Dawn's check in

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 2:11 pm

Been doing this since Feb 8, 2008. I have been doing very good, a few slips ups so I thought it would be good to start doing a check in.

today is VD (Valentine's Day) and there is a two pound box of See's chocolates on the kitchen counter. My son works there and he brought it home last night as a gift to the family. Isn't he sweet? Remind me to kill him later! I know the twins will want to tear into this AM before school but I will make them wait until they get home. I won't be tempted because that is just too blatant, the guilt would surely ruin the taste. I will however pick out three pieces and put them in the freezer and save them for S days.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:31 pm

Success! Got thru VD without a hitch. Fluke? Who knows? I am not going to over think it. I am just taking day by day, sometimes minute by minute. The thing that keeps me sane is the fact that I am working towards something that will make this easier rather than harder like with the other plans. I understand that once this is habit, it will be easier. The other plans, if they worked, only got me to a point where it was all about will power once you got back to "regular" food. Obviously will power is a problem for me, but I can muster up enough to get this habit thing instilled in me - or at least that's the plan.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:57 pm

So far so good. Of course my first weekend of getting serious about the no s would have to be TOM for me. I got lucky this was one of those TOM's where I have very little appetite and no cravings, this happens about 2 times a year, so good timing huh? So the weekend was pretty good. The only problem was I entertained all weekend so there were foods that I don't usually have in the house. Also there was social drinking, which is a gateway drug for me, leading to the hardstuff like cheese cake and cookies. But I was happy with how it went, or at least I was happy until the last few hours of the weekend, that's when that feeling of "oh crap, I will not be able to have sweets or a late night snack for 5 more days!!!!) So the overwhelming desire to "stock up" got me. But still I am focused on the habit forming portion of this plan and therefore it was a good weekend. And like many of you have written, it feels good to get back to the no-s days, as I feel more in control on those days. So this week I am really going to focus on eating my meals later so that my last meal will tide me over until bed time, since that 7 to 10 time frame is when I get a little crazy and really want something. But if I get seriously hungry I will eat 1/2 of my meal early and the other 1/2 later - which is what I needed to do last week with breakfast a few days and lunch a few days.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:41 pm

Yesterday had failure written all over it, but I did not fail!! Sucess!!

Worked all day on a stupid school project and was exhausted. So around 7PM when I usually have trouble staying out of trouble, I was really feeling like I deserved something special as a reward, something comforting. But I reminded myself that I just needed to hang on for a few hours, go to bed and tomorrow I would be fine - and I am. I did have a cup of sugar free hot cocoa, which I usually do. Coffee in the AM to get me going, and cocoa in the PM to wind me down. I know it's mental for the most part and some may put it into the snack catagory, but for the calories that I am getting in those, I don't feel it's a problem, but I will tweak that when tweaking time comes if I am still not losing weight. As for it being a bad habit, I don't think it is. And if I am kicking all of those other bad habits, then these 2 little ones should be OK. Overall, very happy with my Monday.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 4:00 pm

Sucess - no issues, but dinner was super yummy (damn my awesome cooking skills!), but I did not have seconds!

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:12 pm

Day 13 - success!!!! went out to dinner with a friend for B-day (which is actually tomorrow), I did good all day and told myself it could be an S day if when at the restaraunt I decided to have some of the chips and salsa or share a dessert with someone. But luckily the chips were just not that good (I did have one) and we ordered veg soup, which was excellent and super light, so it ended up being lighter than any dinner I would have had at home! Then of course my dorky friend had the staff bring me flan and sing happy birthday. Flan is about the only dessert on the planet that I don't like. So I had a great time, did excellent food wise and can call the day a success.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:14 am

Success all the way, so far. Made it through my birthday weekend just fine. Over did it on Sunday though. I think Sundays will be my tricky day. All week has been fine. I am mostly eating 5 small meals. Knowing I can have S's on the weekend keeps me going. Saturdays I notice is a transition day since I have conditioned myself all week, then by Sunday I know I have to wait all week so I go a little crazy. But if I can get it down to such a small window, then I really think I can do this! Feels good to get back to no S days - which I have heard a lot of people say.

apple · Post by **apple** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:01 am

I always go crazy on Saturday, with the "yay, it's weekend" feeling. How do you manage not to do that?

Keep up the good work!

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 4:55 pm

Today is day 21! I have had absolutley no problems at all, especially with N days, they are cut and dry and with my eating 5 meals a day, I feel like I get to eat when ever I am genuinely hungry and knowing that I can treat myself on the weekend helps keep me in line. Now I need to start making some changes so that I can get on the path to some weight loss. My husband and I have been trying to get our nightly walks back into the routine, but until daylight savings time starts up again it is hit and miss. I did walk yesterday at lunch time and it felt great. We had time to walk in the late afternoon, but I got a terrible allergy attack. Now the weekends, especially Sunday is on my list of things that need tweeking. My plan for this weekend is to do the normal N day routine, but have dinner foods that I normally avoid, like pizza. Also I will allow myself dessert. Because during the day it's not that hard and saying no to somethings isn't a big deal then, but it's later that I really want something and feel deprived if I can't have it, and that leads to failure. So that is the plan and I have a few days to drill it into my head so hopefully when the weekend gets here I will focus on the treats I am getting and not on what I am not allowing myself to do. This plan really high lights the fact that so much of what we do is habit and so many of my bad habits are easy to kick, and that only leaves me with a few that are not easy.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Fri Feb 29, 2008 4:09 pm

OK, made it 21 days without a slip up. I don't know if I am 100% in the groove since I feel I still spend too much time thinking about all of it. I really want to wake up and not have my weight and food be the first thing on my mind, but talk about a habit that I have had forever! But I do love the feeling of being in control and not wondering how will I do this once I am off of this plan. I will just keep doing what I am doing only do it better as I go along.

Weekend strategy is to have no strategy. I am going to take it as it comes and use my new found strength to make good choices. I want to be able to say to myself and my new friends here that I had a great weekend, had some treats but didn't eat, just to eat. Time to get that habit going along with my N day habit. Exercise has been hit and miss, but that's my life. All the more reason to keep my diet balanced and light.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Thu Mar 06, 2008 3:37 pm

Havenâ€™t checked in this week yet. Recap: Weekend was not good. It was hard because I had company all weekend and so the goodies where out and in front of me. I was in the kitchen the entire weekend. This weekend should be easier. My husband and I are finally going out to dinner to celebrate my birthday. So Saturday should be good because knowing I am going out for dinner and drinks, I think will help keep me in check during the day.

The good news is that I have gotten back to my walks. So between the fact that I never have trouble during the week with my S's and walking on a regular basis, I think that may be enough. But since I would like things to move along a little faster, I really need to get a handle on the weekend. So maybe my strategy of having no strategy is not that great of an idea. My main goal is too not overwhelm myself on the weekends but to find balance, and I guess it may take awhile. A lifetime of bad habits isn't easy to kick.

Oh, one more thing, I have not had my hot cocoa every evening, I am trying to kick that one and it seems to be working, by next week I will cut it completely.

I will weigh in this Saturday, but as of last Saturday I had not lost anything yet -oh well at this point, that is not the point at all, and rather than being discouraging, it's a relief to not worry about it, but still be doing the right things. - still such a strange concept to me.

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:50 pm

Although I have not checked in for nearly 2 weeks, it's pretty much the same story. N days are awesome, the exercise is happening, and my S days are not where I want them. One of the best parts of this is not feeling guilty all the time. I hate feeling guilty. But come Monday morning I find I do feel guilty and I find myself trying to calculate what I ate over the weekend, where I went wrong, and what can I do next weekend. Since I feel so good about 3/4 of what I am doing I guess I am up for a bit of a challange. Up til now I didn't want to challange myself, because I fear doing anything that resembles the aspect of the other plans that I have failed on. And that aspect is relying too heavily on will power. Some is fine and I use some everyday with not too much thought, but to rely on will power to carry me out of a dangerous situation is not going to work for a long term solution. But after reading more from RE and the others on the subject of getting S days under control, I am ready. First of all I have only used S days for weekends, I have not had the occasion in almost 6 weeks to do otherwise. Even my Birthday. Since I had lots of plans for my Birthday weekend I just didn't feel like using an S day on the actual day. But of course that was in the early stages of the plan and we all have strength then. But then again maybe I love the control that I feel on week days and I love knowing the guilt won't be there the next day and that subconsciencely keeps me "good" during the week. But let's face it, I have the kind of life where week days just aren't a problem, historically they have never been even when I was eating at my worst. Of course I would mindlessly munch in the evening, but wasn't too bad during the day for the most part. So weekends are and have always been the problem, that and night time - but I really feel good about night time now. I have only had the hot cocoa a few times over the last two weeks. So weekends are really only frontier to concur. So this weekend is a dilly of weekend to boot. Easter. Candy and more candy. So many ways of handling it have run through my mind, but I think the little s and big S is a good way for me for most weekends including this one. Saturday shouldn't be any different than most weekends but Sunday will be pretty much worst case scenario day. Saturday I WILL track S's - I may even count the calories to showcase how much extra I have eaten - this might be good for at least a few weeks. Sunday will be a capital S day and I will not hamper the day with counting, marking, or anything else. But I am hoping that since I have pin pointed this time period as the culprit of my stagnancy in regards to weight loss, I will pull back to a reasonable level - balance, it's all about balance!!!!!!

Dawn · Post by **Dawn** » Wed Apr 02, 2008 4:23 pm

Still doing great on N days. But after a failed attempt last weekend to get S days under control, I think I finally have a plan in place. What is the minimum that I can do to still make S days satisfying? Can I do my 3 meals and 1 or 2 treats each S day? Is not allowing mindless munching (even a small amount of it) a good habit or too restrictive? I still seem to have that all or nothing thing going on. When I know I'm in "nothing" mode like on N days I do great. But S days are too wide open. I guess I need to redefine what a "snack" and what a "sweet" is for me. I think a snack should be something like cheese and crackers and a glass of wine. But rather than just a nibble here and a cracker there, I need to make a little plate for myself so that there is an "end" to my snack. Same with sweets, rather than a handful of M&M's here and a slice of this and a hunk of that, I need to save that treat for late evening when it's most satisfying. It needs to be on a plate, one serving only, once it's gone, that is the "end" of the treat.

I will check in on Monday, hopefully with good news.