buttercreampillow's Check-In

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:41 am

Thanks, Laura! Well, like you, I now have a job! I got it today. It's at a local law office that does bankruptcy law. That's the good news. The bad news is that the hours are very flexible and I can work at home. (That would be good news for anyone except somebody who needs more structure in her life!

) I think I'm going to have to set a wake up time for myself so that I can get my studying done as well as my work. I like your idea about slowly getting up earlier and earlier, but don't think I can spare the time. I guess I'll just have to go cold turkey and start getting up at seven. It's even been suggested that I put my coffee pot in my bedroom and set its timer so that the scent of coffee will wake me up! Having slept through a husband who snored, an alarm clock stands little chance of cutting through my dreams to wake me up.

On the diet front, I had my first red day today.

I was eating lunch at a restaurant with my new boss and another man that I'll be working with. I was trying very hard to listen closely to what my boss was saying. I had never been to a business lunch before. The waiter brought over a basket of little fried corn cakes. I watched my new boss take a corn cake and eat it. Then Mike took a corn cake and ate it. Then I took a corn cake and ate a couple of bites before I realized, "I didn't put it on my plate!"

In fact, my lunch hadn't arrived yet. So although I played a lot of mental games with myself about how it certainly WOULD have fit on my plate, I have to face the fact that I ate something that didn't go on my plate. Later, at supper, I didn't even try to plate my meal, so I have no idea whether anything would have fit on my plate.

Very sad to have broken my streak.

No S
Urban Ranger
Reach Out

howfunisthat · Post by **howfunisthat** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:50 am

Buttercream...

Let's think about this...have you been doing really, really well? Yup. You have. So...one red day certainly doesn't negate the rest of the great work you've done. Pick yourself up, brush off the crumbs and start over....you'll be fine. If I had told that story, you'd probably be FAR less hard on me than you are on yourself. It was a red day...and tomorrow will be green....and there will be far more green days in the future than red ones....

You're doing great...hang in there!!!

janie

frugaltexan · Post by **frugaltexan** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 1:54 am

Congratulations on the new job!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:15 am

Janie, you're a doll. Thanks so much for the encouragement!

I'm picked up, I'm brushed off, and tomorrow will be GREEN!

Texan, thank you! I've joined the working masses, which is why I'm in school in the first place!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Wed Sep 16, 2009 10:54 am

Buttercream, boy, am I ever behind on things! Congratulations on several accounts - your engagement and your new job! How fortunate to find work in your field while you continue your studies.

I like your idea about slowly getting up earlier and earlier, but don't think I can spare the time. I guess I'll just have to go cold turkey and start getting up at seven. It's even been suggested that I put my coffee pot in my bedroom and set its timer so that the scent of coffee will wake me up! Having slept through a husband who snored, an alarm clock stands little chance of cutting through my dreams to wake me up.

I think Laura gave you some very good advice. I also like the idea of waking up to coffee brewing - mmmmm! Remember, I'm a coffee person like you! You'll get it figured out, I'm sure. Don't spend any more time fretting over the corn cake...see what happened at your evening meal then? You have to *mark it and move on* immediately. Otherwise your diet head will rear its ugly head and the next thing you know, you've blown the entire day. That's been my experience anyway.
Best wishes for a long and happy llife with your new guy! Have you thought about a date yet? Keep us posted!

Mimi

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:08 am

Hi, Mimi! Nice for you to drop by! As for a date for our wedding, it's at least two years away, so we're just enjoying being engaged right now. Of course, I'll keep everyone posted.

Tomorrow I have to wake up early because it's my first day of work! As for today, I woke up at seven and then went back to bed several times and wound up getting up at 10:30.

I can't describe how the bed pulls me back in in the mornings. I feel a physical longing to get back in bed, and when I lie down and put my head on the pillow, I feel joy and well-being.

I feel embarrassed to be saying all this, but I've never before tried to put into words how strong my desire is to go back to bed. I always wake up drowsy and dizzy, never with any desire to get up. In fact, I almost look forward to getting older since I've heard that you wake up earlier when you're older.

Today was a shaky green, but it was GREEN, so that's that.

Here's a link to a picture of the ring. I can't figure out how to post the picture on here.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CREmixUeHJY/S ... ng+010.JPG

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 3:37 am

Don't believe it that we "older" ladies like to get up early!! Not this one anyway! I love listening to the schoolbuses go past in the morning as I snuggle under the covers! And then..I get to get up and drink coffee all morning and read the paper... these are the advantages of growing older, if you ask me!
I just received the no S book in the mail today..read it this evening and will begin a blog tomorrow (I hope). i was using this site for my info before the book arrived and thought I would get serious once it came.
Keep going... It sounds like doors are opening for you! Think of the great example you are setting for your kids!! You are showing them how powerful they can be! I believe you are heading for a "happy" you didn't even know was out there!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Thu Sep 17, 2009 12:28 pm

Here's a link to a picture of the ring.

Wow! What a beauty! I'm so tickled for you...enjoy a nice looong engagement - every minute of it!

Mimi

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 5:22 am

No S
*sigh*

No excuses.

I seem to be doing terrible lately with 2 red No S days and about a week of red urban ranger, but I really am committed. So why are things working out so badly lately? My whole life feels like its going through upheaval--some of it for good reasons, and some because of encroaching chaos.

This blog has got to be the worst roller coaster on the board. I'm up

I'm down

I still have my health, I have two great sons, I'm doing well in law school, my parents are still alive and vigorous, I just got engaged to a wonderful man, I have a new and interesting job, I love my sister and I haven't gained a pound since I started No S. There's a lot to be cheerful about--one red day isn't going to derail me.

Hello out there!

howfunisthat · Post by **howfunisthat** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 10:00 am

Buttercream...

This is just plain not easy! You're not just trying to eat less, you're trying to un-do all the myths about dieting and food that roll around in your head. You're developing new eating habits, throwing away old ones, and trying to do all that while still walking through the normal stresses of life. It's just not a piece of cake (ha ha...pun intended). I think of it like a set of scales...every time I have a green or yellow day I remove ten awful days from the other side of the scales....eventually the awful days will be completely gone & that scale will be balanced. It's going to take me awhile...I have a lot of awful eating days in my past....but every step in the right direction is wonderful.

You're doing really well...you really are...hang in there!

janie
P.S. I'm assuming that "Music City" is Nashville. We lived in Memphis for 7 years....I still miss sweet tea made correctly!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Sep 18, 2009 12:29 pm

buttercreampillow wrote: This blog has got to be the worst roller coaster on the board. I'm up I'm down

I still have my health, I have two great sons, I'm doing well in law school, my parents are still alive and vigorous, I just got engaged to a wonderful man, I have a new and interesting job, I love my sister and I haven't gained a pound since I started No S. There's a lot to be cheerful about--one red day isn't going to derail me.

Hello out there!

Helloooo Buttercream

It's normal to be up and down. I can't tell you how much my life improved when I accepted that! I finally realized have rhythms in energy... there are days I'm superwoman, and can get 120% of "normal" done. And there are days when I'm at about 80%, and am doing good to get through the day.

My problem was, I was setting all my goals at the 120% level, and beating myself up when I couldn't meet them on a normal day, much less an 80% day. When I realized that I have ebbs and flows in energy and started adjusting goals accordingly, life got a LOT easier.

And in fact, goal compliance got easier when I set my minimums much lower - something I could see myself doing even on a "low" day. If I did more, great. If I don't... well, 15 minutes of yoga is enough for me to have a green day on my habitcal. Even slow, relaxing yoga... which is probably what I need on a bad day! And while that doesn't sound like much, it's enough to keep the habit going, and over a week it does add up. Plus, when I do hit the "high" days, I'm ready to go, not starting from scratch again.

Didn't mean to make this "all about me," but hope that it relates to your life a little.

Also... your ring is lovely, and I am so glad for you.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:00 pm

Hi, Janie! Yes, you're right, there is a lot of bad habit to be overcome. I think that up until know I was just making it on the full head of steam I had because this was a new diet. You know the extraordinary willpower you have at the start of something new. Now it's not new any more, and I'm struggling. Plus, I've been in a kind of cocoon since I was mostly eating at home and able to legitimately have a meal when I became hungry for one. Now that I'm working and busier, plus my life is just going on, it's harder. It requires more conscious effort. Plus, I'm sort of wondering what I can do to actually see some change on the scale. I'm wanting to lose some weight for the wedding and honeymoon. Since I probably have 22 months until then, I have some time, but so far my numbers aren't really budging and I've been doing this for about a month and a half. Last night we went to Five Guys and I had a cheeseburger and fries, all legal on an N day, but not really the best choice. Plus, I forgot that you should order the little cheeseburger because the regular cheeseburger comes with two patties. Of course, once I got the regular, I ate the whole thing. Stopping before I've eaten the whole thing feels like that "eat when you're hungry and stop when you're satisfied" diet, which fills me with anxiety and resentment, so I can't do it. Well, this has gone on and on--sorry! Thanks for dropping by! And about the sweet tea, I love it too, especially with a generous squeeze of lemon!

Hello, KCCC! I see a lot of good sense in what you wrote. It's hard to admit that I can't be superwoman every day, but that's to ignore what I know about human nature, and what I know about myself. I love the idea about doing 15 minutes of slow yoga. It's really not realistic to imagine that I will walk 30 minutes at 11 o'clock at night after working and going to class. And taking the red on a day like that is so demoralizing, when really, I did great just to get through the day. 15 minutes of slow yoga would be something good to do for myself, not a penance. I guess the fear is that without a demanding program to follow, I would just wallow in mediocrity, or even failure, and get nothing accomplished. The self-help culture tells us that we should set high goals for ourselves so that we can overcome our natural tendency toward sloth and gluttony. But it's not a kind thing to set unreachable goals and then to be filled with self-loathing when we can't measure up. You are a wise woman, KCCC. Thank you for sharing that with me.

Yesterday was green. That's all I care to say about the matter.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:41 pm

Buttercream, I actually started a thread ("Keeping the minimum the minimum") based on what I wrote to you. I think a LOT of us struggle with that same dynamic. You might be interested in the responses to it.

And again... congrats on your happy news.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Sep 19, 2009 9:00 pm

Thank you, KCCC! I'm very happy about my engagement, and my fiance is, too. He's not DBF I guess, but DF. He was so cute shopping for my diamond--really took a lot of time with it and wanted it to be perfect. He's a doll.

I will definitely check out that thread. I think you're on to something!

buttercream

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:55 am

No S

*sigh*

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Sep 23, 2009 4:52 pm

Happens to all of us. Mark it and move on!

(Or, as Janie says, "pick yourself up and dust off the crumbs...")

Hang in there!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 1:27 am

It's only 8:15, but I'm giving myself a GREEN for today and considering the kitchen closed. Actually, after dinner snacking, although it used to be the bane of my existence, is not really my problem now. The real problem seems to be restaurants. I've had three red days, and two of those were linked to my behavior in restaurants. (Can't remember why I had the third.) And it wasn't even that I deliberately took seconds or something like that. It seems to be that being in the restaurant makes me anxious or overly excited, and I put things in my mouth without thinking about what the best way to order or arrange the food would be.

I did do one thing today which I'm not sure about. I had a half a bagel with peanut butter on the way to work and I brought an apple to eat with it, but didn't have time in the car to eat both. So I just ate the apple on the way home at 1:30. I'm not counting the apple as a snack since technically it was part of my breakfast that I just didn't get to eat, but if anyone who is reading this thinks I should have done otherwise, please let me know.

I felt like I had a big supper; some sushi, seaweed salad and two chicken tenders, but I feel very light and would have kept on eating if I hadn't been No S'ing. I guess that means I'm doing it right.

Now I'm off to see if I can find some kind of exercise video that I can do for 15 minutes. I really want to get back into the green, after being red for so long. Really, this working is throwing a big wrench into my life! I was under a lot of pressure before because of law school, but now I'm also way too busy and harried. I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep this up.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Thu Sep 24, 2009 4:48 pm

buttercreampillow wrote:It's only 8:15, but I'm giving myself a GREEN for today and considering the kitchen closed. Actually, after dinner snacking, although it used to be the bane of my existence, is not really my problem now...

Wow, that's quite an accomplishment! A long-term habit changed. You go, girl!

(And yeah, there's always something else, isn't there? The nice thing about No-S is that it's always easy to zero in on the current problem. Knowing is half the battle!)

Be gentle with yourself, and do what you can do. Set minimum goals and keep them faithfully...over time, your goals will grow along with your capacity to meet them. It's okay to start where you are now, with whatever will work with the life you have.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Sep 25, 2009 5:20 am

KCCC, you are so kind. Just reading the words "Be gentle with yourself" has a calming effect. Normally I have those self-critical words clamoring to be heard all the time, at least as far as eating goes. I still have the association in my mind between virtue and harsh extremism. I think I can only be "good" if I am simultaneously enduring painful deprivation. And anytime I'm enjoying eating something, it must mean that I am being "bad." That diet think is hard to get rid of!

Mercifully, today was a relatively calm GREEN day. I'm thinking about making a mod that by oversleeping, I also sleep through breakfast. No waking up at noon and then eating breakfast at 3 p.m. or even 10 p.m. I don't always do that, but sometimes I do. It seems like the wrong thing because I'm not burning any calories while I sleep in, so it's like I have an extra meal, even though I'm only having three. The only thing wrong with this plan is that it seems rather punitive. Since I scold myself a lot for sleeping in when I should be awake and accomplishing things, I'm afraid if I force myself to lose a meal, I'll feel like I'm punishing myself. That would be turning myself into my own worst enemy, and I need to be my own cheerleader instead. I'll have to think about this.

Work tomorrow. I'll take a lunch. I would love to take salami, provolone and mayonnaise on garlic bread, but I'm afraid my breath would be so stinky that no one would want to get near me! I guess it'll be peanut butter and jelly on regular bread.

No S - GREEN
Urban Ranger - GREEN
Reach Out - Exempt

frugaltexan · Post by **frugaltexan** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:18 am

How late do you stay up? If you're getting up at noon, but not going to bed until 1 or 2, you still could have 3 meals and be okay I would think. Even if you're not staying up till that time, maybe you could adjust the size of your plates according to what time you get up. You'd still get your three meals, but just a smallish bit less (on a day you get up at noon and go to bed at 10 for example.) It seems like it is the habit of the three meals which is important to maintain - so I would keep maintaining the 3 meal habit while working on the hours awake habit.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 5:06 am

Laura, that's a good thought. I normally eat on a smaller plate, but use the bigger one if I feel like it. I like the idea of having a smaller meal but still having three a day. Unfortunately, when I sleep so late, the third meal sometimes winds up being at 11 p.m., which I think is too late. If I eat all three meals at the traditional times, I don't find myself struggling to keep from eating at night, but if I know I still have a meal coming I usually cave and have it late. One additional wrinkle is that when I wake up I usually just drink coffee for the first few hours, so when I sleep until noon I usually don't eat anything until 2:30 or 3, which is REALLY bad!

I really think that the best thing for me would be to establish a regular time to wake up and stick to it. If I always woke up at seven I would eventually get sleepy earlier and my days and nights would be more normal, not to mention the more things I would get done if I had more hours in my day. (Although I stay up late, I don't get much accomplished after supper. I'm very awake, but that seems like leisure time, so I don't work.)

I'm sorry to bore anyone who reads this with my dumb problems, but this is truly something I have struggled with all my life. Just like eating, there is a lot of guilty pleasure about sleeping late (binging) and telling myself that I don't really care, and then self-recrimination once I do get up (end the binge). Once in college I knowingly slept through a standardized test that was required to start teacher's ed, so I wasn't able to take the classes or get my teaching certificate. When I'm depressed, I sleep even more. I guess eating and sleeping to excess aren't the worst habits I could have, but they aren't making me happy.

No S
Urban Ranger
Reach Out

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:49 am

Drove the kids to band this morning, and then came home and went back to bed until noon.

I am really embarrassed to tell this on myself. Obviously I'm a glutton (30 pounds overweight) and now I'm admitting to sloth as well. Yuck.

Eating was fine. I did eat two sugar cookies, but I really didn't enjoy them. Then after dinner I had some curried fruit, but I found it too sweet and buttery, so I stopped eating it. Then I thought I would have something else, and went into the kitchen and got out a dish and a spoon, but then I thought, "Hey, I'm starting to binge. I don't want this." So I put the dish away and went back in the living room. I'm pleased that I recognized that, but I also think that I've got to eat slower so I don't eat a whole serving of something before I realize that I don't really care for it.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 12:21 pm

buttercreampillow wrote:Drove the kids to band this morning, and then came home and went back to bed until noon. I am really embarrassed to tell this on myself. Obviously I'm a glutton (30 pounds overweight) and now I'm admitting to sloth as well. Yuck.

You could turn that into an S-day exercise "treat", you know. Exercise every N day and if you wanna be a slug on the occasional S day, go for it!

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:41 pm

Hi Buttercreampillow,

Glad the 15 minute thing is working for you. And glad to hear that you want to be your own "cheerleader" instead of "worst enemy" - I think No-S really encourages that attitude (or maybe highlights where it's needed) and the change affects MUCH more than eating!

I like Noel's idea about making sleeping in an S-day-like treat.

My goal for all new habits is "five of seven" (that sounds like a Star Trek Borg character name, which amuses my geek side). Basically, if I keep the habit five days out of seven, I'm good. I often end up keeping seven of seven days, but having the little bit of wiggle room removes the pressure of perfectionism.

On mealtimes... can you establish regular mealtimes (or mealtime time-ranges) and just stick to them, whatever your sleeping habits? Or would that make you feel punished? Would having a larger "brunch" help? Just brainstorming - do what will work best for you.

You're doing a really good job of sticking out a rough time, which is a strong indicator of long-term success.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 7:51 pm

Noel, that's kind of what I'm thinking. I wouldn't be able to deal if I thought I had to get up at 7 every day for the rest of my life, but maybe I could if I knew I could sleep in on S days.

Also, KCCC, that would work for No S, too. On N days I could get up at 7 and eat breakfast normally. On S days, I have more freedom, so I could eat to suit a day when I slept in. In other words, I could eat breakfast whenever I woke up and could just go from there. If I ate lunch at 4 and supper at 8 or 9, that would be okay. Does this make sense?

One thing I have noticed is that I'm eating a lot more apples than I used to. In fact, I used to think I didn't like apples. I always felt like they were some kind of distasteful diet food that somebody was making me eat, and they only made me hungry again in an hour. I think that's because whenever I was hungry on a diet, diet think (or my mother) would say, "Have an apple!" I didn't want an apple. I wanted a meal. So I would resentfully eat the apple, which not being what I wanted was not satisfying, and then because I was still hungry would not hold me any length of time, and so I concluded that I didn't like apples. It didn't help that the only apples available to me as a child were those awful Red or Golden Delicious, which are like wood, or Granny Smith, which I find too tart, so my memory from my whole life was that I didn't like apples. As an adult I started buying Fuji or Jazz or Honeycrisp for my son who likes apples, but I still considered them on par with rice cakes.

Now that I'm No S'ing, I'm trying to add fruits to my meals, and discovering that I like apples as a PART of a meal. They are convenient, easy to keep on hand, no prep, healthy foods, and good varieties are delicious. They also travel well. And not being exotic, they are available out of season.

I would love to discover that I felt this way about vegetables, and to a smaller extent I'm rediscovering baby carrots. They have a nice crunch, which at one time would have seemed like complete b.s. to me since the only crunch I thought wasn't a penance was the crunch of potato chips.

This has been a long, and likely boring to anyone else, dissertation on apples, but there are two main points: 1) diet think confused me about which foods are good and which are not. I thought diet English Muffins, which are like cardboard, were good, and that apples, which can be really good, were bad. Also, 2) any food I am forced, or feel forced, to eat, I will resent and dislike. Also, 3) I have a lot of pent up resentment at foods and the people or programs that made me eat them!

(Except my mother, whom I realize was just trying to be helpful, and being a lifelong skinny, she could have no idea of the power and merciless quality of diet-think.)

That's all for today, except for the passing observation that I think I prefer having a small quantity of really good granola rather than a larger quantity of oatmeal, even optimized oatmeal jazzed up with nuts and dried fruit. I like realizing what I really think instead of just accepting somebody else's opinions.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:51 am

Today was a good day, but for some reason I was hungrier than normal. I wound up drinking a half glass of milk in the afternoon, and another glass at night. But I didn't snack. Oh, no, I forgot--a girl in my class brought me a small bag of figs from the tree in her yard. She wanted my opinion on whether they were ripe so that she would know whether to pick some for me. I felt obliged to answer her question, so I did eat one little fig. But I'm not taking a red over one tiny fig, so green it is.

I cooked a mess of collard greens today with smoked turkey wings. I couldn't stand greens when I was a child, and now I can't get enough. I love them with cider vinegar and I feel so virtuous when I eat them!

(Plus, the produce manager at the grocery gave them to me for free because they had been out of turnip greens for so long!)

Also, honeycrisp apples are here! We now have a kitchen full of apples.

And today is the day to bake friendship bread, so it's in the oven now. (Yes, at 11:45 p.m.)

I talk about food a lot on this journal. I like food. Especially now that I can enjoy it happily instead of seeing it as a source of guilt, resentment, frustration and all sorts of unhappy emotions. My sister, who is thin but has to diet perpetually to maintain it, once told me she keeps her weight off by thinking about every bite of food that she puts into her mouth, "This can make me fat." How sad.

Also, I'm interested that I said "I like food," not "I love food." I might say with hyperbole, "I love lasagna" or "I love homegrown tomatoes," but I don't love food. I love my family, and my cat, and my God, and my friends (not in that order), but I like food. That is true, and that is a relief.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:36 pm

buttercreampillow wrote: I talk about food a lot on this journal. I like food. Especially now that I can enjoy it happily instead of seeing it as a source of guilt, resentment, frustration and all sorts of unhappy emotions. My sister, who is thin but has to diet perpetually to maintain it, once told me she keeps her weight off by thinking about every bite of food that she puts into her mouth, "This can make me fat." How sad.

I used to be like your sister - that's how I maintained my weight for years. I describe it now as "an armed truce with food." Very joyless.

One of the reasons I love No-S is that it has given me permission to enjoy eating. What a concept! I bake on weekends now. I make pies, and cookies. I never used to "allow" myself to do things like that! Homemade bread is commonplace in my house.

The funny thing is that as the quantity goes down and the quality goes up, I am MORE satisfied than I ever used to be!

So, preach it, buttercreampillow! I talk about food a lot too. And it's okay.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:44 am

Another sleep in day, which is really awful.

As for No S, I had a good day. No breakfast, of course, but there was a reception after work at a legal women's group and I passed it up because I didn't want cheese cubes and cookies to be my dinner. I just had a glass of wine and waited until I got home to eat chicken salad, garlic bread and collard greens. This garlic bread isn't the normal thing. This is french bread with whole cloves of garlic baked into the bread. When you eat it, it's like eating bread spread with roasted garlic cloves. Yum!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:28 am

I did NOT sleep in today! Yay!

What I did was eat an oversized dinner. It all went on one plate, but I used the big plates from my dishes. I had felt cheated about my breakfast (tasty granola, but eaten out of a ziploc as I inched along in traffic) and lunch (decent lunch, but eaten in a dreary conference room while looking at Esquire magazine because I forgot to bring a book and didn't have internet). Basically, I felt like I didn't get to enjoy my breakfast or lunch, so I semi-consciously vowed to make up for it by having a big dinner. I had collard greens, baby carrots, some walnuts and a small salami sandwich. It seemed like a lot, and I felt bloated after I finished. I wish I had stopped before finishing the whole thing, but one bad thing about the plate business is that I feel obligated to clean my plate every time. Plus, that "eat when you're hungry, stop when you're satisfied" diet made it almost impossible for me to stop eating when I feel full--I feel anxious and stressed about stopping (maybe the worst effect of diet-think ever). Anyway, I ate the whole thing, but afterwards instead of collapsing on the sofa, I went for a short walk and went to see a friend who is sick (cancer). That took my mind off the food and made me feel a little better physically, too.

I don't know what I could do to enjoy my meals more on the days I work so that I don't get that "cheated" feeling. It's obvious that just getting up in time for work is a major achievement for me, so getting up earlier to eat a nice breakfast is obviously out. I could try to remember to bring something pleasant to read, and also, now I can have internet, so that could help with the lunch, but I have no where to go except the dreary conference room, which is also where I do all my work, so it's not even a change of scenery (tiny office). There is no place outside where I could eat except the parking lot. (BTW, the worst is when I'm still working in the conference room and my boss comes in to eat his lunch. I try to ignore the sounds of him smacking his lips over some kind of tub of soup heated up in the microwave. Yuck.) I don't know what to do here. Suggestions?

It's late. As much as I like writing about food and No S, I've got to head to bed. Goodnight!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Oct 02, 2009 4:35 am

I slept late today.

Eating-wise, it was a good day. I was too busy studying for class tonight to do any eating outside of meals. And included in my day was walnuts, steel cut oats, apple, banana and collard greens.

And now, just because I can, the Wigwam Motel:

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Oct 03, 2009 3:52 am

I'm loving that I can now post pictures!

Today was a work day, and I didn't sleep in, so good for me!

Food-wise, it was a success, but I wish I hadn't used such a big plate for dinner. When I get home from work, I think I'm looking to treat myself after working all day, so I use a big plate. Who on here used the phrase "a misguided attempt to self-nurture?" That seems to be what it is, and I've done it twice now. What I really want and need is to sit down and relax my mind for a little while, not use a big plate and eat to the point of uncomfortableness. Anyway, today was still green, and I think I will remember in the future that I'll be happier with a little plate.

I did manage to get up in time to sit and have a bowl of Grape-Nuts with dried fruit for breakfast, and it was very good and held me until lunch. Much better than eating in the car, and I love Grape-Nuts. Also, I had a nice peach with lunch.

S day tomorrow, but I don't know what I'll have. Every time I think about S days, I imagine eating some wonderful dessert, like a fancy piece of cake, but so far it hasn't happened. I don't have time to bake a great cake just so I can have one piece. I guess I need to go out and get one at a restaurant somewhere.

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:54 am

buttercreampillow wrote: Who on here used the phrase "a misguided attempt to self-nurture?" That seems to be what it is, and I've done it twice now. What I really want and need is to sit down and relax my mind for a little while, not use a big plate and eat to the point of uncomfortableness...

S day tomorrow, but I don't know what I'll have. Every time I think about S days, I imagine eating some wonderful dessert, like a fancy piece of cake, but so far it hasn't happened. I don't have time to bake a great cake just so I can have one piece. I guess I need to go out and get one at a restaurant somewhere.

In answer to your question, it was KCCC who figured out that overeating was simply a misguided attempt to self-nurture. Her realization really struck a chord with me too because I recognized that I had been guilty of the very same thing. She also practices yoga...relaxing for the mind and body. Recently she posted about finding a three-breath meditation...maybe we need to ask her about that!

Yoga is out for me for awhile, but I can do deep breathing!
Before I was confined at home, on S days I would not settle for *junk*. It had to be the best...a cookie from Panera Bread - I recommend the toffee nut, is worth going for. And for me, a small Blizzard from Dairy Queen.
BTW...where is the Wigwam Hotel? I think we have passed that somewhere in our travels across the country. Is it in Tennessee? I can't recall.
Hope you have a great weekend and enjoy your esses!

Mimi

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:50 pm

Hi, Mimi! Thanks for stopping by. I was just reading your check-in last night, but not being much of a knitter, didn't feel I had anything intelligent to contribute.

About the junk food, the more I become a natural eater, the less interested in junk I am. I love that I'm becoming more selective, rather than longing to eat that stuff just because it's forbidden by some diet program. (That kind of thinking is so juvenile ("You can't stop me! I'll eat whatever I want!") but I've thought that way throughout my entire dieting life, which is practically my whole life.)

I, too, think that KCCC is wise. And you are, too! My No S friends are important to me, although I don't talk about you all to my real time friends because I don't think they would "get it."

The WigWam Motel is in Cave City, Kentucky, near Mammoth Cave. I went there with Fiance this summer.

Have a good weekend, Mimi!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 5:12 am

Good day today. More Grape-Nuts, some fruit, a bowl of soup and then a special treat! Dutch Apple Streudel Cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factory. I couldn't eat all of it. It was good, but it wasn't as mouth-wateringly fabulous as I imagined it would be. Either it wasn't the best choice, or that kind of food just isn't the be-all, end-all that it once was. Or maybe because I can have what I want, food's pull over me isn't as strong as it once was. It's strange.

Good day.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:06 am

Basically a good day, but then, all S days are a good day!

I ate carefully for most of the day, but then went to the grocery to do my weekly shopping at supper time, which I shouldn't have done because I was starving when I got home, and supper wasn't made yet. I had planned to make vodka sauce for pasta that we could eat during the week, too. I had a piece of cheese and some walnuts to tide me over. Then I tried one cracker from each of two boxes of new crackers that I bought at the grocery. And I drank a glass of wine. Then when the pasta and sauce were ready, I had a big plate. That's not exactly moderate, but it wasn't just crazy wild, so I guess it's okay.

All in all, good day.

TexArk · Post by **TexArk** » Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:32 pm

I just wanted to respond to your comment in the general discussion board concerning Vanilla NoS. I think you made a great self discovery when you said that you do best following someone else's rules. I agree completely. That is exactly where I am. If I made the rule, then I can change the rule. I am in my early sixties and am still battling the overeating issues. I do not lack information. I could write volumes. I, too, was successful on Weight Watchers because I had "outside" structure to follow. It just became too much after several years to maintain with all that accounting. I am struggling with NoS my second time around and I think it is because I have tried to tweak it here and there. So for me, it is back to strict Vanilla NoS and I do not have permission to change the rules. Maybe we are supposed to be more mature than this, but I think understanding yourself and how you think and also how you sabotage yourself or set yourself up for failure is great introspective thinking.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:08 am

Thank you for your post, TexArk. We seem to be on the same wavelength. I don't dare tweak No S for fear that not only would the tweak fail, but the whole No S structure would crumble around me and I might never be able to build it up again. If I ever added anything of my own, I would be making the whole thing my own, and as such, it would fail.

To go along with this, I also can't give myself any leeway in how I apply the rules of No S. I have to be very strict with myself. If I don't, I'm again making up the rules myself--it's like a tweak, and would endanger the whole structure.

Being this way is embarrassing. It makes me feel like a child to admit that I need someone to stand over me with a ruler, enforcing the rules because I can't enforce them myself. I would much rather be some self-motivating person who was the captain of her own destiny, or at least, the captain of her own diet!

However, since I can't be this person, at least I realize it and can leave well enough alone with No S.

Now if only I could find an outside program to keep me from oversleeping! That problem continues. I wonder if I should see a counselor? That seems extreme, but the problem worsens.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:40 am

Today was a good day. Grape-Nuts with dried fruit, sandwich and apple, pasta and broccoli. I've changed so much. I was actually a little bit excited about having steamed broccoli with a little butter and salt! That is so bizarre. I used to think I hated broccoli. I'm glad there's some left over for tomorrow.

I made a slight mod in my kitchen yesterday. I moved the plates around so that the big plates are in the back and the little ones are in the front. I'm free to use either one, but I just wanted to remind myself about the little ones since I sometimes forget, mostly when I'm hungry. I want food and I think I need a lot of it. But whenever I use the big plates, I feel stuffed and uncomfortable. This will just help me remember that the little plates are enough.

I haven't lost any weight yet, although I've almost been doing this for 2 months. At the one month point, I weighed and was very discouraged. Now I'm weighing every day or so, but I'm not discouraged because I can see changes in my eating patterns and likes. I'm eating less food than I used to, and it's different food. I think I'll eventually see weight loss if I just don't get discouraged.

Tonight I had a rare burst of energy and cleaned out my closet. I got rid of all the size 4's, 6's, and most of the 8's. I don't know when I'll see those sizes again, if ever, and I get discouraged looking at the tiny clothes. Getting rid of the little clothes is a way of making peace with my body that feels good. Plus, I filled 14 garbage bags with clothes that I can take to the Goodwill. My closet has never looked so roomy or organized. The only bad thing it that now it's quite late at night, and I'm wide awake!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:56 am

Well, I made the mistake of telling my parents how I'm liking No S and about some of the changes it's making in me. That led to me being self-conscious about how I eat and not feeling as relaxed and peaceful about food. Also, I ate a rather "diet-y" lunch, which I didn't find very satisfying, I think because I was so self-conscious about food after talking to them. I'm trying to just keep going, knowing that the peaceful feeling will come back in a day or two. Why should voicing aloud what has been in my head make me feel so unnatural? At least I didn't react by binging!

As a result of telling my folks, my dad, who is the dieter in my family rather than my mother, who has been slim all her life, decided to go on No S. I loaned him the book. When I saw him at church supper tonight, he headed off to the salad bar with a little dish for fruit. "You're supposed to put it on the plate," I said. "With my spaghetti? No, there's hardly any calories in this cantaloupe," he said. He doesn't get it, and my attempts to explain were wasted. "It takes up room on your plate that would be occupied by spaghetti," I said, but it was for naught. Oh, well, he'll either read the book and get it, or he won't and he'll conclude it doesn't work. I can't diet for him. (Or being a man, even if he does it all wrong, he'll probably lose weight anyway, while strict little ole me loses nothing!

)

After getting so jazzed up about the big closet project last night, I slept very lightly and was still pretty jazzy when I woke up this morning. Then about mid-afternoon it all caught up with me and I had a slump. Now I'm pretty tired, but still have to make the boys' PB & J's for tomorrow's lunches.

I walked this morning, which was good. Besides all the other reasons to exercise, I have another--if I don't, my back will start aching. That pain is a pretty good motivator.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 4:22 am

For once I'm too exhausted to blather on and on.

GREEN day, but otherwise a bad day.

Better luck tomorrow.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:28 am

Hope it's a better day today.

Congrats on keeping green under stress!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 9:19 pm

Thank you, KCCC. I think today is a little better.

There is not enough good food in my house. There are hardly any leftovers, and I haven't been to Trader Joe's lately, or even the grocery. I need to do something about that.

Under my doctor's supervision I have stopped taking a very expensive medication that I used to take and can no longer afford, and I'm exhausted and a little loopy all the time. I'm drinking coffee all day, but it doesn't seem to help at all.

Later--still exhausted, and this is usually my lively time. I hope my body will go ahead and get acclimated to not taking that medicine. I don't know how I can study this way, and I have a mid-term Thursday.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:16 am

Another exhausted, loopy day. All the coffee in the world doesn't help. I can't study and I can't concentrate. And I can't drive. I can't wait for this to be over.

EXEMPT.

frugaltexan · Post by **frugaltexan** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 5:00 am

I hope your body readjusts soon, or you find a better solution. {{{buttercreampillow}}}

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:53 am

Thank heaven, that medication has worn off and I've adjusted! Thank you, too, Laura, for your concern!

I'm having some sleep problems now, but the exhaustion and loopiness is gone. Just in time--I have a mid-term Thursday.

Green today and yesterday!

And now, to bed...

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:57 am

Well, after another awful morning, I finally came out of it about 3 p.m. I was not prepared for the mid-term, so I don't think I measured up to my own standards, but it's over, so I'm just going to move on.

I have talked a lot on here about how sluggish I am in the mornings and how much I oversleep. Since I stopped taking that medicine, I haven't been that way. Of course, I'm not sleeping too well at night either, but at least in the morning I'm merely tired, not practically comatose like before. I'm hoping I can get the sleeping back to normal, but lose the extreme grogginess forever.

I am pleased to note that even though this adjustment has been a VERY rough couple of weeks, I only had green days on No S. As bad as I felt, I never thought seriously of eating something to make myself feel better. That is a major change in my habits. Now I just need to figure out some other ways to self-nurture that would make me feel happy and relaxed.

I'm having my supper now, and it's apple, cucumber and plaintain chips. My son said, "That looks like you're on a diet." The difference is that I FEEL like eating this way, instead of being forced to eat this way and resenting it.

Hello, friends!

howfunisthat · Post by **howfunisthat** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:24 pm

Hi Buttercream,

I stopped in to say "hi" since I've been gone for about 2 weeks. I went to see my son at college - which was a wonderful visit- and then I'm not sure what happened...I just stopped wanting to think about how I was eating for another week & a half. The funny thing is though, I don't feel guilty about it. I didn't eat well...oh well. Now I'm back on track & I'm just not worried about it. My current goal is to have more green days in October than I racked up in red ones. The reason I'm writing all this is that it seems that we're on similar paths...that the internal changes are happening. I'd love to be losing more weight, but I'm thrilled at my eating habits changing from the inside out. It's an odd feeling, isn't it?

Anyway....you're doing great!!!

janie

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:08 pm

buttercreampillow wrote:
I am pleased to note that even though this adjustment has been a VERY rough couple of weeks, I only had green days on No S. As bad as I felt, I never thought seriously of eating something to make myself feel better. That is a major change in my habits. Now I just need to figure out some other ways to self-nurture that would make me feel happy and relaxed.

I'm having my supper now, and it's apple, cucumber and plaintain chips. My son said, "That looks like you're on a diet." The difference is that I FEEL like eating this way, instead of being forced to eat this way and resenting it.

That is a HUGE accomplishment! Wow!!

Hope that the medication change really does help your overall sleep patterns. That would be a real bonus!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:07 am

Hi Girls!

Janie, welcome back! I'm glad to hear that you aren't putting a lot of guilt on your shoulders for taking a little break. Yes, we're the internal changes bunch! The scale isn't budging, but I'm feeling and acting different. I will be 45 in a couple of weeks, and I've always heard how difficult it is to lose weight at this time of life. Could that be what is happening to you?

KCCC, thanks for your encouragement! I'm so happy with No S that I know I'll be eating this way for the rest of my life. Truly, however, I don't know how to do something nice for myself any more. I am so used to treating myself with food. With class and work, I don't have time for manicures or a trip to the bookstore. Eating is just such a fast, cheap treat! I'll just keep thinking about it. As for the sleeping, I'm still adjusting, but it would be great to be a little more lively in the morning.

Today was a good day, but I ate some cough drops. Both my boys and I have coughs. I didn't deviate from N day behavior except the cough drops, so I'm just going to call this an N day.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Sat Oct 17, 2009 1:39 am

buttercreampillow wrote: KCCC, thanks for your encouragement! I'm so happy with No S that I know I'll be eating this way for the rest of my life. Truly, however, I don't know how to do something nice for myself any more. I am so used to treating myself with food. With class and work, I don't have time for manicures or a trip to the bookstore. Eating is just such a fast, cheap treat! I'll just keep thinking about it.

Buttercream, I'm with you on this journey. Maybe a tiny bit further down the road, but on very much that same path.

Here are some things that work for me...

When I'm very tight on time, I look for little treats that either fit in with what I'm already doing or take tiny bits of time. A good-smelling shower gel (have to shower, don't I?). Flowers for the house, picked up at the grocery, that I notice for a few seconds every time I pass through the room. A moment to breathe deeply. I make an attempt to identify "something I like" every day and journal about it - but the important part is noticing. If I have $$, I might order books from Amazon for later.

When I have more time, I indulge with those books (I love reading), knitting (that's what I now do with all the time I used to eat, lol!), playing with my son more, cooking more (that may sound counter-intuitive, but I enjoy cooking real food - and it takes time). I'm not particularly outdoorsy, but I am finding time to be outside in nature is tremendously soothing.

If you haven't done the "senses" exercise I've posted before, it will give you some clues. Basically, you name five things (minimum!) that you like relating to each sense. (As in, I love the SMELL of... flowers, newly cut grass, coffee brewing, oranges, the sea. I love the SOUND of... children laughing, windchimes, birdsong, music-I-like, rain on the roof. Follow the pattern with touch/feel, sight, and taste.) Do it fast, don't over-think, and put it away. A few days later, do it again. Then look at your lists and think about how you can put more of those things in your life.

Learning to be kind to yourself takes practice, but it's good practice.

Sorry about the cough - hope it's better soon. Cough drops very definitely don't violate N-day rules!

(PS - At some point, you should read through this journal of yours from start to finish. It's a remarkable tale of accomplishments. )

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Mon Oct 19, 2009 1:48 am

KCCC, I'm always so glad to see you on my thread! Thanks for visiting! I tried your senses exercise with my fiance. Interestingly, a lot of my responses seemed to have to do with babies and puppies, neither one of which is in my life right now. I also found out that my fiance has a worse sweet tooth than I realized. I also found out that I need to go outside more. Apparently I like the sights and sounds and smells of the outdoors more than I realized. I'll do this exercise again in a couple of days and see what turns up.

This was a completely non-idiotic S weekend. All my weekends are like that these days. In fact, other than taking a bite or two of food outside of a meal, they are pretty much N days. I have to remind myself to have a treat. Once I was awake after midnight on a Friday and momentarily thought of having something to eat, but I don't really think that is a good idea, so I decided against it. Pretty boring.

Tomorrow and Tuesday are Fall Break, and the boys are with their father, so it's just me. That said, I don't think I'll be doing any cooking. I'm just not motivated to cook just for one person. I can be happy just having salami sandwiches and fruit.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:04 am

I have finally lost a tiny bit of weight.

It's only a couple of pounds, and it might even go away, but it's encouraging for right now.

I need something new to have for breakfast.

I'm still sick and eating cough drops by the bagful. Maybe I can slow this down tomorrow.

I'm so happy with No S. For the first time in my life, I'm not worried about how I'm eating, or how I'm going to lose weight. In fact, weight and eating has always figured so largely into my life that I can't believe I even have any other problems now that the weight one is solved. (To my surprise, I still have problems.

)

I can remember the last time I lost weight. I was so thin, and I felt great, but my life didn't automatically become wonderful. In fact, that was when I got divorced, so in a way it was the worst time of my life. So I guess being thin is nice, very nice, but there's more to life than that. When I see thin people, I feel such envy, but that's shallow and silly. Thin people have problems and heartaches just like the rest of us.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Wed Oct 21, 2009 3:45 am

I slept in today and only ate some granola in the afternoon. I bought some sushi to eat for dinner, but didn't get around to it until 9:30. I wasn't even hungry then, but thought, "I've only eaten one meal today! I have to eat!" I wasn't that interested in it, but I ate it. Now I wish I hadn't. What terrible thing would have happened if I had just gone on to bed? Probably nothing. I would've been hungry for breakfast when I got up, that's all.

Sometimes it's tempting to be critical of how I eat during the day, like today when I didn't eat any fruits or veggies. (Granola and sushi.) I don't think that's a good idea (being critical). I think No S is working for me because there is no guilt or criticism. I feel that I'm doing fine, so I feel capable of doing this forever. I don't have to work to motivate myself, I don't look back on my day except to be pleased with how well it went, I look forward to each meal as something to enjoy. I don't feel frightened of food, or eating opportunities, or of myself as some kind of insatiable monster barely contained by my own frail willpower.

Of course, I live a life that is very conducive to No S. I am the only adult in my family of three, I don't work very much and the office where I do never has food set out, I do all of the grocery shopping for my family, and I mostly eat at home where I can choose exactly what I like for most meals. I can see that a change in my circumstances could greatly change my ability to do No S. But for now, it's easy and I'm grateful.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Fri Oct 23, 2009 4:44 am

Good day.

I was pretty hungry during the second class, so I had my third meal of the day when I got home. That is somewhat unusual, but not alarming. I guess my second meal was too light.

It's funny, but all the problems that I used to have with No S have disappeared. I kept drinking the coffee and it doesn't seem to hurt me; I stopped feeling the overwhelming desire to eat at night; I don't worry about whether to eat two or three meals on days when I oversleep; I don't usually need a meal when I get in from class, and if I do, I don't sweat it. It's really amazing, and really nice.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Fri Oct 23, 2009 10:00 pm

I really like reading your check-in. It's sensible and sane - but maybe it's just because I agree with so much of it

Mmmm...salami sandwiches

frugaltexan · Post by **frugaltexan** » Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:54 am

"It's funny, but all the problems that I used to have with No S have disappeared. I kept drinking the coffee and it doesn't seem to hurt me; I stopped feeling the overwhelming desire to eat at night; I don't worry about whether to eat two or three meals on days when I oversleep; I don't usually need a meal when I get in from class, and if I do, I don't sweat it. It's really amazing, and really nice."

I know what you're saying. No- s for me has taken away the battle in my head over stopping to get a treat or not when driving home. It really is amazing and nice.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Oct 24, 2009 5:07 am

Hello, Dande and Texan! So pleasant to have visitors!

Yes, the greatest thing about No S is the banishment of "diet-head." I think Reinhard should emphasize peace of mind as one of the major benefits of No S. You can't get that on any other diet that I've ever heard of. I see these NutraSystems commercials with Marie Osmond on t.v., and I can only wonder how long those women can maintain their weight loss and at what cost. When I was thin from Weight Watchers, I was smiling on the outside, but I was crazy on the inside!

I have to say that if I didn't follow vanilla No S, I don't think I would get that benefit of peace. Even if I did the FAT mod, there would be times, probably lots of times, when I would think, "I'm hungry. I don't want fruit. I want real food! Why can't I have real food?" That sounds a lot like the beginnings of diet-head to me. If I had to count calories, that would be just more of the same diet misery I've had for over 30 years now.

I guess different people have different tolerances for dieting. I know after a lifetime of guilt and restrictions, I have absolutely no tolerance left at all. I was completely flabbergasted to read that Bright Angel described dieting as an "interesting Hobby," or something like that. To me it's been nothing but self-induced torture, and I couldn't wait to leave it behind!

Today was a good day. I was so hungry for lunch when I got home from work at 2 p.m., and I wanted to eat something special and nutritious, but I was too hungry to make anything. So I just ate my leftover sack lunch, 1/2 a PB & J and some grapes. But it was fine, and nice with a cold glass of milk. And then I forgot about it and went on with my day. That was nice.

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:26 pm

buttercreampillow wrote:...I look forward to each meal as something to enjoy. I don't feel frightened of food, or eating opportunities, or of myself as some kind of insatiable monster barely contained by my own frail willpower.

I think this is the perfect description of the mental change. If Reinhard writes another book, this should be the quotation at the top of the chapter about the peace of mind so many people find with this diet.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Sat Oct 24, 2009 2:17 pm

That is similar to what I thought when I read BA's comment - and that I'd be looking for a new hobby. *To me* dieting (and I don't see this as a diet - any more than my grandmother was on a diet when she lived like this 100 years ago) is a total waste of life, not to mention health.

I have no tolerance for dieting either. I did it for 20 years and not one good thing came of it. I lost so much of my life, my health and gained weight and a totally unhealthy relationship with food.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:51 am

Starla, isn't the peace of mind great? I don't know why Reinhard doesn't emphasize it more, but maybe he didn't have to get over diet-head when he thought up No S.

Dandelion, I completely agree with you. Dieting robbed me of joy, peace, health and sanity for far too long. I'm so grateful to have found No S, I could tell the world!

One thing about No S is that meeting my own needs has become so much easier. I don't need special food and I don't have to eat at odd times. I'm just like a NORMAL person!

And when everybody is eating something sweet or snacky and I'm not, it's the easiest thing in the world to just say, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." And it's pretty much true--between meals, I'm not hungry. My urge to eat out of stress, or boredom, or because I'm mad that I have to diet when it seems like no one else does, is pretty much gone.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Tue Nov 10, 2009 9:18 pm

Just wondering how you're doing.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:31 am

Hello! I'm back!

I won't go on and on about how badly I fell off the wagon--I'd rather just say that I'm back now, and hoping to get the structure and peace back in my life!

Hope everyone is well!

buttercream

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 11:50 am

Welcome back! I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing.
I haven't been checking in very much lately either, but only because it seems there hasn't been time for it...NoS is still going well and I hope to continue through the holidays (my downfall every year). This year I will have a plan - a carefully thought out plan - and we'll see.
So glad you're back Buttercream! Missed you!

Mimi

Starla · Post by **Starla** » Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:38 pm

I'm very happy to see you back, Buttercream!

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Tue Dec 15, 2009 6:21 am

Hi Mimi! Hi Starla! I love being welcomed back--it's like coming home! Thank you both!

Two meals today, one at noon, one at 11 p.m. Rather odd, but tonight was a class night, and when I have to scramble around to be prepared for class, all my meals get all mixed up. But there were three (or less) meals, no snacks, no sweets, no seconds and only one plate.

I'll do better tomorrow. I also need to buy some fruits and veggies.

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:34 am

It's so embarrassing to come back, AGAIN, that I even thought, "Why not make up a new screen name and pretend to be somebody else, a complete newbie?" Surely somebody else has done that! Anyway, I resisted, so here I am again, head hanging (and gazing sadly at an additional 15 pounds). *sigh* It's been a very stressful spring....

buttercreampillow · Post by **buttercreampillow** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:18 am

Hope springs eternal!

Just fine today. A good start. Focussing on the positive!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 4:36 am

Welcome back! I like your screen name but it makes me hungry!ðŸ˜€

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:36 am

Hi, buttercreampillow-
Welcome back! Sometimes it takes several restarts before NoS sticks. Just stick around here and keep posting- at least that really helps me to get back on track. I wish you the best with this moderate, sensible system!

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 11:32 am

Hi, Don't worry about the restarts. Just think of it as learning experiences.

Hope today goes well for you.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:33 pm

Many of us have had years of unsuccessful attempts to improve our eating and/or to lose weight. For me it was about 25 years before I found some sanity with No S. Also, I am still far from perfect. Good luck!

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:25 pm

I'm so glad to see you! I missed you