Katie's Daily Check-In

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:25 am

There've been a bunch of red days this past month, but my weight has stayed mostly the same and I'm still determined to follow through with No S.

Today: 129.4 lb

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 12:01 pm

Well done! Maintenance is success after all.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 1:06 pm

That's awesome - keep it up.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Thu May 15, 2014 11:22 pm

My weight went up a little since I last posted, but then down again as I started taking medication for my hypothyroidism. Yeah, guess what, that's what I have. No wonder I wasn't able to lose weight.
I had some blood drawn a month ago, and the doctor said we should up my dosage of the thyroid meds a little -- I told her I wasn't even taking any! So I just got started with the meds about three weeks ago and have already lost some weight (after stagnating or going up for two months or so). Weight was at 129.2 lb today.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri May 16, 2014 8:53 am

Delighted you got the right help now!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Fri May 16, 2014 9:14 am

Thank you!
I weighed 127.9 lb today -- my lowest weight since last fall.

It's amazing what an effect a malfunctioning hormone gland can have on your body... and even more amazing to see that effect reversed. My skin isn't as dry anymore now, and my digestion is also improving.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri May 16, 2014 1:40 pm

Thrilling that you got on some medication, Anoulie! Like you said, hypothyroidism affects way more than just weight. It affects your mood, your hair, your energy, your clarity of thinking, and of course your skin and digestion (as you noticed).

Happy for you!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Tue Jun 03, 2014 4:53 pm

You guys, I think I'm gonna try to quit No S and get back (?) to a normal eating behavior.

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of itâ€”not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.

In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.â€

Copyright Â© 2009 by Ellyn Satter.

I started No S at 16 (wow, it's been four and a half years), so I didn't really end up developping a mature idea of what normal eating is like. I think I generally tend towards extremes -- perfect compliance or constant failures (and beating myself up about them), in No S terminology. When I moved out, this just got worse. I'm placing way too many restrictions on my own eating (and behavior in general), sometimes without even noticing, and then I rebel and binge and that's just not cool. I've recognized this almost a year ago, but I didn't want to give up No S -- I didn't think I could.

It's kinda sad that with No S (and the associated reading and stuff), I've been soaking up the United States' unhealthy eating culture. My country's getting there, too, though...
I don't want to blame No S as a system -- I'm sure it's great for people who've been struggling with food issues all their lives and just need some structure, but I think I, personally, just need a little less structure. I'm already a control freak, and this program hasn't really helped with that. I didn't really struggle with food before as far as I recall, and although I found myself a little chubby then, I was actually almost 10 lb lighter.
I'm still not overweight (23.5-24 BMI), and I want to develop some normal, flexible, heathy eating habits now before I spiral farther into this cycle of guilt and restriction and get a full-blown eating disorder.*

My weight isn't even that important to me anymore -- maybe because I've tried to lose weight for the past two years or so and it has only stagnated. Weighing 120 lb is kind of like a villa by the beach to me now: Sure, it would be awesome, but it's also pretty unattainable and not even necessary because I'm happy where I am.

Wish me luck as I figure this out, you guys

I may still occasionally check in here, but it's probably less harmful to my thinking if I limit that.

I wish you all the best!

* If I don't, I should probably start seeing a therapist or something.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:19 pm

Not sure you're still getting this but good luck Anoulie! Do check in in a couple of months or so to let us know how you're doing.

And I want to say: you are at a healthy weight and are beautiful!

Try whatever you think "normal eating is" (as for my grandparents, great grandparents and the majority of my current Austrian friends and family NoS is their "normal way of eating") and I sincerely hope it works out for you!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:43 am

So I'm checking in again as promised, and here's what happened the past two months or so:

I did some experimenting and soul-searching and whatnot, and figured out my problem is mostly bingeing. I binged on weekends because No S allowed it, and whenever I had a failed N day (and I had at least one per week), I binged then, too. Not surprising that this doesn't exactly lend itself to weightloss.
So I decided to work on getting the bingeing under control first, and not even care about weightloss for now. To do so, I stopped weighing myself daily and decided to do monthly weigh-ins instead.
It's been working pretty well. I mostly follow the No S structure, as it's become such a habit, and when I do feel like eating something sweet, I just buy one candy item instead of five

I do that maybe two or three times per week. And when I get hungry in the afternoon (doesn't happen too often), I just have half a banana or something instead of trying to tough it out, then giving in and bingeing.

I like that I now listen to my body much more than when I was doing No S by the letter. I used to eat three meals a day, even when I wasn't too hungry for one of them, because I was afraid I'd get hungry later. Now I know I can just have an apple after dinner if it turns out dinner wasn't big enough (I rarely do eat between meals, though)

And on weekends, I used to always buy the same huge amount of low-quality candy and eat all of it in a short amount of time, and I wasn't even enjoying it. Now I get one sweet thing with my weekly grocery shopping and eat that (usually still in a short period of time, but I'm okay with that for now), and then maybe something from a bakery at some other point during the week.
It's pretty chill

especially the "not weighing myself every day" part. Those daily fluctuations stressed me out more than I thought.
Oh, and another cool thing is eating socially, even during the week, is now no problem at all. It's neat.

I know all these effects could be achieved using just No S, but I guess I'm just not the right person for it. Point is, I feel pretty good about my eating right now, and God willing, I'll keep it up for a lifetime

Also, I weighed 126.1 lb this morning, my lowest weight this year. Yay.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 10:01 am

I'm delighted that you found a way for you that works! Sounds great.

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Fri Aug 01, 2014 4:19 pm

Congratulations! Can you indulge my curiosity and tell me if you've ever had problems with emotional overeating/bingeing in your life? I'm asking because your "mostly No S" plan is something I'd like to adopt myself somewhere down the road, but I'm afraid I'll go back to my old habits as soon as times get tough. Vanilla No S protects me at least from mindless emotional overeating on weekdays.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Sat Aug 02, 2014 7:18 am

Imogen Morley wrote:Congratulations! Can you indulge my curiosity and tell me if you've ever had problems with emotional overeating/bingeing in your life? I'm asking because your "mostly No S" plan is something I'd like to adopt myself somewhere down the road, but I'm afraid I'll go back to my old habits as soon as times get tough. Vanilla No S protects me at least from mindless emotional overeating on weekdays.

Yeah, I've been struggling with that for at least 3 or 4 years. I wouldn't mind it too much if No S was actually still able to protect me from myself on weekdays, but the thing is -- it wasn't. I still binged on weekdays if I felt the urge -- and then also on weekends because it was allowed.
But I think part of what caused me to binge was the restriction of No S (so the bingeing was sort of a rebellion against the system). So now that I can, in theory, eat as much as I want every day, I feel the urge to binge far less frequently.
Of course, times haven't gotten crazy tough in the time I spent off-program so far, and I don't expect that I'll never binge/eat emotionally again. But I've definitely gotten binge cravings before when I was doing my own, non-No S thing, and then I just bought a 4-oz package of something sweet, instead of a pound and a half of candy with more calories than I should have in a day. So I hope that I can just continue to do that in the future, and eventually even take my time and just eat half of the cookies in one sitting and then the next half on another day, for example. But I don't stress out too much about that.
I hope I could help.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Mon Sep 01, 2014 8:12 pm

Another month is over, and a very stressful one at that. I had a huge exam in mid-August, and have another coming up in a week. Unsurprisingly, that led to eating more candy and a little less order in my eating overall, but it wasn't as bad as it had sometimes been in the past couple of years. Despite the stress, I hardly ever binged, and even when I did, it would hardly be considered a medical-grade binge... maybe half of the candy I ate on a typical Saturday when I was still doing No S.
So overall, I'm pretty happy with the past month, despite gaining a little weight (a pound and a half). I now weigh 127.6 lb, putting my BMI at 23.2.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 1:54 am

Enjoy the process, if you can!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:14 am

Does anyone know if there's a way to change my username?

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:21 am

unfortunately not. don't you like it anymore? I'm sure Reinhard can help!

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:45 pm

I do like it; in fact, I like it so much that I've been using it on other sites too, and I don't really want my identity connected with all the very private things I've posted in this thread. (Yeah, I know, I'm realizing this pretty late.) Actually, if there's a way to just delete this one check-in thread so it can't be found by Googling my username, that would be splendid.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:29 am

Oh wow, I never realised that it's google-able. Hmmm.

Have you tried going into your Profile and just put in another username? (sorry if you have!)

Edit: I've just tried it. It seems to only change future ones. I will have a play around and see if it's possible to delete posts.

Edit 2: ok, it says on the bottom "You CAN delete your posts on this forum" but I'm not computer savvy enough to figure out how. I think PM Reinhard, I'm sure he'll be able to help! And let me know if you figure out how.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:15 pm

I changed my user name a long time ago, but the old posts do stay with the old name. I have never tried to delete old posts as a group but I know you can individually go back and delete the content by using edit.

Eschano...where did you find the delete posts option? I looked for it at the bottom of my profile information and did not see it.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:21 pm

Oh, I didn't find an option! Just that it says:

You can post new topics in this forum
You can reply to topics in this forum
You can edit your posts in this forum
You can delete your posts in this forum
You can vote in polls in this forum

at the bottom of the whole webpage so I figured there needs to be a way to do it.

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:37 pm

Ahh. I see it now. I think I have deleted posts that no one has replied to, but I think once there is a reply it might be locked in to only being able to edit.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Nov 16, 2014 10:48 pm

So, are you posting on No S under another name?

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Tue Jun 30, 2015 7:16 pm

oolala53 wrote:So, are you posting on No S under another name?

Nope, I pretty much quit No S altogether. I realized it is actually NOT good for me. I already have a tendency for perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking, and well, if you are that way, No S might not be the best choice for you.
So now I'm trying to do my best and to eat like a normal person: three meals a day and the occasional snack (a banana, a yoghurt, or even -- gasp! -- a chocolate bar on a Wednesday). No tracking or anything, just trying to not let my eating get out of control. When I do buy candy, I still finish it off in one sitting, but then it's only ~ 500 kcal and not 1,200 in a sitting. I weigh 129 lb now.
It's recently been working out pretty well, and I just wanted to let you know how I'm doing. I'm also working with a therapist now, which is helpful (not only because of food issues).
So I probably won't be checking in here a lot, but still -- thanks for your support and concern. <3

EDIT: I just read back through my post to find I've apparently been eating similarly last August -- but in the winter/spring, it got pretty bad again. Here's hoping I can stick to my current, more relaxed eating habits with the help of my therapist (and God!).

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Jun 30, 2015 8:54 pm

That actually sounds much like No S with appropriate mods for you. Great!

And the therapy for food issues usually boils down to other stuff anyway. Not to say that people who don't overeat don't have their own dramas to deal with. I'm glad it's helping.

Warmest wishes!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Jun 30, 2015 9:05 pm

Just browsed back through and saw your weight is about the same as it was two years ago. I know your goal weight was lower, but maintaining is still good news, in my book. And you said 125 was in your normal BMI range, so this isn't far off.

It is so hard in this culture to keep body image and expectations in perspective. We are led to believe that we are somehow better as people if we are thinner! Every culture has expectations that can drive the individuals crazy. It sounds like you are making headway beating this, if it was part of the problem. Sorry if I'm projecting!

Bye again.

Anoulie · Post by **Anoulie** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:57 am

oolala53 wrote:Just browsed back through and saw your weight is about the same as it was two years ago. I know your goal weight was lower, but maintaining is still good news, in my book. And you said 125 was in your normal BMI range, so this isn't far off.

At 129 lb, my BMI is 23.6, so that's still pretty normal. It'd be nice to lose a little weight for the wedding next year, but not necessary. At this point I just want to have normal eating behavior again; any weight loss that may result is just a nice bonus.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Jul 01, 2015 3:10 pm

That BMI could easily take you through a long life of health. You are lighter than I was when I started the dieting mess decades ago because I wanted to lose ten pounds. Oh, how I wish all I had aimed for was sane eating ala No S or something similar! And consistent moderate exercise.

You are going to look fantastic as a bride. I know it's not my business, but from my perspective, it might be a gift not to be at a lower weight that you would likely not maintain and then always be wishing you could get back to. And to be at weight you that would let you wear that dress on your 20th anniversary...

Have a great summer.