Sunday Sabotage....

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Sun May 06, 2012 11:20 pm

I seem to have such a hard time eating moderately on Sundays. I do pretty well during the week (only one red day in last 5 weeks) and I usually do okay on Saturday as a rule...but Sunday comes around and I fall victim to the "This Is My Last Day To Eat What I Want" pitfall. If I don't get a handle on this thing I'm going to cancel out all my efforts during the week! I'd sure like to hear from others who have managed to conquer this beast....any peals of wisdom???

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Mon May 07, 2012 12:30 am

Hi carpediem! I have a few tactics that work for me and maybe will help you too. First of all, you don't have to eat sweets, seconds, or snacks on Sunday...there is that sometimes factor to consider. Just throwing that out there! Most all of us do indulge, however, on the weekends, so here's what I do:
1. Plan ahead. Decide in advance what your treats/sweets will be.
2. Eat only worthy, high quality treats. Become very discriminating about your snacks and/or desserts.
3. Basically keep S days looking the same as N days, with the addition of one or two very special treats.
4. Buy and bring into the house only the treats you will eat on Saturday and Sunday. If it's not there you can't graze on it.
5. Make sure your meals themselves are filled with foods that are yummy and satisfying to you. Then eat them slowly and savor every bite.
Every time you have the thought, "This is the last day to eat what I want," counteract it with a thought similar to this: Today is Saturday/Sunday and another opportunity to eat a really special treat like ______________ that I will have later! Yum!
Hope this helps,

Mimi

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Mon May 07, 2012 2:15 am

GREAT advice, mimi!

Feeling a little embarrassed this evening because after a not too overindulgent Saturday, I too had a particularly heavy day today. I posted a long message last night on my check in page about how I thought I had maybe - just maybe - got a handle on how to conquer my sweet addiction and overindulgence on weekends only to back track on this today. I had a meal out and felt perfectly satisfied until I got home. Realizing we hadn't had dessert at the restaurant, I did the opposite of what I said in my post and dove into the Ben and Jerrys ice cream I had in the freezer. Spoonfuls of it straight out of the carton and not even prepared nicely before doing so. Honestly, I really didn't enjoy it but somehow felt the pull was so strong that I could not resist. This is all in my head of course. However, I will mark it and move on and at least I put the ice cream back in the freezer half full instead of scarfing it all in one go! Progress, huh?!

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Mon May 07, 2012 3:15 am

dito, I'm copying your wisdom to my page

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Mon May 07, 2012 11:42 am

Thank you all for your comments! I know we've all fallen victim to the S Day 'Last-Chance Trap', but it's just so darn frustrating after working so hard all week. I just got weighted and realized my little weekend food fest cost me 3.3 pounds! Two pounds MORE than I lost last week! Grrrrrr!
Okay, it's Monday and I'm back on track. Live and learn.... It's time to tweak my diet rules and lay down the law on weekend binging. Mimi you had some great advice in your post..thank you so much! I especially liked what you said about eating only "worthy, high quality treats" and your #5 comment about seeing the weekend as "another opportunity to eat a really special treat". I don't have much of that sort of thing laying around the house, but it's like I go on a search to find anything chocolate or sweet (even if I don't particularly like it) and gobble it up just because I can. How ridiculous! This week I'm going to think of something really yummy for Saturday and something else really yummy for Sunday, and just stick to those 2 additions to the diet.
Rocks, I am right with you on the Ben and Jerry admission. But if some ice cream is all you did wrong, you should be patting yourself on the back for only straying that one time. It's so easy to mentally sabatoge ourselves.
As I sit here typing this I am aware of the little voice in my head saying "See, I told you you couldn't do this. This diet is just like every other one you tried. You failed before and you will fail again!" Being a perfectionist is not always a good thing, it makes us harder on ourselves than we should be. So....I'm no longer listening to the negative voices in my head! It's a new week, a new start, and a new perspective! Again, thank you both for your support!!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Mon May 07, 2012 12:12 pm

I had the exact same thought yesterday!! After dinner I was thinking 'hmm this is my last chance to get a treat in, I should really have something' and was tempted to eat a small dessert that I had bought for the weekend. But, I really wasn't hungry, and the dessert will keep. So I kept telling myself 'I'll wait for a bit and see if I'm hungry later, then I can have something'.

I ended up having a milkshake a bit later after the OH did a McDonalds run (ugh, at least I avoided those gross burgers, but I can't resist their milkshakes!) but I'm glad I waited and didn't eat the dessert.

I would say that I have been doing NoS for ooh, about a year now?! And I'm only just starting to get to the point where I can limit my eating on weekends and not feel like kicking back against it. That's the blessing and curse of NoS - the rules are simple but they do allow a lot of freedom on weekends, and it can be as difficult as any other diet to be sensible about your eating then. For some people (me included), a heavy weekend can indeed undo all the good work of a week of N days but I think it's important to keep any modifications or weekend rules flexible and slow to introduce.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Mon May 07, 2012 2:03 pm

Thanks Milliem! I agree enthusiastically with everything you said, but find it disheartening to think that even after a year I will be fighting this same weekend demon (I just started NoS the beginning of April). Honestly, we may as well look at this thing logically. If a person is a sweet craver (I am) and if a person is a carb craver (I am), then learning to control through No S or any other diet will probably not magically transform my brain into no longer craving certain foods. The key is to control the cravings, not to expect them to magically disappear. I've been married 37 years and haven't been able to change my husband's way of thinking on anything, so why delude myself into believing I'm going to change either!!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Mon May 07, 2012 3:42 pm

But read your signature line again!!!!

The mind is a powerful thing...for the positive or for the negative! Did you ever read the posts about Mrs. Danvers and the fight against evil head voices?!

http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=6144

I have also used The Beck Diet Solution very successfully to alter my thinking about food and eating issues. I now have a little index card notebook with about 50 cards that I've written containing things that I tell myself when the "voices" act up along with lots of inspirational quotes (many from this board). It takes a few minutes to read through them all, often just enough time for the urge to eat or the negative thinking to dissipate.

Keep going! You can be successful!

Mimi

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Mon May 07, 2012 4:56 pm

I can (eat moderately on S Days) if I think I can!
I can (control my sugar and carb cravings) if I think I can!
I can (squish the evil voices in my head) if I think I can!
I can (take control of my eating habits) if I think I can!
I CAN IF I THINK I CAN....AND I THINK I CAN!!

Thanks for reminding me of my signature line, Mimi

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Mon May 07, 2012 9:52 pm

The Sunday problem is part of the reason I now take S days only on holidays or very special days.

When I started No-S, I'd go to the farmer's market on Saturday morning and in addition to the good vegetables and fruit, I'd buy a treat -- or three or four or more. I couldn't finish them over the weekend. I cut down, but still it seemed like too much for two days. Moderation was gone.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Tue May 08, 2012 2:42 am

I'm afraid if I limited No S Days to holidays and special occasions it would be too long between treats....too long between 'rewards'. You may be right, and I may eventually come to that same conclusion myself, but for now I think I'm going to try limiting myself to one treat a day on each S Day. It won't take me long to figure out if it's going to work.....

Over43 · Post by **Over43** » Tue May 08, 2012 3:17 am

carpediem wrote:I'm afraid if I limited No S Days to holidays and special occasions it would be too long between treats....too long between 'rewards'. You may be right, and I may eventually come to that same conclusion myself, but for now I think I'm going to try limiting myself to one treat a day on each S Day. It won't take me long to figure out if it's going to work.....

We have all over eaten on a Sunday, or a Saturday. I justify the weekends and sometimes end up in a free for all. However, I think a bad day during the weekend doesn't over-ride 5 good days during the week. I think emotionally we think that way, butphysiologically I don't think it makes a difference in the long run.

O43

r.jean · Post by **r.jean** » Tue May 08, 2012 10:48 am

Part of what No S teaches you is how to treat yourself without going hog wild. Take your weekends. Gradually try to be more moderate, but do not make too many rules or you will set yourself up for failure.

No one can stay perpetually on a diet. The key is learn moderation on your free days.

I do not feel I am explaining this very well, but I hope you get what I am trying to say.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Tue May 08, 2012 11:55 am

Thanks Over43 and r.jean! I get what you're both saying and I agree, it's definitely better to have 5 good days and 2 not so good, than to have a whole week of not so good which is the way I was living before No S. And you're right....moderation is the key. I'm very conscious of the fact (like most on this journey) that if I am too strict with myself I run a much higher risk of giving up. That reality scares me because I don't think I have another diet in me. This is it for me. I will never find a diet that makes more sense or is easier to follow. I left once and came back...not happening again!

Lily x · Post by **Lily x** » Tue May 08, 2012 7:35 pm

I've been reading this thread with interest. I definitely have trouble with S days gone wild - they're probably the reason I gave up on 'No S' the first time around. I seem to have a "sweets switch" which is either off or on (don't seem to have nearly so much trouble with snacks or seconds). So when I throw that "sweets switch" on an S day, I seem to lose all reason.

So though it's really early for me to be thinking about mods, I can't help but wonder about trying Mimi's 5 suggestions, all of which seem very sensible and reasonable - and most importantly, do-able. And 5 looks a bit like an S - so it even works from that point of view.

Something to think about, even if I don't try it for a while.

Can I just say that I'm really enjoying reading the forum at the moment? There seems to be some wonderful, supportive folk around right now and I for one really appreciate the advice and guidance provided here. I've had a couple of red days that previously might have sent me running back into the arms of another doomed-to-fail diet plan - but I've been really inspired and motivated by the posts here and in the check in thread. Thank you x x x

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Tue May 08, 2012 11:45 pm

Lily x, I emphatically echo your sentiments concerning this forum! I've checked out countless other diets and I've been in other weight loss forums....none of them have compared to this one. Everyone I've talked to has been so empathetic and supportive. We will succeed in this challenge because we are not in it alone!
I think alot of us have a 'sweet switch', Lily. Maybe it's a common trait with people who tend to be overweight that our control switches are somewhat defective. I know mine sure is. I'm hoping that the art of contolling these impulses is something I can master in time. All I know is I managed to control it yesterday and I controlled it today....good Lord willin' I'll control it tomorrow too!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue May 08, 2012 11:49 pm

carpediem wrote:I'm afraid if I limited No S Days to holidays and special occasions it would be too long between treats....too long between 'rewards'. You may be right, and I may eventually come to that same conclusion myself, but for now I think I'm going to try limiting myself to one treat a day on each S Day. It won't take me long to figure out if it's going to work.....

I only take S days on holidays and special occasions. I allow myself an S daily. I don't always take it, but I can have it. It works the best for me.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Wed May 09, 2012 12:09 am

I meant to say S Day, Wosnes. I didn't notice the typo until I had submitted it...sorry! I was just saying that I think at this point I need the added motivation of knowing that I can indulge a bit on weekends.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 10, 2012 9:12 pm

Well, I'm doing my best to undo the damage I did last week, but I'm a little nervous about the weekend. My S Days go from 7PM Friday-7PM Sunday as a rule, but I know I will be eating cake tomorrow morning. My daughter is getting married soon and we are spending the day shopping for a dress and picking out her cake. She's counting on me to take part in the taste test so we can decide on the flavor for her cake. So I'm thinking tomorrow will have to be a yellow day as it is definitely a special occasion. Then her fiance, who is a chef, is planning on fixing a special Mother's Day meal for me. Not sure what he's cooking, but I'm sure there will be a dessert, and considering his profession, probably a pretty fancy one.
Logic tells me to just eat one plate of food and one serving of dessert. Enjoy that one serving and be done with it. Hopefully I'll be able to report on Monday that I stuck to my guns and Mimi's rules (!) and did not over indulge!

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Thu May 10, 2012 9:47 pm

My daughter is getting married soon, too. She already has her dress and most things picked out. I'm trying to find a mother-of-the-bride dress.

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Thu May 10, 2012 11:21 pm

Cool! I haven't started looking for my dress yet, figure my daughter's is a bit more important

Hopefully by the time I need to start looking I can be a size or two smaller!

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Mon May 14, 2012 12:31 pm

So another weekend has come and gone, and again...I blew it! I do well during the week as a rule, and I seem to do okay (not great but okay) on Saturdays. But Sundays...oh my goodness! I just don't have a handle on that yet at all!
Mimi, I read and reread your 5 steps and they all make such great sense. As simple as these points are, it takes a certain "mind set" to stick to 'em. My mind seems to become pretty 'unset' when Sunday rolls around!
The difference between this weekend and the last is that I'm not beating myself up this time. I did a wee bit better this weekend than last, and I'll do a wee bit better next weekend than I did this time around.
When I first started this lifestyle last month, my goal was to lose 10 pounds a month. Considering how much I have to lose that seemed sensible. But it wasn't. I've changed my goal to 5 pounds a month. Not very much, but slow and steady. If I lose more, good for me. If I dont...oh well. 60 pounds a year sounds great!

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Mon May 14, 2012 5:39 pm

Yes, exactly! What a difference 60 pounds could make! Losing slowing is nerve wracking because most of us are so impatient, but it's the only way to go - plus strong habits are being built while it occurs so that the likelihood of gaining the weight back is reduced dramatically. I'll remind you as I remind myself constantly...aim for progress. Perfection is not attainable!

Keep going!

Mimi

carpediem · Post by **carpediem** » Tue May 15, 2012 2:05 am

Thanks Mimi! Do you have that written on one of your index cards????

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Tue May 15, 2012 1:38 pm

Oh yeah! And scores of others! It really helps!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Thu May 17, 2012 3:51 pm

carpediem wrote:So another weekend has come and gone, and again...I blew it! I do well during the week as a rule, and I seem to do okay (not great but okay) on Saturdays. But Sundays...oh my goodness! I just don't have a handle on that yet at all!

When I first started this lifestyle last month, my goal was to lose 10 pounds a month. Considering how much I have to lose that seemed sensible. But it wasn't. I've changed my goal to 5 pounds a month. Not very much, but slow and steady. If I lose more, good for me. If I dont...oh well. 60 pounds a year sounds great!

I just wanted to pop by and say not to worry too much about S days right now. Firstly - you can't blow an S day, that's the point! Secondly, until you are well into the stage of having N days as really solid habits, it might be counter-productive to try and limit S days too. If you have a moderate S day then great, but if not don't worry too much!

Also, a pound a week is the general guidance for how much weight to lose healthily and moderately, so between 3-5 pounds per month sounds much more reasonable than 10 pounds!!