Starting to freak out

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

Post Reply
Lilybug
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:46 am

Starting to freak out

Post by Lilybug » Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:26 am

I saw a video of me on fb (thanks sis) and I looked huge! I ate soooo much on my s day birthday (and I have really been eating a lot period, even though I have managed to get quite a few green days.

I feel crappy today. What are your suggestions at this point? Is this the feeling that makes you inherently start eating less? I do feel like eating light today, but who knows how I'll feel later?

I really do want to make this work.

Anther thing, I haven't weighed this whole time. I'm afraid it will send me running back to weight watchers although I shudder at the thought.

Do I just think to myself, "time to pump up the fruits and veggies and cut back on the crap"?

Who here has been where I am and successfully made it work? It seems like this could be a pivotal moment.

Whosonfirst
Posts: 538
Joined: Thu Nov 16, 2006 12:32 pm

Post by Whosonfirst » Mon Jun 12, 2017 12:18 pm

For starters, unfriend your sister on FB, JUST KIDDING! At my heaviest years ago, I saw a pic of myself coming out of the ocean at Va. Beach and asked my wife who's that? When she answered YOU, I knew it was time to do something. Some time later, I had my wife take a front and side view pic of me, and hung them on the dresser mirror for my own motivation. Not sure it was my entire motivating factor, but it had some positive effect on my eating better and moving more.

I think stepping on a scale to know what's ground zero is a good idea, although I'm not a big subscriber to weighing frequently. But I am a big believer in keeping some form of daily(or weekly) logging to hold ourselves accountable. Just don't give up, it's a struggle for most of us, and everyone has to do it in their own way.
(edit) I too have been thinking about eating more fruit and more proteins, so I'm also drawn back to what's worked in the past. Instead I'm going to figure out how to incorporate that into NoS.
https://twitter.com/SipeEngineering
Current weight(9/2020)-212 lbs.
Goal Weight- 205 lbs.
NoS Goal: >= 80% Success days

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jun 12, 2017 1:26 pm

Lily: seeing pics of myself is a big trigger for me as well. NoS is not a quick fix, it's a long-term solution that will require some patience. I've been doing Nos for about three years now and I barely lost any weight the first year.

Right now you should just be focused on getting the habits in place. Your reward is the sanity that brings to your life. For me it took away the constant obsessing about food & diets. It also raised myself esteem because I could clearly see that I wasn't overeating. I felt good about that. I did still pile my plates with heavy food but that's different than the non-stop eating I was doing beforehand. I felt like my relationship with food was finally normalizing.

In the 2nd year I felt ready to make small changes and the weight started to come off. But you have to be ready otherwise it'll feel like your old diet days and will backfire. You'll know when you're ready, but you're habits need to be firmly in place. Unfortunately, I think trying to skip that step is a big mistake.

In the meantime enjoy how it feels to eat normally, remember how dissatisfying other options to Nos are, remember you're more than a number on the scale, look at plus size models and remember that beauty comes in all sizes. Also reading books about the history of the thin culture or body acceptance can be really helpful.

Believe me I've tried every possible diet and they are all just big dead ends. The only viable solution that I've found is nos. Even if I never lost a single pound I'd be grateful for finding it but I did manage to lose 40+ lbs over the next two years. I still brace myself when I'm about to look at a photo of me but the other day I saw a photo of me in a fitted dress and actually felt totally fine with what I saw.

Oh and btw, my S days are only now starting to calm down so don't worry about that for now.

You can do this. You deserve this. Best of luck.

Linda
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 337
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Re: Starting to freak out

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Mon Jun 12, 2017 1:46 pm

Lilybug wrote:Who here has been where I am and successfully made it work? It seems like this could be a pivotal moment.
Hi Lilybug! :)

Your use of the term "pivotal moment" is what prompted me to post because I used that exact term to describe the moment that I decided enough was enough--I was losing my excess fat once and for all. I had had it, and was sick and tired of the same cycle year after year after year.

In Spring of 2016, I was in our local mall's Old Navy store trying on some cute summer dresses. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was dismayed (yet again) at how lumpy and frumpy I looked, even though my BMI and weight was at a perfectly normal level for my height. There clearly was still too much fat on my body, and I was so sick and tired of looking the way I did. I left the mall crying that day, but bound and determined to do something about it. Failure was no longer an option.

Having tried NoS in the past, I revisited it and modified the plan to make it work for me. I reached my initial goal in less than two months, and progressed beyond it over the next several months, reaching my now steady weight of <115 pounds, with 15-16% body fat. I'm very happy with how I look now, and am really looking forward to our beach vacation this summer!

One of the many keys for my success was keeping in mind that feeling I had when I looked in the Old Navy store mirror. Whenever I was tempted to go off plan, I brought that moment to mind. In the beginning, it worked every single time. Over time, the natural human tendency to move towards complacency eventually takes over, and it gets more challenging to call to mind the "pivotal moment," but that's where the scale comes in. I weigh daily, twice (morning and evening), to objectively check that I'm maintaining. If my weight is up, I eat less the following day(s) until it's back to where it should be.

Success is VERY possible. Sear that pivotal moment of yours in your mind to keep you from veering off plan. Whenever you encounter temptations for seconds, snacks, or sweets, remind yourself of that FB video, and how it made you feel. Know that not giving up and sticking to the plan will get you away from that feeling, and you will eventually reach your goal(s).

Please feel free to search back through my posts over the last year, including my one-year success story for more details on how I succeeded, including battling some setbacks. Also feel free to PM me if you'd prefer.

Good luck with moving forward--stay the course, and you will succeed! :)
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jun 12, 2017 2:41 pm

I wasn't going to post this here and I'm sorry if this is offensive to you life but I'd have to respectfully disagree with your advice. Nos is about moderate eating/exercise habits. Over time this should get you to a healthy weight for you.

Weighing yourself twice a day is obsessive, not healthy , not normal. Fat shaming yourself Is not helpful nor healthy. Its traditional dieting techniques at its worse and we know how well that turns out.

Anyway do what feels best for you but be careful of advice that values thinness over self-worth.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

Lilybug
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:46 am

Post by Lilybug » Mon Jun 12, 2017 5:26 pm

Thanks everyone. A lot to think about. Just for today, I'm going to eat lighter because I want to. My stomach actually does not want to be full.

I have been eating really large portions beacause I was such a big snacker that it made me nervous to swear off snacks. I'm beginning to realize that I wasn't starve to death between meals lol.

The weekends I'm having several treats. This weekend with the birthday stuff was way over the top. I don't want to repeat. Also, I need to watch the alcohol. For my weight and my anxiety. I think it makes it worse not to mention wrecks my sleep.

I'm not sure if I'll face the scale or not. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of freaking out and going to try another diet. I really don't want to do that.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jun 12, 2017 5:40 pm

Sounds good. Big *hugs*. Just take it one day at a time.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

Bluebell
Posts: 633
Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2016 7:17 pm
Location: Hampshire UK

Post by Bluebell » Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:24 pm

lpearlmom wrote:I wasn't going to post this here and I'm sorry if this is offensive to you life but I'd have to respectfully disagree with your advice. Nos is about moderate eating/exercise habits. Over time this should get you to a healthy weight for you.

Weighing yourself twice a day is obsessive, not healthy , not normal. Fat shaming yourself Is not helpful nor healthy. Its traditional dieting techniques at its worse and we know how well that turns out.

Anyway do what feels best for you but be careful of advice that values thinness over self-worth.
Ipearlmom I have to second this, again apologies Lifeisablessing if you are offended but what you describe just seems so out of keeping with the ethos and spirit of NoS, as I see it at least.
NoS has taught me to be kind to myself, a lesson I have never managed to learn throughout my many years of yoyo dieting. Slow weight loss, or maintenance, is OK for the first time in my life.
The best advice I can give is to keep on keeping on. There will be blips along the way but if you can embrace 'mark it and move on' you will succeed. It may take time but the benefits to your sense of well being will be huge!
Good luck.
"You'll know where the North Star is &#11088;&#65039;" - Oolala

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 337
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:25 pm

Part of the beauty of NoS and these boards in particular is that we come from so many different places, experiences, and backgrounds. How we approach and use NoS may or may not apply to the next person. All we can offer here are suggestions for what has worked for our particular situation in the hope that it may help the other person. In the spirit of offering suggestions or help, we should be careful not to denigrate someone else's experience or advice, just because it differs from our own.
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

Lilybug
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:46 am

Post by Lilybug » Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:43 pm

I appreciate each story of your own experiences and your thoughts on it all. Thanks everyone.

User avatar
lpearlmom
Posts: 4812
Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:59 am
Location: Arizona

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:23 pm

Different is fine. Many people have different mods but still keep within the spirit of NoS. What makes NoS different is that it's about moderation and sanity. Many of us come here to get away from traditional dieting and fat shaming. I'd ask that you please be respectful of that.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

Jen1974
Posts: 648
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:49 pm
Location: Colorado

Post by Jen1974 » Tue Jun 13, 2017 2:40 pm

I recently have been reading a lot on intuitive eating. One book I came across talked about the difference between naturally thin vs will power thin. I think you can use No S to become either. For me My goal has always been to become naturally thin & proud of the example I am setting for my daughter. I feel that for others they use No S to become will power thin. I know for me I used to feel shamed by the will power thin people until I read about them & realized that wasn't what I wanted. I don't mean to sound like I'm putting down the will power thin, I happy that works for them, it just doesn't make me happy.

I've been doing a mix of No S with Intuitive Eating (so basically butchering them both LOL) and am the happiest I've been. I can tell from pictures that I am the perfect weight for me. No S is a such a great foundation!! I love to see the different ways people use the principles to make it work for them.

Lilybug
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:46 am

Post by Lilybug » Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:26 pm

That is where I would love to be as well!

I feel on edge when people talk about their diets at work now. I just smile and nod and try to change the subject as soon as I can.

I have always thought I'd like to be like my ex sil. She was overweight at one point, then she lost it. She never dieted. We'd be having lasagna for dinner and she would have a reasonable piece with garlic bread slice and a salad with regular dressing. She ate moderately. This is my goal.

I've wasted enough of my life thinking about my diet (of course I suppose I still am !) but now I really want to turn the key to making it happen naturally and without beating myself up all the time.

ironchef
Posts: 1630
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:12 am
Location: Australia

Post by ironchef » Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:04 am

When it comes to overeating on special S days, like birthdays, or holidays, it can be really easy to feel overwhelmed and derailed. The important thing to remember is that one day, however wild, will not change your body fat. When these days happen, it is my response, my feelings of "what's the point / I'm out of control" that actually causes the real damage, and changes a big birthday and anniversary celebration into a 3 week eatathon that actually does derail my efforts.

I highly recommend Reinhard's podcast 15 on this topic (although it talks about the holiday season I feel it also applies to other things for me). If you haven't listened before, I love the podcasts.

I would recommend that rather than holding on to your feelings about seeing yourself, try to experience and remember your physical feelings during and after overdoing it. Maybe even write things down. For example, after a wild S day I often feel deeply uncomfortable in the stomach and sometimes the back (weird) and also get headaches later in the afternoon and evening, which I think might be related to high sugar intake. Eating desserts without any savouries can also induce a slightly nauseated feeling in the back of my throat. Also take note of good feelings on successful days: for me this includes a calm, pain-free stomach and head, and pleasant sensations of satisfaction and fullness after a balanced savoury meal with a serve of dessert. Remembering this clearly helps me when I am next making a decision about what to have for a special occasion - after all, don't I want to feel great on my own birthday?

For me, holding on to feelings about how I look and then depriving myself until I look "better" is a negative experience. Remembering how my body physically feels after overeating, and taking steps to avoid those sick / painful feelings feels like I am caring for my body and myself.

Good luck Lilybug!

Lilybug
Posts: 113
Joined: Sat May 13, 2017 11:46 am

Post by Lilybug » Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:47 am

ironchef wrote:
For me, holding on to feelings about how I look and then depriving myself until I look "better" is a negative experience. Remembering how my body physically feels after overeating, and taking steps to avoid those sick / painful feelings feels like I am caring for my body and myself.
What a really great insight. Thank you. This makes sense to me.

Skycat
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 4:52 am
Location: Germany

Post by Skycat » Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:49 am

I have certainly found that I've been weighing myself less since I've been (back) on No S. My feeling is that this is the moderation I need, this feels like the right way to approach eating, like a normal person without the counting or special foods.

So I figure I can't change the number on the scale, I can only change my actions. I believe that following No S is the right action to take. What I do is important, not the number on the scale.

In short, I don't think you have to DO anything. Just carry on the way you are, you're already taking positive action. Also, I bet your ex Sil also had days when she had more food because of a celebration, but she probably just went right back to eating moderately again. You can do that too.
I CAN do this.

noni
Posts: 613
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:01 pm

Post by noni » Thu Jun 15, 2017 1:10 pm

There are 2 things I do that Lifeisablessing does: weigh myself daily (my ex-wrestler husband has told me this for years when I would complain about my weight creep, but I wouldn't listen); add mods that fit No S, so it becomes my own No S.

There are 2 things I wouldn't do the same: eat as much as she does, nor go into a clothing store dressing room. The last time I did that was 15 years ago. I spent 2 hours looking for a bathing suit and walked out with nothing but low self-esteem.

I do things on No S that most others wouldn't do as well; I use a plate that is dessert size, even with most weekend meals, and I normally don't eat breakfast on N-days. I've also done 2 days of 24 hour fasts for about 2 years, but got tired of it.

We are all different, so different things work for us. I wouldn't weigh myself twice a day like Life, just once is good enough for me. When I needed to lose 20-30 lbs, once a week weigh-in was enough because it made a difference. Now, as I close in on a normal weight, once a week isn't enough for me because of the fluctuations all week. Understanding those fluctuations keeps me from getting discouraged.

Be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, as some suggestions can help someone, if not most of us. It sounds like Life has not had any serious weight problems, as well as Kaalii. We can learn from people like these, and weren't we taught to do that in Intuitive Eating?

As far as body shaming? I don't like my fat rolls either...lol

To stay true with this "pivotal" post, my turning point was the acid reflux and the bump-butt, and not sure which one was worse. In close quarters, I would often get butt-swiped. I guess the flowing dresses didn't help. But the worst part was the profuse apologies. Just hit and run, please.
"Never go back for seconds. Get it all the first time." - Garfield

User avatar
Merry
Posts: 1658
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Post by Merry » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:10 am

Lilybug wrote:
ironchef wrote:
For me, holding on to feelings about how I look and then depriving myself until I look "better" is a negative experience. Remembering how my body physically feels after overeating, and taking steps to avoid those sick / painful feelings feels like I am caring for my body and myself.
What a really great insight. Thank you. This makes sense to me.
I agree, this was a great way to put this!
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

User avatar
Merry
Posts: 1658
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 am

Re: Starting to freak out

Post by Merry » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:32 am

Lilybug wrote:I saw a video of me on fb (thanks sis) and I looked huge! I ate soooo much on my s day birthday (and I have really been eating a lot period, even though I have managed to get quite a few green days.

I feel crappy today. What are your suggestions at this point? Is this the feeling that makes you inherently start eating less? I do feel like eating light today, but who knows how I'll feel later?

I really do want to make this work.

Anther thing, I haven't weighed this whole time. I'm afraid it will send me running back to weight watchers although I shudder at the thought.

Do I just think to myself, "time to pump up the fruits and veggies and cut back on the crap"?

Who here has been where I am and successfully made it work? It seems like this could be a pivotal moment.
For me, the pivotal point was a combination of things. I was tired of off-and-on yo-yo dieting. I had some physical aches & pains that I felt were because of extra weight--or at least that extra weight contributed to them. I have a hubby who is disabled and I want to be healthy as long as possible to take care of him--and I felt that meant getting serious about getting out of the obese category (first goal) and also out of the overweight category (second goal). I wanted to have more energy and actually feel like doing basic exercise (too sedentary). I hoped eventually to adopt more healthy eating patterns but I didn't start there (When I decided to do No-S, I realized that one of the healthiest things I could do was to stop eating sweets daily and to stop overeating).

I never realized how badly I felt when I was stuffed until AFTER I'd been on No-S for awhile! So, it wasn't so much a motivator to start, but one to keep going!

One thing I love about No-S is that maintenance is the same as the plan, and it's long-term sustainable. That encourages me--I really can see keeping this up (and have for a year and a half now). It's doable.

I do want to be "thin," but I've also realized that I'm not willing to do what it takes to look like a model--I'm not going to work out and have really defined abs, and even at the times in my life when I was at a healthier weight, I never had a flat stomach. So, while I want to be able to fit into some smaller clothes and think that I will look better then, that's not the goal I try to keep looking towards.

I always felt that "gluttony" was difficult to define--what's the "line" between "enough" and "too much" when it comes to eating? I wanted self-control and I wanted to honor God through even this habit (instead of pigging out so much, being thankful for what he provides), but always felt that self-control was elusive. But No-S gives me a framework for that. I remember some parties early on that were on N days, and the first time I said "no thank you" to fresh homemade brownies. I remember enjoying the smell and thinking that I'm always so focused on the taste that I hadn't fully enjoyed the smell before. And I remember being surprised at how good it felt to be able to say no. I didn't feel deprived or that I was missing out--I felt empowered. I like that I can make a decision ahead of time and most of the time follow it.

I love that S days are celebrations, are encouraged, are meant to be enjoyed--again, to be thankful for them instead of feeling guilty about eating treats.

So... it's some health reasons that initially drove me to No-S coupled with some thoughts about appearance, but it's the shift in paradigm and aligning my eating habits more closely to my outlook on life. For me, it's been an answer to prayer.
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 337
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Fri Jun 16, 2017 11:18 am

Beautiful and inspirational reflections, Merry! :)
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

bhensley
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 1:25 pm

Post by bhensley » Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:59 pm

LifeisaBlessing - I typically do not post here but read this site almost daily. I wanted to encourage you as your insights more than any other on this site have helped me to lose a good amount of weight. I sincerely appreciate your honesty in what has worked for you! Why are you suddenly wrong in saying that you weigh twice a day if that is what you do! It has obviously worked!

Everyone has their own way of doing things. Differing opinions should be welcomed and not respectfully chastised. Thanks again for helping me with daily weighing and your 3 plate eat anything mod. This process has helped me to make minor adjustments and has kept me away from Diet Head. It is the only thing that has ever worked for me and I personally think it is brilliant!

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 337
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:28 pm

bhensley - Thank you so much for your supportive and kind words! :) I am so thrilled and happy that you've found my experiences and advice helpful to you in your weight loss journey.

I appreciate your comments, and wish you continued success! :)
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

Apprentice1981
Posts: 56
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:48 pm
Location: California

Post by Apprentice1981 » Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:36 am

bhensley, I am in agreement with you! Life's mod and sound advice(specifically eating anything I want in my three meals and being aware of calories )has helped tremendously with my "diet head". I have been steadily losing fat, while applying Life's insightful nuggets of wisdom. Her advice on protein has worked wonders for satiety. I haven't had WTH moment in about two months. That's huge for me! Forever grateful to Life!

LifeisaBlessing
Posts: 337
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:08 pm

Post by LifeisaBlessing » Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:01 pm

Apprentice1981 - Thank you for your support! :) It's always wonderful to hear that I've helped others in some way through my suggestions. Congratulations on your fat loss! :)

And a late thank you to noni for her kind comments upthread. :)
I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
~Jimmy Dean

The second you overcomplicate it is the second it becomes the thing for which it is a corrective.
~El Fug, on the NoS Diet

MaggieMae
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 9:53 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by MaggieMae » Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:39 pm

I've never heard the term" butt bump" before!!. &#128514;&#55357; . Thankfully I usually hit doorframes and he corners of furniture.
I

MaggieMae
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 9:53 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by MaggieMae » Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:42 pm

I've never heard the term" butt bump" before!!. &#128514;&#55357; . Thankfully I usually hit doorframes and he corners of furniture.
I

MaggieMae
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun Nov 01, 2015 9:53 pm
Location: Ohio, USA

Post by MaggieMae » Sun Jun 18, 2017 7:30 pm

://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailystar.co.u ... ks-pew/amp

Speaking of pivotal point, I saw this article and thought of this thread!

oolala53
Posts: 10059
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:35 pm

I went to the link and saw very little on fitness.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

Post Reply