Everyday Systems

started on thursday...
we were filming an episode of the food dude that day (yeah, i work on a cooking show now and then)... we were filming the nom nom truck, a truck that travels around la serving vietnamese sandwiches. i ate breakfast that morning at about 10 am and despite how starving i was i did not snack. i had a nom nom sandwich and it was big and i ate the whole thing plus some chips.
day one success!
friday=success
saturday=no snacking but did enjoy an out of this world spanish dinner for my boyfriend's bday which included a shared dessert
sunday=had a pastry for breakfast, half a burger for lunch, and we made gazpacho for dinner. then i ate another treat for dessert... and man, i did not feel well. i ate the dessert because i knew that was the only time i could until the next weekend. dessert doesn't taste good if you're not in the mood for it! but i had ordered all of these amazing pastries that were delivered to our home for my honey's bday. let me tell you, they are awesome (cakemonkey.com) and i did not want them to go to waste!! i sent my boyfriend to the office with some of them yesterday and put the rest in the fridge. i am not tempted (surprising even myself).
monday, i had my oatmeal which really tides me over. here's my recipe:

chop up one small granny smith apple
handful of almonds
a sprinkle of raisins
a few teaspoons of cinnamon
put 'em all in a bowl with about a cup of water and stick it in the microwave for 2 mins
then add a 1/2 cup of dry quaker oats and mix
put back in the microwave for a minute or two
add a splash of almond milk

i cannot remember what i ate for lunch yesterday! but i didn't snack! i also went to the gym for the first time in a couple of weeks. that felt good! and i haven't had a ciggie in 15 days... made a big difference in my cardio.
went to a housewarming last night. an italian feast. i did not eat hors d'ouevres! and there was baked brie and bread and bruschetta... but i did have a few slices of pear and a glass of red wine. then i put a slice of lasagna, salad, and a piece of bread on my dinner plate. i ate it slowly. then the homemade apple crisp and ice cram came around and i looked at my boyfriend and said "today doesn't start with s and it's not that special of an occasion." and that's it. i went to bed a few hours later and i was hungry but that's okay. i feel better hungry than i do stuffed.
this morning i had my oatmeal, did about 6 miles on the treadmill, and made a veggie burger quesadilla (i made it up! and it was good!) with a cup of gazpacho.
i am really liking no s... it's changing my habits. i feel more in control. i like that food is not in the driver's seat. now i can go where i want.

hope everyone else is having a happy tuesday!

did fine yesterday... even with walking up to the pub to meet my girlfriends. had a glass of wine and split a burger, fries and salad with my friend. i think i normally would have eaten all of that myself. i was really hungry before meeting up with them but i had a glass of water and just reminded myself how good and guilt free my dinner would be. i also did about 7 miles on the treadmill yesterday so that's a plus too.
today is so far so good... unless you count the latte and small biscotti i had after lunch while catching up with an old friend...
now it is 6:30ish and i am hungry and home alone. i ate around 1:00 so it's about dinner time. i am postponing dinner so i don't have to go to bed hungry!!!!! hahahahahaha... there's a lot of popcorn and treats in the house so i want to be nice and satisfied before bed time!
i definitely feel better since starting this no s business. wow, eating only when you're physically hungry is removing the guilt/shame/repeat cycle i have had with food since i was twelve years old. it's only been one week but i am feeling much more calm when it comes to eating.

yay. another day! i was on set today with a bunch of egg sausage sandwiches but i had my oatmeal for brekkie so i just drank water and had some coffee. lunch was half a pastrami sandwich and chicken rice soup. din din was greek yogurt with peaches and almonds with a drizzle of honey. i need veggies!!!! time to go to the market. all in all, success.

friday:
hmmmmm, oh yeah, i remember. it was only yesterday. my memory is getting terrible. i had a light brekkie because i was having lunch at the pub with an old friend.
2 scoops whey protein powder from trader joe's
mixed with almond milk
this powder is sooooo good to me. i just love it!
went to the gym and did an hour on the treadmill... not smoking has really made breathing so much easier. i know. duh! but i can actually fill my lungs up!
had mussels and 4 thin slices of baguette and shared french fries with my friend. they drank beers. i did not.
went to a gallery and then had brazilian dinner around 10 pm... salmon, rice, black beans, plantains... one glass of red wine. ate til i was totally satisfied, but i think i could have stopped eating a few bites earlier... there was plenty of food left on my plate but this restaurant serves platters so that's not saying much.
anyway, i didn't eat a snack and i didn't eat a sweet...
its saturday and i made pancakes this morning. i added some chopped apple to mine for some fiber and i served them with a scoop of plain greek yogurt and drizzled with honey. i know i can have a snack, but it just doesn't seem that appealing to me. my boyfriend and i went grocery shopping and he is going to make steak and grilled corn for dinner and i know i will enjoy it more if i'm hungry
could it be that i am losing my foodobsesso/psycho/nevergonnaeat againsobettereatitallnow tendencies?? for the past 10 days i have felt more confident/in control/not bloated... who knew? i got really used to feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. i am feeling really good.

it's monday funday...
yesterday was granny's 91st bday. i made oatmeal for brekkie with peaches and almonds. my aunts are chefs so i knew we'd be having a bevy of delicious eats... there were a ton of chips, pit, hummus, crudites etc which i didn't eat. i surprised myself... it just didn't seem that appealing! so i saved myself for lunch which was two slices of homemade quiche (my aunt made 4 variieties!) and a salad. believe me, i could have had two more slices of quiche but i didn't. i love quiche. there were a ton of desserts so i had a sliver of each... homemade flan, a bday cake, and angel food cake. yes, i ate all three but they were small slices. i didn't have any dinner that night as i wasn't hungry. so my s days were good. no snacking whatsoever. and on saturday i didn't even have a sweet or a snack... just didn't feel like it, i guess.
been haing some tummy trouble. is it the daily oatmeal?? so today, i didn't eat any brekkie and went to work. then came home and did a saltwater flush and drank a lot of water. that is helping. had a whole wheat english muffin toasted with some peanut butter and a yogurt.
blah blah blah... i sure do write a lot.

monday turned into my first failure day... i ended up eating 8 rice cakes and almost a whole bag of craisins. i think i ate something else too. i had not been feeling well and hadn't eaten all day. then had a toasted english muffin with pb and j and just rested on the couch watching old movies. that's when i got to snacking. oh yeah, that's what i had... a bowl of froot loops with almond milk. so, although i didn't have a crazy high fat binge, i did not eat a proper dinner. whatevs. on to the next. tues, weds, and thurs have all been successes... no snacks or sweets or seconds but some big dinners... not totally button popping stuffed but i know i need to work on stopping earlier instead of taking those last few bites that put me over the edge.
hope everyone is hanging there! it's almost the weekend!

it's been a while...
i am still no s-ing. i have not had any failures! friday, sat and sunday in newport... some minimal snacking on olives and nuts and one brownie all weekend... but tons of eating out with my family in town. still working on eating until i am comfortable and not til the food is gone... but i have this fear that i will not be able to make it to the next meal without snacking! it is getting better but the fear is still there!
i have also noticed that while i am on set (around all the chips, granola bars, etc), in order to avoid snacking, i am drinking coffee with half and half... this adds calories and fat to my day and i am sure it's more than i think it is! it's like i am using coffee to keep myself satisfied. i am also drinking water! just wondering about cutting back on the creamer...
i've worked out twice this week. i didn't last week but tried to walk to and from wherever i needed to go just to remain active. the strenuous workouts i do (covering 6 miles in an hour or elliptical for an hour) really do make me feel better. it is just so hard for me to convince myself to do them! it's like dealing with a child! i have to talk myself into it... i should just do it!
less talking, more walking.
so far so good. my eating feels much more in control... like it is becoming a non-issue. i know i will eat 3 times a day. i will not starve.
i don't feel like i look any different. my face seems a bit thinner? i feel different. more accepting of myself because i am treating myself well... not overeating and giving my body more than she can handle. now, i have to start utilizing all the time i have on my hands that i used to fill with snacking.