Everyday Systems

i'm starting no-s tmr and i'm excited about this.

i've been binge eating, almost daily, and everyday i tell myself its time to stop and that tmr i'll start afresh. the next day the same thing happens. have been on a million diets that don't work only because i can't stick to it for even a day. have gained a lot of weight over the past year and eager to shed it. have at least 20 pounds to lose. sick of spending so much time thinking about what i'm going to eat, debating on what i should or shouldn't, giving up and eating my whole day away.

love the simplicity of the no-s diet. this time i really want this to be a lifestyle change. no more hopping from diet to diet. posting here to force myself to stick to it! the 21-days is gonna be my first challenge. i'm super keen on posting in that club! thats a strong motivation for me to keep going. and stop messing up.

one day at a time (:

had 2 successful N-days so far (:

... then it was Saturday.

hopped on the scale in the morning and didn't like what i saw. i guess it is too early to be expecting any losses but even a little would have been encouraging.. what it seems like now is that i'm eating at a maintenance level and any little bit more would make me gain. very uncertain but going to continue to monitor and see how things goes.

so i wasn't sure what to do, really, since it was only day 3 and an S-day already. i told myself i'd just do it like any other N-day - 3 square meals, no sugar. breakfast and lunch were ok, but come 4pm, everything went haywire. started snacking on fried food, had a java chip from starbucks.. so then i thought i'd just make today an S-day. went out for dinner with friends and even had a large piece of chocolate truffle cake for dessert. the worst part came when i got home... and continued to overeat. binge, that is. ice cream, crackers, peanut butter, cookies, milk, chocolate, cereal, etc.

disappointed with myself and rather lost.

so should my saturday be just an S-day.. or a failure? Cause it feels way worse than what S-days should be like. Guess i'll leave that aside for now but definitely making Sunday a N-day in my lousy attempt to reverse today's damage.. and hope that next week i'll do better and that it will get easier. really wish those hunger pangs - real or fake (the urges to eat/snack even when i'm not hungry) would GO AWAY. they make things so hard! As much as i know hunger won't kill me.. i just keep wanting to munch!

Will weigh in again next sat. keep goinggggg!