Octavia is finally checking in!

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:39 pm

Having a very lazy morning, er, afternoon. Really must get out of bed. But I’m spending good time journaling and thinking about my No S journey. I had a little fail again yesterday, and I’m sure it was sparked off by the disappointing scale news. Having done more than 3 months, staying mainly green, I’ve lost a whopping one and a half pounds according to the scale, which makes me feel so wretched and stupid, like I’ve spent all these weeks deluding myself into thinking I’m doing well when I’m in fact eating like a gannet. I think these thoughts were just beneath my awareness. So. Time for an intervention!

- Stop weighing. I can’t afford to have a mindset of waiting to feel successful. I need to feel successful now, in the moment, or I’ll never grow and change. NB stopping weighing must not coincide with stopping caring about controlling my eating.
- Cut down on wine. Have been drinking more (ie. one glass a night) due to dinner being delayed, due to DH going back to work. Probably only 100 cals a night, but there you are.
- Uplevel the natural No S focus on meals. I think I can emphasise this, be more conscious of anticipating and enjoying meals (as opposed to focussing on the absence of snacks). Let this focus continue at weekends, shifting treats to mealtimes.

I do think that the crackdown on snacks is the strongest aspect of No S, for a person like me. I don’t want to give up! Even if I truly can’t lose weight. It is perfectly possible that I have reached an appropriate weight for a moderate-eating, moderately active, 5’5, 55 year old. So I need to find other ways of feeling good about my body, feeling successful, without waiting for the scale to spark off a feeling of success.

Now I really MUST get out of bed. :oops:

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Soprano » Sat Oct 10, 2020 9:01 pm

Put it in perspective a little, 1/2 lb a month is nearly half a stone a year. So 2 years and a stone off that's pretty impressive if you are enjoying your foods. Certainly better than the opposite gaining half a stone a year which at your age (mine too) can so easily happen :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Oct 11, 2020 7:20 pm

Thank you so much, Soprano! A really welcome reminder and I so appreciate your perspective. I need to beware making modifications. Habits are so easily disrupted.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:01 am

I hate that stupid scale. I think you are doing really well and agree with soprano. It’s so common to be gaining at our age (I’m 52). Losing any weight especially without extreme measures is fantastic.

Give yourself some credit. You are doing great. 💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Oct 18, 2020 1:48 pm

Thanks Linda! I needed to hear that. Yes, I am doing just fine. In fact it’s been an interesting week - I’ve had some bad moods and have gone to bed thinking I’d go to the supermarket the next day and buy something delicious and filling to neutralise that empty, bitter feeling I get when I’m low. But every day, I’ve found myself just sticking to No S! The habits are winning! :) And I haven’t stepped on the scales.

Wondering about buying one of those mini exercise bikes! There’s not much space in my house so I don’t want to get a proper exercise bike, but you can get a sort of pedal unit to put on the floor. Some of them have good reviews - I might go for it!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Oct 18, 2020 2:43 pm

Yay! That’s fantastic! Staying off the scales is great. I’ve been back to weighing daily. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not but using the Happy Scale app helps a lot. It gives you a moving average and shows you how much you’re losing a week (on average). You put in a weekly goal and you can see if you’re on track or not. I put mine at .25 lbs/week because I want to keep my expectations low. Anyway it helps to keep all those daily fluctuations in check. As long as my weight is slowly going dosn (very slowly ) Im good.

The bike idea sounds great. I love having a home option to working out.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sun Oct 18, 2020 6:00 pm

Octavia - so impressive that you have avoided using the food to neutralize the icky feelings!

Linda - I've been thinking I might like one of those scales that provides averages.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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lpearlmom
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Oct 19, 2020 4:09 am

I didn’t know they had scales that do that, but this is the app I use.

https://happyscale.com/
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Oct 19, 2020 7:20 pm

Octavia sounds like you are doing good!

I have looked at those mini bike pedaling things too. IT is nice to have a way to get your heart rate up in your own house and work your muscles. It's just motivating yourself to do it that can be tricky!

I also have kind of come to that conclusion though lately. Like what am I willing to do and what kind of body will my lifestyle be able to give me? I dont' want to do a lot of weight lifting every week or tons of cardio, so I know that with moderate exercise,( like 3 times a week max) and 3 meals a day my 44-year-old self will look basically the way it looks right now. I either have to be happy with that or decide to change my lifestyle and I do not want to do that. It's definitely a new place for me to be mentally. I CAN and am willing to do 3 meals a day so I have been working on that. Snacking has been my struggle too.

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Thu Oct 22, 2020 8:36 pm

Oh dear, it’s not been a good week. My routine has been disrupted with lots of travelling, and I’ve found myself snacking and eating chocolate. Also not having time to exercise. The focus has been on coping with work and family demands. Perhaps I just feel unmotivated. Staying snack-free when you’re travelling and can’t access nice meals feels grim. I’m fine till mid afternoon, then I’m caving in at the slightest temptation. :(

Linda, it’s interesting that you’ve started weighing again, because I’m already feeling I need to check my weight and not just hide my head in the sand. Despite all the health reasons for doing No S, I think if it doesn’t lead to weight loss, then this has to be addressed. But I know that mods often complicate and unravel the system.

Pink, arriving at that point of acceptance is a great thing! :)

Auto, you’re right, I was doing well to deal with those feelings, to let them pass without comforting myself with food. I feel different this week, but then it has been a different sort of week - I haven’t had as much control over my days as usual. I perhaps need to just accept this - sometimes life just gets in the way of staying green - rather than trying to figure out how I can find better strategies.

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Oct 23, 2020 10:05 am

Feeling more positive today, and decided to start weighing again - even though any kind of weighing has its drawbacks, whether you do it daily or weekly or whatever. So I hopped on this morning, and was relieved to see that I’m down a little from two weeks ago when I decided to stop.

Yesterday I was tired - had been pulling a wheelie suitcase through the rain, with an achey back, after a sleepless night etc etc, so when I found 4 squares of chocolate in the fridge...well....!!! It was an honest fail, guv! :lol:

There’s nothing more I can do to cure my chocolate addiction right now, but there’s lots I can do to improve my daily diet. For a while I’ve just been eating ‘whatever’ for meals...whatever is most convenient, that I fancy, within reason. But I’ve started to uplevel this. I’ve shifted my beloved eggs from lunchtime to breakfast - having 2 nearly-hard-boiled eggs, shelled and on a plate with a single krisproll (those Swedish crispy wholemeal mini roll things) and a tomato, followed by a portion of fruit. It’s a lot more effort than the lazy habit I’d got into, of having one piece of toast with peanut butter and another piece with low sugar jam. Then for lunch, rather than just cooking an egg in the quickest, laziest way possible, I am having a salad with protein of some sort, and maybe fruit again. As for dinner - I’m experimenting with the idea of just having a nice soup and maybe a bit of toast. I’ve been feeling quite grumpy about all the effort I put into cooking the dinner, and clearing up, and thought this soup idea had the great advantage of not requiring much prep or washing up! So it taps into my laziness and also prevents me from overeating at a time of day when I don’t need all those calories. And DH is happy to go along, as he does not want to lose his status as beanpole extraordinaire.

These changes are, for me, possibly as radical as giving up snacking, and hopefully equally effective in reducing unnecessary calories. I’m prepared for it to feel strange and possibly insane. That will be my Inner Pig talking...

One hurdle is that my DD (a dancer and quite athletic) is returning for half term and will need big dinners. I will have to deal with this, perhaps by having a small plate - though that takes great willpower!

Anyway, it’s good to have some new strategies without feeling I’m meddling with the system. I DO feel I need No S to be a weight loss system. That’s why I’m here. And rather than add mods (such as allowing the odd snack or sweet on N days or reduce/control the S days) I just feel I want to do have a better strategy for meals.

Now, must get on with some work.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Jen1974 » Fri Oct 23, 2020 4:14 pm

Good luck with your new “tools”. I always love having a new plan, it feel always feels very motivating :D

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Oct 23, 2020 4:47 pm

Great ideas and planning, Octavia! I adore soup. I wish the rest of my family liked it as much - they always complain they want something with more "substance". :roll:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Fri Oct 23, 2020 9:26 pm

Sounds like some interesting ideas! I also love soup. Especially crockpot soup. All my kids hate it though. One of my favorite meals is a big bowl of soup with a piece of toast. As you can see in my check in, I eat that for lunch quite a lot! :)

I hope you have a good weekend!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Oct 24, 2020 10:07 am

Thanks for your encouragement, ladies! I’m feeling really positive. The scales, those fair weather friends, have rewarded me, too, darn them! I’m back down to where I was a couple of months ago, before the discouraging weight gain and plateau of September and October which nearly derailed me. I mean, we’re only talking 2lb or so, but in my world that is a lot. Of course it could be (and probably is) a blip!

I’m wondering whether to give up running. I’ve had a few hints that my pelvic floor is not happy - I will spare you the details. My mother had a ghastly bowel prolapse, and I need to be mindful about the possible strain of high impact exercise. I do not want to risk going through what she went through by bashing my pelvic floor. I didn’t sleep too well last night pondering this. Running is a wonderful challenge, and although I’ve never become ‘fluent’ at it, or lost weight through it, I have strengthened my knees and toned my legs, and felt a nice calm energy afterwards. I’d be sad to stop, especially as it feels like making a concession to ageing. But some things must be faced.

Rather annoyed that I have some work to do today - I usually enjoy the freedom of Saturdays! Never mind. Happy S days to all.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sat Oct 24, 2020 4:33 pm

Sorry you have to do some extra work today, Octavia. I know what you mean about normally looking forward to the freedom (wide open space) of Saturdays.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Sat Oct 24, 2020 11:41 pm

Aww that is too bad you might have to give up running but it sounds like it could be a wise course of action... maybe start biking? Or walking?

Hope you were able to enjoy your Saturday despite the work!

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:56 pm

Thanks Pink and auto! I’ve had a rather good week - after stumbling upon the idea of replacing the heavy evening dinner with something lighter (fortunately DH is fine with this) and making more of an effort to get plenty of nutrition at my other meals, I have actually lost a little weight. :o

I’m really enjoying my new breakfasts and seem to have got out of the habit of just making a quick piece of toast or two. I’m eating less bread, more protein, more fruit and veg, and less pasta and rice. Probably a little less fat, too, with the lighter dinners. I’m also drinking a large cup of tea when I wake up, instead of just grabbing a coffee in my desperation to feel human. This means an extra cup of fluid. Anyway I’m currently almost 4lb lighter than when I started back in July, which feels miraculous. My recent interventions, however, do NOT include any changes to S days. I am not ready for that yet. My new N day changes have just occurred organically. I still intend to let go and have what I want this weekend - whatever that turns out to be. The reason I feel quite confident about sticking with this is that it works on a ‘pleasure’ level! The new breakfasts and lunches do take more effort but are more delicious...and the new dinners are less delicious, but less effortful! Pleasure and laziness! The keys to change! :lol:

Ugh I went for a ghastly smear test this morning. Sorry if this is TMI. The nurse was a right old dragon and I can honestly say it was the most painful - sorry, ‘uncomfortable ’ one I’ve ever had! :evil: Why don’t they let us stick the speculum up there ourselves? They can do the scrapy bit. Anyone want to join me in the International Campaign for Speculum Self-Insertion? :lol:

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Oct 31, 2020 9:08 am

Good grief, no sooner does the diet seem to be working than a pound pops on overnight! Gah! I know this is entirely normal, but when my weight loss is so minuscule, it seems much worse. A quarter of my 4 months’ weight loss, wiped out overnight!

Oh well. I don’t want to torture myself with constant weighing. I should probably stop it again for a while. I’ve found a comfortable way of eating so should just stick to it.

Happy S days everyone.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Soprano » Sat Oct 31, 2020 1:48 pm

Oh poor you, I have a smear test next week. I recall a very painful one a while ago.

No way can you really put a pound on in one day!

Just normal bodily fluctuation.

Bet it's soon gone again. :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Sat Oct 31, 2020 4:01 pm

The nurse was a right old dragon
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Anyone want to join me in the International Campaign for Speculum Self-Insertion?
Me! Me! Me! I am totally serious too, because every time they jam that horrid tool inside me it is agonizing. Then they crank it around, and mutter about my "tilted" uterus. :evil: Sometimes they have to have a second person get the damn thing fitted. I actually asked for a sedative prescription before I come in for my IUD removal. I was supposed to get it removed 18 months ago but I'm dreading the pain. I guess I'm a wimp but there is just something about nervy cervical pain that surpasses my tolerance ability. And then I think about it and get all uptight, which only makes it worse.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

pinkhippie
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Mon Nov 02, 2020 8:44 pm

Ouch, poor you Octavia!

Yes, those exams can be awful! Auto, yours sound really bad. I remember the most painful pap smear I had was when I was pregnant. Oh agony.

I need to get into the lady dr again soon but I always put if off... can't imagine why... :D

Anyway, Octavbia sounds like you are doing great! A pound of fluctuation is really nothing. I know it doesn't feel like nothing but really our weight does fluctuate so much on a regular basis. It sounds like you are eating well for your body and feeling good, so that is awesome!

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Nov 07, 2020 11:36 am

It always cheers me up when I return to my check-in thread and see that my friends have left messages for me! Thanks pink, auto, soprano.
I really do think that smears need not be painful. The metal device should be redesigned in a firm but soft plastic. We could shove it in ourselves, getting the angle right without too much trouble. Then they can scrape away! Or probably we could even do that ourselves, given the right kit! It could be called a Socially Distanced Smear. :lol: :lol: 8) 8) It adds insult to injury when they mutter about our ‘abnormal‘ bits. My best friend also has a tilted womb, auto. And you did right to demand a sedative for your IUD removal! Soprano, good luck with your test, and I hope you have a nice nurse. Pink, when you finally dial that scary number, I hope you too get an appointment with a nice human being.

If only I had the brave heart of a campaigner. :roll:

All the best to you guys in the USA - I’m following the news.

It’s been an interesting week. My lighter eating style foundered, and I had a couple of small fails. 1. FIL gave us a big box of chocolates which were still in the house on Monday. Enough said. 2. I got very stressed and hungry after driving DD through scary, dark rush hour traffic on Weds, after which I had a little sit down with a glass of wine and bag of crisps.

But despite my discouragement/disappointment and feelings of I JUST CAN’T DO THIS WRETCHED NO S THING, good sense has prevailed. In fact I feel more committed to moderate eating and a healthy lifestyle than ever before. I clearly need to own my choices (that old Gillian Riley thing) and do what I know is right for me in my heart, rather than cling to rules and apply them according to my addictive weaknesses and unrealistic diet dreams. That’s code for overeating and undereating. I’ve been doing both in my attempts to get the most out of the No S regime, and I think I’m ready to stop the madness. This weekend I really do not want to overeat chocolate. And as for my N days, I don’t want to undereat or go too long without food. For me, the important fasting period is after the evening meal. At that point I really do think it’s worth white-knuckling a bit, while there are no other particular demands being made on me. But during the day, I need physical, mental and emotional energy. I’ve lost faith in the wisdom of running on fumes - it makes me depressed, anxious and incapacitated. Not that I necessarily want to dabble with snacking, but I think my meals need to be less far apart. I just want to feel good!

I’m reading Menopause without weight gain, by Debra Waterhouse. It’s quite an old book now, but is giving me lots of pause for thought. I’m feeling grateful that my weight gain hasn’t been greater, and I’m perhaps respecting that some of it is necessary for my health. Yes, she does advocate small, more frequent meals, but she is very anti-overeating and pro-moderation. I just feel her book has given me a big dose of realism at this stage in my life.

Happy S days to all!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Nov 07, 2020 3:16 pm

I love reading about your realizations!! I think a lot of us are there. We all just want to eat in a way that feels good but have a really hard time doing that without getting too restrictive where it backfires & we find ourselves overdoing it. It’s crazy how hard it is to be the type of person who has a few chocolates & moves on!! I love this board even when people aren’t technically doing NO S that they keep writing about what they are doing!! And there’s nothing saying that your No S can’t be 4-5 meals instead of just the 3!! I think in the end we’re all just trying to be people who figure out a way to eat more moderately!!

I love when you said:

“and do what I know is right for me in my heart, rather than cling to rules and apply them according to my addictive weaknesses and unrealistic diet dreams.“

That’s really me too, working to not fall down the rabbit hole of unrealistic diet dreams!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Nov 11, 2020 8:53 pm

This eating/weight/body stuff is so difficult. The interesting question I think is how would we eat if weight was out of the picture. As I realize how little control I actually have over my weight I’ve been thinking about what that would look like. It’s hard to separate though because diet culture is real and the thinner we are, the more privileges we gain. Anyway, not sure what my point is but sometimes the only way to end the struggle is to let go. I don’t know but I do know we all deserve peace with our eating no matter how much we weigh. Anyway, good luck navigating all this. God knows I still don’t have it all figured out yet (not even close)! 💜💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:46 am

I’ve lost faith in the wisdom of running on fumes - it makes me depressed, anxious and incapacitated. Not that I necessarily want to dabble with snacking, but I think my meals need to be less far apart. I just want to feel good!
I really relate to this. I agree! I just want to feel good too and undereating doesn't make me feel good!

The book you are reading sounds interesting.

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Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Nov 18, 2020 4:07 pm

Belated thanks for the kind and thoughtful responses, all! I haven't had time to check in, and am in a strange place regarding No S and the whole thing of controlling my eating. I really identify with what you said, Linda, about us not actually having much (if any) control over our weight. How would we feel if we stopped trying, and accepted - THIS IS HOW I AM. But as you say, thin privilege is real - and here we all are, in the midst of this human tribe, trying to hold our own, be respected, be part of this society.

I have pretty much been the same size all my life. Dieting - even on the one or two occasions when I was successful - never really changed anything, and I never lost more than 3/4 of a dress size even on radical fat-free plans or calorie counting. So it's hardly surprising that here I am at 55, still looking like Mrs Average (ie. at the very top of the 'healthy' weight range), unable to lose more than a couple of pounds.

I think I mentioned that I've been reading Menopause Without Weight Gain by Debra Waterhouse. It's a deceptively-titled book, because her basic hypothesis is that there is no avoiding weight gain at menopause! She's all about losing that REALLY excess fat, by eating small regular meals and doing 1 hour of aerobics at a time, 4 times a week, plus 1 hour of weights. And for the aerobics, she says that walking is unlikely to do the trick. I sort of agree. I suspect that many of us are walking regularly but not really seeing any changes. All the same, even in my younger days I could only bounce up and down for a maximum of 40 minutes. So I've put the book away, thinking Forget it, sister! I'll take the weight gain. :lol: Perhaps I already fit into her category of someone who has gained an appropriate amount of weight at menopause. Who knows.

Annoyingly, Debra Waterhouse has now vanished from the internet so I can't check out whether her hypothesis has changed, or how she might be reacting to the latest research on women's weight.

I'm currently finding that a 15' shovelglove-type routine - ie. every day, brisk and energetic - plus 15' of stretches, weights, plank etc etc. really energises me. Maybe I should stick to doing what my body seems to like. As for eating, I think I need to move on from the No S pattern of getting through the week using willpower, then letting off massive amounts of steam at the weekend. But I feel suspicious about setting any more rules for myself. I will only break them. I need to somehow notice what is working, keep my attention positive, focus on the good I can do. But motivation is lacking, in terms of both vanity and health. I can be eating healthily and not feeling great, eating badly and feeling super, putting on weight but feeling attractive. It's all so random! The results of doing anything are so delayed - by the time we notice a positive or negative change, a whole load of other variables have been thrown into the equation.

On a lighter note - DH started fretting about his weight, having been oblivious to it all his life. He is tall and slim. But yes, he has got bigger despite still wearing the same trousers etc.. Anyway he said he'd been feeling thirsty a lot so started panicking about diabetes, and went online to check out other symptoms. One quiz told him to weigh himself. So he got out my scales and put them on the carpet [AMATEUR MISTAKE], and they said he was 10 stone 8. Not noticing any anomaly here, he innocently entered this figure into the quiz. YOU ARE UNDERWEIGHT, he was advised. He came to me in a real tizz. I laughed when I realised what he had done. He is 6 foot 4! We weighed him again on the kitchen floor and he was over 14 stone, and yes, getting to the top end of 'healthy'. But it was so hilarious how he had no clue what was a realistic weight for him. Ah, the innocence! Imagine being like that! :-)

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Wed Nov 18, 2020 6:10 pm

Maybe I should stick to doing what my body seems to like.
Yes Yes Yes!!!!

The story about your DH just about made me feel over. :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:10 pm

I relate Octavia. I too, have pretty much been the same size my whole life. I have managed to lose weight with some drastic temporary changes but it never lasts more than a few weeks. I look pretty average too, only now I have more middle-age softness. I really really think so much of how we feel about ourselves is about our thoughts about ourselves and even what is going on in our lives. Like we think we look different, but really only our perception of ourselves is different. Sounds like you have found a great movement routine that works for you!

My dh was innocent like that too about weight. I had to teach him about calibrating the scale when he first wanted to weigh himself.

Anyway, good to see you again!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Jen1974 » Thu Nov 19, 2020 4:48 pm

Me too on being around the same weight. I always feel I bounce between the lower & upper end of my set point weight depending on what I’m doing, yet I do typically feel better at the lower end but only because I’m typically not pushing the limits of full, so I don't end up feeling lethargic from overdoing it!! Other than though, I’m with you, it’s all a bit random!!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Nov 19, 2020 6:39 pm

I started a response to your post but it got too long so I just posted it under my thread, but ultimately I think there are just no easy answers I guess. We may not be able to really have much permanent effect on our weight but we can create a pattern of behaviors that will at least give us some peace with food. I think we need to be honest about what is sustainable for us and what is not. I enjoy just 3 meals a day with no seconds but having a small dessert each night makes it much more sustainable for me. I hope that we can all embrace where we are at right now and let our fabulousness shine through because in the end conventional beauty standards are nothing more than a social construct.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Fri Nov 20, 2020 6:38 pm

I hope that we can all embrace where we are at right now and let our fabulousness shine through because in the end conventional beauty standards are nothing more than a social construct.
YES!!!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sat Dec 05, 2020 8:51 pm

Haven't checked in for a while, and it's lovely to find friendly messages waiting for me. Thanks auto, Linda, Pink, and Jen.

I seem to have been rather busy, and haven't found time to write - when I do post here, I can easily spend over an hour thinking things through and checking in with friends. So I've not got round to it till today. But things have been quite interesting in Octavia Towers. After reading Debra Waterhouse's book, I started wondering if I should return to the little-and-often way of eating. It didn't work for me before, as I had no control over HOW often the eating happened, let alone the content of each mini-meal. I just perma-snacked! But now, after my training with No S, things are very different. I have been trying out the idea of eating five times a day: a small breakfast, small snack with coffee, small lunch...then some sort of treat-like snack at 4pm or thereabouts. (Afternoons are difficult for me, and I decided I wanted to stop feeling I'd lost control at that time. I was fed up of experiencing failure. I decided I had a valid need for a little lift at that time, and so would get it!) And finally, a moderate dinner after which I eat nothing till the next morning. I don't count the calories as I go, but after checking out the overall total of a few days, it comes out as very moderate. I'm doing the same at weekends, too, only dinner might be a bit more luxurious. This is very different from what I was trying before: the idea of tolerating hunger for long periods of time and fighting against using food to lift my mood. I've decided that I will never succeed long-term at those. Anyway, this way of eating feels very natural and easy for me. I'm feeling much better in myself: there's less tension as I never have to feel 'that's it now for hours' or 'that's the last sweets till next Saturday'. I had hoped, of course, that I would eventually get used to these things, and not feel deprived, but I don't think I've ever quite managed it. And without the encouragement of weight loss, it was a very tough thing to continue.

So...I have lost weight over the last two weeks which is fantastic, but I'm reminding myself that the reason for this routine is because it feels easy and natural, and suits the rhythms of my body and mind. It's how I would choose to eat, regardless of weight loss. I am eating my preferred foods at every point. I almost feel as if I am combining all the methods I've tried so far in my life: the Debra Waterhouse little & often method, the anti-grazing, systematic quality of No S (and the moderation/maintenance ethic), plus the emphasis on personal choice of Gillian Riley. Perhaps there's a little calorie-counting in there too, in that I've designed the quantities of food to stay moderate - I'm unlikely to accidentally consume excess cals as I often did on Vanilla. And given that there's no tension, I don't need to let off steam at the weekends. My S day chocolate binges were really unconstructive.

This feels like quite a breakthrough for me, though I recall in the past people reminding me that No S doesn't have to be 3 meals a day; it can be 5. I should have listened. :roll:

That's my news. Hope everyone is well! x

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Jen1974 » Sat Dec 05, 2020 11:00 pm

Octiva, me too on taking a little from a lot of different ways of eating to create a “plan” that feels good to me :D Sounds like you have hit a nice groove!! It’s good to “see” you here :D

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Soprano » Sun Dec 06, 2020 2:06 pm

I'm glad you've found your groove, it will be interesting to hear of your progress.

I think we all end up adapting our accumulated knowledge to suit ourselves on the end :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by automatedeating » Mon Dec 07, 2020 8:04 pm

We are a band of brave experimenters!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Dec 09, 2020 3:23 am

automatedeating wrote:
Mon Dec 07, 2020 8:04 pm
We are a band of brave experimenters!

Love this & I so appreciate everyone’s support of all my crazy ideas through the years.

I’m glad you’re figuring out what works for you Octavia ! 💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Wed Dec 09, 2020 9:54 pm

Great news! I am glad you are figuring out what works for you. Feeling good about your way of eating and not feeling like a failure is really important to long term sustainability I think. Also feeling comfortable with how you are eating and when you are eating. I am glad your experiment is going so well for you. Keep us updated as you can. :)

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jul 16, 2021 9:56 pm

A quick check-in to say that I am still alive! I have missed everyone, and have often wondered how you all are.

I stopped checking in a few months ago as I realised that I wasn’t really sticking to the principles of No S any more, and had run out of tweaks, alternatives, ideas. I’m still someone who eats healthily at times, overeats at times, sometimes exercises, sometimes doesn’t….and I’m not sure how to improve this. Perhaps I’ll do a little thinking on the boards over the next few days, check in with others and share a few ideas. Best wishes to all!

X

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:16 am

Great to hear from you! It’s a constant ever changing journey isn’t it? Hope you stick around. Things have been awfully quiet.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Sat Jul 17, 2021 5:04 am

Good to hear from you again Octavia
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Sun Jul 18, 2021 3:09 pm

Thanks, Linda and Ladybird - it is lovely to hear from you. I noticed that auto isn’t with us at present, and things do feel different without her.

Here’s my latest news, where fat fighting and body image is concerned! Weight is at its medium point - I’m about 5lb lighter than when I started No S all those years ago, but about 5lb heavier than when I’d had my first bit of success, which was doing Vanilla. But despite taking full advantage of the free drinks regime and the S days that come with Vanilla No S, I felt I had become rigid, controlled by an external plan, and a little bit lost. Since then I’ve tried various mods, but never really established lasting habits relating to the No S regime.

I’ve started to wonder if habits have to be very individualised, and they’re better being allowed to emerge, than enforced. So at present I’m just building on the best of my natural behaviours. I’m having a lighter and healthier breakfast and I’m walking lots: those things have become engrained. I put my weights out on the bed every day so I keep picking them up. And I weigh myself each morning, which helps to counteract any mental distortions about how I’m eating. Habits I need to work on include taking control of dinner, making sure it’s satisfying and balanced, and I’m doing that more. Cravings for sweet treats continue to be strong, but the WTH effect -that mindset of surrender and defeat - is a worse enemy, worse than the pounds themselves. In fact, I’d say that my current motivation is to be free of self-destructive behaviours and just to look after myself as well as I can.

I feel a bit of an imposter now, in that I’m not really following the main No S guidelines - though I’m still a believer in moderation and habit! And still learning from the experiences of others on the forum.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Mon Jul 19, 2021 3:05 am

I think that long term behaviour and habit change is a long term project. Reinhard was able to change his eating behaviour quickly, but he has had rather more difficulty with alcohol.

Personally I have spent many decades gradually changing my eating habits and trying various things. If I ate nowadays like I used to, I would be a lot heavier, less healthy and far less happy. I call that progress.

I have spent the last 6 months gradually increasing the amount of strictness in my eating habits, trying to find that happy point where I can slowly lose weight without rebounding. I have lost a small amount of weight, and my habits are starting to stabilize and become ingrained.

Your approach seems to be working for you. Good luck.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:58 pm

That’s very encouraging, Ladybird. I too look at myself and think yes, I have got better at both feeding myself and exercising. Slowly over the years, progress has been made! Just a little! :) And it’s good to be reminded that Reinhard’s journey was a different one.

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by oolala53 » Tue Jul 20, 2021 5:06 am

Octavia, what part do you feel is not No S? Choosing to have a lighter breakfast, if it's a meal, and a balanced dinner, is still No S to me. Or are you doing a lot of other eating besides breakfast and dinner?

Navigating WTH is a supreme skill. I think the best motivation is a truly believing that the combination of avoiding the damaging effects of food X, which is very different in my mind from being called "bad," and refusing to keep reinforcing the WTH neural pathways is the best life-affirming support worth developing. But it has to be so logical that there is less and less wrestling in the moment. I was at a dinner Saturday night at which a woman ordered and shared the kind of dessert I would have been sure to have a bite of, but after the last 18 months, I found myself looking at it with almost puzzlement at how little it made sense to me to have any of. She left behind half of her entree. I took half of mine home, and it did take some "work" to not keep picking at.

I sometimes can't believe I still have to give this mental energy, but here we are.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Wed Jul 21, 2021 1:22 am

oolala53 wrote:
Tue Jul 20, 2021 5:06 am

I sometimes can't believe I still have to give this mental energy, but here we are.
Well, we are fighting a few million years of evolution here in an unnatural food environment - something that I will try to remind myself of next time those unwanted cravings hit.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jul 25, 2021 6:28 am

No need to feel like an imposter. I haven’t done true nos in ages but everyone has been super supportive of my journey. I think what you’re doing sounds perfect. Slow little changes that feel good over time. Sounds like the spirit of nos to me!💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by oolala53 » Wed Jul 28, 2021 1:53 am

RE the million years, very good point! It reminds me of the opening of The Hungry Brain about a man who came from a subsistence culture who moved to an urban area and put on about 50 lbs. All his years of eating moderately and rather naturally, given his environment, did not prepare him for the effects of too much food and probably a lot of it ultraprocessed.
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1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Fri Jan 21, 2022 10:10 am

Hello all!
Thought I’d pop in to say hi to old friends. Not much going on regarding diet matters - I’ve regressed to my default system (what-I-call ‘Feed On Demand’) and have returned to a somewhat heavy weight. Some good habits have lasted though - the healthy breakfast, the exercise. But as for no snacks or sweets…ha! I seem to be too hungry to go without snacks and too craving-ridden to go without sweets. I keep on forgetting how the Vanilla method of using calorific drinks - sometimes quite yummy ones - used to really help me. Even if I was downing smoothies and milkshakes, I’d still be imbibing fewer calories than if I’d torn open a bag of tortilla chips and a block of Cadbury’s! It worked! I lost weight! Sigh. Somehow I didn’t/couldn’t keep it up.

But I digress. I’ve recently discovered the YouTuber Pahla B - I found her through her running/walking videos - and she has a rather good diet plan for women over 50. It’s based on moderation, especially where exercise is concerned - she argues that over-stressing the post-menopausal body can lead to the body clinging to its fat reserves. 20 mins a day, she recommends. Eating wise, she’s not a fan of snacking but is OK with calorie counting, as long as you are moderate. She’s emphatic about water consumption (a real weakness for me) and sleep (ditto), and working on one’s mindset. So….I’m giving it a go. It strikes me she’s compatible with a No S philosophy: moderation, habit, keeping it simple.

I was sad to read that Reinhard has been wondering about ending the forum. But not surprised really, as it must take so much work. At least there is the Facebook page, though I’ve been giving FB a wide berth for ages. Even now, I briefly opened it and was immediately confronted with the dread words ‘SO EXCITED ABOUT MY’

I quickly logged off again. :D :lol:

All the best to everyone!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 22, 2022 5:23 am

That last image had me, as they text abbreviated, laugh out loud. For health reasons, I have put myself in the past six months, environments where I'm there for the health and most of the others there have come because they heard (because it's often sold that way) that people lose weight, the weight, the weight. And there are big celebrations and congratulations about it, often what I consider prematurely. I think don't consider myself at a certain weight until I have averaged that weight for a couple of weeks. I feel bad suspecting there will be a big fall when weight doesn't go at the rate they want. Then there is the inevitable being talked out of their anger at themselves, or the process, and the often-paired despair. I hope I am not stepping on any toes. I assumed you shut off because you can't take the chirpy excitement and what else follows.

It sounds like you are going into this next supported venture -Pahla, meaning I guess there's some kind of structure there and maybe more company, which can shake things up. But I hope it somehow allows for starting with a pretty big cage for self-destructive behaviors. For the most part, I had an easier time being pretty lenient with S days and to some extent with N day plates until it felt right to keep shrinking the cage. At the same time, imagining the experience of having won over WTH- as well as what will happen if not-can be your North Star. Since you said before that the mindset of surrender and defeat was worse than the pounds themselves. Way more, I'd say. Sometimes I get resentful that it can still sometimes seem hard, but now it's because I really am more concerned with health, and I miss some of the fun of those sadistic foods/habits. But I know I can't go back to the kind of consistent overeating I did; it's just too painful to remember the self-flagellation, and for my health's sake, I can't justify it even if I could do it without judgement. I was lucky enough to have that seem really central to me just before No S, that I had to learn to find reasonable satiety, no matter what. I wish that for you. It is the only thing that makes it sustainable.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Mon Jan 24, 2022 8:54 pm

Yes, without satiety no eating plan will last long for most people.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:48 am

oolala53 wrote:
Sat Jan 22, 2022 5:23 am
Sometimes I get resentful that it can still sometimes seem hard, but now it's because I really am more concerned with health, and I miss some of the fun of those sadistic foods/habits. But I know I can't go back to the kind of consistent overeating I did; it's just too painful to remember the self-flagellation, and for my health's sake, I can't justify it even if I could do it without judgement.
I want to get to this stage. Where it’s painful to remember Feed On Demand.

Great to hear from you, Oolala and Ladybird!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Feb 03, 2022 12:04 am

Octavia! So great to see you here again!

Your Youtuber sounds interesting! I definitely don't even manage 20 minutes of exercise a day! As you may remember, exercise is one of my biggest strugggles. Interesting theory about not stressing the postmenopausal body.

I hope her structure and plan works for you!

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Feb 07, 2022 3:24 am

hi! just chiming in to say weighed in 4 or 5 months and it’s really nice. i’m just focusing on eating healthy & listening to my bodies cues (but not obsessively).

it is a hard call though. i do sometimes worry that i’ll gain weight without knowing it but trying the same jeans on every month or so could work too.

hope you’re feeling better. i sometimes have thoughts about how i haven’t achieved as much as i should have, but i realize this is just who i am & that’s okay. i think everyone has these thoughts. even my sister who is super successful, traveled the world , size 0 etc. she’s down on herself because she’s never run for office. 🤷‍♀️
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Fri Feb 11, 2022 1:22 am

Hi Linda - your last sentence about your sister made me laugh. IMHO, I would rather that the current mantra of being the best you can be was replaced with being happy with how you are. In Australia, if you tell someone that they would make a good politician, it is not really meant as a compliment.
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Octavia » Wed Aug 03, 2022 12:15 pm

Quick update and thanks as always for the friendly input from you guys. Sorry not to check in with you more often - it’s just a case of feeling I don’t have anything interesting to say much of the time - and the boring old everyday stuff, I put in my own journal. :)

However, I do have the ‘Shock News’ that I have lost almost a stone since I last checked in. :o I took (YouTuber) Pahla B’s advice to eat roughly the same number of calories every day - nothing too low - and I ate in a very habitual, regular way. I banned neither snacks nor sweets. I’ve had lapses when on holiday or unable to control my routine, but have treated these as non-weekend S days. I feel I’ve blended No S with calorie counting, as others have done, and it has definitely worked for me. I find counting unemotional and non-judgemental. I mostly rely on guesswork- I’m by no means ultra-precise - but it helps me stay real. There are days when I think I’ve eaten a lot, but when I do a rough count-up, I realise I haven’t. It helps to prevent WTH.

I hope what I’ve written here doesn’t trigger anyone who has a troubled relationship with calories or dieting in general. These things are all very personal, and I am lucky to have never suffered from very disordered or unhappy eating. For me, a simple weight loss goal, no strings attached, has been helpful. I know that for others, this might not be the case.

Anyway, that’s my news. All the best from Octavia Towers! X

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by ladybird30 » Wed Aug 03, 2022 9:12 pm

Great to hear that you are doing to so well and have found something that works for you.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Soprano » Thu Aug 04, 2022 5:29 am

Good to hear from you again. Congratulations on your loss.

Jx
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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by Amy3010 » Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:01 am

Great to hear from you and well done on figuring out what configuration of No-S plus something else works for you! I dare say there are a lot of us who have modified and combined No-S with other approaches to get things moving in the right direction. :mrgreen:

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Re: Octavia is finally checking in!

Post by pinkhippie » Thu Aug 04, 2022 6:32 pm

Congrats Octavia! Its good to hear from you and how you have been doing!

That honestly works for me too when I find Im not quite the weight I want to be at. The foundation of No S makes calorie counting much easier for me. Im happy for you with losing a stone!

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