Linda's daily check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Tessytwinkle
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Post by Tessytwinkle » Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:08 pm

Hi Linda. I really think I understand some of your feelings about mortality and loss. I have been feeling so vulnerable for a while now due to losing my friend. It makes you question everything and life can feel very fragile at times. It's good to feel your home safe around you. I'm so impressed you are now looking out wards and ready for a new adventure :) can't wait to read all about it. You would be really good at voluntary work I think - even for a hermit :lol:

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Post by LoriLifts » Thu Sep 25, 2014 10:24 pm

Hiya tessytwinkle!

Just stopping by to say hi.
You're doing great!
:D
Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.

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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:21 am

Thank you eschano, I always hesitate to post stuff like this because I don't want to bring anyone down yet it does help me to get everything down on "paper".

Tessy, it's hard stuff to face but does help us to remember how precious this crazy life is and to cherish every bit of joy we can muster, right?

Thanks for stoping by Lori.

Today was mostly good but had a big fight with Zoe which really threw me. I haven't lost my temper in so long and forgot how much it sucks. It's okay though I just came home, poured myself a glass of wine & turned on some Gordon Ramsey (my celebrity crush). I'm going to give her a big hug when she comes home (from dance ) and put this behind us.

break: 1/2 muffin, cereal w fruit, Cappuccino
Lunch: salad w chicken & avo, large apple., iced coffee w splash cream
Dinner: grilled pork chopped, apple chutney, bread, glass of wine

Exercise: 50 mins--walk, swim, back exercise

SC: back exercises

Nervous about my weekly weigh-in. I don't think I'm willing to do much more than this to lose weight. Not sure what to do if I'm still not losing. :/

Edit: ended up having a small fail last night. A couple extra bites of pork (was so stinking good) & tiny bowl of ice cream. I think it's better to have occasional fails then to be perfect & get burn out which is whats happened to me in the past.
Last edited by lpearlmom on Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by Dandelion » Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:27 am

Just so you know - I might very well have done the same thing (weaseled out of the meeting the friend thing). I know this, because I have done it. More than once.

I also find it perplexing that I find it so easy to 'judge' (for lack of a better word) others by their character, personality, integrity, honesty, etc - and never think about their size. When it comes to my feelings about myself - quite the opposite. But though I know this in my head, I can't seem to feel it in my heart.
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

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Post by r.jean » Fri Sep 26, 2014 3:42 am

Linda
If it is any consolation to you, it took me nearly 2 1/2 years to decide that I wanted to lose the rest of my weight to get down to a normal BMI. I lost 45 lbs in year one of No S which left me overweight but not obese. I sort of settled for maintaining at that point because I wanted to hang on to some of my immoderate eating habits. This year I finally got a grip on the fact that I need to quit pretending that I have done what I need to do in order to truly achieve moderation. I had 25 lbs left to lose, and I have lost 12 of it since July 1. I do not regret this procrastination over the past 2.5 years. I think I just needed time to adjust to the changes and to maintain the loss before moving on. When the time is right, it will happen.
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Maintenance is progress.

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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Sep 26, 2014 5:25 am

Dandelion -- great to see you & good to know I'm not alone. It's true that we're our worst critics I guess. DHs sister has gained a good amount of weight over the years but when I see her I still think she's adorable & I love her sense of humor, her graciousness & her ability to make small talk with anyone! I'm pretty sure others see past our weight too and we needn't be so worried. Easier said then done though, right?

Jean thank you SO much for your wisdom & words of encouragement. I badly needed to hear that today. :D
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by aspencer27 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 12:40 pm

Linda, hang in there. Even maintaining for me is better than gaining, like I had been doing before. Maintaining is a success, and your weight is just a number. We are definitely our own worst critics - we wouldn't say most of the stuff to friends that we say to ourselves. That just isn't right!

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Post by Tessytwinkle » Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:03 pm

Hi Linda. I just got back from my doctors who said my increased exercise will build muscle so should not look for weightloss for a while. But that is a good thing. I think you are doing really healthy exercise and you will be changing the way your body works. So hang in there. I have started weighing myself and am using kg - I usually use stones and lbs - because it does not seem to have the same depressing effect on me!! So maybe weigh yourself with a different unit of measurement and it might feel more relaxed.hang in there. We are in it for a long journey right :lol: :lol:

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Post by ironchef » Fri Sep 26, 2014 10:58 pm

Sorry about your fight - I find stuff like that really stressful.

Hope your weigh in goes well, Linda. Keep in mind that 16 days is a very short time for any weight loss plan, especially a moderate one, to take effect.

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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Sep 27, 2014 12:47 am

Thanks all for the encouragement!

I was down a pound even with my little fail last night so definitely a move in the right direction. Long way to go but yes definitely in it for the long haul Tessy. Also, I love your idea about weighing in kgs.

Had a good day & looking forward to a moderate weekend w a few special treats.

Linda 8)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:16 am

Sorry you've been discouraged. I'm glad to see you were down a pound! :D

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Post by ironchef » Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:58 am

Go Linda!
Hope you had a lovely weekend.

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Post by Tessytwinkle » Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:02 pm

I think down a lb on a less than perfect week is really promising. Keep going. New week coming. I'm rooting for you
Tessy

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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:10 pm

Thanks heather, iron & Tessy!

Yesterday was kind of a crazy day. In the morning I went to a orientation for volunteering at Habitat for Humanity which sounds super exciting.

Then Talia had a class at the zoo across town so I dropped her off and took Zoe to the mall for a couple of hours. Well just as we were picking up Talia, we got caught in a torrential downpour. It was crazy and we were completely drenched by the time we got to the car. We had to wait it out in the car till the worse of it passed.

The way home was a bit treacherous as we had to make our way past flooded streets & fallen branches. We finally got home & Talia quickly changed so I could take her to her sleepover. I noticed I had a slow leak in my tire but luckily her friend lives close & I made it back home with out incident.

Eating wise, it was a good day. Moderate meals with two planned treats-a large chocolate chip cookie after lunch & a bowl of homemade ice cream w fudge for dessert.

So far today is going well. I have a cheesecake in the oven for a special dessert later.

Hope everyone has a great Sunday!

Linda
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Mon Sep 29, 2014 7:54 am

That sounds like quite the eventful day. I'm glad you made it home safely!

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Post by eschano » Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:05 am

I used to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity and it was brilliant. It was so great to work on housed for people, often with them, and knowing that it was very important work. I think you'll love it!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Post by Tessytwinkle » Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:23 am

Wow that was a tumultuous day!!! I love the sound of your possible volunteering project. What does Habitat for a Humanity do?
Great stuff on your eating, sounding like a great mix of delightful treats ( I love baked cheesecake) and established steady eating - good for you. Have a good week :)

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Sep 30, 2014 12:36 am

Eeks, I sometimes have "day-mares" about getting a flat tire on the freeway. Yeek!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:01 am

Thank you heather!

Very cool eschano! 8)

Tessy I'm pretty excited. They build housing for struggling families that live in substandard conditions. Lots of different opportunities including the actual construction end, or working on the admin end.

Today was good although I had a small fail. Had a really light breakfast& lunch so was starving by late afternoon. Decided to have a large apple which got me through to dinner. I'm trying to reduce my portion sizes but I have to be careful not to go overboard.

It's finally getting nice outside which means below 90 degrees so was able to take a longer walk this morning. Also walked to pick up the girls from school instead of taking the car--yay!

Exercise: 1 hr walk; back exercises
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by automatedeating » Tue Sep 30, 2014 1:39 pm

Linda,
How did the girls like the walk back????
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:26 am

Hey auto--the girls are pretty used to walking. I walk halfway w them on the mornings that they're not running late and last year they often walked home when weather permitted it. The problem is they have some of their worst fights while walking home so I was often tempted to pick them up by car. Yesterday I realized I could pick them up by foot & get a little extra walking in for me. :idea: Not sure why it didn't occur to me sooner!

Well I kind of hit a wall with NoS today for some reason. At some point having to give up my autonomy when it comes to eating just starts to feel unbearable. I know I have chosen to follow nos so not really giving up my control but I'm still following external rules for something that feels like should be an inside job.

I took an S day today & it was a very moderate day. I just need a couple of days to think things through or probably just need a break. I'm sure I'll be back in a day or two as tends to be my pattern.

Please no advice or criticism. I know the feeling will pass but helps for me to get my feelings down.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by ironchef » Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:02 am

Good on you for being aware and taking a moderate S day when you needed it.

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Post by clarinetgal » Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:41 am

I think it's very important to take breaks, sometimes, and that includes your eating.

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:09 pm

Thank you Heather & iron!

I seem to be doing really well eating moderately on my own without necessarily sticking to 3 plates. I'll continue with this till I feel the need for a little more structure.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by Tessytwinkle » Thu Oct 02, 2014 10:01 pm

You're a wise woman Linda. We are all feeling our way and your approach is always very thoughtful and considered. Hope you feel more in control soon :)

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Oct 02, 2014 11:37 pm

Thanks Tessy!

I'm actually in a really good place with my eating right now. Let's hope it lasts!

:D
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:58 pm

I'm back as I knew I would be. Took a much needed break. I think whenever I focus too much on weight loss, nos starts to feel too restrictive and I rebel.

Cutting out my mochas, ice tea and going to small plates just feels too much like traditional dieting. I can do it for awhile but for the next 40 years...heck no.

I'm not buying mocha mix but if I'm out and really want a (nonfat/no whip) mocha, I'm going for it. Back to regular sized plates helps me to relax and since I don't pile, I think it's fine.

I'm going to focus on health, strength & flexibility and not worry about my weight because frankly I don't seem to have a lot of control over it. I'm going to focus on being as beautiful as I can at this weight, being a good person and living a full life. I'm going to exercise a little bit everyday in ways I enjoy--walking, weights, bike riding, swimming, etc....

I'm choosing not to write down my food anymore because what I choose to eat is a personal choice and I'm not ready for negative feedback on those choices.

Hope everyone is doing well and having a great day! :)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by ironchef » Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:03 pm

Always glad to hear from you, and I really like the idea of choosing exercise that you enjoy, I always stick longest with the things I enjoy.

I've never written down food, and I skip the bits of posts where others write down their food. I find it very triggering, as it reminds me of my calorie counting days, and not in a good way. I don't know when it became a trend to include it in daily check-ins, but it is just that - a trend, not a requirement.

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:56 am

Hi iron--thanks for stopping by.

Yeah writing my food down & seeing everything contained, kind of helped me feel calm but lately it's making me feel a little self-conscious. I noticed oolala and other successful NoSers never write their food down so think I'll follow their lead.

Also, I understand how it could be triggering for you. Sometimes if I see someone else barely ate anything on a given day, my old diet head emerges and I feel like I need to more restricting which always backfires.

Anyway, was a green day. Feels great to be back on track. I wish the structure of NoS always felt this good. Not sure why it starts to feel suffocating at some point.

My cholesterol came back just a smidgen high. I'm trying not to stress about it but rather I'm trying to add cholesterol lowering foods to each meal. Not sure if it helps but it makes me feel like I'm doing something positive. I'm guessing if I continue with my daily exercise, that'll help too.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:54 am

I think some of your insights are right on. I love your idea of focusing on being healthy and beautiful at whatever size. I think you're right, too, that eating off of regular-sized plates is way more relaxing than eating off of small plates. Just out of curiosity, what are some cholesterol lowering foods besides plant-based foods?

Heather

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:27 am

Thank you Heather!

Here's a few that supposedly help:
1) spinach
2) beans
3) tea
4) dark chocolate (yay!)
5) almonds, cashews & walnuts
6) grapefruit
7) oats
8) fish
9) calcium supplements
10) certain margarine spreads (this was surprising)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by ironchef » Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:06 am

Well done on a green day :)

Yeah, I used to read through and then my brain goes "omg, someone only had fruit for breakfast and non-fat/non-sugar coffee, I had a huge bowl of oats with PB and buttered toast and full cream milk and this can't work if I'm never moderate and blah blah diet head". So I tend to skip, except for tessy because her fruit from her garden is so kicka**.

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Post by Kookie » Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:21 am

Hi Linda!

I'm so pleased you're posting again otherwise we would've eclipsed each other. I can't tell you how much I identify with NoS feeling freeing, then claustrophobic. For me, this happens when I start getting tight around my food and the focus shifts from freedom and a love of life to wanting to lose weight! It is such a dirty TRAP!!

Actually reading what you and ironchef have said about writing down food - both in terms of it being triggering (for others) and making you feel self-conscious - is food for thought. I also find it triggering when I read others' food and can often think I should be eating less when I do so. On the other hand, my food often looks very abstemious when I write it down but if you saw it on a plate you'd see that it was cooked in sh1tloads of butter/oil!! But I'm not sure that it serves me either and may have been responsible (both reading others and writing my own) for NoS starting to feel like the old food plans or diets of old.

Anyway, suffice to say that I am of the same spirit - I love your intention to focus on being as beautiful as you can be at your current weight. And to only do exercise that you like.

I've been reading a lovely book called 'The Slowdown Diet' by Marc David. That man is a genius. There is so much in there that has changed how I view myself and eating. The main takeaway from it is that punishing/hating your body into being a certain way - through deprivation and exercise you hate - will never work. The path to a body that you love is loving the body that you have now. Means justifying the ends. Haven't explained it properly but there it is.

Thanks for your sweet words on my post.

:-)

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Post by Sinnie » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:40 pm

Hi Linda! I'm glad you mentioned the whole writing down food thing on people's checkin's. I never saw it from that perspective! Since I'm a little self conscious about posting since I'm not the poster No S child, I'll be more cognizant of that. I think I'm in the minority in that I LOVE when people post what they ate! That's one of the things I enjoyed about your check-in hehehe. It's motivating for me, especially when I see people like yourself who can contain it to three meals without snacking, since I never could. I read it and am like "oooh yummy, maybe I should try that combination since it kept her full" yadda yadda. And truthfully, I just get a kick out of seeing what other people enjoy, make, and sustain on if not from a practical perspective of making it another 6 hours. Love your thread, I always learn something new! Still link recipes sometimes though ok? ;) I just made your sesame noodles!!!

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Post by ironchef » Wed Oct 08, 2014 11:07 pm

Absolutely love the recipes I've gotten from Linda (and eschano). I've also posted recipes (like hazelnut torte). I'm totally relaxed about skipping a few lines in posts, so I hope anyone who wants to or finds it helpful will keep posting their food.

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:43 am

Oh I agree w/ iron Sinnie. Ppl should definitely feel free to do what works for them. It's easy to skip over that part & for the most part it's not triggering for me. I do enjoy seeing the different kinds of foods ppl eat from other cultures & esp enjoy the recipe exchange aspect. It's neat that we have a lot of us here that like to cook.

I think it's more about feeling others might be judgemental of what I'm eating/drinking & just needing to be a lil more protective of myself. It also allows me to be less anxious about my eating when I'm not cataloging every bite.

I'll definitely continue to post recipe when I have a good one & hope others will do the same!

Today was green but didn't get much walking in as it was raining. Always happy to have rain here though. I did get a pretty good work out at physical therapy so that's good.

I had a rough spot today when my daughter told me she didn't care if I came to the book fair luncheon or not. Yikes! It seems like just yesterday they were begging me to come to every school event and it was a big treat for them to have me on campus. It made me feel very sad but I do realize that it's part of being a sahm. They get to see me all the time so having me at school isn't such a big deal. Still, it's kind of tough feeling like they're starting to need me less. Oh well, I guess they have to grow up at some point.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by eschano » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:34 am

lpearlmom wrote: I'll definitely continue to post recipe when I have a good one & hope others will do the same!
So glad you're saying this! Your recipes are so yummy!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Post by Kookie » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:43 am

Aw Linda, that's tough. Big hug to you!! I'm sure, as you say, it's just because they are lucky enough to see a lot of you that it's not an 'event' when you witness their progress. Much much better this way round, honestly!! You seem like such a good, solid mother to your girls!!

About reading other people's food (and sorry to use your page to clear this up, Linda) I also just want to say that I often love reading what people eat and it can be hugely encouraging and make me braver about eating delicious non-diet food. If I'm in a bad place and find it triggering, that is also a good opportunity to reflect on what I need to work on in myself!

These boards are so great for teasing out various issues aren't they? And it's great Linda that you are honouring your need to protect yourself if that's how you feel.

:lol:

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Post by r.jean » Thu Oct 09, 2014 12:26 pm

I remember feeling great when my children were proud to have me there when they were younger and also the times when their friends became more important. No worry! Although there are times of the kids pulling away as they mature, they come back as adults. Once they leave home, they realize how important mom is!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

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Post by clarinetgal » Fri Oct 10, 2014 8:24 pm

I'm one who likes reading what other people eat, because it gives me ideas. :D I do hope you keep posting recipes. I can imagine that would be hard with your girls not wanting you at the event. My boys are not yet at that stage, but I can imagine that when it happens, I'll be sad, too.

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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Oct 11, 2014 4:33 am

Thanks you guys! I'm glad that posting my menu is helpful/fun to others. Maybe I'll go back to posting my food when the urge strikes me.

Thanks jean for the reminder that this is a stage. My daughter did explain later that she just didn't want me to feel obligated because this particular event wasn't particularly important to her. Hmmph or maybe she's just being kind but either way I do see a shift towards independence in my girls which I guess is ultimately what we want, right? When we are at home they are still very affectionate & cuddly and wanting of my attention. I think outside of the house they are just trying to figure out who they are when they're not with their parents.

Anyway today was good. I did get really hungry between lunch & dinner but held out. I love Fridays because the housekeeper comes, we always order out and we can stay up later since the girls don't have school the next day! Tonight my youngest daughter is at a sleepover which means no siblings quarrels. Unfortunately, DH decided to watch a totally creeper movie, Signal, and now I'm wanting her home with me! Oh well time to put on some light tv to erase this feeling!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Oct 13, 2014 6:32 am

Total over the top weekend that stared with homemade buttermilk waffles and ended with Taco Bell. In between was an amazing six-course anniversary dinner with wine pairing, lots of smoothies with my new anniversary gift, an awesome blender and many handfuls of cashews followed by dark chocolate. Ugh!

Tomorrow is Columbus Day but definitely not taking an S day. I'm hoping to get a walk in before taking my girls to a a local farm that has rides, games, etc. Will be fun but am anxious about this upcoming week.

On a whim I started this moms group on meetup.com. I didn't really think anyone would join but 10 ppl have already joined & five have rsvped to my coffee meetup this Wednesday! I'm soooooo tempted to back out but feel like I shouldn't let these ppl down. Omg why do I get myself into these things? I leap before I look, that's the problem. Oh well!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by ironchef » Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:20 am

Yum, I love "tasting menu" dinners. And Happy Anniversary!

I think it is great that you organised the coffee catch up, you never know, it might be really fun :)

clarinetgal
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Post by clarinetgal » Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:23 am

Happy Anniversary! I agree with ironchef. It could be fun. :D

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Post by Kookie » Mon Oct 13, 2014 4:30 pm

Hi Linda!

Happy anniversary! I totally understand your feelings about the coffee meet-up but I have no doubt you will enjoy it - there must've been a reason you set it up! I don't' know if it's the same but I never (EVER) want to go out socially before the event. It's automatic and I wonder why the HELL I thought it was a good idea in the first place. Looking forward to hearing how it goes!

Your meal sounds epic! How fun.

:-)

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Post by Sinnie » Mon Oct 13, 2014 5:59 pm

Can I just say that I second never, ever wanting to go out right before a social event...but then I usually do end up have a GREAT time. Always happens. I thought I was the only one! I think your meet up is an awesome idea, although I too would clearly be super nervous!

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Oct 14, 2014 2:05 am

Thank you guys! Yes I'm the same way Kookie & Sinnie! In fact, I guess DH is too because we both get tense before a social engagement & often get into a little tiff. As soon as we get there though, everything is fine!

I guess the tough part is that this is with total strangers and since I'm the one that started the group, they'll be looking to me for leadership of a sorts. I do think I should go though. It'll be good for me to do something scary. I think my friend might go with me to help ease my nerves but I'm not sure she understands what we're doing exactly. She's from japan and her English isn't very good so when we text it's hard to communicate sometimes. The last thing she texted me was " I can't wait to see everyone again" so I think maybe she thinks we're meeting up with some of our old friends. Oops. :oops:

Anyway, it'll be okay whatever I decide. Today was good. We had a fun day at the farm and tonight I made seafood gumbo which was excellent. Last night I had a dream that I was so fat, I couldn't fit through the hallway of our neighbor. I think my weight is really bothering me lately but there's nothing to do but push onward.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by aspencer27 » Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:59 pm

That'll be so fun, Linda. I have no doubts that the meetup will go great! My problem is that I am a shy extrovert - I get my energy from being around people but I really hate talking... Ha!

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Post by Kookie » Tue Oct 14, 2014 4:11 pm

Linda, that has really made me laugh out loud (your Japanese friend's text). Hilarious! Maybe best not disillusion her!! I know what you mean, you probably will be looked to for leadership initially but if you just ignore everyone's unspoken pleas to play 'host' they'll soon start chatting naturally amongst themselves, I'm sure!!

I have no doubt you will go and wonder why you didn't want to. I love ticking off 'socialising' and then feel completely justified going back to my neat little lazy life ;-)

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:49 am

Thanks aspencer! I guess I'm a talkative introvert. I like talking but definitely need alone time to re-engerize.

Kookie, I know it was pretty funny. I figured I was just going to confuse her even more if I tried to explain it via text so I just asked her to meet me earlier than everyone else. That'll give me time to explain it properly but I'm guessing she'll stay as she's just kind like that. :)

Today was good but calling it a red day. Just a taste her and there of the girls snacks/lunch as I was preparing them but want to nip that right away.

Got a short walk in plus my PT work out.

Ugh nervous about tomorrow. I know it'll be fine but I'm still secretly hoping nobody shows up!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:04 am

I always get nervous before social events, too, but they go just fine! I'm sure your event will go fine.

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:10 pm

Yay--I did it! Thanks all for the encouragement. I think that's a big part of why I went through with it. I didn't want to come here and admit defeat.

Only two ladies showed up (plus my friend stayed with me) but they were super nice & interesting. They said how nervous they had been as well so I feel great & how hard it has been to make new friends as a sahm w/ school-aged kids (that's the premise of the group).

It's such a boost of the confidence to do something scary. I need to do that more often. :)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

ironchef
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Post by ironchef » Wed Oct 15, 2014 11:26 pm

Go Linda! I'm so pleased to read this :)

Interesting that 5 RSVP'd and then only 2 came - just shows you that you're not alone in finding the occasion a bit intimidating.

You are right about doing scary things - I've always liked that quote from Dune about letting fear pass over (or through?) you, and after it has gone "only I remain".

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Post by Kookie » Thu Oct 16, 2014 5:54 pm

Yay yay yay! Good result :lol:

Well done Linda!!

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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Oct 18, 2014 3:28 am

Thanks iron & Kookie! I'm pretty happy about it. Hopefully some more people will join us next week.

Today I had an insane craving for chocolate chip cookies and I almost never have a very specific craving for anything so decided to call the rest of the day an S day. (S for pmS). I only has two cookies but then went a little overboard at dinner time. Hopefully I can make tomorrow a pretty moderate S day.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:37 pm

Rough day today. When I went to my physical therapy appt today my therapist seemed really annoyed at me when I told him my back was hurting pretty bad again. Then he went on to tell me how some clients won't get better till they take steps at home such as lose weight or eat healthier etc.

He didn't say it straight up but it was pretty obvious he was saying I needed to lose weight and by his annoyance I felt like he was blaming me for not making more progress. It was tough for me and I was on the verge of tears the entire session. I just don't think healthcare workers really understand how much time & energy most overweight women already put into losing weight.

I almost don't want to go back but I'm going to stick it out for the rest of the month because I really do want to get better. Luckily I'm learning all of the exercises & stretches so will be able to do them on my own soon.

I really want to make sure I'm doing everything to get to a healthy weight and heal my back so I'm renewing my commitment to NoS and daily exercising.

Exercise plan:
Mwf-20 min walk; 1 hr pilates & back exercises
T/th-1 hr bike ride; 20 min back exercise
Sat or Sun--hike, walk, swim or bike w family (1 day rest)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:41 am

I'm glad your gathering went well! :D That's too bad, about the physical therapist. :( It sounds like he was very insensitive, to say the least. Your exercise plan looks good!

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Post by eschano » Tue Oct 21, 2014 10:28 am

Delighted to read about your new group! Well done!

As for the therapist: there's a reason why AA works so well (bear with me, I'm not really comparing alcoholism with weight loss but...) because they use sponsors, people who actually went through it. I think that's why NoS works too. It's like having lots and lots of sponsors who actually struggled or struggle with the same issues.

Physiotherapists are often in the super-healthy camp by definition so what would he know!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Post by r.jean » Tue Oct 21, 2014 12:48 pm

If health care providers knew how many overweight people avoid going to the doctor because of insensitive comments, they might tone down their "advice." There is nothing wrong with discussing weight as a factor in certain conditions, but it can be done without coming off as self-righteous and judgmental!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Oct 22, 2014 5:44 am

Thanks so much for the support Heather, eschano, & r. Jean. I don't think I'm going to go back. The X-rays showed no structural issues with my spine which is great. I just need to strengthen my core & stretch, stretch, stretch. All of which I can & will do at home. He was a jerk. Not just to me but I saw him getting annoyed with other people who weren't making improvements fast enough.

It's weird, I thought the patients were the ones who were supposed to be getting impatient with slow progress. I know I should go back and tell him how much he upset me & normally that's just the kind of thing I would do but I seemed to have mellowed a bit lately. I'm learning to pick my battles. Some people just aren't worth it.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by Kookie » Wed Oct 22, 2014 11:07 am

Hey Linda!

I'm so glad you've decided not to go back to that jerk!! What an absolutely fool! Argh, that makes me so mad - no wisdom, no compassion and full of his own self-importance! And what's more, he is ignorant because if he had taken the time to talk to you he would realise that you are absolutely doing everything right food-wise. It's high time that our world started to realise that weight loss is a complex issue and that we are not simple calories in/calories out machines. And that 98% of all weight loss diets FAIL. Why is that not headline news?!?

Anyway, I hear you on picking your battles. When he has no patients he might start to self-reflect although by the sounds of it, I doubt it!

Linda, you're such a rock and so sane and I want to encourage you to keep going and enjoy the ride. Feeling under pressure to lose weight is just so miserable. I am talking to myself too when I say all this, as you know. I too have to reinstate my physiotherapy regime as I have terrible hip and shoulder and neuroma issues - grrr. I have a funny feeling that when I start to move (vs. EXERCISE) in ways that I enjoy, my body will respond positively.

Big hug

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Post by r.jean » Wed Oct 22, 2014 1:53 pm

You could consider asking for a different physical therapist. This would give him and the clinic he works for a message! On the other hand, if you have gained the knowledge to do it on your own, go for it!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

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Post by halfmoon_mollie » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:58 pm

Huzzah! Good for you!

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:36 am

Thank you Kookie! You're such a sweetie & always make me feel validated.

Thank you also half-moon for the encouragement!

Jean, yeah that's pretty much what I'm thinking as well. I'm going to try it at home myself for a couple of weeks but if I need to go back I'm going to request a different therapist. I will be honest if they ask me why.

He was also a bit inappropriate in other ways. When he found out DH was a surgeon, he kept making jokes about me buying him expensive gifts. He also gave me hard time for not driving a fancier car. I know he was just joking around but it was kind of crossing the line IMO.

Anyway my eating has been really tame but I'm planning a big Halloween party for my girls this weekend so my exercise hasn't been as much as I'd like. I'm planning on going on a nice long walk with the doggies tomorrow though. It's finally cooling down a bit--yay!

I hope to catch up on everyone's thread once the party is over!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Thu Oct 23, 2014 5:57 am

Wow, it sounds like he is in the wrong field. :( . I hope you have a good party!

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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Oct 23, 2014 6:05 am

Thank you so much Heather! I know he was really nice at first but then I noticed he was only nice on the days I said I was feeling better. Odd, odd, odd!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by r.jean » Thu Oct 23, 2014 1:51 pm

Sounds like he is rather socially inept. He sounds like some people I know. They are crass and do not seem to realize how they come across. In some ways I feel more empathy toward him now because he may really not know how innappropriate he sounds. However, I would agree that he should not be in the field he is in without some improvement in this area.
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

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Post by Kookie » Wed Oct 29, 2014 12:50 pm

Hi Linda!

I hope you're doing well. You're probably busy with your Hallowe'en prep!

Hope you have fun.


:D

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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Nov 04, 2014 3:47 am

Thanks for checking on me Kookie! The day of the Halloween party DH got a call from his mom saying his Dad wasn't doing well. He left that afternoon and the next day his Dad passed away. The girls and I left for CA Thursday morning so we could be there for the service on Friday. We got back last night.

It's so sad but not completely unexpected. He was a wonderful man & an amazing father. DH gave an amazing eulogy & broke down in tears which is very out of character for him. It's been tough but also bringing our family closer--immediate & extended. I'm proud of myself for keeping everything together & helping the girls through this while Dh was gone. Sometimes I feel like he's the glue that keeps us together but knowing I could effectively deal with a tough situation was very reassuring.

Anyway I haven't been able to bring myself to stick to NOS but I've been leaning towards healthier, lighter meals and just trying to be a bit more active. I realize this doesn't have to be an all or nothing endeavor. I'm pretty sure I didn't gain this weight all at once or for one single reason so there's no reason I can't undo this little by little with small, consistent steps.

Thinking in this way feels very empowering and I guess that's what I need right now.

Thanks again for checking in on me kookie. I'll take a peek at your thread & see how you're doing later tonight.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by clarinetgal » Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:23 am

I'm sorry for your DH's loss. That's good that you were able to keep things together, while your DH was gone. I completely agree about making little changes! I think anything you can do towards better health is a good thing.

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Post by ironchef » Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:51 am

Oh Linda, I'm really sorry to hear of your loss.

I'm glad that your family was able to support one another. I'm sure knowing you were sorting everything out on the home front made this tough time that little bit easier for your DH.

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Post by MerryKat » Tue Nov 04, 2014 11:25 am

So sorry for your DH & your family's loss.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
Hugs from Sunny South Africa
Vanilla No S with no Sugar due to Health issues - 11 yrs No S - September 2016 (some good, some bad (my own doing) but always the right thing for me!)

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Nov 08, 2014 5:57 am

Oh thanks so much iron, Heather & kat. Definitely the hardest part of life but considering the alternative...to never have been at all...I'll take the pain that comes with being human any day. Life is so beautiful & awe-inspiring even on our darkest days.

Anyway! My back is getting worse but I'm determined to get better. I have a doctor appt next week with a new doctor and in the meantime am following the Mckenzie method (recommended by DH) with new earnestness.

I'm continuing the spirit of NoS with its focus on moderation but with a little more flexibility. I was really inspired by my favorite cookbook author Pam Anderson's (not the actress) weightloss story so have been loosely following Her plan & recipes which are about being realistic (what you can & can't live without), self-care & moderation. Oh yeah and plenty of enjoyable exercise which is hard for me right now due to my back pain but hopefully that'll come around soon.

Here's how my day looked today:
Break: toast w/ pb, tea
Lunch: ww chicken burrito w beans & veggies--no cheese
Snack: 2 ww mini muffins (homemade), glass of milk
Dinner: gyro
Dessert: jasmine tea w 4 lemon thins

Exercise: 25 min walk, lots of back exercise (every 2 hrs)

Oh & here's the book! I know it's not Nos but the recipes are great!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00486UF6Q?btkr=1
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Post by Tessytwinkle » Thu Nov 13, 2014 5:18 am

Hi Linda. Hope your doing ok? You've had a hard time lately. Sorry to hear about your family's loss of a loved one. Also concerned your back is bad. I know how that feels. Keep doing the exercises. They will help :)
(((((Hugs ))))) tessy

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Post by clarinetgal » Thu Nov 13, 2014 7:44 am

Hi! Sorry to hear about your back. :( I hope you can find some relief soon. Your eating plan looks good. I think factoring in the things you can or can't live without is important.
Take care!

Heather

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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Nov 15, 2014 2:37 am

Tessy so good to hear from you! Thank you for your kind words. I've been wondering about you. I've been just experiencing a lot of pain in my back & joints and am pretty sure losing weight would help a lot yet food is also a source of comfort so it's a tough situation. Not sure how to get out of this.

I can stick to the basics of NoS but can't seem to change the type of food and drink enough to lose much weight.

Sometimes I even find myself contemplating weightloss surgery but would be hard pressed to explain that to my kids. Anyway Tessy, I would love to hear how you are managing these days. Hope you're well.

Heather, thanks so much for the well wishes. I haven't been around much lately but hope things are going well for you.

Dh took me on a 3 1/2 mile hike today and boy am I out of shape! I feel like I'm falling apart all of the sudden. My back hurts, my feet, my knees...I really need to pull myself together and find a way to be healthy again.

It's a hard thing for me to face because for most of my life I was very active and healthy. I think I still have that old image of me in my head but I'm definitely out of shape and I really need to do everything in my power to get some of this weight off of me.

I haven't been following NoS but I think it's time to re-commit with maybe some limits on what I'm putting on my plate and glass as well. I really enjoyed our hike today so will definite do more of that as well.

Ugh, why does this have to be so tough?
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

automatedeating
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Post by automatedeating » Mon Nov 17, 2014 12:01 am

Hi Linda!

My condolences on the loss of your Father-in-law. I hope your husband is weathering this tough time, OK, too.

I would recommend it's time for another spa day for you, my dear! Supporting your family through this loss, deaing with that jerk of a physical therapist, and your ongoing discouragement about your weight. yep! spa time! :)

I actually get a massage once a month now. It's in my budget, and I count it as LAM--I hope I'm not projecting too much of my own issues on you, but I think that sometimes it takes many years of putting everyone else first before our own health starts to obviously show problems. I think in some cases, weight gain is directly related to not thinking that we deserve as much self-care as the amount that we know everyone else needs in order to thrive.

Anyway, I think you're amazing. Wise, funny, smart as hell, and the perfect hostess. :)
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
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Post by clarinetgal » Mon Nov 17, 2014 3:46 am

Linda, I'm sorry you're going through a tough time with your health. I can certainly relate to some of what you are saying. I second everything Auto said.

Heather

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Post by eschano » Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:26 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss Linda!

The hike sounds lovely and I find hikes quite healing. So doing more sounds good to me.

You're doing much better than you think.
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again January 2021

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:46 pm

Thanks so much auto, eschano & Heather! Your kindness & support means so much to me!

Auto, I think your right on target. I definitely put everyone in my family's needs first. It's hard for me to change but I feel like my body is screaming at me to change & I need to listen. It's forcing me to ask for help. I have to ask DH to carry stuff for me now & even asked him to come to Costco with me so he could carry the heavy stuff. I'm also learning to take breaks when I'm standing too long instead of pushing through the pain like I normally would.

So maybe this is a blessing in disguise and just the wake up call I needed. I definitely see a spa day in my future. Hopefully I can fit one in before Thanksgivibg as we have family coming to stay with us so a lot to do!

Eschano, I agree about the hiking. It feels so good to be out in nature. I think the late fall/winter is an energizing time for us Arizonians. It's like Spring for other parts of the world. Feels so nice to be able to outside again!

I'm feeling much better today. I had a lot of pain after the hike but feeling much better now. Still have back pain but am able to sleep through the night at least. Ive been going to a chiropractor and she's great. Super supportive & positive. No blame towards me whatsoever. I'm also doing gentle yoga exercises for my back which seem to help too. Im starting to feel hopeful that I will be able to turn this around.

My eating has been really great too for some reason. I've just been to distracted to overeat and am feeling a little lighter these days. I'm re-committing to NoS with a few mods.

Also, I found a good solution for my mocha cravings. There's a sipping chocolate at Trader Joes that is very low-sugar. I only need a couple of tablespoons in my coffee w a little steamed milk. It only adds about 70 calories so I'll take it! On days that I hike, I'm treating myself to my starbucks mocha (nonfat/no whip). Here's my plan:

Weekdays:
Breakfast: oatmeal w fruit & milk or Greek yogurt w granola & fruit, coffee
Lunch: veg burger, baked chips, piece of fruit (small plate).
Dinner: whatever family is eating (regular plate). 1-2 glasses wine ok

Tuesday's: light day
Break: oatmeal w fruit & rice milk
Lunch: fruit smoothie w rice milk
Dinner: veg soup
Snacks of fruit other than bananas okay

Weekends/S days
Break: reg plate anything
Lunch: reg plate anything
Snack: saucer of anything
Dinner: reg plate anything
Dessert: saucer anything
Drinks: 3-4 of anything

Exercise: 3 days hiking, yoga stretches
Other days: walk dogs, strengthening/stretch 30 mins

I'm going to do a week long cleanse the beginning of each season. Im going to try to check in again most days.

Yesterday:
Break: egg mc muffin, hash browns
Lunch: shrimp cocktail, Apple
Snack: yogurt parfait
Dinner: homemade pizza, iced tea
(We got a new BBQ for making pizzas-so fun!!!
Last edited by lpearlmom on Wed Nov 19, 2014 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:56 am

Green Day 1/90--trying for 90 green days.

Break: yogurt, granola, fruit, coffee
Lunch: veg burger, baked chips, dip
Dinner: hamburgers, guacamole & chips

Exercise: back exercises
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Wed Nov 19, 2014 4:04 am

Green 2/90

Break: oatmeal w fruit & rice milk, coffee w rice milk
Lunch: all fruit smoothie
Snack: bowl of mango slices
Dinner: tomato & orzo soup, chunk of bread
Snack: tea w rice milk, bowl of tropical fruit

Exercises: walk 30 mins; yoga 30 mins

Had a chiro appt today and felt very encouraged. She spent a lot of time going over my X-rays with me & explained everything to me way more than either my doctor or my PT ever did. I'm so grateful to her.

She also sent to a speciality foot place and they spent over an hour with me helping me to find the correct shoes for bone spurs and proper alingment of my body which should help w everything. I walked out w four of the best fitting shoes I've ever owned--yay!! Things are looking up.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Nov 20, 2014 3:20 am

Green day 3/90

Break: yogurt parfait, coffee
Lunch: veg burger, cup of soup, Apple
Dinner: grilled cheese, chips & guacamole, small bowl of granola

Exercise: 30 mins walk dogs, 75 min hike
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Nov 21, 2014 6:12 am

4/90

Break: yogurt parfait , coffee
Lunch: veg burger, chips & salsa, granola
Dinner: hamburger, fries

Exercise: 20 min walk, 30 min back exercises/stretch

Crazy busy day... So much to do before T-day!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Sat Nov 22, 2014 6:46 am

5/90

Break: granola w rice milk & fruit
Lunch: fish tacos, 1 stuffed mushroom
Dinner: subway sandwich, baked chips

Exercise: 20 min back exercise
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

clarinetgal
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Location: Western Washington State

Post by clarinetgal » Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:10 am

You're doing great! :D I'm glad the chiropractor was so helpful!

LoriLifts
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Post by LoriLifts » Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:52 pm

HAPPY THANKSGIVING LINDA!!!
Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.

Tessytwinkle
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Post by Tessytwinkle » Thu Nov 27, 2014 6:17 am

Hi linda. Just checking in with you. I hope you are feeling ok? Aching, pain and feeling stiff and unwell is so grim. But you are such a doer I know you will find your way to better health. Backs take time. But with the right exercise they do get better. Your food is yummy as always and your exercise regime is strong I feel. Also, could not agree more about good shoes- yeah!!!! It took me years to realise that I needed to have good shoes. I have never looked back.
Linda you are always a strong thread of support for me and that draws me back into,this forum. Bless you for that. Keep plugging away, yummy food carefully planned and enjoyable exercise. It will get you through :) tessy

FrazzledTeacher
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Post by FrazzledTeacher » Thu Nov 27, 2014 8:25 am

I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly but I find reading what others are eating is really helpful. Thank you
Pleased to start on this exciting journey.

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:38 am

Thank you Heather & walkerlori!

Tessy it always makes me happy when I see you're posting again! Yes I'm not giving up on finding a solution to my backpain!

Frazzled: thanks for stopping by & you did post correctly ðŸ‘

We've had company since Tuesday so haven't had time to post. Been a fun few days but overeating & underexercing have left me anxious to get back into my normal routine. Cooking thanksgiving dinner was fun but exhausting. Everyone really enjoyed themselves though so was worth it.

The next evening we made wood fire pizzas and drank lots of wine. Saturday morning we made a huge breakfast for everyone including blueberry pancakes, breakfast pizza, & pizza eggs. Today we rode our quads & then went out for massive amounts of sushi. Ugh! I'm ready to have my house back & the sanity of NoS!

My back is still hurting but seems to be improving through The Tennis Ball Method of all things! Sounds too good to be true but I'm willing to try just about anything at this point.

Here's the link to the book if anyone's interested: http://www.amazon.com/Amazing-Tennis-Ba ... 8&sr=&qid=
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:50 am

Feels great to be back on track but annoyed with myself for overdoing it these last few days. I feel like I was just eating because others were most of the time. Also my moms constant chatter about her weight (she's thin) & eating too much (not) drove me to eat more than I normally would.

Oh well back to normal today!

Break: oatmeal w fruit, coffee
Lunch: veg burger, green beans & tomatoes
Dinner: plate of Vietnamese food (so good), iced coffee

Exercise: walked 1/2 hr
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

clarinetgal
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Location: Western Washington State

Post by clarinetgal » Thu Dec 04, 2014 8:35 am

Hi! It sounds like you had a busy and fun time with company, but I'll bet it's nice to get back to normal again.
Take care!
Heather

Tessytwinkle
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Post by Tessytwinkle » Thu Dec 04, 2014 10:25 pm

Hi Linda. Oh dear I know what you mean about eating too much when other people are around!! Especially particular people :( I've got my in laws coming this weekend. The talk will be all about diets and how thin we should be. I shall feel big, frumpy and rather clumsy. And I shall definitely eat too much!!! Crazy. Glad your are now back to some normality :) I wish I lived nearby I loved the sound of wood fire pizza :) look after that back !!

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:34 pm

Well just wanted to pop on here and wish everyone a Happy New Years!

Been an interesting few weeks. I just couldn't do NoS anymore or didn't want to I guess and read "Have your cake and skinny jeans too". It's yet another intuitive eating book and for a few days it went great. I was definitely eating a lot less but inevitably it backfired on me and I had a few days of overeating (I stopped truly binging years ago, luckily).

Sooo I re-visited the fat nutrtionist website and really connected with it. She follows the Ellyn Satter philosophy but has a better understanding of how a veteran dieter has to approach it. I could never do intuitive eating because it doesn't have enough structure. On the other hand I had trouble following the planned, mindful meal/snack approach because it felt like a diet and caused me to want to rebel.

This approach is slightly different because you always eat something at the set times which for me is 8:30am, 12pm, 3:30 pm and 7pm but you also have permission to graze in between meals if you choose to do so. Well at first I did quite a lot of grazing but gradually as the safety of my regular meals begun to sunk in, I've just naturally preferred to wait for my mealtimes because it's more enjoyable to be a little hungry. I'm also learning to go in and out of gentle hunger and gentle fullness throughout the day instead of from extreme hunger to very full. It's nice.

Michelle (fat nutrtionist) also talks about checking in now and then with your eating if your not quite comfortable with the intensity of complete mindful eating. This has helped me a lot by giving me an alternative.

At meals you can eat what you want and as much as you want. I simply ask myself if I want more and I honestly find myself stopping much sooner than expected.

I'm not expecting to lose weight but know deep down I'm not comfortable with any approach that has that as its goal. Weird I know. But I can't bring myself to say being fat is wrong or ugly and everytime I diet, that's what I'm really saying. I like this approach because it's about love, trust and acceptance.

NoS definitely helped me with my journey And I'm so happy it's worked for so many people. But ultimately its not the right solution for me at this time.

Good luck to everyone and hope everyone has a terrific year!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

clarinetgal
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Location: Western Washington State

Post by clarinetgal » Sat Jan 03, 2015 7:18 am

Good luck to you! It sounds like you have found something that works for you. I wish you the best!

oolala53
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Post by oolala53 » Sat Jan 03, 2015 6:33 pm

Not having losing weight as a goal doesn't sound weird to me at all. I didn't come to No S for that, though it has happened, and it can wear on me that that's what drives most of the interest.

I like Ellyn Satter A LOT, though I don't know her work deeply. I've seen the fat nutritionist's site, and like it a lot, too. I'm glad her voice is out there. It makes a nice complement to the direly serious and the lightly outraged.

Funny, but what you describe sounds like No S to me. I guess the difference of feeling like you could choose to snack or have more meals/servings was essential to you every day rather than just on S days, so it seems major, but I see it as an element of No S. But it doesn't matter; you've found your "tribe;" doesn't mean you want to go to war with this tribe. We basically speak the same language, just a different dialect. Have a wonderful time!

By the way, do you engage in some kind of formal support system of other people using those principals? Or is it mostly reading and reflecting on your own? I am the leader of a binge-free online team and I like knowing of some supportive sites as alternatives. We operate on a huge weight loss site; there's not many different teams there who don't worship the gods of calorie counting, elimination, and weight loss.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jan 04, 2015 7:34 am

Thank you heather! I'll definitely still be checking on you everyone to see how everyone's doing. It's hard to give up my daily habit of coming on hear!

Oolala thank you so much for your response. I always felt encouraged knowing that you were here mainly to have sanity with your eating and not necessarily to lose weight at least not as your main priority. It's always a nice perk if it happens though because it's just easier to live in this society in a smaller body.

I guess the differences between nos and what I'm trying to do our somewhat subtle but the shift towards permission and trust feel hugely different to me. The main goal of Nos is really to get you to eat less so you will lose weight. It does so in the most gentle, sensible, sustainable way possible but in the end it's really just another diet.

Which is perfectly fine but philosophically I'm opposed to the notions of diets. I can't tell my two girls diets are bad, beauty comes it all sizes and be on a diet at the same time. Also, I believe the main reason people overeat is because of restriction. Either in response to past restrictions or fear of future restrictions. When full permission is given and food is consistently provided ( ie regular meals) I believe most people's eating will normalize. It is then they can begin to put their energies elsewhere.

I see this all the time with my kids who will regularly turn down sweets because they've had enough.

Anyway I'm really going on a tangent here but as you can see yes I've done quite a lot of thinking and researching although I still have a lot to figure out. Namely where exercise fits into all this among other things. And no I'm not on any formal message board or anything but reading comments from Michelle's blog has helped me.

BTw hope I haven't offended anyone. I really don't mean to bash nos or any other choice anyone has made. We each have to find our own path don't we?
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

gingerpie
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Post by gingerpie » Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:16 pm

It all sounds completely sensible to me. :D no offense taken. I'm happy you are following your path and finding your way. Good luck.

eschano
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Post by eschano » Tue Jan 06, 2015 11:53 am

Happy New Year Linda!

I've actually done something similar to your plan from mid-December and it worked well enough as I didn't gain any weight, even though I chose to graze on chocolates :oops: Allowing myself to do so meant that I ate a lot less of them than I would have usually. I think this permission is very important. Part of why NoS works well for me is because I do give myself permission to snack if it's really worthwhile.

I love all the changes you made to take care of your body and the chiro sounds very helpful!
eschano - Vanilla rocks!

July 2012- January 2016
Started again January 2021

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lpearlmom
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Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jan 08, 2015 5:58 pm

Thank you ginger pie and eschano! Happy new year to you both! :D
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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