wantebhealthy's final journey to the top

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Kevin
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Post by Kevin » Fri Feb 09, 2007 11:14 pm

A lot of time the motivation isn't there to exercise.

But you can still do it.

Inertia is a powerful influence. If you are at rest, you'll tend to stay that way. Take the first step. Then the second. Pretty soon, you'll be proud that you manufactured motivation out of thin air, and that you overcame another obstacle.

Just one decision at a time, Debi. One at a time.
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."

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gettnbusy
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Post by gettnbusy » Sat Feb 10, 2007 4:59 am

Very well said Kevin!
~I'm still not perfect~
~Sophie~

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Sat Feb 10, 2007 5:05 pm

i am doing good and hanging in there. i know all about the "just do it" attitude, now if i could "just do it" lol.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Sat Feb 17, 2007 6:20 am

You have been doing it for quite sometime now. You havne't given up. You are still here. You are just working out the kinks in the plan to suit you. Believe in yourself and your ability to make it work. Maybe not perfectly but perfect for you and your life. You not only can do it, you already are. Congratulations. Now just tweak it and tweak it until you love it and own it.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."

want2bhealthy
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still hanging in there

Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Feb 23, 2007 1:20 pm

thanks pangle sue. my problem is between lunch and dinner. i wind up eating dinner early cause i cant wait to eat any longer then i am hungry before bed. sometimes i fight it sometimes i give in. so like you are saying i have to tweak this . i am not losing any weight but i am not gaining either. i feel i can do this, i have to do this. i think i know my problems on this way of eating and i have to find some solutions so i can really start losing some weight and changing my eating patterns. i have to put the information about haveing 5 or 6 smaller meals a day will keep your metabolism going and keep you from getting to hungry. i have to stop listening to the media and other people. i need to come on here more often and read about all the successes and get great advice on how to make this way of eating my way of eating for life and finally lose this weight and get healthy.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

benjishi
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Post by benjishi » Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:37 pm

Very heart wrenching reading here.. Obviously you're emotionally distraught over your weight and running at a very high tenor.

I know it's very difficult to retrain your mental and physical reactions when you're in a calm state... but also very hard to get calm when you're having such a hard time!

If you're still snacking at the deli, I have a bit of advice, perhaps...

Could you bring in a plate? or have a plate there?

Put your lunch on it, whatever you want... and then snack on it while you're not busy.

Don't eat anything except what's on your plate and you'll have stuck with NoS for lunch.

want2bhealthy
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still struggling

Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Mar 02, 2007 9:15 pm

thanks ben i will do that, this are small flat plates at the deli, i will get lunch and put it all on the plate and eat as i can. thanks. so simple :roll: i am still 195. thanks for still supporting me guys. it means alot, when someone can still believe you can do it, even if you dont believe it yourself sometimes.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Mar 05, 2007 1:51 pm

thoughts of hopping on the latest diet coming out or finding a diet pill that will make me stop eating are always gonna be there, but the trick is gonna be to not cave in and try them. i am just so stubborn and bull headed(i am 1/2 italian and a taurus LOL) i am so determined to prove to myself and others that i can do this on my own!! i know my diet past history proves other wise. when i make up my mind(and i know i did now!!) i am gonna do it. the no s way. i had a great weekend lots of excercise on sat didnt drink or eat to much at the party. i got up this morning and excercised and as the spring is approaching i know i am running out of time, to hide my fat under my big sweat pants and sweat shirts. our tree is cut down in the back yard so there will be so much sun to enjoy my pool this yr. i wont be able to do that if i dont lose this weight. i feel like i am in the right state of mind now to approach this weight loss and getting healthy.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:00 pm

had a great day yesterday, resisted a doughnut and resisted going back for seconds at dinner, i was only hungry at dinner cause i didnt get to eat to much at the deli at lunch, but did very well. dinner is always my hardest time, so i have to make sure i have enough of a satisfying lunch so i dont over eat at dinner. it is so windy and cold here and i ride my bike to work everyday, not looking forward to it. i am looking forward to another no s day.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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my own way

Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:29 pm

hi, am doing it my own way. i cant just pick a plan and stick with it so this is my own plan, i am excercising and see, doing it my own way, means if one day my body feels like eating three meals no snacks, then that is what i will do, and the next day i feel the need to have snacks in between i will, one day i may feel like eating more protiens, one day i may just feel like skipping dinner and having popcorn, enough examples i guess you get the pt. by doing it this way, i wont be "cheating" on a diet and feeling like i failed or i wont be breaking any "rules" of a specific plan and feeling like i failed, which leads to alot of my binges. i feel this is what is gonna work for me, i had to keep failing and diet hopping to get to this pt so now i dont feel like i wasted the last 10 yrs trying to find what works for me, i found it!!! i have been fighting a binge/compulsive eating disorder for 10 yrs. glad i kept fighting and am glad i finally found what is working for me, i just lost 3 lbs and am feeling really good. i really love this plan and wished i could have made it work, but i just kept on bingeing at meals and on weekends. but i am good now and will do this my way and I WILL SUCCEED!! thanks for all the support. i will keep you updated maybe once a week, cause i have appreciated all of your support and dont want to just completely dissappear.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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back again

Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:31 pm

well i am doing really good with excercising but...... even though i lost 3 lbs i have been eating sweets more then i want to and when i eat snacks in between meals it just makes me hungry, like i want to keep eating. has anyone else ever quit as many times as me and can back and finally succeeded? man i am gonna be 42 next month, why cant i get it together?? trying again today and so far so good.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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found the 3 lbs

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Mar 28, 2007 1:05 pm

even though i am pmsing, i hate that the 3 lbs is back on. i had a great day yesterday, so i hope i am going to really stick to it this time. my motivation for excercise this week in low. but i have set a goal of 4 times a week so i can still do that. i usually weigh in everyday but the one that i count is only on wed morning. so not a good weigh in this morning, just have to be more in control.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:57 am

had another great day yesterday. hope i am finally in the right state of mind to stay here.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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yup this is my final journey alright!!

Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Mar 29, 2007 10:15 pm

i am about to call it quits. seriously. i havent never said that, i really want to quit trying to find something i think is going to work. i have had it with myself and the lack of self control. came home from work and was hungry, i thought i had a good enough lunch so i could wait till dinner. but of course i had to grab some tortilla chips. then it was on, i just kept snacking. then i did some house work then started in on dinner. i did horrible. i am starting to think i am gonna be fat, unhealthy and miserable for the rest of my life. i feel i really do try. i honestly cant figure out why i cant just walk away from food. i really dont know what to do or say anymore. and no i am not throwing myself a pity party, i just am so mad at myself for letting food have so much control over me!!
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

pangelsue
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Post by pangelsue » Thu Mar 29, 2007 11:19 pm

Tell yourself you are going to give up.


Now tell me what thought popped into your head when you did. Was it, "Good, finally". Or was it "Oh no, I can't do that" or something in between?

It has to start with honesty. I have been here for a long time and I had 21 perfect days. Then it has been hit and miss ever since. I have never given up. I have just worked on proving some things to myself. I totally gave up at one point and let me appetite go wild for a couple of weeks. Was I happier? For a couple of days. Then reality set in. Then I tried to do just one thing, no seconds. That works great. I've got that one cold. Then I tried no sugar. Limited success. Then I tried no snacking. Also limited success. Then I did a lot of reading about motivation behind overeating. While I was doing all this reading, I stuck with no seconds and let myself drift with sugar and snacks. I tried to limit them to several a day. And I learned that I want to be here. I don't want to go anywhere else. I also learned that I can't just mindlessly follow rules because I am too much of a rebel for that. Then I started asking myself what I am willing to do to feel and look better. All this while I was not doing the diet. I was forgetting about the food and focusing on me. I can't change anything about the food. It is out there and looks and tastes delicioius. I can only do something about me. I believe I am getting there. I am applying more and more brakes. I don't strive for perfect days anymore. I strive for the best days I can give myself. They are getting better and better since I took the rules off. Whatever I am doing, I am doing it because I want to. I hope, I will strive for a healthier lifestyle if I stop making a big production out of it.
So my suggestion. Ask yourself the question above. If the answer is "good", stop dieting and eat whatever you like. However much weight you gain or don't will be the result. If your answer to the question was "Oh no, I don't want to give up", then find out what you are willing to do right now and do it. Honesty is the only thing that will work. Good luck.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."

want2bhealthy
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dont now how to thank you

Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Apr 06, 2007 11:34 pm

boy, i dont know how to thank you for this post. i love the question and it kind of was in between, but so much of your post makes so much sense. like it did feel good for a couple of days, then it was back to disgust and i cant keep eating and gaining. then i did someting really stupid, and i think i can get my money back. joined another diet plan that cost me money but it was a money back guarantee so i am waiting for an answer for that. i too had the 21 days of on plan, the on and off to much off. i am so happy for you that you are finding your way. and i too learned i want to be here. you really do help to keep me here and talk me back into reality. i should have come back on here before i went to the other plan. i do make a big production out of it. time to go with a different approach . thank you so much. time to get real and honest. i have to start with not leaving this board again.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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i am back

Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:41 pm

and here to stay. i am having a great day. i just have to continue and stop qujitting and thinking i will be fat and out of control for ever. i can get control and i will.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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bye guys

Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:18 pm

thanks for all the support but i am out! hi, i just need to learn to eat the foods i enjoy but eat less of them and of course committ to excercise, bottom line. seriously, no more diets, i have to take it one day at a time and get to the issues of why i eat, when i eat and what i eat. i have got to make better choices. i have got to learn how to not eat when i am not hungry and stop when i am full. geez it sounds so simple!!!!!!!! the more i say i want stay on a specific plan no matter how simple the rules, i just dont follow it. i get all excited, thinking this is it, am so positive, then i just go back to binge eating. i need to take care of my binge eating, find out why i do it. i love this plan. but i seriously dont think i will be back. i will just have to take it one day at a time. got to figure this out on my own. there is only so much other people can help you with before you just have to help yourself. i wish everyone success. :)
__________________
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

joasia
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Post by joasia » Tue Apr 10, 2007 10:14 pm

Thanks a lot want2behealthy. I hate WW. Don't get me wrong, I saw results on the program, but it made me miserable and neurotic about food. I know I couldn't keep at it forever. If you never eat out and you can measure everything, then the plan is great. I love NOS, but I get paranoid thinking "I can't lose weight eating this much food". However, I don't even have a right to make that statement, because I have never stuck with nos for more than a couple of weeks. I think right now I am fitting under Reinhard's "But I want an excuse" clause big time. Tomorrow I start over, and I am going to fight those neurotic thoughts like hell. If you don't mind I will check back with you.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:20 am

hi mil. i am so confused, one day i want to stay here and do this for life, then like today i came home from work and ripped into my daughters easter candy. now i wanted to quit again. i like that part about the finding an excuse for not sticking with this, geez , but why would i want to find an excuse? i love this plan. i really want it to work. hey maybe i am supposed to stay here and start over with you tomorrow. i think i have been talked off the ledge again. i dont know how but people on here are still supporting me and want to see me succeed. thank you so much. i will try again.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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ready for a success day

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:37 pm

i even chose healthy foods for breakfast, cottage cheese, almonds, a little bit of yogurt and a cup of decaf green tea. i am hoping to continue to choose heatlhy foods, i know i wont do it all the time, but i think it will help me stick to this plan if i really try to choose healthier foods. cause i am not only trying to get thin, but i am trying to get healthy, and i wont binge on healthy foods, i just dont enjoy them as much as my non healthy foods, i choose to often.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

joasia
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Post by joasia » Wed Apr 11, 2007 3:29 pm

Okay I started this morning: First I walked the dog this morning (spring break this week) then I had breakfast: 1 hard boiled egg, 2 slices buttered bread, one orange. I feel full and not stuffed. The more I think about diets, the more I realize they don't work. Take my parents for example, my mom has been on and off diets her whole life and she is at her heaviest now. My dad eats 3 times a day no snacking and has treats once in a while and has been naturally slim his whole life. People I work with who are slim always tell me "how much they eat" but I observe them. They eat way less than me, that is for sure. I guess in their own mind they eat a ton, but most of them don't snack. When I was on Weight Watchers I gave my slim friend my dinner one night (you know my pre-measured dinner) (we were working late and she had not eaten), anyway she barely could finish! And this portion seemed tiny to me! My grandparents, who were both a normal weight their whole lives, ate three meals a day. They didn't eat much fast food, but they ate homemade food that was not low in calories or fat. When I lived in Poland for a year I dropped weight because I ate three times a day (no snacking), homemade food, and I walked to town everyday.
So I know that this system will work. It will just take a lot of patience. I am going to look for things to keep me busy between meals. I think that is key. When you are home with the refrigerator full, the demons come out. No doubt this will take some discipline. I also think the more you move the easier the weight comes off, you can eat more calories and burn them off. When I was younger I was on a swim team. We practiced 2 to 3 hours everyday. And man, I could wolf down a huge dinner and not gain a pound. The problem is my life is sedentary now. I like exercise, but I am limited because I am heavy. I am going to keep walking and when some of this weight comes off (fingers crossed) I would like to do a sport I enjoy again. I was quite active before, and somehow I totally lost that.

Anyway, sorry for the novel. You can do this! One meal at a time. Keep busy and think about Saturday!

joanna
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

want2bhealthy
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hi

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:42 pm

i appreciate you sharing that stuff with me, boy it does make so much sense. but you see, for me, i eat when i am not hungry. no plan is gonna help me with that. i have a book called overcoming over eating and i think i need to read it. i just compulsively shove food in my mouth without enjoying it or even realize i am doing it until i am so stuffed and then i say to myself , geez what have you done? that is so disgusting. i am afraid of diabetes, but even that big scare hasnt helped stop me from bingeing. i am back up to my all time high and it is scary. i have to figure something out now, before i really get some big health issues. i dont feel right to keep coming on here with high hopes and taking support from lots of great people. i dont understand how i can start each morning so positive then by mid day i just start picking and i dont stop till after dinner. yes all while i am picking, i am doing house work and i am at work, my boss wasnt there today so i feel comfortable eating at work. you take a bite then answer the phone, you eat some more then make a sandwhich for a customer, you eat some more then make macaroni salad, it isnt hard to wind up eating to much by the time i am done work. it doesnt happen everyday like that, just when boss isnt around. i am just hopeless. my email address is in my profile , if anyone wants to get a hold of me. but i cant commit to this 100 % so i need to stop coming on here, thinking i can do it. same with ww websites and richard simmons website and lowcarb websites. i need to get off of them all. i will stick to my original website that i have been on for about 7 yrs, trying to fight this, there is a eating disorder thread on there that i guess i should just stay at. bye guys. :roll: :x :cry:
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

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MerryKat
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Post by MerryKat » Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:42 am

Please don't give up on this plan. It really does work. I have an under active thyroid and type II diabetes and I am loosing using No S.

If you find yourself eating something between meals on N days put the item away and continue with your day. It is hard, but try not to beat yourself up over it and slowly the habit will grow.

It has taken me 18 months to get the compulsive snacking habit semi-controlled (it still takes over now and then).

I wish you well whatever you decide and hope you stay with us.
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

want2bhealthy
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hi

Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Apr 24, 2007 12:56 pm

:oops: well last tues april 17th, i hit my all time high wt of 202, i couldnt believe that i let myself go that much. i feel awful. so i am crawling back with my tail between my legs. i have to figure out how to stay here and stop quitting. thank you merrykat for telling me not to give up on this plan. i have never felt so out of control as i did last tues.

well today my weight is back down to 198, but i started to do it unheatlhy. after i saw my wt at 202, i just more or less stopped eating. like maybe a 1/2 sandwhich and a glass of milk or 1/3 cup of brown rice with broccoli. i guess i was just so upset that for the first time in my life i actually didnt want to eat. then i started bingeing cause i had been depriving myself of food. my excercise is alright but could always be better.

it also doesnt help that i am aggrevated at myself , cause the warm weather is here and i am in no way ready for shorts, so i am hot cause i wont put shorts on yet. i just had breakfast and am not gonna think about food till or when i get hungry. i have to learn to stop eating when i am stressed or bored or tired. they seemed to be the main reasons i will reach for food.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:41 pm

had a great day yesterday and avoided a binge by getting out of the house for a 30 min walk with my daughter. dinner choice wasnt healthy and i guess that what triggered me to want to keep eating.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

joasia
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Post by joasia » Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:30 pm

get off the scale for 2 weeks or 4 if you can do it. And see what happens. sometimes the obsession is too much.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:27 pm

think you might be right on that one. had slip today, :oops: husband brought home ice cream for my daughter. i know i could have said, i can have it on sat or sunday but i caved, cause it was all melty. got to have a better day tomorrow and stick with the rules!!
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

joasia
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Post by joasia » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:37 am

I really love the idea of this. But I think I might do WW to get some of this weight off. I need to get it off for health reasons. I think this is perfect for people with no immediate health concerns who want to knock off 20 or so pounds and can take forever doing it. I think I am going to sacrifice and do WW and then come back to this for maintenance.
The destiny of nations depends on the manner in which they feed themselves. Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Apr 26, 2007 8:24 pm

hey mil thanks for stopping by i wrote something in your daily check in. let me know how you are doing and remember i left here and came back here several times one time to do ww. so do what you think is right for you now.

i am doing great today. i dont even have that much of an appetite today. i had milk and popcorn for breakfast and for lunch i had a sandwhich of deli turkey cheese tomato lettuce and mayo on a round kaiser roll and some potato salad. so far so good.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Apr 27, 2007 12:05 pm

i had a great day yesterday. my birthday is tomorrow so tonight i am going out to dinner with father in law so it will be a special occasion day then tomorrow is my birthday so it will surely be an s day so i was thinking to maybe not make sunday an s day and just treat it like a no s day. just my three meals no s rules. it feels good to do these kind of things and still know you are following your program, so there is no self negative talk about, wow i blew it i failed again, i will always be fat and never be in control.

these are the reasons i have to remember to stick with this way of eating for life. i am hoping so much that i can become a success story on here.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue May 01, 2007 1:37 pm

well i thought i was ready to quit again , was gonna do ww mistake mistake mistake!!! i am pmsing and losing my mind and after a weekend of eating to much then my mom took me to the buffet for birthday dinner last night, i just panicked, i cant do ww , what am i thinking??? this is part of having an eating disorder i guess when i get desparate i think a diet will cure it!!!!!!!! i am not doing ww. chanting, gotta stay here, gotta stay here, gotta stay here!! i have got to get the thoughts of quitting everytime i take advantage of s days out of my head. quitting leads to failing.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

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paulrone
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Post by paulrone » Tue May 01, 2007 5:13 pm

Stay with us! I'm a former WW, too.
I made it all the way to lifetime member, but it was a royal pain. They saw no reason why I couldn't just keep going in every week or month to pick up my little points journals and step on their scales. And guess what happened when I quit going? I popped on 20 pounds.
I can list several reasons not to be there - how 'bout you?
You don't need a cheerleader standing in front of you telling you how the new no-fat, no-sugar, no-flavor, flab-reducing, celebrity-inducing SmartBuns Orange Creamsicle from Weight Watchers is the answer to your prayers. You need old fashioned willpower from inside to make this happen and some friends to help from the outside when your willpower gets weak. And just so you can get a head start, I'll be your friend.
-Sometimes Fundamentalist and self-appointed King of the S-day Moderates
"As it is (sometimes) written, so let it (sometimes) be done."

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mimi
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Post by mimi » Tue May 01, 2007 6:33 pm

I echo paulrone's sentiments...stay with us want2bhealthy! I have a suggestion. What about changing your signature quote to something positive like..."I have what it takes to be healthy." Then the next thing to tell yourself is, quitting is never an option. You sound like you are a "black and white" dieter, or an "all or nothing" dieter like me. In the not too distant past, before I discovered No-S, if I felt that I didn't eat "perfectly" that I was a failure. Or if I ate one little thing that wasn't "allowed" I figured that I had blown it and might as well eat whatever I wanted. The trouble with that was I ate everything in sight then. I feel as if I have been let out of "food jail" with No-S. I am not having "food wars" anymore, and there are no "bad foods." I'm free to eat whatever I want - even sweets. Knowing that helps me NOT to eat too much of them. It's crazy. Another question... are you habit tracking on your calendar at home? I find this to be very helpful for me. There's something so inspiring about being able to put a green X through the date at the end of the day. And I love waking up in the morning feeling so "light." Hang in there and keep on keepin' on!
mimi
Discovered NoS: April 16, 2007
Restarted once again: July 14, 2011
Quitting is not an option...
If you start to slip, tie a knot and hang on!
Remember that good enough is... good enough.
Strive for progress, not perfection!

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue May 01, 2007 8:12 pm

oh thank you so much guys. sometimes i need to be talked off the ledge.
paulrone thanks for the reminder about ww, i have never been close to my goal, so however difficult that was, i commend you on sticking it out to that long. thanks for being a friend.

mimi you are right i am an all or nothing, i have failed so i might as well eat. guess that has to stop now. no, i dont do the x on the calender thing, not sure i read about that. or i might have but dont remember. could you refresh my memory? sounds like something that might help.

i so appreciate everyone who has hung in there with me the support on here keeps me here , no matter how many times i think i cant do it.
Last edited by want2bhealthy on Tue May 01, 2007 10:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue May 01, 2007 8:13 pm

oh i will try to think of something positive for my signature, that is another problem of mine, i have failed so many times in trying to conquer my binge eating that it is hard for me to stop the negative self talk.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by mimi » Tue May 01, 2007 8:27 pm

Sure thing!! Go to Podcasts on the No-S homepage. Listen to or read episodes 11 and 12. They will explain all about habit tracking with the habit traffic light. I think it's great! Start tonight!
Discovered NoS: April 16, 2007
Restarted once again: July 14, 2011
Quitting is not an option...
If you start to slip, tie a knot and hang on!
Remember that good enough is... good enough.
Strive for progress, not perfection!

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Post by thtrchic » Tue May 01, 2007 8:37 pm

I've also found marking the calendar to be bizarelly helpful. I say bizarelly because I can't see why it should matter that much, but somehow I really want to see that green check. Enough that it helps me stay on track.

Julie

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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue May 01, 2007 10:31 pm

hey guys, right after i came on here it was almost dinner time. well..... i overate at dinner felt bloated and kept eating and guess what it was, a half of an eclair and ice cream. i swear i never used to even crave sweets i dont know what is going on with me. my bingeing is out of control i just dont stop eating when i am full. it feels like i will never conquer this.

see, on no s, i feel like i have to overeat at each meal cause i know i cant eat in between. and s days, what can i say, it just feels like i will never get in control of them. that is why i doubt myself everytime i let myself think this is the plan for me. maybe i should just deal with my bingeing issues first before i can commit to anything.

this might sound like an excuse but this is what goes on in my rebellious mind. well you cant eat in between meals so what do i want to do?, eat in between meals or i will just think about food till the next meal. cant have snacks well, i will eat them with my meal. which i never did before but since i couldnt have them now i want them. and s days i take as a free for all, cause i know through the week it is no s again. see? what is wrong with me?? i have serious issues. just dont feel like there is any hope or a way out. if i cant even (in my mind) pick and stick with a plan like this, i really have little hope. dont know what i am going to do.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by mimi » Wed May 02, 2007 11:51 am

Okay, so get a hold of yourself, it's just one meal - it'll be okay! I understand your turmoil because I have been there many times myself. It happened every time I joined WW or tried to do South Beach or any other diet that tells you what you can eat and what you can't. Or how much you can have - you have to weigh this and measure that - count this point - look up that food. It drove me crazy after awhile and then I started to rebell by overeating and breaking the rules. Oddly enough I find the "rules" for No-S to be liberating rather than confining. No weighing, measuring, counting, looking up, eating from this list or that list. I really do think you need to ditch the sugar on No-S days, want2bhealthy. I really feel there's a connection between sugar and cravings - at least for me there is. That's the one big thing I've noticed...since I have not been snacking or eating sugary foods or processed junk foods, the cravings to eat everything in sight have all but disappeared. Today's a new day, a new beginning. Begin No S again today and tell yourself you will begin habit tracking on your calendar as well today. You only have 3 more days until you can have a sweet. Put it off until then. In the meantime, try eating yogurt as part of your meal . That's sweet and creamy, healthy, and okay, I've been told (it's considered borderline). Have a good day!
mimi
Discovered NoS: April 16, 2007
Restarted once again: July 14, 2011
Quitting is not an option...
If you start to slip, tie a knot and hang on!
Remember that good enough is... good enough.
Strive for progress, not perfection!

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed May 02, 2007 12:52 pm

mimi thank you so much, you are so right, about the counting and everything about the other plans. it is a new day and lucky for me , i weigh in on wed mornings trying to just get on the scale once a week, i didnt gain any weight, so i truly feel like i am getting another chance to change and make this work. you are also right about the foods i choose, it is processed and fast and i so want to go back to when i didnt care about sweets, so i really want to stay.

it means so much to me that you are still here to calm me down and realize how panicky i get when i mess up. man, can you imagine if a person like me could be a success on this? then surely anyone can do it. i would really be a great testimony for this way of eating. ok, i am calm and ready. the past is the past. time to move on. thanks so much again.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by paulrone » Wed May 02, 2007 2:50 pm

OK. I know it isn't cool for guys to reveal some things, but here goes. I have been guilty of binge eating in the past. These are just some of my opinions based on what you're posting lately.

You're not failing at this. The problem won't be fixed overnight, but is improving. Maybe your eating habits aren't exactly what you expect from yourself, but they're obviously better than they used to be, right? You've gained weight in the past, but not this week. That means you are improving. Focus on the improvements. Find your successes every day and remember them.

Don't get hung up on the S days yet. Work on the no S days, first. Take it one day at a time. Keep this simple for yourself. The harder this gets, the more complicated you make it, the more dominating and obsessive it becomes in your daily life.

Last, forgive yourself. Your friends won't think less of you if you trip up sometimes. Heck, they probably won't even remember it. Why should you? So you had dessert yesterday. So what? When you don't eat dessert today, you can say to yourself, "Hey, I passed up the ice cream after dinner. I'm improving!" That's a lot better than going through the day moping about yesterday's mistake.
-Sometimes Fundamentalist and self-appointed King of the S-day Moderates
"As it is (sometimes) written, so let it (sometimes) be done."

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu May 03, 2007 6:54 pm

guys, i appreciate all of you, but i feel like i am wasting everyones time. i cant stick to this. i need to get my head together and decide what the best way for me to control my binge eating will be. so no need to respond, when i get my act together i might be back. i am tired of being fat and i am tired of being out of control and letting food control my life. i wish all of you luck. i know i have said my farewells a couple of times before but this time i need to really think about what i can commit to.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed May 23, 2007 12:44 pm

well i have had a couple of weeks to get my bingeing in tack and i have been excercising, of course i wasnt perfect and of course pondered going back on ww or richard simmons, but i guess i dont even have to tell you how that turned out. good news is i havent gained any weight and lost one or two then gained them back.

bottom line is, i really love this plan and if i am gonna make this my plan to get healthy and lose wt and stop messing around and feeling sorry for myself, i have to figure out why i think i couldnt make this plan work in the past few times i tried.

1- i am very indecisive(could you guess) and at each meal i dont know what i want, so i wind up taking to much of everything. i have to say, this is for breakfast this is for lunch and this is for dinner, you can have any thing you want the next day or the next meal.

2- i am out of control on the s days. need to get that in control

3-my worst time i am hungry or i just want to binge is after i get home from work around 2:30 3:00, so i need to find a way not to be hungry at that time or need to keep busy so i can hang on till dinner.

so if i can learn how to deal with all these things i think this time around i may be successful.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu May 24, 2007 12:53 pm

yes!!! yesterday was a successi feel great this morning, i havent said that in a long time. i can do this, i can. i am going to change my dinner time routine.

i really do have to change dinner time routine. i do have to start planning meals, and this is gonna be a big one, i am going to have everyone eat the same thing. when i cook different for everyone i want to pick on it all. this is gonna be hard, i cant remember the last time i actually sat down and ate a balanced dinner, protien starch, veggie . i think this will help me so much. this just may be the key to me getting this weight off. and of course sticking to no s. now i am not a cook , so this is gonna take some thinking.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by paulrone » Thu May 24, 2007 1:52 pm

Good for you! Start planning and cooking dinner so you can gain control of the situation. You don't have to be a great cook to make dinner. After all, Julia Childs darn near flunked out of French Chef School. Her teacher thought she was a horrible cook!

Just make what you enjoy eating. As your skills improve, so will the memu offerings.
-Sometimes Fundamentalist and self-appointed King of the S-day Moderates
"As it is (sometimes) written, so let it (sometimes) be done."

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri May 25, 2007 1:08 pm

thanks paulrone, i didnt know that, that is funny. i had another success day. i really feel like i can do this. and on no s i am not panicking over the long weekend. i even excercised 3 days this week. i am still feeling positive.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue May 29, 2007 9:41 pm

i am doing it!! i am really doing it! my weigh in is tomorrow and i am not going to be upset or worry if i dont lose, i am in control and i am finally committed to this. i havent binged, nor do i want to.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed May 30, 2007 1:02 pm

well i am down to 192. i just found a post where i said i hit my all time high and that was april 17th i was 202. dont get me wrong i am happy that i have a 10 lb loss, but geez it took me 6 wks to do it. i know losing it slower is better and i didnt feel like i was starving at all, quite the opposite really. so i am happy and i will keep moving on.

of course during that 6 weeks i had lots of falls on no s, but i kept coming back and it is finally paying off.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

Charis
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Post by Charis » Wed May 30, 2007 1:25 pm

Congratulations on your 10 lb loss. I understand your feelings about how long it took to lose it. I suppose you could take the opposite view that if you hadn't done anything you (well at least I could have) put on an additional few pounds in those same 6 weeks. The process may be slow, but if the result is a lifetime habit of eating in moderation without rigid and painful sacrifices than the results should be longer lasting. You are doing great.

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu May 31, 2007 12:49 pm

thanks charis and you are right, i would have gain and felt miserable. i got my tom yesterday which means i was pmsing last wk and actually stayed in control and lost weight. first time ever! i really thank the no s for that, cause even when my stomach was growling which is does alot when i am pmsing, i just said, you meal is done wait till the next meal. stick with no s.

i am really in a good place now and hope to continue to lose wt and finally put and end to yo yo diet hopping.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu May 31, 2007 11:25 pm

wow, i blew it big time today. cant quite figure out what happened. i ate to big of a lunch and was stuffed. felt very uncomfortable. then someone came in the deli talking about how they are succeeding on weight watchers. since i just lost 10 lbs, i of course am afraid of putting it back on, so at this point of my losing wt, i feel the need to cut back on portions.

at dinner i went back for seconds, then i went back to old negative talk, i blew it so i kept on eating, and then turned to the sweets, 2 oreo cookies and a mini hershey bar. i can safely say today was a red failure. i just hope i can concentrate on how far i have come, but it is gonna be hard not to jump back to counting pts. how do you cut down on portions after the intial wt comes off. i know i cant eat as much as i have been at each meal and still continue to lose.

through the whole 10 lb wt loss i ate beyond feeling full. i know the weight will stop coming off if i keep doing that.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu May 31, 2007 11:46 pm

here is a post i wrote to my fighting binges friends and this is how i feel right now.
well........ i have got some thinking to do. although i just lost 10 lbs, i feel i am still eating to much at each meal, and i think it is because of the no s plan i am on. there is no snacking in between meals. so i am eating to much at each meal to hold me over to the next meal. now doing this i still lost wt, but i really dont like how i feel overstuffed after i eat, reminds me of that after a binge feeling. i know i wont continue to lose wt doing this.

i just went on the no s site and told them how i loved being on the plan and how i wished i was successful enough to be in the book, coming out i think in 2008 and i am going to tell everyone to buy the book. now i dont think it is my plan for life. i am ready to start eating less during the day and if i get hungry i need a snack to ward off getting to that starving pt. so now do i go b ack on there with my tail between my legs? i need to now do portion control and keep track of how much i am eating to continue losing wt, this is how i feel now. maybe i am still hopeless. i just feel that if i keep overeating at my meals but still following all the other rules, i wont keep losing.
__________________
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Charis
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Post by Charis » Fri Jun 01, 2007 2:08 am

I am not sure if this will help but what if you stopped eating your meal when you felt comfortably full, put the plate away in the refrigerator with the understanding that if you are just famished and can't make it to the next meal then you could go and finish your plate. I am thinking that you would find yourself able to make it to the meal maybe most of the time, but you could also alleviate your fear that you would be too hungry to make it to the next meal. After time you should have a realistic understanding of how much you need at a meal. It sounds to me that fear is driving your overeating. Hang in there, don't give up. I am pulling for you

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:37 pm

thank you charis, i will stick with it, i think you may be right. i am really gonna try to stop before i am overstuffed. i wont quit.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Brandon
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Post by Brandon » Fri Jun 01, 2007 1:45 pm

That's a great idea Charis, and a really helpful comment for me as well.

You can do it W2BH. Keep it up. :)

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Jun 01, 2007 10:18 pm

thanks brandon. it worked , it worked. on my plate at lunch was a small sandwhich , very little pasta salad and i had some chips. i ate the sandwhich and the pasta salad, and i felt full. so i stopped and said if i am really hungry i will go back for the handful of chips, and i really didnt need to. i really can make this work.

the only thing i may have to change just "sometimes" is .. i may have to make my s days fri and sat. only when differnt things come up. then it will really fit into my lifestyle. and i can stick with it for life. oh i am having a great day by the way.

you dont know how many times (well i guess you do) i wanted to quit and came on here and saw supportive people responding to me. if you guys didnt quit on me by now, with all my crazy thinking and trying to make excuses for why this wont work for me, i would be gone and 20 lbs heavier by now. i thank you sooooooooo much for sticking with me and taking out the time to respond.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

Charis
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Post by Charis » Sat Jun 02, 2007 1:05 am

I am so glad you had a great day. You are right you can do this.

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:43 pm

hi , thanks charis. i overate at dinner last night. my whole attitude about food has changed, it just doesnt seem that important anymore. when i do slip up and overeat at dinner, it just reminds me i still have more work to do. but i have come a long way. now what i see in the mirror is a different story and at times i still find the negative self talk chiming in, saying look you have lost 10 lbs and you still dont look any different. but.. i just use it positively now, saying look you lost 10 lbs and you are gaining control of your eating, so just keep going and soon you will see a difference when you look in the mirror.

gonna try to count pts today but still follow the no s rules. no self negative talk if i wind up not counting by the end of the day, but..... i am really gonna try to stick with it. i just need it as i guide to see how much i am eating and gauge what i can be full on and not overstuffed.

it is the no s rules that have helped me so much gain control again. now i am really ready to start paying more attention to portion control and how many calories i am actually getting. i am just using pts as sort of a guide, not getting obsessed with counting . i know the beauty of this way of eating is not counting anything, but i am not saying pts is myplan, no s is.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:54 pm

i am not making that mistake, i caught myself, i will not count pts. to many bad experiences with dieting . wont do it. i will stick to no s strictly.

i think i may be afraid that something this good cant possibly get me to my goal wt, i guess i have failed so many times, that i think i will eventually fail at this to, so i better jumped ship before it happens and go on ww. am i making any sense? i love this plan and i am succeeding, so why would i mess with that??
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:15 pm

had another successful day, boy am i glad i didnt start counting pts. i am learning to stick with this, even if i have those thoughts of quitting. tomorrow is weigh in.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:56 pm

i have been doing good. almost had a binge last night. after i had already had my dinner, i was tempted to pick on what i made my husband , i started to take a couple teaspoons of mashed potatos and gravy and a couple of forkfulls of meatloaf(which i really dont care for) i stopped myself and all was well.

the feelings of bingeing, i think unfortunately will always be there. gotta learn to deal with them. i for one think i am doing a great job. even though i only lost one lb at my wed weigh in this morning.

normally i would be disappointed. not anymore. my excercise isnt what i could be doing, and i trully know , that the one lb is a true lb of fat loss instead of water weight, that i starved myself 2 days before weigh in to get off. i really worked for it and i am one lb closer to my goal. i am not even gonna say, i really need to step it up, and i need to eat less and choose healthier foods. i must be doing something right. i lost 11 lbs (very slowly) lol. so i will just continue to do what i am doing. and be patient! and i really believe i will get to goal this time.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:59 pm

i am still doing really good. following the rules and succeeding. didnt choose a very healthy dinner last night but, i am not perfect and i am not stressing. i chose to have drinks and peanuts. told you , not very heatlhy. good thing i dont do that to often.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Sat Jun 09, 2007 7:02 pm

i am doing soooooo good. i am still working on the drinks though. but one thing at a time. tomorrow i will be going to the buffet with my grahm and mom. i had told them i didnt want to go for the past month, and that is one way we spend time together, so i didnt go so they didnt go. grahm is in a wheel chair and its hard to push, my mom has corporal tunnel, so her wrists hurt. so they dont go if i dont go. so i had to tell her i would go tomorrow.

this is really gonna be a big test for me. i feel right now that i wont make it a binge, cause i hate that overstuffed feeling now and i hope i can make some healthy choices. it will be good for me to go. well on my s day, i did have some sweets, it felt weird cause even on my s days i had not wanted any ,but you know what, i was able to eat just a small amount and be in control and they werent even that good to me anymore. i mean they tasted good but i could have really done without it. i cant believe i am doing so good this time. i will make it!!
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

Charis
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Post by Charis » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:18 pm

I am so glad that you stayed with nos and are now reaping the benefits. Have a good weekend and enjoy your family

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Jun 11, 2007 1:06 pm

thanks i did. i ate a bit more on my s days then i have been in the past. but........ that is the beauty of the way of eating, i dont feel like i cheated on a "diet" i enjoyed some things i havent eaten in awhile and then i moved on. stil need to work on my excercise though. i only got three days in again.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

want2bhealthy
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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:56 pm

think i did pretty well at the buffet. not healthy choices but didnt make it a binge. today, i didnt get to eat lunch, i only had time to pick on slice of cheese, some potato salad, and a slice of ham, not at one time, either. so i guess i didnt eat enough, or it felt like i didnt eat, when i came home from work, i started off with popcorn then chicken flavored rice, then ice cream and a handful of chips, i was full but kept eating. i binged. just brought back that old feeling i got when i binged,.

i was even wanting to start ww pts again. i thought i was done thinking like that. we all know how that turned out before. i was wanting to quit my no s , just getting tired of the rules. although they are the simplest rules ever and it had been working. weigh in is in 2 days, maybe i am just getting stressed. i just hate that i lost control. feels terrible.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:35 pm

i am on another website for eating disorders and here is my post on there, i just didnt feel like typing it twice: my compulsive/binge disorder had been under control. but as i figured, i feel like i am slipping back into old habits. yesterday i binged, and then today was going to restrict calories and then probably fail at that and binge again. i have an 11 yr old daughter who is thin, and today she was crying to me, and saying she was fat.

now up until now, i had taught her to eat like i am suppose to be eating. i always told her to eat heatlhy stop when you are full and dont eat if you are truly not hungry. that has worked up until now. she has always been supportive of me trying to lose wt, which i never showed her i was doing unheatlhy. i did ww richard simmons, low carb. so i was never starving myself. but i always dont lose the wt i need to lose. she also told me that some girls at school are throwing away thier lunches and want to be anorexic. we talked all about anorexia and she knows how sick you can get from that. if i see signs i will take her to the doc. i just feel kinda of lost today.

she said today that she was scared cause she sees how hard it is to lose wt and lots of people in her family are overweight. so i need to lose wt the heatlhy way and be a good example for her.

just feeling confused and want this wt off now!!!! i really feel like i am not being a good example to her, cause i am not doing it, i am not losing wt i need to lose and living healthy. i am losingsome wt and have been positive on no s, but .. i just feel like i need to eat less. jus sometimes i t dont know if i can do it on nos. i love the plan love the rules, and while not having to measure anything is great, i feel like i need to , i really want this wt off and i feel like i am slipping back to my bingeing. oh, i am so confused.

guess i just felt really bad for my kid. and wishing i was thin so i can lead by example. i am not quitting i just have to make sure i eat enough for lunch and excercise more.
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slipping away

Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:49 pm

i binged again and am thinking about counting calories. it just seems whether i am on a counting plan or not, i find my way back to binging. tomorrow is weigh in and i am afraid of a gain. i think that is one reason i binged again. negative self talk is also coming back. i am never going to get to goal this way.
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Post by Charis » Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:08 am

I am sorry you are struggling. It is so easy to feel negative about oneself when one is out of control with food. But remember there is more to you than your struggle with food. You need to find the plan that bests allows you to live without it taking control of you. For me nos gives me the appropriate boundaries to deal with my wanting to go to food for everything, good or bad.

I hope you find peace. I will pray for you

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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:06 pm

thanks charis. that is so true. my weigh in this morning was a one lb gain. i am not surprised. i am in panic mode. ok, two days i screwed up, i am not going to gain back my 10 lbs, i worked to hard for them. i will count cal. and excercise. i will let you know how it goes. oh and i still had some dexatrim max left and i took one today just to maybe have more energy to move more and get back on track. i wont be taking them everyday. seems i am back to my old ways and will probably never get to goal. i know i cant think like that. i will get to goal. i will get back on track. just doubting myself and me being on no s again. i thought i was done doing that. i just want it all to stop and still feel like i am playing games. wasting time. i need to get my act together once and for all.

i just see all these wt loss shows and it is all about calories in and calories out, but if i dont know how many calories are going in? then how am i going to know how much i am burning off?

my daughter will come with me this week food shopping and we are gonna pick out healthy foods together.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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i am done panicing

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 13, 2007 7:46 pm

so i screwed up two days, is that a reason to quit and go back to my old ways of jumping on a calorie restricted diet?? no way. i will proceed with this and stick it out for life. i need to take a deep breath and just think about how i went off plan and how to deal with it , without quitting.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 13, 2007 9:00 pm

i realized the one lb gain was because on mon and tues i broke the rules. i binged which means i went back for seconds which is a no no on no s and i ate icecream and cookies which are sweets and are a no no on nos on non s days. and i have only been excercising 3 days a week. so all that put together equals a gain. i am lucky it wasnt more of a gain. this plan does work and i have been working the plan and it is working, as long as i realize what i did and try to avoid it in the future i can continue this plan and be successful.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Jun 14, 2007 12:26 pm

had a good dinner last night and am feeling better today. i will continue and be successful. i have already excercised 3 days this week. now this is where i usually get lazy. i need to do 2 more days , then i would meet my goal of my 5 days of excercise. havent done that in a while.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:41 pm

i am doing great, sticking with it, feeling really good that i dont quit every time i feel like quitting. i usually say i am going to quit, come on here and vent that i want to quit, but then come back to reality and dont do it. that is a big success for me. and probably a big reason why i have 10 lbs gone.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by Charis » Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:06 pm

I am so glad that you are doing better. I know how you feel when I get anxious about all the weight I have to lose (and it is more than you do) I just want to do something drastic and fast - but it ends up being so impractical and restrictive that it usually increases my obsession with food. Even when I lose on those programs I just become obsessed with the weight I am losing. I hope this program will help me be obsessed with living my life and food just be the fuel that enables me to live it well.

I hope you have an enjoyable weekend with your daughter. My goal is not to be an idiot this weekend.

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still learning

Post by want2bhealthy » Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:06 am

thanks charis, seems like we have the same goal for the weekend. lol your post to me, is exactly what i do and exactly how i feel. we really have to stick with this and trust the program.

right now i am having a drink and havent eaten dinner yet, it is about 8:40. i know late, but i was right on track with eating today. what is helping me is to make sure at work, i get a nice sandwhich in, it may take me some time to finish, cause when we are busy, i can only take a bite and back to work then take another bite and back to work. but someone pointed out to me that i am still on plan because i just put on a plate what i want for lunch and eat that and i am done. so i am not getting more calories in or i am not snacking, it is just my meal but it takes longer to eat it. so it feels like i am eating for over an hr, but it is only one thing. maybe a side of mac or potato salad. it works and i am full till dinner.

today i had on sour dough bread, a basil pesto sauce, part skim mozz ch, and roasted red peppers,grilled with some olive oil on the outside of the bread to make it crispy. it was so good and i was so full when i was done, oh and a little side of potato salad.

now,i was really stuffed. if i can learn to eat half of a sandwhich i know i would have been full. so my next challenge starting monday is to make half of a sandwhich with a small side of whatever, and see if i can stop and be satisfied. if i can do that i know the wt will fall off. but when i am overstuffed at lunch i can really wait a long time for dinner. but..... i hate that overstuffed feeling now, and i was getting tired and unmotived after i ate that lunch at work. so i am still fighting with decisons i have to make conerning food.

at least i am thinking now instead of just reacting.

my problem with bingeing was 3:00 and on through dinner. when i eat a nice satisfiying lunch, that time is not a problem for me. but i know now i dont need to eat that much at lunch. i am very happy i am learning so much and i now am confident i will succeed.
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Post by Charis » Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:36 pm

So glad you are doing well! Keep up the great work - it will be such a blessing to our life in the future and our children

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Post by want2bhealthy » Sat Jun 16, 2007 6:35 pm

you are right charis. i am not doing so bad for an s day, i am trying to control them as well. i am happy with my progress and i am confident that i will soon be able to start cutting my portions almost in half. i really dont need that much food anymore at my meals. thanks to no s. and being patient and of course everyone who stands my me when i say i am quitting. and talks me back on here. that was a big one for me and i am grateful
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Post by mimi » Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:05 am

Glad to see that things are working better for you now!
Discovered NoS: April 16, 2007
Restarted once again: July 14, 2011
Quitting is not an option...
If you start to slip, tie a knot and hang on!
Remember that good enough is... good enough.
Strive for progress, not perfection!

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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:29 pm

hi mimi thanks. i ate to much yesterday, but that is ok, i dont do that everyday and my binges? , well, cant really remember when i had a huge old fashioned sick to your stomach, feeling guilty kind of binge. that is a good thing. no excuses, there was just to much good food and i did all the legal s things, like seconds, sweets and snacks. felt a little out of control but i am ok with that, i am not perfect i still love food and i will just move forward.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 19, 2007 12:28 pm

well.. i had seconds at dinner and i ate an icecream sandwhich, both no nos on my no s plan during the wk. i started to panic and wanting to starve , because weigh in is tomorrow. that is why i didnt come on last night, i knew i would say things i didnt mean and have those thoughts of quitting. so i brushed my teeth , kept my thoughts to myself and talked myself right out of that negative mind set. that is also getting easier for me to do.

still hard for me to look in the mirror and believe i am making progress, but in my head i am. have a great day all.
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its baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!

Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:40 pm

getting tired of doing no s. i just want to make up my own rules and just apply my new thinking and new attitude about my wt and my bingeing. i might just try and see if i can trust myself to eat when hungry stop when full and prevent bingeing on my own, without following the no s rules. i have come so far with my bingeing and i think i want to test it, i dont know why, just curious. some days i dont feel like having three meals, sometimes i want to eat small amounts and be able to have a healthy snack in between. i know that didnt work in the past, but i just feel like giving it a try, as i feel like i am really changing when it comes to food. just like an experiment.

i think cause it is almost summer, my daughters last day of school was today, so schedule somewhat changes, her friends are over having fun in the pool and although they are only 11, they have just cute little figures, you should see my dauhgters abs. eating ice cream sandwhiches playing music, talking to boys, just brings back so many memories of just having fun and not worrying about food and wt all the time. i never truly grew up lol, just a kid at heart.

i just feel like( and i know it shouldnt effect what fun you have) but lets face it it does, i would be doing so much more and enjoying things more, if i could get this wt off. i know i am on my way, and i know i will succeed, it is just hard to deal with some days.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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wednesday weigh in

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 20, 2007 12:46 pm

well i must be doing something right. ok, some good news. its wednesday weigh in for me. i lost 2 lbs!! i am so happy. i hate that i am still in the 190's , but not negative talk. its the one lb i gained last week plus one. so i am right at 190. cant wait to get into the 180's which i am very confident i will do. i guess some lingering thoughts of , if i go off plan once or twice i have failed, but by the scales this morning i am still doing well and need to contiue with no s. i went off plan a couple days, but i still lost, so there must be something to this plan that is working for me. so i am really learning not to quit if i am not perfect on the plan. i mean it is how i have to eat for life, so i cant quit it right ??


15 yr anniversay is today although i have been with him for 22 yrs. we will probably go out to dinner.
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Post by Charis » Wed Jun 20, 2007 2:00 pm

Congratulations on your weight loss. I know the temptation has been great to quit but I hope you will hang in there and not listen to the negative voices in your head. I think that is how we break out of the long cycle of yoyoing and bingeing we have been on.

Congratulations on your anniversary.

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Post by want2bhealthy » Thu Jun 21, 2007 1:05 pm

you are absolutely right. this is how i will break that cycle of yo yoing and binging. thanks so much. i am still hanging in and doing good.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:21 pm

:( well.... i binged! , i feel terrible right now, i havent binged in a while. of course feelings of i want to eat anything i want and count calories, i want to do low carb. are running through my head i feel in panic mode again. i am just a mess right now, i think cause i have a busy weekend and one day is my family reunion some of these people i havent seen since my wedding. when i weighed 125. and i have a party on sat at 3:00, and on the same day as my reunion i have to get up at 6:30 and take a ride to trenton to see my brother who is at a correctional facility it is almost a 2 hr ride there and back and then we have to go right to the reunion after picking up my daughter and it is pms. i guess i am not handling things well today.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:00 pm

well, my binge lasted all weekend and through today. thoughts of quitting and going back on ww pts is of course on my mind. i will probably do that, fail again and come back. i hope not. i am just feeling really bad right now and totally out of control.
didnt think we were going anywhere for vacation this year cause of finances, but my father in law just told my hubby he will give us the money to go to my favorite beach for 4 days july 16. i hate how i look in a bathing suit, my boobs are so big, i hate them. i want to lose wt just to get rid of my boobs!! so i am deparate again and giving ww pts a try agin tomorrow.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:43 am

ok on my wed weigh in, not to bad a one lb gain. now back to reality and no s, i didnt count pts yesterday anyway. just me venting out of frustration at myself for letting myself eat really bad for 3 days.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:21 pm

well. i am pretty hopeless, cant seem to get back on track. guess i really am gonna have to do this on my own. got to figure out how i can lose this wt and get healthy, and be able to make it fit into my lifestyle.

i am so sick of the 190's. i am thinking of just making up my plan, which will be not having a plan. i think the rebel in me doesnt like to follow someone else's rules. my daughter was baking cookies and i came in and took a handful of chocolate chips, i didnt binge on them, but that is the kind of stuff i do sometimes, and i have to be able to do that without thinking i am breaking some kind of rule on an eating plan.(on no s , no sweets until sat and sundays or special occasions) i am not even a big sweet eater, but in my brain, just not being able to have them is making me want them more. dont know if i will be back. i just cant get it together. :(
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by Charis » Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:11 am

I hope you will come back. You are so close to being out of the 190's, it would be a shame to throw in the towel now.

Sometimes saying "no" is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. You can have chocolate chips - on "S" days. I have binged on food in the past many times. This nos plan seems to have the most hope for at least during the week to keep me from a binge.

Besides it was one handful of chocolate chips, you can overcome this. You are a stronger person than those emotions. Step back take a deep breath and push the restart button.

I am pulling for you

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Post by want2bhealthy » Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:48 am

thank you so much charis, see that is my problem i thought i was done with the feeling of, oh i had a handful of chocolate chips , i blew it , i had sweets on an non s day, i failed , i might as well quit. but i see and feel the consequences of quitting.

here it is: i didnt follow my plan. i got to work and i needed to make potato salad which needs to be tasted and my co worker who i was with today doesnt like mayonaisse stuff so i tasted it and it just triggered me off i just kept on picking here and there and then my boss made a great sandwhich, which the ingredients i dont even like

but she made me taste it i work in deli so how can i tell someone how a sandwhich tastes unless i taste it, and it was sooooo delicious, but who knows what the calorie count was. then when i got home hubby was in a bad mood from work and tried to pick a fight. i went outside with my daughter and we read books, then. i was bored and just started eating. i am doing horrible i feel horrible. and now it is 11:12 pm and i am drinking. i am losing it and i feel like i am back at square one.

could it have been my allergy pills making my appetite go away?, i dont need to take them anymore for some time now. and i was thinking i was doing so well on the no s? i am trying to figure out why i was d oing so good and now i am doing so bad. i feel so fat right now, i am craving all the carbs and salty things and even going for sugar, my period is over. cant figure out exactly what is going on. but i want it to stop!!!!!!!! why do i keep repeating the same pattern?? i really really thought i had "cured" myself, with the no s plan . i know you guys arent professionals, but you are going through some of the things i am, well at least i think you are???

when i read my posts, to me i seem worse then everyone else. 4th of july is coming soon, and i know i said this before, but i still live in the town where i went to school and on the holidays i see alot of the people i went to school with and their kids are friends with my kid. i see them every year and i love to see them, but with the hopes that "THIS YEAR" i would look and feel different. it never happens. so i am a little depressed. thank goodness there is no more drinks in the house and i dont have money to get anymore, and i think the store is closed.

i really needed to vent. i am really not looking for anyone to be able to help me, but i know the support is here and i am grateful.
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Post by Charis » Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:11 pm

I am sorry you are struggling. I understand your feelings about seeing people again and wishing you were smaller. I have a conference coming up that happens every two years. Two years ago I hit my highest weight while there and felt miserable and horribly ashamed. Now two years later I am almost the same weight. It is disheartening and when I think about it my anxiety level increases to near panic levels - truly that is how I feel. There are times I want to chuck nos and go on some crash diet so that I can lose as much weight as possible in two weeks. Even if I did that I would still be fat and the amount I would lose would only be a small percentage of what I need to lose and no one would probably notice the difference anyway. When I feel those feelings of panic rising in me - I journal until I can come to a rational place and I pray a lot (my faith is very important to me). When the feelings have had there run, I realize that though the numbers on the scale are not better than two years ago, I am in a much better place emotionally and in my relationship to food. I think this is the right path, slow though it may be. And believe me it is going painfully slow for me. I can't give up the greater peace of mind that I have. I am under no illusions that I am cured from my food issues. I need to continue to cultivate these good habits every day. The harder the cravings etc the more I am going to try to lean into the rules. I can not trust my feelings. They are not good indicators of the truth and if I may be so bold your feelings are not a good indicator of the truth for you either. One thing my counselor tells me is to separate the mistakes (overeating, bingeing etc) from the person. They are not moral statements on our character - they are mistakes and we are much more than our mistakes. Once I (you, we whatever) see our mistakes as simple mistakes and not linked to our value they start to lose their hold on our hearts and minds. My advice - say out loud that right now the destructive behavior will start and treating yourself well, with respect will begin at this moment. Exercising some controll may feel very empowering to you. Hey this all comes to you free of charge and that may be all it is worth, but know that I am pulling for you. I am glad you came back.

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Post by want2bhealthy » Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:25 pm

hi charis, thanks for taking out the time to talk some sense into me. your whole post makes lots of sense. it really makes me think about myself and why i keep wanting to quit. i appreciate you still being here for me. i need to take what you said and really thing about it. you really did make alot of logical statements.

now , some things i have to change. i dont eat enough protiens or veggies, they are pretty non existant to me. i dont drink enough. i think i may try some sugar free mints, between, it may help me not to pick at work. i mean how can i even think about eating potato salad when my mouth taste like mint. might feel like i just brushed my teeth. i dont know i am just trying to think out loud.

oh he** i dont even know what i am talking about anymore, i am just so sick of fighting with myself about my wt and how i am going to lose it. i am at a point now where i dont even want to eat!!
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by want2bhealthy » Sun Jul 01, 2007 5:56 pm

i guess i am just trying to cope with the slow process of losing wt the "right" way. guess i am getting impatient with myself. but....... i have to stick with it and have confidence in myself and the no s way of eating.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
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Post by paulrone » Mon Jul 02, 2007 6:07 pm

I went back and read all of your posts. I don't know if you realize the progress you've been making. I can see a difference in the types of things you say in your posts and the attitude you have.

So maybe you hit a low spot once in a while, but I see real progress happening. I admire you.
-Sometimes Fundamentalist and self-appointed King of the S-day Moderates
"As it is (sometimes) written, so let it (sometimes) be done."

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Post by want2bhealthy » Mon Jul 02, 2007 11:37 pm

hi, everytime i get down on myself for not being perfect on this plan and i want to quit. someone is always here to give me advice and stop me from making that mistake. thank you so much paulrone, for taking the time to read all my posts, maybe i ought to go back and read them as well.
i am going to the shore in two weeks and i guess i am just panicking , i love the beach but i still hate the way i look in bathing suit.

thanks to all for the support on here. it really means so much to me. :D
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
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Post by want2bhealthy » Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:02 pm

starting to get my positive attitude back again. i woke up really hungry though, so i had a big breakfast, hoping that i wont eat that much at my other meals.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

Charis
Posts: 184
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 3:07 am
Location: Wisconsin

Post by Charis » Sat Jul 07, 2007 4:29 pm

I hope you are doing well. I miss you. I understand your discouragement, the scale has not been that kind to me either and it is disheartening. However, I am committed to staying with a plan that reduces my emotional chains to food and I will adjust my portion, types of food and my idiotic behavior on the weekends to get to a place of real freedom and a healthier body. Have a nice weekend! :)

want2bhealthy
Posts: 248
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 5:08 pm
Location: audubon nj

Post by want2bhealthy » Wed Jul 11, 2007 12:07 am

hi charis, i got bronchitis, and just didnt have energy to get on here. i started feeling better about sunday. anyway of course eating was very irregular, then when i felt better i binged. i like your post, especially about acting like an idiot on the weekends. well, out of the blue my dream of owning a condo at wildwood nj beach may soon be coming true.

which i love, but it also makes me panic cause i will be on the beach more and i look horrible. i want to enjoy myself without worrying about how i look. we are going in on it with my mil which also makes me panic and my brother in law and his wife and kids also own one near us. i dont know now we will all get along but my mother in law is turning 70 and my husband will be 50 in 2 yrs. they work hard and want something to show for it. i hope it works out.

, i am getting tired of fighting. i guess i am getting frustrated cause i have every intention of losing this wt and lots of ideas that i think will get me there, and then i always fail and feel like a fool for posting "new plans" that i never follow through with. i need to just excercise and concentrate on controlling my binge eating.
man, i have tried EVERYTHING else, this has to be my last stop.
starting fresh july 1-09
wt 207

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