Octavia is finally checking in!

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jul 30, 2019 2:14 am

I greatly enjoyed your conversation, ladies!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 10:32 am

Back again, after a spell away, simply not getting round to checking in, being too distracted. There’s been lots of extra work over the summer, some significant changes to my working life, and a nice little health scare which found me back at the old breast clinic. Nothing to worry about, I’m glad to say! :) How can a person NOT have time to check in? How can they NOT have 14’ of time to exercise? This really fascinates me about my life, how when I’m distracted and busy, everything goes out of the window except the most urgent tasks. I suppose it’s a matter of ‘bandwidth’. And my head is so stuffed full of difficulties - most of them imaginary, I dare say - that I don’t have the bandwidth to care about healthy eating, even less about weight loss.

Anyway, I’m away on holiday now! And my recent spell of mad eating has to end! It’s Monday - an N day. I’ve just had a modest, healthy breakfast (though I can’t say this has ever made much of a difference to my overall eating throughout the day. Sometimes I start with two slices of fresh white bread with butter and jam, yet end up having a really good, balanced N day. Other times I have a poached egg with tomatoes and wholemeal bread, yet end up having a fail day. I don’t think a good breakfast has any magic powers. But having something healthy and light has to be a good thing in itself).

So what is my aim for the holiday? There has to be an aim, or I feel lost, and don’t know how to meet my own needs (not knowing what they are). Well what I’d like to do is free up bandwidth. My head has been jammed with annoyance, frustration and worry. I deal with these emotions by journaling and going for walks.... but it all takes time! And more bandwidth! So here are my ideas.

I want to check in on the boards - that will certainly cheer me up and help me to focus on my health and my eating.

I want to do lots of positive thinking, gratitude, and celebrating my achievements in life. This is quite a nebulous aim, and probably it would be best served by making lists. Otherwise I’ll just forget.

I want to do 14’ of exercise a day. As well as walks etc..

Although I’m on holiday, I want to be more green, eating wise. I’ve got that real ‘snacker’s malaise’ right now.

I have many other, far grander aims, but I realise that in a single week off, I’m unlikely to meet them. It’s just that a week off is such a rare thing for me, and so I find myself wanting to do everything, from transforming my eating and exercise habits, getting my head straight from its anxious and energy-wasting habits, figuring out some goals for my life (which feels a little directionless to be honest), doing some painting and writing, and developing a more positive attitude towards DH’s quirks. Oh, and get more sleep. Ha! If I try to do all this, I will surely ruin my own holiday.

Maybe one focus per day is the key. Today, having a green day would be a very fine focus.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 10:33 am

PS thanks Auto, for your comment above! Glad you enjoyed the conversation. :)

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Mon Aug 19, 2019 3:30 pm

Hi Octavia! How wonderful to have this week to focus on things you really care about! I like your idea of one focus each day.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 4:29 pm

Helloooo! I think our posts must have crossed. Have left a right rambler for you! X

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:23 pm

Oh rats, I’ve just eaten a few pieces of chocolate. FAIL!

We went out to dinner and I had just a main, which I didn’t finish, and a single glass of wine. So far so good. But somehow after this, I was tired and my willpower was non existent. We needed to call in at the supermarket, and oh dear, I suddenly thought I JUST WANT SOME CHOCOLATE! At that moment I didn’t care about my weight. Here on holiday I’m just one of the many cuddly mums waddling down the pavements of the seaside towns with their offspring. What difference does it make, how big I am? Of course it does make a difference, but that only becomes apparent at certain times, in certain situations. Not here.

I’m making the mistake of trying to motivate myself through weight loss. And minor weight loss isn’t very motivating. Health is the thing. But eating healthily doesn’t always make me feel noticeably better in the short term. So how can I motivate myself in a way that lasts?

When I was calorie counting, I knew that meeting my target would pretty much guarantee weight loss. It was a simple cause and effect; now that was motivating. There was a feeling of making a bargain: I will forgo this treat food in return for weight loss (possibly as soon as tomorrow). Of course, calorie counting has its own downsides, many of them. But the bargain with No S is so much more subtle, delayed and indirect.

Anyway I have no answers right now, but I still have a little bit of healthy intuition regarding eating, so I’m putting the rest of the chocolate away and am brushing my teeth. A small fail is always better than a big fail.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 19, 2019 8:46 pm

...out of curiosity I just did an estimate of how many calories I’ve eaten today. I know it was just a guess, but it came to under 1500! Even if I’ve underestimated, I reckon I’ve had a very moderate day.
So what did I do to achieve this? I had a small breakfast, I didn’t snack till this evening’s fail, and I didn’t eat everything on my plates (at lunch and dinner) - I stopped when I was full. These things are fairly willpower-free for me, so maybe I need to focus on them, and not worry so much about things like my chocolate fail.

Had I not done this calorie calculation, I might have been very WTH and concluded ‘I clearly can’t do this.’ This is the trouble with failing at a system - after a while you think the system is simply not viable. I wonder if I’d be better off calorie counting while attempting to stick to the basic 3 meals framework. That way a fail is just calories, not invalidation.

Though of course, any fail weakens the willpower! Fails create habits! Fail today, fail tomorrow! and so on....

I need a system that works with really weak willpower.... :lol: :roll:

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Candace » Tue Aug 20, 2019 12:41 am

Hi Octavia! Great to "see" you again.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Aug 20, 2019 9:07 am

Thanks, Candace! Great to be back.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:24 am

I hear ya on the weight loss not being a great motivator. The scale is just too darn finicky for us to really have much control over that number. What we can control is creating habits that bring more joy and sanity to our lives. At this point I want a healthy relationship with food more than i want to be a certain number on the scale but boy did it take me a long time to get there. Whether Ill stay there or spiral back into diet culture mindset, I cant say for sure. The lure of thinness is pretty powerful in our society. What I do know is that if I’m eating in a reasonable and moderate way, i have no reason to feel badly about my weight no matter what it is.

Anyway so happy to see you posting again!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Aug 26, 2019 5:21 pm

Thanks Linda! I wasn’t able to post much last week as the internet connection was bad.

Not eating too brilliantly at present, but not exactly doing badly, and I’ve been focusing on strengthening myself emotionally. I seem to be galloping though self help articles and journaling like a fiend! The article posted recently by simmstone on the General Discussion board has given me lots of food for thought. I wonder if I feel too much shame and negativity about myself to really look after my body. That article focuses on how we use excess food to numb ourselves - something I haven’t focussed on much, on my No S Journey. I’ve always thought it was a simple case of habit and pleasure. But maybe there is some deeper self-disgust/shame that prevents me from really cherishing my physical self.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Mon Aug 26, 2019 7:46 pm

Galloping through self-help articles! ha! That is SOOOO me! :-)

And I absolutely believe that over-eating and over-drinking can be just two different methods to serve the same purpose - numbing out emotions.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Aug 27, 2019 9:42 am

Definitely. I often eat when I get a feeling of not knowing what to do next. Or I do know, but don’t want to do it. Beneath those angsty feelings are probably deeper feelings, neurotic blocks. But it’s not always like that: last night I was just congratulating myself for enjoying a spartan but therapeutic herbal tea in the evening, when DH got a beer and crisps out of the cupboard. Yum! Suddenly I was hungry and couldn’t face up to the suffering of going without. I had a small pack of crisps, a piece of fudge and a mini Magnum ice cream. Then had terrible flatulence all night. :oops: A simple fail. But reinforced by a loss of self-regarding ‘backbone’.

But although I seem to be letting No S drift out of my grasp, I realise that the basic routine still helps me. It certainly cuts down on gastric disturbance for me (sweets and snacks irritate my gut), and even basic Vanilla encourages that long ‘fasting’ period between dinner and breakfast, which is supposedly healthy. Going for long periods without food in the morning or afternoon is a bit more dubious for me, though I mostly manage it, in fact I’d say the habit is still there. But my resistance to random temptation has really declined, and I feel unwilling to force myself to be strict. I definitely need to up-level my motivation. Even the gastric considerations don’t always motivate, as my snacking voice tells me to stop being such a snowflake and throw caution to the wind! (WIND!!!!Hahahahaha). That snack-advocating voice is definitely in denial about the suffering her eating will cause.

I am trying out a new self-tan: Minetan ‘dark ash’. I’m blonde-ish but thought this might be good on me, as I suspect that most self-tanner formulas are getting weaker, to force us to use more. In line with that theory, this dark ash, Brazilian-inspired foam has turned me an average gold shade. Not much better than my usual cheap stuff from Superdrug! Bah! I have to say, the fake tan makes me look slimmer: and anything vaguely good for the morale is helpful, even though it seems like a crude trick.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Aug 27, 2019 11:04 am

...I’ve probably said this before, but I do think that superficial tricks can affect us on a deeper level. I think many of my self-esteem issues stem from points in my childhood when I felt excluded from the community of girls - I didn’t have the skinny body, the long hair, the fashionable nylon clothes. When I was very little, indeed, I did get mistaken for a boy, as my mum cut my hair in a pixie cut and I wore shorts. I think that was OK when I was 5, but less good (and certainly less fashionable) at 8. I felt like a chubby ‘neuter’, although of course I wouldn’t have expressed it that way. I also had body and hair issues in my teens. Now, I feel very empowered when I choose my own clothes and can style myself how I want - it’s a fun creative outlet for me, and a wonderful retribution for the genderlessness and asexuality I felt as a young person. However, I often feel a pull in the other direction: that I should accept myself as I naturally am, without my makeup and hair extensions and stylish outfits. Indeed, what is the point of those things when I’m working from home a lot and no-one will witness them, so they have no social context? So my daily attitude ends to be to dress for comfort and practicality, with a slight nod towards looking half-decent, but not my ‘best’. Then I can see the old me in the mirror...it’s hard to describe my exact reaction, but it’s one of not liking what I see. In my eyes, my natural self is worse than plain, and definitely unattractive. I feel I should overcome this harsh judgement of course, but the years roll by and I never do. And the styled, ‘curated’ me - for all the pleasure, pride and retribution she enjoys - feels like a phoney. So no wonder my old appearance, social status and low self-esteem keep calling me back.

I need to decide who is the real me...and in the meantime, I will crack on with another layer of Minetan! And remind myself of one of my old tenets, that you can tell your dog or cat is unwell when it stops grooming itself.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Tue Aug 27, 2019 5:10 pm

omg we are all so human! It sucks and it is amazing, all at the same time.

Anyway, as far as beautifying yourself goes - I wanted to reply "just do what feels good" - but then I wondered if perhaps what feels good momentarily is actually making you feel not-good longer term. So yeah, I see your dilemma. I don't wear make up, barely fix my hair, and will not be found in anything but comfortable shoes. Very tomboyish still. But I generally don't feel bad about it. Very occasionally, I will find myself thinking that I am wasting my decent looks in that I could have dolled myself up to look better over the years. But seriously, I'd rather read. :mrgreen: :roll: :lol:
I guess we all have to find that damn f***ing balance as a woman.

end note - indeed, my idea of a fashion fantasy is finding a way to wear workout clothes to my job everyday. I will find myself having been staring out the window for 5 minutes as I picture all the cute workout combinations I could come up with for each weekday.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

sharon227
Posts: 292
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by sharon227 » Wed Aug 28, 2019 2:34 am

They're both the real you. If you enjoy how you feel with stylish outfits and makeup and whatever, you don't need someone else to be there to give external validation for the effort. It's great to dress and put yourself together to please yourself. If others like it, fine, but how you feel is most important. Some days you may be in the mood for style, other times you may be in the mood for more natural. Listen to your inner self. If she says she'd feel awesome in a stylish skirt and makeup this morning, do that! If she says that seems like a lot of effort to conform to society's expectations, then don't.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:16 pm

Thanks Auto and Sharon! That’s it in a nutshell. Freedom of choice, and I guess, playing roles, as ‘all the world’s a stage’...different days call for different roles. I’m a painter as a hobby and love playing with colours, textures and shapes. So I will always love dressing up. I think I often resist this side of myself, or keep it suppressed, because I work in a somewhat intellectual environment (when I’m not working from home) and have sometimes had to endure catty comments such as that great classic,‘are you going somewhere afterwards?’!!

Have dressed in casual gear, no makeup today! I’m still in a rather lazy holiday mood. It’s been a green day so far - though I had dinner early and I’m not sure whether I’ll make it through to bed time. We shall see. Weight is up. Can I be bothered to care? Should I just surrender to control pants? Motivation is very elusive right now.

I need to read books on self-discipline - I so need a good daily routine to help me stay productive and active. I spend too much time planning and journaling. I actually read procrastination books in order to put off doing stuff! :lol:

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Aug 29, 2019 6:22 pm

PS Auto, you should do that workout clothes plan. It’s a fab idea! Workout clothes have a deep effect on our subconscious minds, I think, leading to more energetic, vital behaviour! Someone (YOU!) should design a range of workout clothes smart enough to wear in the classroom or office.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Aug 29, 2019 9:30 pm

I had a wonderful feeling tonight, realising that although I’ve been rather uncommitted to No S for a few months, the basic habits are still there without me even trying. In other words, I have owned them, they are truly my own, not an imposition. Realising this has given me a real incentive to carry on. It’s a bit like a savings account, where the longer you maintain it and contribute to it, the more it’s worth. The novelty may have worn off and there may be little gratification at times, but you mustn’t withdraw the investment. As long as my patchy habits are there, surviving, I can strengthen them and create more progress. It would be such a waste to throw them away.

Wondering if it’s worth carrying on with No S has been a real drain on my mental energy. There’s been that doubt in my mind, always wondering if I should try some other approach (though none springs to mind). Doubting and being afraid to commit to a plan is a pattern for me, in the rest of my life, too. It’s a real time and energy waster. I intend to stop doing this!

Anyway, having decided that this is MY true plan, my real personal choice, I jotted down a reminder of my personal No S basics.
- anticipate and enjoy S days. Trying to modify them has weakened my N days.
- use drinks to stave off hunger in afternoons and evenings. I’m more willing to endure hunger in the evening, and can often make do with a herbal tea, but in the afternoon I really don’t like that empty, weak, distracted feeling. In my successful, early days I drank kefir or even cuppa soup. I’ve lost that habit - probably due to a barely-conscious premature mod.
- For motivation: firstly, forget weight loss and focus on maintaining my current shape and size which I need to appreciate more. Then focus on the increased enjoyment of meals (actively anticipate them). And last but not least, focus on the pointlessness of treat food snacks, how they leave one empty, craving more, and inert - unable to figure out what’s really needed in that moment.
- a useful affirmation in response to temptation: ‘having that treat would be pointless, and I’ll be happier if I stick to my plan.’

I’ve realised I don’t need to think any more about No S, I just need to do it! It’s my normal routine, something I can do without thinking. I just need a bit more cognitive effort in overcoming unexpected temptation - hence I need to remember my motivation and use my affirmation.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:38 am

Wow, very inspiring post, Octavia.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

honey
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue May 10, 2011 12:54 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by honey » Fri Aug 30, 2019 7:35 am

That was great to read Octavia, very inspiring!

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Aug 30, 2019 8:40 am

Thanks, Auto and Honey! :)

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Candace » Fri Aug 30, 2019 10:57 pm

Wow, this is great.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Aug 30, 2019 11:17 pm

Thanks Candace!

Hey, I’m ahead of you now.... I turned 54 this month! 8) :)

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:20 am

Oh dear, it’s been a bad week on No S. Despite feeling very committed and good about it last weekend, I have failed almost every day. I think this is because I expect the habitual element to see me through, as it has done for a long time, but the bad habits have gained too much strength. Not sure what to do about this. Making a special effort to control myself just feels like ‘being on a diet’.

I’m very tired of using willpower to control my eating, and feel like I could do with saving it for something else. Maybe I’m tired of quantities/postponing etc. being an issue. I’d be better off using my energy to shop better, cook better, exercise better. Of course those things are a part of No S, but I don’t seem to have graduated from simply trying to stop myself eating sweets and snacks.

I feel very doubtful of my ability to form any lasting new habits, to be honest. Last week I wanted to start getting up early and get lots of good things done - (work, creativity, exercise, better grooming, better cooking) - I lasted three days before I was tired out and convinced the whole plan was insane.

I will rally and get my head round all this. I’m in a tense limbo at work, which is probably weighing on me more heavily than I realise, sensitive flower that I am. I have a great urge to design my own No S, but we all know where that leads. Planning is such fun, a very dopamine-stimulating thing to do, but these diet plans rarely stick. But I feel I need to look at my eating habits, work out what’s good, and try to increase that; then look at what’s bad, and try to decrease that. So just very small, moderate changes, very personal to me. (Though I’d be making small changes to basically addictive behaviours, so probably doomed to failure!)

My stupid iPad charger is not working and I’m about to lose power, so had better save this before it all goes.

Here’s to a good week for us all!

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Sep 09, 2019 1:13 pm

Ha! The lead wasn’t plugged in! :lol:

I’ve been for a little run - the first of the season, as the weather has cooled down now, and I’m planning to replace my walks with runs, or rather, jog-walks, which is what I do. I didn’t push myself too hard, as I like it to stay reasonably enjoyable, but I did do two little runs of about 5’ each, including hills, plus 25’ of walking. Legs felt like jelly after the hills! But I did feel better in spirit. And very aware of my habit of negative thinking. I challenged myself to stay in a neutral frame of mind during my run, which I mostly did, noticing how imaginary conversations enter my head, with various experts telling me I’m walking too slowly or should run for longer periods. At one point I imagined telling my friend who is now a marathon runner how I managed a good ten minutes, isn’t that great??? Dear me, the negativity that fills my head. But I was slightly detached from it as well, observing, and realising how I depress myself, and how it must stop. I need to have faith in my own decisions - this is how I’m doing it - and to respect myself for my efforts, not to always imagine more knowledgeable people shaking their heads in dismay.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:31 pm

Octavia! I prefer to call them "walk-jogs" -- haha!

I've always thought of you as a sort of "mini-oolala" with your insightful thinking. And of course I've also thought of you as Bridget Jones with your wit, charm, honesty, and determination to fit into sexy skirts. You are quite the person. Awesome person. You make me laugh and often say things in just the way that I'm like - "yes! THAT is the human experience!" And definitely lately you've been more down on yourself and more in a dark place than I've personally seen since we've been "friends". Serious squeezey hug coming your way. Do you think this sort of bummer spiral has just continued since the accident? Is there space in your life for you to go to a therapist? I just love going to my therapist. :-) Or - how about this - go to a weekend spiritual conference where everyone is comfortable naked and orgies are not out of the question. What can I say, I've been listening to Esther Perel lately. Truly, a sex-filled getaway with your hubby might be in order. Um, perhaps I'm projecting. :mrgreen:

But seriously, at this point, your NoS habits and other life change stuff is just a symptom of you feeling rotten. Once you start to feel better, you'll make better progress on these other steps. Of course, making a little progress can help us feel better and then make more progress, so I guess it is a cycle. But please, in all of this, be gentle with your marvelous self. I think the world is so enhanced by Octavia, with all her complicated and beautiful musings.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Sep 09, 2019 11:26 pm

It’s my bedtime, but just wanted to say thanks for your incredible kindness, Auto. And I so appreciate those hugs. Yes, things have felt difficult since I had that accident. There have been a few things to deal with and my coping muscle is tired. I’m living too much in my head. But tomorrow is another day! Will report back soon. Hope all is well with you. Night night! :)

Dalia negra
Posts: 276
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2018 10:48 am
Location: Barcelona (Spain)

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Dalia negra » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:20 pm

Girls, I just wanted to say that you are lovely :)

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:56 pm

Dalia! It’s so good to hear from you. Hope you are well. x

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:46 pm

I’ve had a good few days. I seem to have been focussing on the idea of eating for energy, and tuning into what my body needs...keeping tabs on how much fruit and veg I’ve eaten throughout the day, how much protein I’ve had, how much water and so on. Without particularly trying to block my unhealthy habits, I’ve made sure I keep myself bolstered with energy. So my fixation with treat foods has magically diminished. I haven been perfectly green - it’s as if I have a new, single meta-guideline, which is simply, ‘don’t be an idiot’ - the one No S tenet that I was never able to take on board, while I was trying to stay strictly green. I have enjoyed feeling more energetic and satisfied, so there has been positive feedback/reinforcement already. And, perhaps significantly, I haven’t cared a jot about weight loss. I’ve more or less decided that my body is how it is, and I just need to really look after it.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:47 pm

This is so excellent! What a refreshing post! Go Octavia!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Sep 19, 2019 4:41 pm

Fantastic stuff! Sounds like you’re in a really great place & able to let go of some perfectionist thinking.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

sharon227
Posts: 292
Joined: Fri May 18, 2018 12:13 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by sharon227 » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:37 am

Nothing more important than your health! I'm still trying to fully grasp what my doctor (who recommended NoS) told me: Eating healthy isn't depriving myself, it's being kind to myself. I think if we pay attention to how our bodies feel after we eat, and we eat to feel great, a lot of other things take care of themselves. Especially with the habits created by the NoS simple rules.

Best wishes as you eat to take good care of your body and yourself.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Sep 28, 2019 3:40 pm

Thank you all. I’ve overeaten a little this week, but still feeling a determination to look after myself better. Work has been stressful, with lots of changes, and I have a cold, but these things are just reminding me that I want to prioritise health and energy. I don’t think my three meals a day have been nutritious enough to give me the energy I need. I definitely need more fruit, veg and protein.

So, I’ve started being very lax with the No S rules, and wondering if I need to come up with a more personalised plan. Something Kayla (the Six Miles to Supper lady) said has got me thinking - she noticed that all the diet gurus make their own plans, so maybe that’s what she needed to do. Even Reinhardt made his own plan! I’m thinking about my strengths and weaknesses, my lifestyle, and wondering how I could use this awareness to form a plan of my own. eg. I am good at fasting in the evenings, but not in the afternoons. I’m good at having moderate portions, but bad at resisting sweets. I like exercise but can’t find time. I love healthy foods but fall back on quick ready meals. I have a balance of healthy tendencies and unhealthy - I just need to tip the balance towards the healthy! But failing at a regime naturally affects my morale, and that tips the scales towards unhealthy behaviours. I want to keep my morale and energy up, tweak my eating to point it towards having less at those times when I don’t need energy. I think energy and morale are good guidelines!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sat Sep 28, 2019 4:09 pm

I love this approach. I think it is what I have done, actually. I have my own rhythm and it works for me. Everyone needs to find what works for them and is sustainable. We must be willing to experiment, experiment, and experiment some more (which is exactly what you are doing!). :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Sep 28, 2019 6:10 pm

Thanks Auto - yes, experimentation without giving up, without having tantrums, knowing that eating optimally in our society is difficult...we have to just keep trying different ways. I’ve just had a phase of splurging on chocolate, but I don’t want to continue doing this. I think I let myself get too hungry and/or too depleted. The reasons for this were things like being out and unable to eat properly, travelling and so on. Lifestyle seems to trump everything. When I was new on No S I would tie myself in knots sticking to the system when life became complicated, but I don’t seem to have the heart for it now. Anyway, I’m doing some thinking. I’ll need to weigh myself soon, too - haven’t bothered for ages! Oh dear.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Sep 28, 2019 6:19 pm

...I think the important thing for me right now is to recognise that I needed to have a couple of weeks of extra calories, but that doesn’t mean this is a permanent state of affairs and that all discipline must be rejected!

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Sep 29, 2019 2:45 pm

It’s such a struggle finding what works isn’t it? I really like Kayla but her plan doesn't work for me at all. Clean fasting works better for me and I could never understand the whole omad thing. Where does one meal start and end? I do much better with an eating window. I also do not do well with taking a whole day off once a week as it just really throws me off. But yeah i guess her whole point is we each have to find what works for us.

Are you interested in fasting? Maybe you could do an afternoon window? Anyway I dont really mean to be pushing fasting on you as im certainly aware of the downsides but just wondering if you've come up with some ideas for your personalized plan yet?

Hope you keep posting!

Linda 💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:40 am

Thanks, Linda! I have had a bit of time off the boards, thinking about a personalised plan for myself, but generally having no willpower to carry anything out! I’ve had a cold, so it’s just been a case of fighting to get through a tough work week. But it’s interesting you mention fasting, because I have been thinking about embracing it in a more positive way, to tie in with what seems to be a potential strength of mine, to have a long fast between dinner and breakfast the next day. If I just made that a little more formal and intentional, cut out that occasional glass of milk - I think that would be a good way forward for me, that might help keep my weight down. It I do sometimes wonder if I could do without breakfast too. Not every day, but sometimes, if my appetite is low.

But to be honest, my motivation to do anything at all has been very wobbly. Sometimes I think, hey, I’m always going to be roughly this shape and size so why not just relax and enjoy myself? Forget this dieting lark. I haven’t read the No S book for a while, but I feel I need some psychological inspiration right now, stuff that’s perhaps not part of the plan. I know Reinhard is good at the psychological benefits of having NO snacks versus a healthy snack, or 14’ exercise versus trying to do 50’, but does he provide the real, meta-motivation, for those moments of ‘why am I even doing this?’? He probably does, but I’ve forgotten. Anyway, I stumbled upon a book by Fiona Ferris, a New Zealand-based writer and blogger who has a series of books on ‘chic’ ways of doing things. Quite light and fluffy, and yet I like her writing a lot. She’s no scientific researcher or psychologist, but I recognise in her a deeply introspective soul who looks inside for answers and uses the power of her own imagination to make life better. I somehow feel I would like to be her friend! I also suspect she is a similar size to me, with similar eating challenges - ie. she eats small healthy meals, but also has terrible child-like habits of scoffing piles of chocolate. Well her book ‘Thirty Slim Days’ is divided into 30 small chapters or ‘days’ where she offers different ways of tweaking one’s mental attitude towards the goal of being liberated from addictive eating. And she is totally No S compatible, without showing evidence of having read the book! She encourages you to try no snacking and no sweets - though she doesn’t have S days or cheat days as far as I can see. That’s basically the entirety of her actual diet advice, but the bulk of the book is about changing one’s mindset. Anyway I think it’s a lovely, woman-written companion to a Reinhard’s book.

I do think there are many particular inner conflicts that women must deal with, not least the whole idea of whether dieting is in line with feminism. I’ve heard it said that dieting has been a great sedative which has kept women down for the last century...rather like Methodism subdued the British working classes in the 18th century and prevented a revolution here, akin to the French - Methodism taught good Christian folk to accept their place in life. Does dieting do the same for us? We are fed images of thin models, so we diet, then they feed us processed food which we can’t resist, so we eat...then diet...and are dismayed and distracted by our own weakness. Anyway, No S to me is more about liberation from those extremes: being subjugated by unrealistic ideas of thinness AND subjugated by unhealthy processed food. But of course, it doesn’t always feel liberating to be wilting from hunger in between meals. I’m hardly going to set fire to the world while I’m slumped on the sofa watching the clock slowly tick round to dinner time.

Anyway, for me, no good ever came from trying to be a strong, tough, world-changing fighter. Trying to be true to who I truly am is a better challenge. So I’m continuing with Fiona Ferris’s light and fluffy book, and her first task, which is to come up with a strong vision of how I see my life, living at a lighter weight. It’s not highly original stuff but I can’t say I’ve ever bothered to do this, so I will. The big difference is that the slim, future me takes a real interest in food, cooking and planning. The current me works all day, and then realises there is nothing for dinner, and if there is, DD and DH are mysteriously unavailable to eat it, because they have classes and commitments and need to eat very quickly at 4.50 pm and 9pm respectively. Cue the pizzas.... :lol:
Yes, how do I deal with the unpredictability of family eating needs? I can’t imagine cooking a beautiful healthy piece of fish for myself while coping with all the manic driving around to classes and stuff, and DH coming in late. I said before, lifestyle trumps everything. HOWEVER, I am not giving up. I need to think about this and figure out a solution, because it is pretty fundamental to leading a slimmer, healthier life.

I had a nice surprise this morning, and Auto will be very proud of me: I dared to step on the scales after a few weeks of avoidance and ‘feed-on-demand’. Hurrah, weight has stayed stable, barely a pound higher than my lowest No S weight! Actually, this doesn’t make any sense at all, and I wonder if the scales are broken. I did try them twice though....

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Oct 03, 2019 8:37 pm

Felt really good this morning about the weight. But the frustrations of the day have gradually mounted, ending up in two lapses despite my earlier high morale and motivation. Work - didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped. Domestic - had to basically prepare 3 separate dinners and drive DD to her part time job, through the rush hour. Now it’s getting late and I haven’t relaxed properly or done any positive planning for tomorrow. DH is binge watching TV, a sacred activity for him, and I’ve been sucked into watching even though I need to journal and plan. Hence cracking open the biscuit tin. It’s frustration I guess. Not doing what I want to do, not getting done what I need to do. Food soothes those bitter feelings while my body is paralysed on the settee in front of DH’s tv show. Bah.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Oct 04, 2019 3:03 am

Nice news about the scale cooperating. :-)

I had some thoughts when I read your first post and then I think your second post confirmed my line of thinking. Eating healthy is the most feminist thing we can do in that it's kind of selfish. DH does without thinking, DD does without contemplation. Others take care of themselves, moms take care of others. I think that we are often often often derailed from caring for ourselves (sleeping, eating, hobbying) because we are meanwhile thinking about needing to clean, needing to cook healthy food for OTHERS. Notice DH watched TV without feeling guilty that he should be doing laundry. You COULD feed yourself a nice fish if you felt it was worth it to feed yourself as well as you want to feed everyone else. But then of course you'd be tired and still somehow obligated to fix food for others. Such is our lot.

So. There is my feminist gauntlet. And I don't have solutions. I'm kind of in a cynical mood today; I know you'll understand. :roll:
Anyway. I had 3 cookies today.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Oct 04, 2019 8:09 pm

I certainly do understand. I’m in a cynical mood too! I had trouble sleeping last night because I was feeling so trapped, knowing I need to look after myself better but somehow not being able to. I can’t figure it out, as I have just the one child, and my work has a certain flexibility. Thinking about my ‘perfect life’ where I grill fish and enjoy a glass of mineral water before dinner etc. just makes me feel hopeless. But I’m still not feeling well, in fact I feel almost as if I’ve got yet another cold brewing. So I think part of this low mood is simply to do with that - being unwell. Colds do make me depressed. I feel unable to take an interest in anything, and the simplest everyday commitments seem like ordeals. I can’t imagine ever having energy and inspiration again. Ugh.

I suppose part of adult life is having to battle through colds. Work has been manic this past week, and it’s extremely difficult to take time off for one reason or another. I still feel as if I should have a parent to take care of me.

How do we look after ourselves? This is the question. There always seems to be a reason to postpone self-care. I want to solve this problem.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Dec 05, 2019 9:35 pm

Phew - I can’t believe it’s been two months since I checked in! In that time, things have shifted in a few ways. I’m still not sure of my way forward, as my willpower seems to have dwindled to nothing, and yet it’s not all bad.

Work is more settled and I’ve got used to the recent changes. I was very down for a time, but this has passed and my mood is better. During the weeks when I was struggling, I decided to put No S to one side and eat more freely. It helped, and I felt better, warmer and stronger inside.

Well now my crisis has passed and my morale is higher, my inner sense of balance is telling me I don’t need that extra fuel. I’ve started to feel I’m eating gratuitously, out of habit: not loving my treats but not able to stop. You all know the routine. So it’s time to impose some order. I’ve already managed to start a more regular exercising habit, sticking strictly to a short duration. I haven’t weighed myself for a while but will do so soon.

But I’m not sure whether I will return to Vanilla No S. I can’t imagine ever finding the willpower for it again! Firstly, my motivation has become very unclear. I’d love to lose weight, but the minute I set that intention, a subtle tension begins that compels me to rebel. On the other hand, not caring about my weight translates to my primitive animal brain as ‘feed on demand ‘! It’s a tricky one! I wonder if there’s some genius bit of reverse-psychology that I can use on myself. I suppose Intuitive Eaters would say that the best way is to eat what one’s body seems to want. Let the body be the authority. But although I do eat that way quite a lot of the time, my appetite is still corrupted by my environment and eating history. It’s hard to know how to intervene. Surely there must be some sort of keyhole brain surgery to deal with this...

Lizzy6
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2016 8:22 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Lizzy6 » Fri Dec 06, 2019 12:14 am

I have experienced that before. When I say I will never eat XYZ again, I start wanting it more. When I tell myself that nothing is off limits, I suddenly don't have strong urges for that particular food. It does seem weird, but it so real.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 01, 2020 5:37 pm

Back after a long break - hoping everyone is well, coping, managing to keep a sense of humour...I have been thinking about you all and wondering how you are. I would have checked in earlier, but as the demands of social media have grown, I’ve actually developed pains in my hands from typing, tapping and clicking! :roll: The world seems to have gone message-mad - I worked out that messages come to me through 8 different platforms: Twitter, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, Text, 2 email accounts, voicemail, and Facebook posts themselves! Even now there’s someone who wants me to do something for them on FB Messenger, sending cheesy wavey hand icons because I haven’t replied.

But I digress.

As I wrote last December, my willpower dwindled to nothing, and I felt unable to follow any sort of regime. I finally felt I had nothing left to add to the debate - nothing to say, nothing to contribute. I just muddled along, gradually putting the weight back on that I’d lost on No S.

However, a few days ago I read a book which made me feel I could galvanise myself again. It’s How to retrain your appetite, by Dr Helen McCarthy. It sounds like just another intuitive eating book, and it is in a way, but there’s some content on digestion and hunger signals that made a penny drop for me. Ive learned that the first hunger pang I experience is a signal that the previous meal has been digested and that in a little while the body will switch to burning its fat stores. So that’s very positive. The hunger will go away for half an hour or so while that process takes place. Then the second hunger pang will come. The same thing happens: it goes away. Round about the third hunger pang, you probably should eat. For me, this is a fresh and helpful take on the tired old lists rating one’s hunger as a ‘10’ or a ‘5’ or whatever. Knowing that the first hunger pangs represent positive stuff going on in my body (other healthy things, not just fat burning) is what makes the difference to me. I found hunger very difficult to tolerate before, because I thought it was a signal telling me to eat. Now I will happily get to what Dr H calls a ‘-3’ before reaching for sustenance (either a calorific drink, or the next meal).

This could be scientifically suspect (the idea of starting to burn fat when one becomes hungry) - but I have indeed found that I get three waves of hunger before I really need to eat, and the first two really do go away.

The moral of this story is not to entirely give up reading diet books....!!!

I had a few weeks of success reading Dr Glenn Livingston’s Never Binge Again books, which are hilarious and radical. You name your addictive appetite ‘The Pig’, and ruthlessly detach from its ‘squeals’. And he is very clever at addressing the multitude of subtle squeals which lead one back to one’s food nemesis. The only drawback is that YOU must decide on your personal diet rules, and I decided I wanted to ban chocolate completely except for really special days. I thought, well I’ve caged the Pig - ie. learned to detach from cravings - so I might as well go the whole hog :lol: :lol: and ban stodge completely! But although I had learned skills of detachment, they were not strong enough. I caved in. It’s an important skill, but it’s not the whole picture. I needed moderation and pleasure too.

So I’m basically No S-ing again, but with a few new skills up my sleeve and, I think, fresh motivation.

That’s all for now. But I’m looking forward to checking in regularly again, and maybe starting the old Habitcal!

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:50 pm

HI Octavia! I actually read the how to retrain your appetite book as well recently and just yesterday I finished re reading it again. It is REALLY good, isn't it? You do a great job explaining the hunger pang thing, I found that a little confusing in the book. I think the appetite pendulum gets me sometimes that she describes in the book. It is easier just to be aware of hunger pangs. That is what I try to do as well. It fits really well into No S, I think she even mentions trying to set up a routine of regular meals and mealtimes.

Glad to see you back!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jul 01, 2020 6:51 pm

Super big cross-the-ocean hugs coming your lovely way, Octavia! :mrgreen:
The moral of this story is not to entirely give up reading diet books....!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol:

I've missed you!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:55 pm

Warmest hugs to you too, Auto and Pink Hippie! I have really missed my No S friends, and it’s lovely to be back.

I was interested to see that you also read Dr Helen’s book, Pinkhippie. It’s certainly not a perfect book, is it - I’ve found a few mistakes and confusing things - but there is lots of new, valuable material in it. One thing I found confusing was her approach to ‘addictive’ foods. At one point she advises incorporating our favourite non-healthy foods into our diet, saying that as long as we’re hungry and are eating what we genuinely want, we will soon feel satisfied. Yet she also admits that some foods are designed to never satisfy. There’s a bit of contradiction going on there, though fortunately No S gives us clear boundaries in that respect and doesn’t expect us to manage our nemesis foods intuitively. And I agree with Dr Glenn and his ‘inner pig’ theory - to the inner pig, an amber light is a green light.

I’m so happy to have found my way back to No S, with the help of these two writers. It’s difficult observing oneself going downhill weight-wise but not being able to do anything about it, except become more and more ‘body positive’: ‘I’M FINE AS I AM! I LOOK GREAT!’ Yes, I’ve even read a couple of body positivity books since the lockdown...ones that are absolutely adamant that any kind of dieting is the devil’s work. If there’s one thing missing in the work of Dr Helen and Dr Glenn, it’s a political angle - confronting the thorny issue of whether we dieters are victims of society’s pressure and should we be trying to lose weight in the first place. Historically I have often been tripped up by that. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been slightly too fat for most of my life, and have learned to look at my body with acceptance and gratitude. This makes me ambivalent about slimming. Dr Helen has a good chapter about ambivalence, though she doesn’t go into my sort of ambivalence.

I’ve managed to get really good exercise habits going since the lockdown, though: I started doing those mini walking workouts by Leslie Sansone. They’re 15 minutes or so, and I often do two or three throughout the day, plus a longer walk outside. It’s been really interesting to observe how my response to exercise is never what ‘they’ say! At first, I sometimes felt quite tired and out of sorts after 15 mins of non-stop brisk walking. I did not feel as great as one is supposed to. And it took WEEKS before I could face doing 2 videos back to back. Also, the feeling of achievement was a novelty which soon wore off. But somehow I was able to observe these things, ignore them, and just keep going. I feel I learned some valuable lessons here. You have to keep going even when it’s boring. Don’t uplevel too soon. It all takes longer than you think. Consistency is more important than improvement. It’s so humbling!

Anyway I am now terrified of weighing myself because for the first time in my life I really do suspect that I have put on some muscle weight! My arms and legs are more toned. However, due to my ‘feed on demand’ habit, I ‘m sure I have also gained a fair bit of fat. Too scared to face the scales. If I get a nasty shock it could really upset and derail me. I need to get a few good weeks under my belt first.

Must get off to bed now! Looking forward to catching up with more of my old No S friends tomorrow. :)

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Jul 01, 2020 10:59 pm

I forgot to tell you that I have read Dr Glenn Livingstons book as well. I seem to have gotten over the bingeing thing(knock on wood) so I don't remember as much about that, but who could forget the pig part! :D

I realized when you talk about the addictive foods and such from Dr. Helens book that I automatically tune out food recommendations when I read any kind of eating or diet book! I vaguely remember her talking about that, I took it to mean that if you eat when you are hungry, your body wants "real" food most of the time. I think for me with legalizing all foods when I jumped headfirst into IE, I typically do want more "real" food when I am hungry, but back in the day before I did that when I was hungry, I wanted nothing but processed foods. So... I don't know. I think No S is a great way to help manage that as well, like you said.

I also understand and agree with what you are saying about the political angle and whether we( especially we as women) are pressured to lose weight.

That is great that you are doing the mini walking! I totally agree that consistency is more important than improvement! It took me( I am still working on) a long time to realize that, but I think it's so true, especially with exercise.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Jul 02, 2020 11:05 pm

Hi Pinkhippie, I found that bit interesting too, what Dr Helen says about the way we’re more likely to choose junk food if we’re not hungry and healthy food if we are. I really must read her book again, and Dr Glenn’s. I often find that I quickly forget a lot of good content...I wish I could retain it all better. But I think the main thing I’ve taken away from her work is the benefit/significance of experiencing hunger. Previously I thought it was a nuisance and failure of planning if I got hungry before my mealtime, as hunger was clearly a signal to eat. Now I feel more inclined to postpone meals so I can experience hunger for a while, in my new belief that I am burning fat in those periods. (I so hope it’s true and not a load of quackery... :lol:) To be honest, without this positive approach to hunger, I don’t think I ever had much of a chance on any sort of diet. So this is a really big step forward for me. (Of course I’d read many times that one should be prepared to experience hunger on a diet, but I’d never read about the positive things that were taking place during those times. I just thought my body was suffering and protesting against the calorie deficit.)

I actually dared to weigh myself this morning, and it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t put back all the weight I lost on No S! Miracle! I have put back most of it though...I seem to recall that I lost 10lb (I was about 10lb overweight, I’d say) and I’ve put back 8. Anyway, I can monitor things from now on. I was eating so much chocolate, and other random snacks before, that I really do hope I drop a few pounds before too long. It’s interesting and gratifying though how I feel smaller already, because I’m eating moderately and not getting all bloated. And my morale is higher because I don’t feel I’m hurting (or is the word ‘degrading’?) myself uncontrollably.

Off now to do Habitcal!

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:26 pm

Weight the same this morning.

Am struggling with back pain at the moment. I think it’s partly because of my habit of sleeping on my front - am trying to change that, and using pillows and cushions to alter the angle of my back - but I’m sure it’s been exacerbated by lifting heavy shopping bags since the lockdown when I’ve bought more in one go. Some days I think it’s getting better, then it all starts off again, nothing horrendous but just a feeling of tension and soreness, as if I’ve been gardening or something. All my favourite hobbies spark it off - reading , sewing, writing, doing anything while sitting in bed. Walking eases it. I finally rang the doc this morning and have been offered a phone call appointment next Friday. The idea of a phone call appointment is a real downer, as it’s not that easy to explain the problem. Also I find it harder to communicate on the phone...the other person’s voice always seems too quiet!

I need to do some work, which will mean sitting at the computer, which will be bad for my back. I’d rather go on a walk!

Have just had a refreshing salad sandwich for lunch. It probably won’t keep me going very long, with the absence of protein. But never mind, am planning salmon for dinner.

As I was writing on Auto’s check in, I’ve decided to do some vanity things, as I’ve been feeling really old and ugly. The back thing has led me to avoid skinny jeans and go for baggy elasticated waist trousers - trendy ones that would look great on a young, thin person - and I’ve started to go bra-less in case my regular underwired harnesses are contributing to the back ache - esp my sturdy sports bra. So I resemble an old bag woman shuffling round the house, trailing the wires of a TENS machine. So...I’ve tinted my eyelashes blue black, and have darkened my eyebrows a bit, and have put on a nice dress. I do feel a lot better now, like I still have a place in society!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:47 pm

Nice job to do what you needed to feel better about yourself!

I really hope your doctor can give you some good suggestions for your back. I have a pull-up bar and I often use it for just hanging and that seems to help the muscles put them back in the right spots. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:50 pm

Tonight I thought it was time I put my skinny jeans on again. Haven’t worn them in months. They are uncomfortably tight, but then they always were. I think I’m going to steer clear of those baggy trousers. I might send them to a charity shop. If I need to wear something really comfortable it will have to be leggings with a long top, or the black sundress I wore today.

I did 3 of the 15 minute Leslie Sansone workouts today plus a bit of toning. And have stuck to the vanilla routine.

Hey - has anyone seen the fantastic ‘Men’s Mile with Nick’??? Google it! Nick is a Leslie Sansone walk leader, and he does a little workout for normal men, not gym bunnies! The dudes in his video are absolutely adorable!* And it’s a great workout...

*By asserting that out-of-shape men are really attractive, am I undermining my own motivation to lose weight? Arghhh! One is only ever two thoughts away from an existential crisis!

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jul 03, 2020 8:53 pm

Thanks auto for the back suggestion- I’ve often felt I could do with a bar to dangle from! DD has a ballet bar so I could kneel down and try dangling from that, though it’s probably still not high enough. Interesting to hear that it works for you.

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Jul 04, 2020 8:10 pm

Octavia, yes its nice to think of hunger as burning fat. I have read that in a few different places. My problem is I seem to veer from one extreme to the other of hunger. I either can barely handle a little bit of hunger and think I need to eat, or I let myself get ravenous and don't honor my hunger at all.
Another reason I love No S, it keeps me moderate.

Sorry about your back. It does sound good to hang from a bar. I have a chronic neck issue so I sort of know what you are going through. I hope it improves!

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jul 04, 2020 10:07 pm

Oh I really like Leslie Sansone ! I think beauty comes in all sizes & nothing wrong with thinking anyone’s adorable! The trick is feeling you’re adorable too! 😊
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Jul 05, 2020 11:45 am

Wise words, Linda.
Pinkhippie, thanks for the sympathy - hope your neck issue gets better. It’s just so darn distracting, isn’t it? Sometimes can’t settle to do anything. Having said that, today my back is fine...touch wood!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jul 05, 2020 3:35 pm

The trick is feeling you’re adorable too!
Love this!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

Jen1974
Posts: 648
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:49 pm
Location: Colorado

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Jen1974 » Sun Jul 05, 2020 4:48 pm

pinkhippie wrote:
Sat Jul 04, 2020 8:10 pm
Octavia, yes its nice to think of hunger as burning fat. I have read that in a few different places. My problem is I seem to veer from one extreme to the other of hunger. I either can barely handle a little bit of hunger and think I need to eat, or I let myself get ravenous and don't honor my hunger at all.
Another reason I love No S, it keeps me moderate.

Sorry about your back. It does sound good to hang from a bar. I have a chronic neck issue so I sort of know what you are going through. I hope it improves!
This is me with hunger too!! Either jumping the gun or waiting too long which for me always leads to more food than I need!!

Octavia, that thing you wrote about the third hunger being the real one has actually really helped me. So many times I get to the first hunger & am excited to eat & jump the gun, but it really is the second or third hunger that is the real hunger where food tastes so much better!!

oolala53
Posts: 10059
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by oolala53 » Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:59 pm

I cannot wait for hunger 3. It would take most of the day. But had never thought hunger was inherently bad. And most of my overeating has been done when not hungry, in fact, within three hours of the last meal. I won't say I was attracted only to wholesome food when I was hungry, but 1) though cookie dough and brownie batter were my drugs of choice, I never wanted them when I was really starved. But I did still want starchy, refined carbs, namely all the ones made from wheat flour. Those were milder binge foods, but they need grappling with for me. I"m STILL working that one out. But it's really a baby bronco now.

Sorry to tell you that unless you've been keto-ing or doing consistent long fasts at deficit, you are not likely burning STORED fat (or even fat) at the first wave of hunger. But the good news is, your body will take the next step in that process and pull out the fat percursors, which are stored carbs.(They are bound up with water; that's why people lose so much water weight when they cut their eating.) It is not just torture at all! It's USEFUL to get hungry. So it is still good stuff! Most bodies can't get to the stored fat without this step, and even the exceptions have to burn through dietary fat before burning stored fat. I think when you are eating little enough, the body gets faster at making the switch from stored glucose to stored fat so the hunger cycle can go faster and be more tolerable. The body is like, oh, I see, nothing more is likely coming in just like those other times so I'm not going to wait to get the reserves out sooner. The longevity experts I know of- and I'm not going to make it an exhaustive pursuit, because I'm fine with their take- think the body is MADE for switching use of fuels. It can take a long time for the problems of total dependence on either one to show up. We see what happens to a society when we rarely get to fat burning! We have no widespread evidence for 70+ years of the opposite. Let's use No S or our own mod to keep us from having to pay any more of a price.

In any case, hunger takes a long, long, time before it can wreak any true damage. But grappling with it mentally can sure bruise the ego! That's why Reinhard has said this is all mostly a psychological game. At the same time, asking ourselves to suffer can legitimately have its limits. I think most of us think, yeah, I'm willing to suffer- until we really have to. Not just once or twice, but maybe more days than we anticipated! Certainly a woman who had been mildly obese most of her life rather than for only the last several years of a few decades of overweight (I'm the second one) would very likely be wrestling bigger demons than I am to maintain. I would not be willing to tolerate what the body's refeed drive would be for me to try to live at a much lower weight, which would be analogous to that previously obese woman. Even some-many, actually- of the successful gurus on the web give me the impression that if they weren't involved in promoting the life, were left to their own devices with no admiration for what they're doing, would likely devolve after a few years. Not trying to knock them; just defending the idea that everyone has to decide what her carefree/careful tolerance level is.

I was going to write that I'm actually toying with taking Livingston's course, but I'm going to stop bogarting and move it to my thread after a break.

Here's some fairy dust for you! (Don't be jealous, I think I'm going start giving this out regularly. :)
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Jul 06, 2020 3:05 pm

Octavia I am glad to hear that your back is better! I agree Jen on the third hunger, first hunger is definitely too soon for me to really feel like I am hungry enough to really enjoy the meal.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Jul 06, 2020 9:12 pm

Hi all,
Hope the week has got off to a good start. Jen, I was just the same before - always feeling that the first sign of hunger was a sign that I should eat! But now my view of it has really changed. I really want to learn to have hunger as a companion.

Hey Oolala, it’s so great to hear from you! :) Hope you’re well, and do let me know if you take a course with Dr Livingston! I like his approach and his humour. I’m really grateful for all that info you gave on how the body burns its supplies. Yes, good things are happening even though the idea of one’s fat starting to melt away is clearly a tad optimistic. In the old days pre-No S, I was constantly topping up with food. It must have been really bad for my digestion as well as metabolism. No S helped of course, but I don’t think I understood the positivity of hunger. I also didn’t understand the insidious nature of my own pro-snacking/treat-eating thoughts, which always sounded like rational arguments. That’s why I started failing, I think.

Partly why I learned to snack a lot was actually to do with anxiety attacks. I read, and was often told, to keep my blood sugar stable and not go too long without eating. Indeed, I would often get very anxious if a meal was delayed, either at a restaurant or someone’s home. But I now wonder if this was more to do with the lack of control, tension and frustration, than hunger per se. it always happened in situations where I didn’t want to be there, where I felt vulnerable, low in status and control. I’m much better at avoiding such situations now. I also used to have functional dyspepsia which made me feel painfully empty a lot. That was probably due to unhappiness and tension. Life is so much better now.

I’ve had a pretty good green day today.

Larkspur
Posts: 438
Joined: Mon Mar 06, 2017 3:30 pm
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Larkspur » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:15 am

I'm glad your back is better!

One of the weight-loss voices is my head is the woman who wrote Lean Habits (sorry, forget her name)-- she recommends feeling hunger 30-45 minutes before a meal. She thinks you have to feel hungry at some point to lose weight and that's the most painless way to do it.

My brain is such a funny compendium of Opinions About Eating, base on 30 years of reading literally everything reputable I could find on weight loss. I don't know what I would weigh if I hadn't read those things-- more, less, exactly the same? I do remember the earnest reminders to eat every 3 hours to keep your metabolism up, avoid getting hungry, keep your blood sugar stable, etc

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Jul 07, 2020 3:18 pm

Hi Larkspur! It's Georgie Fear who wrote Lean Habits. I read that book too... Imagine that. ;) I always think of that too. I think both advices about 3rd hunger or 45 minutes of hunger go well together.

Octavia, I used to eat a lot because of anxiety too. I have discovered that eating less often actually helps my blood sugar stay more stable even though that goes against all the conventional medical advice.

I am glad you had a good green day yesterday!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:16 pm

Life is so much better now.
8)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 08, 2020 5:02 pm

Great support from everyone. Thanks so much. :)

Auto, it truly is good to think how much more control I have over my life now. I was thinking today, why don’t I have that nervous tummy thing so much? Early mornings, sleepless nights (those two were definitely connected), commuting and everyday pressure at work ... all of that has improved. I work less, I earn less, but I feel so much better.

Pinkhippie, I was interested to read how you used to eat to ward off anxiety, too. And I have truly discovered that it’s not a case of avoiding stomach emptiness, but avoiding long-drawn-out, depleting situations where you have no control when it will stop and you can go home for your dinner or whatever. I ALWAYS have an exit strategy now, and will never go into a situation that’s open-ended - where one’s duties of attendance are ambiguous. I’m not even a stereotype introvert - I sometimes feel revived after being in company, I’m not shy with strangers, I do small talk, but my social battery runs out eventually, whether it’s family, friends or strangers, and I have to get away.

Lean Habits sounds good! I will read it. I had a phase of being really fed up with diet books, but I think there are good ones out there. I was always seeing Dr Glenn Livingston’s books flashing up on my kindle, and ignored them for years, thinking ‘Never Binge Again? Yeah, pull the other one!’ But I got a lot out of his books.*

Did a mammoth walk with DH yesterday - and we got a bit lost so walked at least an extra mile. I reckon we did about 6 miles. I was tired, but I’m sure all the Leslie Sansone walks have really helped me get fitter. Returning to the house, I felt the familiar pull to have a rewarding snack, but just had two cups of tea while watching TV (we’d had lunch out and it wasn’t dinner time yet). Previously I probably would have felt restless, and forced myself to do something non-lazy, using food to boost my energy. I hope I’ve learned that lesson. Be lazy and don’t eat!
*although I did binge again... :lol: *

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jul 08, 2020 9:48 pm

I often find (now that I've been home more....) that if I lay down when I have that restless feeling I fall asleep! The ultimate "be lazy"!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:47 pm

Yes, I always have an exit strategy as well. I can be very socially outgoing but it definitely drains my batteries and overstimulates me eventually.

Lean Habits is good, I haven't actually read the whole thing. I think the first 3 habits are to eat 3 meals a day no snacks ( 4 if working out a lot). Wait for hunger and eat just enough. After that, she talks about what should be on your plate in terms of food and I didn't read that far because I have no interest in that part. :D

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:49 pm

....yes, I often wonder if we are driven to eat compulsively because we can’t admit that we need rest/sleep. If we eat, then we’re somehow ‘doing something’, pursuing rewards, remaining switched on. To lie down is a much better response to THAT feeling...the restlessness, dissatisfaction, continued craving for productivity and achievement...I know it sounds daft but I’ve been training myself to watch TV mindfully since the lockdown - just watching, nothing more. I really need this! To give up my quest for some elusive feeling of achievement or completion...hard to put it into words. Maybe the restless feeling is a kind of fatigue...

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:15 am

pinkhippie wrote:
Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:47 pm
Yes, I always have an exit strategy as well. I can be very socially outgoing but it definitely drains my batteries and overstimulates me eventually.

Lean Habits is good, I haven't actually read the whole thing. I think the first 3 habits are to eat 3 meals a day no snacks ( 4 if working out a lot). Wait for hunger and eat just enough. After that, she talks about what should be on your plate in terms of food and I didn't read that far because I have no interest in that part. :D
Pinkhippie, it’s as if we are twins! :) I can’t stand being told what to put on my plate. Those writers seem to think that we all have a grocery store next door and can pop out for a fresh bit of kale to go with our lightly grilled fish at a moment’s notice. The reality is that most of us (I suspect) are delving into the fridge and cupboard and making do with what we have...we are also often trying to work around other people’s routines, AND are using our own intuition, which I still do when I have my meals. I definitely tune out those bits of eating advice - they’re of very little interest and no practical use to me!

I’m just like you with the social thing, too.

Weight is down half a pound from my first weigh-in last week. Habitcal squares are all green or yellow so far...

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:51 pm

I seriously have never in my life managed to follow someone else's meal plan (not for even one freaking meal)! I just realized this as I read this conversation. :-)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

alene1
Posts: 533
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:06 am
Location: Washington state

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by alene1 » Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:00 pm

Octavia, I'm really enjoying all the thoughtful conversation going on in your journal. :) I recently completed the Breaking Up with Binge Eating program with Georgie Fear, the author of Lean Habits. She is an awesome person, and very much a voice of reason for me amongst all the Opinions About Eating going on in my head, as Larkspur aptly named it. I learned a lot, and still need to work to put a lot of it into practice. Her support and that of her co-coach was really amazing. I used to do a lot of Leslie Sansone too. She's great! I have switched over to mostly Jessica Smith workouts. She's also awesome, and does a lot of walking workouts, as well as weights. She has tons of free workouts on YouTube. Her little dog Peanut is often in on the workouts too! Nice job on that big walk, and your loss this week.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:30 pm

Thanks Alene! By coincidence I was just reading a kindle sample of Georgie Fear‘s book about lean habits right before I read your post. She does seem very on the ball...I think I might buy the book!
automatedeating wrote:
Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:51 pm
I seriously have never in my life managed to follow someone else's meal plan (not for even one freaking meal)! I just realized this as I read this conversation. :-)
Yep, same here! Although hang on, I did follow Rosemary Conley’s fat free recipes when I did the Hip and Thigh diet decades ago. But then I didn’t know how else to cook, I was so young....! :lol:

Have had another good day.

I do feel I have learned some new skills, since lockdown actually...things relating to habit building that might help me with No S. I started doing the Leslie S workouts back in March, as I was afraid of becoming too sedentary. I observed myself going through all the familiar phases of a new routine: excitement, vitality, new energy, a sense of achievement... then all that levelled off...there was physical fatigue, then boredom, then a feeling of insane repetition, loss of the sense of reward...but as I had no other form of exercise, I kept going. A new enjoyment came along...still a slight boredom...then a gradual realisation that THIS IS WHAT ITS LIKE WHEN YOU KEEP DOING SOMETHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I accepted the strange new feeling. I just kept going. It does feel a bit insane, as if an intervention is due, but I’m just carrying on. Perhaps at one time I would have tried to uplevel my routine - shake it up, keep it interesting- but I actually think the key to successful habit building is to keep on doing the same thing. I’m sure I’ll hit a point with No S where it feels a bit crazy to keep doing the same thing over and over again. But I’ll be ready, and will know to just push on through.

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Jul 10, 2020 4:37 pm

I am in the lean habits facebook group and Georgie and her husband are super nice. That is neat that you did the coaching program Alene!

Octavia I know JUST what you mean about exercise. I have been going through the same thing. I have definitely hit boredom but I have come to realize that consistency is the most important thing and trying to make things interesting for me is actually a lot more work and I am LESS likely to stick with it. I had never realized that before. But, making exercise a habit first and foremost is more important than changing things up, fatiguing new muscles, etc.. I mean in the long run that is probably important but when creating the exercise habit, I think it can derail a lot of people to try to change things up.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jul 10, 2020 10:39 pm

My hand is in the air!!! I just listened to a part in "Atomic Habits" yesterday that was describing that the people that make the biggest changes over time are the people that can "put up with the boredom" even when motivation wanes! I was a little surprised by the concept, but it sure did make a lot of sense to me once I considered it more. The author says that's why so many of us pick new diets, new gyms, new workouts, etc. etc.but never make the lasting change we desire.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

Soprano
Posts: 1184
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Soprano » Sat Jul 11, 2020 7:10 am

Good to see you back Octavia and what an interesting conversation.

Re exercise I got a yoga dvd over 2 years ago with two 30 minute sessions. I committed to do it twice a week becoming familiar with one program then the other. While I try and set a day to do it if I don't fancy it I never force it. I find I start craving it if I leave too big a gap.

I feel so good after doing it and take a few minutes to acknowledge that and now really look forward to it. I have noticed a real difference in my ability to do the program and in my body.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Jul 11, 2020 3:21 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Fri Jul 10, 2020 10:39 pm
My hand is in the air!!! I just listened to a part in "Atomic Habits" yesterday that was describing that the people that make the biggest changes over time are the people that can "put up with the boredom" even when motivation wanes! I was a little surprised by the concept, but it sure did make a lot of sense to me once I considered it more. The author says that's why so many of us pick new diets, new gyms, new workouts, etc. etc.but never make the lasting change we desire.
Aha! So this is a significant skill...the endurance of boredom and repetition...indeed, the recognition of the fact that it is part of the key! So many of the ‘habit coaches’ sort of miss this out...they say how it will come to feel natural, like brushing your teeth, but not how it will also feel weird, insane, boring, and kind of wrong - against our intuition, our natural desire for novelty and a sense of reward.

Thanks Auto, Pinkhippie and Soprano!

So it’s an S day, and I’m making a blackberry crumble for dessert.

I’m feeling down today for some reason...started thinking about my early menopause and all the bad things it might have done to my body (was stupid enough to start Googling and reading about premature ageing, early onset Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, heart disease...*). I know what sparked this off - yesterday, the osteopath said my back had a slight S bend, ie. asymmetry, scoliosis. And she wondered if it was to do with my breast reconstruction where they pulled my left back muscle around to the front. A transdorsal flap. Indeed my left side is a bit weak. I feel regretful that I ever had this reconstruction done. So all that post-cancer stuff is in my mind, including the chemo-induced menopause. Then today, I had to drive DD up to a new hairdresser for a skin test prior to highlights, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude at this simple mother-daughter moment, grateful that I have had the privilege of bringing her up, when I might easily have become infertile before I had her.** My cancer was discovered when she was a baby. Now she is hanging around with me just talking about the Kardashians and things, and I feel really emotional.

* however, I am suspicious that some menopause horror stories are written by vindictive dried up old men who want to undermine vibrant older women... :evil:
** or indeed, I might have died! :shock:

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jul 12, 2020 4:12 pm

The blackberry crumble sounds so lovely!

Your description sharing just a little bit of what you've gone through really made me wish I could give you a hug in real life. And then I felt your gratitude coming through when you described your daughter.

P.S. One of my underlying concerns is that my body is somehow aging faster than everyone around me. Talk about a waste of my life energy to dwell on such an idea.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:15 pm

Octavia it sounds like you have gone through so much! I am also sending you hugs. I am sorry you are having all these worries and concerns. Dr. Google can be really good for heightening our anxiety about our physical health. Sometimes it helps to talk to a human instead. Do you have a regular Dr. that you could talk to about your concerns?

I have heard of some of the horror stories about menopause too! Definitely concocted by old vindictive men.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Jul 12, 2020 10:26 pm

Thank you both for such comforting words! :) Feeling better today.

I need to grow up and accept the health trials I’ve been through. They are my battle scars! Many of us have such scars, either inside or out.

It’s late so I need to get to bed. Will report back tomorrow.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Jul 14, 2020 3:59 pm

The scales have yet to reward my compliance! Well actually, I am 3/4 of a pound down according to today’s weigh in. It’s crazy to ‘wait’ for the reward though - waiting creates tension, and this is my forever diet so I might as well just let things unfold.

Thinking about what auto said regarding the fear of one’s body ageing fast. I sometimes wonder if ageing - when we feel it negatively - is connected to neglect. Just speaking for myself here, but when I’ve been overwhelmed by other things and have lost interest in trying healthy new recipes, forgotten to drink water, lost interest in grooming etc..That’s when I feel Ive aged...it’s not the passing years or dwindling health per se, it’s more to do with tiredness and neglect. The solution is not a time machine...but self-care! Sometimes that’s hard when we have a million distractions. Something I often do is to focus on getting enough exercise, but then I forget the other side of the coin - rest, fun, real relaxation. Or I’ll remember not to snack, but fail to take an interest in the contents of my meals. These are all forms of self neglect and can lead to that ageing feeling.

On the other hand, one thing I find really transformative is to put on moisturiser three times a day, not just morning and night! I wish I could make this a more regular habit because I really think it makes a difference, especially if you can be bothered do do a cleanse and tone too. Don’t laugh but I read it in a Joan Collins beauty book I got from the library!!! :oops: :lol:

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Jul 14, 2020 4:58 pm

Hi Octavia! Yeah the aging thing is tough. I definitely agree with self-care helping. Moisturizer 3 times a day! WOW. I am lucky if I put it on once. :shock: I know, I am terrible, and my skin probably shows it. Maybe I will try 3 times a day and see what happens! When I was in my thirties people told me all the time how young I looked. Now that I am in my forties I don't get people gasping in disbelief when I tell them my age. That has been hard to get used to. Of course, I am surrounded by 19-year-olds so they probably just think I look like their mom. :D

I have been focusing more on what my body can do versus what it looks like and I find that really helpful. Can I ride up that hill without stopping? Can I run for 2 minutes? That sort of thing.

EDIT*

I thought this was funny but about 30 minutes after I commented on your post, I went and did my makeup for the first time in months and fixed my hair and I felt much better about myself. How we look, at least to ourselves does matter. And I think stuff like makeup can be self care if it makes us feel good about ourselves.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 15, 2020 9:59 pm

Thanks, Pink! Yes, makeup can be self care - a few moments of creativity, for no one but ourselves. Since lockdown I’ve been really neglecting it.

Weight back up today, to starting point (2 weeks in). But I did some maths and think I am eating fewer calories per week, despite slightly mad S days. I reckon at this rate I could lose a bit more than a pound a month, which would be fantastic. Personally I think a pound is quite a sum. The idea of losing ‘one to two pounds a week’ - as the great diet experts recommend - strikes me as crazy! That’s like two massive bags of flour! It would be nice to be encouraged though. Still, I need to focus on other things. Like the fact that my other way of eating, ‘Feed on Demand’, also has its frustrations and boundaries: at some point you have to put the chocolate away and do something else. No S just has different boundaries. It also has benefits, like relishing meals and not feeling doomed to self-destruct! :)...and you eventually lose weight...

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:10 pm

PS. I too have had the experience of going from looking very young for my age, and suddenly the years catching up. When I was in my early 30s and doing a bit of teaching, I was mistaken for a 6th former! I still looked younger than my age up to around 42. But gradually I began to look like that vague thing, the ‘older woman’! Now, I think I look my age...but can still disguise it! :twisted: On a good day, that is. :roll:

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Jul 16, 2020 5:50 pm

Octavia, I totally agree! Whenever I see programs that say a safe sustainable rate of 1-2 pounds a week, I am always a little surprised. It takes a lot to lose that much a week! Getting comfortable with eating boundaries is definitely key for me being able to continue No S.

Yeah, it's tough when you don't hear how young you look anymore when you finally reveal your true age and its just... silence. :shock: Or not having your id checked for alcohol purchases anymore. I think I can disguise it on a good day too. :D

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:31 pm

I think that looking extra young for all those years has perhaps made it a bigger shock for me to now be so clearly in the old people crowd (it's the gray hair for me that does it). Although (and probably I should be on my own thread now.... sorry), recently I've been thinking this gray hair is kind of cool-looking on me, especially now that it's long enough to pull it up a bit. The silver against my (summer) tanned face is quite striking.

Have a great day Pinkie!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:07 pm

Silver hair and a tan is a great look! Have you seen Emmy Lou Harris’s hair? ❤️ It’s tough for those of us who looked ultra-young when somewhat young, it’s like one of our privileges has been taken away...part of our identity! I still can’t believe that I look old! Maybe it’s good to be in denial!

Was quite pleased today, that weight was down a pound, from my starting point not quite three weeks ago. It will probably bob up again, but I feel things are going well. Enjoying meals, and there’s a noticeable difference in how I feel in the periods between meals. I’m aware of the fasting periods being important, and I’m not in a hurry to get to the next meal. This is very different from how it was before. I used to find it really tricky to go for longer than three and a half/four hours without eating - if I got hungry I felt I’d mismanaged things, or had hit a crisis somehow.

Great news, my back X-ray is fine - a bit of mild wear and tear low down, but nothing that should cause pain. Have been pummelled by lovely osteopath lady, and given exercises. Also had slightly unsatisfactory phone consultation with NHS physio. I think it is getting better. Osteo recommends pilates.

S day tomorrow and I have forgotten to buy chocolate! Can’t believe it!

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jul 18, 2020 12:03 am

OMG! When you said "EmmyLou Harris" I always wondered why we called our (childhood) dog that! (her original name was Emily but my mom and sisters always called her EmmyLou Harris, which I thought they made up....). So I looked her up and was like OMG OMG that's what I want to look like! Octavia, you have touched my soul!
So then I found this interview with her, which is great: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/22/boom ... arris.html

But I am going to quote this part for us:
I don’t know if we get wiser, but we have more experiences under our belt, and I think maybe your sense of humor gets more intense as you look at the world from a little bit of a distance. I’m just too busy living every day to really spend a lot of time thinking, “Am I old?” I’m this age. I am in this moment and in this life. One of the great things about dogs, they are totally in the moment, and I think that’s a very difficult thing for humans to do. We’re cursed with self-consciousness. We can’t get away from ourselves. You asked me if I have any regrets? I regret that it took me all that time to figure out I could have a dog on the road.
-EmmyLou Harris
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Jul 18, 2020 9:29 am

Oh that’s so lovely Auto. I’ve often looked at dogs and wanted to steal a bit of their in-the-moment joy! A great interview with EmmyLou there: hey, maybe you have a new role model? I’m so glad I mentioned her! Also check out the great Argentinian pianist Martha Argerich! Like EmmyLou she’s much older than you, but went grey naturally when younger, and has always been stunning.

http://chopin2015-assets.medici.tv/medi ... pscale.jpg

Hurrah, the scales are down. Today’s weight is 10 stone 12 1/4. So that’s a pound and a quarter down from where I started not quite three weeks ago. And I have no inclination to eat randomly today. I want to continue enjoying my meals.

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Jul 18, 2020 9:24 pm

Hi Octavia!

Congratulations for the scale moving down for you! That is a nice feeling to realize your habits you are cultivating are showing physical results.

I am glad your back x ray was fine too! Have you done pilates before? I used to do it a lot when I was younger.

I feel like gray hair and silver hair has had a bit of a resurgence in popularity for women. I have noticed even younger women dying their hair gray on purpose...

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Jul 19, 2020 9:55 pm

Hi Pink, my osteopath recommended Pilates - I should try it. I’ve done Callanetics for years, which I believe is slightly similar, but it’s time I graduated!

Have had two somewhat excessive S days, nothing particularly gross...but two or three times I’ve turned away from snacking just so I can enjoy my next meal. I do think my behaviour and approach has evolved since my last phase on No S. I feel I have more skills now. Hope so, anyway. 🤞🏻

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Mon Jul 20, 2020 1:00 am

Octavia, thanks for the mention of Martha Argerich! You seem to be very up on the music scene. :-)

Very neat that you feel your S Days are naturally a bit calmer than in the past.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Jul 20, 2020 7:46 pm

Oh wow! You have done Callanetics?

My mom was HUGE into Callanetics. She used to have a friend come over and they would do them together and of course, I tagged along. When I got older I did Callanetics on my own. They are HARD! But whenever I did them I was in such amazing shape. I haven't done them in years.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Jul 21, 2020 10:15 am

Hi Pink! Yes, I used to have a Callanetics video where I was transfixed by Callan’s neon orange leotard as she did her excruciating Pelvic Rotations. I don’t do the whole routine properly now as it’s so long and boring. But you can’t deny it’s effective. I probably should try the whole thing one of these days and see if I can manage it! As it is, I still do the stomach exercises and a few of the stretches.

Thanks auto - my weight has only gone up a quarter of a pound after the weekend which is great! So I’m still feeling quite encouraged by the scale. I still like to step on the scale every day because I feel if I left it longer I might be much more discouraged by a little blip. And it’s another little no s routine that keeps me focussed, like doing Habitcal.

automatedeating
Posts: 5305
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Tue Jul 21, 2020 3:40 pm

I continue to be one of those weigh-every-day people. I know that it doesn't tell the whole story, but it is one piece of data that is so easy to check.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Tue Jul 21, 2020 8:08 pm

hah hah the orange leotard! I saw the video years later, I had the giant hardback book. Oh man I forgot about the pelvic rotations! Those were brutal! The other ones I always had trouble with were the leg lifts while sitting on the other leg and hanging onto the bar. I can't remember what they were called.

I tried to go without daily weighing but I ended up going back to it. It is helpful to have that data and I feel like it subconsciously helps me to stay consistent with my habits.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Tue Jul 21, 2020 10:05 pm

pinkhippie wrote:
Tue Jul 21, 2020 8:08 pm
hah hah the orange leotard! I saw the video years later, I had the giant hardback book. Oh man I forgot about the pelvic rotations! Those were brutal! The other ones I always had trouble with were the leg lifts while sitting on the other leg and hanging onto the bar. I can't remember what they were called.
...they were introduced as ‘Now - the marvellous Behind and Hips! Turn your pear into a peach!’ Or something. Yes, I tried them the other day and it was agony! :lol:

Went for very long walk today in the countryside with DH. Weather was beautiful, we had a little picnic by a wheat field, did some really big climbs, and I think we did at least 7 miles. Treated ourselves to fish and chips when we got back, and I ate just a plate, most of the fish but not so many of the chips (fries, that is). So I’ve stayed green. At one time I would have been so worried about running out of fuel, and would have packed snacks galore. But now I seem to have got over that, and am really embracing hunger. I so hope this continues.

User avatar
Octavia
Posts: 901
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2015 8:01 pm
Location: UK

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jul 22, 2020 9:41 am

Hurrah, the scale has moved down a little more, to 10 stone 11 3/4. That’s actually two pounds down from 3 weeks ago - a miracle! (Apologies if it is triggering for anyone to read others’ weight/weight loss. I want to record it here as I think it will help me stay on track). Somehow I was expecting it to have gone upwards after my big walk yesterday, because the scales are contrary that way, as we all know.

Once again I am finding Habitcal helpful, as it gives one a little ‘compulsion’, which is a nice balance to those other compulsions (to eat snacks and sweets!). Before (in my first successful stint of No S in 2017) I kept it going for a few months then I was overcome by a feeling of insanity...but when I gave up Habitcal, my no s habits crumbled too. What went wrong? Well I felt a little afraid to find myself following rules so obediently - the idea of breaking the No S rules had started to feel like a mild phobic aversion, which alarmed me. I think I know better, now. Firstly I have learned how doing anything over and over again does feel a bit insane, and goes against the natural human quest for novelty and change, to move onto new phases. Also, I need to own the diet better, make it absolutely congruent with my own wishes and intentions. This is easier now I’m not white-knuckling through hunger but am welcoming it and seeing it as part of my daily rhythm. So I’m not as reliant on the Habitcal compulsion as I was before, in order to stick to No S. It’s still useful, though.

Those are my thoughts for the day!

pinkhippie
Posts: 1293
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:00 pm

Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:41 pm

Hah! NOOOOO not the pear into a peach! That brings it all back...

Sounds like such a wonderful day with your DH. I wish mine would walk. He would much rather ride his bike, but I love walking. I am glad you are able to embrace hunger, I really think that makes a difference. I realized today how much proactive eating I used to do. Like "I better eat now in case I am hungry later" eating. I think that was the main source of my weight gain. Now if I get hungry or my stomach growls I just know that my meal will taste even better when I finally have it.

Interesting thoughts re Habitcal. I have never used it because the idea of failure or success bothered me too much. It sounds like you have figured out a way to make it work for you really well now.

Congratulations on the scale moving down! ( I always worry about being triggering talking about my weight loss too. This is such an interesting forum, and definitely not your typical "diet" forum. I think we are all trying to figure out a sustainable way of living without being on a diet per se, yet we are all trying to maintain or lose weight.)

Post Reply