any money! The summer is usually slow, but for some reason, it was extra slow this year. Can we say credit card?!!

And speaking of work, yesterday one of my clients noticed my weight loss. Not only that, this is a MALE client, so that was especially impressive. It's usually the women who take note. People at work have been noticing, and several of my female clients have made comments. But this was someone I hadn't seen in a few months, and he said, "what's happening to you? You're so much smaller!" Gosh, that gave me the biggest grin.... we're talking ear to ear!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:13 pm

It's Saturday, technically an S day, but I'm treating it like a No S day. That's because I indulged the other day in a very large bowl of strawberry ice cream. What can I say, I just wanted it. It was a kind of binge in reverse. In the past I would eat dinner first and then binge. On Thursday night, I did the ice cream at around 7 pm, and then around 8:30 pm I ate dinner. Oh well, dinner was less than I normally have, so maybe it all balanced out in the end anyway.

Yeah, right.

So I guess Thursday was a failure, but a success if I say that was an unplanned S day. The only worry I had was that I didn't turn to my Life is Hard, Food is Easy tricks. You know, chew gum or go for a walk instead of eating ice cream. And I didn't even think of the two bite rule. It was like I was on automatic pilot.

When I look back, I realize why, I felt a bit down because I had a singing lesson that afternoon with this top opera dude. He said I had a fine voice, but that "the time had passed when I could pursue a professional career". No wonder I got into a let's go eat a pile of ice cream mood. Then last night I chatted with my friend and opera mentor who lives in British Columbia (darn it, wish she were here in Toronto), and she told me "Sure, they'll think that you're too old, but then all they have to do is hear you sing! Your voice is a 'rule-breaker', you will get work. Period."

I felt much better after that. And so it goes.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:49 pm

Hi babe! Glad to hear you are trading your S Day in exchange. Good for you. And it was great that you recognized the issue that made you do it. I am amazed at looking at this board (as compared to others) and the honesty about ourselves that is shared here. And the hope. There is so much hope (not hype) at this place. Good luck this weekend!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:45 pm

Hi there Christi, thank you for your post! You're so right, we're all hope and no hype!

I am soooooo tired today, I goofed last night and had what I thought was a cup of herbal tea but instead turned out to have plenty of caffeine because I wasn't able to fall asleep until 3 am, and I had to be up by 6 am. Oh boy.

But my eating was terrific today: fruit salad and cottage cheese for breakfast, noodle soup with roast chicken and broccoli for lunch. Now I'm home, don't feel hungry but it's only 4:45 pm, and my plan is to nap for a bit and then get up and eat dinner.

And tomorrow will be a new day!

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 10:59 pm

I have been doing extremely well, and I'm feeling good.

But I worry a bit, just a wee bit, about getting slim enough by next spring that I could start auditioning and maybe get a small part in a local opera company production or high level amateur group. I really want to be under 180 lbs before I go out there and do that.

And so I persist. Still feeling good. Lots and lots of vegetables and salads and fruit fills my day, and my plate. Volumetrics, keeps me full and healthy. Or so that's what I've heard.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:25 am

What is volumetrics?

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:47 pm

Hi Gettn',

Basically, from what I understand of it, volumetrics is large amounts of low calorie foods, primarily fruits and vegetables. I am a big eater, always have been, and my 3 plates per day are typically quite full with veggies and fruits. It really keeps the hunger away between meals, and I feel better too.

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 2:35 pm

Monday, August 28th

Hard to believe that August is almost done. September looms, and we'll be sending kids back to school and watching the leaves change and the air getting cooler and crisper. I love the fall. It's my favourite time of year. I always feel I'm getting a brand new start with the fall.

And now confession time: I've been an absolute pig the last few days. Really dug into a lot of high fat and high sugar junk over the weekend. What's wrong with me? My plan is to get back into lots of healthy eating and just keep moving forward. I feel as if I've sabotaged all my hard work over the last 2 months in this one weekend. Really felt bloated and horrible.

Must remember how horrible it feels the next time I find myself shoving crap into my body.

Over and out for now.

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Aug 29, 2006 11:36 am

Maybe motivation has taken a temporary vacation. I am back after a month long hiatus. Don't know why. Just couldn't do it anymore for a while. Had to sort some stuff out. I am back armed with Life is Hard, Food is Easy and also, Can't afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought. Also, blood pressure is up again which was an eye opener. Don't want to do the drugs if possible and readings were down for a while. So, I'm back. I hope to stay. But life is a roller coaster. There will be times when all the good thoughts and all the logic in the world will not win over that candybar. I think that is just reality. Even the author of Life is Hard says a number of times that this or that motivator works for her MOST of the time. So go easy on yourself and use the time to find out what is going on that may be different from your early days of motivation. Maybe something emotional needs attention. Mine ended up being that I am STILL going through some real issues with getting older. Feel like "what's the use?" a lot. I was hoping to be one of those people who age gracefully but it doesn't look like that will be happening. More like, Grumpy Old Men unfortunately. Ha ha. But I now again realize that I am getting older whether I am fat or thin and I will probably stay healthier longer and feel better, if I am thinner. Older I can't change, thinner and healthier, hopefully I can. So hang in there Babe. It's a battle some days but as long as we are mostly winning, let's not give up.

gettnbusy · Post by **gettnbusy** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 6:36 pm

PANGELSUE:
Well put. Thanks!

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 10:09 pm

Thanks, nice compliment and I appreciate it.

Where are you, Babe!! Hopefully you check in and see this. When I took my month off, I checked in now and then and felt sorry for myself when no one asked where I was. (how juvenile was that???). Hope you are well and lurking about. Rejoin the group soon, we miss you.

Post by **reinhard** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 1:44 am

Sorry it's been forever since I popped in here... and sorry now that I finally have to see you've run into some trouble.

You've made such great strides the last few months. I hope you won't let a lousy weekend completely derail you.

Best of luck getting back on track and looking forward to hearing more from you!

Reinhard

P.S. sorry about not asking when you were gone pangelsue. One I've been terrible about keeping up with the checkins, plus I'm nervous about people feeling like someone is going to come after them if they dare quit. But you're right, it's better to give at least one little sign of friendly interest and support.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Thu Sep 07, 2006 4:03 am

Hi Babe!!!!
Don't beat yourself up too much!!!!

Everyone pigs out sometimes!!!
Everyone makes mistakes!!!!

Chin up okay me Operababe???

And Sue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG TIME NO SEE!!!!!!
*WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!*

Hugs ladies!

Peace and Love,

Debs!

(who hasn't really been good either, like Rein, about reading too thoroughly these days! Sorry!!!)

operababe · Post by **operababe** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:28 am

A big hug and thank you to Sue, Reinhard and Deb, for your postings and your concern. You are all beautiful people and it was wonderful to know that you care! Thank you!

I've been in a major funk, to put it mildly. And my eating has been out of control. My trigger? I'd been staying at my old house (where my husband and I used to co-habitate) because my husband was in Italy with my son, and I was there to look after the dogs and take care of my daughter. During the whole 3 weeks I stayed at the house, I ate and ate and ate. The old binging came back in full force. I think it was even worse than before. I'm now back in my apartment, and I am ready to get back into No S 100%. I know that the hopelessness and depression engendered by my sad marriage is alive and well in that house. I hope I never go back there.

And my husband gets back today and I give him a hug when he arrives.... and he won't let go of me. He keeps holding me close, then whispers "I really missed you." Lord Tunderin' Jaysus, as I think about that I feel confused and upset. Gentle reader, trust me, I have no intention of reconciling. He's a mostly unemployed out-of-work actor who has treated me horribly over the years. Neglect must have been stamped on my forehead because that's how I was treated. Every pound I've put on during that 20-year marriage is testament to how I used food to get some sort of comfort and love in my life. And now he wants to "work things out". I told him he'd have to find a full time job, and then the next step would be to go back to counselling, and then after a full year... I'd see. Those are my conditions to even start talking reconciliation, and well, I know there will be no full time job so I don't have to worry about the reconciliation part.

Oh, what am I saying? I don't want to go back to all of that! Even if he does manage to find a full time job, I refuse to put myself in a situation where days/sometimes weeks would go by and he wouldn't speak to me. Where my birthday would come and go without even a card, where Christmases would come and go - same thing. We could never make plans because 90% of the time he would choose to get angry (usually he was angry at me for something small and petty) just before we'd have to leave and either he would refuse to go out, OR he would just take off on his own and leave me behind. I was treated so badly, with a few weeks in between of what I now call "the honeymoon phase". That's when he would be nice, would pay attention, would go out to a movie with me, etc., because it was after me getting to such a point of exasperation that I was threatening to leave. So he'd "behave". He'd be nice to me, just long enough to feel it was now OK to be nasty again. And of course, I was always last in importance. He always sided with his mother against me, the few times there was any sort of tension between my mother-in-law and I. As well, all of his friends are put ahead of me. Same thing, he'd side with his friends. I was never first.

Now I'm back in my apartment, and I am looking forward to getting back on track with No S.

My plan is to also get more active, walk at least 45 minutes 5 days per week. Start doing Pilates at least 2 days per week. And stay away from sweets. It's a plan, and it's a start. And it doesn't include reconciliation with a miserable man who is going nowhere fast.

flsunshine · Post by **flsunshine** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 5:01 pm

Welcome back! I've always enjoyed reading your posts and am glad to see you here again. I'm also greatly impressed with your commitment to starting again. I have started over several times and it finally seems to be "sticking" a bit.

I think that is one of the best things about No-S ~ you can just pick up and start any time with no fuss, no muss. No journals to worry about, no measurements to remember, no point values to re-calculate, no weigh-ins, etc.

Congrats, too, on realizing how important YOU are.

No one can do a better job of taking care of you than yourself. Unfortunately, sometimes no one can do a worse job, either, but I say you should treat yourself at least as well as you would want someone else to treat you. Make yourself healthy food, take yourself on walks, show yourself new hobbies, give yourself rewards (no food, thank you very much) for your accomplishments - what do you think?

Post by **reinhard** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:31 pm

Operababe,

Welcome back!

You had a great first go at it, much better than most people's -- and it does take most people a few tries to get this down.

It's very understandable that you were thrown off kilter by recent events, but now that you're back in more predictable circumstances, things should be much easier. You've also seen the kind of thing that can throw you off, and can better brace yourself should it come up again/endeavor to avoid it altogether.

Reinhard

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 11:57 am

Welcome back!!!!!!!!!!!! We missed you. I can't improve on the comments from Reinhard and flsunshine. They said it beautifully. You did it once and you can do it again.
Regarding the ex, I will hand our some free, unasked for advise (what's new? LOL). He sounds like he is not really missing you or he would have treated you better in the first place. What he might be missing is having someone to abuse and abuse until they feel lousier than he feels about himself. Beating someone down emotionally is a powerful drug for some people. It helps them feel in control of their lives. Without you to abuse, he is probably having to face some hard facts and he doesn't like it. Believe it, Babe, someone who treats you like that doesn't love you. They might need you or want to be able to control you but love doesn't destroy, it builds. Regarding staying strong or reconciling, I love to quote Eleanor Roosevelt who said " there are no victims, only volunteers."

So excited you came back to us and are again ready to resume making it beautiful.

hikermom · Post by **hikermom** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 12:08 am

Sue gives good advice.

I'm glad you are back and on track, Babe.