Linda's daily check-in

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:55 pm

Linda, your Sunday S Day sounds lovely!

"Night Swimming" by REM is one of my all-time favorite songs.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:57 pm

Wow, this was an inspirational weekend for you guys, eh? Brilliant stuff here to think about.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:52 pm

Linda, I agree with your insights 100 percent! I think I will try focusing on those things, too -- food and movement first, weight loss second. Your Sunday evening does sound nice!

Heather

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 1:14 am

Linda,

You are such a bada$$! In an AWESOME way.

I was totally caught up in this post- loved the observation about your sister and her self-consciousness and my favorite part was about holding your head up high no matter what you weigh.

I could not agree more- I have totally given myself over to No S and am no longer willing to trade this way of eating/living for any type of diet plan.

May we all continue to encourage each other along in this journey!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 6:45 am

Thank you eschano, heather & worth it! (Lol never been called a badass, well not recently anyway

So glad we're all on the same page & can support each other. Pretty cool.

Today was really good although still feeling a little blah from my over the top weekend.

Break: scrambled eggs, toast, tomatoes, peach, sugar-free mocha
Lunch: hot dog, salad, nectarine, mocha
Dinner: turkey meatloaf, mashed potatoes, broccoli w cheese, yogurt, iced tea
I was starving at dinner time & piled the plate a little too high. Felt fine by bedtime though so it's all good.

Exercise: 14 mins row (working on being more consistent w exercise).

Had a fun day at home and the girls were actually super good. They swam for like 4 hours and then worked on their gymnastic moves. They barely fought all day! Also one of the clown fish jumped out of the tank and it was in a spot I couldn't get to so Zoe had to do it. She's usually a big chicken but when it comes down to the moment of an ER she always comes through. She saved the fish & was so,proud of herself!

A little stressed because I think I over scheduled us this week and we're going to LA this weekend to surprise my MIL for her bday. Lots to do!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:05 am

Oh I love the fish story! I'd be proud too.

I figure if you felt fine after your big plate you probably needed it otherwise you would feel like I feel right now - completely over the top stuffed haha! (still from this S day weekend)

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:10 pm

I agree. Some days you just need more food

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 5:58 am

Yeah you guys are right--some days are just like that.

Break: 2 pieces bacon, 1 pancake, oatmeal w fruit, mocha
Lunch: 2 tofu rolls with peanut sauce, Greek yogurt w fruit & nuts, iced tea
Dinner: steak fajitas, refried beans, corn on the cob, wine cooler

Exercise: 14 mins row; 14 mins floor work--felt great!

Good day. Girls have 2 really sweet friends sleeping over. Everyone got along so nicely. Only tough point was when girls pulled out five kinds of ice cream & made sundaes. Even DH joined in & I was pretty tempted but stuck w an iced tea & reminded myself I can have ice cream this weekend--yay!

We have plans with friends for the next 3 days & somehow I need to squeeze in an oil change, laundry & packing before we go to LA. Oh yeah & I need to get my mil a gift too!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:47 am

Well done Linda on the ice cream! Unrelated to that it sounds like a great day

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:50 pm

Yes, good job on resisting the ice cream! It sounds like you will have a busy next few days!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 6:19 am

Thanks eschano & heather!

I'm exhausted. The girls are doing good actually but it's just exhausting trying to keep the house clean while their constantly running in & out with all their friends. As soon as I clean up the kitchen from one meal, it's practically time for the next. I actually told one of Talia's friend today she couldn't have a snack because I just didn't want anyone near the finally clean kitchen.

I'm completely burnt out on being social. I forgot how exhausting it is trying to get to know new people. I just feel so awkward sometimes! My neighbor invited us over tomorrow and I really don't want to go. I'm going to force myself though because it'll give me a chance to finally meet some of our neighbors. Oh boy then a nice long break from being social hopefully!

Break: pancakes, 1 chicken sausage, 1/2 piece of bacon, mocha (sleepover food)
Lunch: Asian salad, chips & guacamole, iced tea
Dinner: fajitas, cheese & crackers, grapes, wine cooler

Exercise: none--so bummed I didn't squeeze it in today.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:35 am

I completely understand about keeping up with the house and kids during Summer break! It's tough! As for being social, I understand that, also. It's okay for short periods, but after awhile, I need to get away and recharge. I hope your get together with your neighbor goes okay.

Heather

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:46 pm

Hi Linda,

Totally understand about the thing about not wanting socialize. I found out through a personality test once that I was an introvert, which sort of surprised me until I truly understood the definition. It's not that I don't like people, but being introverted means that I don't get my energy from being around them. So basically, I re-energize by being alone. Sounds like it could be a similar situation for you- if only just for the time being.

Hope you can find some peace (and maybe some alone time) in your day today.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 5:11 am

Linda--since I'm traveling I don't have my usual check-in routine to read threads. I just popped on tonight and, not surprisingly, have been seeing your wise and encouraging and honest posts peppering the check-in threads. You're pretty amazing. You take care of all of us.... and so here's a wish that you have a little rest and relaxation yourself. Maybe it's about time for that day at the spa, a massage, pedicure, and facial?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 6:39 am

Thanks heather, worth & auto!

Worth--that's me to the tee exactly. I remember reading that too & it clicked for me. I'm not shy or a total loner so never thought of myself as an introvert. But I need lots of down time sprinkled with a little socializing. Otherwise I feel overstimulated & drained.

Unfortunately after today being a total loner sounds like a pretty good option. My neighbor had a friend over & we hung out while the kids played. The moms were nice enough but wow our values & beliefs are so different from mine that there's no way we'd ever be able to be close friends. Living in Az I'm used to people having very different beliefs/viewpoints than me but when they start gay-bashing & stuff, it's just more than I can take.

It's okay though, the girls had fun & at least I gave it a shot. I will probably have to reciprocate at some point though? Or maybe I can just invite the daughter? Ugh, I dunno.

Auto--yes a spa day sounds incredible. My girls are both going to sleepover camp for 1 week so I think I'm going to book myself an appt.

Break: oatmeal w cream, fruit
Lunch: turkey sandwich, macaroni salad, fruit salad
Dinner: steak fajita, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, nectarine
(Minor fail) rest of daughters nectarine plus stole a couple tastes of ice cream as I was serving it)

Exercise: 14 mins row; 14 mins floor exercises

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:59 pm

Linda,

I also know that feeling too- where it's clear, early on, that values don't match.

This is a hard one- If you can overcome the power of reciprocity, I would say just have the daughter over. This is a part of looking after yourself since if you have the neighbor (and friend) over at your place, it will DRAIN you.

Here's to the upcoming sleepover camp! You will be better than ever when you pick the girls up after that week. Until then, try and steal some moments- an hour here and there.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:46 am

Yeah I think I'll leave it with an invitation for the daughter. I didn't get the sense she was interested in being bffs or anything but rather just being neighborly so I'm not going to worry about it.

Had a fun day & ready for our whirlwind trip tomorrow. We're going to LA to surprise my MIL for her bday. I'm so excited because she has no clue & has been a bit down lately.

Hopefully, the house sitter won't set the alarm off this time!

Break: cereal w fruit, mocha
Lunch: grilled chicken sandwich, fries
Dinner: cup of soup, big seafood salad, 2 glasses wine, piece of bread

Exercise:14 mins

Didn't have time to comment on anyone's threads but hopefully after this weekend!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 12:49 pm

Have a great trip! I'm sure your MIL will be absolutely delighted to see those girls (and her son and wonderful DIL, too, of course!).

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:17 am

Linda, I hope you have a great trip!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 4:14 am

Thanks heather & auto!

I don't think I've ever been so happy to be home. Not because of the trip, which was awesome, but because of the long drive. My MIL was beyond happy. This was her first bday with her husband in a nursing home & she was having a hard time. On top of that her brother, whose a total jerk in my IMO, hasn't been very supportive of her during this tough time even though they're normally very close.

Anyway she was in tears when we unexpectedly showed up on her doorsteps. We brought her gifts, homemade cards from the girls & his sister brought a cake and champagne. We all had a slumber party at DHs sisters house and we surprised them with matching pjs for everyone--even the dog!

My eating was good--three meals plus desserts and plenty of cocktails. We did a lot of walking and it made me realize that maybe my gaining a lot of weight when I moved to AZ wasn't a complete coincidence. There's just something about LA that makes me want to go jogging & drink smoothies for breakfast. I also drank coffee w nothing but lowfat milk and it was fine actually. I think I'd like to move away from my daily mochas at some point.

Break: bagel w lox & cream cheese, berries, coffee w milk
Lunch: chips & a mocha (road food!)
Dinner: big plate of Mexican food, horchata

Exercise: walk

Edited: because it's dangerous to type when exhausted apparently. (Lotsa typos)

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:05 am

Hi Linda! What a wonderful surprise - it sounds like the best weekend! Just brilliant and I love the matching pyjamas.

I like your insight about walking and breakfast smoothies.

As for your neighbours who sound like from a former century: I would bite the bullet and extend an invite to them too. You don't have to be friends but you do need to get on if you're staying there for a long time. The beauty about communities and democracy for that matter is not that we all have the same values but that we can find a way of living with people with different values. And you might be surprised by some of their more likeable qualities you haven't yet discovered. Anyways, acquaintances is now an outdated word but one I love because every full live needs acquaintances as well as friends to challenge us and provide a support network beyond friends. You can support each other with the girls for example. Just a thought.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 3:58 am

Thanks eschano. It's good to get a different perspective. I hope I didn't sound like I can't be friends (or acquaintances) with anyone that has different values than me. I wouldn't have too many friends if that were the case.

It's hard to explain the challenges our family faces being in the minority without getting into tricky religious/political territory but suffice it to say I'm surrounded by a good deal of ignorance combined with righteousness & it's a dangerous combo. I have to protect myself with reasonable boundaries or I'll just walk around pissed off all the time. I will of course be friendly & kind to her but choose not to hang out with her nonetheless.

Okay, anyway here's my day:

Break: oatmeal, fruit, coffee w milk & sugar
Lunch: salad, a shrimp roll, berries
Dinner: broccoli chowder, blt sandwich, berries, glass of milk

Exercise: none :/

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 4:31 am

lpearlmom wrote:It's hard to explain the challenges our family faces being in the minority without getting into tricky religious/political territory but suffice it to say I'm surrounded by a good deal of ignorance combined with righteousness & it's a dangerous combo. I have to protect myself with reasonable boundaries or I'll just walk around pissed off all the time. I will of course be friendly & kind to her but choose not to hang out with her nonetheless.

I think for me living in a pretty relaxed and cosmopolitan city in Australia it can be hard to imagine the cultural leap you have made when moving to your current home. Your boundaries sound very reasonable - you'll be neighbourly, but you know that you'll never be BFFs.

I am a bit wary of making an effort with those who wouldn't extend the same courtesy to me, if you know what I mean? To me respect and tolerance needs to work both ways for a positive acquaintanceship to develop.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:58 am

Your menu looks great! What was in your shrimp roll? I love most seafood.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:05 am

Oh Linda, sorry if it came across like this! I didn't mean to imply that at all!

Just wanted to state a different perspective. I grew up in a town just like what you are describing and not having a choice of moving away until I was older I had to get on with people and I have to say that over the years we found common ground, despite their despicable political views (like extreme anti-gay views for example). We fought a lot but over time I also realised that they, and this might be very different from the guys in your town, actually didn't act according to their views. So e.g. gays are the worst of the worst but I would bring my gay friends to parties anyways and they would be the "exception to the rule" - so they basically just didn't know any gay people and whenever I introduced one it was like "gays are horrible people except for XXX because he's just a lovely guy". BS like that you know. I was just wondering if it's possible your neighbours have big views that are just ignorant rather than based on their experience.

So I am changing my home town's view one gay friend/ one darker skinned friend / one liberal friend / one self-respecting woman friend at a time. A bit of a tedious task that takes infinite patience with ignorant people but I wouldn't be able to cut them out of my life. That said - as you can - it is infinitely easier to do that

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 5:49 pm

Thx for your understanding iron!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:13 am

Linda, That sounds like a great plan!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 4:25 am

Thanks so much heather! Oh and the shrimp roll is really like a spring roll. I get it from trader joes and it comes with pb sauce. So good but not sure if you have a trader joes near you.

Had a good busy day today. Took the girls to the waterpark with some friends they've known since pre-school. Was so nice to be around people with whom I'm comfortable.

Break: zucchini bread, berries w Greek yogurt, iced coffee
Lunch: crispy chicken sandwich, fries, fruit
Dinner: pulled pork sandwich, bowl of lobster bisque w piece of bread

Kind of overdid it with dinner but not too bad.

Exercise: ran around the waterpark for 3 hrs

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:12 am

Sounds like a brilliant plan Linda! And yum - your food

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:55 am

Thanks eschano!

Break: 2 pancakes, zucchini bread, watermelon
Mocha
Lunch: BLT sandwich, watermelon, yogurt
Dinner: roast pork w maple glaze, salad, applesauce, bread
Summer cocktail x 2

Exercise: 14 mins row

My MIL is coming tomorrow for 4 days & then we have friends coming next week w their 3 mos baby for 3 days. Looks like I'll get to practice my hostessing skills!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 7:40 am

Linda, I do have a Trader Joes near me, so I will definitely look for shrimp rolls! Boy, it really does look like you'll get to practice your hostess skills!

Heather

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jul 06, 2014 4:13 pm

Linda, when is your 1-yr NoS anniversary? It must be close close close!

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:49 pm

Hi Linda

I am back posting again and was enjoying catching up with your thread. We started about the same time and your journey has always encouraged me so much. You have always supported me and so many others on this board with your kindness, insight and wisdom. I hope you look back on this year with some pride. Your progress has been awesome - just like you

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:54 pm

I hope you're doing well!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jul 15, 2014 6:22 pm

Weigh: 203.1

Thanks for checking on me heather! Things have been a little crazy with back to back house guests and then over the weekend we drove the girls to camp which was a six hour drive each way.

Tessy so good to see you back here and thank you for the kind words. I definitely need them today!

Auto, you're right Aug 1st will make it a year on NoS. It's been an interesting year. I'm proud of myself for sticking with NoS with not many fails & only a couple of weeks of trying something else. The fact that I no longer obsess about food 24/7 is a miracle in itself.

Unfortunately losing weight just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me. I have a lot of weight to lose so I thought in the beginning it would come off at least somewhat easily. I think I did lose some weight but since I didn't weigh myself for so long I can't really be sure.

Either way I'm definitely not losing weight now & I'm pretty frustrated. I did have two minor fails while our friends were visiting & haven't been exercising consistently but I'm still disappointed that I still weigh so much after following nos so faithfully.

Part of me wants to give up but I don't know what else to do so I guess I'll just keep on keeping on. My goal for this next month is to focus on the following:

1) be more consistent with my exercise. 14 mins m, w, f & 28 mins tues/th
2) weigh daily
3) sugar-free mochas & iced tea during the week.

Okay deep breath & onward.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:10 am

Break: yogurt w cereal, fruit & nuts
Lunch: double veg burger, chips & dip, blueberries
Dinner: plate of Vietnamese food, 2 glasses wine, iced coffee (fail)

14 mins row

I think I have to come to terms with the fact that I can't lose weight without a little suffering & deprivation I think I was trying to get around that unpleasant fact. Oh well.

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Wed Jul 16, 2014 4:45 am

Hi Linda. This is so frustrating for you. I really understand. But I feel very confident for you that weightloss will come. This has been a year of establishing habit and you have been awesomely good at doing so. Now I think you are right. You need to tweak. Quite possibly only a little, and weight will start to shift. You can do this while staying on habit I am sure. I am totally supporting you. Hang in there.
Tessy

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 2:37 am

204.2 really?!

Thank you Tessy! I guess we both need encouragement at the moment.

I switched to smaller plates today. Not so bad!

Break: oatmeal w fruit, toast w jam,
Iced sugar-free mocha
Lunch: bean taco, nf yogurt, nectarine
Dinner: miso glazed cod, sesame brown rice w cabbage, cherries

Lotsa of unsweetened iced tea today! Thank goodness I found a good brand. Definitely helped me get through the day.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:56 am

Hey Linda! Sounds like you've had a busy time with all your socialising! That 204 could just be the extra salt in the Vietnamese food, I wouldn't get too focussed on it.

I don't know about suffering, but I do think slow, steady steps towards moderation are needed for most of us. It can be easy to believe that No S is some kind of "magic", rather than just a system for making it easier to implement moderation. Unfortunately for us, the laws of thermodynamics still apply (doh!).

I think getting rid of sugary mochas is a good step, and perhaps eventually leaving fancy coffee drinks for the weekend will happen...who knows? It's very easy to drink a lot of energy without feeling very satisfied.

I really like the podcasts on tweaks and mods (Podcasts 35 to 37), if you haven't already listened to or read them. Particularly #36 is great for thinking about what changes to make and how long to apply them before deciding if they help or not. Also gives the reassurance that I've always had - if things go haywire, just go back to vanilla.

You've got a great habit that you've developed, so build on that.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Jul 17, 2014 10:22 am

Hi Linda,

a resounding yes to ironchef's advice. You'll be fine, I'm sure of it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 5:28 am

Thanks for the encouragement iron & eschano. All I can do is try but there's no guarantee that my body will cooperate.

Today was good.

Break: vegan muffin, nf yogurt, nectarine, sugar free mocha
Lunch: veg burrito, baked chips, nf dip
Dinner: beef stroganoff over noodles w peas, toast, glass of wine

Exercise: walked dogs, stretching

I was starving by dinner & thought for sure I wouldn't be satisfied w a smaller plate but surprisingly it was more than enough. I guess maybe I don't need as much food as I thought.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:14 am

Linda, I understand your frustration with losing weight. I have slowly but surely lost weight over the past 3 years, but it has been VERY hard, and I've had lots of setbacks along the way. I think smaller plates and more consistent exercise will definitely help.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:55 am

Thanks heather! I hope so! I'm feeling super discouraged. A whole year of skipping desserts, passing up on afternoon snack with my girls, saying no to samples at Costco. For what? And will I ever lose weight? It's one thing when you're close to your goal weight but quite another when you've got at least 40 lbs to lose.

Just needed to vent I guess.

On the upside I'm staying at a hotel in Palm Springs tonight so I can be close to the girls camp as I have to pick them up tomorrow morning. I decided to stay at a place w a spa so I could treat myself to a massage. I didn't realize quite how fancy the place was however. When I got there they greeted me with a glass of wine & told me I had been upgraded to a villa.

Wow, it's truly beautiful & I have this huge place to myself. Wish DH was here to enjoy w me but he has to work. Oh well I got room service, drank wine & now I'm going to take a bath. I feel a little guilty but still determined to enjoy myself. Can't wait to see my kids tomorrow!

Weight: 203.1

Break: cereal, fruit, coffee w milk
Lunch: Big Mac, small fries, d coke (road food)
Dinner: Caesar salad w salmon, tiny gelato (fail)
Glass of wine

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 4:51 am

((HUGS)), Linda. I still have 25ish pounds to go, to reach my goal weight. I think you will get there, and I do think No S is the sanest way to do it. Your spa night sounds absolutely wonderful! I would have had some gelato, too, if I were there.

Heather

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:09 am

Oh dear Linda. I am so sad for you. It is sooooo frustrating to not see any weight loss after all of your hard work and your willingness to commit to personal change. I really think that now you have your habits established you can pay closer attention to your actual plates and you may only need some smallish tweaks for weight to start to fall off. I think back over your earlier posts and it was such an achievement to get your habits established. You worked so hard and have been such a powerful example to all of us. Maybe not weigh every day - this can be a bit misleading I think, but weighing weekly or twice weekly is less pressure and a bit more uplifting. Just a thought. I know you can crack this. You are one of the main reasons I have kept trying noS. Not because you have lost loads of weight. But because you have changed your relationship with food. That is awesome. Hang in there.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jul 20, 2014 6:32 pm

Hi Linda! Awesome about the spa and massage!

And about the weight--grrrr. I feel your pain. As you often say.... onward.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:51 am

Erasing this post as I realize I'm not up for having it picked apart. Was more just wanting to state what was going on with me at the moment.

Anyway taking a breather but will return when have things figured out. Thx for everyone that's been so supportive.

Linda

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:03 am

Deleting my response.
I'm really sorry I made you feel picked apart.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:25 am

Hi Linda,

Big hug! Just wanted to express support.

Not gaining a huge amount is also a victory, isn't it?

x

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:58 pm

Hi Linda. I shall miss you so much. Come back soon x

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 8:58 pm

Thank you guys & sorry for being so dramatic. Just need to let things percolate for a bit.

No worries iron. I know you meant well. Besides I shouldn't post stuff if I'm not ready for feedback on it. Clearly I'm not!

Eschano it's not enough unfortunately.

I'll Check back soon!

Linda

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:59 pm

Thanks Linda, as my husband would say, you're an absolute gem.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 7:13 am

Linda, Take care of yourself. I'll miss seeing your posts.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 3:22 pm

I'm sorry things have not been going well. I hope you find your way.

Skelton · Post by **Skelton** » Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:27 pm

Linda, just wanted to say hello.
I've been away from the board for a few weeks and your thread was one of the ones I was looking forward to catching up on.
I really hope you're taking care of yourself and things are going better.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:48 am

Thanks so much iron, heather, dandelion & skeleton for the well wishes.

All is well. The last couple of days have been hectic as the girls go back to school tomorrow and we've been running around getting everything ready for them.

I told myself to just forget about any & all rules for awhile and it was definitely a relief. The first day I went a bit crazy but things quickly settled down and my weight has stayed the same (at least as of last weigh-in a few days ago). It seems it's pretty hard to influence my weight at this point so I just came up with a general plan for health & pleasure.

Exercise: 30 mins aerobic exercise (swim, walk or row) & 15 mins weights--5x/wk

Breakfast: cereal w fruit or yogurt parfait w fruit & granola; large coffee
Lunch: sandwich w soup or chips & dip
Snack: smoothie or froyo (optional)
Pre-dinner snack (while cooking): glass of wine & handful of nuts
Dinner: family meal (I have a six wk rotating menu)
Dessert: 3-4 cookies w glass of milk (optional)

Weekends: big breakfast--pancakes w bacon, or waffles w sausage etc;

I realized what I wanted from nos most was to have some sort of normalcy with my eating & while I did get that, it also sucked the joy out of eating too for me. It's like when you take drugs for certain emotional disorders. It's good because it takes away the extreme lows but can leave you feeling kind of flat taking away the good emotions along with the bad.

I know a lot of ppl feel like nos helps them enjoy food more but for some reason didn't work that way for me. I felt myself rushing through my meals anxious to get to the waiting part. Sounds counterintuitive I know. I guess as long I was in that moment of waiting, I knew I could handle it but thinking about getting to that moment made me feel uncomfortable. Confusing, I know.

Anyway I think the bottom line is that I need to feel free. I'm a grown up, I should be able to make reasonable choices about my eating on a day to day basis. That's where I am with all this right now. It's definitely not NoS so not sure if I should continue to post here. It's a wonderful place to get my thoughts down but don't want to upset/offend anyone.

I'm nervous about my girls starting school tomorrow. I hope they like their teachers & have a good yr. I'll have more time during the day but have to deal w morning rush, homework blues & taking them to all their after-school activities.

I have decided to take an online interior design certificate program. It sounds kind of cheesy but at least it's something. I'm ridiculously excited to be using my brain again! We went out to dinner recently w my husbands new partner & his wife. They're a bit younger than us & have no kids so she was asking me questions about my favorite authors and thoughts on politics and I really wasn't able to express myself as intelligently as I used to be able. I'm so used to discussing kids or everyday stuff with other moms.

I realized how much of myself I've lost to motherhood and want to start having some other interests. I felt pretty lame talking to her. She's a scientific researcher. Super smart, interesting and nice. It probably didn't help that I drank way too much. DH was nice enough not to day anything. Oh well, we're having them over this weekend so I'll have another chance. No drinking this time!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 10:13 am

Linda, please don't leave. You're such a wonderful part of this community and your eating journey is just as interesting. If people don't like it - they can skip your thread

Very exciting about the interior design course. I can see you being creative! You'll excel in it.

And good luck for the first school day - I'm sure it will be fine.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 11:00 am

Great to hear from you, sounds like you're in a really good place. Very excited about the course - sounds like a good fit for you with your creativity (judging from your gorgeous photography!).

Absolutely keep posting if you feel like it - there is such a range here (from bite counting to intuitive eating) and I think that is a great strength of the board. Everyone here is finding their own way of eating and the path looks different for everyone. One day someone who is struggling might read your thread and be inspired to keep looking for the WOE for them!

Edited to add: I feel your pain on the "mommy topics" thing. It is an age since I went to a film or a concert or even spent time reading in depth news and current affairs. But hey, I can get a 2 year old to wear pants! And sometimes even socks. Yup, I haz skillz

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Aug 06, 2014 12:02 pm

Yes, please don't leave. I think, in terms of eating, you have to do what works for you. That is great, about your interior design course! I definitely understand what you mean, about not being up on politics and current events, because of being busy being a mother. I'm in the same position, and my BA degree is in Political Science.

That is great that you are focusing on something that interests you! I know there are days when getting to go to my band rehearsal and being around other grown ups with a common interest is literally my saving grace for the day.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 6:09 am

Thank you eschano! Your support means a lot to me and I appreciate the compliment. You really lifted my spirits!

Thank you iron for the support & the sweet compliment about my photos. Your comment about mothering totally cracked me up. I guess I just have to remind myself that me and this other woman are just in very different places in our lives.

Thanks so much for the support & encouragement heather. It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling like motherhood has taken over my brain. I love the fact that you have such a passion for music & am hoping to find a similar type of creative outlet w my interior designing hobby.

Today was good although I'm still not totally sure what the heck I'm doing with my eating. It's confusing and yes I'd love to stick around and try to sort all this out so appreciate nobody giving me the boot (yet).

Break: cereal w fruit; mocha
Lunch: veg & avocado sandwich; corn roasted soup; iced tea
Snack: couple of crackers w cheese; peaches; green tea frappuccino
Dinner: Korean steak; grilled veggies; rice

Exercise: 15 mins walked dogs; 30 mins row; 15 mins light weights

Been having a lot of back pain upon waking & not sure what to do but am hoping getting back in shape w regular exercise will help.

On side note my girls had a great first day--yay! My youngest daughter told me she her friend thinks god puts babies in mommies stomachs & my daughter said " um there's a very scientific explanation for that but I don't want to be the one to tell you about it". I don't understand why parents don't educate their children about these things!

Okay it's late but hoping to catch up on everyone's threads tomorrow !

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 1:58 pm

Quick update: weighed 206.4 today. Not good but made me realize that nos may have been working better for me than I previously thought. Since I've only been weighing for a few mos, it's quite possible my starting weight was much higher than I thought when I first started. So back to the drawing board. I need to decide if the pros of nos outweigh the cons.

Why do I always have to learn everything the hard way?!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 3:15 pm

Hi Linda! Glad to see your check-in.

It might be that you were only losing a pound or two a month on NoS. As you know, that's all that I've lost. And so my clothes have remained the same--I never got to go buy a smaller size! And in all my time doing NoS, I have had only 2 people ask if I've lost weight..... so it's quite possible that your weight loss was small and not obvious. Weirdly, I think that is both a pro and a con for NoS!

Pro--slow is better; con--slow sucks! LOL

Re: Talia knowing the facts of life. My 8yo knows, and we started discussing it in answer to his questions when he was probably only 4 or 5 (I stuck to how the embryo and fetus develop--it wasn't until his questions became more specific when he was about 6 or 7 that we explained, briefly and scientifically, how the sperm actually meets up with the egg. Anyway, it's been pretty natural around here, and he still has no embarrassment about any of it yet. We've covered puberty pretty thoroughly already, too.

I am writing a long response to Talia's funny comment because I am having a hard time finding other parents that have explained much to their kids. Two of my sister-in-laws have told me they have kids (12, 10, and eight) that know, in their words, "nothing" about these topics. They really want to preserve their kids' innocence. I guess I can respect that, but it makes me worried that I've told my kids too much. Am I corrupting them or something, I sometimes fear. So your post encouraged me more than you know!

Wow, I just wrote a novel on your thread. See how happy I am to see you posting again?

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 4:16 pm

Thank you so much for your response auto! I think you're right about the slow weight loss. I wish I had weighed myself in the beg so I could stay a lil more motivated along the way. Oh well lesson learned. Time to re-group.

I think it's great you've been so open with your boys. When I first had my girls I went to a class about how to talk to your kids about sex at our local jcc. The lecturer said that when your child asks a questions he/she is ready for the answer. So what you've been doing sounds right on target. Zoe asked where babies come from when she was 5. I gave her a very technical answer & we've discussed things as they come up along the way. My girls also have very good detailed books about sex/puberty for kids.

I think it's dangerous not talking about these things. It's their body & they have a right to know about it. Besides wanting to protect their innocence assumes that they is something bad about sex. It's only bad when people engage in sexually abusive ways. Which brings me to my next point, kids that are ignorant about their bodies are more susceptible to sexual abuse.

So you're doing a great job by keeping an open communication with your sons. Besides if you don't start young, it probably becomes very awkward to finally talk about it when they're older.

Okay now I wrote a novel!

Linda

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:12 pm

Interesting topic - I'm a few years away from this still, but my son has a fascination with "how things work" so I expect some questions from him before too long.

On those who say their 12 year old "knows nothing", going by my own childhood, they probably have already got a fair bit of misinformation from their peers by that age.

To me, protecting your child from consuming too much advertising and reading good books to them go much further towards preserving "innocence" and extending childhood that keeping silent or refusing to answer questions on basic sex ed. But then, when I was growing up my Dad was a Human Biology teacher...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 08, 2014 5:47 am

Totally agree with you on all those points iron. My oldest daughters bf doesn't know about the birds & the bees yet and she keeps begging Zoe to tell her. Luckily Zoe's smart enough to tell her she needs to ask her mom about it instead.

Today was fine eating wise. I guess I'm doing nos again because I don't know what else to do at this point. Even if it's not exactly ideal, it may just have to be good enough.

Pre- workout: (I wake at 6 but don't eat till 9) banana
Break: cereal, w fruit, ww toast w jam, sugar-free mocha
Lunch: veg sandwich, soup, yogurt
(Had a bite of cheese & crackers because DH got his shipment from the cheese club).
Dinner: chicken curry over rice, 2 wine coolers

Exercise: 1 hr--walked dogs, rowing, weights

Really frustrating day as I found out my youngest daughter isn't in the upper English & math classes this year. Not sure why as she got all As & is in the 97th percentile for math according to our statewide test. She was one of the top readers last year and I was told she read better than an average 6th grader.

I tried talking to the teacher & principal but they were pretty firm. I really hate tracking even though i know it has some benefits. I just worry the kids get labeled and than always think of themselves as average or bad at math etc. I know I need to let this go but it's definitely bugging me.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:33 am

Weigh: 204.7

Pre-workout: banana
Break: cereal w fruit, a potato pancake
Lunch: chicken avocado burrito
Nf mocha
Dinner: chicken taco, rice & beans, chicken leg, couple pieces sushi, iced tea (weird combo I know!)

Made homemade granola tonight & had a couple nibbles. I'm realizing not being so strict w myself might help me with long term burn out.

Exercise: 1 hr total--walked dogs, rowing, weights

Funny because the mom down the street called me today about a school issue she wanted advice about & seems maybe she's not so bad. Yeah yeah I know eschano you were right.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Aug 09, 2014 3:33 pm

Linda, sorry to hear about the frustrating situation at school. I'm not sure how forthcoming the school was, but could you find out what the cut-off was for the advanced program? Maybe it is 98th percentile, and they are being reasonably fair--or maybe they have to score 97th percentile in both math and reading? Not sure....but I know that must be irritating because you want your kids to get pushed and learn as much as possible. I hope you can get to the bottom of it and find a resolution that works for your family.

And good job on your exercise--looks like you have "cross-training" built in!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:54 am

Sorry about your daughter not getting in to the program.

Your food and workouts look good!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 7:02 am

Thanks auto & heather!

Auto: I'm really starting to worry about my health & need to get in shape again!

. The principal was kind enough to give me a call on Friday & explain the situation in detail. Apparently our school did the best in the district on our tests last year. This is great but also means getting into top tier classes are more competitive.

So she was close but I guess didn't quite make the cut-off. I guess it's complicated why this is bugging me so much. Part if it is just my mommy ego rearing it's ugly head. I was so proud of her grades & test scores and I guess we just all wasn't to think our children our gifted right? Also, they had to have a teacher recommendation and the teacher who would have had to recommended her was the same one I complained about to the principal because she led a public prayer in school. So the paranoid part of me thinks this played into her decision making. And lastly, I just really hate the whole tracking thing. Oh well, it's fine. It really is.

Okay other than that good day. No overeating. We had company over and it went smoothly. Yay!

Skelton · Post by **Skelton** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:27 pm

Hi Linda, I was pleased to see your update. I lurk much more than I post, and I'd been following your thread since you started it. I identify with a lot of what you write about your struggles with food. Anyway, good to see you posting again.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 3:11 pm

Hey skeleton !

So happy you dropped by my thread. Yes I'm back. It seems I have to freak out every couple of months because the tediousness of being a rule-follower starts to feel unbearable at some point. I think my strict adherence may be problematic. When I read threads of other long timers, they seem to have regular small fails (even Reinhard ) and I'm realizing that may actually be a good thing for long-term compliance.

Thanks for checking in on me & not giving up on me! I hope to see more of you. Since it sounds like we have similar struggles, I'm sure we can learn a lot from each other.

Oh by the way, love your signature. It's SO true!!

Linda

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 5:09 pm

Well, if regular fails is typical for long-term compliance, I have joined good company--because my fails seem to be piling up lately!!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 7:18 pm

Hehe auto I meant to say that you were the exception but really if you're having a few more fails I think it's okay. For me I'm just wondering if the effort of having to be so perfect is leading to faster burn out but you've been really good about powering through the rough times.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 7:32 pm

Powering through--not so much! You know what I do? If I'm having a bad week, I just declare it an S Day! LOL, I have done that so many times. It's a good way to save face and not have to call it a fail!!!! I imagine we could plumb that psychology for awhile.....

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 8:06 pm

Well I think that's another good strategy too! Better than running off and trying to reinvent the wheel everytime you get discouraged like I do. Clearly I need to work in my all or nothing attitude.

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 10:54 pm

Hi Linda. You are back, that is so brilliant. I am so glad. We started the same time and you are doing so brilliantly. Hang in there. You are changing for life that means it gets wearisome and hard at times. I think you may need to cut yourself a little slack. Thanks for dropping by my thread. I am really struggling and it means a lot. Have a good week.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:09 pm

I really like vmsurbat's mantra "mark it and move on". I've always felt like just marking the red, then looking onward to the next meal or day was such a powerful thing - like I didn't have to get tied up in my failure.

These days, my goal is not so much to avoid red at all costs, as to avoid "what the hell" effect. Last week I had a coffee biscuit with a friend on an N day and I felt like that was a fail worthy S. Thing is, I know that the damage isn't done by one biscuit, it's done by me spending the rest of the afternoon and evening throwing up my hands and saying "fail". That's where I feel like No S (and the posters on this board) have given me a way out. On the days that I fail, but don't go WTH, it feels like a success

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:57 am

Yep iron avoiding the wth element is definitely key!

Tessy so happy to see you around. Let's just agree to keep struggling here together.

Ugh so I basically snacked right through my day today. I started the day off with granola & milk and ended it with cookies and milk. There was plenty in between including hummus, grilled veggies, chicken, rice & beans, chips & guacamole and plenty of peanut butter-oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies.

I'm back to cheering for Mondays but I doubt the scale is going to be very happy!

Skelton · Post by **Skelton** » Mon Aug 11, 2014 10:23 am

lpearlmom wrote: Yep iron avoiding the wth element is definitely key!

ha ha, that's me. My fails tend to be monumental because of the wth element. all or nothing thinking and perfectionism.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:34 am

Yeah that's tough skeleton. Maybe it's helpful to just get right back to it with the next meal instead of saying I'll start back tomorrow which is what I used to do.

Weigh: 206.4 (ugh)

Break: granola w milk & fruit, 1/2 bagel w cream cheese; tea w milk
Lunch: grilled chicken & veggies, hummus, chips, fruit
Snack: small froyo (planned fail)
Dinner: chicken paprikas w mashed potatoes; fruit; iced tea

Exercise: 1 hr total-walk, row, weights, stretch

Back to NoSpending days on mon & wens. Works nicely for me.

Book recommendations:
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simpson (so so good!)
The last letter from your lover and One plus One--both by jojo moyes

aspencer27 · Post by **aspencer27** » Tue Aug 12, 2014 12:57 pm

I love how we can have planned fails, and it's just like, ok, red day - who cares? Now, if we can just apply that thinking to our weight... Just a number to track, who cares? If we focus on the rules and don't beat ourselves up over it, things will trend in the right direction. It will take time, though, but guess what, we have plenty of time. You're doing great!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:23 am

Thank you aspencer! I really needed to hear that. Makes a lot of sense.

Weigh: 204.7

Break: cereal, fruit, toast, tea
Nf mocha
Lunch: sushi, yogurt, fruit
Dinner: chicken, rice, hummus, veggies, crackers, iced tea

Exercise: 40 mins walked, swam, weights

So exhausted. You'd think staying home would mean I was always rested & relaxed but I tend to schedule every second of the day & have very high expectations about what kind of food I prepare, & how clean my house should be since I "stay home". Oh well.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:26 am

Linda--you are so right about how hard you push yourself!!! That is why I found it astounding that you think of yourself as laid-back compared to your sister. From the couch I am lazily sitting on right now, you are a driven woman!

But good for you to acknowledge you are exhausted. May I suggest another spa day?

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:56 am

lpearlmom wrote:So exhausted. You'd think staying home would mean I was always rested & relaxed

Oh, this makes me

, in sympathy! When I get sick, everyone says "take a day off work", but I say "my work days are much easier on me than my days at home".

Very impressed with how much exercise you are fitting in!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:20 am

Thank you auto. You made me smile and I guess I'm not as lazy as I think I am. If you knew my sister though you'd understand. She's just extremely accomplished.

I'm glad you get it iron. When you're home there's always a never ending list to do! Also thanks I'm really to get in shape again. Even if I can't be thin, it doesn't mean I can't be fit!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:13 am

Linda,

Just catching up with your thread. Sigh...we never learn do we?

It was eye-opening for me when you talked about No S working in a way that you hadn't expected.

Love the story about where your daughter thinks babies come from! I have a little one (4 years old) that is ok with my generic answer now... but I know that I will have to give more info sooner than I think.

I just got a book from the library on Interior Design and am eating it up (excuse the pun)! I would love to hear how your class goes.

I will answer your question about changes I will make this time around on my thread-don't want to hijack yours.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 5:20 am

Hi worth it! Thanks for stopping by. Yeah ypu have a couple years to decide how you want to handle the issue with your little one. So complicated because I want to make sure they understand the emotional side of it too.

Anyway, excited that you're enjoying your interior design book. I find all things home related interesting. Maybe because I'm such a homebody! I'm doing a Use What You Have certificate course which is pretty cool because it's all about using what you already have but in ways that are more functional & aesthically pleasing. Much more practical for most ppl.

Today went well but again feeling completely exhausted & need to re-think my daily schedule. I think instead of having an hour by hour plan of what I'm going to do, I'm going to make a list of weekly things I'd like to get done. That way I can do them at a more relaxed pace instead of trying to cram in too much. I also think once my body adjust to exercising again, I'll. be less tired. I'm sure it's in a bit of shock right now.

Weigh: 204.7

Break:granola w milk & fruit, yogurt, tea
Lunch: salad, hummus, chips, nectarine, iced tea
Dinner: sour cream noodle bake, tomato salad w buttermilk dressing, bread, winex2

Exercise: 1 hr-walk, row, weights

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Thu Aug 14, 2014 7:57 am

HI Linda

I think when you change your routine and bring in more exercise it is always very tiring to start with. I am trying to up my exercise and like noS it seems to be about habit again, I need to make it as natural as brushing my teeth, but unlike brushing my teeth it is often tiring. You are doing great, and for me a weekly list is always good, then at the end of the week look at what you have done and feel good, we do a lot that we do not notice! I always used to cross off things as I did them, but a student of mine converted me to putting a box at the side of each thing and then just ticking the box, looks less chaotic and also you can see more clearly what you have done . Although striking something through has its own emotional rewards

Hang in there

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 15, 2014 5:40 am

Thank you Tessy! Wrote a to-do list & it's not as large as I imagined.

Today was more relaxed although stressful in other ways. My neighbor called me about a letter I wrote to the school and things got pretty heated. Funnily My daughter came home and told me my neighbors daughter is being really possessive of her and telling her not to be friends with other kids etc. seems both the mother & daughter have some boundary issues!

I did manage to smooth things over a bit in an email and we agreed to disagree. Ugh I'll just kill her with kindness I guess.

Break: nf mocha, turkey bacon breakfast sandwich
Lunch: chicken paprika, rice, salad, iced tea
Dinner: seafood gumbo (yum!), rice, yogurt, grapes, wine
Minor fails: 3 extra grapes, too many tastes of sauce

Exercise: rest day

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 16, 2014 4:57 am

So I feel like I've come full circle with my approach to NoS. Originally I came to NoS for sanity and that's exactly what I got. Freedom from obsessing about food & weight. It's only when I started to focus on my weight that things seem to go awry.

So I'm back to focusing on habits. I'm glad I know how much I weigh but I'm not going to weigh myself on a regular basis. It's pretty clear that I only gain when I'm not doing NoS and I think I lost about 10 lbs this last year.

I already feel like I eat healthy well-balanced meals most of the time and now that I'm starting to exercise I feel like I'm doing a good job taking care of myself. So back to focusing on the habits & trust my weight to land where it should. No more trying to eat on smaller plates or eat low-fat or whatever. That kind of thinking just backfires on me.

Okay so that's where I'm at right now but of course reserve the right to change my mind tomorrow.

Break: cereal, fruit, hummus (weird craving ) crackers, nf mocha
Lunch: shrimp rolls, chicken salad w pb dressing, grapes, iced tea
Dinner: hamburger, fries, iced tea (night off of cooking!)

Exercise: 50 mins-walk, row, weights

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Sat Aug 16, 2014 6:51 am

Hi Linda. You are so inspiring for me. I really relate to your journey. I think you are right. You did brilliantly this year and your focus should remain on habits. It's because you keep reminding me it is about habit that I keep going in the face of difficult fails. Because I have seen you settle and establish brilliant steady habit. It always gives me hope. Your exercise is really going to benefit you so much. Good luck with it and a personal thank you from me. You are a star

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 1:45 am

Linda,

After having just returned to No S three days ago from yet another diet, I second your thoughts about having a real sanity with food. In fact, today, I had no obsession with food, when during my recent diet, food was all that I thought about. While I'm sure it won't always be this easy, the fact that No S lessens these thoughts, obsessions, etc. is good enough for me.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 17, 2014 4:19 am

Thank you Tessy. You're too kind! I'm so glad to see you sticking it out. I'd be sad to see you go so I hope you stick around no matter what path you decide to take.

I know it's true worth it! Just like there's no such thing as a perfect marriage the lasting ones tend to be "good enough". Not very romantic, but realistic! NoS may not be romantic but it's built for longevity is pretty great.

today was pretty good eating wise.

Break: sour cream pancakes w bacon, mocha
Lunch: tomato salad w toast, iced tea
Snack: sushi
Dinner: sliders, casserole, iced tea
Dessert: small bowl of ice cream

Some where along the way: several pieces of taffy, two small pieces of chocolate.

Okay was kind of a lot but I'm not stuffed to the gills or anything.

Onward!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:00 am

Break: granola w milk & fruit, scrambled eggs
Lunch: guacamole & chips, iced tea
Dinner: hamburger, tater tots, iced tea
Extras: 2 taffy, 1 piece of chocolate

Overdid it a bit today but not too much.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Aug 18, 2014 9:15 am

Delighted Linda! Sounds like a great plan! I'm at the same stage. Vanilla NoS focused on habits only and my looking-after-myself and adventure systems for the time being.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:51 am

Yay eschano! Seems like the sanest way to approach all this.

Break: cereal, toast w pb, tea
Lunch: Asian chicken salad, toast, yogurt
Nf mocha
Dinner: bacon grilled cheese ( dhs speciality!), olives, applesauce, chips
Worthy fail: 1 snicker doodle that my girls made all by theirselves. They were so proud!

Exercise: 50 mins-walk, row, weights (woohoo! I'm super proud!)

It's eat from the pantry week which means no grocery shopping & creative cooking. I love it!

Was such a nice day. Girls were both in good moods & being so kind to each other--yay!

I'm feeling good today because I finally opened up a college fund for my girls. Better late than never! It's a huge relief as we've been meaning to do this forever.

The last few days have been rough because of an incident w my neighbor. In my attempt to make our school more inclusive I made a suggestion that we change the name of one of the several Xmas events at my school to something more neutral. Well she got wind of this and called me up to chew me out. She told me that if we start accommodating everyone, we'll have to accommodate the "wiccans & the atheists" too. She accused me of trying to destroy the moral fiber of the school.

It would be laughable except for she's put me in a terribly awkward situation. We are neighbors & I have to see her everyday just about. Also our daughters are friends so I may have to endure play dates & bday parties w her. It's unbelievable but it also brought up all these bad feelings about why I'm always starting these conflicts in the first place and why I seem to sabotage so many of my relationships. I know it goes back to my youth but ugh I'm so dang sick of analyzing everything. I just know I don't want to be this abrasive, difficult person anymore.

I found this quote today & this is how I'm feeling about it all:

â€œYou can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f**k on.â€
â€• Tupac Shakur

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:51 am

Hi Linda. One the things that I have really admired about you as I have read your threads over the last year is your courage in standing up for things you believe in. I don't call that an abrasive personality I call that a principled personality. I always think it is important to be able to look myself in the eye each morning. You are also very thoughtful and reflective, so I am sure you will find a way to smooth your relationship with your neighbour. You made your point, you know you are trying to enhance not destroy the moral fibre of your school. But now perhaps, either seek out like minded friends who think as you do, or accept that nothing will change this time but speaking out is important, and also staying steady with your neighbours is too. So some gentle bridge building perhaps. But above all do not take this and make yourself feel bad. You are not!!! Mark it and move on perhaps

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:19 am

Thank you Tessy for the generous interpretation.

I guess standing up for things is just in my blood. My parents were activists in the 60s. My mom even marched with Martin Luther king in Alabama when she was 6 mos pregnant w my sister. Pretty cool!

I think my deal is I just need to be a little more level- headed. I'm too quick to anger & it's like I'm constantly ready for battle. I'm also too quick to cut ppl out of my life. A lot to work on I guess!

Not giving up the issue with the school. DH & I are meeting with the principal Friday to at least bring awareness to the situation. But not every fight is worth fighting & I need to learn how to tell the difference.

Well today it rained like crazy which makes us desert dwellers very happy! Everyone seems excited & energetic so was kind of a fun day. On the downside I discovered moths in our pantry & threw about 90% of everything out! I wiped everything down w bleach & really hope I got rid of them. Ick!

Oh and had to abandon eat out of the pantry week. I am not putting bugs on the menu!

Break: pb toast, yogurt & granola
Lunch: veg burrito, beans, chips, grapes
Dinner: fish burrito, chips & guacamole

Exercise: 50 mins-row, walk, weights (yay me!)

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 7:21 am

Hi Linda. I think you are right, sometimes we need to look at ourselves and change what we are uncomfortable with. That is not being self critical and harsh, just growing and changing as we go through life. I think you are a principled woman and that should not change, but if you feel you sometimes over react and you do not like that, then that is a good place to start gently moderating yourself

it is hard not to be constantly ready for battle when so much in life feels wrong and downright unjust. Glad you are not giving up on the school, but as you say be ready to let go when the 'fight' becomes too costly, there will be plenty of other battles to win I'm sure

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 9:00 am

I Linda, how cool is your mum, eh?

I think it's great that you have opinions and stand up for them. May I ask out of curiosity why this Christmas issue is so important for you? Do you feel your or other kids feel excluded?