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Linda's daily check-in
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 230
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow oolala. I'm printing that out. Awesome motivational words.
Ipearlmom I don't think I've posted on your thread before, I know you've been doing NoS for some time now and I'm a relative newby, but your recent post resonated with me. I hope oolala's words have helped you, I have nothing useful to add other than to read and re read them until you feel better about yourself.
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
Posts: 256
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is frustrating when you feel like you're doing everything "right" but not seeing results. Even though No S is reasonable & a better way to live, it doesn't mean it's easy.

I'm right there with you on feeling good about my choices but not seeing before Christmas numbers on the scale, but it always seems like this at this time of year for me so I'm trying to be patient 😜 Plus if I'm honest I've allowed a few more S events than I probably can & still be happy with the stupid numbers on the scale 🙄

And I love what Oolala said about your daughters. I think of that a lot when I think of weight & food issues. It's really motivating to me that my kids see me enjoy food & eat in a way that is a good example to them & No S is so it!!!

Hope you find happiness with where you are. The worst thing about weight is that it seems like no matter where I am at, I can always wish I weighed just a little bit less. It's the worse thing in the world us girls use to measure happiness!!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much oolala. Your post made me tear up but I needed to hear that. No I definitely don't think my self-esteem should be dependent on how much I weigh. And wouldn't want my girls to struggle in this way. They don't. I've. never talked badly about my body or theirs in front of them. I don't talk about dieting or weight loss or good or bad foods.

Yet clearly I still have issues. I don't have the answers yet but you've given me lots to think about. Especially being realistic about what I'm willing to do long-term.

I swear the thing that's bugging me the most is these cute $100 pair of jeans that I stupidly bought 5 lbs ago. Maybe the answer is to just buy another pair in a size up but what a waste of money. Stupid thing to care about I know.

Thanks Jen for posting. It makes me feel better knowing you can relate to what I'm feeling. I agree about always wanting to weigh a little less. Crazy making.

Thanks for posting bluebell! I guess we all get discouraged time to time. I agree, oolala's words are golden. Smile
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1113

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:

I swear the thing that's bugging me the most is these cute $100 pair of jeans that I stupidly bought 5 lbs ago. Maybe the answer is to just buy another pair in a size up but what a waste of money. Stupid thing to care about I know.


A couple of years ago I was really feeling down because I had some cute things in my closet that I didn't think I'd ever fit into again (I still don't expect to, honestly, but I loved them!). I finally decided to see if my daughter wanted them--now she has those favorite two tops of mine and I enjoy seeing them on her, and meanwhile I slowly started buying things I really love at my current size. It's amazing how much wearing clothes that fit right and that we feel good in can help.

I'd encourage you to let go of the Jeans. Maybe one of your daughters could wear them (but if they're too young & would upset you by ruining them, maybe wait a bit). Or maybe you can sell them on Ebay and recoup some of the money (I have a friend who buys and sells designer things on Ebay and makes a lot of money...kind of amazing!). Anyway, if you recouped some of the money or saw them put to good use (gift to a friend could be another option), maybe you wouldn't feel the loss as much? I know I feel better when something just isn't in my closet (and I'm sure I've forgotten some former favorites.)

(((Hugs))) You've done amazing with your weight loss and I hope to catch up to you some day, LOL!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

26 lbs. down, 37 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 861

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can relate to your struggles. I've always, always wanted to weigh less, even when I got under 50 kg/110 lbs and my body went totally crazy, even when I knew and saw how unhealthy that was for me. Now, after my pregnancy, I found myself with some extra pounds to lose, and under tremendous internal pressure to fit into my regular jeans three weeks after giving birth. I KNOW, rationally, that this is nonsense, but on emotional level I'm pretty much devastated. I even complained to my husband I feel "damaged".
What I'm trying to say is that at every stage of our lives we women are constantly struggling with unrealistic expectations about our bodies. It just never ends. But what you focus on, grows. I think - again, that's the rational part of me which is rarely in charge now - we'd be much better off sticking to NoS and directing our energy somewhere else, not giving food so much power over us.
May I suggest some reading? When I was much, much fatter, in my late teens, I discovered Victoria Moran's books. I love her writing - so eloquent! - and I truly believe she helped me got through a very dark spell in my life. One of her books, Fit From Within, is about body image and self-esteem. I highly recommend it.
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1361
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone has had such good things to say on the emotional side. On a purely practical note, when I've had some reds / a crazy long weekend, it usually takes quite a few normal green N days to see any change in the scale. Concentrate on your behaviour and the scale will catch up eventually. The scale is fine for long term tracking, but it can be a fickle beast and often doesn't give the immediate positive reinforcement I'd like it to Smile

Also I totally feel you on the jeans. After finishing my mat leave we could not afford a new work wardrobe for me - I had to wear my existing suits. Grade A head messing right there.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your kind words Merry! I'm thinking it'll be awhile before they fit into those jeans but there is a consignment store I could take them to. I think that'd make me feel a bit better and yeah better to let go of them.

Thank you imogen for being so candid. You're right about the always wanting to weigh less. I can remember weighing like 115 lbs (v skinny for me) and just wanting to get to 113. We rarely say okay this is good enough right? I like the idea on focusing on the rational & thank you for the book reccomendation. I will check it out.

Iron: thanks for the reminder about the practical side of it. I can remember you talking about the "scale having to catch up to our habits sometimes". That's helped me get through some frustrating times. I will keep it in the back of my mind.

I ate a lot today and to be honest was feeling slightly panicky. Today is the most I've weighed in awhile and I can't help but wonder if this is the beginning of gaining it all back.

But after reading all this supportive comments I feel ready to get back on track w my habits. I have to remind myself that I've been more than capable of sticking to NoS in the past and there's no reason I cant continue to do so.

Thanks so much for all the helpful responses!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7005
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is a website that tells you how your weight compares with others of your age and height. It allows you to see how much women in your category THINK they should weight. When you put in THAT number, the new peers then usually want to weigh less. In my category, women are not satisfied with their weight until they weigh 11 lbs. less than I do now, which would put me in the 6th %ile. This would mean I would have to sustain an average deficit of 110 calories a day for an entire year. If I want to eat more than that one day, I would have to compensate on another day.

It MIGHT happen, but it would be a side effect.

This is not to say that I think the climbing weight averages of the U S are a good thing. There are many advantages to reducing overall intake, though it doesn't have to be daily. But it shouldn't be a way to earn our own approval, just more of a rational decision. IMHO

I keep a few pairs of pants that are too small (didn't get them that way on purpose; just the way it worked out) up high in the closet. I usually give myself to the summer equinox to see if they will work out, but I make sure I have ones that fit now. Although that reminds me, I want a white pair that fits now.

I get so many of my clothes at thrift stores or clothing swaps now that I can be a little experimental without regretting money much. But they can spoil you! Then it can feel I ten bucks is too much to waste!
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1113

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:

I get so many of my clothes at thrift stores or clothing swaps now that I can be a little experimental without regretting money much. But they can spoil you! Then it can feel I ten bucks is too much to waste!


LOL, yes!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

26 lbs. down, 37 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1113

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
There is a website that tells you how your weight compares with others of your age and height. It allows you to see how much women in your category THINK they should weight. When you put in THAT number, the new peers then usually want to weigh less.


Link?
_________________
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

26 lbs. down, 37 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh gosh oolala I don't even want to look at that website--too depressing! I love that you shop thrift stores. I get most of my clothes through Stitch Fix these days but can occasionally do target or something.

I realized something yesterday. Habit is where it's at. I know should be obvious to someone that has been following a program for years that's based on the principles of habit but for some reason it didn't really sink in till now.

Even if the 3 meal habit doesn't get me super skinny (prob won't), it will keep my weight stable. These big fluctuations in weight happened because I have been dismissive of the importance of really sticking to the NoS principles. I was in a hurry to get these last several pounds off so I ignored the 3 meals and tried 1 or 2 meals. I got my weight down but it backfired on me. My weight jumped back up once I started eating normally again.

To top it off I haven't been really great about my boundaries. A lot of picking here and there even some sweets thrown in now and then. This made my weight go up even quicker than it would have if I'd just stuck to the dang rules.

Also, I'm rembered get what I learned in the beginning. The stricter you are with the rules, the easier following the rules will become. So I want my habit to be my anchor, to be so strong that it eventually becomes 2nd nature.

I know this has been very obvious to everyone else but I'm just one to want to get away with as much as I can so am finally figuring this out just now. 😊

Anyway today was Green!! Was a good day other than the fact that my oldest daughter is driving me mad. She's so stressed out about school. Is summer here yet??

-41.6 lbs (ugh!)

Break: oatmeal w fruit
Lunch: low fat veg quesadilla, chips w guac, fruit
Dinner: bbq portobello mushroom burger, chips, cucumber salad, fruit, wine

Exercise: 30 min walk
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"Habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing." ~Ironchef

Lost 45 lbs

Instagram "lpearlmom"
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1361
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
I realized something yesterday. Habit is where it's at.

I realised this last year, when I tried to tinker with S days and S events and went a bit off the rails. As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing Smile So yeah, even years in to this journey, still realising stuff as I go along!

Well done on the Green Day!!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ironchef wrote:
As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing!!


I love this so much that I'm stealing it for my sig line. Smile

I forgot how good it feels to be super strict w/ the rules. No guessing, no beating myself up and meals perfectly enjoyable and guilt-free. I suddenly dont care so much about losing more weight or at least I'm in no hurry.

Green day--yay!!

Break: oatmeal w/ fruit
Lunch: portobello mushroom burger, chips, guacamole, yogurt w fruit
Dinner: adobo chicken, rice, broccoli soup, toast , wine

Exercise: 20 mins upper body w Leslie.
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"Habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing." ~Ironchef

Lost 45 lbs

Instagram "lpearlmom"
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7005
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Even if the 3 meal habit doesn't get me super skinny (prob won't), it will keep my weight stable. These big fluctuations in weight happened because I have been dismissive of the importance of really sticking to the NoS principles. I was in a hurry to get these last several pounds off so I ignored the 3 meals and tried 1 or 2 meals. I got my weight down but it backfired on me. My weight jumped back up once I started eating normally again.

To top it off I haven't been really great about my boundaries. A lot of picking here and there even some sweets thrown in now and then. This made my weight go up even quicker than it would have if I'd just stuck to the dang rules.

Also, I'm rembered get what I learned in the beginning. The stricter you are with the rules, the easier following the rules will become. So I want my habit to be my anchor, to be so strong that it eventually becomes 2nd nature.


Do we have permission to remind you of this when you start talking of deviating, at least for six months?

I decree that you can do your experimenting on S days but not until green feels normal again.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol yes you can oolala and you know me too well! I realize I'm a bit of a roller coaster at times but just keeping it real.

Today was good. Yesterday I went to the dentist because a tooth was bothering and the next thing I know, I'm getting a root canal. But the good news is I can drink smoothies again without writhing in pain.

My mom came today to watch the kids for us this weekend while we go to Seattle. I'm super excited to have a romantic weekend w/dh.

Break: pumpkin smoothie
Lunch: chicken, rice, chips, guacamole, yogurt, fruit
Dinner: lasagna w/ zucchini noodles, salad, bread, wine

(Looks like a lot of food but it's small portions on a small plate).

Exercise: 20 mins lower body w/ Leslie
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"Habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing." ~Ironchef

Lost 45 lbs

Instagram "lpearlmom"


Last edited by lpearlmom on Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:43 am; edited 2 times in total
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 608
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
ironchef wrote:
As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing!!


I love this so much that I'm stealing it for my sig line. Smile



haha! funny, well put and sooo true!
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1361
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go Linda - you're ending the week strong!

Hope you have a lovely weekend away, how lovely to get some one on one time with your man Smile
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you iron!!

Today was a red day but for such a dumb reason! We went out to lunch for sushi and I was so careful with my virtual plating. I guesstimated how many pieces of sushi would fit on one plate and I ended up eating less than that. Well at the end of the meal the waitress brought us a small plate of dessert to share and said "I know you said you were too full for dessert but here's a lil something anyway".

Why do ppl do that? I know she was trying to be nice but it really makes you feel obligated to have some. And of course i was w my mom & dh both of whom have to watch carbs for medical reasons so I felt even more pressured to eat my share. Well I ate the cherry on top and one bite then realized how annoyed I was at the whole thing and stopped. Too late but lesson learned. Do not eat in order to please other people... Ever.

Break: oatmeal, fruit
Lunch: sushi, miso soup, 1 cherry & 1 bite of mochi
Dinner: roast beef, tomato soup, bread, salad
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Lost 45 lbs

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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7005
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 6:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, the food pushers! It's so ingrained in us to offer sweets as something nice. Did your mom and dh eat the dessert even though they are supposed to watch carbs? That's a little scary.

May I suggest: "Oh, how kind of you! We really are full. Can I have a container? Our daughters will love this."

Not saying it would be easy. But some skinny people would do it without even thinking about it.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great idea oolala! I think as long as I have a plan going into it, I'll be fine.

We got in from Seattle late last night and I didn't get to sleep till 1am so I'm exhausted. We had a great time. The hotel was amazing and Seattle is such a great city. So much going on and the food... Don't even get me started. Needless to say we ate ALot! And drank a fair amount too but was nice to spend time together sleeping in, ordering room service, enjoying our gorgeous view and exploring the city.

We even met up with some friends from when dh was in medschool. Was really nice especially since I get along with the wife so well. She's gorgeous though and was all into taking pictures together. Ugh I look terrible in them but to be fair I was pretty exhausted and my hair was ruined from the rain.

As much as I loved the city I missed my kids and it was way too cold for me so I'm happy to be home. Today was rough but I made it through. I didn't put enough on my plate at lunch and had to white knuckle it to dinner. I was still hungry after dinner to but managed to hold out. Tomorrow I'll have a good breakfast. Now I need sleep.

Break: oatmeal , fruit
Lunch: veg burger on low carb bread, parsnip chips, dip, melon slice
Dinner: Mexican shrimp salad, wine
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Lost 45 lbs

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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1361
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your weekend sounds lovely Linda!

Have a great week Smile
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3118
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks iron!

Unfortunately the last couple of days have not been. Our greyhound attacked our little dog and she ended up losing an eye. Sad

It was pretty horrific and we made the hard decision to give back our greyhound to the adoption agency. It's just not fair to our little dog plus he's also snapped at our kids a couple of times so just came down to a safety issue.

Heartbreaking all around but our sweet little Tessa is home now and recovering nicely with round the clock care from all of us.

Needless to say this week has been a mixed bag. Mon & tues & fri green; wens & Thursday red. Today was okay but way too many sweets which left me feeling blech.

Yesterday while I was dealing with the whole dog thing I got a text from dhs co-worker about wanting to have dinner with us this weekend. Instead of just saying it wasn't a good time for us, I found myself bending over backwards to try to make it work. I even ended up inviting more people which led to a mess because not every could make the same times so inevitably someone's left out. Ugh.

When I thought about why I continually get myself into these messes, I realized it's more than just being a people pleaser. It's not that I'm so much afraid of letting people down as I just generally get a rush out of making people happy. So I find my first instinct is do what I think will make other people happy but then after that initial rush I'm like oh sh*t is that even what I really want? Doesn't my happiness count to? And if I'm left resenting the situation that's not really helping anyone anyway, right?

So not sure what the answer is because I'm worried if I really only do what makes me happy (too) I'll just be a huge selfish pr*ck with zero social life. Maybe I just need to trust that little gnawing in my stomach I get before I'm about to say or do something I'll regret. That's probably a good start.
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 608
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

uff, linda, im so sorry about the dog situation... it must have been very stressful and heartbreaking... i would have made the same decision...

about social life and saying no... not sure if it helps but i have accepted that i have phases when im more social and less social... when i say more yes and when i allow myself to say no... it can be scary because in the no phases i also have a feeling that my social life might die and then i will end up all alone but that is never the case... humans are zoon politicon... if and when we need we will always find someone while good friends will understand...
and feeling lonely has nothing to do with our social life... that is a whole other problem and also very human to feel from time to time...
i work with people/children so sometimes i really need more time alone to reboot... but i dont "count" my work as my social life...
some people have constant (whether higher or lower) level of socialising... and some of us just fluctuate... i think it is important to find a way to be ok with whatever type we are...
and, as you already said, that gnawing feeling... it is good to trust it...
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Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
Posts: 256
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry about your dog!! That sounds so hard ):

I do the same thing socialy, agreeing to things I feel I "should" do & than wishing I hadn't. Sometimes I take on too much & feel totally drained after, but others I end up having so much fun & am glad I "forced" myself to do it. It seems the difference is how busy we are. When my crew is running to activities, practices, school events, & me & my husband are busy at work that is about all I can handle. My problem is that my life is always busy so it's hard to find the perfect time to be social (:
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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Location: Australia

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Linda, I'm so sorry about your dogs, that's just heartbreaking. Hugs to you, and extra snuggles to your little Tessa. Absolutely the right call, but that doesn't make it easy.

A lot of social events I organise I regret organising at some stage in the beforehand planning, and the larger and more complex the more likely I am to regret. Just because it often doesn't seem worth it when you're doing the work: getting organised, negotiating everything, paying for stuff, getting things lined up that will suit the kids' routines and not turn them into tired, hungry bears. Usually I'm happy afterwards that I got organised and did it, but sometimes not. I'm kind of used to it, and over time I've gotten a bit better at what I commit to.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7005
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, there was a gasp here with that dog issue.

I doubt you will lose significant numbers of friends to socialize with by using a few no's. Just remember that you could have said, gee, that would be fun, but it won't work this weekend. Let's be in touch later. (IF you actually do want to get in touch later. Otherwise, you can leave it hanging. People can interpret that however. )

But I actually have lost and do lose friends, though it doesn't seem from my saying no, and it is a little frightening. Recently, two people that I thought were willing to be friends have stopped responding to texts. I've gotten hurt with them before, gotten over it, and reached out again, had a decent response, but then this. I don't have any possible replacements. I just don't meet that many people I feel that sympatico with. I wasn't that aware or concerned with it 20 years ago, and am not sure I could have done much differently. It gets tiring putting so much work into it and then having to move on, like constantly auditioning. But maybe it's a cosmic lesson in paying attention to my inner essence? I thought that's what hermits in India did, but they don't all fare so well...

I don't think we can ever be totally enthused about all what we say yes to. But it would be nice to feel more conviction and pleasure. Laughing
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks kaalii, Jen, iron & oolala!

The dog thing has been tough. Many tears by everyone over the weekend but it definitely brings us closer in these tough moments. Everyone is being so kind to each other & Tessa is being an absolute trooper. She's also enjoying all the extra pampering which she absolutely deserves of course.

I've never given up a dog before even some really difficult ones but it's amazing how much more relaxed the house feels now that he's gone. I didn't realize how much tension I'd been caring. It's bittersweet though as I miss him & feel like we let him down. Just one of those hard decisions in life.

I guess I'm not the only one who has this social dilemmas. I think I'm just surprised at how little thought my enjoyment of the situation goes into my planning of these things. Dh told me he'd rather not socialize if given the choice. He's very friendly & talkative so this surprised me. I think the difference is I get a big boost to my self esteem when I have a full social calander but he does not base his self worth on such things.

Oolala if you're interested in an instant circle of friends condider political activism. Ive met so many great ppl. It's actually a little overwhelming but wonderful at the same time.

I haven weighed myself in days and am a bit nervous to get in the scale tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting in some exercise tomorrow.

Falling asleep...
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ironchef



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope you had a more peaceful week this week and got some rest! Don't worry too much what the scales say.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks iron! Been a pretty good week except my reflux has been acting up so Sometimes I need to eat a cracker here or there. Despite that, my weight was down a bit but I had a doozie of a Weekend. I swear I don't know what it's going to take to have decent S days. I feel like nobody else has gone this long doing NoS without having calmer S days.

I try to put in structure and it works for a short while. The problem is in the back of my mind I know it's not really part of the official rules so I always feel justified breaking my S day rules. Do I just accept this or keep trying to calm them down?

Today I went to a leadership meeting for different activist group and I just felt very out of place. Everyone was just very intense, outspoken & had super organized groups. It made me feel just a little unsure of myself but at the same time it was good to see not all of these opportunities are going to be a good fit for me. I really need to pick those that feel right and are enjoyable. I think this will be a better fit for someone else in my group but I'll put my energies elsewhere.

Still when I came home I just wanted to eat & eat. Social anxiety is a big eating trigger for me. Not during but after a party or event I'll want to come home and eat while I think about all the things I said or did that I should have done differently. Even when everything goes great, I still can think of one or two things I should have done differently like which room I should have had us sit in (this is one that gets me a lot). Anyway I'm pretty much a neurotic mess but it's good to be aware of my triggers if nothing else.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Break: avocado toast, coffee
Lunch: small serving pad Thai noodles, avocado toast, couple handful nuts
Snack: several small coconut thins with milk, lollipop, couple crackers
Dinner: seared tuna , broccoli, salad
Dessert: froyo, lollipop
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look out I'm about to take over your thread.

I've been to a couple of politically-oriented meetings. I don't see myself getting very involved in a group. I'm not completely at ease about this because I don't like the idea of my just sitting on the sidelines and complaining, but, aaagh, anything I say to defend not being more active just sounds so defeatist, and I don't want to hear myself saying it.

Regarding how long it's gone on not having calmer S days, how long have you had consistent N days?

If I'm honest, I actually don't think I have calm S days even now, if calm means having a set routine that leaves me not feeling any desire to eat willy nilly or not getting at least a little too full. I've come to accept it, but I've also opted to not let it go on for as long during any one day as i used to, meaning on some S days, I'll just stop eating at a certain point, often by about 3 in the afternoon. I rarely get legitimately hungry before bed. It's become common for me to skip dinner on at least one weekend day but I can because I have no one to eat dinner with. I like to think that if I had dinner plans, I could eat during the day in a way to have at least somewhat of an appetite for it. I have been able to do that, but it has meant consciously choosing not to eat during the day at times I got the inkling to. The desire isn't gone. (I'm probably going to double post this on my thread and add to it.)

The one thing I can say is that consistently not giving in to any particular trigger is probably the best way to weaken it, though it may just mostly go underground. For example, for you, if you smell even a whiff of social anxiety as the stimulus to eat, and you want to weaken the connection, absolutely don't eat in response, no matter how hard it seems at the time,or what other excuse comes in to justify it. I don't believe that even perfect N days can eliminate the desire to pair eating with the thoughts and sensations of anxiety, if that has been a habit. If we then reinforce it on S days, the connection will likely stay pretty strong. I wish I had better news. I know I'm haunted at times by reports from people that they just aren't bothered by any of this stuff anymore, but I've decided that there's an awful lot of luck involved in being able to stumble on the right strategy or just having it go away. I had a friend who was plagued by terrible anxiety about her future (she has no food issues) for a few years. She had been doing all kinds of things and was talking to a religious counselor about it, and he said something like, well, just keep doing X, and see if after such and such (she was moving to a new state), things are better. She said a few weeks later, the sense of dread just went away. She can't say it was because of anything she did, because when it finally lifted, she wasn't doing anything that different. I asked if she thought it was because she moved, and liked her new town, and she said she didn't think so. It's been more than a year and she has just the run-of-the-mill daily frustrations and annoyances. Doesn't have to expend any effort to stay on a more even keel. I called it grace and she agreed. You can't control grace. You can just be grateful for it.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
I swear I don't know what it's going to take to have decent S days. I feel like nobody else has gone this long doing NoS without having calmer S days.

I try to put in structure and it works for a short while. The problem is in the back of my mind I know it's not really part of the official rules so I always feel justified breaking my S day rules. Do I just accept this or keep trying to calm them down?


I'll be honest--for the most part I just don't worry about S days or try to make them anything specific. If my first day is crazy, I try to make the second less so. If the second day is crazy instead, then I just focus on being really careful on N days.

My first couple of months on No-S had super crazy S days and it bothered me a lot, but then they did relax some. But what I've noticed is that there are definitely better and worse ones, and some are still crazy, and I've just decided not to make that my focus. I think if I focus on trying to tighten them up, it will just make me want to rebel & be more crazy--and that I'll have a better chance of some of them being decent if I just focus on N days.

I do try to pay attention to how I feel on them though. Like, if I have a lot of sugar I don't feel that well afterward, or if I overstuff myself, that doesn't feel so great--so I try to avoid those experiences. I don't think I've arrived at not being an idiot though! My losses might be more if I did. But S days are what keep me going on N days, and I want to keep N days going.

lpearlmom wrote:
Today I went to a leadership meeting for different activist group and I just felt very out of place. Everyone was just very intense, outspoken & had super organized groups. It made me feel just a little unsure of myself but at the same time it was good to see not all of these opportunities are going to be a good fit for me. I really need to pick those that feel right and are enjoyable. I think this will be a better fit for someone else in my group but I'll put my energies elsewhere.

Still when I came home I just wanted to eat & eat. Social anxiety is a big eating trigger for me. Not during but after a party or event I'll want to come home and eat while I think about all the things I said or did that I should have done differently. Even when everything goes great, I still can think of one or two things I should have done differently like which room I should have had us sit in (this is one that gets me a lot). Anyway I'm pretty much a neurotic mess but it's good to be aware of my triggers if nothing else.


I actually change my meal times sometimes when I know I will have a meeting that I'll likely want to eat after (not for the same reason though). Anyway, I'll have a later breakfast and later lunch and then wait to have dinner afterward. I don't know if that would work for you or would help you stick to N day habits though.

I know how easy it is to pick at oneself though and second-guess all that you do. I'm thinking any group you are involved in is blessed to have you though, and I hope you can find things that are the right fit for you. Give yourself much grace Smile. My pastor once told me to seek excellence instead of perfection. Perfectionists are negative thinkers--something can be 95% great but they can only focus on the 5% that wasn't great. 95% is an A! Someone who focuses on excellence though can see that it was mostly great, might see some negatives and learn/grow from them but don't over-focus on that 5%. Sometimes I catch myself doing just that and make myself focus on what went well instead. Maybe try making a list of things you think went well, things you're glad for etc... to help you counter the negative thoughts.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can take over my thread anytime oolala! Thanks for the response!

Honestly most my N days are greenish and have been for a couple years now. My issue is I tend to pick a little when cooking food so not perfect but my fails tend to be minor fails. That said maybe if I cleaned that up it would carry over to my S days.

Not sure what it'll take to for my S days to get better but I think it's going to involve stricter boundaries with some white knuckling in the beginning. Or maybe like your friend it'll just get better on its own.

Also, I appreciate your honesty about your S days. It sounds like they're pretty good but not perfect. I see people on here who almost immediately get s days down and I can't help wonder what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm just prone to extremes.


As far as the political stuff goes, I think it's just a matter of finding the right fit. I really like my small group but this bigger group didn't feel comfortable for some reason. Tomorrow I'm going to a Precinct committee training and I'm hoping that's something I'll enjoy.

Oolala, please don't completely ignore that desire to do something. There's a couple of really easy ways you can help out from the comfort of your own home:

1) Daily action will send you a text with an issue and will directly connect you to your local reps: https://www.facebook.com/YourDailyAction/?ref=ts&fref=ts

2) Resistbot: you can text this number anytime with word Resist and it will fax your reps about any issue you like: https://resistbot.io

Today was good. My girls are home for Spring Break so we spent the day decluttering their rooms. Was actually pretty fun.

Had a green day but no exercise. :/

Break: smoothie
Lunch: low-carb tostada, Apple
Dinner: chickpea curry over quinoa, salad w seared tuna, wine
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 230
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Linda
I was just reading through your thread and relating to your frustrations with S days. I have only been following NoS for 5 months so I am still a relative newby but I had also reached a point of frustration with my S days a few weeks ago. I had reached a stage where I was just mindlessly stuffing my face with food for most of the day and not actually enjoying any of it apart from my meals. I will quote oolala (I hope she doesn't mind, I've already stolen her words for my signature!) because she helped me a lot. I was resisting implementing any kind of rules on S days but oolala's comment kind of stuck in my head:

"S days might be eating days for a long time. You'll either get over it with no effort or you'll get sick of it and use a mod. Still win win, IMHO"

So I realised I had in fact become sick of it and decided the way ahead for me was no snacks. At all. I have seconds and sweets if I want them, but only at mealtimes. I'm two weekends in and its really helping. I am able to feel some element of control without feeling deprived. And my sweets are much more carefully planned and enjoyed because I don't have free reign.
Anyway I'm not sure if any of that helps but wanted to share just in case, and to say that you're not alone! Incidentally after two weekends of the mod, the scales shifted and I lost two pounds, making 14 in total, which you kindly commented on in my own check in.
Good luck with it and don't lose heart, people like you who have been so successful with NoS are an inspiration to people like me!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry: so funny we must have been posting at the same time because I didn't see your comment till after I posted today. Wanted to say thank you though for the kind words and great advice.

I really like your mindset and think I really need to just let go of worrying about S days for now. I do like that you make a mental note of how things felt. Maybe my brain will start to get the message that stuffing oneself isn't as fun as it sounds. Wink We've both managed to lose weight despite our imperfect S days so we must be doing something right.

Also I love the idea of focusing on excellence rather than perfection. It feels so much more doable and yes less negative. I tend to do very well with new things in the beginning but somewhere along the way I feel rattled and my insecurities start coming out. That's when I just want to run away & hide. I think that's what's happening now with my current social/activists situation. This time I'm going to try to step back and regroup instead of running away completely.

Thanks again Merry. A lot of super helpful stuff there!
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After pretty much any social interaction, I nit pick it apart a bit (or a lot) in my head. No matter how much fun I had at the time, afterwards my brain starts in: Did I talk too much and dominate the conversation? Did I talk too little and bore people? Was she annoyed I didn't ask any follow up questions about x difficult issue? Was he annoyed I pushed for too much information about y difficult issue? Why didn't I remember to offer the fruit salad before the kids got hungry and grumpy? Was it rude to ask everyone to get their own drinks in the kitchen, is that why those guys left early?

About the only thing that helps me is knowing that I do it. So, if possible, I can step outside myself a little (go a bit meta!) and say "hey, there goes my brain again, doing it's usual post-game review. My brain sure does have plenty of critical things to say tonight." Doesn't always work, especially if I'm tired or down, but sometimes it can help me get into a better frame of mind, kind of shrug and say "ha, brains are funny" instead of taking it all to heart.

I'm so impressed with your activism and community involvement Linda, you're a real trooper!
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Jen1974



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry & Ironchef you both made my day with what you wrote!!

Merry that perfectionism vs. excellence was so much want I needed to hear right now. I've been trying really hard & feeling like I keep coming up short, not so much with No S, but with being a good mom/wife & good at taking care of my house & doing a good job at work. That was good for my soul to read that (:

Ironchef what you wrote about what goes through your mind after socializing is so me!! Love how you look at it as your brain being silly vs. something that you actually did or didn't do (: (:

Linda I always love reading your posts!!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Bluebell for your support! I like the idea of S day mods, I just can never stick to them for some reason. I'm so happy it seems to be doing the trick for you. It makes sense but my brain is just not having any if it. I think I'm going to have to try Merry's approach of just not worrying about them for now and to focus on my N days.
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Bluebell



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Thanks Bluebell for your support! I like the idea of S day mods, I just can never stick to them for some reason. I'm so happy it seems to be doing the trick for you. It makes sense but my brain is just not having any if it. I think I'm going to have to try Merry's approach of just not worrying about them for now and to focus on my N days.

Sounds like a plan! Good luck Smile
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kaalii



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:
My pastor once told me to seek excellence instead of perfection.

beautifull!!
this could be also posted in the thread with the inspiring noS quotes...

linda, i would also focus on N days...
to me, the whole wisdom of noS lies in that focus...
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all the great support!

Iron: you nailed it. That's exactly the kind of thoughts that go through my head. It's a relief really to know its not just me. And I even used your technique last night when I was at a training session. I started in with that kind of self-talk and I said oh I'm doing that thing again. It kind of dissipated pretty quickly after that.

Life is crazy sometimes. Just when I was feelings down on myself for not being leader material and feeling like the leadership group wasn't for me, I got asked to be a chair of an even bigger group which means I'll definitely need to go to the leadership meetings. I think it's good for me though. Instead of running away maybe I can conquer my discomfort instead.

Shortly after I got asked to do that, I got a phone call out of the blue asking for a phone interview for a job I applied for a long time ago. I had totally forgotten about it and I'm not even sure I want it. Still was nice to be asked and good practice for me. My life has has certainly gotten more interesting over the last few months.

Today was pretty good. I helped my oldest daughter declutter her room. It was good hanging out with her because my youngest daughter has a way of dominating my attention. The only downside was that when I picked my daughter up later from the bowling alley, she got really pissy at me for not remembering we had to go buy her graduation dress tomorrow. I kind of snapped and loss my temper with her. I haven't done that in awhile & im still feeling guilty about it although we did make up. Parenting is not for the weak of heart!

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veg sandwich, fruit, chips, guac
Dinner: sausage, white bean & escarole soup, bread, grapes

P.S. I posted a pic of my soup on fb and my friend gave me a big guilt trip for eating meat (she's vegan). I'm super annoyed!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda, I do actually do a fair amount of political stuff online. I just meant I doubt I will meet people whom I will socialize with outside of that pursuit.

I know people through other pursuits. They are just not people who seem available for just plain socializing with, who might just come over and hang out, or who would just want to keep up with me for personal reasons (and I with them) on a frequent basis. I thought I had a couple but they've stopped responding. Believe me, I've made overtures. But I think I'm not really alone in this. I'm pretty sure it's a phenomenon in America now that a lot of social interaction outside of family life is situational. Once the situation is over, the contact is, too. And family life is fragmented as well. The cost of freedom.

ironchef, me, too. I have contentious ones, too. Yesterday a woman was sitting in her car in front of mine parked on a street when I came out to get a grocery bag from the car. She told me I had blocked her in and she couldn't get out. She had at least two feet between my car and hers and more than two feet in front of her. I've gotten INTO much tighter spaces, never mind getting out of one. I told her she had plenty of room. She insisted and I actually told her she should learn to drive! That I would guide her and wouldn't move until she tried! She said, "Oh, really," and stared me down. I got so flummoxed I forgot that I was just there to get a bag and ended up droving into the grocery parking lot, having to circle around and around to get another spot. What did she do? Jus moved her car back so there was tons of room on both sides and taking away another parking spot on the street. Now, would I have been sorry just moving my car without saying anything (I was NOT going to say I was sorry that she can't maneuver her car) and chalking her up to be a you-know-what but still stung by her accusation, or kicking myself that I got so defensive so fast, especially with someone who obviously wasn't going to see her part in the problem? Why am I so fearful of being walked all over in a situation where so little was at stake? But I feel like once something like that has happened, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't because it's going to whirl around in my head either way.

Unless I thought she was really crazy. Then I wouldn't take it seriously and would have just moved and gone back in the market without thinking about it much.

So, it would probably pay me to just assume most people are nuts and give most of them a pass.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh that's awesome that you're making phone calls and stuff. I feel the opposite though about it being situational. I'm already doing stuff outside of any activism work with some of these people and can definitely see it leading to some lifelong friendships.

That could be because in Arizona we are outnumbered and just so happy to have found each other. We're all just so tired of staying quiet at dinner parties and pretending to be something we're not that being together is a huge relief.

That lady sounds a bit crazy to me to be honest. I grew up in California and everyone knows you better be able to get in and out of tight parking spaces if you want to survive. I would have just taken my bag and gone back in the store but yeah my brain would have picked apart the situation for awhile.

Today was good. My weight is a up a couple pounds for no good reason. Normal fluctuations I'm guessing. *shrug* I took my oldest to the airport tonight so she could visit her grandma. She's getting so independent. I'm sure she'll have a blast.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veggie bagel sandwich, 4 fries, 1/4 of tuna melt
Dinner: sw chicken salad, 1/2 glass wine

Need to exercise. :/
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