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Merry's Monthly Check-in
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
That IS a feat, in my book.


a feat of the feet, LOL!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sooo looking forward to S days this weekend! I don't know why some weeks are harder than others, but a couple of times this week I could have really gone for some treat or sweet.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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idontknow



Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 758
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:
Sooo looking forward to S days this weekend! I don't know why some weeks are harder than others, but a couple of times this week I could have really gone for some treat or sweet.


Me too! The only way I have stopped myself from reaching for the chocolate is by saying you can have some on Saturday. And by Saturday it will be truly earnt and all the more delicious Very Happy
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope you made it to your S days, or if you didn't, that you got through without much drama.

I'm having a no S holiday, though I may virtual plate at an MLK celebration I'm going to later. What about you?
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
Hope you made it to your S days, or if you didn't, that you got through without much drama.

I'm having a no S holiday, though I may virtual plate at an MLK celebration I'm going to later. What about you?


I did, thanks! Though Sunday I really ate a lot (and while I usually don't like being uncomfortably full, I did on Sunday. It was very strange!)

Back to N day for me today. Hope you enjoyed your MLK celebration!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Random thoughts...

I did not have apple pie today.

I wish weight loss was more linear. also faster!

In two days, my "baby" turns 18!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, January was a gold month No-S wise, but I only exercised 9 days. I was sick for the first part of it, and somehow that always throws me off for a few weeks! I'm glad to be back into it though, and either walking or doing 14 minutes of either the elliptical or T-Tapp. My back definitely feels stronger when I do something regularly. Down 2 lbs. this month, and thankful for that.

Hope everyone has a great February!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 735
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

great for a golden january!
and for the 2lb down!
btw. when i was calorie counting i was also losing about 2lbs a month (i purposefully made it slower to make sure to be able to maintain after but also didnt always comply perfectly)... wish i knew about noS then, it would be much more pleasurable and saner way to reach my goal and probably at the same pace, if not even faster...
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BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
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in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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nettee



Joined: 22 Nov 2015
Posts: 336
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2017 10:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done Merry - what a good month. Glad you are feeling better
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Smile
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Amy3010



Joined: 05 Apr 2012
Posts: 977
Location: Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2017 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry you were sick and had to miss so much of your exercise - I know what you mean about feeling achy when you've had to miss it. But well done on a golden month! Very Happy
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My son said the groundhog was a punk today for seeing it's shadow. So then we started calling it Punxsutawney Punk!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:
My son said the groundhog was a punk today for seeing it's shadow. So then we started calling it Punxsutawney Punk!


Lol love groundhogs day for some reason. 😄
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda, I think it might be because you secretly revel in living where by Punxatawney, PA standards, winter is over right now whether Phil sees his shadow or not! (BTW, they've determined his accuracy and it's worse than flipping a coin. But how we love lore.)
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
Linda, I think it might be because you secretly revel in living where by Punxatawney, PA standards, winter is over right now whether Phil sees his shadow or not! (BTW, they've determined his accuracy and it's worse than flipping a coin. But how we love lore.)


LOL!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looking forward to Super Bowl Sunday! Not because I care who wins...just because we eat nachos and guacamole Smile.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 5:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're on to me oolala!

Mmmmm... Nachos!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2017 11:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry, how was the chip and dip? I'm looking forward to a potluck toniight because there'll be African stew and the awesome chocolate mousse layer cake I'm bringing. Oh, and there'll be some humans, too.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Dandelion



Joined: 15 Sep 2009
Posts: 643

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just for the record, my chickens are at odds with the groundhog. Right after GHD, they kicked into gear and started laying eggs again. Smile
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
Merry, how was the chip and dip? I'm looking forward to a potluck toniight because there'll be African stew and the awesome chocolate mousse layer cake I'm bringing. Oh, and there'll be some humans, too.


Oooh, they were so good, and I had leftovers the next day!

chocolate mousse layer cake sounds pretty amazing!
_________________
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dandelion wrote:
Just for the record, my chickens are at odds with the groundhog. Right after GHD, they kicked into gear and started laying eggs again. Smile


Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have any of you seen that ad for the simply fit board? I always laugh because Laurie Greiner says she likes to stay toned and fit but doesn't like to sweat. Um, hello? The two DO go together!

I've been getting into using my elliptical while I watch TV for 20 minutes each evening, and it cracks me up if that commercial comes on!
_________________
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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heliz



Joined: 06 Feb 2017
Posts: 32
Location: Northern CA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I haven't seen it, but that's hilarious. Laughing
If you're not sweating... you might just be doing it wrong.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

February has come to a close! Silver month for me--two NWS days and one red day. 18 workout days, so that's pretty good, especially for a shorter month. (workout days are either a walk or extra labor, a 14 minute T-Tapp video, or 20 minutes on the elliptical). Down another pound. I wasn't sure if I might just break even with the Superbowl, Valentine's day & then my son's birthday--a little heavier food month! So, I'll take a pound. 3 more pounds and I "officially" shift from obese to overweight according to the BMI calculators, and I'm excited about that. Sometimes it seems like a long journey from over a year ago, and sometimes I wonder if I could have done it more quickly--but then I remember that I'm enjoying the journey, that I relish S days each week and I treasure eating "normal" foods (I ate out with my son today and yet stayed on plan.) And I'm enjoying mostly sane eating habits and not "going crazy" on a daily basis. I think I'll always have to eat mindfully, but eating mindfully no-s-fully doesn't seem like a huge burden. I used to believe I could diet, lose weight, and then eat however and maintain. Now I realize that can't ever work--but that's okay. This is good.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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noni



Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 578

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good job, Merry!

Yes, we could lose weight quicker, and most of us have, but then... *boiiiing*...and it's back again.
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Elizabeth50



Joined: 08 Feb 2016
Posts: 178

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations Merry! You're doing so great to soon be out of the obese stage. I am happy for you!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's the next best thing to having it happen without having thought about it at all.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awesome Merry! I love your observations too. You're an inspiration for sure.

And yes you could have lost it faster but it most likely would have backfired and come all back plus some.

Keep up the great work!
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1451
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great work Merry!

And as well as the weight milestones, that's a great number of workout days for a 28 day month!
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
Posts: 273
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Losing a pound this time a year is a HUGE victory!! This is the time of year days are short, it's still cold & so many people put on weight (: Way to go!!!
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nettee



Joined: 22 Nov 2015
Posts: 336
Location: UK

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 6:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done Merry, you are inspirational in your consistency, determination and philosophy
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TexArk



Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 681
Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 3:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You asked how to find your old posts. Go to the search at the top of the page and then put your name "merry" in the author spot. Search all posts. Then you should see whatever you named your checkins in the past and click on there to find the thread. Unless you used a different name???
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TexArk wrote:
You asked how to find your old posts. Go to the search at the top of the page and then put your name "merry" in the author spot. Search all posts. Then you should see whatever you named your checkins in the past and click on there to find the thread. Unless you used a different name???


Thanks! Not sure why I never noticed the search feature at the top before!

I could never remember why I stopped No-S back in 2008. I didn't keep a check-in thread back then, just posted on the discussions. As far as I can tell, I even lost 2 lbs. at first--not sure if I just gained it back though. Looks like I had 3 red days early on in November that year and then left after that (maybe I just couldn't figure out how to make it work--I do remember that mentally I always struggled with social situations), or maybe Thanksgiving threw me off and I just didn't get restarted.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oy, S day gone wild for me today. Apple turnover for breakfast, a cupcake and cookie at church, hamburger for lunch, several handfuls of peanut m&m's, a vanilla cappuccino, egg casserole for dinner and another turnover for dessert. It's been awhile since I had that much sugar in a day!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Elizabeth50



Joined: 08 Feb 2016
Posts: 178

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry, It sounds like maybe you were possibly having some hormonal sugar cravings. Those can sure make sweets hard to pass up!

I've seen your March Challenge calendar and you're doing great otherwise, so I'm sure it's all balancing out. Smile
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Final No S Restart on 2/27/17
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elizabeth50 wrote:
Merry, It sounds like maybe you were possibly having some hormonal sugar cravings. Those can sure make sweets hard to pass up!

I've seen your March Challenge calendar and you're doing great otherwise, so I'm sure it's all balancing out. Smile


Yeah, hormonal or otherwise emotional...been a rough month here. I hope things stay balanced out this month, but we'll see.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 367
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry I just read on the One Year challenge thread that you have suffered bereavement recently and I wanted to offer my condolences 💐
Staying strong with your eating can be extremely tough when life throws hard times at you, so go easy on yourself and just do what you can manage. My thouhgts are with you and your family.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bluebell wrote:
Merry I just read on the One Year challenge thread that you have suffered bereavement recently and I wanted to offer my condolences 💐
Staying strong with your eating can be extremely tough when life throws hard times at you, so go easy on yourself and just do what you can manage. My thouhgts are with you and your family.


Thank you.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, not a very good month for me! Emotional with a couple of funerals and a weird cycle and some other stressers, and ended with 5 days with family, and I'm up about 2.5 lbs.! I've worked off the water-weight (because I was up more), so I think what's left is a "real" gain. I'm not too surprised though. I really loaded my plates full a lot of days and had crazy red days on our vacation too. I also realized that I'm getting 300-400 calories a day just from what I'm putting in my coffee (multiple cups, but still!)

I think (hope!) things have calmed back down here...so, time to dig in and get back on track. Focusing on more right-sized plates this month rather than over-full, and I'm making the switch to cream only in my coffee on N days. A year ago in the winter and spring I was on a no-coffee kick, and I lost faster than I did since about summer when I started drinking coffee again. That makes me think those liquid calories are adding up. If you had told me I could like coffee with no sugar and only cream a year ago, I'd have thought no way! But for now, I actually am liking it. I find if I take a sip black first and then with cream, it seems pretty good. Sometimes I just want something warm and just drink hot water too. My coffee is always decaf, so no caffeine withdrawl to worry about. I'm sure I don't need that much coffee though!

Only 9 workout days too, and I'd like to bump that up a bit again.

Sooo...we'll see how this month goes. I'm looking forward to warmer weather and more sunshine!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
Posts: 169
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry, I'm sorry for your loss.

Sounds like you did very well considering and you have a good plan of attack going forward.
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noni



Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 578

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry, Also sorry about your loss. We had a funeral for a family member, as well, last week. The generation of family before us has started passing on, with natural deaths, about 10 years ago. Pretty big family on both sides. Just a few left of the closest relatives. It's sad to see, but I enjoy the memories of them.

You had 5 days with family, and you only gained 2.5 lbs? I consider that a success. I could do more than that over a weekend.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 4:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

noni wrote:

You had 5 days with family, and you only gained 2.5 lbs? I consider that a success. I could do more than that over a weekend.


Actually I gained 6 lbs altogether but 3.5 was just water weight that came off in the following week. I can put on 5 lbs. without blinking when I'm on vacation! But a lot ends up being water retention. This time, though, I had already gained a lb. or two before we went away, so I'm not surprised about the net gain for the month. Not happy but at least I know it makes sense and hopefully I can turn that around again.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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3squaremeals



Joined: 23 Oct 2016
Posts: 117
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2017 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry for your loss Merry. You did well not gaining a lot, I'm like you and tend to gain alot from fluid retention easily and it usually only takes a couple of days to get rid of it.
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Merry



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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2017 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

April was a "gold" month here--two NWS days, no reds, and 15 workout/walking days. So, that's a decent month. I'm down 2 pounds (so, only half a pound to go to be where I was after February.) Onward, right?! My dd is finishing up her last week of homeschooling, and my son is getting to his college finals...summer is almost upon us! A friend of mine is doing a garage sale this week, and I've got some items to put in, so I've been busy pricing things...mostly books! Hoping to make a bit of cash. We'll see!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Larkspur



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PostPosted: Wed May 03, 2017 5:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like a great month, Merry! Gratz!
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Merry



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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2017 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks! Good yard sale today but now my right arm is sunburnt! The wind was blowing and I didn't realize I was getting so much sun until later (too bad I didn't switch and give the other arm equal opportunity, LOL!) My kids think that's pretty funny! Had a yummy lunch with my friends, but avoided the chocolate they brought (or rather, used the "save" method--I have 3 Lindor Truffles from them and a small bag of peanut M&M's from hubby in my candy-stash drawer now, awaiting an S day). But I really want to try a new ww gingerbread man cookie recipe I found this week, so I'll spread the candy out a bit. (It's nice to have a stash for those S days when there really isn't something in the house or something I want to make, too.)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Silk001



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PostPosted: Fri May 05, 2017 11:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on a great month and seeing the scale going down!
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Silk001

Age 42
Mom to 3 kids -- ages 12, 10, 4
BMI 24.9
Current weight 164
Started No S on 5.1.17
Would like to lose 10-15 pounds
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Merry



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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Checking in a couple of days early here--down 1.5 lbs to a new low since starting No-S, and feeling like I'm back on track. Ended up with 16 workout days. This has been a busy month with my dd graduating, and next month will also be busy (doing her party, mom visiting for 2 weeks, dd starts a college class, ds is looking for a summer job, my work is celebrating a 10 year anniversary--lots of coming and going here it seems!). The holiday was nice today--I finally got some yard work done. Shocked The weeds were taking over!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala


Last edited by Merry on Thu Jun 01, 2017 5:06 am; edited 1 time in total
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Allisonmeg



Joined: 02 Jan 2015
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Location: Oak Ridge, North Carolina

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yayyyy Merry....Congrats on your new low!!! My dd also graduated; time to get ready for college!
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Whosonfirst



Joined: 16 Nov 2006
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Location: Pennsylvania-U.S.A.

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice going on your continued success.
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Merry



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PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Allisonmeg wrote:
Yayyyy Merry....Congrats on your new low!!! My dd also graduated; time to get ready for college!


How fun, Allison! Does your dd know what she'd like to do? My dd wants to go into nursing, so we've had lots of running around for that (fingerprints, 2-step TB tests, shopping for scrubs & shoes & books...)

My ds is already in school but still trying to decide what he might like to do (I'm encouraging him to try to decide this summer if he can, but otherwise he might take a gap year after he finishes his associate's.)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Anna from KC



Joined: 10 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, Merry, on all of your successes.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2017 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Merry! I have to say that you're an inspiration to me. You're steady, patient and consistent. I tend to be more like a roller coaster ride. All over the place.

I was wondering if you'd mind sharing what your S days are like and if you have a plan for them or if they've just naturally worked themselves out? This continues to be a source of frustration for me.

Thank you!

Linda
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Merry



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Congrats Merry! I have to say that you're an inspiration to me. You're steady, patient and consistent. I tend to be more like a roller coaster ride. All over the place.

I was wondering if you'd mind sharing what your S days are like and if you have a plan for them or if they've just naturally worked themselves out? This continues to be a source of frustration for me.

Thank you!

Linda


Well, my S days can vary quite a lot! Last Friday, as best I recall (I do S days on Fridays and Sundays), I went out for a Carmel Mocha from McDonald's and forgot to eat breakfast. Then I went to a friend's house and we had Wendy's Strawberry Mango Chicken Salads (half size) and chocolate. Sometimes at her house, I eat a lot of chocolate...this time I think I had about 6 squares of a large candy bar. Came home, had pizza for dinner (Digorno, one piece of sausage with stuffed crust, one pepperoni with regular crust). A couple of chocolate chip cookies, and a small york peppermint patty.

Sundays typically start with eating at church. Sometimes people bring donuts, or sometimes they make egg casseroles and sweet breads, crackers & cheese, fruit etc... Nothing too wild, I usually get something before and something after on a small dessert plate, and a couple of cups of coffee with sweetened creamer. I don't remember all I ate on Sunday--I really had the munchies (was jonesing as they say!). I know I had pretzels and cream cheese, probably a bowl of cereal...not sure about dinner or if cereal was dinner...then dd wanted chocolate & I sent her out for some peanut butter M&M's and I think I ate most of the bag (the larger bags). I just kept eating junk last Sunday, looking for something to taste good! (last week Wednesday I went to a party and kept eating chocolate chip cookies, even though they tasted too sweet to me, because I kept thinking I usually enjoy them more and so maybe I'd enjoy the next one. It was a bizarre thought process!)

That's how I used to eat fairly regularly though--I'd just keep trying things to see if anything "tasted good," even though I wasn't really hungry. Now I tend to notice that I'm not hungry but I don't always stop myself. I think I should come up with some kind of script for that though. Lately I've been toying with making S days mainly about planned events (or spontaneous if it's with people, but no just rooting around in the cupboards hoping something is there that I don't remember buying). Many times that's how I do NWS days. I'm starting to think...I don't eat this way on N days, why do I on S days? I'm trying to think how to frame it so that it will be helpful for me and not so constraining that I just rebel.

One of my desires all along has been for self control--I have prayed about that a lot off and on over the years, and it's been so encouraging realizing that No-S has helped me develop some self-control muscles. Those S days are still release valves for me at this point, and I don't want to lose what I've gained. I might experiment with making one day with some guidelines each week and see what that's like.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for sharing Merry! It's helpful to see that we have similar S days. I had imagined that your S days were as calm as your N days somehow. I like that you're able to be objective about them and don't seem to beat yourself up. And you're still steadily losing weight so it all seems to be working for you.

Thanks again for sharing!

Linda
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Merry



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2017 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Thanks for sharing Merry! It's helpful to see that we have similar S days. I had imagined that your S days were as calm as your N days somehow.


Well, not yet anyway! Though they aren't as crazy as the first two months. I really do think it's the S days that made it possible for me to stick with the N days without giving up, so...they are what they are. As I become ready mentally, I hope to continue to change them. But you're right, I don't beat myself up over them because I'm looking at the big picture--overall, I'm a lot more self-controlled than I used to be and making progress--so, that's a really good thing. It's okay to not be perfect Smile.

Today was a NWS day (party) but it felt so normal with regard to food--regular meals and I had a cupcake with dinner. So peaceful! I like that. I'd like that to be normal more often.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 4:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today (Thursday) was the first time the scale dropped to the next lower set of tens! (179.6). There's always something so fun about doing that (yeah, it's the little things, LOL!) I know it will take a bit of time before that's a Monday-Tuesday weight, but it was so exciting to see! (When I'm solidly at this weight or below, I will, according to the BMI scales, have moved from the "obese" category to the "overweight" category. I'm really looking forward to that milestone!)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Amy3010



Joined: 05 Apr 2012
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2017 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, Merry! It's a thrill to hit those important milestones - good for you!
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Merry



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2017 6:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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pinkhippie



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on your scale milestone! I always find those so exciting too Smile
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Elyssa



Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Posts: 50
Location: Eastern USA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Merry - So, now you're in the 170s, new milestone - YAY!!!!
We seem to be at similar points. I started at 180+ and now I'm back in the 170s, VERY gratefully so. May God bless you with that perhaps slow but steady & permanent decline in excess weight until you get to "your" weight range! Wink
Cheers, Elyssa
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Trust in the wisdom of structure.
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Merry



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elyssa wrote:
Laughing Merry - So, now you're in the 170s, new milestone - YAY!!!!
We seem to be at similar points. I started at 180+ and now I'm back in the 170s, VERY gratefully so. May God bless you with that perhaps slow but steady & permanent decline in excess weight until you get to "your" weight range! Wink
Cheers, Elyssa


Thanks!

Well, I've hit the 170's several days but I'm not yet solidly there. I'm hoping by the end of the month I might be there on a Monday or Tuesday, but an event between now and then might stall that progress a bit longer. Still, it's so encouraging to see it on the horizon and keep aiming for it.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Whosonfirst



Joined: 16 Nov 2006
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Location: Pennsylvania-U.S.A.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on a new milestone Merry, You've got the habits down pretty well, so progress will resume as well. I enjoy reading your observations. Before NoS I used to get impatient with plateau's but now it's expected every so often. I only need to look at my past couple months' Habitcal's to see how I'm doing.
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bd88



Joined: 12 Jun 2017
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've just read this entire thread and am so inspired by you, Merry! I am truly in awe of your mindset - your kindness to yourself and your patience with the process are what I really hope to achieve at some point. The weight loss is an amazing bonus, but I am really drawn to your general attitude and energy.
I was always told that once women reach their 50s, this sort of thinking takes over, but at 29, I feel as though I am nowhere even remotely close to this and I have yet to come across any 50+ women in my family or friend circle who have proven that saying to be true. An unhealthy body image and relationship with food is definitely a generational struggle for the women on both sides of my family, so maybe I need to just be a bit more patient with trying to get there. I know I also need to really start celebrating small wins/changes in my body image and self-esteem. Reading your posts and knowing that there are women who embody that saying even as they are still looking to make improvements is very motivating for me.
Thank you so much.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whosonfirst wrote:
Congratulations on a new milestone Merry, You've got the habits down pretty well, so progress will resume as well. I enjoy reading your observations. Before NoS I used to get impatient with plateau's but now it's expected every so often. I only need to look at my past couple months' Habitcal's to see how I'm doing.


Yes, I'm finding the plateaus quite interesting. A couple of weeks ago I looked in the mirror, and things looked different--like the body has been busy rearranging where some of the fat cells go or something! Our bodies are truly a marvel of God's creation with how they work.

Habitcal keeps me going so often! I like to look back too.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bd88 wrote:
I've just read this entire thread and am so inspired by you, Merry! I am truly in awe of your mindset - your kindness to yourself and your patience with the process are what I really hope to achieve at some point. The weight loss is an amazing bonus, but I am really drawn to your general attitude and energy.
I was always told that once women reach their 50s, this sort of thinking takes over, but at 29, I feel as though I am nowhere even remotely close to this and I have yet to come across any 50+ women in my family or friend circle who have proven that saying to be true. An unhealthy body image and relationship with food is definitely a generational struggle for the women on both sides of my family, so maybe I need to just be a bit more patient with trying to get there. I know I also need to really start celebrating small wins/changes in my body image and self-esteem. Reading your posts and knowing that there are women who embody that saying even as they are still looking to make improvements is very motivating for me.
Thank you so much.


Aw, thanks so much for posting! I'm glad my posts have encouraged you. I think a lot of it is that I see my identity first and foremost through Christ. When I think of the enormous value that God places on us (because Christ died for us)--it's overwhelming to think about that kind of love and care. It's hard to fathom--and yet an incredible joy to try to. The body is something we should take care of--it's a gift--but it's not the core of our identity, it's not who we are. Our culture places such a high value on physical appearance, but God doesn't--so I shouldn't either.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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bd88



Joined: 12 Jun 2017
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're so right about our bodies being a gift!
I have decided to take after you and stop weighing daily so that I can learn to be much more patient and disassociate my weight with how I feel about myself.
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Allisonmeg



Joined: 02 Jan 2015
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2017 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats on your milestone Merry! You're always an inspiration Very Happy
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

bd88 wrote:
You're so right about our bodies being a gift!
I have decided to take after you and stop weighing daily so that I can learn to be much more patient and disassociate my weight with how I feel about myself.


Something that has helped me along these lines--think about your "self-talk" when you glance in the mirror. Are you constantly judging yourself--or thinking something positive? I found that if I start having negative thoughts about what I see that it helps to turn those thoughts around into an opportunity to be thankful. So, if you start to dwell on a flabby body part, thank God for that part, that it's strong and can do the work you need done or can do the function it was designed for etc...
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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bd88



Joined: 12 Jun 2017
Posts: 50

PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:


Something that has helped me along these lines--think about your "self-talk" when you glance in the mirror. Are you constantly judging yourself--or thinking something positive? I found that if I start having negative thoughts about what I see that it helps to turn those thoughts around into an opportunity to be thankful. So, if you start to dwell on a flabby body part, thank God for that part, that it's strong and can do the work you need done or can do the function it was designed for etc...


Thank you so much for the tip!
My self-talk is generally negative, but I am going to try what you said. I am not religious, but I am still thankful for my body and need to focus on that.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

bd88 wrote:

Thank you so much for the tip!
My self-talk is generally negative, but I am going to try what you said. I am not religious, but I am still thankful for my body and need to focus on that.


I think our culture really builds up that negative self-talk in us (as I tell my kids, advertising is built on trying to make us dissatisfied with who we are and what we have so we'll buy more things or spend more money--the diet industry really capitalizes on this, and the clothing and makeup industries put unrealistic and unattainable images in print and on screen.) Once I started realizing how much of my self-talk was negative, I started countering it whenever I was aware! It's definitely a process/journey.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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bd88



Joined: 12 Jun 2017
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2017 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:
Once I started realizing how much of my self-talk was negative, I started countering it whenever I was aware! It's definitely a process/journey.


Such great advice! I will definitely try that from now on. Thanks so much again for your wisdom, Merry Mr. Green
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Merry



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, what a month! I feel like everything happened at once. My mom came to visit, we had my daughter's homeschool graduation (my "baby" is grown now!), my company had a huge 10th anniversary celebration (I work remotely and they had us all come with our families to stay in a lodge for several days--beautifully planned and I loved getting to meet staffers I'd never met before. I started with them 8 years ago and was only the third or fourth employee--contractor back then--and now they have more than 20 and just keep growing. Amazing!) My son got his first steady job, and it's so wonderful to see his confidence and responsibility grow--and then for the 4th my aunt and uncle from across the country came to visit for a couple of days. I still can't believe they drove all the way out here. My dad died when I was 8 and my uncle is his only sibling. It was so fun and sweet to reconnect. We sat in the park for a long time today and enjoyed the sounds of a waterfall and a gentle breeze.

Amid all the activity, I only had 9 workout/walking days (only 2 workout days), and ended up with 3 red days on top of the NWS days. So...yeah, wow! Ended up down 1.5 lbs. this month which is better than I thought I'd end up--very happy with that. Several times I've hit 179.8, which would put me at a BMI under 30, but haven't maintained that yet, but I'm only half a pound away!

July should be a little calmer, so I'm hoping to get in more regular exercise and maybe some things around the house (though I did tackle all the old dead growth from our climbing rose bush--that felt great to take care of that project and leave just the new growth. Love all the roses on the arbor!)

So many changes and emotional ups and downs this month...I'm looking forward to some time to process life a bit. But as for today I'm enjoying just waxing nostalgic after my aunt and uncle's visit.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Elyssa



Joined: 04 Jun 2017
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Location: Eastern USA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry! What you write is truly marvelous & inspiring in so many ways. I'm very sorry about the loss of your father when you were so young (but old enough, obviously, to grasp the loss at the time...). Very glad your uncle made such a long, symbolic trip for you. And recently, there have been many BIG milestones, it sounds like - with your daughter, son, and job!!! Congrats on the continued weight-dropping success, slow but steady WINS (!!!) the race. Our own race, haha! But you get my point.

I'm extremely grateful for your kindness and insights, both as to yourself and others such as myself. Wishing you a great rest of July!!! Smile
Many Blessings Wink from Elyssa
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Trust in the wisdom of structure.
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Merry



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your note, Elyssa! And...I love this in your signature: ""No S" has become the life-changing answer to my agonizing questions around food... "

Would love to read more of your thoughts on this, you should write about it in your check-in (or maybe I somehow missed it!)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Whosonfirst



Joined: 16 Nov 2006
Posts: 224
Location: Pennsylvania-U.S.A.

PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, lots of good things happening in your family. And your No S habit is doing well. Congrats on the graduation and first job for your son, that's a big deal. I laugh when friends seem to be prouder of their children finding employment than graduation from high school or college today. My generation took finding a job for granted.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks! It's "only" a part-time job at a grocery store, but this is the first year in our town there really have been a lot of jobs available--I know college students who have spent months and months just looking for a minimum wage job, not finding one. It's a good sign in such a depressed economy.
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay for teenagers with jobs! I'm so nervous about my kids having to be independent. I wish I could just protect them forever. Oh well, I must have faith!
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2017 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Yay for teenagers with jobs! I'm so nervous about my kids having to be independent. I wish I could just protect them forever. Oh well, I must have faith!


I think it's hard to imagine our kids when they are younger as being grown and on their own. They come into it step by step. Really an amazing process (in the moments when I'm not freaking out of course!)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2017 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've missed a lot! Glad it's good stuff. It's a real feat in my book that you lost anything amidst a graduation and family visiting and all.

It must be very challenging as a parent to know the right balance for deeply caring for children's welfare while realizing they're their own persons and acting in sync with that. I think I see just about the whole continuum on that as a teacher, though not the most egregiously dysfunctional ones, I hope. You never completely know what's going on at home.

Regarding negative thinking, I'm pretty sure in quite old Buddhist texts it's clear that it's rather common for humans to be rather critical and to register the negative in a situation. (If there's anyone who's watched the streams of thoughts, it's people sitting in meditation for hours. I"m here to tell you it is NOT always a relaxing activity.) We can be more self-critical here-the Dalai Lama was known to have said he has sometimes been surprised at the level of self-hatred some Westerners report-, but Rick Hanson, neuroscientist, says the brain is actually hard-wired for negativity. It's believed at one time to have helped ensure survival. Humans who were alert to danger lived to procreate. But now it's often related to the survival of our identities, which are only vaguely related to our physical survival in the Western world. (Even that used to be more important when the acceptance of the tribe actually could spell life or death.) Now we spend a lot of our time worried about our status.

People who aren't plagued by negativity are to some degree just lucky- they have a happier baseline than many peers, and aren't having to exert a lot of effort to see things positively-, and extreme cases can actually get themselves in trouble by being more carefree than works in the huge societies of today, as opposed to some loopeyness being accommodated by the other 149 people in the old tribal structures who would keep them afloat, probably because they can be fun to be around!

Okay, lecture over! Sorry if I bogarted the thread.

Everyone here is beautiful! I love you all! Let's do lunch! Wink
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Merry! It is fun to watch them grow up. I'm realizing that I'm really dealing with mini-adults here. Telling them "because I said so" just didn't fly anymore. They really crave a higher level of interaction than that now.

Oolala, that info really helped me actually. My oldest daughter is a pessimist and this is one of the things we fight over a lot. For instance, she's convinced that everyone at her new school next year is going to be an amazing artist (it's an art school) and she'll be a laughing stock. No amount of logic I use on her helps. It makes it worse actually but understanding how deeply ingrained and important it feels to her, may help me be a little more sympathetic. Thx!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm no one to talk, but I've started reading a book in prep for going back to school. It's meant for parents, called Stop Arguing with Your Kids. I can tell from just the beginning that it's emphasizing being able to listen a lot first before giving much direction. It dovetails with a talk I went to called Bridging the Divide. It was for people who want to engage with others who are on the opposite side in politics, religion, etc. Same thing, emphasizing listening first. It was even more radical in that there was no direction or opposing point of view promoted. He helps train people to learn to listen and then ask reflective questions in a very neutral way that gently dismantles some of the assumptions the person is making and tries to let them come to conclusions. The lecturer admitted it's extremely hard to do because our tendency is to "instruct." Mine is!

I would imagine there would be a way in drawing out your daughter's thoughts to bring up how a person might gather evidence to see if such predictions are right. It could be done in a curious way. Other times, you could sneak in discussions of situations in which people ignore important evidence that doesn't fit their bias.

The hard part for me will be practicing what I preach!
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you. I really, really need that book! 😊
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1451
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, what a full month, Merry! So many great milestones Smile

begin hijack: I haven't read the Stop Arguing one, but I did read another book by the same author, called "The Lost Art of Listening". Mostly because I am aware that I am often talking and not listening enough, and then I feel guilty afterwards. A very interesting and rewarding read. /hijack
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 8:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Thanks Merry! It is fun to watch them grow up. I'm realizing that I'm really dealing with mini-adults here. Telling them "because I said so" just didn't fly anymore. They really crave a higher level of interaction than that now.

Oolala, that info really helped me actually. My oldest daughter is a pessimist and this is one of the things we fight over a lot. For instance, she's convinced that everyone at her new school next year is going to be an amazing artist (it's an art school) and she'll be a laughing stock. No amount of logic I use on her helps. It makes it worse actually but understanding how deeply ingrained and important it feels to her, may help me be a little more sympathetic. Thx!


It's scary to go to a new place. Probably some other kids have fears too. Sometimes I found it helped to just listen and acknowledge what my kids were thinking/feeling. Not making a big deal of it, but not minimizing it either. Arguing or trying to convince them to think otherwise sometimes just makes teens dig in and hold to their view all the more (even if they stop really believing it, ironically!)
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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LifeisaBlessing



Joined: 02 Jun 2016
Posts: 285

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2017 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry, I'm way late to the party, but what a wonderful and inspiring update from your July 5th post! Smile That is a beautiful story about your uncle, and congratulations to your son for his job and your daughter for her graduation, and also to you with your company's 10th anniversary celebration! Lots of blessings! Smile
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1369

PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LifeisaBlessing wrote:
Merry, I'm way late to the party, but what a wonderful and inspiring update from your July 5th post! Smile That is a beautiful story about your uncle, and congratulations to your son for his job and your daughter for her graduation, and also to you with your company's 10th anniversary celebration! Lots of blessings! Smile


Thanks! Very Happy
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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pinkhippie



Joined: 17 Mar 2010
Posts: 89

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala, I really need that book too. I work on doing that with my teenage daughter and it is tough!

Merry, I know what you mean about "because I said so" not really flying anymore. They really are becoming their own people, and it is hard to let go.

Congratulations on your daughters graduation and your son's job! That is so exciting!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm going back to work on Monday and I need to stop arguing with everyone else's kids!
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3243
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Merry. That makes a lot of sense. When I'm upset I usually just want to heard too. I'm really going to work on being calm & centered.

Oolala: maybe we need to start a support group! 😀
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2017 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, we'll all get the book, and start a thread just for it, maybe here.
https://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewforum.php?f=9

But I wonder what "bright line" we could use to aspire to.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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