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Tortie's Check-In, 2017

 
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:17 pm    Post subject: Tortie's Check-In, 2017 Reply with quote

So I kind of lost the plot last week, not being very well.

Yesterday I was feeling a lot better, and the day ended up being an accidental No S day! Wow...how did that happen? Maybe this is the way out of disordered thinking and overeating for me after all.

Time to follow the advice of those before me and start a check-in thread.

Today is a special day; our seventh wedding anniversary. No sweets or snacks planned, but Mr. Tortie could turn up with something, so...
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yesterday ended up being a green day. I had a bit of wine with dinner, but no sweets or snack. It was a nice evening.

Had to miss my exercise routine this morning due to pain. I just ignored it yesterday and carried on with my routine, and did a bunch of extra stuff yesterday. Now I'm in quite a bit of pain and am stuck doing nothing...first day missed since November. Has me a bit down.
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RAWCOOKIE



Joined: 18 Jun 2015
Posts: 1277
Location: Cornwall, UK

PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm glad you were able to enjoy your Wedding Anniversary with the nice meal and wine.

Sorry to hear you are in pain. I think starting a daily check-in is really helpful - I hope it helps you too.

Take care Smile
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Rawcookie.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had an apple between breakfast and lunch. I was hungry and I'm missing fruit.

Fruit is kind of like a cup of tea..it just stands alone.

This might need to be my first mod. Fruit is getting wasted, because I don't like to eat fruit with my meals. I've been drinking tea with milk and sugar in the afternoons when I really want a banana. The banana, in my mind seems like the better option.

I think I may just have to do No Sweets and No Seconds.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Aug 02, 2017 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have been able to eat fruit with my breakfast and lunch, it really wasn't that hard. Making my lunch more rounded has curbed my urge to snack between lunch and dinner. I'm now content with a glass of water or soda water, or a cup of tea at that time of day.

Truthfully, my snacks between lunch and dinner were almost never fruit or yogurt..that was the fantasy. In reality, I pretty much always grabbed a handful of cookies.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sun Aug 13, 2017 3:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had my very first full week of green this week.

2 reasons for my success:

1. I looked in a full length mirror and realized this (60lb overweight body) is not because of an absence of strict dieting and obsessive exercising. It's because of unrestrained overeating and being sedentary. A simple plan of eating and an equally simple exercise routine is what's needed. And patience, lot of one day at a time patience. A willingness to allow this weight to come off slowly, while I allow personal growth.*

2. I stopped putting sugar in my tea - it was triggering cravings for sugar. A simple change, but it's made all the difference.

*After I got over the initial shock of how big I was. A number on the scale did not register in my brain the way that image in the mirror did.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't feel the need or call to snack over the weekend. On Saturday I had a spoonful of a dessert; I didn't find it enjoyable, so my husband ate the rest. Sunday evening I had one bite of a cookie and didn't think it tasted very nice at all, so my husband ate the rest of that too.

The scale says I'm down 4 lbs. I think it unlikely to have lost that much fat in a week...surely most of that's water. It's possible I've lost a pound or half a pound of fat *shrugs* I guess it shows I'm on the right track, and it was not just my perception, I really did not overeat.

I think I'll leave off the scale for a few months - it just messes with my head. I'm worried a loss on the scale will have me overeating or a minute gain will bring back diet head.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still green so far this week. I still find having my tea without sugar to be helpful.
I struggled a bit last evening after dinner. Mr. Tortie likes a bit of dessert - he's slim and can easily afford it. I had a few seconds of poor me, but that was it. I treated myself to a nice cold soda water and it was just nice to have something sort of special (but calorie-free) while I read. I also left the a/c as it was and put on a sweatshirt - this gave me that cozy hug feeling I get from sweets.

I play out in my head how disappointed I will feel after eating something not to my plan. A few seconds of pleasure will bring an evening of regret - that's not good value at all. I also remind myself that 5 years of: "oh just this once, you'll be back on track tomorrow. You've had a hard day, one little treat will be fine..." Is exactly how I ended up 60 lbs overweight. It has never been just one, and it has never been just this once.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dealing with a couple of down days, ( I have bipolar depression) and a lot of heavy sadness over the death of loved ones - my dad just last fall.

Had to remind myself at least 20 times in the past 36 hours that a binge will not make it feel better - in fact it will make it worse. Just allowed my self to feel the weight of grief and the tired and got as much work done as possible. Some planned projects will have to wait, as the energy is just not there.

So the week remains green. I have that, and the love of my husband and kitty to cling to through this low-grade storm of feelings.

I should also add that reminding myself that it's been an ineffective habit, not always compulsion to soothe unpleasant feelings or plow through exhaustion by eating crap. It's a little uncomfortable to change this habit, but just a little uncomfortable. And the reward of not feeling stuffed or disappointed in myself is immediate.

A rare temptation last night: My husband could not finish all the food on his dinner plate. My general rule is 1/4 of a 4 serving meal for me, 3/4 for him. For a brief moment I was about to say: oh give it here, I'll eat it - but that would be seconds - popped into my head... his leftovers went in the bin, not my belly.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still down, but remarkably, still green. I just kept saying to myself, there's nothing in the kitchen cupboards worth it (my husband's favourites only), and it wouldn't make me feel better anyway. At least I went to sleep last night, after some tossing and turning, knowing I had not let myself down.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another green week! I was so down yesterday, I thought for sure I'd cave, but instead I ended up skipping lunch. I was hungry but no appetite, so I had a glass of milk and moved on. I did not give into the temptation of takeaway and cooked a proper supper. I was worried I'd gorge at dinner, but I only had my usual 1/4 - 1/3 of what I put on my husband's heaped plate.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sun Aug 20, 2017 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not much excitement in the treat department this weekend Sad I ate one of Mr. Tortie's cookies yesterday, and it was awful. I tried to find something nice for myself at the grocery store today, but came away empty handed - nothing appealed.

I did have a coffee though, something I only allow myself a couple of times a year, but not something I would restrict to S days. The first couple of sips of that were nice, but gave the rest to my better half.

It's the weekend and I was really looking forward to biting into something delicious, but nothing ...

I'm not sure if this is my depression, normally I self medicate with sweets when I'm down. I'm disappointed that the weekend will be over and I've had nothing other than one crummy tasting cookie. Frustrating. I guess it's good I have not overeaten, or gone wild, but I would have liked the chance to cut loose a bit. I wasn't interested in a binge, but I just wanted one very nice dessert.

Feel silly being sort of sad about this, but I really am.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Mon Aug 21, 2017 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did find something to try as an S day special treat - it was gross and made me feel sick. I think I was just feeling lonely, and no sweet appealed because what I really craved was the occasion and the company that comes with special day food.

I think I need to remember the sometimes part of days that begin with 'S'. If I'm not feelin' it, just let it go. It's probably not a sweet or other treat that I'm looking for anyway.

Stupidly got on the scale this morning. I know I did not eat in a way that would cause weight gain or impede weight loss last week - so I was hoping for a bit of a loss to cheer myself up. Nope, a small gain instead. I will chalk that up to the weirdness of the body and keep on keepin' on. The cheering up should come from learning that I do not need to eat sweets on S days, if I'm not feeling it. It will not lead to me messing up my N days.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 2:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And now it's getting difficult. Yesterday was a technically a green day, but not one that would lead to losing weight.

I put sugar in my tea, and I heaped my plate at dinner. But all day long I fought the urge to bake cookies, and eat the lot. I was just feeling down and really wrestled with the thoughts of: maybe I'm just supposed to be fat or if eating sweets is the only thing that makes me happy... *shakes head* Total self sabotage BS. I do want to lose weight, this excess weight is really causing health problems for me. It isn't just about vanity, or approval from strangers.

It's also about addiction, for me, I know this isn't everyone's issue. But I really want to be free of the compulsive eating behaviour, to remember who I am without it. I need to get this monkey off my back in order to grow up.

I get it, I'm a depressive, and some days are harder than others. But overeating only feels good for the first bite, afterwards, I'm left in a puddle of disappointment and self-loathing.

I did have to lay down yesterday. I was sick to my stomach and dizzy - just hormonal, I think. But after a 30 minute lay down, I got up, and got stuck into my work. Everything was tackled a bit later than usual, and I still wanted to eat, but I just stuck to my meals and carried on. My crazy brain kept up with the self-defeating garbage, but I just said to myself: well, we'll talk about that tomorrow, but for today, let's stick to No S.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 435
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Aug 22, 2017 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tortie I was just reading through your check in and wanted to add some words of encouragement, I hope you don't mind! You have recently, this month, managed two green weeks in a row - fantastic achievement! Without wishing to sound patronising, it is really worth hanging onto the fact that it can be done, and that you are the one who can do it.
I remember Oolala commenting on my check in that setbacks are completely normal, and to be expected. I guess it is how we deal with them that makes the difference. I can't imagine how much harder it must be for you with bipolar depression, the very fact that you are keeping on trying is huge.
I am so grateful that NoS is so forgiving, I find 'mark it and move on' such a useful mantra and often have to do just that. In fact you don't even need to do that - sugar in tea is allowed, heaped plates are allowed and sometimes most definitely needed.
Hang on in there! You're doing so well Smile
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for the support, Bluebell Smile

Yesterday was a red day. I was still hungry 2 hours after dinner and had a few spoonfuls of sweetened yogurt - gave the rest of it to Mr. Tortie to finish. I should have had a glass of milk or cup tea instead. Back on track today.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2017 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must confess that yesterday I spend about 2 hours seriously considering giving slimming world another try. Why on earth...?! So, No S seems to be a bit more challenging the past 2 days, so let's switch to something even more difficult and proven to be unsustainable?. I think it's the old "I hate my body, I must lose all the weight by such and such.." Commercial diets really appeal to that crazy part of me. Such nonsense.

Glad to have returned my focus to the sanity of No S after only a couple of hours of delusion. But, I definitely need to stick to no sugar in my tea - it consistently sets off all sorts of sweet cravings for me.

My 3 biggest temptations are: Fat free plant based, Slimming World, or giving up and reading a lot of fat acceptance material.

I'm completely against fat shaming, I just know from experience that being this overweight is not a healthy state for me.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Green day yesterday Smile

In my early 30s, after years of maintaining a healthy weight, I gained 70lbs in six months due to medication. Once I stopped taking the med, the first 20 lbs fell of without any other changes. The rest of the weight, however...Well it was 3 months of strict calorie counting, and working out 6 days a week before even 1lb dropped. It took me almost 2 years to lose that weight. At one point I hit a plateau that lasted months and then dropped 16lbs in 2 months just carrying on with the same diet and exercise routine that I had all along. Now, at the age of 47, I have no doubt that changes will happen even more slowly.

What I'm saying is, that bodies are weird/wonderful, and I need to just stick to vanilla no s and exercise, and just have patience. Focus on how I feel less crazy about food...still crazy, but less crazy.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I need to keep my focus on accepting and loving myself for where I am now. I do know this, but only on a very superficial level. People will tell me this, or I'll read it and think : yeah makes sense - then go on listening to the committee inside my head.

Reading through a lot of posts today, and it's starting to sink in. I can see it being important for others to be kind to themselves at every stage of the journey, and it's starting to sink in a little deeper for me.

I stopped buying any new clothes - why bother? I don't like the way anything looks on me. I'll buy new clothes when I lose some weight. But I need clothes. I'm not a clothes horse, my selection of 'outdoor' clothing that I don't entirely hate is down to one pair of jeans and one tshirt. Jeez! I'm 47 years old, why do I fall back into ..I'm fat, therefore I should hate and deny myself. I don't feel this way about other overweight people.

Anyway, what I've learned, it's okay to put sugar in my tea, it does not lead to gorging on sweets, I've just been brainwashed somewhere down the line inot believing it does. No S does not restrict meals to diet food - in fact eating normal, wholesome food that I like, is encouraged. Stop eating the diet food, Tortie! It's making you miserable! Things are not going to come crumbling down if I have a wine glass of unsweetened grape juice with dinner.

I also ordered myself two tshirts today, and I may pick up a second pair of jeans on this weekend - the pair I have are going to fall apart from being washed so often. I should add that I only leave my home once a week, so I don't need very many clothes. I wear ratty old t-shirts and yoga pants around the house. Maybe with a few more clothes, I might go out more often. Although I think that's another struggle for another day.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I know I'm all over the shop with this sugar in tea thing, but again I'm changing my decision on this. Sugar really affects my sleep and mood- had sugar in my tea yesterday, fruit juice with lunch and seitan for dinner (from a Vietnamese vegetarian restaurant) - lots of protein, but I think lots of sugar in the sauces. This seems to be consistent that when I eat sugar foods, even just sugar in my tea, my sleep is terrible. I'm not a good sleeper at the best of times. The medication and religious sleep hygiene only grant me 4-6 hours most nights at best, but will often get only 3 hours or less on the sugar and too little protein days. Decaf black tea tastes like poo to me without sugar, but I'll either get used to it, like I have before, or switch to an herbal tea that doesn't need sweetening.

Anyway, I had a technically green day yesterday, no sweets or snacks. I was hungry in the middle of the night though. I had a glass of milk, but I was still very hungry - think this contributed to the insomnia. Next time this happens, I'll make myself half a peanut butter sandwich and call it a fourth meal...sleep is too important.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1454

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know, it's so easy to think we don't want to buy clothes if we aren't a certain size! I definitely think you should get at least a few clothing items you can really enjoy. I don't like clothes that don't fit properly, but I find that if I ignore the size numbers and purchase some things that fit correctly, they can still be figure-flattering. I end up feeling better about the size I am then!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.

28.5 lbs. down, 34.5 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"...slim cultures...value not overeating. They don't eat more of a food just because it's good. They enjoy the food more."--Oolala
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for stopping by my thread, Merry. And I completely agree with you.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2017 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Green day yesterday Smile

I considered including calorie counting, in addition to staying within the No S framework, for a good long time yesterday. And I did count the calories of everything I ate yesterday. But I've let that go - too crazy-making and too difficult.

I can't quite shut off being calorie aware of what I put on my plates. Maybe that will never leave me, and maybe it never has to. I'm a small woman, I am going to need a smaller amount of food than my husband for example. I just like to keep aware of that. I think, for me, it's kind of a built-in "don't be an idiot".
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2017 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nothing exciting to report about the weekend. I had a small bowl of chips on Saturday. I'm not really a chip person, and I wasn't really wowed.

Baked some cookies late Sunday afternoon. Enjoyed too many and had to skip dinner. Mr. Tortie had his fill, held a few back for his lunch today, and I binned the rest.

Glad to be back to N days.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 435
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 5:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tortie
I think there's a difference between being calorie aware, and obsessively counting every single calorie that passes your lips. I calorie counted for a long time and found it hard to let that go when I started NoS, but as you say it is such hard work and not helpful in the long run. But I think it can be useful to have an overview of your meal and an awareness of whether there's too many calorific items on your plate. I usually aim for a third at least to be vegetables or salad.
I agree about the relief of N days! Have a good week Smile
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2017 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Bluebell Smile

Sick day yesterday, but still ended up being a green day.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Green day yesterday, but gosh, the emotional and mental angst I put myself through.

I'm still exhausted. A longer than usual run of exceptionally bad insomnia has my mind invaded with some very nutty thoughts. I'm not a great sleeper, but I've not slept more than 3 or 4 hours a night since the middle of last week. I won't go into detail, but the day ended battling some powerful thoughts of self-loathing regarding my size and how a punitive/restrictive diet might be in order.

In the middle of the night this popped in my head and saved me :

"Ask yourself if you can imagine staying on a particular diet for the rest of your life. If not, don’t bother starting; it’s a waste of time and will."

Bluebell had quoted that from the book in Victoria's thread. I had read it yesterday, but didn't absorb it. And in the middle of the night I remembered it. Thank you, Bluebell, thank you, Reinhard. Thank you for ending the ruminations and bringing my very tired brain a little peace.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 435
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations for staying on track despite the exhaustion. Sleep deprivation is enough to send the most sane person crazy, you did so well not to give in. I remember when my boys were little, they were both shocking sleepers, the only thing to get me through the day would be caffeine and calories!
I am pleased the quote helped, and now that you have exercised your wilpower, here's another quote that may help you stay strong if you're having a future wobble:

'When you resist your appetite once, you make future resistance easier. You establish a precedent for good behavior that paves the way for more.'

I have found Reinhard's words in his book so inspiring that I copied several quotes onto my Ipad! I still find it helpful to return to them to keep them fresh in my head.

Hope you get some sleep soon Smile
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"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, Bluebell and thank you. I read the book quite awhile ago, but I have been skimming through the past few weeks here and there to refresh my memory. I also find it helpful.

Eating between meals is not the temptation this week, but restricting to a silly extreme is. I had been having fears that No S is not enough to cause weight loss. But it is. It's just been my overtired mind messing with me.

Edit: I look in the mirror and remind myself that I did not end up this way because of a lack of under-eating but because of an excess of overeating. Eliminating the excess is all that is needed. Punitive starvation is not required. Patience, Grasshopper.

Green day yesterday.

I woke up 3 hours before my alarm went off this morning. I always find longer days a challenge - more daylight hours to eat. But I have a plan to avoid that, and I think I'll be okay.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh gosh, still not sleeping. Our air conditioner broke last night, and we are still having some stinking hot summer weather that will carry on for the next week. Getting the a/c fixed today *fingers crossed* So the stress of it all contributed to my insomnia and I slept even less last night - didn't think that was possible at this stage.

But remarkably I had a green day, even though I was awake most of the night. Didn't see how eating would fix the situation.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7935
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It wouldn't.

Hi!

Hearing your story takes me right back 50 years to one summer I lived in Lynn, Massachusetts. Of course, no AC. It was so humid! Even at age 13, I tossed and turned. I had been raised mostly in California, with dry heat and a swamp cooler. I did not understand how people could live like that. Never mind the pilgrims. I don't think the climate was any better back then.

Does "binned the rest" mean you threw them out or stored them for later? TX

Have a great weekend.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Green day yesterday.

This is a long weekend for us, so I won't be checking in until Tuesday.

Oolala, no, I'm fortunate that retrieving sweets from the garbage has never been a temptation. My sympathies if that's something you've struggled with. I'm lucky, once something is in the bin it stays there. Have yourself a great weekend.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7935
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2017 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, I was asking what binned means. A bin in the states is usually a type of open storage container, though it can be a waste bin. I've never heard of using "binned' in the States as a term for throwing out or anything else. Maybe others caught on right away. Shocked
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Had a few nice treats over the long weekend; wine, a slice of cheesecake, a few cookies, and fish and chips for lunch yesterday. I enjoyed all of it.

Happy to be back to N days though. I'll check in again on Saturday.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Red afternoon. Ah well, lesson learned. Proper supper tonight ...back on track.

Held back some cheesecake from the weekend, instead of throwing out the remainder as planned. "Ah no, this is too nice nice/too expensive to throw out. And I'm sure Mr.Tortie will be happy to finish it..." Mr. Tortie does not need me to save my leftovers for him, he has plenty of treats of his own, that I have no interest in, to get him through the week. Any weekend goodies of mine will be binned Sunday night as I've been doing. Puts a nice "and, that's a wrap" feeling to it.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 3:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This week was so off, I had only one green day. I'm just fed up with a difficult situation- my asthma has been very challenged this season. I'm getting increasingly depressed being stuck indoors and for my exercise to be so limited. I'm getting cabin fever, and it's really affecting my mental health. Not sure if that's why I said f***-it, so many days this week, but I'm running out of ways to distract myself. Not being able to do much beyond essential housework, and being trapped at home has certainly weakened my resolve. I just started to get a bit nuts and frustrated, and well, at least cookies feel good was my reasoning.

It's just one week, things will settle down soon. I'm not worried, and I'm certainly not ready to throw in the towel.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7935
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good to hear.

The lure of the momentary pleasure is very real. It's hard to face that it IS true that it feels better right when we eat and yet if we want freedom, we have to choose not to do it. I've honestly never found anything that's as immediately and easily as reinforcing as overeating is. Though I've had a fair amount of success on Vanilla, it's an ongoing challenge to fill my time with fulfilling replacements. But I can tell you from here I've never been sorry I stuck it out, no matter how boring or frustrating the time in between has been. I used to think, well, if I can't get what I want in work, relationships, etc., at least I can eat. Over time, it's become, if I can't get x,y, or z, at least I'm not a prisoner of my food whims.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.


Last edited by oolala53 on Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
... if I can't get x,y, or z, at least I'm not a prisoner of my food whims.


So true.
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gingerpie



Joined: 06 Apr 2014
Posts: 780
Location: Pennsylvania, US

PostPosted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Tortie,
It is tough when you're stuck at home. You're right, eating that cookie does feel good - for a minute. Confused Hopefully next week will be a bit easier on you and you'll be able to get out more. Sometimes when I get wrapped up in eating I search for vegetable recipes and make those instead of cookies. I might still be eating and food focused but at least it gives me something to do and I don't feel quite so bad when I eat it.

Hope you have a nice day.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Insomnia became extreme once again the past few days. Yesterday I had to do do a full day having been awake since 3 am - the stress hormones took forever to wash out last night.

Anyway, so my sleep deprived addled brain got sucked into the lure of calorie counting once again. Bloody hell *shakes head* On Friday we had our standard Friday night roast, and I loaded my plate and felt stuffed and bloated afterwards. Truth was it was just that an exhausted and a very fatigued mind can forget itself. But my crazy brain said, "see, I knew this would happen! We really need to be calorie counting!" WTF? No, we really should just learn not to pile the plate so high when sleep deprived. With experience we'll learn to do this, even when depressed, even when we've not slept. Extra tired does not mean extra hungry. Although sometimes a 4th small meal is required when I've had a 21 hour day.

So, I calorie counted yesterday. Ended up having an English Muffin slathered with ,margarin at 12 am, (because I was still awake! despite being up since 3 am) probably because my dinner was too light and I was famished.

Anyway, back to plan today.

I know most of you can't relate how a mental illness can bring different challenges to a plan of eating, like No S- but I imagine that there are lurkers who might benefit from my posts. So I will carry on.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 11, 2017 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

gingerpie wrote:
Hi Tortie,
It is tough when you're stuck at home. You're right, eating that cookie does feel good - for a minute. Confused Hopefully next week will be a bit easier on you and you'll be able to get out more. Sometimes when I get wrapped up in eating I search for vegetable recipes and make those instead of cookies. I might still be eating and food focused but at least it gives me something to do and I don't feel quite so bad when I eat it.

Hope you have a nice day.


Thanks, gingerpie.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think most people can relate to how lack of sleep and anxious thoughts can affect our eating judgment. Some writers talk about such things as if they are doom. I'm glad you see that you can separate the two--with practice.

And I love what you said about not needing calorie counting, but instead neediing not to pile the plate so high! I have to admit I always wonder why people are willing to limit themselves when they have a calorie count but aren't willing to learn what reasonable portions are of the foods on their plate are enough. Especially ones who've been at it for years, though there are some whose calorie needs are so low they may need to be more precise. I know they must have eaten some of the same meals plenty of times, but apparently they still write it down and count the calories. I'd have to be under a doctor's order to do that and she'd have to have a very good reason!

Which is not to say some people don't combine No S and counting. Even Reinhard says he's not opposed to it, esp. since nowadays there are less onerous ways to do it. I tried for other reasons recently and it was so exasperating to have to record all the veggies I put in my salad and the extra creamer I decided my coffee needed, and the ... Shocked

I haven't regularly slept more than 6 hours a night for decades. I'm so charged up at work teaching that I stay more than alert. I do not understand why after some especially sleepless nights I, too, can be up late, feel a sense of being tired, but not actually sleepy. I'm often even say, "Body, it's okay! You can sleep now! It's time! But it does what it wants.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:


And I love what you said about not needing calorie counting, but instead neediing not to pile the plate so high! I have to admit I always wonder why people are willing to limit themselves when they have a calorie count but aren't willing to learn what reasonable portions are of the foods on their plate are enough.


Well, I can't speak for anyone else, but for me there's 3 reasons. I think we've been conditioned by the diet industry not to trust ourselves and our ability to learn from experience. But more personally, I am drawn to calorie counting because I don't give a toss in that moment about learning a new skill or finding a permanent solution, I just want the weight off yesterday. The other reason is usually that I know I can't stick with it(calorie counting, point counting, eliminating food groups etc) and it gives me an excuse to fail, and to fail quickly. I can then binge as a justified reaction to something that is someone else's fault - the diet industry, the pressure on women to be skinny ...yadda, yadda, yadda.

Thanks for contributing to my check-in, Oolala. These discussions really help cement it all in my head. I go over the same stuff time and time again, but well, that's how it works for me. I'm a bit of a slow learner with these sorts of things.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We're all slow learners on this! Except for Reinhard.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 1:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Red day yesterday. I know what happened - lesson learned. I take full responsibility.

I refuse to let it get me down. I think this is part of the circuitous route taken anytime I learn something new. I had almost 3 weeks of green days, and that was recent. I'm getting it, marking it and moving on. I get distracted by side streets instead of staying on the main road of No S. I'm sure this will happen less often as I keep on. The point is to just keep on. Nothing else is right, I've tried it all. Stay with the sane, Tortie, stay with the sane.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Exactly. Studies on long term weight loss maintainers found that the people said when they just stopped quitting because of this or that mistake, things turned around. Even at two steps forward, one step back, we can still get there if we aren't on a deadline.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Tortie



Joined: 17 Oct 2015
Posts: 68

PostPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The acid reflux came back. And the 3 am hunger that was waking and keeping me up until I ate, and for sometime after I ate as well. This time it wasn't meds. After a talk with my doctor, it would seem I'm better off eating smaller meals and including healthy snacks. I've been doing this for the past week and she was right. The reflux is gone, and I'm not waking up hungry in the middle of the night .

So, No S is just not going to work out for me. But that's okay. I don't need to calorie count or do anything crazy - just keep making healthier choices, and keep up my exercise routine and I'll get there.
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