Jennifer24747's Check-In

[Jennifer24747]

Hi, everyone! I guess I don't have much to check in about yet, because I just discovered No-S and this is my first day. I'm really glad I found it, because I think it offers the structured flexibility I've been looking for. I've never really been much of a serious dieter, and I'm not really overweight at all...just a little soft in places. The thing is, though, that I just started my first desk job post-college. Before now, I'd worked in restaurants and retail, which meant a pretty active lifestyle. I'm worried I'm going to fall into bad habits that a lot of people seem to pick up in offices, and I don't want to gain weight. I also have a ravenous sweet tooth, and usually it seems that the best way to control it is to abstain for awhile--so knowing that I have a meal plan to turn to and that allows for indulgences at certain times, and a system of accountability, is a great feeling. I'm hoping that this will help to control my sweet tooth.

I also have a bad habit of overeating at night. I'm fine all day, for the most part; I've been good about not snacking while I'm at work, and I cook healthy dinners almost every night (saves money and calories! Win-win!). I've been a calorie-counter but that's just so tedious, and it doesn't always keep me accountable. It's easy to not mark foods down. At least this way, it's a simple yes or no.

The one thing I'm excited about? Feeling hungry again! Snacking takes that away, and it really screwed up eating intuitively for me. I'm going to weigh myself in the morning to see where I'm starting out, and I'm looking forward to checking back in! Hopefully once a week or once a month...or so the plan goes.

Wish me luck! See you soon!

[Amy3010]

Good for you for being proactive - I wish I would have been as health conscious when I first graduated from college! Doing No-S is a great way to build good habits. Welcome!

[Jennifer24747]

Well, here I am at the end of Day One. No snacking at all today! Crazy! But I made it through. I'm a bit hungry right now; my stomach is rumbling, but dinner was only three hours ago. I think it's because I'm so used to snacking at night, so this is my body's way of fighting my decision to keep food out of my mouth after dinner.

Tonight was a bit tough because I made a 9 x 13 dish of baked berry oatmeal to last for the next few days' worth of breakfasts, and oooh my God did it smell good. Made me want to curl up with coffee and a big steaming bowl of oatmeal, the way I usually do on Saturday mornings. But I didn't! Good thing I had some work to do to distract me--my fiance and I are painting our living room/stairway/upstairs hallway, so I had wall-washing and priming to occupy me until now.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast: Baked Berry Oatmeal; 0% plain Greek Yogurt with sliced strawberries.

Lunch: leftover "beans and greens" from yesterday's dinner (garlic chicken sausage, navy beans, kale, Parmesan cheese, and chicken stock with garlic and onions; a piece of sourdough bread on the side; roasted broccoli on the side).

Dinner: Awesomely delicious turkey and quinoa meatloaf; a nice pile of kale; grilled sweet potato kabobs in coconut oil; a (small!) glass of red wine; a small glass of nonfat milk.

I was starving by dinner time, but I made myself eat as slow as I could and really enjoy what I'd put on my plate. The wine went straight to my head, though, so nooo more of that until I get used to the three-meal thing.

See you all later!

PS--thanks for the welcome, Amy!

[Amy3010]

LOL - yes, a glass of wine does pack a powerful punch when we are truly hungry!

[Jennifer24747]

Day Two! I'd say it was a success!

Rushed a little at breakfast because somehow I was running late this morning, but I was held over until lunch. I started to feel a little hungry around 10am, and it gradually increased until noon, then I'm starving. But it's okay--okay to be hungry.

Also, didn't eat the lunch I'd had packed; one of the principal engineers treated me to lunch, which was really nice. Then, when I got home after work, my fiance Nate was painting again with his friend Luke. I had planned to make pork chops, but Luke is apparently vegetarian now, so we ordered Chinese instead. The bad news was that the food was about 45 minutes late; the good news is that I didn't snack before dinner, even though I was so tempted to. I decided to keep my hands busy by dusting off all the displaced living room furniture/accessories/DVDs, which are all piled in the dining room while we paint.

I can't believe I made it through two whole days without snacking or eating sweets!! At dinner I've been a little lax on the "seconds" rule, only because I'm not sure how much food I need to feel satisfied knowing that there won't be another meal until breakfast. I haven't gone crazy and I haven't gorged myself, but as long as I'm not snacking or eating sugary stuff, well...it's a start. All I can say, though, is that tea and water have become my best friends in between meals.

Oh, and I weighed myself this morning--I was 157lbs. Ugh, that means I gained about five pounds since starting my desk job in December. Yikes! Good thing I'm paying attention now. I'm 5'9", though, so it doesn't look too bad on me.

Today's Meals:

Breakfast (7:00am): Baked Berry Oatmeal; 0% Greek Yogurt; organic fuji apple; coffee with half and half.

Lunch (12:30): Chicken Pesto Panini with mozzarella and tomatoes; iced tea.

Dinner (7:45): Moo shu chicken; won ton soup (okay, so not one plate, but the container COULD fit on the plate...), a bit of white rice, and a tiny taste of pork lo mein. Oh, and a glass of wine to help me paint, of course. A DMV-approved portion, but it still got me tipsy. I'm such a light weight.

[Jennifer24747]

Yesterday was a SUCCESS! Woo hoo! Three N-days down! I've been waking up every morning feeling light (and hungry, but that's easily remedied). Again we were finishing up the living room, and I spent a lot of time cooking and cleaning up both the kitchen and the now-finished living room. I think as long as I can keep myself busy in the evenings, I won't be tempted to snack then. Maybe it's time to do some Urban Ranger? Shovelglove? Start a blog like I've always wanted to? Either that, or my house is going to be the cleanest thing you've ever seen.

BREAKFAST (7:00am): Berry Baked Oatmeal (of course) with 0% Greek yogurt and pineapple tidbits; coffee with half and half.

LUNCH (12:30pm): Biiiiig salad with beet, goat cheese, bacon, strawberries, and chicken.

DINNER (8:00pm or so): Garlic-ginger pan-fried tofu; brown jasmine rice; stir-fry with three colors of bell peppers, onion, and broccoli in a coconut curry sauce; roasted curry cauliflower.

Happy S-day! I'm off to bake...I just don't know what![/b]

[Jennifer24747]

Got through my first two S-days. Saturday was a lot like an N-day for me, only I did snack at night, and I ate things I wouldn't normally eat during the week. I had two eggs and three pieces of toast for breakfast (and coffee, of course), then spent some time shopping and ate lunch at Panera, where I had creamy tomato soup and a chicken panini. I forgot to ask for an apple as my side, so I ended up with a white baguette, but you know what? It was an S-day, so I ate it happily. (This reminds me that I forgot to bring an apple for lunch today--grr! That's my "dessert" almost every day for lunch.) I had a few pieces of chocolate between lunch and dinner, and also a glass of wine--I was at my mom's house and she just gave me a glass. Then I went shopping with her, and afterwards we went to dinner...and this is when things got a little crazy. I had a fried chicken cordon bleu sandwich, french fries with that fake melted cheese, and fried zucchini with marinara sauce. I also had two captain and cokes (goodbye, glass ceiling...oh well, at least it was a good three hours between wine and captains). When I got home, I stuck a few pieces of cookie dough that I'd prepared early in the day in the oven, and had three cookies with a glass of milk. That's when I started to regret things a bit; I should have done without it. However, my brain said to me, it's an S-day! You better enjoy it now while you can. So now I learned not to listen to that voice.

Sunday started out with good intentions, and I had baked oatmeal for breakfast and lunch. I spent a lot of the day in the kitchen trying out different recipes--made peanut butter (success), made Nutella (epic fail), made cornbread (big success), made the rest of the cookie dough (success, of course), and I think that's it. I ate two more cookies with a small glass of milk, then went over to my sister's apartment for dinner, where we had chili and cornbread, with this crockpot cake thing with ice cream for dessert. So good. I drank a Dr. Pepper while I was over there (ugh, shouldn't have...I never drink pop), and tried a Birthday Cake Oreo (my advice? Stay away from those, they're gross and super sweet). I had seconds of chili and ate WAY too much cornbread, but didn't eat anything for the rest of the day, except a glass of orange juice. So, basically, I am not drinking anything with calories until Saturday!

I thought at first that Mondays would be really hard to do NoS, but I'm seriously kind of glad that I have to follow the structure.

[Jennifer24747]

Well, today I failed. It's strawberry season, and I'm a little obsessed. I picked up a four pound box from Costco this weekend, and I also happened to pick up an issue of Cooking Light with a million strawberry recipes in it. There was a recipe for Strawberry Buttermilk Sherbert, and I couldn't help but make it--I had buttermilk that I had to use up in the fridge, plus a billion strawberries and even Chambord, which the recipe called for and I somehow have this in my fridge. No idea where it came from.

I managed to stay away from the strawberries for the most part yesterday (well, I had a few, so I didn't count it as a failure), but today I had the sherbert with homemade whipped cream and more sliced strawberries after dinner. So...fail.

The good points, though, are these: at least I indulged with some fruit, and the sherbert was free of added sugar (well, save the Chambord, which I'm sure has sugar). I mostly use Stevia extract these days unless I'm doing some hard-core baking, or baking for other people. I also have a stevia plant in my herb garden (I found it at Lowe's, believe it or not!), so I'm going to try and try out the leaves and maybe add it to teas. I'd like to try and make some of my own loose-leaf teas this summer.

One of the weird things about NoS right now is getting used to not counting calories. I've been tempted a few times to just give in and start calculating calories. One of the things I learned from counting was that as long as I don't eat sugar or desserts, I stay below 1600 calories pretty consistently--I mean, I generally cook pretty healthy (not so much today, I'll admit). So there should really be no need to count. I just kind of feel lost not doing it, but it was so freaking tedious. It's better this way.


BREAKFAST (7:00am): Tropical Baked Oatmeal, Greek yogurt with strawberries.

LUNCH (12:00pm): Leftover pork chop; lemon green beans; roasted broccoli; cornbread; an apple.

DINNER (7:00pm): Fried rice (using leftover rice from Chinese food last week) cooked in coconut oil, with egg, carrots, peas, onion, garlic, leftover pork chops, and chicken; side of kale cooked in low-sodium chicken broth, olive oil, garlic, pepper, and a sprinkle of salt.

FAIL (8:00pm): Homemade Strawberry-Buttermilk Sherbert; homemade whipped cream.

[Jennifer24747]

Had a crazy good dinner today! Only problem was, when I got home I was so hungry I was shaking. I don't know why; I had a decent sized lunch. I guess it was a little more carby than usual, though, and I had strawberries instead of my usual apple. I had some slices of raw bell peppers when I was preparing dinner because I was starting to feel not so fantastic, but I'm still counting this day as a SUCCESS. Any day that I don't snack like a crazy person at night is a success--and better to eat bell peppers than, say, a Snickers bar. Not that I had one anywhere near me, but you get the point.

I'm still trying to get used to not calorie-counting. Even though tonight's dinner was awesome, it's so hard to get past the fact that I don't know how many calories were in it. I'm afraid it was way too high.

Even despite yesterday's fail, I'm proud of myself for going five days without snacking at night, and without sugar (or anything sweet, for that matter!). I didn't even crave anything tonight at all.

TODAY'S MEALS

BREAKFAST: Two smaller servings baked tropical oatmeal (they fit in one bowl and I skipped my usual yogurt this morning); coffee with half and half.

LUNCH: leftover homemade chicken and pork fried rice; leftover kale; half a cup of strawberries.

DINNER: Loaded veggie sandwiches! Panera's tomato-basil bread topped with eggplant grilled with olive oil and oregano; grilled red, yellow, and orange bell peppers; grilled onion; roma tomato slices; healthy hunks of melted fresh mozzarella and a sprinkling of fresh grated Parmesan; basil pesto; two basil leaves. Yummy!

If you can't tell yet...I love to cook!!

[Amy3010]

I could kind of tell - your meals sound delicious!

I also do not count carrots or raw peppers that I eat while preparing dinner. If I gave myself a red for those kinds of things, the floodgates would open and I would find myself experiencing that disordered thinking that I had to make the day's eats "worth" a red, and end up eating much worse food as a result. So I definitely agree with you on that!

[Jennifer24747]

Good, because I was kind of worried! I thought the same thing--better to eat veggies than anything else. I think it saved me from craving snacks/sweets in the evening, too, because like I said...I didn't want anything sweet yesterday! And that's not like me at all!

[Jennifer24747]

Yesterday went well! I didn't eat while preparing dinner this time, except to check to make sure the rice I was cooking was...well, cooked.

I usually have Greek yogurt and baked oatmeal for breakfast, but this morning after the oatmeal I wasn't really hungry anymore. I made myself have about two tablespoons of yogurt, though, because without the protein in it I start to feel hungry really early on in the day.

Today's going to be a failure, I already know--it's the boss's birthday and we're having chocolate cake later. Then next week, it's someone else's birthday, and we're having cake again.

We eat a lot of cake at work.

Although, I guess the last cake we had was back in March, so we went all of April without a cake. I don't want to say no because that would be rude, but I'll ask for a small piece.

Apparently almost everyone's birthday is in the summer, too--go figure. My birthday is July 7th, and another girl who works here has a birthday somewhere in the first week of July, too. July is going to be a very cake-filled month.

The good thing about cake at work--because I'm always trying to find good things--is that cake at work doesn't come home with me. I eat a small piece at work and that's it. I don't have a whole cake left at home to sit and look at and continue eating.

Yesterday's meals...

BREAKFAST: Berry baked oatmeal, greek yogurt with blackberries.

LUNCH: Leftover veggie panini.

DINNER: Vegetarian black bean enchiladas; leftover asparagus; leftover slice of grilled eggplant; slice of raw bell pepper; Greek yogurt in place of sour cream; some strawberries. Yay produce!!

Also, I found some things out about an awesome farmer's market near me that happens every Saturday. They sell chicken, eggs, goat meat, milk, and cheese, homemade breads, and of course veggies. Nate and I have already signed up for a CSA this summer, so we'll start getting veggies every week in June, but I think I'm going to make it my mission to try to eat as much locally grown and produced food as possible this summer! I'm also going to learn how to can. I've already got a ton of mason jars; all I need now are the veggies and the know-how.

[Jennifer24747]

S-days weren't crazy this weekend, and I'm okay with it. On Saturday, Nate and I went down to the Strip District to do some shopping. We got a small frittata sandwich-thingy for breakfast and cold brewed coffee. Then we walked around and bought a ton of good food: bulgur, quinoa, Israeli couscous, almonds, pecans, hazelnuts; goat cheese, sharp aged provolone, and some kind of crazy-good Italian cheese; a loaf of sourdough bread; balsamic vinegar of Modena poured straight from the barrel. We got fresh oysters and rainbow trout; some of the biggest beets I've ever seen, and so soft, so delicious Italian chocolate crinkle cookies.

On Sunday I had to go with my sister to try on bridesmaid dresses for her wedding. I was so excited because I fit into a size 6! Actually, the one dress I put on was actually a four. It zipped and everything but I couldn't breathe! Haha. Still! A six!

Gives me the motivation to keep on No-S-ing!

[Amy3010]

Good for you! You are doing great - I think having one piece of cake at the office party could be counted as an S event, if I understand how that works correctly.

[Jennifer24747]

Woo, I don't know what happened to me the last couple of days, but I totally fell off the wagon. I blame the chocolate crinkle cookies.

I had half of one after dinner the past two days, with a small glass of milk. And then there's this stuff I found at Trader Joe's called "Cookie Butter," and I ate a couple spoonfuls. Yikes! I blame the fact that it's almost TTOM, but still. No excuse.

At least my S-days were pretty tame this week. What's weird is that I was hardly hungry at all at any point on my S-days, and I didn't eat a lot.

Also, there have been cookies and cupcakes in the break room all week, but I haven't touched them! I've still been eating smaller servings of my normal good-for-you meals, and I've been satisfied. I just can't resist those cookies--thank God I don't buy them often! Maybe like, twice a year. Nate said he's going to eat the last one.

I've GOT to start exercising again. For about two months I got up a few times a week and went to the gym for 5am. I was going to 5:45am spinning classes M-F and 9:15am spinning on Sundays and sometimes Saturdays. I've got to get back into that routine, because ever since I stopped moving as much I've felt more tired and generally blah. I mean, I pay for a gym membership. It's stupid not to use it! And it's been warm outside, so there's no excuse to not go (I have trouble getting up when it's cold!).

Maybe I should get up and go tomorrow, since I botched all my N-days so far this week.

[grantmeserenity]

I think that the whole exercise as a punishment for eating is a way to hate both activities. I would focus on the last part of what you said- you feel blah because you aren't moving. Exercise is a positive way to feel better! That helps me anyway. Using it as punishment gets me into a bad cycle.

I don't think I could keep up with that much spinning and I am a pretty avid exerciser. I envy your resolve.

Woo, I don't know what happened to me the last couple of days, but I totally fell off the wagon. I blame the chocolate crinkle cookies.

I had half of one after dinner the past two days, with a small glass of milk. And then there's this stuff I found at Trader Joe's called "Cookie Butter," and I ate a couple spoonfuls. Yikes! I blame the fact that it's almost TTOM, but still. No excuse.

At least my S-days were pretty tame this week. What's weird is that I was hardly hungry at all at any point on my S-days, and I didn't eat a lot.

Also, there have been cookies and cupcakes in the break room all week, but I haven't touched them! I've still been eating smaller servings of my normal good-for-you meals, and I've been satisfied. I just can't resist those cookies--thank God I don't buy them often! Maybe like, twice a year. Nate said he's going to eat the last one.

I've GOT to start exercising again. For about two months I got up a few times a week and went to the gym for 5am. I was going to 5:45am spinning classes M-F and 9:15am spinning on Sundays and sometimes Saturdays. I've got to get back into that routine, because ever since I stopped moving as much I've felt more tired and generally blah. I mean, I pay for a gym membership. It's stupid not to use it! And it's been warm outside, so there's no excuse to not go (I have trouble getting up when it's cold!).

Maybe I should get up and go tomorrow, since I botched all my N-days so far this week.

[Amy3010]

Oh, those evil chocolate crinkle cookes - - LOL!

Hang in there, and I'm with grantme above - get back to your exercise because it makes you feel so much better.

Although, I think I would have a hard time getting up that early, no matter what the temperature!

[Jennifer24747]

I haven't fallen off the wagon. This past week was kind of difficult; there were two funerals in my extended family and the week was thrown off-course. Some days were successes, some days were failures; I just don't remember which ones. So I didn't update or write on here.

I feel like I need a bit of focus though this week, so I'm back to keeping track.

[Amy3010]

So sorry to hear about your family's loss.

[Jennifer24747]

Man, I am no good at keeping up with check-ins, am I? Or updating my HabitCal. I really need to make it a point to do it.

I've been doing pretty well, I think. There have been nights during the week where I've had an indulgence, and I've realized that it's just a habit that I need to break. It's so Pavlovian it's ridiculous...it's like my body just expects to get sugar after dinner. Crazy thing is, whenever I'm distracted--for instance, I had my mom over for dinner last Friday and we sat and talked, and a few weeks ago when we were painting the living room--I don't think twice about it. It just fades out of my mind.

I've got to start cleaning out my closet and getting clothes ready for donation, so that could be something to keep myself occupied. I also have to clean my basement up again. After making it the dumping spot while the living room was a mess and having the cat's litter box there...ick, it takes a beating.

I'm also trying to convince my fiance to let me make our spare room into a giant dressing room for me, but he doesn't seem to be going for it!

Last time I weighed myself I was either 156 or 155 pounds, but I can't remember. That was on Saturday.

Also, our fridge broke over Memorial Day weekend, and it was a week and a half until we could get another one (yesterday!). I was having trouble finding the motivation to cook when I knew I couldn't just have my food stored at home and would have to shop every dang day after work, so we kind of improvised. More meals were eaten out than I would have liked, but what am I supposed to do? But now we have a new fridge, and our first CSA share of the season is ready to be picked up today, so there will be a giant dinner with veggies GALORE. Oh my goodness, I cannot WAIT. I think we've got a nutritious dinner waiting for us tonight, because last night we went to a five-course beer pairing event, and the night before we went to the annual Arts Festival and indulged in street vendor food. While the food at the beer event was so fantastic and actually pretty healthy--oh, and smaller portions; I felt very comfortably full afterwards--the beer was not the healthiest thing I could have had. These events are once-a-year deals, though, so how could I pass it up?

Now THIS weekend, we have a retirement party to attend. So busy!

While I might not be following it to the absolute letter, No-S has shed some light on the most basic of healthy eating principles that were lost to me, somehow. I only eat three meals a day instead of breaking them up into smaller snacks, and dear God, it feels good to be hungry again. I enjoy that gnawing feeling in my stomach, because it makes me know that I will actually really, truly enjoy the meal I have waiting for me. I won't just be eating because it's three hours after my last snack, which means it's time. If I'm crazy hungry between lunch or dinner, I have something small to take the edge off. No-S has been helping me to LISTEN to my body, to really examine if I need food for energy or superficial enjoyment. And while there are times when superficial enjoyment is definitely okay, it's helped me to establish boundaries and limits to when I should do it. It keeps indulging special, which it should be.

I'm still struggling with being able to hold off on eating what's left in front of me even when I'm not hungry anymore, especially if I'm in a situation when the food is going to be wasted. At the Arts Fest, I got chocolate covered cheesecake on a stick and got so, so full about halfway through. Nate had gotten his own dessert, so he wasn't keen on finishing mine, so I kept eating. I couldn't throw half of it away in the garbage, and I couldn't take it home since I still didn't have a fridge at home where I could store it!

How do you guys handle situations like that, be it in a restaurant when you can't take your food with you (maybe you're going on a plane trip or can't leave your food in the car, something like that) or other potentially wasteful situations? Do you listen to your mind or your morals?

[Amy3010]

Throwing food away is so HARD! What is the deal with that? I struggle with it, too...

[Jennifer24747]

I have been forcing myself to stay away from calorie counting because I think that ultimately, it's not the healthiest thing for me to do for myself. I start to obsess and I become a slave to it, and it's not healthy mentally.

Well, I was curious yesterday about what I'd been eating, so I logged and calculated my food. Yesterday was definitely a No-S fail because I had a little bit of gelato before dinner. This was because we had to go pick up our CSA share, and Nate wasn't home yet, and I was starving. Thanks to the fridge still not being stocked, there was nothing really healthy to turn to other than Nutella on toast!! It actually did hold me over until I got home to cook.

However...I plugged in the calories on the calorie counting site I like this morning, and I still ate about 1600 calories, even with the gelato splurge. While I'd like to kick the sugar habit, but hey...reasonable calorie intake.

So, score on that front, but it's still not helping me on the "stop demonizing certain foods" front.

Yesterday's meals:

Breakfast: Two slices of wheat bread with Nutella; iced coffee with cream and stevia.

Lunch: Lean Cuisine Spinach, Artichoke, and Chicken panini; fuji apple.

Dinner: Quinoa salad with bacon, spinach, avocado, tomato, feta cheese, lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, cilantro, garlic scapes, scallions, and salt and pepper (next time I'll omit the salt--too much of that from the feta and bacon. Should have realized earlier); turnips and greens cooked in water, butter, and a bit of sugar.

[Jennifer24747]

Monday down! Yay! Thursday is ANOTHER office birthday (seriously, it's like, one every two weeks!), but I'm proud of myself: I grocery shopped while hungry today and I really wanted to get something sweet, but I didn't! Instead I ended up taking out my hunger on other kinds of food for meals all through the week--like marinated mushrooms, corn salsa, and hard taco shells. Oh, I got some pears and a watermelon, too.

No temptation in this house!! And it'll be good for not just me, but my fiance, too. After a really busy weekend--and Saturday being more of an N-day than an S-day, with two meals and a bowl of ice cream--I'm finally getting back into the groove of things. Full, healthy, WORKING fridge; I just got done making my baked berry oatmeal, which I've missed SO much; full meal plan ready for the week. And NO junk in my house!! Yay!!

I was so tired today, too, because we went to a blues festival out by where Nate's family lives--about four hours from our house--and we didn't end up getting home until about 1:00am, and we were exhausted after spending the day drinking, playing games in the grass, and listening to great music. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and of course we didn't have a lot of good food in the house since we'd been away and I hadn't gone shopping, so today was a struggle. Nutella for breakfast and a quick trip to the freezer aisle of the grocery store for lunch again. All I wanted all day was junk food--I almost got cookies when I went to grab a latte, and chips, and a Snickers bar--but I didn't give in. I told myself that you crave S food when you're tired, but it's the N food that'll give you real energy. You've really got to fight cravings sometimes, but when you do, it's so worth it. It feels like you've conquered something.

Also, reading other posts on this site can be really inspiring, and it's helped me to stay on track and remember the ultimate goal.

Today's meals:

BREAKFAST: 1/2 cup old fashioned oats and one tablespoon of Nutella; coffee with half and half and stevia.

LUNCH: Lean Cuisine Chicken, Spinach, and Artichoke panini; fuji apple; plain latte from Panera (I had a free one, and if there was ever a day when I needed espresso, this was it).

DINNER: Fresh mixed greens from my CSA share with Trader Joe's healthy 8 veggie mix; quinoa; rotisserie chicken breast; roasted red peppers; marinated artichoke hearts; goat cheese; garlic scapes; sunflower seeds; Trader Joe's light champagne vinagrette; cherry tomatoes...and I think that's it. I had some watermelon and stuffed grape leaves on the side. SO good!!

[Amy3010]

Grocery shopping while hungry can be a real minefield - I try to avoid it if I can. Good for you for handling it so well!

[Jennifer24747]

Amy - thanks! Haha, it really is hard to do it when you're hungry, and I try to avoid it, too. If I would have waited, though, I would have stayed home and ordered pizza! Good thing I didn't, because my fiance had pizza for lunch. Don't wanna pizza-out the guy! Haha.

Yesterday--Tuesday--was a success! Yay! Five days in a row down, if you count toward the 21 day challenge. As usual, after dinner I wanted to eat something sweet, but all I could keep thinking was, "It's just habit! Just break it!" And then I got that old Linkin Park song stuck in my head, "Breaking the Habit." Oh well, could be worse.

I thought Thursday was office birthday day, but apparently it's today. Oh well, not a big difference. So there will be key lime pie today. Thank goodness I've got a major veggie day ahead of me, with leftover kabobs for lunch and stir-fry for dinner.


TUESDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: my beloved baked berry oatmeal; watermelon.

Lunch: Leftover salad from dinner on Monday; a pear; some BBQ potato chips.

Dinner: Steak kabobs full o'veggies; sauteed kale (most delicious thing, seriously...I loooove kale), some grilled watermelon (just wanted to try it out, but since my watermelon was balled, not sliced, I think it turned out different...), and some sourdough bread topped with Trader Joe's "Unexpected Cheddar." Yum!

[lbb (Liz)]

I relate to the pull of calorie counting, esp. when you feel like you are overdoing it, but it never helps to log it in, I think!
And to the thought that you want to finish off any leftover food!
Sounds like you are doing really well. And you make wonderful meals! I relate to lots of the types of food you eat. Yummy oats in the morn, lots of yummy TJ's stuff, etc.
Take care and keep up the good habits!
(I'm so going to download the Linkin Park song!...it really is just habits!).

[JayEll]

Don't calorie count. That's what we're trying to get away from--the obsession with "exactly how much." You can never know! All those numbers are estimates and averages.

Besides, it tends to make you think you can eat more, whether it's accurate or not.

Throw away leftover food at restaurants, if you can't keep it and have it as a meal another day. There is nothing "moral" about eating more food than you should under some odd idea about "wasting" it. You'll just be "waisting" it instead, LOL.

[Jennifer24747]

Liz--thanks! I love cooking and coming up with new recipes. There's something so exciting about it! If I hadn't started thinking in the No-S way, though, I'd be eating a heck of a lot more than I should. There's something about cooking with fresh food and really tasting all of the flavors that come together--I don't know, I'm just happier and more awake when I'm eating a TON of veggies and whole grains!

JayEll--I laughed out loud at the "waisting" it thing! That's a good point, and a nice thing to tell myself. It's hard to get out of the "Clean Plate Club" mentality that's driven into you as a kid, you know? Calorie counting really does make me obsess, and it's NOT HEALTHY. It's a struggle to get past the, "But how many calories IS this!?" voice in your head. But you're right, you'll never really know, even if you log every gram. The one thing calorie counting had opened my mind to, though, is that I only go over calories when I break out the desserts, alcohol, or snacks (or restaurant meals, but I try to limit those). I've never really been one to grab seconds unless it's a holiday. Good thing NoS controls--or at least limits--those moments of indulgence. It makes them special again--makes them into indulgences again. Because when it's a regular thing, you're not indulging anymore, are you?

[Jennifer24747]

Yesterday, though a success, was a STRUGGLE. Oh my Lord. We did have the key lime pie at work for a birthday, and it made me feel a little sick to my stomach after I ate it--waaaay too sweet and tart for this girl. A little goes a long way, but again with the "I don't want to waste it!" mentality.

At night, after dinner, no matter what I did I couldn't get sweets off the brain. It sucked. It didn't help that I was making peanut butter in the kitchen (I started making it after seeing how much junk/sugar was in pre-made peanut butters; mine is just Trader Joe's unsalted roasted peanuts in the food processor, processed until smooooooth. I don't eat it often, but my fiance loves it on toast for breakfast). I licked off the bit that got on my fingers, but that's it. God, it was good, too; I love it when it comes out of the processor, because it's always warm and runny. It's like peanut butter on toast without the toast.

Finally, around 9:30 with my brain still on sugar, I had a few watermelon balls. The thoughts instantly went away, which is crazy, because this watermelon wasn't very sweet. I'm still going to count this day as a success, mostly because it was an interesting experiment and a few pieces of watermelon won't kill me. But it really was a Pavlovian thing--next time, I'm not going to eat the watermelon. I'm sure I'll survive.

Oh, and I woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday, then found out it's Thursday...and it was a happy moment! So happy Friday Eve, everyone!

WEDNESDAY'S MEALS:

BREAKFAST: baked berry oatmeal (surprise!), watermelon balls, coffee with half-and-half.

LUNCH: Leftover steak and veggie kabobs; leftover quinoa; leftover piece of sourdough with cheddar; a fuji apple.

DINNER: Stir fry with chicken marinated in Trader Joe's Island Soyaki sauce; Trader Joe's Healthy 8 Veggie Mix; sugar snap peas; baby bella mushrooms; bok choy from our CSA box; carrots; onions, and garlic scapes, stir-fried in coconut oil--which, funny story, I accidentally dumped all over my kitchen floor. It was half-liquid, half-solid, but I thought it was all solid...so when I tipped the jar to pour it, well. Chaos ensued. Anyway, we ate the stir fry over top of a bag of Trader Joe's shredded green cabbage, which I cooked down in coconut oil with a little bit of sugar. The cabbage was a nice, low-carb substitute for rice, and Nate said he actually perferred it to rice. I kind of did, too. It added more veggie-ness to my veggies! Haha.

I'm not really into the low-carb thing, which is probably obvious by how much oatmeal and fruit I eat. However, I try to keep excessive starchy/grainy carbs out of my dinners and focus on protein/veggies. Carbs at night make me feel weighed down and sleepy, but in the afternoon I feel like they're energizing.

Also, I'm surprised at how full my baked berry oatmeal keeps me. I eat it a little after 7:00am, and I don't start to get hungry until 11:30am. Yet when I would eat oatmeal in the morning and snack at 10:00am, I was always SO HUNGRY right before my 10am snack. Habits must really be controlling of my appetite, which is another reason why it's so important that I break the "need food after dinner" thing. Not even fruit anymore. Also, on S-days I should try not to eat anything sweet after dinner. I don't know where the heck this habit came from, because I didn't grow up in a house where dessert was an everyday thing, but regardless, I'm dealing with it now. So...in the future, no more counting days as successes even though I had a little bit of fruit at the end of the day. Just beacause. Sounds strict, but I think it's the only way to break this out of me.

[lbb (Liz)]

We NEED the strictness. Because I think of things I used to never do, but do now, and they happened little by little...
SO happy for you that you kept your day to just the key lime and a few watermelon balls. Sounds like you listened to yourself, didn't have the WTH syndrome, and shut the gates. YAHOO!
Habits die hard! I used to be the eat 6x/day kind of person. I wasn't necessarily heavier, maybe even weighed less, but it felt like a full-time job keeping myself fed. Esp. when we'd go places! Plus, I had to eat so small at those times.
But I remember always having a protein bar post-workout even after my morning oatmeal. I now cannot fathom that. My oats keep me full for a LONG time.
WE CAN CHANGE HABITS!
I'm with ya, though, on trying to force away that gnawing desire to eat sweets post-dinner. We can do it though.
Take care. Stay strict. It's Thursday!

[Amy3010]

It totally is habit - I also used to be one of those people who would have breakfast, go work out, and then be dying for a snack at 10 am or so...It amazes me now that I can do exactly the same kind of mid morning workouts and be just fine until lunch!

It sounds like you did really well!

[Jennifer24747]

Thanks, ladies! I know what you mean about feeding yourself feeling like another job when you eat six times a day--it's almost like you just get sick of eating, and meals are no where near as satisfying when they're so small. It sucks. After reading your posts, you probably feel the same way, Liz--but it's like, when you're telling yourself you can only eat a little bit at a time, you're not satisfied, you just want more, and then you can only think about your next meal. Three meals lets you really stretch out the "eating experience" and enjoy it. It really is amazing how you can adjust to three meals, and honestly, it was so easy for me to move into it (save the desire to eat sweets at night).

But let's talk about yesterday. Haha. We had plans to meet our newly-engaged friends at a restaurant to play trivia, which doesn't start until eight. I'd only had my leftover veggie stir-fry for lunch with an apple--I'd brought chips but wasn't hungry anymore by the time I'd finished everything else, so they stayed in my lunchbox. I wasn't even tempted to eat them for the rest of the workday.

Oh, and GET THIS. Someone brought in doughnuts and they were sitting right behind me all day--ALL DAY--and I didn't eat one. I'm not kidding. Somehow, I wasn't even tempted to eat one. I didn't look at them, because I knew that would mean I'd think about them all day. I can't get over it.

After work, though, I was really hungry. I sat and thought about whether it was an emotional hunger or physical hunger thing, and my stomach growled and I felt empty. I ate my leftover lunch chips because I knew we wouldn't be eating until late. But the real damage came when I got home and ate the rest of the watermelon in the fridge! Yikes. I was full by the time I got to the restaurant, but I still had a cup of chili and a small garden salad. I had two beers, which is a lot for me...I don't drink beer often, but I've found a kind that I like, so when it's on the menu, I'll order it. Then our friends ordered a giant set of soft pretzels to share, so I ate a quarter of that.

I know I shouldn't do it, and I try really hard not to, but I counted the calories. According to the estimates (the restaurant we go to puts up a nutrition sheet), I only had about 2,300 calories all day. So, no need to be bummed about that--it's still normal--but I'm counting it as a NoS fail, because I should have skipped the watermelon and waited until dinner.

HOWEVER...at least I lost control on watermelon, not donuts!!! I mean, hello, that's a win. 100 calories of watermelon versus a 600 calorie donut? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about trying to stop demonizing certain foods, but when you get down to it, a calorie is still a calorie. The watermelon is super filling, has fiber, and is generally a better choice. It isn't loaded with N-day taboo white sugar (just fructose, but that's a different story for a different day).

I'm confident that today will be a nice N-day. First, I've got a headache from the beer (only two glasses, too. God, I'm a lightweight). Second, I don't have any sweets in my house to tempt me after dinner, and hey, the watermelon's gone! Haha. I think we're staying in for the night, but I'm not sure. I have some veggies in the fridge that I'd like to cook up before they go bad, and after last weekend, I just want to sit still for awhile. Nate wants to go to a state park tomorrow with some friends, but apparently it's for yet ANOTHER beer tasting, and I don't think I can handle more beer. Ugh. Maybe I'll try to make an excuse to stay home.

THURSDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: bet you can't guess! But I had baked berry oatmeal, coffee with half and half, and a small glass of orange juice.

Lunch: Leftover stiry-fry, small apple.

Snacked on: small portion BBQ chips, too much watermelon.

Dinner: Cup of chili, garden salad, soft pretzels, two beers.

Here's to hoping for a green day today!

[lbb (Liz)]

Wow I'm so impressed with you! Way to go on the donuts. It's amazing how that "other self" can sometimes convince you one donut is okay. And you resisted! A definite feat of strength. That resistance muscle is getting huge!

As for the watermelon, you made all the correct points. Yes, mark a fail, but a success in that you didn't go all "what the heck" syndrome...and it was watermelon! But you're right: habits are habits. You start with watermelon now, it may be the donuts another time. So, yes, red, even though it's more a shade of pink!

I TOTALLY relate to the not helping yourself in calorie counting. Even though you know you shouldn't, when I'm concerned I had too much, I definitely do that. It makes me feel a little better. But SOMETIMES (most of the time), it makes me feel worse. It really is a temptation, esp. on S days to cal.count in order to keep in line!

Sounds like you make yummy meals, but maybe with lunch yesterday even if you had not felt hungry for more, maybe you didn't feel "satisfied", which lead to the watermelon. I sometimes have to make sure I have a crunch, sweet, savory taste at each meal. Weird, I know (cracker, salad, cheese, fruit kind of thing).

Good luck today. You're rocking this!

[Jennifer24747]

Great point--I don't want to start a slippery slope of bad eating habits. That's counterproductive. I used to go into "WTH Mode" all the time, back when I first started "dieting," but I haven't done it very often lately. I keep reminding myself that there's plenty of time to "redeem" a negative behavior, and that one cookie is a heck of a lot easier to burn off than six. I'm not immune to it, but I've been more aware of what's going on. It's a lot of progress from where I used to be.

Today was a big success! My mom called me after work and asked if Nate and I wanted to go to dinner with her, so we went to this Italian place. Of course the portions were gigantic, and I wanted to keep eating, but I ate until I was full, and not uncomfortably so. Seriously, I feel like I've succeeded tremendously after only doing NoS for a few weeks. I don't know what in my brain clicked with this, but everything I'd been having problems with as far as food is concerned is slowly getting more tolerable, or easier, or just changing all together. Power of habits?

I kind of wanted to look at a dessert menu tonight, but I reminded myself that it's Friday and I'll bake something delicious tomorrow. Oh, and also I'd taken a pear to work with me because I was going to eat it for breakfast, but then ran a little late and had to bolt. When I got to work I was thinking, well, I'm not hungry and this will be more like a snack, so I saved it for lunch. I was tempted to eat it throughout the day, but stayed strong and made it my "dessert" for lunch. I love saving a piece of fruit for the end of lunch, because it's just enough sugar to satisfy me at the end of a meal.

I think I should start a NoS blog, because I'm super talkative. I probably wouldn't make it a strictly NoS thing, but add in some recipes and other things that strike me as blog-able. Haha.

I don't know if this forum was meant for my epically long recaps! I can't help it, though. I'm a creative writer by hobby and a technical writer of sorts by profession, so...it's my thing.

I rewarded myself a little bit today, just for making a strong effort to change: I ordered a bunch of skin care products off of the Philosophy website, because they were having their Friends and Family sale (30% off!). Apparently they make some of the best cleansers and peels, and I've been having blackhead issues lately. Also, I want to start a more rigid skincare regimen to ward off aging--I've been doing pretty well with moisturizing/toning/etc since I was about 17 or 18, but now I want to step it up and get a nice eye cream and try out a peel. I'm so excited! I also saved a lot of money with the promo code, and that's a wonderful thing.

Anyway, the rundown:

BREAKFAST: The usual, with a tiny, tiny bit of OJ, and of course coffee with half and half.

LUNCH: Cheese pizza with some salad and a pear.

DINNER: Salad, Mahi Mahi, a giiiiiant pile of veggies and a side of angelhair (all on one plate, but there's still enough left over for lunch tomorrow). Also two sangrias--kept under the glass ceiling, and these babies were AWESOME. Also, now I'll know to use Valpolicella in my sangria instead of a cabernet or zinfandel or something--if you've never had it, Valpolicella is an Italian red wine with a smooth , fuller body. So delicious.

Well, folks, I'm off to enjoy my weekend. I hope you have a wonderful pair of S days!

[Amy3010]

Good for you! and I love the statement "plenty of time to redeem a negative behavior"! That's one I will remember.

[Jennifer24747]

Yes, there's always time to back out before you get too deep into a bad choice! I'm trying to remind myself of that right now. I had a fail day today, boo. There was a cupcake in the house, staring at me. I guess my willpower over the donuts left me! But it's so much harder for me at night, after dinner, to have willpower.

I'm really struggling right now to not go shove chocolate chips in my mouth. The only reason I want them is because I know that they're in there. So I'm going to go and take a shower and brush my teeth, because I can get over this. I already had a cupcake when I shouldn't have; I can make it through the rest of the night.

My S-days were pretty good this week. Yesterday night I started to feel a little out of control; I definitely ate more than I should have at night. I was in a bad mood; there's been a lot of family drama in my life for almost the past year, and I was dealing with a little of it yesterday and took it out on the food. I think that might be one of the reasons why I'm wanting to eat and eat tonight, too. But I don't need food to soothe those problems, because it's not going to do anything about them. At this point, I don't know what will.

Tomorrow I have my company picnic at a baseball game, but I'm going to try to be as moderate as possible. The next day is ANOTHER birthday at work, and Sunday is Nate's company picnic at a baseball game again. That's why I'm kind of peeved at myself about that cupcake, but...mark it and move on. Don't make it worse.

Sorry for the blah tone today...I'm just bummed about the crap this weekend, that's all.

MONDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: Baked oatmeal, coffee, orange juice.

Lunch: Mahi mahi, veggies, pasta--leftover from Friday.

Dinner: Grilled escarole salad with homemade dressing, cucumbers, tomatoes, garlic scapes; high fiber pasta with mushrooms, spinach, garlic, chicken broth, and truffle oil.

Dessert (gr): Chocolate cupcake with vanilla buttercream.

[Amy3010]

I hear you on the family drama - I've been dealing with a ton of that this spring, and it's not fun at all. And definitely not conducive to good eating habits - or drinking for that matter. I found myself drinking two and three glasses of wine during stressful phone calls with family members, and realized it was really starting to be a problem for me. Thank goodness for glass ceiling and No-S!

I hope things are better for you today - and good job on limiting your fail to just the one cupcake - that in itself is a success!

[Jennifer24747]

Thanks, Amy--the drama makes me drink a heck of a lot more than I ever thought something would. Not that I'm tossing them back all the time, or anything; I've managed to stay under the glass ceiling or not drink at all most of the time.

The thing is, my sister stole my wedding date, and that's where a lot of this stems from. My fiance and I bought a house together three years ago, and we'd been talking about getting married for a year before he proposed last September (we were waiting for the right time for him to be financially ready to get a nice ring, that sort of thing). My older sister overheard him when he was showing the ring to my mom, and next thing you know, two weeks later, she's engaged before Nate got a chance to propose. It's more complicated than that, but that's the easiest way to explain it. I was looking forward to planning a wedding with my mom and actually enjoying it--I'd already gotten invitations on sale and had a bunch of inspiration boards saved on my computer; I had a dress in mind, and colors, and venues, a florist, a baker--but as soon as my sister got engaged, it was all about her and her wedding. My mom forgot about me and what we'd been planning, and now I just don't even care about any of it anymore. I had to push my wedding back so my sister could get married, and now I'm being dragged out to bridesmaid dress shopping things and I have to sit in on all these stupid conversations about her wedding, and let's just say the only way I deal with it when that happens is when I drink a few more than I'm supposed to. God, I'd given up tequila before this, but now Jose Cuervo and I get along pretty well. I don't even want to have a traditional wedding for myself anymore, this has made me so sick--I just want to go to Las Vegas or something and do it without anyone but me and Nate and maybe some friends, if they want to go.

I'm not an alcoholic, I swear, haha. This happens maybe one weekend a month or so, and I'm such a lightweight that "drinking more than I should" means three drinks.

Things will get better. I just have to convince myself that not having a traditional wedding will be the right thing to do, and that I won't regret it.

I didn't eat anymore last night after my post, though, so that's a good thing! Hopefully tonight will be easier.

[Jennifer24747]

Okay, I'm feeling a little better, so I'm going to write a little bit about my S-days this weekend.

Saturday morning, Nate and I made chocolate-chip pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Unfortunately I left the pancake-making up to Nate, and they weren't cooked as well as I like them to be, so that was disappointing, but I ate them anyway because I didn't want him to think I didn't like his food...which is typically what happens with anything he cooks that isn't meat or seafood. Go figure. Anyway, he left to go to some Beerfest thing about two hours away, and I elected to stay in town and go shopping.

I met up with my mom briefly while out, and she said she was going to run to a bakery, and did I want anything? I considered and said, sure, a chocolate cupcake. She left and I kept shopping, feeling proud of myself that I stayed away from all the impulse buys I really wanted.

I got frozen custard before driving to my mom's house, and then once I was at my mom's, I ate the cupcake...only instead of one cupcake, she got half a dozen. I stuck to one.

She came home from church, and I went to dinner with her and her boyfriend. I had some fried zucchini, half a cheesesteak, and some French fries (they're some of the best I've ever had...couldn't resist!).

The next day, Nate and I went out to breakfast. I had two eggs, pancakes again (which were delicious but I couldn't finish), and two pieces of toast (ugh, carb overload!). I ate an early dinner at my mom's house (chicken kabob, spinach salad, herbed and buttered potatoes) with a beer. Another cupcake for dessert. Then the whole chaos of my family drama happened, and I drove home and cried. It sucked. I kind of fought with Nate a little (all my fault, I was just stressed...no excuse), then went grocery shopping and had some nice conversation with the people who worked there, which made me feel a little better. I got home as Nate was leaving to help a friend put a motorcycle back together. I put away some groceries, then ate some watermelon, a glass of orange juice, then some more watermelon, then some BBQ potato chips, and then some Speculoos (spelling?) cookie butter. I mean, jar in one hand, spoon in the other. Even then I think I was being fairly moderate, with it, but that's not a moderate behavior. I wasn't hungry, but Nate wasn't there, and it was technically dinner time but I wasn't hungry for a real meal after frontloading all my food that day. And I was just upset. Usually I have trouble eating when I'm upset, but this time, I didn't. I'm wondering if it's because I was lonely, too? I just wanted someone to be there with me in the aftermath of feeling so abandoned and forgotten by my family. I don't like to stand in the way of Nate going out with or helping his friends, though, so I turned to that friend I can always find...food. I didn't want to eat. Eating was uncomfortable. But I wanted to taste something, wanted to enjoy the texture.

I feel like I might have eaten more than I wrote here, but I can't remember if I did or not.

I've never been able to identify the emotional reasons for why I overeat at certain times before NoS, and I'm not sure why it's easy for me to pinpoint now that I'm NoEssing. Maybe because it leaves me the room to think about feelings instead of calories and nutrition content? Maybe because it ultimately helps me to think about food as food, not good and bad?

I don't know. I think my S days this week, other than the Sunday Night Snack-a-thon, were okay. I enjoyed them. I added foods I don't typically eat, like the double-dose of pancakes and fried foods. I just wish I hadn't gone nutso on Sunday.

[lbb (Liz)]

I know it's hard to eat lots on S days.
But I'll tell ya: don't beat yourself up about S days.
Really, never do, but you can't fail on those days.
I had some over-the-top-ness, too. But I'm disappointed that I underwent some RED behavior yesterday, an N day instead.
So, focus on the 5 days/week GOOD behavior and the rest should work itself out.
Oh, and that speculoos Trader Joe's cookie butter? So don't blame ya for eating that outta the jar. Heaven.
But on an S day!

[Jennifer24747]

Today was a success! Yay! I had some high-calorie foods, but there was a lot of walking around today at the baseball game.

Nothing really to tempt me. I wanted some ice cream at the stadium, but it was surprisingly easy to resist. It's crazy, every time there's something new or different thrown into my routine, I don't strongly crave sweets after dinner.

So Pavlovian.

Anyway, the rundown:

Breakfast: Normal! Had some watermelon instead of orange juice.

Lunch: Leftover pasta from yesterday; leftover salad; small apple. Didn't finish the pasta.

Dinner: Primanti's sandwich with cappicola; a beer; half of a Mike's hard lemonade.

[Jennifer24747]

Hooray for success today! Well...we had cake at work, but I've gone over this enough times to say that work birthdays will still count as successes as long as I'm moderate throughout the day. And I was!

So many veggies today. I'm happy.

I wanted watermelon again after dinner today because it was soooo hot outside. I mean, SO hot. However, since I had ice cream cake earlier, and since I'm trying to break any sort of nighttime eating habit--even of the healthy variety--I put down the proverbial foot. I decided that I should just start including fruit on my nightly plate, and my problem should be solved. Just because it's there doesn't mean I have to eat it right away--I can sit and talk with the Fiance for awhile before I eat it, which is always nice. I like to catch up with him during dinner.

Also, had an eye doctor appointment today, and the doctor said that I had a perfect checkup and that my eyes have never looked healthier!! I'm so excited--I've had a fair share of eye problems, AND I'm severely myopic with slight astigmatism.

Anyway, I just got done posting on Liz's check-in about breaking the habit of night eating. I'm always craving dessert after dinner, no matter what, and it's such a big downfall--but it's also linked to routine. I tend to do the same thing day after day, especially during the week. So I'm going to add into my posts how I'm "Breaking the Habit Tonight." Which of course brings me back to singing Linkin' Park in my head, but whatever. At least it's one of their better songs. But "breaking the habit" will not include food, not ever.

As if I wasn't long-winded enough already! Haha.

TODAY'S MEALS

Breakfast: Overnight oatmeal! Shocker! This involves mixing 1/2 c. old-fashioned oats, 3tsp chia seeds, 2oz greek yogurt, about 1/3-1/2 c. milk, and a tiny bit of stevia extract together in a mason jar until well combined. Then I put in some almond extract and some frozen mango from Trader Joe's (or fresh, if I've got some!) and shaking up the jar until it's all mixed together. Leave it in the fridge overnight and you'll wake up to a fantastic breakfast! I also had coffee, of course.

Lunch: A Panera Thai Chopped Chicken salad without the wonton strips (leaving them out cuts 130 calories!) and a small apple. Delish!

Birthday event: one slice of Heath bar ice cream cake from DQ. Made me feel sick to my stomach.

Dinner: Grilled marinated pork chop; roasted broccoli; yellow squash, zucchini, garlic scapes, and tomatoes coated in grapeseed oil and Mrs. Dash Original, then grilled in a grill pan until soft.

I should also note that I drink water almost exclusively, save for my coffee every morning and maybe some orange juice with breakfast, if I feel like it. I drink 64oz. of water every single day, but I usually try for 80 ounces, especially when it's hot out. Sometimes I drink more than that. It really does improve your skin.

HOW I'M BREAKING THE HABIT TONIGHT:
Tonight, I cooked dinner later than usual because Nate was mowing the grass. I folded a ton of laundry while he was doing that. After dinner, instead of sitting on the couch to watch TV or surf the internet, I took a shower and put a mud mask on my face when I got out. I sat here and typed this while it dried, then washed it off and went through my normal skin care routine. Now I'm finishing this entry, and it's almost 10:00pm. Time to read a book for a little before passing out for the night.

Tomorrow's Thursday, all! That means it's almost an S day!

[Jennifer24747]

Thursday was green! I had a glass of wine at night after dinner, but that doesn't count as a fail. I also plated up some watermelon to eat with dinner, and wouldn't you know it...no strong cravings last night.

After I finish my plate, there's always this weird little sense of aniexty, almost like, "Wait...that's IT?" And it sucks to think I can't eat anything else until the next day. I always want to eat more dinner right after I finish, but that feeling goes away within fifteen minutes. I've always felt this, even before NoS, yet I've still never really been much of a seconds kind of girl. I've always kind of rode it out.

I didn't really have to do anything to break the habit last night, because like I said, I didn't really think about food. I watched a few episodes of one of my favorite TV shows on DVD before I went to bed.

I know now that I only failed on Monday because I had one measly cupcake in the house. If I don't have any sugar around, my chances of succeeding for the day increase by, like, 90%, because I'm not likely to reach for anything savory at night.

THURSDAY'S MEALS

Breakfast: Overnight oats, coffee.

Lunch: Leftover pork chop; a giant pile of zucchini/squash/tomato mix; a decent pile of homemade pasta salad; a very small handful of chips from the breakroom.

Dinner: Giant salad with mixed greens from our CSA box, topped with roasted beets, goat cheese, pecans, red onion, cucumber, dried cranberries, chicken, and homemade dressing; watermelon.

Happy Friday! Just remember...tomorrow's an S day!

[lbb (Liz)]

Oh man yummy meals!
GREAT work on your green day! YAY! I know the feeling of anxiety about "that's it?". I never feel that way post-break/lunch...just dinner.

I so agree about not having the sugar around. Lately i'm just keeping popsicles since they are SO not a temptation. Great for the kids thought.

Take care this weekend!

[Amy3010]

Hi Jennifer, I'm just catching up on your posts here since Tuesday. I'm so sorry to hear what happened with your wedding plans...that's completely unfair. The funny thing is, I deal with similar issues with my family so I can really relate to that feeling of being totally disregarded. My parents actually didn't even come to my wedding - it was all just my husband's side of the family. The thing is, though, we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary this year! So at the end of the day - whether they were there or not didn't affect our marriage over the long haul.

I've suspected for a while that a lot of my eating issues are tied up with some of these emotional issues (with regards to self esteem, feeling that I deserve to take good care of myself) that come from the dynamics in my family of origin. I'm working really hard to heal these things for myself because I don't want to repeat those patterns with my own kids and their future spouses.

I hope for you that however you decide to marry, that at the end of the day you can shift your focus to your future with Nate and are able to let go of the drama with your mother and sister as much as possible. It's not easy (it's taken me more than 20 years!) but it's worth it in the end.

Hang in there and have a good weekend!

[Jennifer24747]

Thanks for the "pep talk," Amy. I know that a marriage is not about the one day of the ceremony, but of the lifetime that follows, and I keep trying to tell myself that. I'm still at the "anger" stage, though, so I keep getting blinded by that. I'm not ready to let go of the fact that I'm probably not going to have the wedding I'd been dreaming about before, that I'd been so excited about. I just feel like it wouldn't be right anymore. I don't know why, but that's just how it feels to me: like I can't do it anymore. I'm just trying to accept the fact that it's going to be different, but part of me isn't ready to let go.

Knowing that eventually, it won't matter either way...that makes me feel better. That's one of the things that's making me hold on: thoughts of, "well, will I regret it later?"


Anyway, on the NoS side of my life...

Friday was a success! So had it not been for that darn cupcake on Monday, I would have had five green days. Boo!

Saturday and Sunday were fairly mild. Saturday morning I went a little overboard on breakfast, which is really unlike me. Two eggs for breakfast, with two pieces of toast, one of which was spread with Nutella; then I made some of my baked oatmeal and had a bunch of that. It was like two meals in one. I felt pretty icky afterward, but Nate and I spent a good chunk of the day cleaning the basement, which felt a lot like a workout. We also went grocery shopping, then came home and made some amazing tacos (which are happily nestled in the fridge for lunch today). I got some Smores ice cream sandwiches from Trader Joe's and had to try one (um, amazing), then we lit a fire in the backyard and I ate real Smores. Three of them. So, yeah, Saturday was overboard.

Sunday we had another baseball game to attend. For breakfast I made poached eggs with canadian bacon and goat cheese on a sourdough english muffin, and had a big bowl of pineapple and watermelon to go with it. At the game, I had a Mike's hard lemonade and this ridiculous pulled pork sandwich with a pierogi on top--thing is, the guy working the stand gave me, like, triple the amount of pierogi that you're supposed to get!! There were three or four of them on there!! But holy hell, it was good. (For those of you who don't know, a pierogi is a Polish dumpling-like filled thing, usually cooked in butter and onions. This one was filled with potatoes, and I couldn't believe how good it was with the pulled pork.)

I also got a giant soft-serve ice cream cone with chocolate sprinkles afterwards. At home I ate more watermelon.

Thank God it's N-day. Hopefully I will not be tempted by the ice cream sandwiches still in my freezer tonight--I want a week of green!!

[Jennifer24747]

Okay, so, I'm having mildly bad cravings right now. Funny, as I typed that, they sort of ebbed away--maybe because every night when I know eating for the day is over, I come on here and post? Interesting mental connection.

Anyway, I WAS really wanting food a moment ago, but maybe because I was sort of bored. I was playing with my cats out in the yard (we only let them out when we're with them, and--no joke--they like to chase tennis balls, just like dogs), but it's kind of chilly, so I came in. Nate's out there smoking a cigar.

I just got all of my new Philosophy cleansers and skincare in today, so I'm so excited to wash my face tonight!!! Haha. I'm going to do that as soon as I'm done writing.

Today is so far, so good. I'm going to say as of right now I'm green, but if I screw up, I'll post tomorrow. I won't, though--I'm determined to go a week of green! There's a work cookout on Friday, though, and I'm in charge of desserts--I needed an excuse to bake, so I'm going to make chocolate cupcakes with Nutella buttercream, and white almond cupcakes with strawberry filling and strawberry cream cheese icing.

MONDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: Baked berry oatmeal, coffee.

Lunch: Leftover tacos from Saturday, a pear.

Dinner: Dover sole in a lemon-caper-butter sauce (made in a foil packet on the grill), sliced raw kohlrabi with salt; broccoli roasted in grapeseed oil with a little salt; a bowl of pineapple and watermelon; a small glass of Reisling, which I didn't finish.

[Jennifer24747]

Made it through the rest of the night with awful cravings...and didn't indulge. I feel so good to come here and mark the day green!! I feel like I conquered something.

I can't believe I did it!! Resisting nighttime cravings is something I was never able to do before. But knowing that this board is holding me accountable--knowing that I won't be able to mark the day green if I gave in--gave me the stuff I needed to get through it.

God, it feels good! Really good!

I was thinking that I might make Friday my S-day this week, and have either Saturday or Sunday be an N-day. I'm going on a kayaking trip on Saturday, and I tend to only eat two big meals when we do that--I'll take fruit and snack on that in my kayak, but I don't consider that anti-healthy-eating. I just want to be able to fully enjoy the cupcakes I'm making for the work cookout!! Haha. Then on Sunday, I might go boating with friends.

We'll see.

[Jennifer24747]

Today I had my first dentist appointment in five years...and, shockingly enough, no cavities!! My dentist and the hygienist were floored. Neither of them could believe that my teeth are in such good shape, which is funny. "And your teeth are so white!" the hygienist said. I said I brush twice a day, use Whitestrips once a year, and use Crest Advanced Vivid White toothpaste and sometimes Crest whitening mouthwash.

So I learned that brushing your teeth really does pay off!! Haha.

Now I'm on their "list," which means that they'll send me an appointment card every six months. So that means no more skipping out on the dentist for five years. My teeth do feel super clean right now.

Today a couple that we don't get to see very often called and asked if we wanted to go out to dinner with them, so we did. It was super fun. I had pulled pork with Carolina BBQ sauce, cornbread, coleslaw, and fries. I was SOOO hungry by dinner! Every bite tasted so good.

I'm proud of myself because all day, I was thinking about food and just wanted to eat. Nothing in particular; I just wanted to chew on food. I didn't, and I'm proud of myself for waiting so long in between lunch and dinner (almost eight hours! Maybe eight and a half). I had some watermelon when I got home because I was looking forward to having it with the dinner I'd planned--only we didn't eat the dinner I'd planned. So, yeah...I ate some watermelon. I'm not counting it as a fail, just because.

I'm feeling so good, so energized. I always thought I'd be so tired all the time after I got a desk job, but I'm not. I think it's all the good food we eat around here. Crazy, what a difference that makes.


TODAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: the usual.

Lunch: Leftover sole/broccoli/kohlrabi.

Dinner: Pulled pork, fries, cornbread, slaw. Deeelish!


Oh! I also ordered a copy of the NoS book and I got it in the mail today!

Also, I realized that I definitely, without even counting, must be consuming less calories than I did when I was snacking. Maybe this should have been obvious, but my meal sizes haven't changed since then--but I don't have my pre-No-S mid-morning snack (oatmeal) or mid-afternoon snack (cheese and almonds). I'm also not eating a daily dessert/random night snacks. Together, those things will probably have cut out almost 700 calories (YES...seven HUNDRED) from my daily calorie budget.

If I don't lose weight...well, then I dunno what I'm doing wrong.

[Jennifer24747]

So much for my all-green week!

Sigh. For some reason, yesterday was just one of those days that distracting myself wasn't working. I had a big spoonful of Nutella, I kept munching on strawberries, and of course I ate watermelon. A lot of it. I'm a watermelon freak.

So, yeah...I'm super bummed with myself that I couldn't resist, especially since a) I had a big dinner out the day before, b) we have our work picnic tomorrow and I'm making AMAZING cupcakes, c) Forth of July is next week, and I throw a gluttonous party that I refuse to diet for, because not only is it the 4th, we also celebrate my birthday, which is on July 7th.

Saturday is the kayak trip, though, and I did Urban Ranger it for awhile before my dentist appointment on Tuesday. Not that that's enough. I'm going to get a sledgehammer for some Shovelglove soon, because I need it--and honestly, I only have about fifteen minutes a day to work out on top of work, cooking dinner, and trying to write 1000 words a day for my book. There's only so much you can squeeze into a day.

I can do 15 minutes.

YESTERDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: the usual.

Lunch: Panera Thai Chopped chicken salad without wontons; an apple.

Dinner: Homemade Asian chicken salad of sorts with snap peas, edamame, mandarin oranges, carrots, some kind of asian radish from the CSA share, arugula, head lettuce, chicken (of course), quinoa, and a homemade vinaigrette.

Diet Fail: Nutella and excess watermelon.

[lbb (Liz)]

Happy Birthday in advance!
I know how you feel about the upcoming holidays, good food, etc.
I think it important to be REALLY specific about your expectations on those days. I know that I am going to try and draw a few REALISTIC lines for myself with all the family gatherings we have coming up.
I CANNOT stand/eat (that leads to bingeing for me).
I CANNOT pick at food. Get a plate and done.
I CAN have a treat/dessert, but must sit down and eat it.
Where I go wrong are the nibbles, licks, "non-eating" eating...ya know?

I'm sorry about your "fail" yesterday but wow, watermelon is hard to say is a fail. I know I know, it's about habit, but on these hot summer days I gotta say that watermelon sounds delicious!

Keep on keeping on and just move ahead.
Take care.

[Jennifer24747]

Thanks, Liz!

Your "rules" for the holiday are actually pretty genius, and they make perfect sense. I might borrow some of those...sounds like some good ways to keep excess under control.

Yesterday was a legit fail, thanks to the cupcake bakery my kitchen became. But...holy crap. Have you ever tried Nutella Buttercream?

Words cannot express.

Now I might have to make some white almond cupcakes with nutella buttercream, just because.

YESTERDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: Usual. No coffee though, because it didn't taste good.

Lunch: Leftover asian salad...ooooh my God so good.

Dinner: Greens and beans with chicken apple chardonney sausage, white beans, and basically every kind of leafy green I could find in my fridge (kohlrabi, beet, and swiss chard).

[Jennifer24747]

Wow, pretty much all of last week was a total bust (thanks cupcakes, thanks a lot), but it's a new month. Clean slate. Plenty of S-days thanks to holidays and a birthday, although right now I'd rather just cleanse myself with my three healthy meals.

I really had to improvise today as far as meals--I have dinner planned, but I didn't shop this weekend since we'll have an overabundance of food on Wednesday. I ended up throwing together a garbage bowl salad of sorts with random leftover vegetable matter, cheese, beans, and some kind of corn salsa, and breakfast was the same thing, but with cottage cheese, fruit, and seeds instead.

Yesterday was just a mess of terrible eating habits, but Saturday was actually pretty darn close to an N-day: toast for breakfast, a sandwich and Pringles for lunch, pizza for dinner. We were kayaking all day and it felt really good to be outside, in the sun. One thing's for sure: I definitely broke the glass ceiling (oops). Really, though, I don't want to even think about yesterday...ugh. I think it was a lot of boredom eating and just plain bad habits taking over, habits that I am powerless against...sometimes. It's always Sunday that's out of whack for me.

Yay Monday, and yay holiday week!

[Amy3010]

It is so nice to have a clean slate every now and then, isn't it? Hope this week goes well for you!

[Jennifer24747]

Hi all! Hope everyone had a good holiday.

I've realized that it's going to be impossible to do Vanilla NoS this week because of both the holiday and the birthday. My family brought me cake for my birthday, I'm getting a Swiss Chocolate Cream Tarte at work, and of course people keep wanting to go out for dinner/drinks/come over to make s'mores/that sort of thing. So, my goal is just to keep portions small. If I go overboard this week, it'll be a failure day.

So far that's been working out pretty good for me. I haven't been going on any kind of crazy sweet binges (although Sunday was unfortunately a permasnacking kind of day), so one small dessert a day for a few days isn't going to be that terrible, especially since all of my meals are going to stay veggie-filled and healthy. Like today, for lunch--I could have taken all the leftover picnic food in my lunch, the million different salads and a hot dog or hamburger, that kind of thing. Instead I just took a leafy green salad and a small, small serving of both linguine salad and macaroni salad. Finished it off with an apple, as usual. I really wanted more afterward, but I'm at work, so there wasn't any more than what I'd brought--and you know what? I didn't die. I'm not starving. I was fine with two tablespoons of each of those salads, and there's more at home for dinner (and lunch tomorrow, and dinner tomorrow...and repeat for three days).

Today is going to be a crazy hodge-podge dinner: it's CSA day, so I'm going to get more veggies...problem is, I still have a ton leftover from last week! Ahh! I did such a good job using as many as I could creatively, too. I still have a lot, so I'm going to use up as much as I can tonight, even if it means having a few more days of lunches and stuff ready to go.

Today is so far, so good...but it's always good, until I get home!

[Jennifer24747]

I am SO ready to have a week of GREEN! This WILL be my first all-green week since starting, I just know it!

There are no N-day contraband sweets left in the house, and no work birthdays this week (there would have been, except she's on maternity leave). So...yay! Tuesday we're going out for a "family-style" dinner with friends, but it's at a great restaurant with healthy food and smaller plates. It'll be easier to "virtual plate" and pass on dessert--or just have a tiny, tiny bit of dessert. A spoonful won't count as a fail. Thing is, when we go out, we don't usually get desserts, so I'm not worried.

I have SUCH a headache today and I'm not sure why. I've been trying to cut back on coffee, so that might be part of why I have a headache...but still, I usually only have one cup a day (probably 8-10 ounces total). I had tea this morning which most definitely has caffeine! I had a little bit of a headache/neckache yesterday, so I took some Aleve, and I don't really want to take any today...but maybe I should. I don't know, I like to try not to use painkillers, but I hate headaches! I just drank a ton of water to try and see if it's dehydration, since it's been so hot. It's freeeeezing in my office, though. I think I've got some caffeine-free green tea around here somewhere.

Anyway, now I'm rambling. I have to go pick up my bridesmaid dress with my sister and my mother tonight, and I'm going to try to do it without the assitance of Jose Cuervo. Wish me luck!

[Jennifer24747]

Yesterday was green! Today will be easy too, I just know it. Nate ate the last tiny piece of my birthday cake yesterday while I was out doing the bridesmaid dress thing.

And, honestly? The dress looks pretty good on me. It makes me look super skinny, which is cool.

I still don't want to have anything to do with her stupid wedding, though.

Sigh.


YESTERDAY'S MEALS:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with blueberries, flaxseeds, and almond extract.

Lunch: Supersized salad with black beans, edamame, corn salsa, tomatoes, quinoa, and goat cheese.

Dinner: (at Bob Evans) Roasted pork loin with mashed potatoes and a side of broccoli and some banana bread. I didn't finish the mashed potatoes or the crispy onions they put on top.

[MJ7910]

sounds like you are doing great! congratulations on your successes this week

[Jennifer24747]

Thanks, MJ!

Another success today!

It's getting a lot easier to resist sweets at night. I guess the whole habit thing is starting to kick in? I guess eating less sweets is making me crave them less, too. I mean, I still think about them. It's been a lot easier for me to realize that it's a want, though, not a desperate need...which is what it used to feel like. So, yay. Progress is being made.

I guess I should mention that I'm not so concerned with that number on the scale after all. I've only weighed myself once since I've started NoS in April. Really, I'm just thrilled to get my disordered eating under control, thrilled to feel normal around food for the first time in years. Lately I've actually been leaving food on the plate, which is something I could NEVER do. I can push it away and be done.

But really, seeing myself in that bridesmaid dress yesterday...I couldn't believe it looked so nice. It felt good. It really did look awesome, too--maybe not quite Pippa Middleton level, but close! Unfortunately, I could never be as slim as Pippa or Kate...my hips are too wide! I look at their hips and I'm so jealous. I hate to admit it, but it's true. Even if I was skin and bones, I'd be nothing but hip!!

And probably boob, too.

Anyway...

Today's (Tuesday's) Meals:

Breakfast: Oatmeal with chia seeds, mango chunks, and almond extract.

Lunch: Same salad as yesterday, just add chicken!

Dinner: "Unstuffed" cabbage in the crock pot with chickpeas; a beer and later an iced tea.

Oh, by the way--I started wedding planning a little bit today, and it's intimidating...mostly because of how expensive everything is. Sigh.

[Jennifer24747]

This weekend was a little better than they've been, other than a super-big dinner at a Greek restaurant on Saturday. I guess I didn't really eat a lot on Saturday other than some pancakes I made for breakfast and some chips I finished off from the bottom of the bag. Greek food is one of my favorite things ever, especially after I traveled in Greece in 2007. We had mussels in a creamy mint-oregano sauce, saganaki (which is basically fried cheese), a salad with fresh beets and various other delicious ruffage, lamb stuffed with olives and some other stuff (and I usually hate olives, but it was good here), with a side of green beans and xorta (or sauteed spinach). I had a baklava trio for dessert--chocolate, raspberry, and classic. Oh man, it was good!

Sunday was okay, but not as good as I'd like it to be. I need to start structuring meals on Sunday. I know I say it all the time, but my Sundays are so lazy lately and it throws off my eating. I never feel like making dinner on Sunday, so we ordered pizza.

Today was pretty much perfect, or would have been if I had had a salad for lunch instead of pizza! I love salad for lunch, so this isn't a bad thing. I took my breakfast to work with me because I wasn't quite hungry for it right away--I guess I'd eaten dinner too late on Sunday. Then I didn't eat my lunch until almost 12:30 because I had a meeting with my insurance agent. Dinner wasn't until about 7:00 or 7:30, and I had my salad then. Figured I should eat something light to balance out the half a pizza I had for lunch!

I also exercised tonight! I guess looking at all this wedding stuff is making me want to really work to get in shape. I did fourteen minutes exactly--I didn't have a watch or a clock, but I moved until I was pretty sweaty and feeling tired. I did lunges, sit-ups, bicycle crunches, pushups, and some little weight moves inspired by shovelglove. Due to my lack of sledgehammer, real shovelglove isn't possible at the moment. I have these dinky four-pound weights, though, so I held them both in my hands and did some wood chopping, shoveling, churning (which actually was tough! I didn't think it would be!), some boxing, and squat-like moves that ended in extending my hands over my head.

One of these days, when I'm not feeling broke, I'll go buy a sledgehammer. Yeah, I am actually that broke right now, which sucks--thank you, Student Loans. I hate you. I don't know how you're supposed to have a house, have a car, get married, and pay off your student loans. Basically, I'll probably never have kids because I'll never be able to afford them with the amount of student loan debt I have.

Anyway, I haven't craved any sweets tonight! I've thought about them, but haven't gotten that need-it-now feeling. It's crazy how Mondays have just clicked as N-days. Mondays are so easy lately. Wednesdays are the hardest, and Fridays are hard, too, depending on whether or not there's some kind of social activity that involves Smores (a big deal at our house in the summer!).

The good news, though, is that the weekends are starting to get easier as far as sweets go. I bought a giant pack of cookies at Costco since they were on coupon, and I think I only ate two all weekend. Maybe three, but I don't remember. But there were the pancakes, the baklava, and an unfortunate incident with a spoon and a jar of Nutella.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough. Have a great night, all!

[lbb (Liz)]

Sounds like you are doing well and learning lots about yourself.
I LOVE Greek food, too. Yum. The flavors are my favorite!
Exercise, regardless of your wedding plans will keep you feeling great upstairs!
Oh, and the whole student loan thing---get ya, not for me, but my husband. Medical school...YIKES!
Hopefully it will pay off one day!
Take care and keep up introspective work!

[Jennifer24747]

Oh man, I don't even want to know what the bills for med school look like...eek!

Yesterday was a fail, both accidentally and on purpose. I went to Subway for lunch because I didn't pack one (we went out to a quick dinner because we had to drop my car off at the shop, and we were both starving!). I ordered a drink because I wanted an unsweetend iced tea, but when I got to the drink station, they didn't have any! So I got Dr. Pepper, which is the only pop I actually like. Diet is gross, and so is that fakey, syrupy lemonade and iced tea. I didn't want to take the cup bake and say I wanted a refund, because after working in the service industry for so long, I know it's annoying and can be difficult--especially since the people who run the store are Indian, and sometimes they don't seem to understand what you say. I just didn't want to be a jerk or make a confusing situation, so I just got the Dr. Pepper and dealt.

All was good until after dinner, when I caved and had a chocolate chip cookie and a tiny glass of milk.

It is what it is, so I'll mark it and move on. At least it's not a major fail, but with the Dr. Pepper, I had way more sugar than I should have!

[Jennifer24747]

Crazy weekend--Nate and his old roommates have a yearly "reunion" thing, and man. Man oh man. It's nuts. I mean, I guess I ate okay, but not well.

Yesterday was an awesome success, though. After a weekend of alcohol and totally-bad-for-you foods, I ate light, healthy, and veggie-heavy. We also went to have a consult with a wedding photographer, which took about two and a half or three hours including the drive to his studio and back home--it was a lot of fun. I think we found "the one." Haha.

Anyway, I think doing little projects for the wedding will make it a lot easier to NOT snack at night. If I'm busy with making place cards, decorations, or a pair of crazy bedazzled shoes that I've had my heart set on, well. That leaves less time to think about snacks or dessert.

I think it's crazy, though, how in the morning--like right now--I have NO desire whatsoever to eat or even think about sweets. But as the day rolls on, I think about them more and more, and by the time it's dark out, I just want to eat something sweet! Honestly, NoS has made it SO much easier to resist that, thank God, but some days are hard. I've got plenty of fails on my HabitCal, but none of them are binges. I'll have one little treat, but it still counts as a fail in my book because it's disrupting the habits. Now that Mondays have become super easy, I've really got to work on the middle-of-the-week days.

Yesterday's Meals:

Breakfast: My favorite oatmeal!

Lunch: Another garbage salad with black beans, edamame, quinoa, corn salsa, goat cheese, random edible things in my fridge, etc.

Dinner: A quick quinoa salad with roasted broccoli, eggplant, red pepper, onions, carrots, chickpeas (chickpeas weren't roasted!), and kale (wilted in with the quinoa, once that was done cooking for the most part--just chop up the kale and throw in the pot, mix together, and put on the lid for a few minutes), with an even quicker lemon-basil-garlic-olive oil dressing, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and goat cheese. Oh-so-good. Everything's better with goat cheese and/or lemon zest and juice.

Oh, hey! Hooray for a totally Meatless Monday!

[tobiasmom]

That salad sounds amazing!!

[Jennifer24747]

The salad IS good!! I've been making it for lunch a few days a week--mostly when I don't have dinner leftovers to take in the next day. I always have black beans, edamame, quinoa, goat cheese, and Trader Joe's corn salsa on hand, and my CSA always has some kind of lettuce in my box. I'll throw in some nuts and dried cranberries if I feel like it, and some tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers--any veggies I have, really! Leftover roasted veggies? They'll go right on top.

If you get enough texture and flavor from cheese, fruits, or fun salsas in there, then you don't even need dressing, which saves on calories--but you're still getting all of your healthy monounsaturated fatty acids and omega three's! (And a TON veggies!) The quinoa, beans, and edamame are a great punch of fiber and protein, too.

Same thing with the warm quinoa salad I had for dinner. The best quick dinner is throwing a bunch of veggies with a simple sauce in with some fresh cooked quinoa! I always try to make sure I have ample protein and veggies in each meal--fat's a given because I'm an olive oil/coconut oil addict. Other than this lemony-herby-garlicky goodness sauce, I've also made Asian-inspired sauces with sesame seeds, sesame oil, soy sauce, ginger, and garlic. Snow peas or snap peas, carrots, peanuts, and edamame work great in there! I bet something with mint, oregano, feta, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, and olive oil would be great for a Greek-inspired dish. The best thing about these is that they're healthy, light, and filling, and they're delicious both hot and cold.

Anyway, yesterday was another awesome success! Feeling good today.

Yesterday's Meals:

Breakfast: Berry Oatmeal; an Americano from Starbucks.

Lunch: Leftover quinoa salad from Monday's dinner; cottage cheese.

Dinner: Turkey Tacos!

[Jennifer24747]

Yesterday was my official three-month anniversary of No-S-ing. I haven't lost or gained weight yet--I keep fluctuating between the same three pounds, one up from my start weight, one down from my start weight. I've definitely changed my life though.

So far this week I've had three solid greens. No shades of gray, no questions. I barely considered eating snacks or sweets, and when I did, it was actually easy to overcome the thought.

It's crazy. I mean, some weeks are definitely harder than others, but this week has been awesome.

Until right this moment. As I write this, I'm eating a brownie. Ugh! I'm at work, and I didn't have any more berry oatmeal to eat this morning, which usually keeps me super-full til lunch. I had some cottage cheese and toast instead, and I was actually hungry enough that it was distracting. Go figure, this was a day someone brought in snacks.

Well...it's a really good brownie.

Ugh, and I was doing so good!

[Jennifer24747]

Something else I forgot that I wanted to mention/talk about.

So, twice in the last few weeks, two different girls have referred to me as "tiny." And not in that, like, you know--weird girly way that other girls have when you're standing in front of a mirror and say you're fat, and then they go, "Oh my God no! You're so tiny!" It was more of a "Hey, you can borrow my jeans" conversation that ended with raised eyebrows and a "But you're tiny." All from girls who I think are either around the same size as me, or even thinner.

It really did catch me off guard. I mean, I am, in my head, anything but tiny. I'm tall, for starters--5'9", and I LOVE to wear four- and five-inch heels, making me about 6'1" or 6'2" when I have them on. There is nothing tiny about a 6'1" girl.

And, I mean, I know my measurements. 35.5-26 (or 28?)-38. Thirty-eight-inch hips aren't small. I never remember my waist size, but now that I think about it it's probably 28. Eh, whatever. I only know these so that I can look off the diagrams when I'm ordering clothes online, which, by the way, never gives me the right size.

Like I said, I haven't actually lost weight since starting NoS, but I've felt skinnier--further proof that it's in my head. I don't know if it's due in part to actually being hungry sometimes, instead of feeling constantly full of food, or... well, I don't know what else.

But to have had two people say that I'm tiny? That's mind-blowing to me.[/i]

[Jennifer24747]

Red alert. Red alert. There's donuts in the conference room. Eek!

I failed yesterday, but I exercised for about fifteen or sixteen minutes. Worked up a GOOD sweat and got my heart pounding!

I really want to try the Insanity workout. Not because I'm falling for the infomercial, or whatever, but because it looks like FUN, and you can do it in your house.

By "failing" yesterday, I mean I had that brownie between breakfast and lunch, and then I had an ice cream sandwich after dinner. I don't know--for some reason I was just STARVING yesterday--starving for junk food. I ate three really-good-for-you meals, so I still got my veggies and protein.

YESTERDAY'S MEALS

Breakfast: Cottage cheese, an apple, a slice of toast with peanut butter and jelly.

Fail #1: A brownie.

Lunch: Leftover chicken with roasted carrots and green beans; an apple.

Dinner: Pork chop, kale, and roasted broccoli.

Fail #2: An ice cream sandwich...and a handful of chocolate chips!! Ugh!

[Jennifer24747]

I had the tamest S-days yet this weekend. Three meals both days--or, actually, only two on Saturday, now that I think about it. I woke up suuuper late--at like, noon--which I hate. I love waking up early, so when I miss the morning, I get bummed. I made eggs and hash browns for lunch, and then we didn't eat again until we went out for dinner. We also had a friend's 30th birthday celebration, so there was a little too much alcohol, but I guess now that I think about it, I only had three drinks: a glass of wine at dinner, a gin and tonic, and a Long Island. Yeah, I guess you can count the Long Island as like three drinks, but it wasn't very strong. Typically a Long Island is my go-to drink: it only takes one and then I don't need anything else. And they taste so stinking good. I can't believe that much liquor together tastes that way.

Sunday, I made waffles for breakfast but only ate half of mine. I went and got Subway for us to eat around 3:00; I ate half and saved the rest for my lunch today. I went to my mom's for dinner around 8:00 or so and had a small plate of turkey, halushki, scalloped potatoes, and an ear of corn.

So...yeah! I feel like I actually had some controlled eating this weekend! Instead of one all-day eating session, I actually had meals. There was definitely some cookies and an ice cream sandwich thrown in there somewhere, but nothing overboard. All controlled portions. Yay!

[Jennifer24747]

My scale and I are fighting.

Yesterday morning, I weighed myself practically naked--the scale said 165. I didn't really stress out about it to much since I'd weighed myself over the weekend and I was 157.

Yesterday night, I weighed myself with clothes on, and it said 160.

This morning, I weighed myself with not so many clothes on, but not naked, and it said 158.

He needs to make up his mind.

Anyway, Monday was a fail thanks to some chocolate chips (grr), and yesterday was a success. It almost wasn't, though! But I pushed through.

Watching the Olympics makes me want to get super fit, by the way!

[Jennifer24747]

This morning's weight: 158.0 on the nose.

This is the week I'm going to average out my weight, I think...if I remember to do it. It's going to be about 159 avg. though, I can already tell.

Makes me sad. I miss the 147lbs I used to be, back when I was slinging boxes at Costco all morning. I had the arms of an Olympic athelete back then.

Yesterday's meals:

Breakfast: Cottage cheese, an apple, cinnamon.

Lunch: leftover quinoa salad with chickpeas, carrots, broccoli, feta, fresh mint, fennel, lemon-olive oil dressing, and I don't know what else. It was deeeelish though.

Dinner: Spinach and arugula salad with chicken, roasted beets, roasted garlic scapes, marinated artichoke hearts, red onion, quinoa, goat cheese, cucumber, and homemade red wine/honey dijon dressing. That's on the menu for lunch today, too.

Failure: an ice cream sandwich. D'oh!

[Jennifer24747]

Last week was just such a disaster, and I'm not sure why. I had a small dessert almost every day except for maybe Monday and Wednesday--maybe it wasn't even two days! I don't remember. Ironically, the weekend wasn't so bad. We went on a canoe trip on Saturday, and I followed N-day structure pretty well--I had a few macaroons but that was it. Three meals and lots of exercise otherwise. Sunday, we went out for lunch with out canoe group and split steamed mussels and some fried mushrooms, plus I had a pulled pork sandwich and some homemade potato chips. Only ate half the sandwich and tried to keep out of the chips. At home, I had an ice cream sandwich and some chips, but that was all I ate yesterday. I wasn't very hungry all day, surprisingly.

Anyway, I'm ready to start fresh this week. We're starting ballroom dance lessons on Thursday, so I'm super excited!

I'm also really excited for lunch today. It's the leftovers from the Mexican food we had for dinner on Saturday--lots of peppers and onions, scallops and shrimp, a little rice and refried beans...and I packed some sweet potato tortilla chips. Only three more hours!! Haha.

[Amy3010]

I love that excited feeling about yummy leftovers for lunch... Hope your week goes better than last and enjoy the dancing!

[Jennifer24747]

Hey all, it's been awhile since I've posted here.

I haven't gone off the deep end or quit NoS--actually, it was easier for me when I wasn't writing every day. I can't say I stuck to it entirely; some days I had a dessert after dinner, some I didn't. Not all sweet desserts, either--I've been munching on frozen fruit some of the time, and once I made popcorn to split with my guy while we watched a movie.

No snacking, no seconds, as usual. Just the sugar that gets me. It didn't help that there was AWESOME cake at my sister's wedding shower and I took a bunch home with me.

Today I'm going to try out a new gym. There's one right behing the building where I work--I can walk to it if I want--and they have spinning classes at good times. I really, really miss the gym now. I feel like I've been sitting way too much; I need to get moving. I love spinning and lifting and rowing, all of which are things I can't do at home. What I don't like is when I have to sit in traffic after work to get to the gym, because I get frustrated and lose all motivation to work out. So this seems like a good place to check out, because there will be NO EXCUSES to not go when it's so close!

I also read something lately that's kept me thinking: how do you stay motivated when you want to do ANYTHING but go to the gym? Answer? Fake it 'til you make it. Pretend like you want to go. Try to stay positive. Do something that day that you really WANT to do, not something that you feel like you HAVE to do. Like, if it's a lifting day but you don't want to lift? Make it a cardio day instead. It won't kill you. I'm going to try that.

I've been trying to work out at home, but it's hard for me to do that. It doesn't feel the same, using stupid little girly weights or even a sledgehammer. At the gym, I usually start out deadlifting 90lbs. and benching 55lbs. 5-lb Barbie weights and a 20-lb sledgehammer don't feel the same.

I've been doing some Urban Rangering around my neighborhood, too. I live in Pittsburgh, which is super hilly--but I live in a neighborhood that follows the ridgeline of one of the mountains, so it's REALLY hilly there. It made my shins hurt the first couple days after I started. Which, unfortunately, is also why I have trouble running: my knees, shins, and hips don't take much prodding before they start to hurt. It sucks because I've always WANTED to run, but can't seem to do it without pain. I guess that's why I've enjoyed spinning and rowing so much.

I figure I can gym it Mon-Fri and maybe do long walks on Saturdays until it gets cold again.

I'm not going to lie, though. I'm going to try running again. I could probably fit the Couch-to-5k program in during my lunch break, even--that is, if I decide to spring for the gym membership.

You can freeze the membership three months a year, which I'll do if it gets too expensive.

I can't wait to get moving again! I feel like now that I have NoS strongly under my belt, exercising will be more effective than it ever has been before!