Moxie's 60-Day Check in

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon May 26, 2008 10:06 pm

I'm restarting. Too many vacations and NWS. I'm shooting for 60 days starting tomorrow. I don't have any celebrations or special events coming up so I am all set to do vanilla No-S.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed May 28, 2008 1:09 am

Day 1: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2&1/2

L: Salad with cheese & ranch

D: Two pieces of Ezekial bread & almond butter
Tortilla chips

Thank goodness for NoS. Today I woke up feeling fat and yucky. Before I would have immediately chosen some diet (probably randomly on my way to work), would have hated what I was eating and become even MORE depressed because I felt deprived and would be binging at this very moment. Instead I'm going to do some reading for work and go to bed.

After dinner I really wanted to keep eating but then I said "You can have WHATEVER you want for breakfast tomorrow! Anything at all! So there's really no need to eat right now."

And that was that.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Thu May 29, 2008 1:24 pm

Day 2: Success!

B: coffee with 1/2&1/2
yogurt

L: Salad with turkey, cheese & ranch

D: California roll & 1 piece tempura
beer & sake

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Fri May 30, 2008 12:37 pm

Day 3: Success!

B: coffee with 1/2 & 1/2
yogurt, toast with butter & hb egg

L: salad with turkey, cheese & ranch

D: Beer

Went out with a friend after work and had a few beers. Too full and tired for dinner.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sat May 31, 2008 12:54 pm

Day 4: Success!

B: coffee and 1/2
1 piece toast & 1 hb egg

L: chips & cheese

D: Champagne

I got fired yesterday right before my lunch break. So after dealing with all that I didn't end up being able to eat my 2nd meal until about 5pm, so I didn't have dinner. I wasn't hungry at all though (which I suppose isn't surprising!). I thought briefly about making it a S-day & having some ice cream, since surely being fired is a "Special" day

but decided I didn't really need it. Instead I reached out to supportive friends and family, had some good long talks, bought a bottle of champange to toast my freedom from a job that made me miserable and went to bed early. It was a good day.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 01, 2008 3:00 am

Day 5: N-Day Success!

B: Bottled frappucino

L: 1 piece pizza
3 garlic rolls & marina sauce

S: yogurt

D: vegetarian chili w/ rice & wasa crackers
english muffin with butter

I am going to the grocery store tomorrow so that I can try to stay on No-S now that I am not working and my schedule will be erratic. It will probably be a little more erratic, I'll see how it goes. May be more like 2 meals. I just want to at least stick to no snacks and no sweets on N-Days. I'm a little bit nervous. But I think since I'll be waking up earlier, after coffee I might just feel comfortable during the day with 2 meals.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:04 pm

Oops, I meant since I'll be waking up LATER I may only eat 2 meals.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:32 am

Day 6: S-Day Success!

B: Bottled frappucino

L: A few pieces of bread & cheese

S: 3/4 large pretzel with mustard

D: crackers & cheese

A little too much food at dinner. I'm a bit uncomfortable. I'm surprised I haven't been eating more sweets. But just haven't had the cravings for them.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:03 am

Day 7: Success!

B: coffee 1/2 & 1/2
yogurt

L: Salad with cheese and turkey and ranch

D: sausage with onions and potatoes, 1 piece bread

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:12 am

Day 8: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: salad with cheese and ranch and turkey

D: cheese and crackers

I am exhausted and stressed and weepy. I really wanted ice cream. I wasn't even hungry for dinner because I had a late lunch but I ate it anyway to stay on habit and protect me from bingeing. Now I'm too full. Ugh. I just want to go to bed.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jun 04, 2008 11:08 pm

Day 9: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: chips & cheese

D: crackers & cheese

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:59 am

Day 10: Thursday Success!

B: Coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: chips and cheese

D: Beer

Very late & big lunch so not hungry at all for dinner.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:39 am

Day 11: Success!

B: pancakes, hash browns, sausage, coffee & 1/2, eggs

L: 1/2 big pretzel

D: potato soup, english muffin with butter

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 3:08 am

Day 12: S-Day Success!

B: Bottled frappucino
yogurt

L: 1 piece white pizza
3 garlic rolls, marinara sauce

D: potato soup & tortilla chips
Ice Cream!

These meals didn't make me feel very comfortable- a little too much food. And I really just ate the ice cream because I could, not because I wanted it. It wasn't really worth it.

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:23 pm

And I really just ate the ice cream because I could, not because I wanted it. It wasn't really worth it.

yeah, I find myself doing this sometimes too

Blueskighs

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 09, 2008 12:33 am

Hi Blue!

Yeah, I'm definitely starting to notice that some food I think I want is not what my body really wants. It just doesn't have the same thrill now that the "excitement of deprivation" is taken out.

Day 13: S-Day: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2, yogurt

L: 2 pieces of Ezekial & almond butter

D: lentil soup & tortilla chips
1 piece wasa with almond butter & apple butter

S: Amy's spinach and feta pocket

Wow, I didn't really take advantage of my S-day at all. I ate a lot but not a lot of sweets. Hmmm....I'll see how this affects me during the week.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:44 am

Day 14: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
2 veg sausage patties, english muffin

L: 3 wasa crackers with almond butter & apple butter

D: 1 piece pizza
3 garlic rolls, marinara sauce

I haven't been eating salad because I didn't buy cheese for it. I had decided that I shouldn't be eating cheese and instead should be eating turkey. Well, now I'm just not eating any salad (meaning no vegies) at all because just eating turkey depresses me. So that wasn't a good decision! Off to get cheese tomorrow!

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:39 pm

Day 15: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L/D: spinach artichoke dip & chips
1/2 pulled pork sandwich, baked beans
1/2 mini corn muffin with butter
bite ribs & macaroni & cheese, coleslaw
margarita

My schedule was off that day & I did eat a bigger meal (although probably would all fit on one plate easily) but it wasn't a binge and I wasn't over stuffed so it's a success in my eyes.

Day 16: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L/D: salad with beans and ranch
2 beers

My stomach was not right that day and I was really not feeling up to eating much. Hopefully today I'll get back more on track with the 3 meals. It's just been a crazy time with interviewing and feeling stressed- which always affects my stomach. However, for me, as long as I'm eating meals and not bingeing it's a success!

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 2:40 am

Day 17: Failure

B: coffee & 1/2

L: 1 piece pizza
3 garlic rolls, marinara sauce

D: About 500 almond m&ms & mini pb cups

Later: shredded cheddar & english muffin

This has not been a good week and today was not a good day. This morning I had to break it off with a man who I love very much, and who I believe loves me, because I wasn't going to ever get what I wanted from the relationship and the bottom line is that we're not on the same page- not going in the same direction. I am devastated.

I also finished editing my book on Monday- after writing and working on it for 5 years. I made the decision to take some time while I'm unemployed to try to find a literary agent and actually follow that dream. Well today I started that process and I had all sorts of computer problems and printer problems and I just got so overwhelmed with the enormity of trying to make this happen. It just seems like the likelihood of ever getting an agent, let alone getting my book published, is so small that I wonder if it's even worth it. I have made a commitment to doing it but I am feeling so discouraged and weepy about the whole thing. It also doesn't help I'm sure that I think TOM is coming very soon. I'm just exhausted. In order to get an agent I will have to take some time away from the job search and in the meantime I am running out of money.

So I decided to have a total pity party tonight for 3 (me, the m&ms and the pb cups) because I am 37, single, unemployed, broke and following a dream that will probably never materialize.

Haha! Yes, I'm feeling VERY sorry for myself.

So I guess I'll just go to bed and start fresh again tomorrow. 3 meals, exercise and working on the agent search.

JillyBean · Post by **JillyBean** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:03 pm

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, Moxie. I hope you are feeling better today. Thinking of you...

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 3:45 pm

It just seems like the likelihood of ever getting an agent, let alone getting my book published, is so small that I wonder if it's even worth it. I have made a commitment to doing it but I am feeling so discouraged and weepy about the whole thing.

hey hey hey

it's incredible that you have completed your book! you have already done the "heavy lifting" of WRITING IT .. do not let yourself down on your agent search ... btw if you know anything about astrology, mercury is retrograde so don't take those computer and printer problems too personally

mercury goes direct, june 20 so hang in there and continue that agent search!

Blueskighs

fkwan · Post by **fkwan** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:26 pm

Moxie,

what is your book about?

f

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:28 pm

Oh, thank you Jill, Blue & Fkwan for checking in! Seriously your responses & support made my day.

I am feeling a little better and have gotten a lot of work done. I'll just keep walking through I suppose.

Fkwan - in answer to your question, my book is fiction and takes place in the UCLA fraternity/sorority system. It's sort of an "Oh how the mighty do fall" tale. Here's my silly little log line:

We sacrifice to maintain reputation
We sacrifice to maintain love
And obsession can destroy it all...

LOL! Yes, it's dramatic. But I've had a great time working on the book overall. I just really now want to take it to the end of the process, no matter what the outcome. THAT I have no control of.

Thank you all again!

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 3:30 am

Day 18: Success BUT BARELY...

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: salad with beans, cheese and ranch

D: chips & cheese
1 wasa with almond butter & apple butter

Time goes really slow when you're heartbroken.

I felt like I was waiting around most of the night, hoping I would get tired so I could go to bed. I definitely ate too much at dinner but I'm calling a success because I didn't binge and it was a finite amount with no going back.

I really need to make some plans with girlfriends for this week. I think that will help me through this.

fkwan · Post by **fkwan** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:19 pm

Moxie28 wrote: I really need to make some plans with girlfriends for this week. I think that will help me through this.

Most definitely. That's what I miss being out here in the middle of nowhere, the proximity of grrlfriends.

Good luck. Put the heartbreak in the book.

f

CatholicCajun · Post by **CatholicCajun** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:28 pm

fkwan wrote:
Moxie28 wrote: Put the heartbreak in the book.

f
That sounds like a good idea, would probably help with the healing process. God Bless.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:11 am

Thank you both for your kind words. It really does help so much.

Day 19: S- Day Success!

B: bottled frappucino
yogurt

L: 1 piece pizza, 3 garlic rolls and marinara sauce

D: chips & ranch dip, LOTS of ice cream
beer

The only reason this is a success is because there's no failure on S days. But this was a TON of food for me. I wasn't eating because I was hungry or even wanted food. I ate soley to try to change the way I was feeling. Didn't help much.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:39 pm

Day 20: S-Day Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: brownie
3 garlic rolls with butter

D: pistachios & beer
mini pb cups

Wow, I just realized that if I make it through Monday I will have 21 days on habit with only one failure. Wow! That makes me really proud of myself.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:45 am

Day 21: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: salad with cheese, beans & bc dressing

D: empenada

Yay! I made it 21 days with only one red square! I'm going to start another 21 days on Wednesday.

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:19 am

Moxie,

CONGRATULATIONS on your SUCCESS

Blueskighs

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:52 pm

Thank you Blue!

I really am excited.

I am feeling a lot more relaxed around food and finally making some healthier choices. I haven't weighed myself because I don't want to be emotionally affected if the number isn't what I hoped- but I know I've lost weight. I can see it in the mirror. I have been pretty good with the strength exercise (I do Callanetics which is like yoga & pilates) but not so great with the cardio. I'm not going to obsess about it too much though at this point. Callanetics is wonderful and really working well with my figure. I will focus on bringing in more cardio in the next few weeks.

So now, today, is the beginning of my second set of 21 days. I am also going to record Glass Ceiling (this is really something I want to work on as I know I've been drinking too much- nothing serious but too many late nights out with the girls. I really don't have the money or the stamina for that anymore! I would love to learn how to be moderate with alcohol so I want to make this a big focus for the next 21) as well as a personal goal which I'll call HT. I will be taking Friday, 4th of July as a NWS but I think that's all that will be coming up in this set.

Love this plan and love the people on this board!

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Thu Jun 19, 2008 1:49 pm

Day 1: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: Salad with beans, cheese & bc dressing

D: Indian lentils with rice

I changed my mind and have just decided to record NoS here. I like this thread for me just being about that. It keeps it easier to manage. The other things I'll record elsewhere.

I was just looking over my old check-in and it's amazing to me how much smaller my meals are now. Especially breakfast and dinner. I still do have a fear of getting hungry- but now that I'm not working it seems more manageable. I think I was afraid of getting hungry at work because I was so miserable and food became an emotional escape. I'm hoping this habit will be really well ingrained before I start my next job.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:19 am

Day 2: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: 1/4 of huge italian sub sandwich

D: spaghetti & meatballs

That's my check in for yesterday (Thursday). Today is Friday and I fear it's going to be a tough day. I literally got no sleep and am up about 3 hours earlier than normal. This concerns me because I don't want to get too hungry early and set all my meals back. If I eat dinner too early I get snacky afterwards. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:46 pm

Day 3: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: spaghetti & meatballs

D: Beer

Again one of those days where I ate a huge late lunch and just wasn't hungry at all for dinner.

Day 4: S-Day Success!

L/D: Taco Bell cheese/ beef quesadilla
beef mexi melt
nachos
taco

This was sort of spread out throughout the day.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:51 pm

Day 5: S-Day Success!

B: bottled frappucino

L: Yogurt

D: wasa crackers, brie, mozarella, tomatoes, basil
3 cookies

Not very happy at all with that dinner - which is probably why I had 3 cookies.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Jun 24, 2008 3:52 pm

Day 6: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: chicken with green beans & new potatoes

D: brie and rice crackers

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:40 pm

Day 7: Failure

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: 1 piece white pizza
3 garlic rolls with marinara sauce

D: ice cream
pieces of cheese

I'm very stressed out right now and definitely struggling with emotional eating. Wanting to just tune out from life. I'm still going to post though...I'm sure one day I'll get it right.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:44 am

Day 8: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: salad with cheese & bc dressing

D: 2 p. Ezekial bread, 1 p. wasa cracker
almond butter

Took everything I had to stick to the plan tonight! But I did!

sbay301 · Post by **sbay301** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 8:10 pm

Moxie28, I've had days like that.

Good going sticking with it yesterday. Tomorrow is Saturday and you don't have to try so hard.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:07 pm

Thank you sbay!

Some days definitely are harder than others.

I'm a little behind in my check-ins...

Day 9: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: Huge salad with cheese & bc dressing

D: Beer

Day 10: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
1/2 piece white pizza
3 garlic rolls with marinara

L: Other 1/2 p. white pizza

D: 1 3/4 pieces of pizza (plain & veg)

It was definitely a pizza day yesterday! But I actually stopped before just ravaging through whatever was on my plate & getting stuffed. I feel good about that.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:53 pm

Day 11: S-Day Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L/D: Huge cobb salad

Wow. I knew I could have dessert but opted not to because I was too full. Wow.

blueskighs · Post by **blueskighs** » Sun Jun 29, 2008 8:20 pm

Wow. I knew I could have dessert but opted not to because I was too full. Wow.

Moxie,

COOL

how is that agent search going?

Blueskighs

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:08 am

Hi Blue!

Thank you for checking in! The agent search is chugging along. It's going to be a much longer process than I thought so now I'm just sort of in a groove, working it in between my job search stuff. In some ways, knowing I can't possibly get it done within my original time frame has freed me from a lot of stress.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:14 am

Day 12: S-Day Success!

B: coffee & creamer

L: Bottled frappucino
6 cookies

D:2 english muffins
2 veg sausages, lots of cheese

I'm finding now that unless I'm using sugar for emotional reasons (like I did this morning) that I rarely want it. Interesting.

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Tue Jul 01, 2008 2:08 am

Day 13: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
trail mix

L: yogurt

D: curry vegetables & rice

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:49 am

Day 14: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2
yogurt

L: salad with cheese, garbanzo beans & bc dressing

D: 3 p. Ezekial bread with almond butter

Writer110 · Post by **Writer110** » Thu Jul 03, 2008 2:31 am

Day 15: Success!

B: coffee & 1/2

L: salad with cheese, garbanzos & bc dressing

D: 2 pieces of Ezekial with almond butter.

Feeling yuck and bloated tonight. Puffy. This may be because although I've been doing my Callanetics I haven't been doing cardio. I'm going to need to add that back in and see if it makes a difference.