Deb's Check-in

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Hickory hand hoser and Carleyho!!!

Hugs to you both!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!
Once I'm done with this strep throat, I'm going to go full throttle in my weekly promotions at my office...
That seems the best thing to do... And if I have to work at some weird job for two or three days a week, without lots of hassles and grief, hmmmm maybe the carwash is hiring! LOL...
I'll be cool!

Fortunately in the middle of the Summer I have some nice tax money coming back to me and I'll be able to pay off most of my credit card debt which has been draining me on a monthly basis.. That will be awesome!!!
Aaaaaannnnnnd,,,,,,,,,,
I'm going to buy and amp and pickup for my guitar and start getting gigs at places!
Reinhard thought I sounded like I should be on American Idol! LOL!!!

I'm determined to have a great year!
I'm happy my NoS is kicking in on an unconscious level so well these days!
A few months back I was despairing, but I feel rock steady now!
Amazing!!!

So enjoy the weekend all!
Have lots of yummy S's!
Deb

[This path is my life]

It sounds like your summer is looking bright and that's great that your no-s habits are seeming more automatic. Way to go Deb! By the way I'd love to hear a clip of your saying/playing or both. Is there anywhere I can find one, or could you email me one? That would be great. Good luck with that too. Have a great day!

[gratefuldeb67]

Hey Jenn! Thanks! I hope we all have a rocking Summer!
I don't yet have any kind of clips online, but when I get an internet connection at home again sometime in the coming months, I can send you a clip of me singing which I recorded onto my computer.. but you would have to have an Ogg Vorbis program to play it...
And I could send you the mp3 of me with my friends band from a year ago... That's the one I sent to some people here, including Rein..
I had fun practicing last night and taping the songs.. I'm getting prepared to hit the stage! LOL..

I figure I need to practice at least one to two hours a day regularly to get my hands and songs in shape... Most gigs I'd be trying to get would be 2 or 3 hours of music..

Have a great day!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

What a time you have been having lately!!! You must be made of rubber the way you keep bouncing back from unexpected bumps in the road. You are one strong woman. That job sounded like a dead end. The money is good in a steady job but there has to be more than that or it colors the rest of your life too. We spend a third of our lives sleeping, a third working and a third living. Having that working third be miserable is not doable. You will find your niche. And when you do, it will be great.

Your diet is going swimmingly by all accounts so life is still good.

Now, you just need to get well and stay that way. When your antibiotics are gone, dose up on yogurt, (the good kind with lots of probiotics) and cottage cheese, if you like it. That was the best advise my doctor ever gave me. He said many years ago that when you are done with a batch of antibiotics, you are defenseless. Your bad bugs and good bugs are both dead. By eating lots of yogurt and cottage cheese, you replace the good bacteria really fast and lower the risk of getting sick again. It works.

Stay well Deb and keep us updated on your adventures. My boring 9-5 life sounds so drab compared to your life.

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Sue!
Being broke isn't always so exciting so don't envy my rubber bouncing ball existance quite yet! LOL...

Thanks for your yogurt advice~
I will do that for sure!
I like making cold blended carrot soup with buttermilk and yogurt, and also I love Greek cucumber and yogurt dressing!

I just wrote you on your thread and you are probably reading that now!
LOL..
I'll keep you posted on the work front..
Fortunately today I hooked up with one of my clients who bought a small package of massages from me...
Also I applied for a job I saw online for a massage job at another local gym...
Let's see what happens

I miss my son tonight as he is in Amish country with my Mom for the weekend!
This is the first time I've been Richard-less for quite some time!
They called to tell me that they are bringing me back chocolate and pretzles!
Yay

Have a nice night!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Guys

Can you believe this?? I was supposed to have my period on Thursday and it still hasn't arrived...
Yet I am stuck with all the tension, bloating and crabbiness of pms, only now it's for five extra days!
Woo hoo!!! What a party

Anyway... I'm going to try for another 21 days on habit goal, and this time my personal goal is also to include walking for at minimum 20 minutes and 14 minutes of Yoga and SG combined..
As I wrote to Want to Be Healthy, I am also going to make much more low cal choices for meals in the upcoming days... If I want to have hamburger helper or chili or pizza or whatever, I will limit it to only once or twice a week... I'm also going to watch how much dairy products I take in, at least fattening ones like hard cheese and butter...

Wish me luck!!!
I'm starting today...
I'll post my success the following day...
And it is apparent that if I don't exercise, I don't lose weight or inches, so success is also contingent on my exercise goals being accomplished...
I'm going to experiment with walking in the early evening with Richard to see how that goes... I'm sure it will be great and then I can treat myself to a relaxing shower after and wind down for the evening with some tea or something...
I'll do my 14 minutes of Yoga and SG in the am when he is at school....
I don't have a comp hooked up at home but I'll be keeping a written journal and then posting here when I can... I'll make a new thread for it so I can keep it uncluttered with extraneous life drama stuff (I have loads of that!!
See you later guys!
Have a lovely week
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Today has been good...
We had some scrambled eggs for breakfast, chinese food for lunch, but no seconds and no soup (and now I have dinner as a result!)
The only little "Sick day S" I've allowed was a glass of blender smoothies I made from concentrated orange juice and some bacardi pina colada mix and ice... I would say that was about equivallent to having a large glass of soda, but there was some orange juice involved! LOL....

Richard is feeling much better and will be back in school tomorrow...
I am feeling like I rode on the Coney Island Cyclone too many times and getting very queasy waiting around for my period to arrive already (five days late... grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Seriously, I feel like someone drove over my head with a steamroller...

I'm really happy I didn't cave in and eat seconds on Chinese food!
That is usually a given in my old habit ways!
Please please please!!!
Weather get nice!! It's been coolish and cloudy and not at all walk inducing...
Another nice update is I've successfully gotten Richie to try out my tuna salad... He liked it and now I have another good food choice in my arsenal for making in advance, that I know we both like...
I mean, pasta, eggs and grilled cheese gets a bit repetitive!
That was a nice relief!
I hate having to cook two different meals for us when I eat something he doesn't want... This makes things much easier!

Now I need to figure out how to get him to try eating some lettuce, cucumber and tomato!!!

Have a nice evening all
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

For those of you following my neurotic miserable week...

Finally,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
My period came!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean it was 8 days late....

Here's to a few weeks of sanity to enjoy now!!!!!!

Have a great weekend all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

I don't think I ever congratulated anyone for getting their period before!!
Whatever floats your boat though. LOL. The amount of food I used to put away when I was PMSing was incredible!! I'd be thinking about what I would snack on next, while I was snacking something else. Awesome power of hormones!!! My heart goes out but you survived. Have you ever tried natural hormone creams like yam creams? They definitely smooth out the bumps in the road. I am menopausal and I love what they are doing for the mood swings etc. My daughter, like me, has a lot of PMS stress and cramps etc. The creams seem to help her too. Just a thought. Enjoy your 2 weeks of relative bliss. Spring is here and it has to get warmer soon.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Sue!!!!
I know.. That seems weird to say "happy period!"
but really I'm just happy to have the switch from pms flipped to "off" again...
It's truly a "switchlike" effect...
I totally forgot about the progesterone from yams..
I read about that years ago when I was using birth control...
Cool that you mention it..
I never tried that, but we shall see.. Maybe I will... I can always try it and see if it does... I am very very hypersensitive to hormones and foreign chemicals etc... It's part of my being bipolar.

I'm gonna just try using the dong quai for now, my usual St. Johns and see if simply meditating and getting back to balance with exercise will help..
My guess is that it will have a big impact...
Hope you have had an enjoyable Mothers day!

Richard and I spent the morning in watching videos and having a late S day treat for breakfast..
Fresh baked raspberry turnovers!
Yum!!!

Well see you later alligator!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Wow!!! It is just pouring out! What ever happened to *April* showers.. Aren't we supposed to be having *May* Flowers?????

Yeesh!!!

Anyway...

Yesterday I totally avoided an urge to have a mid day sweet, and chose a bagel and cream cheese with tea and almond milk as a late lunch instead!
Richard and I went to Premik's house for a great sax lesson, but it's around tea time and I was very close to justifying a muffin or some kind of bakery goods in honor of the lesson... But I didn't!!!!

Yay!!!!!!!

The whole day was great, but no exercise, which is annoying me...
I'm writing from my Mothers house now, but when I get home I will do something for 14 minutes.. Most likely Yoga!

So since yesterday was good I'm going to use it as my
Day three of Success! (Since Sat and Sunday count! LOL...)

I am going nuts again pushing to find employment and pushing my office..
I'll report back sometime soon, but the fact that I still don't have a home computer setup makes it hard to really post as much as I'd like
My weight is still slightly up as my period is not quite done and I've been eating semi salty foods, like a hot dog for dinner last night, and some ceasar salad dressing... I'm definitely retaining a little extra water as a result.. I think my weight is about 207 now... I'll weigh again Saturday or something... Wow, do I really want to get below 200 within the next month!!!
Please send me all your good vibes friends!!!
Have a great week all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi all!
I just wanted to share a little update in my wacky life...

I just came back from great interview for a part time marketing job..
The office is directly around the corner from my massage office and the two agents who I'd be scheduling appointments for are the nicest guys...
It's a totally flexible situation and just enough hours to keep me from total poverty, yet not so many that it would interfere with me building up my massage business...
I was hired on the spot!
It felt like a really good match and I won't be working for commissions, just a nice steady hourly salary... Hopefully there will be commissions as I get them clients though, as well Icing on the cake..
Meanwhile, I have my foot in the door of an office which might generate some massage clients to my office too, since it's literally 1/3 of a block from my office door! There's around 50 different companies in that same building, so it should be great for getting new clients!

Strangely enough, some of you might remember a similar story I mentioned about five months ago, and it's actually the same office building and the same company... But the guy I interviewed with last time was a very weird character and these guys are totally separate from him and were very nice, and down to earth, but not slobs...
They also said that if I get a private client and had to work a partial shift or change my hours that week to accomodate it, it would be totally fine with them!!!
I am so relieved!

I start Monday
(and won't even be working with X-Rays! )

Thanks for letting me share!
Here's to better days ahead
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

Congratulations. The new job sounds great. I am very happy for you. And it also allows you follow your own path with the massage. What a great opportunity! May it be all you are hoping for.

I use St. John's Wort too. It is a God send. I never tried Don quai. What is that for?
Gotta go for now. Really tired of computers for today.
Have a great night and again congratulations on the new job.

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Sue

Dong Quai is supposedly good for regulating hormones and blood...
So my friend from the vitamin store gave it to me when I had that irregular week and wasn't getting my period...

And yes, St. John's is definitely a Godsend...
It wasn't enough, on it's own, to pull me out of my first major depression (which lasted about 15 weeks...) but it does make it easier to maintain a more even keel when I'm only mildly depressed...

Which isn't today, because I feel
Great!!!

Have a nice evening!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[Hunter Gatherer]

Congratulations on the new job!

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks a lot Hunter!!! It is such a relief!

Well, I almost wasn't going to post, but I have a big mess up to confess..
Yesterday was a total slide back into habits from pre NoS...
Yuch!!!!!!!

My body isn't thanking me now...

I think it was just due to bad meal planning and shopping for stuff when I was already pretty hungry...
I feel really sad about it and I do feel that I must have been indirectly expressing some kind of "rebellion"...

But this is part of a total picture...
The past two months or maybe even more like four, have been almost devoid of exercise and full of stress... I mean, I got strep throat, I had a week where my period didn't even come, and I have been struggling to make ends meet from day to day... I guess it all built up a bit...
I have to also say, and this is just to get it off my chest and be open with the forum, that I feel I have offered a lot of support over the years to this group, in my own strange way, and when I recently posted that I wanted to do a little experiment to see how much food was actually on my plate, I felt like I didn't really get a positive response... So that annoyed me...
I mean I wasn't talking about going off NoS, but I am definitely feeling pretty frustrated that I am really not losing that much weight these days... Well, I guess I just wanted people to say an unadulterated "Good Luck"...
I mean I wasn't saying that I was going to start Atkins or South Beach! LOL... Okay... Now I said it.. I feel better...

It will be very nice when I have an outside job to go to for those four shifts a week, to take me out of my home and my loneliness and my overactive mind and underactive body...

Thank God for the glorious weather here today!!!
Finally!!!!!
It seems like it's about 75 degrees and no clouds in sight!!!

I need that too!

Anyway...
Back to the grind today...
I'm just going to stick to the normal rules and after I get through with a massage I am going to do now, in about half an hour, I will most probably go for a really nice walk!

Have a nice day all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[peetie]

Oh, Deb, let me wish you "good luck" in your NoS tweaking. Hope it isn't too late! I know that everyone was just concerned about you and supporting you in the way they thought best....to make sure you didn't take a wrong turn, since that was what they were worried about.

But you know what they say about good intentions! Hope you can see that you are very much loved and supported on this board and how appreciated you are. And support comes in many different ways...unfotunately, sometimes not in the way we may think we need at the moment!

Bottom line, I know I speak for everyone here (presumptuous little cuss, am I!), when I say whatever works for you is what will make us happy. And only you can figure out what that is.

Love,
Peetie

[Hunter Gatherer]

peetie's right. Whatever works best for you! I hope I didn't bring you down, I was trying to be supportive . Sorry if I didn't end up sounding that way.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Peetie and Hunter, and of course not Hunter!!!!!

Peetie, you hit the nail on the head when you wrote about

And support comes in many different ways...unfotunately, sometimes not in the way we may think we need at the moment!

Yeah... That really sums it up...

I simply wanted people to say "Good luck"...
And there weren't too many replies either which I guess made me feel semi blech...I'm sure I've given advice to many people when all they really wanted was to post and have a place to express themselves, and maybe they didn't want any advice or warnings, even from our leader! LOL...

Well anyway.. as I said, I've been a little depressed for the past few months, so that always alters how I view the world around me!
I'm sure I was just feeling needy and insecure...

Anyway! It's not too late so thanks for writing me now!
I am actually just going to try very hard to focus on starting my exercise ball rolling.. That has more of an impact on my sanity and health than anything else!

I've actually done all the measuring I really need for now, in those few days... I can tell the difference between three and two cups of pasta, and how much sauce etc. is... Now I'll add those skills to "Vanilla NoS" as Reinhard said, and all should go very smoothly!

I did a massage today and my client and I were discussing weight..
She estimated that I was 150 lbs... I almost kissed her!!!
That's actually my long term ultimate weight goal...
But it's off by 57 lbs!

Wow but that comment made my day! LOL...

I'm sure all will truly improve as I start working more, and exercising again!

And thank God the Sun is around again!!!!!!

I'm not going to try for 21 days, but I am definitely going to just stick to the three S's and do my best!~

Peace and Love,
Deb

[flsunshine]

Hey Deb,

Wish I could just bottle this sunshine up for you and send it your way. I could never live where I didn't get a daily dose - I would go into serious hibernation mode.

Hopefully, the weather will stay nice for a nice long walk and a good mood lift.

You are such a great motivator on this forum, I can't bear the thought of YOU being discouraged. Yikes.

Sending you best thoughts along with an "unadulterated good luck"!!

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks a lot Flunshine !!!
Yeah!!!

Have a great day!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hey Friends
Hope you all have a nice weekend!
I had a very good day... Thought I'd try something different for a change, and eat some protein for breakfast...
Surprisingly, this seems to have helped my day overall.. Usually I have to force myself to have some cereal and then it just fades away (though I am definitely going to buy Raisin Bran this week, and I love that!!) and then by dinner I am a hungry crazed lunatic!
I just reversed what I would have had for lunch and breakfast..
Worked great, even though I did a massage which took some energy, I wasn't insanely hungry for lunch because the breakfast was pretty solid..

I ate cereal for lunch along with a small peach (Yay Carolejo, my Mom must have bought them in France! LOL) and dinner was moderate..
I made chicken cacciatore and had it over brown rice, and another peach..

I may have a additional fruit later, if I feel hungry, but I will first attempt to just drink a lot of water...

So, I saw an old boyfriend today, who still expressed much interest in seeing me, and it seemed pretty nice!
That helped the day too
I forgot to post that last night I started meditation and Yoga again...
Wow that was great!!!
I was chanting and alligning my chakras and all that groovy good stuff!
I even got to hum a tune with the Universe!
Rock on!!!

Well here's to better days!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Friends
I just wanted to wish you all a good week here! I am going to take a little posting vacation for a while... Not sure how long, but you know me, I can't live too long without writing here, so I don't imagine it will be very long... But I've got some Soul searching to do, and I don't want to get distracted too much... Since checking email and NoS requires that I go to my Moms house or the library, I just want to simplify this week and cut down on the need to drive around... I'll be focusing on exercise and meditation and releasing toxins...

I'll be going to Larry and Yoga tomorrow for the first time in ages, so that's very exciting! I'm also going to give the lemonade cleanse another whirl this week...
The new job starts Monday and I'm also really looking forward to that!
So far it seems like it will be a no brainer, so that's good!
Today I tried to multiply 5 x 3 and I came up with 18!
I think that's a sign of mental overload! LOL...

Again, I wish you all a great week and I will pick up again sometime in the near future!
You are all in my thoughts!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Guys!
Here I am again! LOL!
See how long it took before I missed writing!
24 hours! LOL...

Actually, I had a few very good days!
Sunday I fasted all day, but then had dinner...
The lemonade cleanse is really good for just clearing out toxins, even if it's not for the full run of days, and there was no way I could stick with it for a long time because I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!
I had a grrrrrrrrrrrrrreat Yoga class with my beloved Guruji Larry Sunday morning and felt wonderful during and after!

Today I had my first day at that job, but the guy told me that it would be a trial run for the week before they decided if I was right for them..
Oh well, that's fine.. At least they were up front about it, unlike that dumbass doctor!

All I can say about that is I'll do my best and que sera sera~
Right????

Today I had a great moment when Richard and I got Wendys for dinner..
I actually caved and ordered a Frosty, but once we sat down to eat, I ended up throwing out 90 percent of it.... Just had a few sips and spoonfuls and then said "Nope, it's not an S day and it's not worth it!!!"

This Rocking moment was brought to you by the proud members of the NoS Alliance!!!!
Ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope all of you are well!
Got a surprise call from Dru which also made my day!

Have a great evening yalls!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

Hi Deb,
I haven't been posting lately because I have been working so many hours that the last thing my aching shoulders and neck need are more time at a computer.
Sounds like you are going through some, as you put it, soul searching. That can be very helpful to sort things out especially if you have had some chaos in your life lately. Sometimes we go for long periods of time just being able to survive and get from day to day. You have been doing that the last couple of monthes. During times of stress that is a necessary process but when it passes, we all need time to regroup and decide what we "choose" to do next. That can be a wonderful time of growth and peace. You are wise to know you want that for yourself. A very self affirming decision, I think. I wish all the best for you. Good luck and enjoy that raisin bran. (I'm glad someone likes it, yuck!)

As I said, I won't be posting except for my new 21 day post because of schedule constraints but my best wishes are with you. Actually, after our new person starts on the Tuesday after memorial day and we spend the month or so working with him in training, I think I will be doing a little review of my life and priorities as well. Too much stress and too little fun for several monthes now.

[gratefuldeb67]

Yeah Sue!!! Have fun!!!!!

Thanks for writing!

Well I wanted to update that since I did an about face with my NoS habits, had a moderate S weekend, and not a wild one, just a few servings of Haagen Daaz, and also started Yoga, and had that one day of lemon cleanse, I am down 3 lbs and a full inch off my waist!!!!
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I assume it's mostly because of the Yoga as my behind is sore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My hams and glutes were stretching and strengthening big time!
(Any volunteers want to help me with a massage??? LOL...)

Anyways! I think I'm going to start doing this cleanse thing one day a week, maybe after an indulgent or salty food day, to keep myself from going up and down and up and down with water weight, and because it's fun, and I felt very enlightened by it...
Actually when we ate Wendys yesterday, I felt like my stomach had a brick in it afterwards... I much prefer the non weighted down feeling...
Since I'll be doing the cleanse on either Saturday or Sunday (probably Sundays) it's even NoS approved because maple syrup is allowed on S days...
Cool!!!!

I'm very happy that I'm not feeling huge and bloated, and now I'm only five and a half pounds away from being an even 200 lbs...
I am definitely going to reach my goal this year of losing 20 or 30 lbs over the Summer!
Woot woot!!!

I am *NOT* going to take a break from Yoga like I did before...
It's too great a workout to let just go, and I'm realizing now that as in the past, I just don't lose weight or inches, unless I'm keeping up regular exercise... But when I do, it's like night and day!!! And I am so perked up from all this that it's one big "happy cycle"

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a nice day friends!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Oh, ps... I wanted to also mention that it seems that my coffee craving was much reduced after doing that one day of lemonade cleansing...
Very very cool...
If I can have two cups of coffee a day and not three or four, that will really be much better for my health and weight loss!
I felt more like drinking water all day yesterday than my usual "pick me up" at 3 with coffee...
Rocking!!!!

See you later!
Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

Hurray for you!! I am sooooo jealous of the weight loss. Awesome. Actually, I am so happy for you. Whatever you are doing it is starting weight loss again and that means it works for you. 200 is in your future.

[gratefuldeb67]

I am just going to go totally insane when I see 199! LOL....

Thanks Sue!
I am jealous of, I mean happy for me too!
LOL....

I'll just have to bottle this good feeling for when I need it!
It's so rare!!!
Rock on Pangel lady!!!

Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

So this week has been great!!!!
All I can say is it's been a long time in the making...
Today I had a terrific surprise too!
Actually, let me backtrack...

I got my tax return money a few days ago... Well most of it.. State tax is still yet to come...

Anyway.. I've been waiting for months now and saying that I will use some of it to join the gym I used to work at, so I can attend Yoga classes regularly, not just once a week...
Usually the gym charges about 800 for a year... But today when I called, the manager told me that he will be starting a Summer special and that for one thousand I can get two years membership...
I consider that a very reasonable amount to pay, considering I will be in there at least three to four times a week...

I was really happy I got that break!!!
Whew!!!!

So I'm going to Yoga at 12 tomorrow, and then going to my part time job, which is working out great!!
Turns out the guy I'm working for reassured me that I have a great voice for this work and that the "trial period" spiel he gave me on the first day, was just something they tell everyone who starts with them.. it wasn't directly meant to make me feel insecure or unsure of my status...
Some technicality... He is really nice and teaching me a lot and is patient!
As I left today, I struck up a conversation about music and told him that I sing and play guitar, and all about Richard playing sax..
So, it turns out that he was a music major in college too!!! LOL!!!
Played cello...
I seem to always find my way to musical people!
Like attracts like

Anyway.. today NoS has been excellent.. I may be going out tonight to a jam, or seeing this "guy" (hee hee) but it won't be an excuse for any S
(at least none that contains sugar!)
I am thrilled that my regular Yoga is resuming tomorrow and now I can go to five classes a week, if I wanted!!!!!
Hope you are all well and having fun!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[Hunter Gatherer]

Hi Deb! Just a quick note to say "Go you!" I'm glad things are going well for you, and I hope the trend keeps up.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks so much Hunter!
From your lips to Gods ears!

I just got back from a blues jam...
Sang a shuffle in A! LOL...
Had fun, though the only trend that isn't going to really take off is that guy I was starting to see...
Oh well!
Tough luck for him!
(she says while secretly bemoaning her lack of a romantic life )

Anyway... I am really happy too!
So thanks again!

Hope you are having a nice week!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[carolejo]

Hey Deb! FANTASTIC news generally. Never mind the guy, he obviously doesn't know a good thing when he sees one, so you're better off out of it!

Glad the job is going so well and that the gym membership is good too. Now you'll see Guruji Larry lots more times a week again, which is always good for your stability and inner balance.

I'm so pleased to hear all your good news, and so glad that things are finally settling down for you at last - it's been a bit of a wild ride, huh?

Speak soon maybe. love C. xxx

[gratefuldeb67]

I'm so pleased to hear all your good news, and so glad that things are finally settling down for you at last - it's been a bit of a wild ride, huh?

LOL! Wild is fairly euphemistic in this context! LOL...
I wish I could use a more colorful metaphor, but this is a G rated site!

Thanks CJ!!!

Speak soon maybe. love C. xxx

Would love that!!!
I'll email you my new home phone number when it's up and running...
Peace and Love,
Deb

[sanity]

Is it a G rated site? I guess that's sanest, but I don't remember any kind of disclaimer/warning/agreement...

[gratefuldeb67]

Well meet me off list and I'll cuss up a storm, but not here
And no there's no disclaimer! LOL..

See ya Sanity!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

It is sooo good to hear all your good news. Exercise, music and like minded people. Life just doesn't get any better than that. Well, a little X rated stuff wouldn't hurt but I'm sure that will be in your future as well if you choose it. I'm happy for you, Deb and hope the wave just goes on and on. Best of luck.

[sanity]

Hehe, not really necessary. Final Fantasy games always seem to be pretty G-rated, and yet manage to create just about every emotion you can imagine. That said, it's much easier to just drop a word for shock value than it is to create true shock -- let your audience come to terms with a world you've created, then shift it out from under them.

[gratefuldeb67]

Life just doesn't get any better than that. Well, a little X rated stuff wouldn't hurt but I'm sure that will be in your future as well if you choose it. I'm happy for you, Deb and hope the wave just goes on and on. Best of luck.

Dear God,
Please let Sues word be done!
LOL....
And while you're at it.. Please make it triple X!

Thanks Sue and Sanity!

Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hey friends!

Today was a very good day so far, and I even got in a (albeit very very lazilly paced) walk in with Richard this morning....
We watched the local memorial day parade and all the community groups marching and all the firetrucks etc... Got some much much much needed sun!!!!!!!!
It's fun to walk so I'm definitely keeping this up! I am very out of shape so I'm not putting any pressure on me to walk fast or anything... Just want to get out there every day for at least 20-30 minutes of constant motion...
Yesterday I had a huge dinner with Richard at a diner... Man I can't believe that I just feel totally like busting after a hamburger deluxe platter...
That is a lot of food! In the future, I plan on splitting diner sized platters with Richard like that... I just didn't like that feeling of being stuffed to the gills!!! Barf!!!! LOL...
It really puts things into perspective for me, as my old self would have that and not flinch...
And then I'd also finish Richards leftovers...
As for S's this weekend, we had a great dessert which I highly recommend as S worthy...
Haagen Daaz brownie bars!!!!
Really worth the calories and they are generous single servings, as opposed to getting a pint of ice cream or making an entire tray of brownies and then dealing with the leftovers... There's four in a box.. Perfect for two people over two S days... (Or you *could* save one for the following week if you have a will of steel!!! )

Have a nice rest of the day folks!
Peace and Love,

Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Well it's official.. I am definitely in a minor depression...
I've been waking up feeling very fearful, having weird dreams and doing things like late night eating again.. Last night it was stale cold greasy popcorn... I'm pretty worried now that my old habits are getting a dangerous foothold...I talked to my friend who supplies the st. johns wort to me to see if the company might have changed their formula.. He called them, but they said it's the same.. (they changed the packaging and went from capsules to tabs..) I'm not sure if this is making it harder to absorb.. It's quite feasable that it is...

This is the wonderful world of being bipolar.. I'm pretty sure that the minor flirtation with that guy I liked, which didn't work out, just unbalanced my "scales"... For all intensive purposes, other than that, my current reality is pretty good: ie, I have a new job which I'm actually enjoying, I am not sick, I finally got enough money to get my dsl and some other really great things, like my guitar amp, and the membership to the gym... Technically, I should be very content these days..
I guess I'll just have to ride it out, but I really wish I was feeling better..
I also guess that there's a lot of fear involved in moving ones life forward..
I am just going to accept where I am now, as I know that this will bring me more peace than, waiting for the feeling to end.. That just turns into a big mind game for me and I get more panicked when I try to "control" it...

Okay... My friend just called me back and said he still has other brands of St. Johns in capsule form, so I'm gonna return the tabs and get caps and immediately take like 6 of them... I hope it works... I think it will..
I am sooo hypersensitive to chemical changes...
I'm going there now, since he opens the store in a little while.

Hey here's some nice news though.. I walked a little last night.. Richard had an open house at school, so we walked together.. Boy it was really nice around 8pm to stroll.. The air was so refreshing!
I'm definitely becoming a walking fan!

See you all later friends!
Have a great day!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[carolejo]

*hugs*

I think I can see what you mean about the fear involved in moving one's life forward. Sometimes its as if I can't allow myself to enjoy my current reality fully because I'm worried that it won't last or something - which is just stupid!!!

On funky-ass dreams - my subconsious has always been a bit topsy-turvy with that one. I have always suffered from night terrors for as long as I can remember, waking up in a cold sweat, sometimes calling out or screaming about once every couple of weeks on average. However, the BETTER my waking life is going, the WORSE things are in my dreams, and the more frequently the nightmares come! Perhaps its my brain saying to me "whoa now. Don't go getting ideas above your station. It can still go completely wrong, you know! Let's apply some balance to this, shall we?" Perhaps there's something similar going on for you?

don't forget to meditate and focus. It will be OK. I'm sure of it.
C.

[gratefuldeb67]

Many thanks mate!!!!!!
xo!!!

That's very unusual about the better your life becomes the worse the nightmares are.. Wow!
Makes you want to have a bad day!

Sorry!!!!

Well, I got the new St. John's and my head feels less cloudy, but not totally great yet.. But better.. I can feel a difference!
I just went to the gym to go on the elliptical trainer, since I can't catch the Yoga class today because I'm working this afternoon...

I had two interesting experiences...
1. I weighed myself after many months of total inactivity... I left that club in November, and it appears that I'm down two pounds on the doctors scale they have there which is pretty accurate..
I was very glad I didn't gain, as this week I've had some failure days...
But I also think that, ironically, since I'm not exercising even half as much as I did, that I've lost much of my muscle tone.. Hence loss of weight..
Whatever... It's wayyyy better than stepping on that thing and seeing the expected gain.. I was happy about it!!! Maintenence really does rock sometimes, but losing a surprise few extra rocks harder!!!

I'm officially now 204!!!
My lowest weight since I started NoS!
This time last year I weighed in at 213.

2. Then some loudmouthed rude woman with absolutely no class at all, after welcoming me back to the club, had the nerve to tell me that I looked like I gained weight!!!!



Boy did I want to kick her ass!!!!!
But I just said, "No, I didn't" and then told her that she looked like she lost weight... Then she told me that she gained weight.. I really think there is something to this whole "projection" thing...
But that did kind of piss me off.. Well I just won't engage in conversation with her and tune it out..
Tomorrow I have Yoga to look forward to!!!
I'm in the middle of eating my lunch, but so far it's been a success..
I discovered a very very delicious, albeit a bit pricey, treat..
Bleu Cheese stuffed green olives!!!
Yummy!!!!

Thanks again for the hugs CJ!!!
You da best!!!
Have a nice day!
Love,
Deb

[cvmom]

Hey Debster!!!!!

I think we are all on a downward trend in the No S classroom of life. I too, got on the scale thinking I'd gained and Nope, I was the same. I am approximately 10 pounds less then last year. Reinhard is right, it is a slow process, but so worth it. I don't ever want to tip the scale upwards again. You should be very happy at your number and just remember that if you stick to the rules then it works.

That woman at the gym sounds downright rude. I would never tell anyone that they looked like they'd gained weight. I made the mistake once of asking someone when she was due (she looked sooooo pregnant) and she told me she wasn't pregnant. Boy, did I feel crappy. Now, if I see an acquaintence who looks like she's bursting with child I will hold my tongue. But, yes, it sounds like the old psychological projection was at work there.

Glad you are enjoying the warmer evenings. I love the summer weather. Take Care, Dru

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Drusky!!!
Have a great evening!
Hugs!

Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Wow.. What a difference between how I felt this morning (and for the past few days) and now..
The change in brand of St. Johns has made a marked difference and I'm feeling human again!!!!
Wow.. I'm pretty lucky to get such a quick response..
I wouldn't have wanted to stay feeling like I did for even one minute more!

Whew!!!!!!

Now Hamburger Helper is on the stove and I am going to have a gigantic portion but will really really try not to have seconds.. Let's see if I can do it??? LOL...
Basically the day has been very good so I'm happy with that!
See you later friends
Peace and Love,
Deb/ny/ster

[doulachic]

now Deb...you know that hamburger helper is... THE DEVIL!! .....hahahahahahaha!

(wish i had some....**sniff**)

[sanity]

Meh, I like tuna helper. The trick is to put vegetables and cheese in it.

[reinhard]

Hi Deb,

I know we're not supposed to obsess over the scale, but congratulations!

Sorry to hear about your "topsy-turvey subconscious" and other stresses... hope your "pretty good current reality" makes up for it (congratulations on that too).

As for the exercise, I think the trick is be really, really, unambitious -- but regular. Set your goals as modestly as it takes to actually meet them. Meet them for a while, then cautiously raise if necessary/possible. As soon as you start missing goals lower them (the opposite of what you'll be tempted to do).

Reinhard

[Jammin' Jan]

As for the exercise, I think the trick is be really, really, unambitious -- but regular. Set your goals as modestly as it takes to actually meet them. Meet them for a while, then cautiously raise if necessary/possible. As soon as you start missing goals lower them (the opposite of what you'll be tempted to do).

Reinhard, I think this applies to just about every single goal in life that I can think of! We really do make better progress by taking small steps every day than by trying to make giant leaps...and stopping.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thank you very much Reinhard!!!!
I deeply appreciate your unwavering support!!!

Yeah! I certainly don't obsess about scales, but do check once in a while..
It's so funny to me that years ago, if I had told someone that I was happy because 1. I didn't gain weight through a Winter and Spring season, and 2. I lost *2 pounds* over several months, I'd probably feel like a loser...
But not here! I'm really authentically pleased about this...
Mainly the not gaining thing...

So officially since I started NoS in August of 2004, I'm down almost thirty pounds... (four pounds to go!!!)
What a great feeling!
I've realized a lot about me over the last few years... When I overwhelm myself with even a little pressure, I sometimes just freeze up with fear..
NoS, you and the members here, have really been steadfast friends to me....
No one ever tries to judge and evaluate others progress.. Just a lot of friendly, honest support!
I am sure that even if I went to some doctors, who are supposedly health professionals, and told them that I "didn't gain and lost 2 pounds in like four months" I probably would not get congratulations, rather a lecture and criticism... That would only serve to psych me out...

And one more philosophical thought, LOL!
Really.....

I was a very slim child... And I think I had very low self esteem anyway..
This wasn't based on my weight..
Knowing that I'm truly trying to take responsibilty to take care of my self now, even though I am taking a long time, and "still not thin" is something altogether new to me.. I've always been a codependant in my previous relationships, and even at considerably thinner weights, was fairly miserable... I know I'm trying to do something very hard... Changing lifelong habits isn't a walk in the park, but I can say it's a very satisfying process... I'm happier taking my sweet time, in this journey, if it means I
won't be gaining back my hard earned weight loss!!!
Also what you wrote to Sue about gaining some control over our choices, does really play into all this...
I prefer to look at it as being proactive in our lives, rather than "gaining control", because this year I've learned through Yoga philosophy, and meditation, that it is sometimes just better to try and surrender control..
Or we could say, "take personal responsibility" for our health, in place of "control"...
When we know we have tried our absolute hardest, and at least really tried, even if our hardest is a little lame one day versus another, we can truly look at ourselves with self respect and pride

Thanks for your support again!!! It means sooooooooooooooo much!!!!
You are a very dear friend and have helped me so many times!!!
Peace and Love,


Deb

[cvmom]

[quote="gratefuldeb67

NoS, you and the members here, have really been steadfast friends to me....
No one ever tries to judge and evaluate others progress.. Just a lot of friendly, honest support!
[/quote]

I think you have encapsulated the reason why I have stuck around this board so long. And Deb, I thank you very much for being there for me too!

I really like your post because it addresses the fact that life is a process. Taking personal responsibility is growing up and sometimes being a grown up isn't much fun. We could all sit around and complain about our weight or we could do what we are doing, doing the best we can and start taking care of ourselves. (Which from the sound of your post is exactly what you are doing!!!!

Your friend
dru

P.S. I probably messed up that quote thing...still don't know how to use all these functions.

[pangelsue]

Awesome post, Deb. We are all there for each other and help each other through the rough times. That is good to find at the end of the day. Thanks again.

[gratefuldeb67]

Gee thanks ladies!!!
Hugs Dru and Sue!
(hey that rhymes!!! )
Not sure how much I'll be online this weekend..
The thunderstorm last night fried my ethernet cable connection so unless I can install the USB drivers somehow, I may have to send my comp out for repair...
Just when it was up and running again!!!
Rats!!!

So, on that note...
Enjoy S'sing all this weekend!!!
Let's Party!!!!!
LOL!

Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hey everyone
Just a little catchup and some nice things to report!!

The weekend was very nice and we didn't go nuts, but did enjoy several S's, which included cookies, coke flavored slurpees, and a little bit of ice cream...

I am most excited to announce that Richard and I have been eating about 75% more healthy foods than in the past, and that the other day, on an S day, I made a terrific spinach salad with eggs, red onion, carrots, tomatoes, some crumbled well done bacon, and honey mustard dressing, and Richard ate it all!!!!!!
This is a big triumph...
I have been encouraging him to try raw veggies/salad for quite some time..
He only liked celery and carrots in the past, which doesn't really make it in terms of variety and isn't quite what I'd consider a "Salad"...
But I never pushed him if he said no...

He has always liked cooked baby spinach, so I thought I'd give a raw spinach salad a try, and throw in the extras like boiled egg and bacon, to make it more "sellable" LOL..
It worked... Not only did he try it (and he has expressed distaste in most dressings too, which, let's face it, makes salad so much more yummy!) but he ate a very good plateful of it!!!
Woo hooo!!!!!!

I am very happy about this! We also bought fresh fruits and nice natural yogurts and he has been gobbling them up..
In the past, he would only eat those "Kids" yogurts which were some weird flavor, like cotton candy! LOL.. Or worse, the "Yocrunch" yogurt, which basically is basically yogurt with Nestles crunch chocolate to sprinkle on top...
So what's that???

Candy!

This time I said to myself, why not encourage him to pick out some healthy ones, like Brown Cow and Stoneyfield farm...
Well, it looks like he likes them.. And they aren't candy!

Thank goodness we are on NoS, as overall, in a very direct way, we are making much healthier choices these days and still enjoying the occasional treat, which, by the way, really does taste better on S days!!!
Yay!!!!!!

It feels very nice to be back on plan... The only funny stuff I've been doing is the occasional, late evening peach...

I had a very wonderful Yoga class yesterday with Larry, and got a really nice welcome back from the people in the class, who knew me from last year... one of them even said I looked like I lost weight!!! Which made me happy!
I told her that I lost about *2 lbs since last December, but have basically been maintaining my weight, but strangely enough, I felt very proud to say that!

Hope you are all having a great day,
Oh, and if you run into a little boy named Damien today.. Walk the other way!!!!!
LOL...

Peace and Love,
Deb

*NB NoS newbies, don't worry about 2 lbs in 6 months... My total weight loss here since 2004 has been more like 26-30 lbs... I'm a slow loser...
But not gaining and losing slow will get me there eventually!!!

[pangelsue]

Congratulations to you and Richard and your healthy choices. You sound so positive and happy and that is terrific. If he likes spinach, try a salad with mandarin oranges and/or strawberries with cut up chicken. I like to add walnuts, pecans or peanuts too. Maybe even some cheese. My daughter loved that salad and it is so good for summer. You just keep moving on down the line. Congratulations~~

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Sue!!!
I forgot to mention that I threw some mozzarella on there too..
Chicken and mandarins sounds fab!

When my brother and I were young, my Mom always nagged and pushed us to eat things in a very noodgie way, so that we were turned off..
I used the encourage, and then back off method, and then I complimented him for like and hour after he ate the salad!
It was funny

Hope you are well too!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi all!
Gee, my google ads are so flattering!

One about low self esteem, another which says "Slacker Mom" and then, hate your inner voice...

They are all the total opposite of me anyway (except sometimes! LOL..)

So I'm partaking in a non sanctioned S now..
Had to have some chocolate ice cream... It just feels practically medical!
LOL...
My period is coming pretty soon... (it better not be late again!!!)

Ironically, I got in the car, turned on WBGO ( www.wbgo.org ) and the news man said that today was "National Chocolate Ice Cream Day"...
So does this make it legal???

I mean I was born here.. I don't want to be unpatriotic???!!!

Or unchocoholic......
Anyway...

Just thought I'd say hi!!!
Have a great night all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[operababe]

I agree with you Deb, having some chocolate before our period is a positively medical thing to do! Also wanted to say after reading some of your latest posts here that you are very inspiring. You should be held up as an example of how your sane and healthy attitude combined with the sane and healthy No S has made you a success with managing weight. Not gaining weight and losing 2 lbs in 4 months IS success. It shows that you've developed the kind of habits that will sustain you for the rest of your life and not be in danger of "gaining it all back plus more". How many times have we heard that after so-called diet success stories? Bravo to you Deb, hats off and the whole nine yards, I am extremely impressed with what you've accomplished!

[gratefuldeb67]

Thank you very much Operababe!!!

That was very nice of you to say!
When I think about how I'd like things to move faster, etc.. or whatever, I also remind myself that it only took about a year for me to gain nearly fifty pounds before NoS, and I haven't reverted to that "old me", so yeah, maintenence is very satisfying! And when I lose, it's all the more satisfying, because, after all, I'm pushing forty, I tend towards sloth!, and I get pms every month! LOL...so there's a lot I'm up against!
Not to mention the whole single Mom thing, which at times, can be quite stressful and lonely..
Thanks for your kudos!
Have a great weekend!!!

Hope things are going well for you this week
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Well the last few days have been a bit frustrating... I was actually quite good for several, like all the way through Wed, but I have tended towards eating more high salt and fast food, since we did a big road trip over the weekend, and I had two days when we ate Chinese food.. All in NoS quantities, but still that gets me to retain water! Then I got that really bad sunburn on the weekend, and I just started feeling better from that last night... I truly believe my body has been holding water as a result too, perhaps to heal itself... Needless to say, I weighed on Wed and was up about three pounds, so I'm a bit aggravated, but know in my heart, it will go away soon... I also had done more exercise in the past week than I have for about 3 months, with the walking and yoga classes resuming..
My body is in transition or something...
Yesterday I caved into some S temptations, though they were at a big party/recital Richard gave, so that's almost a legal S... LOL..
A glass of coke, a handful of donut holes and chocolate chip cookies, and some Doritos were involved

His recital went wonderfully!!! I wish there was some way to make a file for you all to see!!!
He played Herbie Hancock's "Cantelope Island" and his teacher Premik
( www.premik.com ) jammed with him and they even "traded fours"!!!
I believe that he was the only person of all the students who actually did improvised solos which weren't written out in advance on paper for him!
It was a great night!

Have a terrific weekend all!
I plan on doing some heavy duty walking and meditation!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

It 's the week for for fat and salt, I guess. I just got through writing on my thread about the same thing. I can't seem to get away from it this week.

The concert sounds wonderful and well worth an S day. We must celebrate our successes and special days. I bet you were so proud. He is of an artistic temprement just like his mom. Add the meditation and walking as needed but the celebrations should be as needed as well. Some of that weight gain is probably from swelling with pride!! LOL. Enjoy the weekend, Deb and mazeltov to Richard.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks alot Sue!
I will tell Richie you said hi and congrats!!!
Your post cheered me up~
Much appreciated!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi friends
Yesterday, I really thought about how good I've been with consciously doing NoS, and I gave myself a so so rating... The reason was that I've been letting many of the rules go slack..
One important one, maybe the most important, is the one plate rule...
I'm getting back to eating seconds at dinner, so that's totally got to change, and as for junk food, Richie and I have been taking extra snacks and sweets... Not lots, but enough to throw off the delicate balance of NoS, and make me start gaining weight...
I also talked to Richard about the amount of sweets he's consuming these past few days... We live by a park, and the icecream man comes around with candy, ice cream, and theres also a soda machine at the park..
So, there've been some days where, when left to himself he got one from each category, and not on an S day...

I've been too lax on both of us about the structure here, and we had about a 20 minute talk over lunch on how important it is for us both to get back to forming the good habits, as the bad ones are just waiting to come around when we aren't on our guard..
He agreed.. Fortunately he is a very very active kid, and hasn't gained weight, but I am very worried that when he gets older, and ends up with the old habits back in his life he wil gain..
Anyway..
We agreed that S's just taste better when we don't have them all the time..
The ice cream truck issue is a toughie, and I don't want to be mean or overly restrictive, so for the Summer, Richies personal S rules will be, that he can have two extra S's a week on top of the two for the weekend.. Either a soda, or an ice cream, not both, and definitely not candy.. That's only for the *real* S days...
As for me, I am going to really crack down on my meals and make sure they are on plates, whether overloaded or not, but not seconds!!!!
And no eating at night, as thats started again, sadly..
If I have funny stuff or a failure, I will post something about it, ala our friend and founder, Reinhard...
I don't think I'll post a lot otherwise.. Just if I slip up...
If you don't see anything, assume I'm on plan
So that's my story, and I feel better just getting it out..
Enjoy the beautiful day all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

That's a mixed blessing post, Deb. I don't know what to wish for. We will miss you if you stop posting but if you post, you will have had a "funny stuff" day and we wouldn't want that. Hmmmm. I think in part we are having some of the same issues and that is making it hard to stay focused. I haven't been losing lately, in fact, even though I have been sticking to the no s rules for the last 2 weeks, I have actually gained 3 pounds. Very, very frustrating. I know it is because we have been so busy helping Charity find a car and getting her finances back on track and also we have been trying to get the garden in order (huge task because it is large) with me working overtime and Tom's back giving him lots of problems. Do to all of the above, we have been eating out a lot or when we are cooking at home, we are using short cuts and that has been involving lots of salt and fat. The gain has been demoralizing and disheartening. I am back on track with a new focus. I have reading other people's posts more again lately and the winners seem to have 2 things in common. First, their No S days meals are healthy (ie low fat, salt and they are balanced), second, their weekends are not pig outs, which mine have actually been from the beginning. I know I need to get serious again and ask myself the all important question, am I doing this or am I eating 3 unhealthy meals a day and pigging out on weekends. I love this lifestyle and I will make it work. I have started living like I can have it all, and realistically, especially with my exercise avoidance issues, I can't. I am excited about moving on with new motivation.
Decide what is best for you but keep us posted either way. It wouldn't be the same without you.

[gratefuldeb67]

Oh hey Sue!
I didn't mean I was gonna stop posting all together... LOL...
I just mean that in terms of diet, I will only mention the funny stuff to keep myself honest and on track, but obviously, if I am in a writing mood, I'll keep writing the good stuff too..
What I guess I mean is that I want to be accountable, but I feel like daily posts, at this far along (I joined in 2004, did you see how many posts I've written so far??? LOL..) is getting a little burdensome...

I had a very very upsetting day today and I claim S day immunity...
My Dad, who is pretty far along with Parkinsons, and in his early eighties, had to be admitted into the hospital, and my brother was out of town, and I had to be the family member to deal with the emts/nurses/doctors etc.

I was lucky to have some support online from dear friends (you know who you are) and I also talked to a few friends on my phone, during the whole deal, but it was greatly upsetting..
Fortunately my Dad is now in good care and will be watched closely for the next few days and get some rehab..
So I had a donut and also some frozen ice pops tonight (It was hot today!)
But, strangely enough, I didn't eat any seconds! LOL...

Thanks Sue for writing!
We will survive!!!!

See you soon
Peace and Love,
Deb

[Daisy]

Go on Deb - you know you can do it.

Good luck and best wishes - Daisy

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Daisy!
You have a lovely day too!!!
I dumped out some junk food this morning, which I was snacking on out of stress last night (Stupid economy sized bag of Doritos!!!!)
and I am happy I did!!!
Better to waste two dollars of chips than keep screwing up...

We aren't bringing those into the house anymore except on S days in small packs...

Have a great day all!
Peace and Love,
Deb
By the way... I am sooooo not weighing myself this week...
I'll wait till I've had a good few weeks of N days

[operababe]

Deb, you are under a lot of stress, it must be really tough to see your Dad like this, and my heart goes out to you. So if a donut or two or an ice pop helps, AND you're not going for seconds at meals, then you are doing absolutely 100% great! Food is a great friend when we're in a difficult situation. But I know you've got the No S habit deeply ingrained, diet wise this is just a bump on the road. You know that we're all here for you. I'm very impressed with all the support that Pangelsue and others are offering you. Just reach out, we're here to grab your hand and hold on in support as long as you need us.

I hope you have a much better week.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks a lot Babe! LOL..
I really do appreciate it!
My Dad is well situated for now... He got admitted and has a private room, with a phone, and I talked to him about half hour ago...
He sounded okay...

Today has gone very well, with the exception of a little unplanned S..
I had a small glass of lemonade which my son brought home..
We bought a big jug of it for a class party, and he took the leftovers home..
I haven't had any seconds today, and I actually almost did, but I talked myself down from the sneaky bad habits "ledge"...
I know that if I just keep "passing" on those impulsive or "opportunistic" eating moments, I will develop my good habit brain to be strong again..
I went for a cup of coffee instead, and that did the trick

So I'm pretty sure today can be called a success!
Have a nice day and thanks for the support!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

So tomorrow is my 39th Birthday
Just sayin

There will be S's involved!

Peace and Love,
Deb

[doulachic]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

have those S's! You deserve them!

[Daisy]

Hi Deb

Have a really lovely birthday - and enjoy the cake.

Love Daisy

[pangelsue]

Happy Birthday, Deb!!! 39 is great, as is 49 and 59. It's all about having fun, staying healthy and living life to the fullest. Enjoy those S's and tell us all about them. Head for 40 with new fine honed resolve.

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks friends!!!
It was a very nice birthday, and Richie kept asking me "So are you having a good birthday?" LOL
He's the best present!!!!

Have a nice weekend all
Peace and Love,
Deb

[Daisy]

Hi Deb - glad you had a good one.

Kids are wonderful arn't they - once upon a time, I thought I didn't want any - but my Ami came along 8 years ago (totally unplanned) and I think to myself everyday - thank god she did - I would have missed out on so much she is such a blessing.

Now when I hear people say they don't want children it makes me sad because they don't know what a truely wonderful experience they are missing out on.

Kindest regards to you and Richie and enjoy being 39 - age is just a number and I feel younger now (I'm 43) than I did 20 years ago - perhaps its having kids!!

[pangelsue]

He sounds like the best. Really glad you had a good birthday. What no cake description???

[sanity]

Daisy, an 8 year old can be a blessing, I guess. A three year old and a thirteen year old can make you wonder if it was worth it.

I'm not saying this because I've ever had kids, I'm saying this because I remember what I was like, and what my brother was like. I'm 19, so the memory's still fresh

But certainly, if children are a blessing, then parents are saints.

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Sue
LOL!

Well we actually had a bunch of junk food and some ice cream yesterday, but today we had an official celebration dinner out, just us two, for Indian food, and then we got a cheesecake for the "cake" a day late!
Today was Richies last day of school, so we made today an S day too!

But we did put candles on the Haagen Daaz yesterday!

I took Richie for a special new earring, and the girl behind the counter (It was a hippy shop/head shop type store! LOL)
Saw that I had a t-shirt with the image of Buddha on it, so she asked me if I meditate?
We then had a cool conversation, which she seemed very happy to have, about Yoga, meditation, and anything that would lower her stress...
I was happy to point her in that direction!

So that's where I'll be tomorrow morning!
My Dad had a defibrilator implanted today, over his heart, which the ekgs showed wasn't pumping enough blood... Much too little.. like 15 percent what it should be.. and his heart rhythm was very fast and exaggerated, and weak.. tacacardia, I think they said..
So I'm still pretty stressed and have been letting myself really slack on any activity.. But I'm not going to let that go on anymore.. It just doesn't make things better, it makes it worse..

Well thanks again for all the well wishes and birthday wishes guys!
You are the best!
Have a great weekend!!!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[pangelsue]

Extended birthdays are good. I've had a few of those. Talking about cheesecake and Haagen Das on Monday. Ohhhh, the cruelty!!! LOL> Sounds like you had a good time.

Scary stuff with your dad. I've been there with 4 parents and only one went quickly. It is a rough time of life. It teaches us much but takes it's toll. It is so hard to watch people who we always saw as so strong, starting to age. My heart goes out to you. You are supportive and strong so he is a lucky person to have you. Be sure and take time for yourself too (and Richard of course, but I don't have to tell you that).

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Sue

I appreciate your kind words!

Have a nice night
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Day 1
I say, it's a success, though I did have a few slices of ham and cheese when I was making Richards lunch for tomorrow, as well as two ritz bits cheese things..

It was a very emotional day, and I'm happy I didn't eat sweets or really snack either (except for said funny stuff above)...
I also am proud that I was able to eat a portion of sour cream and onion chips along with my chicken, at dinner, and ate them on the plate, not out of the bag... I didn't go back for seconds either!

We went shopping for food today, so thats good, and I'll be less tempted to order pizza and Chinese food...

Richards bus came home very late, so I missed my Yoga class, and feel frustrated about that, but I will practice on my own tomorrow, and then make sure to get to class Wed...
I walked a little this morning, even though it rained.. I actually didn't care that it was raining on me!

I hope tomorrow is better!
I'll try to not have any funny stuff if I can!

Hope you all have a nice evening

Peace and Love,
Deb

[operababe]

Deb, you are doing so well, and including a snack food with your meal is a terrific idea. There is no deprivation!

I hear you about having emotional days, and the comfort that food seems to provide. I have mentioned this terrific book called "Life is Hard, Food is Easy" by Linda Spangle. I ordered it on amazon, and it cost less than $20.00 - maybe for you it would be less than $15.00. Either way, it's worth it, and has helped me see a lot of the triggers I have had in the past for overeating and snacking.

I may post a weekly thread highlighting an idea or exercise or both from the book. In fact, I'll just do it, starting today, and see if it helps. You know, just a bit of extra support for people. You see how wonderful you are? You have inspired me just by being you. Thank you Deb!

[gratefuldeb67]

Awwww shucks! Thanks Babes!!!
Have a great day!

ps... my "Emotional" day, was really over the hilt, more than normal, because of my Dad being sick now..
Thanks for your support!
P&L,
Deb

ps... I posted a link to my new music page on myspace... just incase you guys didn't catch that in the "off topic" thread, here it is again

Please visit me for music and photos!
www.myspace.com/debstardivine

Seeya later!

[heathengirl]

Hey Deb!

I've been skimming your log this morning--wow, what an awesome journey! And what an inspiration you are, oopses and all! It's so cool that Richard is No S-ing with you, too. So many people get their bodies and metabolisms messed up by drastic dieting when they're kids. No S is such a sensible way to deal with unhealthy eating and substituting better eating (and exercise) habits at any age, I think.

So, I just wanted to drop by and say Hi and add my applause to everyone else's here. You really do rock!

[heathengirl]

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

[gratefuldeb67]

Thanks Heathengirl!
I appreciate it

Thanks for your thoughts on Richie too..
It really is sad when start to become a chubby kid, and then the teasing begins.. I mean, kids are just mean sometimes!
So, I'm very happy he is doing some serious internal good work, because that's what builds self esteem, and then when he hears those ridiculous comments, he can take them much more so, with a grain of salt...
He is slim and healthy and learning moderation at a crucial age...
We are both happy to be each others helpers!
Have a great day!
Oh, and by the way, your post just pushed my "views" to over 20,000!

I feel like some kind of diet board cult happening! LOL..
Well just about to eat a great homemade sub sandwich which I will enjoy thoroughly, especially after that good walk this morning

Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Okay, so today is turning into an uplanned S day...
This is the dillemma..
We have these free movie passes we've been waiting to use for months now, and the theater which they are from is now showing a movie we really want to see...
Nacho Libre! LOL...
I love Jack Black don't you!??

Anyway... I guess we could wait till the weekend to go to the movies, but who knows what will be happening with my Dad by then, and frankly, I could use a little escape today.. And it might change by Friday anyway, so I don't want to miss it

Thing is, going to the movies just isn't as fun without popcorn and soda and candy..

I'd say I'll take one less S day on the weekend, but I know thats just not gonna work for me, and I'll just break my promise, so why make it to begin with?

Will restart 21 days tomorrow!
And anyway, for me it's more like 630 days...

So for now..
Arriba!!!!

Will let you know if it was worth it! LOL..
Peace and Love,
Deb

[doulachic]

hey, we are going to take the kids to see that next week! I love Jack Blackas well, he is so funny! let me know if it is any good. Did you see School of Rock? hilarious!

and hey, sometimes life throws us an unplanned S day, i wouldn't sweat it much if i were you.

[gratefuldeb67]

Okay,,, back from Nacho Libre!

Tricia, it was well worth it!!!!
Really really fun movie!!!!

I think it was even better than School of Rock, even though I liked that one too..

It gets 4 stars from me
Enjoy it with your fam!

Oh, also thanks for the hello in my PM... I will check out your son's page too!
Have a nice evening all!

PS...
I am sooooo full from popcorn and all the junk! LOL...
Aaaaannnnnd,,,, we left half of the humongozoid sized bucket uneaten!
Oh man! I'm glad we didn't eat it all!!!
LOL...
(But the candy and soda got finished )

Night all
Deb

[pangelsue]

I would love to see that movie too. There is just something about Jack Black. Cute and funny. Maybe this weekend. Popcorn is good anytime. Glad you had a good time.

[sanity]

The same Jack Black who sang "Back in Black" at the last New Year's party I can remember seeing on TV? (Ok, I don't remember what year it was. That's bad.)

To quote the Dodge commercial, "It's anything but cute."

Not very convincing, is it?

[gratefuldeb67]

Yeah, he was very cute in this, and always is! LOL...

Love that guy!!!!!!
He's pleasantly crazed!!!!
Plus, he is actually one of those actors who embraces who is is, chubby belly and all, and you admire that too... I wonder what he's really like? Well I think he is the best

ps. Sanity...
I don't have a tv, so I didn't catch it... Too bad! But if he was promoting his School of Rock movie when you saw him sing the AC/DC song, that would make sense

Enjoy the day all!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[doulachic]

I love Jack, he is like a cute chubby teddy bear with a hint of insanity! I have liked the movies i have seen him in so far...looking forward to Nacho Libre...Saving Silverman was funny too...As far as i know he is married with a baby on the way, so cool, huh? I bet he'll be a fun dad.

[gratefuldeb67]

Hey today is going very well! I just came back from Yoga and shopping..
It was very good to get to that class!!!!!!
I was sweating like I never did before.. Infact it was almost like projectile sweat! LOL..

I went in feeling very low, very flabby and fairly tired, and I am happy that when I came out, I felt refreshed, relaxed and really worked out!
And really, just being around Larry is always helpful and inspirational to me..
He is a vessel of health and love and happiness
My guru friend!

I wasn't going to weigh myself at first, because I've noticed that my stomach has been bulging alot these days, and my pants are snug, so I was starting to get paranoid that I might have put on something like four or five pounds...
And I didn't want to psych myself out.. But in the end I did weigh myself, and I'm very relieved to say that I only gained between 1.5 and 2.5 lbs...
(I'm not totally sure because my last weigh in was pre breakfast and about five hours earlier..)
Amazing!!
This just confirms that when I feel emotionally bad, and my mind is dealing with all this negativity and sadness (due to Dad) it just affects how I perceive myself..
And, the fact that I was not going to Yoga and feeling very flabby..
So, even when I'm not doing that great, NoS seems to be keeping me from really gaining weight, even during very challenging times!
Pretty damn cool!

So, gonna go out tonight and hear some blues, and probably toss back a few beers to let loose...
But no soda!

Let's just call today a big success!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

I had a pretty great lunch today..
I was in the mood for olives, and crackers, and also fruit, so I had one medium plate of cherries and half a banana, and a small separate dish of green and black olives with a handful of ritz cheese bits, and half a small avocado with a spoonful of creamy Italian dressing...

I felt like I was having horsdourves (sp? sorry! LOL)
at a party!
Couldn't put them all on one plate though as I just didn't want to mix the olives with the banana and cherries.. It seemed too deviant!!! LOL..

Last night I had one tequilla sunrise and half a plate of buffalo wings, at the bar I went to for the jam, and I'm very happy I didn't 1. Have soda, and 2. Stop at dunkin donuts on the way home, which I used to do for a pickerup before driving back home, and then of course a donut would have to go with the coffee.. But not last night~

No exercise yet, but I'm about to go and take my "constitutional" now
(Thanks Operababe for that neat word!) and keep my promise to walk!!!
Yay!!!!

Have a nice evening all!!
Peace and Love,
Deb

[gratefuldeb67]

Just wanted to add that I'm starting to do squats now, both in yoga class, and on my own..
JWL suggested those to me the other day (thanks James!!!) and I can't believe what a good workout they are!
I did 40 last week, on my birthday, and today I upped the ante a bit, at his challenge (again thanks James! Nothin like a little inspirational challenge to get you goin~) and I did 50 today at the end of my walk around my neighborhood..
I be very sweaty now!

This is a really great way to get the blood pumping!!!

I don't do them fast, but I do them with a rhythm, and I raise my arms and lower them along with my inhale and exhaled...
It's very energizing!

Yay!!!

Well, bout to hit Blockbuster in a few minutes and the next "hurdle" is passing the candy aisle at the end of the store
We will do it!
Good evening all
P&L,
Deb

[pangelsue]

Wow, I'm very impressed. Hope you made it through that candy aisle. Only one day to go until it is guilt-free.
There is a show on cable called "Honey, we're killing the kids". It's a sort of cool idea. They take a family where the kids are on the large size or kids that have really bad eating habits. They use computer enhancement to show the parent/parents what the kids will look like at 40 if they continue to eat the way they are and not exercise. It is usually pretty grim. Then they put the family on a 2 week diet and exercise program and at the end they show them what the kids should look like at 40 if they stay eating and exercising the way they now do. It is an amazing difference. My only objection is the horrible, boring diet they put them on. To take kids from cheese fries to tofu, is really setting them up to fail. They ought to take them directly to No S.
Anyway, my point is, you are doing your best to insure Richard's future and I think that is great. His 40 is lookin' pretty good, I'd say. You are doing this for the both of you. Way to be an awesome mom. Have a great weekend Deb.

[doulachic]

Hey Deb

Here is the link to my son's band's "my space" page (my son is Josh...far left on the group pic) :

http://www.myspace.com/envoyrock

Hope you like their vids!

Oh, and i love that show "Honey, we're killing the kids", though i agree that they are to extreme in the diet choices at the start, no easing into the healthy eating..no wonder the kids (and the parents!) rebel at first....good concept though.

[gratefuldeb67]

Hi Tricia!
Those rascal punk/Christian rocking kids these days!!! LOL...

You must have the patience of an angel!!!

Your son looks cute, though I must admit, it's not really my cup of musical tea these days.. LOL... No offense! But kudos to them for doing it!!!!

Knowwhatimean Vern?

Anyway... I just wanted to post this morning to report on the last few days..

I wasn't very good with the rules this week and took more than ample S days, even beyond the July fourth deal... So I'm going to really crack down on myself and get back to business today

I will, however, say that I did a lot of exercise this week, and I'm really proud of that!!!!
Mostly it was "real" work... One day I moved a queen sized bed (2 x's) in and out of my apartment all alone... I was going to throw it out, but once it was already out, my Mom called me and asked if I could drag it back in so she could pick it up and take it later in the week as an extra bed for her guest room.. I disassembled and reassembled a steel frame futon and shlepped the thing around my apartment, and now we have a cool couch to sit on in our shared living/tv/computer room and lots more space since the queen sized bed was totally monopolizing the little room.. It's much nicer in here now! Yay!! But I really trashed my arms that day!!! Three times last week, I did Urban Ranger and 50 squats afterwards... And yesterday I moved a window ac unit from the shed into our place, and installed it... Man!!!! Heavy!!!! LOL
Then I got pms and started going wacko on breaking rules on NoS, and yesterday I got my period and today it's pretty much dragging me down to slow motion mode...

I am going to start giving myself weekly habit goals.. Somehow, I have a real mental problem with thinking of 21 days, even with the 2 days off..
So I am going to break it down into 5 N day goals instead.. That seems friendlier to my mind! If they turn into 21 days, great! Not giving myself a goal at all, isn't too productive for me either, so I am not going to just randomly chart daily successes without a short term goal..
Does that make sense to you guys?
LOL..
Anyway..

Please wish me some good luck everyone! I am hoping that once this week is passed successfully, I will feel much less bloated and blech!!! LOL.. Really.. My tummy doesn't like when I go off plan for any substantial period of time..
And at this point, all I need is like one week to feel sufficient physical revulsion disgust for the old habits of overeating, to make me want to just get right back on plan!

Funny... if you are bored of "maintaining" folks, just try to go back to overeating for a couple of days, and see how great if feels to go back to maintaining again... Gaining sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to chart my progress on a separate thread for the sake of just keeping it very clear... If you want to write me back, could you all please reply on this thread...
The habit calendar should prove very useful for that in the future
:wink wink Rein!::

Okay!
Thanks for listening friends!
Have a great day!

Peace and Love,
Deb