Linda's daily check-in

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:13 am

Ooo, moths and moth larvae totally creep me out. My Dad used to raise meal worms to feed to the birds and it really used to freak me out if I opened the wrong tub of oats. *shudder*

I think it is great that you are trying to get the school to think a little more about how they do their events, but I'm sorry it has caused friction with your neighbour. I had some relatively devout non-Christian friends at school and a lot of the stuff that our school did around Easter and Christmas made them feel pretty uncomfortable and excluded. Even if you don't get any change, you never know who is quietly watching and feels a little bit better knowing you thought about it and gave it a go.

I don't see this type of thing as abrasive, I believe thoughtful, principled speech and action by the people is the backbone of any strong democracy. But then, I'm biased because I have an activist mother as well and a father who was a student activist in apartheid South Africa. It's in my blood.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 2:22 pm

Linda,

You had me at quoting Tupac! Then you went onto say about how you cut people out of your life too quickly, and then about analyzing too much... I just wanted to say that I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL again. I have received the same feedback time after time. I will tell you there is hope in picking your battles, as I have been able to do this with a bit more control the past few years, but the urge is still there and is strong.

Ironically, I think you are "simmering down" though- at least with No S. You are not making an entire day a failure with a bite outside of a meal here and there, or letting an unplanned cookie turn your day upside down. The moderation is there and will, no doubt, trickle into other areas of your life.

You are still sooooo LA- gotta love Tupac.

Over43 · Post by **Over43** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:00 pm

Instead of changing the name of Christmas (I can write the whole word...), and those events, why not add days to recognize Jewish holidays, Kwanza, Carl Sagan's birthday, and Richard Dawkins Day. I don't know a thing about Wicca so I am stuck there. Maybe Endora could be a guest speaker?

I get fired up pretty easily now more than I ever have. I live in a conservative/religious environment that is petty at best, oppressive at worst. I had parents who disrupted a class I taught because Fahrenheit 451 did not have "the spirit". A long time professor at a nearby university was turned in for showing porn. He was actually doing a slide show on Michelangelo and presented a slide of David.

I am sure, at the school, there are religious types who are level headed, and willing to compromise. Don't threaten what they think is sacred, but add to what they are doing, give and take. Most folks in the States probably haven't stepped inside a church in years, but mess with God and country...

Good luck with the whole thing.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:54 pm

Hi-

Just realized that I must have deleted a paragraph in my post to you by accident. I also wanted to say in my post was that unless their families are excluded, they can't understand what it feels like for you and your family to not have their holiday and beliefs recognized/supported by the school. I applaud you for standing up for you and your family- no matter the psychology behind it.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:16 pm

Wow thank you guys so much for all the amazing feedback. I should clarify that I'm not trying to eliminate all things Xmas by any means. This particular school just seems to have an excessive amount of Xmas activities and was just hoping for a little more balanced approach. They have candy cane lane, reindeer run, secret Santa, caroling, an Xmas sing-along w a teacher dressed as Santa then on top of it the teachers play Xmas music all day long for 2 weeks & hand out Xmas worksheets. It's just hard on my kids & the other jewish kids, Jehovah witnesses, and the Muslim kids.

These kids are being marginalized. Intentionally or not. I'm fine w a few Xmas events but shouldn't we use this as an opportunity to teach our children about diversity and a tolerance for differences? God knows there is enough hate in this world.

Thanks iron, so amazing about your parents and really appreciate that you seem to empathize with my point of view. I agree that this is a good reason to speak up. I'm more annoyed at myself for all the other times I feel the need to speak up. Do I really need to file a formal complaint every time a store clerk is rude to me? Probably not!

Hey 043 some crazy stuff we have to deal with! Actually I spoke to the head of HR yesterday who happened to be a forward thinking jewish woman from Chicago. Yay!!! Well, she seemed to recommend exactly what you suggested. Adding diversity & leaving their Xmas alone. God knows when they'll have time for academics but hey not a bad idea.

Worth it, you crack me up. I still stand by my tupac quotation. It was more a way for me to deal with all the regrets of my past. Things I said in haste, people I've cut off when I could have just let them be for a bit. I don't want to sit around mulling over the what ifs (as I tend to do) & beating myself up for past mistakes. I've made a lot but at least I've lived!

I do want to move forward with a more thoughtful, patient approach. If I could just think before I speak or better off give myself a 24 hr cool down period that'd be HUGE. So thanks for the encouragement. Maybe you could give me a few tips. Also, I really appreciate your comment about its hard to understand unless your the one being inundated with another persons beliefs.

Oh and I am in touch with another parent concerned with overtly religious happenings at the school. She's smarter than me though & doing it all anonymously with a non-profit lawyer. Her issue is a little different than mine but were both helping each other out as much as we can.

Also, forgot to say Tessy I did email my neighbor/nutcase and asked her if we could just agree to disagree. I also said how great it would be if we could be examples of tolerance for our girls. She agreed & then promptly started to go off again but I didn't respond to that part of her email as to end it. I see her every morning just about on my walk & she gives me a fake smile & wave. Yes I'm a little bitter! Anyway thank you for your continued confidence in me!

Okay phew I think that's everything!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 4:03 am

Breakfast: 2 waffles w pb & jam, tea
Lunch: 1/4 break sandwich, veggie burger, 2 pieces sushi (don't ask!)
Nf mocha
Dinner: sub sandwich, chips, pickle
Planned fail: minuscule bowl of ice cream (my olive bowl)--special ice cream was brought into the house.

Exercise: 50 mins--walk, row, weights (yay!!!)

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:12 am

Hmm. To be honest, I disagree with most of you.

I think you should offer to throw a massive Hanukkah party for everyone instead, teaching people about your religion. And other parents of other religions should do the same. And I would expect the school to support it.

In my experience it will only give you massive grief if you are fighting to dim someone's celebratory spirit. I am a massive fan of Christmas - it's my favourite time of the year, and I listen to songs whenever I can. Now, I'm not religious but it's a time that reminds me to be generous and loving to everyone and I have brilliant childhood memories, not least because of my school. (We didn't have a single non-Christian though, being from a rural town in a small, homogenous country).

Now, I was lucky to be invited to other people's different religious ceremonies before and loved it - I could learn to love and respect their traditions. However, if someone came along and said I should dim down my own traditions, I'd give them a good piece of my mind too because to me this is not inclusion. It's hard to be a minority, I get it, but it's not about the majority stopping their celebrations, it's about being encouraged/allowed to share your own. It is only discrimination/exclusion if that is not possible in my mind.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone! Just thought I'd share.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 10:35 am

I think this is one where we'll have to agree to disagree. One event out of many being re-named to something more neutral to me isn't dimming down the fun, it's just acknowledging that the season means different things to different people. I don't think the onus should be on marginalised groups to have to do extra work to educate or entertain.

ETA: apologies Linda for hijacking your check in!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:25 pm

Really appreciate all the great feedback. It's interesting to hear everyone's perspectives. I'd like to move on before anything gets too heated though.

I only brought it up because it was bringing up all these other issues for me & I tend to post about personal issues I'm working on. Since you specifically asked eschano why it was upsetting, I tried to answer as best I could. Just for the record I don't think anyone was necessarily agreeing that the name change idea was the best answer including myself as I don't know the answer. Rather I felt ppl were saying they understood it might be hard for my kids & they understood my desire to find a better solution. I really appreciate you giving your honest viewpoint (trust me you have plenty of support!) as well, but I hope we can leave it at that before things get ugly.

This place is a safe haven for me & I'd hate for that to change.

Iron, no need to apologize!

Have a great day all!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:43 pm

Of course Linda! I have no intention to make anything ugly. I just wanted to voice another point of view. I guess for me it's also because I lived in 6 different countries so I'm used to be the minority in one way or another (race, religion, nationality) that I have a different point of view than others.

Either way, I hope you find a solution that works for everyone!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 22, 2014 12:21 am

Girls driving me a little crazy today but otherwise a good day.

Break: scrambled eggs, toast, fruit, mocha
Lunch: sushi, yogurt, iced tea
Dinner: chicken w goat cheese & basil, peas, salad, bread, wine

Exercise; had ppl coming over this morning so took a rest day. Really miss the feeling of starting the day of right though so back at it tomorrow.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 5:39 am

Phew..what a day!

Had a good meeting with the principal. Without going into it too much, sounds like we're all on the same page so I'm feeling very comfortable with the situation.

On the downside, DH got rear-ended pretty hard. Thank god he's okay but his truck has some damage. Anyway, glad it's the weekend for sure.

Break: toast w jam, mocha
Lunch: bagel w cream cheese, cup of soup, mocha
Dinner: hamburger, fries, wine

Exercise: 50 mins-walk, row, weights, stretch

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 7:51 am

How scary about your DH being rear ended! I'm glad he's okay!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 10:04 am

Sorry to hear about the accident, glad that at least he is ok.

Really great that you had a good meeting with the school, though.

Your exercise at the moment is truly impressive, by the way!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 5:28 am

Thanks Heather & iron!

Iron thx for noticing my increase in exercise. Feels so good to be getting back in shape!

Today was good. Finally came up with an S day rule that makes sense for me which is simply no mindless snacking. Seems obvious but finally realized that's what really makes S days unpleasant for me.

Break: scrambled eggs w turkey bacon & toast, mocha
Lunch: turkey & avo sandwich, grapes, iced tea
Dinner: pasta with truffle butter, bread
Dessert: ice cream w a cookie

Been teaching Zoe how to cook. A lot of fun.

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 10:47 am

lpearlmom wrote:Been teaching Zoe how to cook. A lot of fun.

Hi lpearlmom- Glad your hubby is OK.
Also that you're teaching Zoe how to cook. I have very fond memories of learning to cook with my mom's guidance. I am surprised at how many friends I've had of all ages who were never showed anything or were shoed out of the kitchen by their moms. What a missed chance for fun bonding and also learning how to make family favorites, and to become comfortable in the kitchen! I attribute my love of cooking to positive times in the kitchen with my mom.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:26 pm

Linda,

Hope you are having a great weekend!

Sorry to hear about your husband's accident. While I don't know if he had any injuries/soreness afterwards, I hear that they usually peak at 2 days after the accident and then go down from there... so hopefully he should be just getting over the worst of it. Then again, he is an expert in this kind of thing, so he probably knew exactly what to do to make himself feel better, sooner. : )

Also wanted to say that your S days are looking good and VERY moderate- yay! Even though it's probably too early to tell, I'll be curious to hear your thoughts about the reduction of sugary drinks, and if you think it's helping. Keep me posted.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:32 am

Thanks so much for sharing about your mom Sonya! I spent a lot of time cooking with my mom too and it's something we still enjoy doing. It's pretty cool that I now get to pass on what I know to my girls.

Hi worth it, good to know about the soreness although strangely he hasn't had any pain. He definitely was lucky relatively speaking.

I do feel like I had good S days this weekend by just being a little more mindful. Nothing was off-limits as long as it was done in a purposeful way as opposed to picking my way through the day. Not much luck with the drinks though. Boy am I attached to my mochas & iced teas!

Break: French toast, fruit, chai iced tea
Lunch: blt, fries, piece of brownie, iced tea
Snack: small bowl of ice cream, bite of DHs sandwich
Dinner: cheese & crackers, Philly cheese steak

Exercise: walked around science center

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:23 am

Your S Days are looking good! The no mindless snacking rule is a good one. How fun that you are teaching Zoe to cook! I definitely want to do that with my boys, when they get a little older. My mom didn't teach me how to cook until late in life, and she only showed me a few basics, so I didn't start learning how to cook until this past year, at age 39 (but my mom did a lot of other great things for me, and she still does).
I'm glad your DH still seems to be okay!

Heather

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:36 am

Learning to cook with my mother provided some of my happiest childhood memories. How to chop up an onion so it doesn't make you cry so much, what it feels like to stir a cake that is a "soft, dropping mixture". We made simple things like lamb shank and barley broth, savoury rissoles, apricot and pineapple jam, fried rice, spinach pie, lemon butter. I can't wait to teach my son - he already sits on the bench and "washes up" with Mummy.

A lot of the recipes my mother taught us she learned from her mother, who learned from her mother, and so on. It's such a lovely, living tradition to be part of. On my grandmother's birthday last year, when she would have turned 100 (if she were still alive) my mother, sister and I cooked all of her favourites and had a celebratory meal together.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:56 pm

Ironchef, That was a lovely story, about your family's cooking traditions, and about cooking all of your grandmother's favorites, to celebrate her life.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:22 am

Linda, thanks so much for your support on my check-in thread. As usual, you gave me a little much-needed mothering. Thanks......

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:56 pm

Love the new rule about no-mindless snacking! I had a day like this yesterday (bank holiday in GB) and I really enjoyed it. I didn't quite translate this into no mindless snacking but you put it in words.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:28 am

Thanks eschano & heather!

Beautiful post iron! You've inspired me to make a family cookbook with favorite recipes from cousins, aunts, grandparents etc.

Auto: you're welcome. Glad you posted your testimony. It looks great!

I forgot to post yesterday but it was green & I had 50 mins of exercise. I may have to re-think my exercise routine though. I've been experiencing a lot of back pain for the last several months and I think it might be from the rowing machine. Not sure if it was the cause or just aggravating it but am going to take a break and see if it helps.

My plan is to walk, swim & do strengthening exercises so I'll still have 50-60 mins/day.

Break: cereal, fruit, mocha
Lunch: curry chicken sandwich, grapes, yogurt, sugar-free iced mocha
Dinner: chili w cheese & Fritos, iced tea

I've decided to put a glass ceiling on caloric drinks of 3 Max. It's still a lot but doable & I'm all about realistic expectations these days.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:35 am

I hope taking a break from the rowing machine helps your back to feel better. Your idea to limit caloric drinks is good, and it's definitely doable.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 7:17 am

A family recipe book is a great idea, I may have to steal it

Hope your back feels better soon!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Aug 28, 2014 2:07 am

Hi Linda,

Can I say, I am so impressed with your amount of exercise?! While I know you are still figuring out the best combo for you (minus the rowing, perhaps), it's still a great accomplishment so far. Hopefully you'll find something(s) that are fun and work to keep you energized and feeling healthy!

I'm also glad that you feel the 3 drinks per day limit is something you can live with. Although some people would argue that sugared drinks can be empty calories, I find that sometimes they actually help me to eat less. For instance, I have coffee with cream and 2 tsp of sugar everyday. It seems so decadent and pairs with my breakfast so well, that I've come to LOVE every drop and don't feel like I'm restricting myself at all if my food portion is small. I've also found that having a glass of lightly sweetened green tea after a sushi roll for lunch is "heaven", as is a great glass of Red Zin with scallops- some drinks just enhance my meal experience and I can feel satisfied with less food in these cases! I guess I keep coming back to the pleasure principle... Whatever those three drinks are, I hope you enjoy the heck out of them!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:57 am

Thx heather! I'm hoping the rowing machine is the issue otherwise I guess I'll have to break down & go to the doctors. The irony I know!

By all means steal away iron! If I find a good website for putting it all together, I'll let you know!

Thank you worth! Feels really good to be getting stronger. I'll just swim for now but once it cools down (still 100+ degrees here) I'll be able to bike, hike & take longer walks.

As far as the drinks, I completely agree and love your examples--yum! Life is too short to eat purely for nutrition and life without coffee in the morning or a nice glass of wine in the evening isn't worth living IMO. Slight exaggeration maybe but not much!

Good day. Got a lot done and the girls were delightful. Only a little whining about homework. Ugh, I wish we could abolish homework (sorry teachers).

Break: cereal, mocha
Lunch: roast beef sandwich, yogurt w fruit & granola, iced tea
Planned fail: small froyo
Dinner: chili potato, Fritos, glass of wine

Exercise: 50 mins--walk, swim, weights, stretch

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:18 am

As a former teacher (and I hope to go back to it in a few years), I am mixed on homework. I think a little homework is good, to help reinforce what they learned at school and to teach discipline and time management skills, but I will never be one of those teachers that sends home piles of homework. Your meals sound good! A fro yo is definitely a worthy fail.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 5:35 am

Yeah I agree heather & I don't really think this school overdoes it luckily. It's just one more thing I have to nag about. Oh well a four day weekend coming up--yay!

Break: breakfast burrito, grapes, 1/4 HM (Homemade) granola bar, mocha
Lunch: chicken curry sandwich, yogurt, 1/4 HM granola bar, nectarine, iced tea
Dinner: creamy pasta w shrimp, grilled veggies, olive bread, glass of wine

Recipe for this pasta is SO good & SO easy so I just gotta share: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007 ... _la_betsy/

Exercise: 50 mins--walk, weights, stretch

Walked a little further today. It's so hot but our neighborhood is pretty & interesting (chickens, horses, big trees) that I don't mind too much. My dogs are so much happier when they get a walk in too so it's worth it!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:25 am

Oh man, that pasta looks gooood. Mr chef loves that kind of thing, I will have to make for him sometime.

Good on you for walking, despite the heat. A tired puppy is a good puppy in our house too

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:37 am

Linda,

I agree with iron, that pasta looks maj delish (can you believe I'm not a valley girl)!!!

I keep forgetting to ask you, is that chicken curry sandwich that keeps popping up on your thread a recipe from Barefoot Contessa? I made a version a few years ago from her using tarragon and grapes and almonds? and it was amazing. I remember on the same episode that she also did a curry version that I wanted to try, but then forgot about it. Just curious if it's her recipe.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Aug 30, 2014 3:57 am

Oh let me know if you guys try it. Zoe asked for the pasta in her lunch today so definitely a winner in this house.

Iron: my puppies pretty much won't leave me alone till I walk them at this point. Luckily they know the difference between the weekend & weekday so mommy gets to sleep in tomorrow.

Worth: the chicken curry is actually pre-made from trader joes--really good! Anything from Ina is probably fabulous though Im sure. I have all her cookbooks & am awaiting her new one coming out in Oct--yay!

Good relaxing day.

Break: cereal, 1/4 HM granola bar, mocha
Lunch: ww avocado burrito, nf mocha
Dinner: pizza, grapes, iced tea

I'm liking the drink limit. I don't feel deprived but it's helping me to remain moderate.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Aug 30, 2014 6:51 am

I'll have to look for that chicken curry, the next time I go to Trader Joes! I'm glad the drink limit is working for you.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:16 am

Yeah it's really good heather--DH loves it too. It's with all the prepared salads which I love as well. I do a lot of cooking for dinner so like to keep lunch super low-maintenance.

Threw my mindless snacking right out of the window today. I did a lot of baking today which meant a lot of snacking along with it. Oh well I overdid it but not bursting at the seams or anything.

Break: pizza eggs, mocha
Snunch: 2 HM flapjacks (British ), 1 lemon bar (omg so good!), HM granola bar, couple bites Thai noodles, piece of chocolate
Dinner: shrimp burrito, chips, iced tea
Dessert: lemon bar

Exercise: recreational swim

I'm getting that feeling like I need more of a social life but don't really want to do much about it. Funny how for long periods we'll be so busy with relatives visiting, old friends coming by & kids activities that I don't feel lonely but once that stops I realize I don't really have a circle of friends like I used to & it's hard.

Part of it's my fault. Cutting people off or pushing people away. Often for the best but maybe not always necessary. The other reason is because we've moved to a different area. It's okay though. I remember feeling this every so often when I'm going through a transition.

I just don't feel like getting out there & making an effort this time though so that's what worries me. If only amazon delivered couples to hang out with & bffs, I'd be all set.

Oh well really my problems could be much worse. I have a lovely family, a beautiful home, adorable puppies, a few dear friends and the rest will come with time I'm sure.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Aug 31, 2014 9:23 pm

Linda,

First of all, I hope this isn't creepy to say, but I believe if we lived close to each other, I have a feeling we would be fast friends! Most, well all, of my friends have artistic talents in one way or another, and I feel like I could be artistic just by being associated with you (even though I'm NOT at all)! Not to mention, you are just cool in so many ways- the fact that you even shared your emotions in the above post makes you pretty awesome in my book! Doing this such a challenge for many of us, and you lead by example. I definitely like to surround myself with people who I can learn from and make me better. Because of this, you are one of the reasons I come back to this board again and again.

Second of all, I know this feeling too. Maybe it's the holiday weekend that has drudged it up for you, but whatever it is, I say sit with it. It's all to easy for one to push it down and try not to feel sadness or turn it into some other emotion, and I'm impressed that you can identify it in the first place. Just know that it's a moment in time and the strong feeling will pass. Today you may not feel like doing much about it, but another day you may feel differently.

In the meantime, ask your hubby and daughters for an extra hug and know that many of us are sending you one through the airwaves (? internet waves?)!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Aug 31, 2014 9:44 pm

Oh you are the sweetest worth. Thank you so so much for your reply. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Not all creepy. On the contrary you really lifted my spirits. I guess it's easier to meet like-minded ppl on here than irl. Oh well.

Also I think you're right about the the timing. It's definitely the Labor Day weekend that's doing it for me. Everyone's camping or having big bbqs so hard not to feel a little loserish.

Luckily DH has a rare weekend off so that's nice. He's inviting a couple garage buddies over so I'll just pretend they're my friends too & stir up some cocktails or something.

But yes hopefully I'll get out there soon & make some connections again.

Thanks again for the kind words & badly needed encouragement. You're the best.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:28 am

Omg cannot remember when I've eaten so much. Not sure what I was thinking but have never looked forward to an N day quite so much.

One of DHs friend ended up bringing his wife & 3 kids. I ended up having to make small talk with his wife for 5 hrs. She's super nice but it's still hard to make conversation that long with someone you don't know really well. I felt kind of lame because she told me she thought we were having a lot of people over. Also, their kids annoy me because they're lacking some basic manners & act like they live her when they come over.

I know I know, I'm never happy but it just reminded me that as much as I'd like to be a lil more social, I still need to be selective about it. On the upside, I chatted with Zoe's friends mom for a long time today (when I picked z up from her house) & forgot how much we get along. Possible friendship there down the line some day.

Oh well at least the situation probably isn't as hopeless as it sometimes feels.

Yay for tomorrow !

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:00 am

Linda, I ate too much today, too. That would be hard to make small talk with someone you don't know well for 5 hours! I am not the most social person, either, and I would have a hard time with that. Hooray for a possible friendship, though!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 2:05 pm

Lol, Linda, that 5 hour small talk situation is my nightmare! Especially, when they people are just nice enough not to be able to just brush them off but don't get along with me well enough to have an in-depth conversation! Plus, in your area it seems lots of topics are dangerous as well. You should be proud to have done well! I bet you were the gracious hostess you always are! And Zoe's friend's mummy sounds nice.

It's good to look forward to N days.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 4:21 pm

OMG-

I second eschano- that situation is my nightmare too! I can barely handle the small talk and awkwardness for 5 minutes, let alone 5 hours!

Glad you got through it and even more glad you a good conversation with Zoe's friends mom to balance it all out.

Happy N day!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Sep 02, 2014 5:26 pm

LOL, I hope you were at least able to drink a lot of sangrias!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:41 am

You guys totally made me laugh. Nice to know that others would find that situation awkward & that it wasn't just my anti-social tendencies coming out. And yes auto, thankfully she was happy to partake in alcoholic beverages. I made us a pitcher of my summer cocktail (limemade, beer & vodka) and it definitely helped!

Break: bagel w lox & cream cheese, nf mocha
Lunch: popcorn, d coke (took girls to the movies)
Dinner: smoked brisket sandwich w coleslaw, baked beans, iced tea
Fail: bite of DHs kitchen experiment--bacon, chocolate & maple syrup

Exercise: 40 mins--walk, weights, stretch

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:06 am

lpearlmom wrote:Fail: bite of DHs kitchen experiment--bacon, chocolate & maple syrup

Wow, Linda... how was that??!!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 11:14 am

osoniye wrote:
lpearlmom wrote:Fail: bite of DHs kitchen experiment--bacon, chocolate & maple syrup
Wow, Linda... how was that??!!

Aehm - yummy! Next S day comes around soon. I couldn't have resisted either but next time make him wait until S day too

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:24 pm

Ooh! I would have tried your DH's experiment, too.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 3:53 pm

It was really good! I took a bite out of politeness more than temptation as I'm not a big sweets person & he was just so dang excited.

I don't think he even knows I'm still doing NOs but either way I wouldn't impose my choice to limit my food on anyone else. That's just me though!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:07 am

Break: cereal, 2 veg sausages, fruit, nf mocha
Lunch: brisket sandwich, chips & guacamole , grapes, iced tea
Dinner: beef burrito, summer cocktail

Dang I ate a lot today!

Exercise: 45 mins walk, stretch (taking a break from weights till back is better)

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 4:20 am

Mmm, maple syrup. Sounds delish!

A few people have a vague idea that I don't eat sweets during the week, but no one knows that I follow a specific way of eating called No S. If anyone asked, I would tell them, but I don't offer it up.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 6:16 am

That brisket sandwich sounds good! I hope your back feels better soon. I haven't told very many people I'm dieting either for that same reason, I don't want to impose my food choices on them.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:03 am

Burrito and summer cocktail - yummy!

I don't think I could do it without my bf knowing. When I am tempted to stray he gently asks and it makes me stick with it.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:58 am

Just checking in really quickly to say I was in Los Angeles for the last four days so wasn't able to check in for a bit.

It was a very tumultuous few days with highs (universal studios) and lows (seeing myself on the big screen at the baseball game--horrifying!). I'm just trying to process it all and figure out where to go from here. I feel like I've been in denial about my weight and how it's been effecting my health, self-esteem & social life. I really thought I could be one of those full-figured, gorgeous & confident divas I admire so much but alas I don't think that's me after all.

I'm recommitting myself to losing some serious weight. I need to put myself first for awhile and tackle this. Tomorrow I'll figure out my new plan of attack but do know it'll fit into my established nos habits.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:19 am

Can't wait to read about your plan. But also: remember, we all judge ourselves harshly on photos and videos just to rediscover them a few years later and realising how beautiful we were then. I am sure so are you!

aspencer27 · Post by **aspencer27** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:12 pm

I agree with Eschano, we are always so much harder on ourselves! On NoS, I'm trying to focus on not judging myself as harshly. I think being ok with fails on NoS has helped me a lot already.

I'm excited about your plan, too. We're here to root you on!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:55 am

Linda,

As I always say, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!! I often feel cursed about how much my self esteem is tied into my weight. When did that happen in my life, I wonder?

Anyway, I want to first commend you for listing the "highs" first! Positive you are! Secondly, I wanted to say that while I HEART Los Angeles, I often feel even worse about my looks after visiting and believe it's due in part to the ideal of beauty there. Those gals are SERIOUS about their fashion, grooming, diets, etc. It's so hard not to compare myself....

Whatever you come up with, we will be here to cheer you on!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 4:10 am

Thanks so much espencer & worth!

I think the issue is that I never look at myself in a full-length mirror so to finally do so was shocking. Not only did I have to see myself on the big screen but my mother-in-law has a glass shower that faces a mirrored wall. Not good!

It's so true about LA worth! We love to visit but can't see myself ever living there again. It's just too much pressure.

Still I really want to get to a place where I can enjoy my appearance again. It's just not going to happen at this weight. Bummer!

I haven't really come up w much of a plan except to try to have smaller, lighter plates and to exercise more. I mean that's about all I can do, right?

My biggest fear is that my weight just won't budge no matter how much I exercise or how little I eat. All I can do is try...

Weight:206.1

Break: 2 pieces turkey bacon, yogurt, nectarine, skinny mocha
Lunch: citrus chicken salad (TJs), handful of grapes
Dinner: Salisbury steak, noodles, broccoli (small plate), glass of sangria

(I found a light version of Salisbury steak--was really good! http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/01/skin ... hroom.html)

Exercise: 45 mins walk; 15 mins back exercises

Ugh, I hope I can achieve the impossible somehow!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:42 am

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 12:37 pm

Up early today because of stupid back pain but weighed myself & wanted to record it before I forgot.

203.8 yay!!

I wrote down a plan & am going to give myself a 21 day challenge to stick to it. Not ready to share the plan yet because I'm sure someone will have criticisms about it & it might be triggering for others. if I'm having success with it, I will post down the line somewhere.

Have a great day all!

Linda

aspencer27 · Post by **aspencer27** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:24 pm

Yes, please do post at some point - I love seeing what mods work or don't work for other people. Everyone is different, so finding what works for you is most important. Good luck on the 21 day challenge!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:47 pm

Linda, I wish you the best with your plan! I preordered the Skinnytaste cookbook. I'm looking forward to trying out the recipes!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 9:49 pm

Hi Linda--Good job braving the scale.

I am still too afraid!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:13 am

Thanks aspencer & heather!

auto: the afraid to step on the scale zone is not a comfortable place to be!

Heather, I think I'm going to get her cookbook too. I made two more of her recipes tonight & they were delish. I love that it's just normal food lightened up a bit so I can feed to it to my family.

I was so hungry between lunch & dinner but I made it!

Break: piece of toast w cottage cheeses & raspberries, mocha
Lunch: 1 Salisbury steak patty, 3 flatbread crackers, nectarine
Dinner: (small plate) skinny buttermilk mashed potatoes, skinny beef stroganoff, peas, piece of bread, glass of wine

Exercise: 45 min walk, 15 mins back exercises

I was thinking about my ideal weight today & I realized there's no specific number. Rather it's whatever number I can look in the mirror and feel good. I'm making myself look in a full-length mirror at least once a day. This isn't to make myself feel badly but rather to make sure I'm in touch with reality.

I hope I can reach a good place but right now I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 2:13 pm

Linda, I haven't tried her recipes yet, but they look interesting! I think the cookbook comes on Sept. 30. After I get it, I'll definitely try out her recipes. I like the idea of looking in a full length mirror. I think taking it one day at a time is the best way to go.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Fri Sep 12, 2014 6:18 pm

Linda,

I like your thought about having no ideal weight "number", but whatever you would feel good at. I will consider this as well, because many times I compare to an old number that was healthy for my younger self. I suspect many things have changed in my body (childbearing, some health issues, etc.) and that the old number may not work as a good gauge of my "healthiness."

That is VERY moderate thinking- I like it!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Sep 13, 2014 3:06 am

Thx heather! I pre-ordered it too.

Yeah worth I'm definitely not trying to weigh what I did in my 20s! Heck at this point, I'd be thrilled to get under 200 lbs. never thought I'd say that.

203.8

Break: piece of toast w cottage cheese & berries, coffee w milk
Lunch: veggie burger, skinny mocha
Dinner: small plate of Indian food, 1 glass of wine

Exercise: 30 mins walk, 15 home aerobics, 15 mins back exercises

Very hungry again today. Even got to the point where I had trouble concentrating. Hopefully my body will start to adjust to smaller amounts. It's tough but my body is stubborn. It doesn't respond to subtle changes.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Sep 13, 2014 6:29 am

Go Linda! Good work getting through these past two hungry days!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Sep 14, 2014 3:48 am

Linda,

Even though the simple equation of "calories in" should be "less than calories burned" in order to lose weight, it's so much harder in practice. I sincerely believe that sometimes there's just more to it and that every person is unique in their experience, especially since you mentioned subtleties.

Either way, I hope you will be rewarded with weight loss for all of your hard work. Do the best you can to manage through it all!

Worth it

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:37 am

Thank you iron!

I completely agree worth! It's so much more complicated than we're led to believe. My body used to lose weight pretty easily but these days it holds on to it like you wouldn't believe.

Kind of an emotional day... Feeling super down about my weight and wanting to do something extreme but realize that can't last very long. Need to be more reasonable but hopefully find an effective approach too.

I feel like I've put so much of myself in mothering and have unfortunately neglected myself in the meantime. Meanwhile my sister is off in Italy while my mother is watching her four kids. How did this happen? My fault I know but I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.

It's okay my kids are older & more independent now so I guess I'm ready to put some energy in getting myself to a better place. I feel like I need a total overhaul but feel confident I can start to feel healthy & energized again with a little work.

Also I'm kind of freaking out because one of my bffs from college called me out of the blue & is coming to visit next week--yikes!!! I haven't seen her in years. I weighed 125 lbs in college. She never had kids or got married and is still in great shape--ugh! I did hint to her on the phone about my weight gain & will just have to distract her w my adorable kids & new house!

Weight: 203.8 (see? Stubborn!)

Break: 4 pancakes, 2 pieces turkey bacon, mocha
Lunch: deli sandwich, handful baked chips
Snack: banana bread (right out of oven), milk
Dinner: 3 pieces pizza, iced tea

Not bad for an S day. Everything was contained at least.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 2:43 am

Linda,

You made a comment about being an "all or nothing kind of gal." I personally identify with this statement so much and then curse myself sometimes because it's so difficult for me to be moderate in many things. Perhaps this personality trait makes us struggle with No S too?

After reading your post, I thought about a quote I read the other day (which I will screw up). It basically said that progress isn't always forward moving and that sometimes you have to regress before you can move forward again. It was by a women who climbed Mt. Everest and had to continually go up and down parts of the mountain before making her trip to all the way up to the summit. So, that was a long-winded way of saying that now it's your time to move forward again... and I believe you will do it.

Finally, I totally get the freak out about your friend from college (every time I see my bff, I am bigger than the last time. Sigh.) And you are right- she won't even notice after she sees your lovely girls and your beautiful home. You should also show her some of your photos too... they are stunning!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:41 am

That sounds like a very moderate S day

I feel like I've put so much of myself in mothering and have unfortunately neglected myself in the meantime.

I think this is very common, I often feel that I (and my husband) are to some extent "lost" in the overwhelming role of parenting a young child. You've recognised it though, and as you say, as the girls get older you can start to move in a new direction.

Meanwhile my sister is off in Italy while my mother is watching her four kids.

See, as cool as this sounds in theory, I actually would never want to do it. I'm just not that hardcore. I would be anxious and stressed the whole time. And not becuase I don't love Italy (it's my spiritual home).

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:04 am

Oh you're so kind worth! I love the image of the woman climbing mt Everest in a non-linear way especially since she gets to the top at some point and maybe I will conquer my issues too. Who knows?!

Yeah I think all or nothing personality is suited to nos in a way because there are very defined rules (at least on N days) and so we actually get to achieve perfection if we want. On the downside, as soon as I get overly frustrated I have trouble keeping into perspective and am ready to full-heartedly embrace some new radical concept. When in reality I should just be making some minor tweaks to the system I already have in place. At least we seem to have the sense to come back to the sane solution.

On that note, I've thought about how I just want to tighten up my implementation of NoS and see how that goes for a bit. I want to go back to being very strict with myself about green/red days like I was in the beginning. I notice I use tasting my food as I cook as an excuse to nibble. I cook a lot so this can really add up! So no tasting at all even for seasoning (horror!). I will just make a note in the recipe if seasonings are off for next time.

Also no more mochas or sweetened iced teas on N days period. I actually cried today over this. Yes, I'm a little bit dramatic. I don't know if I can do it frankly but I think I should at least give it a go. I actually feel relieved to have my boundaries nice and clear again.

I definitely need to keep exercising not so much for weight loss but for self-care issues. Hopefully that will be a step in the right direction for learning to put myself first sometimes.

Iron, I agree I wouldn't want to be that far from my kids either. I'd want to bring them along actually! But she's definitely hardcore or cray-cray as my kids would say. She's there running a 3 day run on a hurt foot against doctors advice. Theoretically it's kind of cool but yes not for moi! When her first daughter was one, she dropped her off with me for two weeks & went to chile. Her daughter had only met me briefly twice before.

I'm not trying to suggest she's a bad parent. She's not. She has a very different style than me but still I wouldn't mind maybe a weekend away while I'm at a spa in sedona. Hmmmm maybe I can make that happen.

Anyway here's today:

206.1 (grrr..)

Break: 1 piece banana bread, yogurt, strawberries, mocha
Lunch: bowl of chicken stew & mashed potatoes, iced tea
Snack: small cup of ice cream
Dinner: chicken tostado
Dessert: 1 candy bar

Exercise: short swim

Fun day with the girls and their friends!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:48 am

Another lovely, moderate S day. Go you good thing!

Your post reminded me of Reinhard's podcast about "Extreme Moderation" - we are "all or nothing", just in a moderate way!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:55 pm

Linda, I understand about putting all of your efforts into mothering, and not taking care of yourself. I have been there. I hope your tweaks to your eating work for you. Yes, I would definitely keep exercising! There are SO many benefits, besides weight control! Your S days look good.

Heather

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:57 am

Linda,

I am cracking up over the cray cray comment! I agree- I'd want to take my kid with us...he LOVES traveling (yay!). I also get the spa weekend too!

Anyway, I say go ahead and have a good cry- You have very strong feelings over your drinks and I'm guessing it may be some kind of a comfort thing for you? I have no idea what you will find that works in the end, but I'd say, go ahead and feel that emotion and get it out now. Maybe doing so will get you closer to an answer?

Finally, I want to sincerely thank you for your suggestions on meal planning and books on my thread. I am already feeling less stressed because of them.

Worth it

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:14 am

Thank you iron & heather! It felt great to have good S days!

Worth, the whole mocha attachment is pretty strong! I started drinking them in France when I was on a study abroad program, I drank one on my first date w/ dh, I used to drink them at 4:30 in the morning on my way to the lake when I was on the rowing team, and later every morning when I taught. My youngest daughter's first outing was Starbucks (on the way home from the hospital nonetheless). All that and every day in between.

It's ok though, saving them for the weekends does seem more reasonable. I think I'm just more upset that this is so hard. Trying to lose weight or coming to terms with not being able to lose weight. Both seem impossible at times, but then I realized that the only one standing in my way is myself. Feeling better about things today.

Green day

Break: poached egg on toast, nectarine, coffee w nf steamed milk
Lunch: veggie burger w tomato, yogurt w granola, iced coffee w splash of cream
Dinner: chicken w rice casserole, chips & guacamole

Exercise: walked 30 mins, weights 15 mins

Starting a daily self-care action.

Today's SC: went to eye dr & made an appt for regular dr tomorrow. So nervous. I really hate going but know I have to do this.

aspencer27 · Post by **aspencer27** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:16 pm

For me getting Starbucks Chai Lattes had just become a habit. I wasn't even sure if I really enjoyed them all that much any more. I actually haven't had one in quite a while, so it will be possible for you to do it, and I definitely enjoy it more when I do have one now. Glad you're feeling better now, you'll do great!

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 1:40 pm

Linda, can I just say that I totally relate to your mocha attachment. Reading all that those mocha's went through with you -- may sound funny but I lived, ever so briefly, in my mind, each moment you described if only in my imagination and I can feel why you love those drinks. Thats powerful to me. It sounds like you had the coolest life with lots of experiences, I envy. What's really wrong with that mocha love though? I guess there will be tons of differing opinions, but I wouldn't give it up personally. If it's really holding you back, maybe "health it up" a bit. Just a thought!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 7:40 pm

Thanks for the encouragement aspencer! It's definitely a habit but one I enjoy immensely.

Thanks for getting it Sinnie! I do already take my mochas nonfat/no whip but I guess I could go to a smaller size. I wouldn't give them up except that after more than a year on NoS and many, many green days, I still have lost little or no weight. :/

Since I can't bear to go on a traditional diet, I think I need to tighten NoS a bit and see how that goes. If I ever get to a maintenance phase, the mochas are definitely coming back.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:30 pm

Oh Linda, I really love your mocha stories. When I lived in London in 1999 I fell in love with hazelnut lattes at the Manhattan Coffee Company. I went through a really tough time, and getting one of those on the way to work each morning felt like it was sometimes the happiest part of my day. It sounds bizarre, but my association of those drinks with comfort and warmth was incredibly strong.

I keep them for S days now, and you can too, I know it! They remain very special to me when I have them.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 2:44 am

Awesome iron, we should start a coffee memories thread. Food definitely can evoke powerful emotions. That's a positive thing I think. But yes, I will enjoy my mochas that much more on S days.

Break: 2 veggie sausages, Greek yogurt w granola & fruit, coffee w cream
Lunch: 1/2 order BBQ chicken salad, piece of naan, iced coffee w splash of cream
Dinner : small plate of Chinese food

Exercise: none--had early morn appt

So happy I finally went to the drs. Finally feeling like I'm getting back on track w my health. They set me up for physical Therapy, X-rays, a physical & an appt to check my hormones. I'm so relieved and they didn't even mention my weight. *phew*

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:14 am

Green day

Break: granola w milk & fruit, coffee w cream
Lunch: 2 chicken sausages, 1 bun, piece of raisin bread w cream cheese (weird lunch), iced coffee w cream
Dinner: chicken sausage w bun, roasted cauliflower w parm cheese, Mexican rice & beans (was good!): http://www.finecooking.com/recipes/mexi ... beans.aspx

Exercise: none (another morning thing)

SC (self-care): did hair & make-up

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:27 am

Green day

Break: raisin bread w cream cheese, 2 pieces turkey bacon, watermelon, coffee w cream
Lunch: rice w beans & roasted cauliflower in a tortilla, yogurt w granola & fruit
Cappuccino
Dinner: sesame noodles, beef & snow pea stir-fry, glass of wine

(omg dinner was so good. I could happily eat that every night for the rest of my days).

Stir-fry: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010 ... snow-peas/

Sesame noodles: http://www.bigbearswife.com/2012/06/ses ... upper.html

Exercise: walk 30 mins

SC: hair & make-up

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:39 am

Thank you for the recipes Linda!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:14 am

The lunches and dinners sound SO good! I'm really glad to see you are taking care of your health! If you feel better, it's easier to eat better, and vice versa!

Heather

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 1:24 am

lpearlmom wrote:

Kind of an emotional day... Feeling super down about my weight and wanting to do something extreme but realize that can't last very long. Need to be more reasonable but hopefully find an effective approach too.

Yes, and yes.

I feel like I've put so much of myself in mothering and have unfortunately neglected myself in the meantime.

Yes, and my job. Not a lot left over for my home/family either.

Also I'm kind of freaking out because one of my bffs from college called me out of the blue & is coming to visit next week--yikes!!! I haven't seen her in years. I weighed 125 lbs in college. She never had kids or got married and is still in great shape--ugh! I did hint to her on the phone about my weight gain & will just have to distract her w my adorable kids & new house!

I found out TWO YEARS ago that a woman who was my BFF for most of my 20s before she moved away, now lives just a few miles from me. We have not gotten together. A lot of it is because I feel uncomfortable with how I look (stupid, I know) I don't even have a beautiful house to distract her with, either.

Not looking forward to a potential visit to see family in a few months. All because I feel lousy about myself.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 2:06 am

That dinner looks amazing! I would never tire of this either.

I'm definitely going to try this out- thanks for the recipe!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:49 am

Sure thing eschano!

Thank you heather & worth. Worth, the noodle recipe is from that moms 100 recipe book. Soooo... Good!

Dandelion, it makes me sad when I let my weight get in the way of doing things, I'd otherwise enjoy. For the record, I weaseled out of getting together with my friend. She didn't want to drive all the way to my house (an hour from where she was staying) and wanted to meet somewhere for lunch instead. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing her all on my own so told her my daughter was home sick & couldn't make it. Ugh so lame.

The worst part is we know if the tables were turned we wouldn't care at all about a friends weight gain. We might notice it but within 5 mins, it'd be forgotten and we'd be focusing on all the awesome qualities they have.

Anyway it's becoming clearer & clearer to me that I need to try to get my weight to a more reasonable place. All I can do is try.

Green day

203.5

Break: oatmeal w fruit
Lunch: 1/2 chicken sandwich , cup of soup, cappuccino
Dinner: hamburger, fries

Exercise: walked 30 mins

SC: got my X-rays taken care of

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:14 pm

Hi Linda,
thanks for checking in on me. I just read through a bit of your thread and I loved catching up on your goings-on!

You should write a book. I'm serious. Aren't you eager for a new hobby anyway, wink wink?!

So about the Italy thing: I'm with the crew that says couldn't do it!!! When they were little, I would have felt worried and guilty; now that they are a bit bigger, I would want to bring them. It's like going someplace beautiful and just wishing your husband could see it. I would annoy everyone around me with constantly saying, "My kids would love this!"

About the mocha thing. I had to give up my STRONG latte attachment due to my NoSpending policy last January. My attachment goes back to college, like yours, and it is steeped in special memories and times when I was really pushing hard in life.

But, guess what? By saving my lattes for the weekends, I eventually lost interest EVEN on the weekends! I find myself passing a place on Saturday, only to think--the pleasure of the drink is outweighed by the line and the mediocrity of the actual drink.

From your thread, it seems like school must be off to a good start, and that you are enjoying your time with your girls. That's great.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 10:09 pm

Linda,

I love your honesty and willingness to share your feelings- I totally would have tried to get out of that situation too. I know, too well, that feeling of DREAD I have when I have had to see someone who has only known me when I was thin (which was most of my life). It has actually made me sick to my stomach in some cases. In fact, next weekend, I am seeing one of my old employees from 1.5 years ago and I'm bigger than ever (about a 12 lb increase from last time she saw me) and I'm a ball of nerves. I hate that my weight affects me this much. And as you said, I could totally care less if the tables were turned.

This has prompted me to try a number of things to get that scale moving in a downward direction. I'm even trying a mod next week (which is unheard of for me).

I'm up for trying anything at this point!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:16 am

Auto--so awesome to hear from you. It's just not the same around here without you. It's good to know that my mocha habit is beatable.

Also, thank you so much for the amazing compliment. I used to want to be a writer way back when....

Worth, I hope you meet your friend. I'm certain she'll be too dazzled by your great personality to notice a few pounds. Do whatever makes you feel good. Get your hair done, wear your favorite outfit--it'll be fine! Of course, I need to take my own advice next time!

Break: raisin toast w cream cheese, yogurt, mocha (yay !)
Lunch: turkey & avo sandwich, watermelon, dark chocolate bar filled w/ cookie cream
Snack: small bowl of sesame noodles
Dinner: tortilla w rice & beans & guacamole, fruit, iced tea
Dessert: piece of chocolate cake, glass of milk

SC: hair & make-up; nap

Super lazy day watching movies & making chocolate cake with my youngest. (Zoe was at a party most of the day). Fun!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 2:29 am

Pretty good day. Took the girls to see a play starring one of their friend's. Was super cute. Then came home & made honey ice cream and meatballs. The sauce for the meatballs takes 5 hrs so I'll have to finish it tomorrow.

Break: bagel w cream cheese, mocha
Snack: small bag of Cheetos, 1/2 cheese quesadilla, lots of nibbles while cooking, glass of wine
Dinner: tuna melt, soup
Dessert: tiny bowl of honey ice cream

Honey ice cream was amazing btw. Here's the recipe in case anyone (esp iron) is interested.

Honey Ice Cream

2 cups milk
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup honey
2 teaspoons grated orange zest
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons cornstarch

In a large, heavy-bottomed saucepan, combine 1 1/2 cups of the milk, the cream, honey, orange zest, cardamom, and salt and bring to a simmer.

In a small bowl, whisk the cornstarch into the remaining 1/2 cup of milk. Add to the simmering cream mixture and cook, stirring constantly, for 1 minute, or until thickened. Let cool to room temperature.

Transfer mixture to an ice cream machine and process according to the manufacturer's directions. Serve right away or transfer to a freezer container and freeze. If you like, serve with a drizzle of honey.

(I used cardamom pods & just removed them right b4 I put it in the mixer).

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 2:26 am

Break: cereal w fruit, cappuccino
Lunch: noodles w veggies, yogurt w granola
Dinner: pasta w meatballs, salad, bread , grapes

Exercise: walk 40 mins

SC: bubble bath

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 5:17 am

OMG, that sounds amaze-balls! After honey, one of my favourite things ever in a dessert is cardamom.

Also, bubblebaths rock

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:57 am

Yummy Linda! Thanks for another great recipe.

Tessytwinkle · Post by **Tessytwinkle** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:00 pm

Hi Linda. Thanks for dropping by my thread. I am always comforted by your presence on these boards. You are a wonderful example to me in so many ways. You are a star

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 12:55 am

Hi Linda! I went on a rowing machine and I have to say.... I'm not totally sure I'm doing it right. It appears to require more coordination than I first assumed,

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:30 am

Definitely right up your alley iron--I have some in the freezer waiting for me this weekend!

Np eschano

Tessy, I'm always rooting for you! We started out around the same time and although we've both had are rocky times, we're still here. Pretty cool!

Auto--be careful esp since you've had some back issues too I believe. I think you can look at some you tube videos to check your technique.

So tired but had a good day.

Break: pumpkin muffin, mocha (rewarded myself for facing my fear of going to the drs).
Lunch: low-cal frozen entree plus a meatball, grapes, sm glass apple juice
Dinner: meatball sandwich, homemade chai tea w lil milk & honey

Exercise: none (early morn appt)

Overdid it w drinks today but I'm not going to sweat it. Some days I just need a lil bit of comfort.

SC: went to my physical, got blood work done ugh! Feel so proud of myself for finally doing this.

So tired. Was up at 4:30 w back pain. Will catch up on everyone's threads later.....

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Wed Sep 24, 2014 5:51 am

Good job on going to see the doctor! I think having extra hot drinks from time to time is fine. They really are comforting, especially with the cold weather. I saw your recipe for honey ice cream. It looks amazing!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 5:50 am

Thank you Heather! It's so hard for me dealing with medical stuff. For one thing it's the stupid scale that they make you go on every time and then I worry that they're going to tell me I need to lose weight. Oh really? I had no clue but I'll be sure to get on that right away...

Luckily nobody has mentioned it even if they're thinking it. Also now that I've been weighing myself at home, it's not quite so scary to be weighed elsewhere.

Been thinking a lot about unpleasant things like mortality and loss. I'm guessing it's a midlife thing partly but I also realized that I'm the exact same age as my dad was when he passed away (lung cancer). I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. Shortly after my dad passed away, my mom lost our beloved childhood home. I guess it's no wonder I've been mentally preparing myself for losing our house & having to raise my girls alone as of late.

Actually once I made the connection to why I've been having these thoughts & my dad, I felt much better. It did remind me though that I need to take care of some hard things like wills, life insurance and other fun tasks.

On the upside I feel like I've been in this little bubble the last year or so. When we were in the process of getting this house I promised myself that I would keep it spotless & be the best sahm possible. I'm sure the importance of getting this house is connected to the loss of my childhood home. Well, I've been so focused on the house that I really haven't done or wanted to do much else but I'm now feeling ready to expand my horizons a bit.

I haven't gotten it all figured out yet but looking into substituting, volunteer work, exercise class, and a moms group. Just normal stuff that most people do everyday but for me feels like a big deal! Boy I didn't realize what a hermit I've been till just now.

Anyway today was green...

Break: oatmeal, fruit, cappuccino, 2 slices turkey bacon
Lunch: turkey & avo sandwich, handful baked chips, tea w milk
Dinner: blta sandwich, potato & leek soup

Soup was quite good.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina- ... ecipe.html

Exercise: 45 min walk, back exercises

SC: went to physical therapy (was super helpful!)

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:23 am

Linda, your post just blew me away. It's so great to make the connections!

And the beginning "Oh really? I had no clue but I'll be sure to get on that right away... " made me laugh!

My doctor never shows me my weight, which I much appreciate!