Linda's daily check-in

[lpearlmom]

Thanks so much for the kind words Oolala, blessing, cookie & Merry!

I'm feeling very overwhelmed with the post-vacation state of affairs. The control freak in me is not handling the huge pile of laundry, or the mess on our sideboard and god knows what shape are budget is in at the moment. My mil & mom left today so I did get a little bit done but not nearly enough. Hopefully tomorrow!

To be honest I don't know what I'm doing exactly food-wise either. I'm having a little trouble getting back to vanilla nos. On my trip I got into the habit of munching on a few pieces of caramels while we were driving and it seems to still be continuing. Also, I find myself eating a lot less than I used to eat.

Now that I've experienced the feeling of not feeling fat, I want to see how far I can go. Can I really get to a place in which I feel completely good in my skin? That would be awesome. Dangerous territory maybe to be trying to eat less but I'm pretty sure I'll ride this train as far as it'll take me.

Break: piece of low-carb toast w cream cheese & tomato, green tea latte
Lunch: 2 handful black bean chips w 1/4 avocado, watermelon
Dinner: small plate of Indian food

[LifeisaBlessing]

Hi Linda!

Ugh--I absolutely hate that back-from-vacation chaos in the laundry and mess piles department. Just keep gradually plugging away at it, and it will get done eventually.

I think eating less if it's comfortable for you and not stressing you out too much is a great approach. Enjoy the train ride (I like the visual), and you may be pleasantly surprised that you'll be happy with less.

[Jen1974]

It is SO HARD to come back from vacation!!! I love camping!! What a fun vacation!! I love the story about how you started seeing something different in the mirror!! Love that you are at such a really great place (: Are you going to start bike riding again now that you are back? I've been biking a lot lately & absolutly love it!! Good to have you back Linda!! You are such a great part of this board & I missed your posts while you were away!!

[lpearlmom]

Blessing: thanks for the supportive words! Yeah to be honest I'm just not that interested in food right now. This is not normal for me. Maybe it's from the reflux or just because I'm so busy right now but I couldn't even finish my toast this morning. Weird but I'll enjoy it while it lasts!

Thanks Jen! It was a fantastic trip and I think I caught the camping bug. I'm already planning our next trip although it'll be much shorter. Since you travel a lot let me know if you have any tips for transitioning back to the non-vacation realm. Glad you're enjoying biking. I'm missing it and plan to start up Monday. It's crazy hot with lows in the 80s but I'm going to try.

I'm enjoying my new body image but still can't figure it out. My tops seem looser and my stomach seems a lot flatter yet I'm still wearing the same size pants. I'm afraid to weigh myself because I'm worried it'll mess with me mentally no matter what the number says. I'm guessing maybe I lost another 5 lbs but why would that change my self-image so drastically. Oh well, one of those mysteries I guess.

Tomorrow is my endoscopy and I'm super nervous! Luckily its first thing in the morning so I won't have to sit around stressing about it all day. I got a ton done today so feeling much better about things. Looking at my budget was a little depressing but I'll just cut back for a couple of months to get back to where we were pre-trip/party.


Break: piece of low-carb toast w cream cheese, sf chai
Lunch: veggie sandwich w couple handful bean chips
Dinner: salad w lf dressing, vegan muffin, glass milk

[LifeisaBlessing]

Good luck with the endoscopy Linda--let us know how everything goes.

[Jen1974]

Good luck with the endoscopy Linda--let us know how everything goes.

I second that!!!

[lpearlmom]

Thanks Blessing & Jen! It went well and was very painless. The doctor said everything looked pretty good. Just a little inflammation but no major damage. The test results will show if I have h-pyloris or not which would mean I had an ulcer that healed maybe.

I'm really relieved there was no permanent damage. Hopefully I can go off the meds soon.

I took an S day and definitely ate more than usual probably for comfort. Oh well I'll get back on track tomorrow.

Break: turkey bacon break sandwich, green tea latte
Lunch: turkey-avo sandwich on low-carb bread, sm.bowl of yogurt, granola & fruit
Snack: handful of nuts, couple bites of ice cream
Dinner: 1/2 grilled chicken sandwich, few fries, handful chips
Dessert: frozen yogurt

[Jen1974]

Hooray for the good news!! You deserved an S day after that!!

Noticed you talked about shirts feeling bigger, but not needing smaller pants. One time I gained quite a bit of weight, got up to my biggest non pregnant weight & wondered why my pants all were a little short. I found as I lost the weight that the same pants still fit but they just kept moving lower on my hips (: For me looser shirts have always been a better indicator (:

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Jen! Yeah I don't know whats going on but things have definitely shifted around. I have small hips & legs but and a big stomach so I think I just got used to things being snug on my tummy. Now my stomach is finally the right size for the pants I've been wearing.

Yesterday was a red day. I'm kind of annoyed with myself but I think I'm just adjusting to getting back from vacation and having guests. I also think the weighing dilemma was stressing me out a bit. On top of it all I wasn't sure if I was going back to vanilla nos or doing something more similar to when I was on vacation.

Anyway I decided to zero my scale again since I'm feeling pretty good where I am, I can just keep an eye on things and make sure I don't gain. Of course I'd still love to lose another 10-20 lbs but it's not essential to my feeling better. I'm also going to do the following:

1 vanilla nos with exception of 1 lollipop/day
2 eat same basic meals/day unless something comes up i.e. Lunch date
Break: smoothie or yogurt parfait or oatmeal or poached egg w toast
Lunch: sandwich, chips, fruit or soup w toast, fruit
Dinner: small plate of whatever I'm serving family
3 allow to caloric drinks/day i.e. Latte, milk, wine
4 S days allow two treats/day but need to be contained on small plate
5 bike ride 3-4x/week and try to add some light weights 2x/wk
6 weigh 1/wk only
7 absolutely NO picking while cooking!
8 reward for every 21 green days (first reward--new bathing suit)

Okay I'm going to stick with that for 3 months and see how it goes. I'll reassess at that time and see if I want to make any changes.

Here's yesterday:

Break: yogurt parfait, green tea latte
Lunch: popcorn, watermelon
Dinner: veggie stir-fry w rice medley, glass milk
Red moments: several pieces of chocolate, couple bites of ice cream, picking while cooking 😳

[lpearlmom]

Ugh, today did not go so well. Overate and I'm worried I'll regain some of the weight lost. It's also not good for my reflux when I overdo it so lose-lose situation today.

But tomorrow's another chance to do better. I'll try.

Break: oatmeal, fruit, chai
Lunch: stir-fry w rice, sf chai
Snack: nectarine, handful trail mix, glass milk
Dinner: bowl of gumbo w rice
Dessert: 4 oatmeal cookies w glass milk

So it would have been a sane S day if it weren't for the fact that I kept tasting the dal I was making and it filled me up even before I ate dinner. Why can't I break this habit??

[lpearlmom]

Much better day today *phew*. Feeling back on track but it's good to remember the importance of riding out the tough times. Things eventually do get back on track. I guess that's what a true commitment really is.

Went to my therapist yesterday for the first time in about a month. I always have to talk myself into going but I'm always glad I went. It just takes a lot of emotional energy. Was a really good session. Anyway not sure what that has to do with NoS but it's good to be making progress in other areas of my life too.

My reflux is fairly under control but not sure if I'll ever be able to eat like I used to eat & drink. No more coffee, limited alcohol, sparkling drinks, spicy food & fried food. I guess it could be worse. I'm trying to wean myself off the ppi meds because I've read how awful they are for you. Today I took Zantac instead which isn't as bad (or as strong) and I did fine. We shall see.

Break: chai
Lunch: 1/2 veg sandwich, handful chips, plum
Dinner: bowl of gumbo & rice
Dessert: large froyo

Going to try to get up early for a bike ride but going to be tough as I've been sleeping in lately. Slept till 10 today! 😊

[LifeisaBlessing]

Hi Linda--Sorry that this is late in coming, but fantastic news on your endoscopy results!!! And glad that the therapy session went well. If you're like me at all, I think part of the battle with food/diet/eating can also be tied up in other issues, and we may not even realize it. So it's good to work on everything since it's all tied together, so to speak.

And no worries over the bad days; just mark it and move on. There is always tomorrow, or even the next meal to get back on track.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Blessing! I agree unraveling the emotional stuff helps with the eating/body image stuff.

Ugh, another red day. Bathing suit shopping was my undoing I think. The first one looked pretty good on me actually but the next few, not so much. I think I'm frustrated that I've worked do hard and lost quite a bit of weight yet it's still hard to find a bathing suit I look decent in. Will I ever be completely happy with my weight ? Will I always have to work hard at keeping my weight down? Is it worth it? If I'm asking all these questions, am I even doing nos correctly or have I gone into traditional diet mode?

I'm clearly struggling a bit. At what point do we stop trying to lose weight and just say it's good enough. I dunno. It's hard because I really thrive on the positive feedback I get when ppl notice my weightloss and I'm really really enjoying feeling "normal", not having to shop in plus sized stores, being able to look in a full length mirror, wearing cute clothes etc and I just want more and more of those good feelings.

It would be awesome to just say okay I'm done, I'm just going to focus on maintenance and enjoy my progress thus far. Maybe I will try that for a bit.

Break: 2 pieces toast w pb, sf chai
Lunch: couple handful black bean chips, yogurt w granola & fruit, green tea latte
Snack (red): granola bar
Dinner: chipotle chick salad
Red: bowl of cherries, 2 chocolate mochis

Exercise: 30 min bike ride; 20 min walk; played in pool

[knitapeace]

Hi Linda, I think bathing suit shopping can derail even the most confident among us. I hope you'll be able to see all your progress and feel proud of that. I'm just impressed that you have a daily check in thread that's 24 pages long!!

[moonbat69]

"knitapeace"....I'm just impressed that you have a daily check in thread that's 24 pages long!!

I couldn't agree more. Very impressive.

For most of us working on weight loss, wearing a bathing suit is an anxiety trigger of the largest magnitude. I'm very self conscious about wearing mine, but next month when I go to Mexico, I'm going to wear it the best I can. With confidence.

Best wishes!

[ironchef]

So glad to hear no permanent harm done Linda.

At my heaviest and lightest I have always hated shopping for a bathing suit. If it's not my weight it's cellulite, or my pasty skin, or my visible veins, etc. i don't think any amount of watching what I eat will change that.

[lpearlmom]

I'm just impressed that you have a daily check in thread that's 24 pages long!!

Lol thanks! I know it's a little crazy but I think it helps to keep me (somewhat) sane.

I've really been struggling the last few days on many levels. I haven't been able to stick to NoS and just feeling kind of fuzzied brained and overwhelmed. It just feels like there's always so much to do with the house and the laundry and my never ending to-do list. Normally I'm able to kick things in high gear when I'm feeling like this but I've been crazy tired lately for some reason.

I think I've been having troubles sticking to NoS for a couple of reasons. Part of it is because I lost a little weight on my trip without sticking to NoS so I'm doubting its importance. Another reason is my frustration and not being a smaller size despite my hard work and commitment.

So I had a little talk with myself. First of all, the main reason I started NoS is still very valid. It took away all my constant obsessing & craziness over food. I do not want to go down that road again. Also, it gave me a framework for losing a good chunk of weight. Once those habits were entrenched, I was able to tweak things to help take the extra weight off.

Secondly, I'm perfectly fine how I am. I read online that a large percentage men prefer a size 12 (my current size) so what's the big deal, right? Not that I'm trying to attract a man but it helps to keep things into perspective.

Soooo....I'm going to focus on my habits to keep the food sanity in check. Eat healthy & work on my fitness goals to feel good. If I'm doing all that and sticking to my 3 plates, there's no way my body can be wrong or I should feel bad about what I weigh. In fact, I should be proud of how well I'm taking care of myself and should deserve to be proud of my body.

So that's that! As far as the bathing suit situation. Thank you all for helping me see this a common problem for women. I'm writing it off as bad lighting/mirror angles. I have a perfectly cute bathing suit at home that I'll just stick with for now.

Okay *phew* here's to a better day!

[lpearlmom]

Wow so sad about France....

Did have a green day.

Break: no sugar muffin, green tea latte
Lunch: popcorn, d coke ( movies)
Dinner: pork chops, cauliflower "rice", salad, melon, green tea latte

Exercise: 45 min bike ride

Reflux acting up. Gotta kick this caffeine habit me thinks.

[lpearlmom]

Red day and up 3.5 lbs...also overdid it on caffeine. Ugh!

Break: fruit
Lunch: salad with nf dressing, green tea latte
Dinner: fruit, 1/2 salad, couple bites of salmon, sf chai
Red: pint of Arctic zero :/

[Emmama]

Red: pint of Arctic zero :/

I used to love this stuff. I bought some so I could have a little spoonful any time I had a craving for ice cream, but since I started the NoS diet it has lost some of its appeal...now on S days I head straight for the Blue Bell.

[oolala53]

I was gone a week and checking and responding only sporadically. Even in that time, you've gone through a lot!

I like the place you've landed as of now, though my opinion is only that. I just like feeling I've got some company in resisting the machine.

[lpearlmom]

Hi Emma! Yeah that artic zero stuff is pretty good but it does give you the false sense that you can eat a lot of it. Then of course you finish the whole carton & consumed a few hundred calories. Maybe it's better to just eat a small portion of the real stuff.

Oolala I know! You should try living with this crazy brain of mine. It's exhausting! But yes I'm in a good place right now. Now I just gotta work on staying there. 👍

Good day today. Relaxing & peaceful. My eating was good but I didn't get up early enough to bike ride. Tomorrow! I'm working really hard to not pick while I prepare food. It's the last piece of the puzzle in my quest for peace with food. Did pretty good today with it.

Break: 2 vegan pancakes, banana, "coffee" (coffee substitute w almond milk)
Snack: vegan banana muffin, glass of almond milk
Lunch: salad w salmon, "coffee"
Snack: muffin
Dinner: chicken and zucchini noodle caprese (was really good!)
http://www.skinnytaste.com/chicken-zucc ... e-caprese/

[oolala53]

Oh, it's pretty crazy up in here, too. On the body thing, it's pretty much the exception NOT to be damaged in this culture. Thankfully, it's manageable, too.

[lpearlmom]

On the body thing, it's pretty much the exception NOT to be damaged in this culture.

Ain't that your truth! It's good to remember too. Even those women who appear to have "perfect" bodies, probably have moments of body angst as well. The only real answer is self love/acceptance.

Today went well..till after dinner when I overdid it a bit. Dumb because it could trigger my reflux. Oh well tomorrow's an N day. Yay!

Break: an egg w avocado toast, fruit, "coffee"
Lunch: salad w nf dressing, couple pieces sushi, large chai
Snack: green tea baba
Dinner: falafel, hummus
Dessert: muffin, 3 mochis

[LifeisaBlessing]

Oh, Linda--the infamous "swimsuit shopping"! There's nothing quite like trying on clothing in those lovely dressing rooms with their mirrors everywhere and unflattering lighting. It has caused many a mall-flee for me (mall flee=quickly exiting the store, fleeing to my car, and heading home!).

This year's experience with dress shopping is what ultimately gave me the push into doing NoS with my mods and (finally!!!!) achieving success. The key for me was just to keep on doing it, pushing through all the bad days and negative feelings that crept up.

Your approach is wonderful--I love your attitude of self-love and acceptance! Keep up the fantastic work!

[lpearlmom]

Lol, Blessing, mall flee! Yep that was me!

Ugh, I hesitate to write this but I just don't know if I can do NoS anymore. Yesterday at about 4 o'clock I was hungry and wanted a nectarine. I thought this is stupid, I'm a grown woman and if I want a darn nectarine I should be able to have one.

I realized that while NoS has helped me a ton, it really hasn't fixed the core issue. I'm still responding to someone else's ideas about what's right for me. Food still controls me to a degree and I'm still not completely dealing with the issues that cause me to want to eat even though I'm not physically hungry. I just cannot take it anymore. I need something internal to help me guide my eating.

I've decided to try listening to my internal cues instead of just eating because it's mealtime. I know my actual hunger isn't very big so eating more than one plate shouldn't be an issue. I'm also not going to eat mindlessly so in one sense snacking will still be off-limits. I doubt I will be hungry for more than 3 meals but if I am, I will honor my hunger by eating sitting down & focused on what I'm doing.

I know this isn't truly NoS but if nobody minds, I'd still like to track my eating on here because it's been so helpful in my journey. I'm so thankful to NoS to help me quiet all my demons but I still feel like this isn't the end of my journey. I have further to go.

*Also, positive feedbacks/comments only PLEASE*. Just not ready for criticisms yet. Thanks in advance.

Here's today thus far:

Woke at 8:30 not hungry but wanting to eat.
Why? Didn't want to face the tedious chores ahead of me.
Solution? Drank coffee and read a bit.

10:30 wanted to eat but wasn't the slightest bit hungry.
Why? Feelings of guilt over certain failed relationships.
Solution? Sorted my feelings out as best I could. Cried. Forgave myself for being less than perfect.

11:30 finally getting some true hunger.
Ate: a few bites of spinach dip with a couple of crackers & a slice of watermelon.
Quickly became satisfied which was disappointing but reminded myself my body knows best & there will be another opportunity to eat soon.

2:30 comfortably hungry
Ate: 1/4 Asian salad, boba tea
Was good but tea was big & I ended up feeling overly full. Not sure where beverages fit into all of this.

6:30 wasn't particularly hungry but wanted to partake in family dinner.
Solution? Take a small amount & focus on enjoying the company.
Ate: 1 lettuce wrap taco, 1 slice watermelon, glass of wine.

9:30 slight hunger pains but unable to eat this late due to reflux.
Solution? Have a cup of tea and wait till the morning to eat.

Overall, today went well. I'm amazed at how little food I'm actually hungry for although I'm sure that'll differ day to day. I'm trying to feel my feelings, focus on self-care & acceptance. Will see what tomorrow holds.

[LifeisaBlessing]

No worries, Linda! I've said this before in other posts, but you know your body and your individual physiology/situation best. Work with where you are at the moment, and above all, be comfortable and at peace with the process.

And definitely keep tracking--it's all about sharing and learning from each other!

P.S. Check your messages.

[kaalii]

On the body thing, it's pretty much the exception NOT to be damaged in this culture.

Ain't that your truth! It's good to remember too. Even those women who appear to have "perfect" bodies, probably have moments of body angst as well. The only real answer is self love/acceptance.

so true!
i love a saying that says: "no amount of self-improvement beats self-acceptance."

and stay here, for sure!!!!
especially if it helps you so much... i know it does to me and many of us, too...

and hey, i have checked you instagram photos... wow! the landscapes are just breathtaking!
and you are a beautiful woman with beautiful daughters and a serious talent and eye for photography!

[lpearlmom]

Blessing: thank you so much for the support & understanding. I really appreciate it.

Kaalii: thank you SO much for the amazing compliments. You really made my day! 😊 I also appreciate your encouragement and non-judgmental comments.

Also, love the saying about self-acceptance. Something I really need to work on.

[Jen1974]

Definitely keep posting!! I don't care what style you're eating, I love reading your posts. I Was thinking about you feeling hungry for fruit & my son just came up with a way to figure out if he's really hungry, or just bored. He asks himself if he wants a piece of fruit 😊 For me I will always eat if I'm REALLY hungry, but am only hungry between meals if I'm not eating enough at them or if something comes up where I'm eating later than normal. I'm terrible at figuring out if I'm hungry, bored, or stressed most of the time!! It would be awesome to get to a place where you are better in tune with your body!! I will love to read about how you're doing it!!!

[lpearlmom]

Thank you for your support Jen and glad to see you back! I love how your son is learning to be in touch with his hunger. So great to start early on that.

So far so good but it's all just a big experiment isn't it?

Rode bike 12 miles at 5am and was very hungry afterwards but went back to sleep till 10am and was barely hungry. Made coffee and ate something small a bit later.

11am coffee, smoothie, couple bites of vegan muffin
Was a little too much but was hoping it would hold me through to dinner so I could be hungry for dinner which won't happen if I eat again at 2 or 3.

It may take some time for a good pattern to emerge with my hunger but I'm confident it'll get there. Probably key is waiting till I'm a definitely hungry instead of just slightly hungry.

2:30 iced green tea latte

4:30 super hungry. Didn't want to ruin dinner so ate a nectarine. Felt the full signal. Geneen Roth describes it as "something unlatching". I totally get it. It's like something relaxing inside. Pretty cool but only happens if you start from true hunger which I don't feel so often apparently.

6:30 Wasn't particularly hungry(really from 1 nectarine?) but didn't want to miss out on family dinner so just ate a small amount.
Ate: 1 chicken drumstick, small amount of cauliflower rice, small amount of salad

9:30 1 mochi

I'm learning it's better to feel my feelings instead of eating them. Important to find other ways to nourish myself other than with food. Here's my list:
1. Take a bath w candles & champagne
2. Put on snugly clothes
3. Go see a movie
4. Ride my bike
5. Float in the pool
6. Listen to music
7. Read by the fire w a blanket (when it's cool again).
8. Sit by the fire pit or pool
9. Get a manicure
10. Get a massage
11. Get in comfy clothes and watch a chick flick
12. Bake
13. Spend time in nature

Still surprised at how little I'm actually hungry for. Apparently we don't need diets, we just need to listen to our bodies. Hmmm.. The journey continues.

[lpearlmom]

Woke at 8:30--zero hunger.

Feeling overwhelmed with to-do list, laundry, bills to pay etc. The usual especially during the summer when the girls take up most of my free time.

Would have been nice to distract myself with food but wanted to wait for my hunger so just tackled things. Cleaned the kitchen, paid bills ect. So relieved to have taken care of stuff.

11:00--beginning of hunger but not quite there.

11:45--wow what a difference waiting a bit makes. Definite strong hunger--yay!
Ate: 1 lettuce wrap taco, couple of chips, slice of watermelon

Okay eating from true hunger makes a huge difference. The food tasted amazing and my stop signal was very clear. Such a satisfying experience. I'm sure this is obvious/normal for most ppl but new & exciting for me.

2:00--tired from decluttering all morning and a little something to eat sounded good but definitely not hungry soooo decided to relax on couch for a few mins. I think a lot of us rarely allow for breaks during the day so we eat as an excuse to take some down time. So skip the food and just take the break right?

3:30pm green tea latte

7:00pm pretty darn hungry but maybe could have waited 15 mins. to be sure.
Ate: a teriyaki drumstick, cauliflower rice, salad, 1/2 nectarine
Felt like eating more but wanted that light, energetic feeling after eating just enough. Maybe I'll have room for a little something later?

9:00pm 3 1/2 figgys; glass of milk
Just wanted a little something sweet. Felt like eating more but realized it would be less satisfying at that point.

I'm okay with having a tiny something to quench my sweet tooth even if I'm not officially hungry as long as I'm not full or beyond ( I was neutral at start). Beyond that though it becomes about me trying to use it for soothing or distraction from feelings or something and not helpful. So I took this as an opportunity to figure out what I really needed.
Solution? Bubble bath & goof book. Huh, feeling pretty proud of myself!

Visited an old friend & she told me how good I looked. Was nice to hear especially since I'm feeling envious of her. We used to both be sahm together but now she has this new job and she's super excited. I am happy for her of course but makes me feel like I should be doing more with my life. The usual internal struggles.

My car is on its last leg so going to see about getting a new one tomorrow. Feeling anxious as I hate dealing with anything financial. Want to make sure I get what I want but that it's in our budget too. *fingers crossed*

[LifeisaBlessing]

You're doing great with tracking your internal hunger cues, Linda--keep it up! And it's always nice to hear some positive feedback while you're at it, so I'm glad your friend noticed and said something.

A side note about your "internal struggle" about being a SAHM. I was a SAHM to my two (now grown) children. One is moving into her own apartment and starting a job, the other is still in college. I also had similar "I should be doing more with my life" thoughts as I raised my children. Before kids, my DH and I discussed and decided that I would stay at home, and we were blessed to be able to financially do that. Some days were very difficult, but looking back, I wouldn't trade that time with my daughter and son for anything. The time truly went by in the blink of an eye. As we were moving my daughter into her apartment, I was struck with the thought that she was an adult. Where does the time go? You can never get that time back once they are grown, and I am so happy that we made the decision to have me stay at home with them while they were growing up. So whenever you find yourself questioning your decision, know that you'll treasure these moments now in the future when they are adults and ready to start their lives on their own.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Blessing! I really hope I'm not annoying anyone with all this new stuff I'm trying but hey I'm mostly not eating more than three plates so I still kinda sorta fit in here hopefully.

Anyway, I really appreciate your perspective on your sahm experience. It's so good to hear that you feel like you made the right decision. I do too most days but some days I'm gripped with doubt. I guess it would be easier if it was a little more highly valued in our society. But I'm not complaining, it's a pretty awesome job!

Today went pretty well. Spent five hours at the dealership but ended up with a great car within our budget so am happy. I ate from hunger today but feel like it's more satisfying to wait a little longer.

When I was eating dinner, I felt satisfied about halfway through but wanted to eat more. I realized I was needing some alone time after spending the whole day at the dealership with my energetic child. So I thought about what would help and decided to float in the pool a bit. Was so nice to realize I can nourish myself with other things besides food.

Break (8:30am): 1 egg, veg sausage, piece of toast
Lunch (1:00pm): 1/2 turkey burger, couple of fries, green tea latte
Dinner (7:00pm): 1/2 chipotle bowl, couple chips
9:00pm 2 mochis- at in front of tv. Not super satisfying.

Exercise: rode bike--10 miles

[lpearlmom]

Crazy emotional day. Parenting is some heart wrenching stuff I tell ya.

Went to dinner with some friends & it's so much harder to be in tune with hunger & satiety in social situations. I think I did pretty well but definitely ate more than I normally would. That's okay but then I came home and had a brownie. I think it's partly because the restaurant dessert was just so-so as well as just wanting to release tension from the day. Hopefully next time I'll find more productive release but at least I made myself sit down & eat it off a plate.

9:30 Break: 1/2 an egg, avocado toast, a veg sausage, green tea latte
2:30 Snack: 5 crackers
7:00 Dinner: a prawn, a scallop, bite of brisket, part of a salad, pan fried mushrooms with polenta & avocado (1/2 of the dish), 2 glasses wine, 1/2 bread pudding
9:30 pm Snack: small brownie & glass of milk

[LifeisaBlessing]

Not annoying at all, Linda. Again, it's about finding what works for you and applying it to your own situation. If it helps someone else in his or her journey, that's a bonus!

Heart wrenching is a perfect parenting description!

I've had a similar "so-so" dessert situation, and I did the same thing you did!:D

[lpearlmom]

Thanks Blessing!

Another rough day on the parenting front. My dh is coming down really hard on my youngest because he feels like she is really lacking in respect & empathy. It's so hard to watch her suffer through this. I feel responsible. She's my baby and I have a serious soft spot for her. maybe I should have been firmer.

I just want to go back in time when they were babies and I could hold them in my arms and keep them safe. Maybe if I could start over I would do better this time? I don't know. Hopefully it's not too late to fix things.

Anyway my eating was good..fine. I didn't use a recipe for dinner so had to taste test things a few times which meant I wasn't as hungry for dinner as I would have liked to be. It's okay, I don't have to get it perfectly every time.

Break (10:30?): 2 pieces avocado toast, 1 fried egg, 1 veg sausage, coffee
2:30: green tea latte
Dinner (7:00): small pulled porked sandwich w coleslaw, scoop baked beans, 1 flourless brownie, glass of milk

Really wanted a nectarine after dinner but wasn't hungry. Thought about my emotional day and what I needed. I opted for a family snuggle on the couch. It helped but I still kind of want the nectarine. In the morning I can have one!

[LifeisaBlessing]

Oh, Linda--I know how you feel! Thoughts of going back in time and getting a redo are so common with pretty much everything. When I get sad or blue in general, I find myself heading down that path. What helps me is the faith that God has me right where I'm supposed to be. Everything that has happened, every decision I have made in my life has led me to the point I'm at now. If even one thing in my past was changed, most likely I would be in a completely different situation. My belief (which I hope you don't mind my sharing) is that God works with you, where you're at, right at this moment. Nothing is in vain, and have faith that things will work out for the best as you move forward. Keep trying!

My apologies if you're not a religious person; in no way have I intended to offend. Just wanted to offer some help and give you some perspective on what works for me.

I've mentioned this is another thread, but what helps me when staving off or fighting hunger when I know I've just eaten is visualizing my body's fat stores providing fuel for that hungry feeling. Unless you're close to the "essential" fat level percentage, you're not in danger of starving. Let your body delve into its stores if it needs more than you've given it at your meals--that's assuming, of course, that you're actually eating something at said meals lol.

[lpearlmom]

Hi Blessing! Thank you for your sweet words! I'm not religious. I'm an atheist actually which most people find more upsetting than very religious ppl so don't worry about it. I appreciate you sharing what helps for you. Very kind of you.

I wrapped my daughter up last night in a blanket and snuggled her. I told her I wished I could start over so I could do things differently. She looked at me and said "but you didn't make any mistakes momma". That's about all I needed to hear to feel better. We'll be okay. Just a little bump in the road. 👍

I think I'm going to take a little break from this forum because I'm worried maybe my posts are triggering for people. I know in the past when ppl talked about more traditional methods of dieting that involved daily weighing, calorie counting, counting bites, fasting or focusing too much on weightloss it's been difficult for me to hear. It always made me feel like I should be doing more. There are plenty of forums for those things but this one should be saved for NoS.

NoS is special in that weightloss isn't the only issue addressed. Peace with food and our bodies is just as important, slow weightloss is enocouraged ect. I really don't want to distract from that important NoS process.

I've found another forum more in line with what I'm trying now so I'll give that a try and just do a monthly checkin here.

Best of luck to everyone on this important journey!

[Jen1974]

I'm going to miss you Linda!! I like reading about everyone's journey & don't feel that with diet, exercise, & weight loss that there is a one size fits all way that works. If there were someone would have made millions by now (: What I love about No S is that it provides structure that I think can be combined with other things or tweaked wtih mods & that it can be a good foundation.

Hopefully your new journey brings you where you want to be!! Don't forget to come back & check in from time to time (:

[LifeisaBlessing]

Aww Linda--out of the mouths of babes, right? What a sweetheart.

And thank you for letting me know of your atheist standing--no worries here either. We're all in the journey together.

And like Jen, I'm going to miss you also! You've been so welcoming to me and everyone on the forum. But I also understand needing to find something more in line with what you're doing and you're comfortable with.

Please check back in whenever you can, and best of luck in your journey!

[RAWCOOKIE]

I respect your decision - and look forward to seeing an update, in about a month?
All the best..... and thanks for all the supportive comments you've given me, I appreciate that very much.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

[clarinetgal]

Hi! Just catching up with your thread. Your experiment sounds very interesting, and I wish you the best!

[oolala53]

Hope it's okay that I tell you I think you shouldn't worry about triggering other people on your own thread. If they don't like your tack, they can just stop following you!

But it's up to you. I guess you're free to write your thoughts in a Word doc, too. You may decide to cut-and-paste them here when the dust settles.

[lpearlmom]

Thanks for all the great comments!

Jen: thanks for the kind words! NoS is definitely flexible & adaptable but just feel I'm too far off track of NoS to try to even call it a mod.

Blessing: thank you for your non-judgmental response. The world would be a much better place if we could all be this tolerant right?

Heather: thank you heather! Hoping the best for you as well!

Oolala: thank you for your support. Everyone is so great on here & I know nobody minds but just don't want to confuse anyone with my approach.


I decided to do my monthly checkin today since it's the first of the month. I'll definitely continue with my monthly check ins as this forum has been so important to my weightloss journey. I just feel like it's time for a new chapter and for now I'm posting on spark people where I feel like I can just completely express myself freely.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=LPEARLMOM

Things are going well. I'm focusing on eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm satisfied. It's interesting to see a pattern emerge of a late breakfast a small afternoon snack and a moderate dinner with a small dessert.

I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself as I try to figure out ways to deal with my uncomfortable feelings in ways other than eating and I really like that my weekends are now the same as my weekdays.

I'm down another couple of pounds so feeling pretty confident I'm on the right track. It's not easy but either is NoS (simple but not easy). When you have been dieting since a child and live in this thin-worshipping culture, eating is a complicated no matter what. Just the way it is but it's now an opportunity to grow and learn about myself.

I'm going to see what everyone else has been up to but best of luck to all and thanks for the tremendous support. 😀

[LifeisaBlessing]

Great to hear from you, Linda! And so glad you're finding something that is resonating with you. Good news all around! Looking forward to your next update.

[oolala53]

Hmm, it looks like the only difference is that you are having sweets more often. Still eating three times a day... Just sounds like your eating window is smaller. But it sounds like it feels different, and that's something you wanted.

See you on Spark!

[Merry]

Great update, Linda . Always glad to see your posts!

[lpearlmom]

Thank you blessing, oolala & Merry!

I really don't know what I'm doing right now! No plan is feeling quite right but I do know grazing and/or permasnacking will never be apart of my plan. My weight seems to be holding steady for now so that's good.

Not sure sparks people is working out either. Just feels too big and am losing motivation to post.

Ah well, forever the misfit. 😊

Best of luck to everyone!

[lpearlmom]

I've decided to post again. My short bout with IE was interesting but is not a good long term approach. I know/knew this and even talked about how it was just a fantasy recently yet I seem to need to free myself of rules every several months and this seems to be my way of doing it.

I think part of the problem is I'm just so tired of trying to be thinner. It's exhausting. I know at size 12 I could easily lose more weight but I also know that if I get to a size 10, I will just start striving to be a size 8. I know this because when I was a size 8 I wanted to be a size 6 and when I was a size 6 I wanted to be a size 4.

At some point you just need to learn to love and accept yourself where you're at so you can start to put your energy toward something more important than weight loss. I'm going to call it good enough for now and just work on accepting where I am now. I'm healthy, I can move freely, I'm not embarrassed in public (even in a bathing suit), I can shop in normal clothing stores (yay!), I can wear fashionable clothes. I have so much in which to be thankful. What more can I ask for?

I'm going to try something new and try just focusing on maintaining. I have exercise goals that are far more interesting/healthy and I'll continue with those. I'm also going to implement a couple mods:

1) healthy sweets (i.e. Vegan pudding made w/cashews & dates) allowed as long as they're on 1 plate.
2) weekends are the same as N days unless I have an S event those days (out to dinner, friends over etc).

I'm going to reward myself for every 21 green days with a day off (no cleaning, cooking, laundry etc).


I'm having a lot of stress/angst lately. A lot if it is financial. I just had to replace my car and then our air conditioner went out the other day do that needs to be replaced. Also it leaked and we have to get dry wall repaired. And my daughters 8th grade trip is coming up so we have to pay for that. Plus braces and college and they'll need cars at some point--ugh!!

I feel like I should get a job but I've been out of the workplace so long, I have no idea what I'd do and the amount I'd make would be so measly compared to what dh makes, it seems more sense to be home and reduce stress by taking care of things there. Maybe I should just get rid of our cleaning lady and gardeners. That'd save us a lot of money! I don't know.

I wish I could at least stick to a hobby. I just feel like something in my life is missing. When we go out to dinner with Dh's partners, it's tough because everyone is so accomplished. Doctors, veterinarians, ect. I just don't know how much I have to add to the conversation.

In fact, I've decided I don't really enjoy these dinners very much anymore. I always get seated next to the quiet people so I'm having to I initiate the conversation the entire time. Also, I drink too much from nerves and I just feel generally unsatisfied after these get togethers. I'm going to try to avoid them in the future. At the very least I'll sit somewhere else.

Our dinner with them this weekend was particularly unsettling. They ordered a pigs head for the table and I swear, I don't know if I can ever eat meat again. I will but I did order two new vegetarian cookbooks (the sprouted kitchen) and may be leaning in the direction for a bit.

So anyway lots of angst but this will pass. I'm trying to focus on gratitude for all that I have. I'm grateful we can pay for all these things even if it does make things tight for awhile. I'm grateful my kids are healthy and generally well adjusted. I'm grateful my marriage is still in tact. I'm grateful for our beautiful house, our adorable dogs and the few close friends we have.

Ok onwards. I can do this life thing. I guess there's no other choice but to move forwards.

[LifeisaBlessing]

Linda--I'd like to give you a nice cyber-hug! Hang in there--your goals sound very doable and stable. Coming to a place of self-love and acceptance is very important, and it sounds like that's where you are focusing, so take it one day at a time. Looking at things too far into the future can be overwhelming, especially when it comes to our kids (!!!!!!!), so just try to enjoy where you are, right in the moment, if you can.

And, oh, your pig's head story!!!!!! I'm with you--that would absolutely turn my stomach. Around here in western PA, pig roasts are a huge deal at big outdoor barbecues and parties--I avoid them at all costs. There's just some things I DON'T want to see!!! Blech!

Please don't feel that you are not accomplished! You're right where you should be right now for a reason, and raising children is a job that is just as important and accomplished as any other job. It might not always get the glamour and prestige associated with it, but it is an extremely serious endeavor, and deserves a great deal of respect.

I know how you feel about the conversations at work parties. My strategies (unless I'm unfortunately put next to people who give lots of one-word replies to questions without furthering the conversation) are to always focus on the other person--ask him/her questions, and get them to talk about anything. Most of the time, the conversations will carry themselves. This obviously will not work in situations where you are with quiet or very unfriendly people. I remember one rehearsal dinner I attended when my husband and I were first married where I tried to strike up a conversation with the person sitting across from me, who proceeded to look at me like I was a lunatic. It was so embarrassing, and I remember fighting back tears the entire time we were eating. I couldn't wait to get out of there! So I feel your pain.

Like you said in your last sentence, just keep your eyes forward and keep going. One day at a time.

[lpearlmom]

Please don't feel that you are not accomplished! You're right where you should be right now for a reason, and raising children is a job that is just as important and accomplished as any other job. It might not always get the glamour and prestige associated with it, but it is an extremely serious endeavor, and deserves a great deal of respect.

Thank you Blesing for this as well as your response in its entirety. You have no idea how badly I needed to hear all this right now. It's true it is an important job. I need to get past worrying about other people's judgments I think.

So glad you can relate about the pig! Quite an eye opening experience! 😝

And you're right getting other people to talk about themselves is a good technique. I just think we need to be careful of our seating arrangements because somehow the quieter ppl get sat together and all the talkative ones (dh can out talk anyone) sit together. I really like these ppl but yeah sometimes it's awkward/tiring.

Wow that guy sounds like a jerk. I mean what else are you suppose to do when your at a social function if not make conversation?! Some people are hopeless though. At least you took the high road. That's usually when I turn into the name for a female dog. 😊

I love the one day at a time reminder. Deep breath. We'll get through life's challenges just like we've gotten through all the other ones. We can always live in our camper I guess! No kidding but you know it's good to have a back up plan.

Thanks again, you really lifted my spirits.

[lpearlmom]

Feeling back on track with my eating. Rough day with my daughter. I'd say it's a teen thing but she's always been a handful. I'm grateful though because she doesn't let me get away with anything. I cannot help but to grow with her around. 👍

Break: gym rat smoothie, tea latte
Lunch: chickpea sandwich, banana, small bag popcorn
Dinner: banh mi pork bowl, 2 nectarines, 4 small trail mix cookies, glass milk


Hoping to exercise tomorrow.

[LifeisaBlessing]

So happy I was able to make you feel better, Linda!

And know that these years with your daughters now are VERY intense--I found being a SAHM during this time especially challenging, and like you, had some "rage" moments myself. It happens. Because our one and only job is raising our kids, there is soooo much time and focus on what they're going through, and it does lead to butting heads on quite a few occasions. And because you're dealing with girls, that may happen more often just because you're handling both their estrogen and your estrogen lol! So take it easy on yourself--as we've said before, this too shall pass.

Speaking from the perspective of raising both a boy and a girl, I can tell you that the challenges of girls are MUCH different and more personal. It's just the nature of our being the same sex as our daughters. I'm sure there's tons of research out there on the topic, but suffice it to say that we're living it and know first hand!

BTW--love the quote in your signature!

[knitapeace]

Hi Linda, reaching out with a hug from me to you. I have 2 teenagers and we are also going through financial difficulty, have been for years now since the economic downturn. My husband finally decided to leave the "employment game" and open his own business, which gave us a light at the end of the tunnel but a very long, very dark tunnel to navigate first. I do work outside the home and thank goodness I do, for the salary as well as for the health insurance, but I was a SAHM for 9 years and have a good idea what you're feeling right now about self-worth. All I can tell you is that many working moms are imagining you with a carefree, schedule free life and wishing they could be you...but you know what really goes on behind the scenes. And you may be looking at us as accomplished, interesting, fulfilled...and we are likely just exhausted and feeling torn because we can't focus 100% on either side of our lives. I guess the best thing is just looking with kind eyes at one another and realizing we all have our crosses to bear and joys to share.

You made a very strong case for yourself for maintenance. You should re-read it when you start to feel discouraged, because self-love and self-acceptance is SO important in order to function as your best self. (I sound very Oprah today, sorry.) You are just fine exactly as you are right now. Nothing needs to change. You can if you want to, when the time is right, but for now you are enough. (Geez, Oprah's going to lose her network to me if I keep it up.)

These are hard times for everyone it seems. You aren't alone.

[LifeisaBlessing]

I guess the best thing is just looking with kind eyes at one another and realizing we all have our crosses to bear and joys to share.

knitapeace--I know this is Linda's thread, but I just had to thank you for your wonderful comments and perspectives from your experiences as a SAHM and working-outside-the-home mom. You really put it so kindly and so well--thank you!

[lpearlmom]

Feel free to comment anytime Blessing! I couldn't agree with you more. I love what you said knit. I hate the whole mommy wars thing. We all need to support each other and our choices. In the end we're all just trying to do what's best for our children & our families.

I also agree it's one of those grass is always greener scenario. The truth it's just hard being a parent, no matter how you slice it. Let's all just cut each other some well-deserved slack already.

And thank you knit for encouraging me towards self-acceptance. It feels like a relief not be actively trying to get smaller. If it happens with solid, healthy habits than so be it but if not I'll still be okay. That's a pretty good place to be.

And I love Oprah so no worries!

[Jen1974]

Linda, it's so good to have you back (:

So I never have enough time to post because it's summer & my kids are home, but I am a work from home mom. It's all hard, it just looks better on the other side. In my world I am always busy, yet never do anything well. I always feel like I'm not doing my job well, or I'm not doing a good enough job spending quality time with my kids, or my house isn't clean. Oh how my house is never clean & my laundry is never done & when someone tells me they have no clean clothes I sometime want to actually cry LOL!! And on top of all of that I have nothing even interesting to talk about at social events.

My kids made me cry last week. My daughter told me it would be nice to have a stay at home mom who could make her fancy snacks. My kids have to make their own breakfast & lunch & snacks (most days, I do some fun ones sometimes). I clean the kitchen every minute of the day I'm not working because they are disasters in the kitchen. It would probably be a better idea for me to just make the food for them. My 14 year old son is either my favorite person in the world or some scary person who seems to be annoyed with everything I do.

And then there are then there are the perfect moments when everyone is having fun together & I wish I could just freeze time.

As for No S, I have just had a hard time with the seconds lately. I always have a hard time with summer ending. I want to enjoy the "lasts" and I haven't wanted to focus on what or how much I'm eating. And I think I used No S to restrict myself to a point that was just too hard to do forever which lead to me needing to loosen up & eat more at my meals & add in (way) more sweets on the weekends. The scale keeps reminding me to pull it together, thinking I will once school starts (:

Anyway, I always love your posts & am glad your back (:

[lpearlmom]

Wow I love this frank & honest conversation we're all having and makes me realize we moms have more in common than I realize no matter what our working situation is.

Jen, your post made me tear up a little. Mostly because I can relate so much. Dh asked me to make a phone call today and I almost cried because it was the millionth time that day someone asked something from me. I feel I cannot say no to anything.

As a sahm, I'm suppose to take care of EVERYTHING and don't even get me started on the laundry. I feel so guilty when the laundry is not caught up or the house isn't perfect because I'm a sahm and if things on the house front aren't perfect, what the heck am I staying home for anyway? And your son sounds like my daughter. She is just one intense kid & im no walk in the park, I know.

*sigh* it's just plain hard but what you said about wanting to freeze those perfect moments is so true. When everything comes together and you realize how lucky you are to have this beautiful, crazy and perfect family. On the other side of darkness, there's lightness.

Anyway, thank you ladies for your amazing honesty, and wise words. It helps so much to know I'm not alone in my struggles.

Today was pretty good--last day of summer vacation. Ack! I feel like I've definitely been eating more but will see how it effects my maintenance goals on Friday. I'm not sure if allowing a bit of sweets on my plate is a good idea as I'm finding it harder to stop eating them than I anticipated. We shall see. Tomorrow I get a bit of freedom back. Time to tackle that to-do list!

Break: 1 egg, 2 pieces of turkey sausage, piece of low carb toast, tea latte
Lunch: tofu protein bowl, small rankin of cashew choc pudding, iced latte
Dinner: veggie Chiptole bowl w guac (no cheese or s cream), 2 soy ice cream sandwiches

[lpearlmom]

Oh boy not a great week overall but hey it could be worse. I don't think I had a single green day. I'm fine till the evening then I just pick and I've been eating dessert & just generally overdoing it.

Also, after finally getting through the stress of having to replace our air conditioner, we got a call from our tenants saying the roof was leaking. Ack! Not good. I haven't heard from the roofer yet but ...yeah.

I was super stressed out but then today I realize this is just life. You gotta kind appreciate all of it--the wonderful, the tedious and the not so wonderful moments as well. Otherwise you'll just be wishing your life away right?

I did go on a nice bike ride this morning which kind of puts everything in perspective. As I rode I got to see the beautiful sunrise, horses, ducks, adorable dogs playing and this great park with a path that goes for miles.

All that stuff will still be there tomorrow no matter how much the stupid roof costs, right? And you know what, enjoying nature is free so I will be fine. Plus, when we finally sell our rental property we will be able to write off all these repairs. It'll all work out one way or another.

I also underwent some serious cleaning therapy today. I generally keep the main areas of the house picked up & clean but somehow I allow things to pile on our kitchen sideboard. Boy had things gotten out of hand so I tackled that today and it looks beautiful. It took me about four hours to put everything away. It's crazy how we can be blind to things after awhile. But it was very satisfying to see the transformation. I even sharpened all the pencils and put them in a pretty container. I guess it gave me a sense of control.

I think my eating is a little out of whack still from trying IE as well as just the stress I'm under but hoping to get back on track tomorrow. I'm aiming for maintenance not weight gain so I need to find my way back to moderation asap.

Break: green smoothie, chai latte
Lunch: vegetable curry over brown rice, green tea latte
Snack: 1/2 short rib, several smoked olives, handful of nuts, banana
Dinner: bbq egg salad sandwich, couple more nuts & olives, 2 bites sausage
Dessert: 1/2 pint of artic zero

Ugh! Dh smoked short ribs, eggs, olives, almonds and sausages. He pulled everything off at 4:00 and I just had to have some. Everything kind of went downhill from there. It's okay back in the saddle tomorrow. Weigh in should be interesting.


Exercise: rode bike 12 miles

[kaalii]

I was super stressed out but then today I realize this is just life. You gotta kind appreciate all of it--the wonderful, the tedious and the not so wonderful moments as well. Otherwise you'll just be wishing your life away right?

I did go on a nice bike ride this morning which kind of puts everything in perspective. As I rode I got to see the beautiful sunrise, horses, ducks, adorable dogs playing and this great park with a path that goes for miles.

All that stuff will still be there tomorrow no matter how much the stupid roof costs, right? And you know what, enjoying nature is free so I will be fine. Plus, when we finally sell our rental property we will be able to write off all these repairs. It'll all work out one way or another.

just beautiful!
with these thoughts in your mind you are doing more than fine, linda, and i'm happy for you!

[knitapeace]

There's nothing like a little nature to help put things in perspective. Keep going Linda, you're doing great!

[lpearlmom]

Thank you so much kaalii & knit! I'm trying to chill a bit!

Today was good although my eating was all over the place. I just cannot seem to get back to eating my three plates but despite my chaotic eating my weight is very stable.

I don't think I better push my luck though. I'm not sure what my deal is. I'm fine during the day but things fall apart as the day progresses.

Tomorrow I'm suppose to see my therapist. Ugh I dread it. It's like going to the dentist. I really don't want to but know it'll be good for me. I'm secretly hoping she'll have to cancel. Probably not.

-43.6 lbs

Break: green avocado smoothie
Lunch: banana, handful nuts, granola bar, green tea latte
Snack: froyo (celebrating first week of school w girls)
Dinner: several pieces of deep fried veggies, cheese in sausage in batter
Dessert: bowl of sorbet

Wow, a lot of food!

[lpearlmom]

Was a good day. My therapy session was very fruitful and I gained some good insights. So so grateful for that woman.

Also, my friend told me about a job opening at the preschool she teaches at for a preschool chef. It's a good fit for me because I have both teaching experience as well as a culinary certificate. It's part-time and close to home.

Seems perfect but pay is low and it might be awkward if I don't end up wanting to stay on since my friend works there. I wouldn't want to let her down. Also I'm nervous about losing my flexibility. What do I do if my child's sick or has a day off? I'm even worrying about my dogs having to be home alone. They're so used to having me around. And how will everything else get done--cleaning, laundry, cooking.

I know most moms work and they figure it out, but it's all new to me and I'm nervous! I'm going to think about it. Dh says he's fine either way. He also says we can look into opening up the bbq catering biz we always talked about or I can take cake decorating classes (long time dream of mine) and start a biz if I want to go that route. I'm confused!

Eating was chaotic but it's an S day, right?

Break: granola bar, green tea latte
Lunch: bagel w avocado, tomato
Snack: watermelon, 2 vegan muffins
Dinner: popcorn, d coke,
Snack: 1/2 bagel, 4 mini cookies, couple smoked olives

[osoniye]

Seems perfect but pay is low and it might be awkward if I don't end up wanting to stay on since my friend works there. I wouldn't want to let her down. Also I'm nervous about losing my flexibility.

Getting locked into a daily schedule where people are depending on you, for low pay? I would run for the hills!

[lpearlmom]

Lol Sonya, well yeah when you put it like that yeah it doesn't sound so appealing. I just want to make sure I'm turning it down for the right reasons and not because in afraid of losing my freedom and cozy little life.

Still a lot to consider I guess.

[oolala53]

First, I want to say I am selfishly glad that you're still posting here. I was worried about how to follow you directly on Spark.

I have to gently say that thinking you might be too constrained by a part time job and contemplating starting your own business sound a little paradoxical... But a business you're excited about might help put other tasks in perspective.

Okay, single here and no kids, so maybe I'm naive, but I honestly don't understand why you have to do everything just because you don't have an outside job. EVERYONE should have to contribute to the upkeep of any household they live in, in my opinion, even if it means paying for it. Your husband is kind of off the hook because he pays for the maid and gardener, but children can be very legitimately part of the work force! I just went to a wedding last night of a young woman whose single father told her at age nine that he would never ask her to do his laundry but that she had to do her own from then on out and she did. Sure, he worked, but the point was she learned to fit it in. High school friends of mine (sisters) had a SAHM but she never did ANY laundry but her own special clothes and she also never washed a dish nor vacuumed and a few other things. The one child she kind of babied now lives off her 45 years later! Not saying that will happen, but you have the right to delegate. I actually wish my mother had been a little more demanding of me.

I also don't like to be a downer but if you haven't worked for a long time and haven't been involved in charity work or pursued any interests, it might be hard to find something that pays well. Maybe part time with a caterer? To avoid the awkwardness of not having the other job work out and to get more experience seeing how a food business works on a day-to-day (or whatever schedule) basis.

So glad to also hear that you're going to try to maintain for awhile. You never know where that will lead. And it's likely losing more would just leave you wanting to lose more. If I'm honest, I fight with that. I know that women at my age and weight think they should weigh several pounds less and the ones who weigh that lower amount think THEY should weigh less. The ones who are content where they are weigh less than 98% of women at my height and age! My weight fluctuates, but that weight my peers idolize is about 8-12 pounds less than I weigh now. Sometimes I wish I didn't know that! If that is not an indictment of our media standards, I don't know what is, but I also don't know the complete solution, except to do my best to eat and move moderately and accept that I'm not likely to do more, so I need to let myself off the hook.


That dang part of our brain that LOVES to find problems!

Hope you're having a great Sunday!

[lpearlmom]

Hey oolala

Thank you! I don't think I could really ever stay away for too long. It's just so very helpful to me.

I'm not contemplating doing both the pt job and the biz. It'd be one or the other.

As far as the kids helping more yep obviously they should be. I used to criticize my friends for not getting their kids to help more. Now I get it. There's so much we have to stay on our kids about. Homework, bedtime, hygiene, behavior ect. It's a pick your battles kind of thing.

My oldest daughter does do her laundry though and whenever the chips are down the all step in and help out. We also have a cleaning lady who comes weekly so our situation is a little different. You wish your mom had you do more, I wish my mom did more. It's easy to judge but I'm doing my best.

That being said, I am working on delegating more with my therapist. We shall see.

I feel good about the maintenance right now. I really have no desire to lose more weight right now. Not sure if it'll last but am enjoying it.

Anyway thank you for the feedback. My dh & I our catering our friends wedding (200 ppl) in Nov so we can see if that is something we enjoy.

[lpearlmom]

Wow quite the snackathon this weekend but you know what? I enjoyed it and I'm sure my weight will go back down by Friday.

Sooo all this thinking about a job prospect has stirred up a lot of emotions/ideas/realizations. As tempting as the job sounds, I think I'll pass. It would be so easy to just jump right into this but I have a feeling I wouldn't be happy there too long. A lot of it will be doing dishes & keeping the kitchen clean which isn't much an escape from what I'm already doing.

I did realize I'm ready to put myself out there a little but I think I need to go slowly. I've decided to do some volunteer work, take some baking/cake decorating classes, look into catering biz possibilities and maybe even do a little writing. I also want to continue biking because that's such a source of good feelings for me. If only it wasn't so dang hard to get up early but when it cools off, I can go after I drop off the girls.

I need to get more serious though and treat what I'm doing as a job. No more staying in my pjs till 2pm or waiting to take a shower till right b4 dh gets home. If I want to fit this other stuff in I will need to be more focused.

I also sat my girls down and told them I was going to be busier with classes & volunteer work and I could really use their help around the house. They were so excited for me and we made a plan together. We made a list of daily chores and they each picked one plus agreed to pack their lunch 2x/wk. It's not much but baby steps. I figure we can add chores with each new school year or something.

I'm also working on asking for help. This is a hard one for me. I'm good at asking for my older daughters help because she's always happy to do it. My younger daughter is more resistant so I tend to avoid asking her because well I tend to avoid conflict at all costs. But it's good for everyone when she learns to be a team player so I'm learning to ask and she's learning that it feels good to help.

I'm excited and nervous about making some changes. I know I just have to go slowly or I'll spook myself all together & just bail. It's going to be good though. Baby steps!

-40.2 blech

I was cooking all day trying out recipes for this wedding were doing and I swear it's was just one long eating fest. *phew* excited for tomorrow.

4 vegan oatmeal cookie pancakes, chai latte, 3 servings of sw corn pudding (so good!), yogurt with granola, couple servings pasta salad, green tea latte, more pasta salad... Plus picking as I cooked.

Okay bring on the sanity of N days!!

[osoniye]

I've decided to do some volunteer work, take some baking/cake decorating classes, look into catering biz possibilities and maybe even do a little writing. I also want to continue biking because that's such a source of good feelings for me.

Yay, Linda that all sounds so good!
There's real energy in your "voice" today.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you so much Sonya--so nice to get encouragement! I found a place where volunteers teach cooking to foster children. Not sure if they need people right now but it looks pretty cool. I also signed up for a couple cake decorating courses--yay!

I told my friend I wasn't going to take the job. She was nice about it but disappointed I think. Oh well better now then later.

It was so nice having my girls do some chores today. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'll have to remind them daily but that's okay.

Today was good. My weight is up a couple pounds but not bad considering my weekend. I cannot seem to get a green day in but you know it was close. I'll take it.

Break: yogurt, granola bar, sf chai
Lunch: low fat trader joes Asian salad w avocado, melon balls, chai
Dinner: bowl of vegetarian chili, vegan zucchini muffin, chai
Red: 2 nectarines

That's a lot of chai!

Exercise: walk dogs

[Merry]

I'm glad to see you posting again too . Cake decorating is definitely an art form--hope you enjoy the classes and the volunteer work.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Merry! It should be fun! Will be good to just kind of get out there again.

Today was good (except for my eating). My girls have been getting along SO well the last few days. I hope I come back here and read this on those days when I feel like all they do is fight non-stop. It's definitely true that when I'm happier, they are happier. Especially with my oldest. Man, I cannot get anything by that girl. She picks up on even the tiniest bit of stress I'm experiencing.

The girls did their homework and piano practice and then we all hung out outside and talked for awhile. It was really nice. Dh has been working till 9 or 10 every night and so I've been very much on my own but I don't mind. I'm used to it. Still I feel bad that he's left out of so much. Oh well at least he's not on call this weekend.

My eating has been crazy and I'm still up 2 pounds. I'm not sure what's going on but I've been really hungry lately and just not super motivated to stick to NoS. I know this is crazy but I just need something extreme to motivated me so I'm challenging myself to 100 green days with 30 mins of exercise ea day (weekends excluded). I tend need goals to motivate me. We shall see.

-42 lbs

Break: 1 piece turkey bacon, pb2 smoothie
Lunch: veg chili, nectarine, banana, handful nuts, muffin
Dinner: 2 lentil tacos, glass wine
Red: 2 mochis, 1/2 pint artic freeze

[lpearlmom]

Was another good day. My girls are continuing to get along and I haven't felt this happy in a long time. Despite the continuing chaos that is our life. In fact, I'm beginning to embrace it a little. Maybe that's the key to happiness. Learning to roll with the punches.

I ran into a old friend today and she mentioned how good I looked. It's always nice to hear but I'm pleasantly surprised to notice that it doesn't effect me like it used to. When someone mentioned my weight loss before, I'd be so thrilled it would practically make my day. On the flip side when someone didn't notice, I'd be super upset and hurt. It could just about ruin my day.

Now I guess I'm more secure because I feel good so I don't need someone else confirming that for me. If they don't say anything I don't care either. In fact I just don't really think about it. Maturity or maybe just mentally catching up with my weight loss.

Day 1- green
Break: bagel thin w avo & tomato, 2 veg sausages, chai
Lunch: lentil low carb burrito, small nf yogurt w fruit, green tea latte
Dinner: Salisbury steak, cauliflower mash, glass wine

Exercise: 30 min bike ride

[Jen1974]

Love how happy you sound!!

I notice that same thing, that if I'm happier, my whole family seems to be happier. It's really is better for the whole family when the mom is taking some time to take care of herself & do things that make her happy (:

[lpearlmom]

Thank you Jen! It's so true! If I'd known how much of a difference it made, I would have made more of an effort a lot sooner.

Today was good. Our kitchen faucet is broken which also means no dishwasher, so I'm having to wash all our dishes in the tiny little sink in our butler pantry. I'm definitely more appreciative of that little machine!

Miracle of miracles, everyone is still getting along, doing their chores & homework without complaint. Soooo nice! This weekend we're going to dinner with another couple. It should be fun, I just hope we have enough to talk about.

I should get up early and ride but I know I won't. I really need to figure out how to work in more exercise into my life. Once a week just isn't cutting it!

Day 2 green -42 lbs (weight holding steady which I'm taking as a good sign!)

Break: gym rat smoothie
Lunch: salad w nf dressing, green tea latte
Dinner: superfood salad w salmon, small bowl curry soup

[lpearlmom]

Weird last couple of days & I definitely overdid it this weekend. I hope my weight isn't up too much. We're going to LA next weekend and I want to look decent.

It's such a cliché but I get so sensitive around the time of month it's just unbearable sometimes. Friday night my "friend" was suppose to come to pick up some clothes my girls had grown out of for her daughters and also to say hi because I haven't seen her forever. Well she never showed up and I ended up texting her she said she was really sorry but just waked in the door.

Normally I Wouldn't care. I mean things happen but she was suppose to come last weekend and when I texted her Monday to find out what happened, she said she was waiting for me to text her and tell her to come over. Now I think it was an excuse. She also backed out on dhs bday dinner at the last minute and she's left me waiting for her for hours on other times she said she'd dropped by.

The worst part is that we've done so much for her. We always pay when we go to dinner, I've given her endless amounts of clothes and toys, my girls bikes, even our old outdoor play set from Costco. When she invites us somewhere, I show up on time with a proper gift. Ugh, I'm done.

Anyway the whole thing made me feel horrible and then a couple other things happened and I felt like the whole world was against me. Dh pointed out that it was just my perception but knowing this didn't make me feel any less fragile. It's so hard living with this brain & this overly tender heart sometimes.

I'm okay now. Writing this makes me realize my friend isn't being a friend at all & it's time to move on.

I also drank and ate too much and am basically really looking forward to an N day and hopefully a nice bike ride tomorrow.

Ate:
Leftover Thai noodles, few pancakes, sf chai, green tea latte, couple handful nuts, hard boiled egg, 3 bbq ribs, toast w avocado, 2 mochis

[Merry]

Ugh, I'm sorry. No fun being stood up by a friend--especially when you're trying to do something nice. I hope this week's better. The weight will even out--one bad weekend doesn't throw it off that much & it will come back down, your habits are so well-established. Hope you're feeling better, some cycles are so rough.

[Jen1974]

I have friends that act like jerks too. It's hard when you are nice to put it on them & not on you I think. I have a hard time getting myself to believe I'm too good to be treated that badly by others. Hope your week is better!!

[lpearlmom]

Thanks you Merry & Jen!

I guess I just feel a little foolish trying to friends with someone who takes advantage of my generosity. I don't want to be friends with her but I'm too old to do something dramatic like unfriend her on Facebook or ask her to mail me my key. On the other hand, being mature is so unsatisfying.

Anyway feeling much better. An old friend called me up the other day and we had lunch together. I guess it's that old "close a door, a window opens" kind of thing. She is a nice solid, mature friend. I guarantee she'd only cancel if it was important. Some woman pick men that are bad for them. Well, I've always had a knack for choosing good men but lousy at healthy friendships. Hopefully it's not too late to learn.

My eating has been good and my weight is back down. My body really seems to like it here. Yay cuz so do I! We're going to LA this weekend so a lot to do to get everything ready for house sitters, ect

-44 lbs


Break: pb & almond smoothie, green tea latte
Lunch: small salad, banana, granola bar, green tea latte
Dinner: 2 vegan hatch chili enchiladas, handful chips w guacamole, glass wine

[Merry]

Thanks you Merry & Jen!

I guess I just feel a little foolish trying to friends with someone who takes advantage of my generosity. I don't want to be friends with her but I'm too old to do something dramatic like unfriend her on Facebook or ask her to mail me my key. On the other hand, being mature is so unsatisfying.

Anyway feeling much better. An old friend called me up the other day and we had lunch together. I guess it's that old "close a door, a window opens" kind of thing. She is a nice solid, mature friend. I guarantee she'd only cancel if it was important. Some woman pick men that are bad for them. Well, I've always had a knack for choosing good men but lousy at healthy friendships. Hopefully it's not too late to learn.

Not foolish to try to be gracious. No need to "unfriend" either--you can, however, unfollow her but remain friends--the other person is not alerted, and her posts won't show up in your newsfeed. You can still visit her page if you want to know what's up with her.

So glad you had a good friend call you up to enjoy lunch! That's always nice.

Congrats on the weight loss! We like you here too!

[kaalii]

On the other hand, being mature is so unsatisfying.

oh so true, smtms...
but i have found that when there is potential of resentment build-up, it is better to consciously act in, arguably, less mature way... (resentment can be so energy draining)...
i'd do like merry suggests as far as fb is concerned, just unfollow but not unfriend... but id politely ask the key back... it goes to people i can count on (or at least to communicate in time that they are not available when they are not)... no hard feelings and some healthy closure...
but this is not advice, just my opinion and experience...

[lpearlmom]

Thanks for input kaalii. I was obviously joking but I think it's natural to want to get back at someone who hurts you. Just being honest but doesn't mean I'm misguided enough to act on it. But yeah probably should get the key back.

Anyway.... Stressed to the max. Just a lot of stuff happening at once. I won't go into detail cuz frankly I'm sick of hearing myself complain. It will be good to get away this weekend though.

Weirdly I'm down another couple pounds. Maybe weightloss is like falling in love. It only happens when you stop trying so hard.

-46.5 lbs

Break: gym rat smoothie, green tea latte
Lunch: granola bar, protein smoothie, banana, handful nuts
Dinner: egg salad sandwich, chai

Exercise: 30 mins walk/run treadmill

[lpearlmom]

Had a very nice visit in LA. I actually got along with my mil and the bday party for dhs aunt was lovely. Of course it's hard seeing everyone get so old and hearing about her life makes me wonder if I should do more with mine.

My weight is up 5 lbs. did I really eat *that* much in two days? Yikes. I can feel a little bit of depression seeping into my mood but I know it's just temporary. Crazy if I read back on all my posts and see the roller coaster of emotions I go through on a weekly basis. Does everyone go through this or just me? I don't think it's "normal".

Anyway it's nice to realize it'll pass. I think maybe if I start to get some regular exercise in, that'll help.

-40.4

Break: gym rat smoothie
Lunch: Asian chicken salad, couple pieces sushi, green tea latte
Dinner: chicken chipotle bowl
Red moment: cake batter; small sliver of cake

[Merry]

My weight is up 5 lbs. did I really eat *that* much in two days?

Nah, no way did you accidentally eat an extra 17,500 calories in only two days! I say it's extra salt, water retention from travelling, unusual and/or extra food that your system hasn't gotten rid of yet, and maybe only one real pound of gain. I bet after a week or so of normal eating, you'll be back down again.

Glad you had a good visit!

[lpearlmom]

Yeah I know you're right Merry! My weight is still up which is annoying. My body is just behaving strangely. First I lost weight without any effort and now my weight is up more than it's ever been after a really not that wild weekend. Must be weird water fluctuations. I keep think menopause or peri menopause must be playing a role in all this craziness.

Feeling a little better today. Dh had the day off so we went to the gym and coffee and was nice spending time with him. When I get all complaining/whiny he teases me about it and it definitely helps to be able to laugh at the situation. He drives me crazy sometimes but really he's my rock. I'm so grateful for him.

I'm hoping tomorrow the cloud will be lifted completely.

-40.4

Break: toast w cream cheese, grapes, piece of turkey bacon, latte
Lunch: small salad, protein shake, grapes
Dinner: white bean posole, banana, small glass of wine

Exercise: 30 mins walk/run treadmill

[LifeisaBlessing]

Hi Linda--just checking in to say hi! I thought of you last week when I was having one of those crazy "pile on" days--you know, the ones where everything seems to stack on top of stuff you're already having difficulty dealing with? Ugh--I do NOT like days like that, but the "cloud" did indeed lift and things got better. Hang in there!

And that lovely water weight fluctuation problem! It surprises me too, how often that rears its head. I guess it's just a natural consequence of female hormonal body rhythms, but yes it can definitely be frustrating!

Hope you have a wonderful day, and a great Labor Day weekend!

[lpearlmom]

Thanks Blessing for stopping by!

My weight was down a bit yesterday but then I had a red day followed by another red day today so not feeling too hopeful about tomorrow. I cannot seem to do NoS anymore. Frustrating.

I'm still feeling a lot of stress but I'm trying to tell myself this is just life. Everyone has worries and problems and uncertainties. There's so many things I wished I did differently though and I keep getting stuck in thinking about how things would be so much better if I'd made different choices.

But maybe this is just a mid-life thing. Maybe this will be the catalyst for big changes in my life. Maybe the first half of your life is about making mistakes and the second half is about learning from them. I keep thinking about what my dh says when I ask him what if we make the wrong choice. He says "then you make it so it's the right choice". Much to ponder.

Anyway tomorrow I have my first cake decorating class and then Tuesday my daughter & I are volunteering at a food bank so positive changes are already happening. Saturday I see my therapist and boy do I need that right now.

Okay deep breathe. This will pass.

Break: gym rat smoothie, melon, green tea latte
Lunch: low fat chicken salad, granola bar, banana, handful rice chips
Dinner: veggie & tofu stir fry latte
Red: cupcake

Exercise: 30 min bike ride; walked dogs-20 mins

[lpearlmom]

My eating has been kind of out of control the last couple of days. Not sure what's going on but hopefully I can get back on track before I regain anymore weight.

Friday was a red day and it's tempting to want to take tomorrow as an N day but I know that's generally not a good idea. If I can start the day off with a bike ride that usually sets the tone for a good moderate day.

Breakfast: granola bar, leftover veggie stir fry, chai
Lunch: avo & veggie sandwich, rice chips, latte
Snack: green tea latte
Dinner: 2 tacos, 1/2 quesadilla

Okay doesn't look too bad on paper but felt like a lot.

[oolala53]

I'm sorry you're having thoughts of having made mistakes. I believe this is when the human capacity for imagination works against us. Thinking the past actually could have been any different than it was some spiritual teachers say is an illusion. Corny as it sounds, we really always do the absolute best we can at any one moment, all factors being considered.

I wish I could lift the burden of your expectations about weight from you. But I do think that the extra water can affect our emotions and our thoughts, causing us to make irrational judgments of ourselves and of the importance of small things. It's just the water talking! Just like when we overeat, esp. processed foods, it's just the chemicals talking. Not our best analytical thinking at all.

I believe no single action you do can ever detract from your essence, which is the real source of your worth. The psychologist and researcher on creativity and happiness Mihaly Csikszenmihaly said, "“The foremost reason that happiness is so hard to achieve is that the universe was not designed with the comfort of human beings in mind.” I think part of that comfort is feeling like we're doing enough. Roy Baumeister says that something changed with the Renaissance. It opened up possibilities for individuals, but also ended up with a burden of creating a self that wasn't there before for most. I hope it's okay that I write this here. I'll move it to my thread if you like. It's helping me to remember to find some compassion for myself for my poor abilities to relate to teens and my impatient tactics with them. Eating guidelines are so much easier, even if the body doesn't respond predictably.

Is Labor Day a NWS for you? Sorry if you've already said.

[lpearlmom]

Thank you so much oolala! I love everything you said and it makes so much sense to me so please keep it here.

More later but wanted to say a quick thanks. Oh and no nws today although we are going to the movies and popcorn is my weakness. Instead of fighting it, I'll make it my lunch. Probably cause more water weight but oh well!

[oolala53]

Some eating experiences are definitely worth water weight.

[lpearlmom]

Yes oolala eating popcorn at the movies is definitely worth it. So many good childhood memories and I just love that feeling of escaping that comes from the total movie experience.

Anyway thanks again for sharing that insight. The realization that we couldn't have acted any differently then we did, is freeing isn't it? The total sum of who we were at that point in our lives made it impossible to have made any other choices than the ones we made. It reminds me of Maya Angelou's famous quotation (one of them).

“You did then what you knew how to do, And when you knew better, You did better. "

I also think what you were saying about the Renaissance is interesting. Sometimes I wonder how such an accomplished person like my husband could have fallen for someone with so little ambition as myself but when I think about why I love him, it's not for all the things he's accomplished but really like you said, the essence of him. I'm reminded of something I read on the fat nutritionist blog the other day. She's talking about not feeling obligated to cook overly complicated foods but it reminded me of how just being alive is hard enough without all these other expectations we pile on ourselves.

"Let me tell you, being human is enough work for anyone. Being alive in a world where terrible and wonderful things happen at random to anyone and everyone at any moment, and the labour we put into mounting defenses against this reality, is a hard damn job. You don’t need to impress yourself or anyone with doing extraneous work just to get fed."

Anyway a lot of good stuff here. I was reading of all people Joan Lunden's blog recently and she was talking about how on some level happiness is a choice. This isn't a new idea but it kind of hit me that I could kind of choose my filter to some extent. Lately I've been saying to myself "happiness is a choice and today I choose happiness". Funny how it kind of forces you to come into the present moment which is where happiness lives. It also helps to clarify all the emotional junk I've been hanging onto that has no place in the happiness equation.

Now finally on to NoS. I was at 0 today on the scale which means 5 lbs up. I'm pretty sure some of its water weight, I'm really not upset. I don't think I'll ever be completely neutral about my weight but it doesn't make or break my day like it used to. My upset that past few days wasn't really related to my weight. It's just my life. A roller coaster.

Today was good. Not a perfect green but close enough to feel like I'm getting back on track.

Break: egg, toast, melon
Lunch: popcorn, green tea latte
Snack (red): 1 Apple, 1 bananA
Dinner: bowl of enchilada soup, an apple

[lpearlmom]

A good day. Always makes me happy when it rains here in always sunny Arizona. My youngest daughter is away for a couple days with her school so things are very calm around here. I may fight more with my oldest daughter but the youngest is definitely my high maintenance one.

Still not a green day but not bad. I ate healthy & got in some exercise so it's all good.

-.6 lbs

Break: gym rat smoothie, chai
Lunch: 2 veggie patties, pita chips w guacamole, melon, green tea latte
Dinner: Thai chili over quinoa, small yogurt w nuts, sangria

Exercise: bike 6 miles

[lpearlmom]

Starting 100 days of green goal. I've tried it before but wasn't motivated enough to stick to it. This time DH is doing it with me and I'm just mostly curious how it will feel to be that consistent with my eating over a goodly amount of time.

I'll allow a couple of bites to taste for seasoning during cooking but other than that I'm going to be very strict. I'm also going to try to avoid the scale till I'm done and just trust my body will get to a good place with moderation.

Okay day one here I come!

[kaalii]

sounds like a great plan, linda!
and so cool your husband is doing the challenge with you... im guessing it will make it so much more relaxed and natural...
go!go!go!

[e-lyn]

Good luck, Linda! After four months of NoS I've discovered that I don't enjoy snacking or late night eating anymore. This has been the biggest eye-opener for me! Not saying that I don't still indulge on occasion, but it makes me so happy to know that there may be food sanity in my future. And that helps me to stay the course even though I have lost no weight so far.

[clarinetgal]

I'm just stopping by to say hello. It's nice to see you again!

[Jen1974]

Love your 100 day goal & that your husband is on board!! That would be a little before Christmas that you'd hit the 100 days. What a great way to end the year (:

[lpearlmom]

Thanks kaali, elyn, Heather & Jen!

Jen: yep it'll put me at dec 17th. Just in time for the holidays!

So far so good! Definitely nice to have dh on board. 😀