Everyday Systems

Day 1 - success

Welcome back!

Thank you Lori - it's good to be back!
Day 2 - also a success. Lunch was split in 2 as I was called to a meeting, but I managed to wait for dinner until 8pm after swimming.

I didn't think I was much of a seconds girl, but that was the hardest part of today - stopping eating after 1 plate of dinner.

That is officially 5 days of success. Much easier than I thought it would be - not sure why I've been putting off starting again! I don't want to be over confident though - next week might be much harder...

Another mainly successful week. Mon to Thursday was fine then Friday was a very stressful work day and my routine was different. One small chocolate led to 'what the hell' and I ate what I wanted for the rest of the day. This was my problem last time I tried no s - once a day is a failure I just keep going.

So since my last check in over 2 weeks ago I've had 2 successful days. I could blame all sorts of things - half term, work stress, days out.....but really I just give in too easily.

Wednesday - success

idontknow wrote:Wednesday - success

Yeah! Take it one day at a time, and build on each success.

Thank you Merry

Thursday was also a success. Friday was a meal out with a friend so was an s event. A lovely restaurant where it's worth having a treat

Starting again. I've lost count of the number of times I have failed at this! The time between lunch and dinner is long and the hardest part of the day for me, so this time I"m planning for it by dividing my lunch into 2 parts. I'll eat one part at normal lunchtime and save the yogurt for about 4pm. Not strictly Vanilla No S, but it will be so much better than 'I'll start again tomorrow' or 'WTH- I've failed so I'll eat everything in the cupboard.'
Rereading the No S information the part on responsibility really struck a chord - and not just in regards to eating. I am responsible for what I eat. I'm responsible for my attitude towards everything in my life and I've been blaming my environment and my situation for too long. My weight is the heaviest it's ever been, but this isn't just about losing weight now. It's about taking responsibility and making changes in several areas.
I have committed to the January challenge, but given my propensity to an all or nothing approach I might need to just take things one day at a time. I don't want to give up this time.

Welcome back! Very wise of you to focus on the habits, one day at a time. Hang in there!

Thank you Amy
Monday - success. Tomorrow is back to work so different strategies needed.

Tuesday. Success. And the gym too!

Wednesday and Thursday - both successes. Wednesday is usually full of food! I have 2 long meetings where food is provided and I usually eat all day. Yesterday I postponed my lunch until late afternoon so didn't eat in either meeting. The same strategy helped today. I can go for a long time between breakfast and lunch, but can't manage for so long between lunch and dinner which is strange.
I am enjoying eating less - I feel sharper, less tired and have more patience. I don't know why I forget that this is a good feeling!

Friday - success. Another late lunch, then gym and late dinner. Seems to be working well for me so far. We'll see. Just doing one day at a time.

idontknow wrote:Wednesday and Thursday - both successes. Wednesday is usually full of food! I have 2 long meetings where food is provided and I usually eat all day. Yesterday I postponed my lunch until late afternoon so didn't eat in either meeting. The same strategy helped today. I can go for a long time between breakfast and lunch, but can't manage for so long between lunch and dinner which is strange.
I am enjoying eating less - I feel sharper, less tired and have more patience. I don't know why I forget that this is a good feeling!

I am the same way. In between lunch and dinner is by far the hardest time for me to resist snacking. Most of the time it is not even real hunger. I usually have very strong cravings.

Woo hoo! Way to go!

idontknow wrote:Friday - success. Another late lunch, then gym and late dinner. Seems to be working well for me so far. We'll see. Just doing one day at a time.

Awesome! One day at a time, yes.

Thanks for the support everyone!
The weekend was fairly sane - I stuck to 3 meals on Saturday, although we went out for dinner and had a starter as well as a main. Sunday was a bit more snacky but not much - definitely not over the top.

Monday - success although it was hard at times. I give out chocolate biscuits to my duty team on Mondays and it was very hard to resist eating one, but I managed!

Tuesday - success.
One week under my belt now. I haven't lost any weight this week, but that's ok - it's the first week and I have stuck to No S every day.
Not eating sugar or huge meals means I'm not bloated. My clothes feel better, especially around my middle. I don't feel as overwhelmed or stressed by things at work, and I definitely have more patience. Definitely reasons to keep going.

Wednesday - failure. But only a small one. I finished dinner and carried on eating a handful of chips. I could have rationalised it by saying that they would have fit on the plate, but that would not help me to solidify the habit. However, I'm not using this small failure as an excuse to eat everything in the cupboard. I have resisted the usual Wednesday work snacks - a few extra chips aren't going to sabotage me.

Thursday - success

I think you're smart not to rationalize your red moment. It just complicates things. Also great non-weight related reasons why NoS is working for you. Realizing that I'm better off doing NoS even if I don't lose a single pound is what helped me finally stick to it.

Have a great day!

Linda

idontknow wrote:Tuesday - success.
One week under my belt now. I haven't lost any weight this week, but that's ok - it's the first week and I have stuck to No S every day.
Not eating sugar or huge meals means I'm not bloated. My clothes feel better, especially around my middle. I don't feel as overwhelmed or stressed by things at work, and I definitely have more patience. Definitely reasons to keep going.

Great! Your previous No S experience is paying off - our bodies love it when we stick to the habit!

Thanks Linda and Rawcookie. I have failed at No S so many times - there really must be some benefits to all that failure Seriously though, I know I've failed in the past because of all or nothing thinking so that is what I am really working on this time. Feel free to remind me of this anyone ever!

Friday was a success. Saturday was an uncontrolled S day in terms of sweets and snacks, although probably not as wild as it could have been. It didn't feel good though - made me feel a bit sick. We had a lovely meal out in a Turkish restaurant last night - beautiful food and lots of it.

Today is gym, prep work for the week, cinema to see La La Land and maybe a bit of shopping. I'm going to stick to proper meals today, with a sweet if I want one - I like feeling hungry and don't want to feel like I did yesterday.

Monday - fail. Seconds after dinner No snacks or sweets though which are the serious damage for me....

Tuesday - success. Very tricky day at work, but delaying lunch is working well. Gym before dinner. All good.

Wednesday - fail. Extra chips after dinner

Thursday - success

Aarrgghh!!!
Friday - fail
Monday - fail
Tuesday - fail
Wednesday - fail
Thursday - fail

What's going on? I was doing ok and now have fallen off the wagon completely.
I think I need to be stricter at weekends - a return to the former ways of eating makes it hard to start again on Mondays.
When I'm tired it's harder not to eat. This week has been hard at work - very busy and redundancy announcement. I've noticed that when I'm tired it's harder to resist food.
Friday will be a success and the weekend will be controlled.

Friday - success. Back on track

Good for you for getting back on track.

I found Mondays really hard for the first 2-3 months, but honestly, once you get past that, I usually now find Mondays are a relief (it feels good to get back on track).

You can do this!

good job, getting back on track for Friday.

Does it help to think of a "stumble" in this analogy?

If you are driving along, and your front wheel drifts onto the shoulder, do you correct and continue driving? Sure! Anyone's wheel can drift, but getting back on the road means correcting mildly and carrying on. A driver who corrects by going in the ditch every time the tire goes on the shoulder would be in a world of hurt.

I don't know if that helps or not. It has made a big difference to me in my lifetime.

anyway, I think it's terrific that you made Friday a green day, and I want to encourage you for Monday...You can do this!

Thank you so much Merry and Bunso. I love that analogy of a correction in direction. I've never thought of it like that before and will definitely keep that in mind.

Monday - success. No reason why Tuesday won't be. I've managed until now and just have dinner to go.
I've been using my Misfit Shine since the 2nd January. I've met my goal of 1000 points every day - which is about 10 000 steps. Overall that's 128.4 miles!
I've also been tracking my weight by logging every day.
January - average weight - 165lbs. Highest - 166.6lbs. Lowest - 163 lbs.

So that's my benchmark. In February I'm going to carry on reaching 1000 points each day. I can't imagine not doing it now. I'm also going to add a daily 15 minute yoga habit. I can do that for 28 days!

The week at a glance:
Monday - success
Tuesday - success
Wednesday - fail
Thursday - success
Friday - fail

The fails weren't huge but were unnecessary. One was because of an emotional response and tiredness, the other was because we were at ice hockey and eating sweets.

The week was going so well! I succeeded until Thursday evening - that was a small fail. Friday was a larger fail with too many sweet things that made me feel a bit sick. Both fails started due to pressure from others - not from myself. I would have been happy not to eat extra things. I will ponder strategies for this.

Disaster this week! Half term, so I've been at home, out with friends and family, and food rules/exercise have fallen by the wayside.
I'm going to London for the weekend so will do lots of walking but eating may be haphazard.
Since the Christmas holidays I've followed No S at work more or less successfully. I've had occasional days where I've had small fails, but I feel confident about my ability to succeed at work. I realised this week that I don't feel like that when I'm at home, which may be because this is where I spend S days. The holidays have made me realise that I need to think about home routines so I don't fall into this trap again. That may mean putting some rules in place at weekends - I don't want to wait for the next holidays to practise this.
Time to think....

Have you thought? Are things going well? You said in this last post that you didn't want to wait for the next holidays to practice this. I agree! A couple of good months left before the flurry.

Thank you for checking on me, Oolala
I do a lot of thinking, but there's not much action. No S is in my thoughts every day as the basis for eating habits. Some days I'm successful, but more often than not I choose to fail. I know what I need to do, I know I will NOT go back to WW, calorie count, or follow any other restrictive diet plan. I know that No S is the only way of eating I will ever be prepared to follow but it often feels just too hard.
I have been on and off this site for a few years, and I was very successful a few years ago, but can't seem to regain that determination to keep at it.

It seems we all could use a stirring half time speech from a coach to motivate us to stay the course, or Win One for the Gipper. For people not familiar with American Football, I'm referring to Knute Rockne's stirring half-time speech to his players at Notre Dame. Maybe we need Reinhard or Tony Robbins(Motivational speaker) to come into our home and give us the motivation to not snack, or have an extra serving, or eat a whole pack of Oreo's when it's going badly with NoS.
Self motivation to stay on NoS is difficult for a lot of us, guessing 90% but who knows? Good to see you posting and relating to a problem that we all face.

If I may, and I'm sorry if I've said this before, but I avoided doing something I had read about years earlier, but it made a big difference when I started. I made a list of the benefits I believed I would get from moderate eating (not weight loss). Only a fraction of the reasons were appearance-based. (I've been vindicated on that by research that shows that people who maintain weight loss rarely do it just because of vanity. They just plain feel better! If they don't, the changes rarely stick.) I read that thing hundreds of times in the first six months. I figured my overeating thought patterns had had a lot more practice than that, so it was logical that I needed new propaganda.

I didn't write it down then, but I realize I also had very clearly in my mind that my random eating was making me miserable. I noted how much of the day I felt lousy. I had to find a way to decrease it, and I knew that several years of eating five times a day had done nothing to prevent me from also compulsively overeating modern manufactured foods. I accepted that there would be sometimes that I would want food enough that I would feel like I would explode if I didn't get it, and that I would still have to say no. But I also had learned that if I could get over those humps, things would get better MOST of the time. I recommend now that people also make a list of what they truly want to avoid from overeating, not just what someone tells them they should want to avoid. Read that a lot, too.

The list idea I finally surrendered to using the Beck weight loss workbook but avoiding all her recommendations for calorie limits and recording calories. I used a lot of her talking-back-to-eating whims to keep me on track between meals.

Changing eating habits, as Reinhard reports at times, is mostly a mental activity. I believe also increasing the quality of food helps work hand-in-glove with that, but the thinking often has to come first to get the person to even work on food. And before that, fasting between meals. They all work together, but rarely overnight.

When you really get that how you're living at the effect of random eating whims is more misery-inducing, spirit-sucking than sticking to Vanilla or something near to it, it will get easier to bear the difficult moments, i.e., winning one for the Gipper (the Gipper was a star athlete who fell ill and died, but asked his coach Knute Rockne to tell the players at down times, to win one for the Gipper.) This time, the Gipper is YOU.

We're on your side!

Thank you to both of you for your support and good wishes.
Oolala - you are so very wise. I have made my lists of the benefits I will gain from moderate eating, and what I want to avoid by not overeating. And you are absolutely right - most of that is not about weight loss. I have the Judith Beck workbook somewhere - I will dig it out.

I have been observing my eating habits over the last week. I know that a good breakfast is key to good habits for the day. I often don't eat dinner until 9pm or later but delaying lunch until 3pm-ish is fairly easy and means I can get through to dinner time without snacking. Eating sweet things makes me bad-tempered and I wake up feeling horrible.

I want to change my habits and I know I need to learn to manage discomfort. Marking a day red leads to 'what the hell' eating, so I struggle with counting red/green days. Is this something I need to learn to do, or can I just focus on achieving the habit without measuring it?

Thank you again for your help and support.

Habitcal is not necessary but habit theory finds that having SOME way to acknowledge success at least is useful. A friend on another site would add a pleasant icon each day she kept her strategy. She did this with 4-day wins, and it led to some pretty good longterm habits. She used to binge AND purge. Has purged only once in years, and binged only a handful of times in the same period. And works out darn consistently.

Before you give up on red and green, consider adding another Habitcal calendar for keeping track of NOT succumbing to WTH if you fail. Days are blank if not needed, green if needed (you failed but stopped at the small indiscretion) or red if a big fail. Yeah, that's TWO reds, but maybe that's more incentive not to take the first bite? It's not good to heap guilt on failures but it IS good to want to AVOID heaping guilt. Ironic, but true.

Oglala - you are right as usual. If I don't track it will be easy to give up - and of course I need to commit properly. I like the idea of the second Habit Cal and will try this.
Tomorrow is the first day of my restart. I have lost count of the number of times I've restarted - maybe this time I can make the habits stick.

Read your lists! Over and over every day! When the urges come, think, "THIS is the moment I need to hold out for my next meal. It's the best way to subdue my overeating habit. It's uncomfortable, but in the end, it's only a lot of sensations in my body that mean no harm. I can get past this and will enjoy my next meal so much more!" Then think about something good you will have at that meal.

Remember, you want to have a much more pleasant experience at the holidays this year. It will be so worth it!

I was successful Mon, Tues and Thurs last week. On those days I followed your suggestions, Oolala. I read the lists, told myself that the discomfort wasn't permanent and that it was teaching me things I needed to learn. It wasn't hard to follow the rules on those days.
So what happened on Weds and Fri?
Firstly, changes in routine - I have learnt from last week that when I don't follow my normal routine things can fall apart quickly. I didn't have my normal breakfast for various reasons and that made me think I wouldn't be able to succeed that day. If I am going to succeed at this I need to be able to follow the rules whatever routine I'm following. This isn't a 'diet' - it's a way of eating that doesn't need strict meal plans.
Secondly, stress at work. This always leads to eating and I need a better way of dealing with it. A stop and think mantra....
This week will be better.

Three days is great!

Just about EVERYONE gets thrown by a change in routine at first, and it will probably always be more of an effort if routine has to change constantly, but just keep widening the parameters of what is doable over time, and that means months or even longer, not days and weeks.

Keep a copy of the list at work. (I have mine on a doc on my laptop and I have attached it to an email so that I can look at it anywhere. But I also used to have an index card with the best thoughts that I could even take in the bathroom and read at odd moments.) Add something like this to the list: I want to be free of the knee jerk connection between stress and food. Every time I tolerate the stress instead of eating, I break the bonds a little more. If I don't, I keep the habit strong. It's worth it to just put up with the urge/discomfort." Read it there, too, maybe just before the time or events that have been the most problematic.

You probably won't use my words unless they really speak to you; use what hits you right. I'm probably repeating myself, but I also used to say when I was on the verge or even in the middle of bringing food to my mouth, "THIS is the moment I need to stop. I can't wait until it's always easy. NOW will make the biggest break."

But you're not a terrible person if some water goes over the dam. Just let it stay a spill, not a break.

Cheers to a green week!

Oolala - thank you again for your support and encouragement and for the suggestions. I have done as you suggested - I even have photos of the cards on my phone, but I need to remind myself to look at them!

In the last 2 weeks I’ve had 6 green days and 3 red days and one non-weekend S day (daughter’s birthday). I do ok at the start of the week, but Wednesdays derail me because it’s a long working day which makes me tired and that has a knock-on effect on Thursday and Friday. We’ve also had my daughter’s.

I think I probably need to do daily check-ins for now - a little bit of pressure to record will keep the habits in mind better.

Hi, I hope your Saturday is going well. This jumped out at me when I read your post.

and that made me think I wouldn't be able to succeed that day.

I firmly believe that what we think is going to happen is what often does happen. Perhaps you could practice consciously thinking something like, "My routine is out of whack today so I'll eat at this, this and this time."

Regards,

Ginger pie - you are absolutely right! It is entirely this way of thinking that makes me behave in a certain way. And the irony is that this is opposite to my way of thinking about lots of other things. My kids and colleagues will tell you that one of my favourite sayings is that the days you don't want to do something are the days you absolutely have to do it.
Time to apply that to eating...
Green day today.

Okay but I'm still not going to do the dishes before I go to bed...

idontknow wrote:My kids and colleagues will tell you that one of my favourite sayings is that the days you don't want to do something are the days you absolutely have to do it.

Oh my goodness, my life would be completely different because some days I don't want to do anything so I would have to do everything! "Clean all the things!" as Allie would say.

You have all made me laugh so much! I meant big things like not going to work or school, or exercising. I need to apply the rule to eating as it works well for me in other situations. I’m happy for you to leave your dishes Oolala!

Day 4 this week and it has been green all week. I’m in a hotel for 3 days on an intensive training course. There is full breakfast, elevenses, 2 course lunch, afternoon snack and 2 course dinner. I am sticking to one plate. I have chosen things I really want to eat so I don’t feel that I’m missing out on hotel food and it’s working well.

I have planned to make a chocolate cake on Saturday from a recipe we all love, and I’m really looking forward to it.

One more green day for a whole week!

I was browsing the site this morning, as I often do at weekends, and realised that I have been a member for 10 years! I’ve started and abandoned No S a lot of times over these 10 years; I’ve had great advice from many people, inlcuding Oolala, on many occasions; I’ve read the book several times and I’ve been successful at losing weight (quite a lot of it) on a couple of occasions.
So why don’t I stick to it? I know I will never count calories again, or return to WW or SW. I know that No S can be successful for me and I obviously like it here - I return every weekend and read all the posts and think ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ but never do. I think I’m afraid of the discomfort No S brings - the hunger between meals and the lack of instant gratification at a moment of stress, celebration or sharing.
But I think I have finally got to the point where I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life. I am sick of the chatter in my head and want some peace, so I am back for another try. I have followed Oolala’s suggestion of a list of non-appearance based reasons to do this. The list is on my phone, iPad, and computer. I’ve done this before, but the list feels different this time. The reasons are smaller and more personalised, and resonated more as I wrote them.
Checking-in every day will be important as I need accountability. I’m going to weigh every day and record it on the iPhone Health app: I like to know where I am, rather than wait a month, expect changes and don’t see any. That will send me into spiralling emotions, whereas weighing every day will be a form of recording data to see long-term patterns, and it’sanother form of accountability. However, I will only post information about losses/gains on the 1st of the month. I will record what I eat here, as it is another form of accountability and can be useful to look back on if I don’t lose.
Wish me luck! I know this is a very supportive place - I feel like an idiot for trying and abandoning No S so many times, and I know some of you have seen my good intentions fail on many occasions, but I know I will be welcomed back, encouraged, and given good advice, so here goes....

Welcome back, I wish you luck

Jx

idontknow wrote:So why don’t I stick to it? I think I’m afraid of the discomfort No S brings - the hunger between meals and the lack of instant gratification at a moment of stress, celebration or sharing.

You answered your own question here, perhaps what you should aim for first is to develop the 3 meal a day habit without the hunger, eat enough that you don't get too hungry between meals. You can then if you want to lose weight reduce your plate sizes maybe one meal at a time. You'll always be able to return to a point that you know you can live with and maintain weight at. It might take a bit of experimenting but will be worth the effort.

Also don't forget to declare an S day so you don't feel deprived at celebrations

Jx

Welcome back idontknow! When I first saw your notice in my email, I thought someone was playing along with my handle on NoS. I Don't Know if you're familiar with the greatest comedy routine in history by Abbott and Costello. At any rate, good to see you back here. Whosonfirst.

We need a whatsonsecond here.

It's a bit chilling to look at, but where you are (having tried, found some success, and backtracked) is where nearly all overeaters are, and where nearly all of them will stay for the rest of their lives, caught in a kind of eating limbo.(I don't mean to say that it's a fate worse than death or something shameful. It's just about looking at the stats.) I believe they focus too much on thinness and not on how much their quality of life will improve with saner eating. It was seeing that serious overeating, and the ploddingness that brought on, would be my habit forever if I didn't take action, plus seeing how well No S fit the criteria for managing excess, that made the difference. The obstacles didn't go away; they just got smaller in comparison to what was at stake.

No S is not the worst place to be cornered in.

Welcome back, and all the best this time round.

Discomfort is a very subjective thing. I decided that the discomfort of waiting for my next meal was less than what would be waiting for me if I didn't do something successful about my overeating.

Thank you to all of you for your kind words. Idontknow is definitely on third base! (love that routine!)

Soprano - the problem with the celebration is that it's usually a 'celebration'. I have a large team at work and they are always celebrating something!

Oolala - you are right, as usual, and I was inspired by your testimonial where you talk about not wanting to spend the rest of your life eating in this way. It's exactly how I feel right now. I'm 53 - I don't want this battle any more! I've spent way too much time thinking about what/when/where/how to eat and I want it to stop. And the 'ploddingness' - oh my word does that resonate!

Ladybird - yes, discomfort is subjective - and I know my discomfort is worse when I think about it than when I actually experience it.

Deep breath - first day tomorrow!

Monday - success.
Breakfast - egg/toast/orange
Lunch - beef salad sandwich/yogurt/2 x satsuma
Dinner - home made burger/chips/peas
Exercise - yoga class/58 mins of exercise logged on apple watch

A good start - lunch was late because of a late yoga class, which worked ok.

Tuesday success

Breakfast - egg/toast/orange
Lunch - beef salad sandwich/yogurt/2 x satsuma
Dinner - filled pasta, tomatoes, bacon, parmesan, garlic bread (all on one plate)

Exercise - 59 minutes logged on the watch

I eat the same breakfast and lunch every day during the week. I enjoy it, but typing it out every day will be dull!
I'm already feeling less bloated, which is a good feeling. I have noticed today how many cues I associate with food - biscuits left on my desk, a meeting this afternoon, an office where they keep lots of sweets, nibbling while making the lunches for tomorrow, nibbling while making dinner.... Lots of opportunities to eat which I have successfully avoided today.

Maybe you can just copy and paste your B and L meals.

Please don't see it as a weakness that you are stimulated by food cues. It's absolutely human and the EXCEPTION not to be attracted to them. It's part of the modern problem that food exposure is so pervasive. It would be convenient to live with less of it, but it's unlikely. We just have to create our own "scarcity." I heartily support you to hang tough and revel in your meals and your meals alone! Try not to let instinct rule; it's protecting an outdated human need, but thankfully, we also developed a larger part of the brain to overcome it! But also, be gentle on yourself; it's not a personal flaw. Roy Baumeister, willpower expert, found that reducing eating is very tricky. I don't mean to undermine Reinhard's message that this doesn't have to be complicated and the hunger mechanisms are amenable to training, but experience shows that people get tripped up despite a lot of aspiration.

Respect every success and use Habitcal!

Oolala - thank you for the encouragement. I haven't let these cues trip me up at all this week - but I did think it was interesting that I normally give in to them without a thought: I'm in a late meeting therefore I eat sandwiches. Whereas this week I was more conscious and noticed the urge to eat. Reducing eating is tricky and in my experience black and white thinkers find it easier: 'I want to lose weight therefore I will eat less. These are my rules and I will stick to them'. My husband is one of these people - once he decides to cut down on his eating he sticks to it. It's much more difficult for those of us who overthink everything.

This week has been very busy at work and I have had little time to post. I've also had a stinking cold. However, I have had a green week. Thursday was tricky as I was out of my usual eating routine and this is a time when I would normally give into temptation, but I stuck fast this week and kept to the rules.

Weds: B - egg/toast/orange
L - beef salad sandwich/yogurt/2 x satsuma
D - sausage, mash, green beans, onion gravy (yum!)
43 mins of exercise logged

Thurs - B - croissant/2 x satsuma
L - chicken, chorizo and pesto baguette with salad
D - sweet and sour chicken with chips
28 mins of exercise logged

Fri - Back to the usual breakfast and lunch. It will be chilli for dinner - rice or jacket potato- not sure yet.

It's funny, but as I've started No S so many times coming back and slipping into the habits is easy. I know that this has also been the case in the past, but that after the first week it's easy to slip back into old ways. I need to watch myself next week!

If I may, rather than think that you overthink things, just see the old thoughts and dickering AND the fretting over them as much of a habit as the urges. So what? It's not personal. I honestly believe most men get fewer strong cues to eat, especially for the emotional stuff. They might cover emotional stuff other ways, but it hasn't been with food. I honestly think they don't get as bothered by the same things, such as all the relationship stuff, and by that I mean the friends, the coworkers, even children; Their just not conditioned for that. They're conditioned for other stuff, and like I said, they cover it other ways. BOY, I sure think I know a lot!

Short message: try not to get down on yourself for the process. Reinhard himself said on the Facebook group that the psychological side is the biggest obstacle. I doubt he had as many troubling thoughts and mental challenges to the structure for whatever reason. But we're not him.

just see the old thoughts and dickering AND the fretting over them as much of a habit as the urges

Very good advice, Oolala - thank you.

I have a horrible cold and cough, and am only keeping going through the magic of cough lozenges, so I am working my green day around them.
B - orange/egg/toast
L - beef salad sandwich/2 x satsuma
D - curry and chips

56 minutes of exercise logged/yoga class

oolala53 wrote:
Short message: try not to get down on yourself for the process. Reinhard himself said on the Facebook group that the psychological side is the biggest obstacle. I doubt he had as many troubling thoughts and mental challenges to the structure for whatever reason. But we're not him.

So useful and true .. !!

Hi idontknow,
Have been enjoying the conversations on your thread, and taking comfort from Oolala’s advice (hope you don’t mind me ‘scavenging’ from your thread! 🙂). Why is it so easy for many men to lose weight? The ones I know just decide to give up beer for a few weeks or months, and they go ahead and do it. It’s so easy, so clear cut. Whereas folk like us fill a hundred journals with things we have to remember in order to not grab treats at every cue...and even then, we fail. And we are surely more motivated than the men, with those magazine images glaring out at us, on top of our fears of illness. For me, the good thing about No S has been the simplicity of the rules, which have got me into a routine/habit where I don’t have to do much thinking or ‘work’ on myself. But it can be incredibly hard at the start, so if you’ve been through it a couple of times before, I’m not surprised you feel daunted when you contemplate starting again. Anyway, sounds like you’re back in the swing of it now, which is great!

I’m doing Vanilla and it’s tortuously slow (am trying to lose a stone), but I do weigh every day, like you, because if I left it a week or month and then had an upward blip, that would be so discouraging.

Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience here!

I think I wrote about this somewhere else, but men tend to have less of an emotional attachment to food, and more pride in toughing things out. Plus, they have a higher lean mass so they burn more for their height. B

But they tend to die earlier than us, too, though women are catching up. Equality, Baby!

Hi Octavia - please feel free to scavenge (or 'magpie' as my Year 7 students say ) as much as you like. And thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I really am trying hard this time - I want No S to stick this time. I really don't want to live the rest of my life wishing I'd lost weight or saying 'I'll start tomorrow'. I'm so sick of thinking about it all.
And you are right - my husband gives up beer and the weight drops off him!
He definitely loses weight much more quickly than I do.
Oolala - I think the pride is very important for men. I think they also have a very concrete approach to problems - I need to lose weight so therefore I need to take in less calories. Sorted. Whereas I will search Google for the best solution for hours, spend time discussing it with friends over coffee, via text, on the phone, and take no action! And all that inaction can be exhausting...

So - here's to another day of action and success!
B - egg/toast/orange
L - beef salad sandwich/yogurt/2 x satsuma
D - pork medallions in cider sauce (courtesy of M&S), jacket potato and broccoli. Very tasty.
Several cough sweets - permitted to get me through meetings and lessons!

49 mins of exercise logged. Usually go to the gym on Tuesdays, but just walking at the moment as coughing too much!

You remind me that just before No S, I also read that men are more likely to target their "worst offender" rather than be gradual. Snacking all night in front of the TV? It's over. Beer? gone (that one really gets me that they can DO it) Fast food at lunch time? Sandwich from home. Etc.

My worst offender was compulsive eating of candy and baked goods, both sweet and non-sweet, raw and baked. Ice cream, though that was near the end. Limiting them to S days made so much sense; it was a compromise. though my S days were wild, it still balanced out. I did not have the will to kick them cold turkey (and neither do many alcoholics, though AA will stress otherwise.) With perfect compliance, I had lost a little over 10 lbs. in a couple of months, even though I was not trying to and never adjusted anything for the scale. Then I went on a retreat where the food was rather limited in variety, and off I went. Red, green, red, green green green, red. You get the picture. It the body let go of another ten pounds that year, but it was rocky!!! And the habit was always the focus.

But what were my options? None, in my estimation. That's what it always comes down to. Keep being miserable overeating/being the slave of food, count calories, cut categories. The last two with a miserable success rate. Gaaa.

I feel the same. We have no choice. It’s No S or nothing!

Wednesday - success.
Breakfast/lunch - the usual
Dinner - chicken and mushroom casserole, mash, cauliflower
A few cough sweets - not as many today.

59 minutes of exercise logged.

I did not eat the small bag of maltesers someone left on my desk - I gave them to a student and it made her very happy.
I did not eat sandwiches at the meeting tonight - even though they were right in front of me all meeting!

I wore a pair of trousers today that felt much more comfortable - and it's only been 10 days!

My 'worst offender' is sweets/chocolate- once I start I can't stop! I am better if I can cut it out completely. However, if I then go back to eating them, I am worse than ever. I would love to be able to eat them moderately. Maybe one day....

Your experience with sweets is exactly predictable. When people cut way back on such high reward substances, it is typical for the urges to surge back when exposed again. If the person goes overboard, it makes the bond stronger. I understood that right before committing to No S. I saw that it was abstain completely or learn to feel the urges without necessarily giving in. I had the idea that if that knee jerk reaction could be tolerated when the strong urges returned, it might not be necessary to give up sweets completely. But I also didn't expect myself to be able to control the reaction very soon. I was willing to wait. That may have been a mistake, but I'll never know now.

I wish I had the remedy that would take away the dilemma for others and even myself. It's not the terrible burden it once was, but it still takes some effort. Well, it could be worse.

When I don't eat sweets I am a nicer person: calmer, more rational, less tired, more patient and less stressed. In the past I have blamed the stress of my job for making me eat too much, but the truth is that eating sweets makes me feel the stress more and makes me more tired, which makes me eat more. I have given them up for various lengths of time over the last few years and each time I like the change in myself. However, each time I have gone back to the old ways of eating. I want to be able to enjoy the odd sweet at weekends without restarting that whole nagging need to eat sweets until I feel sick. That's my aim - I know it will be hard.

Thursday - success
B/L - usual
D - lamb meatballs with chickpeas and coriander/rice.

49 mins of exercise logged

I agree, it's not easy. In fact, when I have a red day, the next day my body desperately asks for sweets. But I'm sure we'll get it, we already have a lot of livestock!

Oh dear - we all appear to have been spammed!

Friday was a fail, but a very contained fail. We went away for the weekend and were staying in a hotel with very good food. We therefore decided to have a starter and main course. I definitely don't regret it - it was very good.
The weekend has been lovely - lots of walking by the river and the sea. Some good food and some pub stops.

Back to Vanilla No S tomorrow.

Monday - success.
B/L - usual apart from cheese in sandwich instead of beef
D - chips/ribs/peas
several cough sweets
65 mins of exercise logged.

Difficult day at work. Very tired and not feeling great - still coughing! But I didn't use food to make it easier. I even managed to wait for lunch until the end of the day - and then really enjoyed it.

My average weight for April is 0.8 pounds less than my March average. This doesn't sound a lot, but I only started 2 weeks ago. I'm pleased it hasn't gone up and if I keep going it will be better next month.

Tuesday - success
B - usual
L - sandwich only. Didn't have time for anything else and then I was home and it was dinner time!
D - filled pasta/tomatoes/bacon/cheese/garlic bread

I really wanted a kit kat today - but didn't take one when they were offered.
A student brought me some home made rhubarb crumble - I was going to take it home and freeze it for the weekend until someone else told me it was made a week ago. Happy to throw it away and tell her it was delicious!

1/2 and inch off my waist from last month.

Wednesday - fail
B - usual
L - usual
D - chicken and pasta bake. So nice I had seconds
36 minutes of exercise logged.

Thursday - success.
B/L - usual
D - fish and chips! A treat

39 minutes of exercise logged

Welcome back and good for you for giving this a try. I am not new to the idea of this but I am new to trying it out. I hope things work out for you

Any loss in two weeks is a win. Even maintaining is a win!

Thanks Tombo and Oolala.
I'm happy with the loss so far - my clothes feel looser and I am not feeling so bloated. Even if there had been no change on the scales the feeling of being in control is so much better than before!

Friday was interesting - all day long I wanted to slip back into bad habits but resisted. I was very tired - it's been a long, hard week and I just wanted the comfort of eating sweet things continuously. I feel this quite often - the need to sink into chocolate when things are tough. And I mean literally sink - I imagine a physical relaxation of my whole body when I bite into the bar. But I resisted by thinking of my list of reasons I want to be successful. The main motivation at the moment is the clothes I have bought and never worn because they are a little too tight. They hang in the wardrobe looking pretty but the time of wearing them is getting closer!
However, after work we went to London to see 42nd Street at the theatre. We couldn't eat before the show but the girls were hungry so we had a snack (sausage roll in my case and a couple of biscuits). After the show we went to Chinatown - beautiful meal but definitely not one plate!
Saturday was an odd eating day with food at unpredictable times - but it was an S day so that's fine.
We had such a lovely time. I don't regret the food on Friday as choices were difficult, although I probably could have waited for the proper dinner without too much hardship.
Beautiful weather here this weekend and a bank holiday tomorrow. Tomorrow will be an N day - there's no reason to change the habits just because I'm not at work.

I think not indulging in the chocolate was a big win, well done.



Jx

I love the feeling when you pull on your clothes and they feel a little lose, instead of kind of tight all round.

I also know the relaxation from eating. I don’t know if this will help but during my weight loss years I made a ritual of a cup of tea. Instead of indulging in what I wanted to I made earl grey tea in a real pot with a china cup and put it on a tray with a napkin etc and sat and drank it like I was the queen of England!

The whole comforting ritual of warming the pot and using tea leaves and a strainer somehow managed to replace the desire to dive facedown into something, and was comforting as well.

That "relaxation" is no imagined thing. It's the sign of what I like to call seductive food doing its "work." Concentrating at the time of temptation of something pleasant instead IN THE FUTURE, soon or later, is a good new habit to cultivate. You did it!

Thanks for the support Soprano, Merry and Oolala.
Merry - I love a cup of tea but often don't have the time at work to do something as lovely as your suggestions. And unfortunately, I know that feeling tired at work is a trigger to snacking.
I am focussing really hard on riding out the desire to eat outside of mealtimes. I know that the more I do it the easier it will become and that the times when the temptations are strongest are the times I need to resist with all my might!
Seconds is the S which is hardest at the moment and I wouldn't have said this was an area of difficulty for me. I've noticed that I want to continue eating after dinner. I'm not hungry but I've enjoyed my food and want more. This doesn't happen at other meals. Maybe because my routine at breakfast and lunch is to eat and then do something, whereas dinner is a longer, more relaxed meal.
This week so far - Monday - fail. Bank holiday, sunny weather, out of routine = too much food. It felt like a weekend so I fell into weekend habits without even noticing.
Tuesday/Wednesday - success.

idontknow wrote: This week so far - Monday - fail. Bank holiday, sunny weather, out of routine = too much food. It felt like a weekend so I fell into weekend habits without even noticing.
Tuesday/Wednesday - success.

You are doing very well returning to the track immediately. I find that having a failure on a weekday makes it very difficult for me to resume.

Well done!!

Thanks Dalia. I find it easy to folllow the rules at work - but not so easy at home because I associate being there with S days. It’s half term in a couple of weeks, which will be a challenge but I need to learn to eat sensibly in all situations.
Thursday and Friday - success.

True.

I ate more than I needed to at the weekend - especially sweet stuff.

Monday - success
B/L - usual
D - chinese rib/wedges/peas

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday - fail.

They were big fails, too - especially Thursday. As a result I do not feel good physically. Why did I fail? I just didn’t resist the feelings of wanting to eat.
I should have checked in earlier in the week - I think it might have helped me to stay on track.

S days are not going to be wild. I don’t feel great physically because I’ve over eaten so really want to get back on track. Posting every day will help me stay accountable.

Great that you've checked in today I wish you luck getting back on track. I had a small fail last night just a bit of chocolate. I might go for green today to make it up

Jx

Thank you for the encouragement Soprano.

Tuesday - success after a week of fails. Determination won through today!

My overages started last Friday and went through most of the weekend. Finally felt lousy enough to get back to it. It happens!

Hope yesterday was green. Finish the week as green as you can either way!

Last week was a disaster -only 1 green day. Yesterday was also a fail, but a small one. It could have been an S day as it was a bank holiday, but if I'm being honest with myself I intended to have a green day and then we shared some tea and biscuits in the afternoon. It was a nice family moment and I didn't feel I could say no as the youngest had bought them for us as a treat. She isn't home for long and it was a nice thing to do. It was a small fail.

I have been reading about bingeing on one of the posts on the message board. It was very interesting as last week was all about my loss of control. I was tired, work was hard and I gave in to my urges. I've downloaded the free Kathryn Hansen guide and am reading through. Taking responsibility is key and not letting yourself be at the mercy of your urges.

Green day planned today. It's the school holidays so I am out of my routine. I just need to eat 3 meals, with nothing in-between.....

Tuesday - success! My first success since last Tuesday. Lots of exercise too.

Congratulations!!!!

idontknow wrote:I was tired, work was hard and I gave in to my urges.

A year of practising not giving in to my urges when I'm tired has made not giving in a lot easier.

The same way you get to Carnegie Hall.