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Moksha's occasional check-in

 
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moksha



Joined: 24 Nov 2017
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 1:50 pm    Post subject: Moksha's occasional check-in Reply with quote

Friday FAILURE

I woke up insanely depressed and angry on Friday, had my breakfast and then had my lunch early along with a muffin (which I never normally eat and is a binge trigger for me) and the day just spiralled out of control from there. I find if I wake up in a bad mood it's much harder for me to stick to no-s (or anything really). I'm determined to stick with this though. Today is a new day.


Last edited by moksha on Mon Dec 18, 2017 6:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Ria



Joined: 30 Nov 2017
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi moksha! Just wanted to say I'm rooting for you. Don't feel so bad if you have a bad day! Like you said, today's a new day. But if it means anything, I lost 67 lbs formally counting calories, and the one thing I learned is not to wait for tomorrow. A new moment's a new moment, and I think this applies more so to No S. Other people have been doing this way longer than me though, so they'll have more to say. If you even want to PM me, go ahead! Best of luck! Smile
_________________
"Simplicity, patience, and compassion. These three are your greatest treasures." - Lao Tzu
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gingerpie



Joined: 06 Apr 2014
Posts: 988
Location: Pennsylvania, US

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Moksha, I hope you're feeling better today. Please don't let a failed day get you down. Just note what happened and move on to the next minute/hour/day. Easier said than done, I know. I think one of the most important lessons I learned was that I don't Have to pile one mistake into another. It's a choice and I can choose to be successful now . . . in this moment.

Reinhard has a podcast (episode #41) that discusses this issue here:
https://everydaysystems.com/podcast/

Kind regards,
Virginia
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moksha



Joined: 24 Nov 2017
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ria wrote:
Hi moksha! Just wanted to say I'm rooting for you. Don't feel so bad if you have a bad day! Like you said, today's a new day. But if it means anything, I lost 67 lbs formally counting calories, and the one thing I learned is not to wait for tomorrow. A new moment's a new moment, and I think this applies more so to No S. Other people have been doing this way longer than me though, so they'll have more to say. If you even want to PM me, go ahead! Best of luck! Smile


Thanks for the encouragement Ria! I know when I mess up I should just forgive myself and move on... unfortunately years and years of dieting and binge eating habitual patterns are tough to crack. I always try, though!

Gingerpie I'll check out that podcast ASAP!

Yesterday went incredibly well and only had a sugar-free hot chocolate before bad as a snack. I weighed myself today... 133.6. Think I'm going to weigh myself every Sunday and post the results... hopefully noticing a downward trend! Will do my best not to judge myself if not though.[/quote]
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moksha



Joined: 24 Nov 2017
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This whole month has been red days for me. I'm very committed to no s and start the day off with fantastic intentions and then make some rookie mistakes (not bringing enough food for my meals to work, then binging on chocolate and carrying the subsequent blood sugar imbalance onto the next day). I've also been increasingly depressed/anxious in my day to day, as per is usual for me for this time of year. I lose motivation quickly when most of my thoughts turn toward ending everything or "what is even the point?". I get my wisdom tooth out tomorrow and I'm very scared because I won't have anyone to keep me company or for the weekend of intense pain coming up (I live alone).

Sorry if I sound like a drama queen. I'm committed to no s and am confident it is the way for me, now if I could only manage to stick to it.
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gingerpie



Joined: 06 Apr 2014
Posts: 988
Location: Pennsylvania, US

PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi moksha,
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. It doesn't really matter that you are having a bunch of red days as long and you are seeing some improvement and/or experiencing some peace with your eating habits. I've had whole months of nothing but red but I was always able to point to some area of distinct improvement. For example, at first I was really only successful between breakfast and lunch but then (like you) would fail with an afternoon snack and again an evening snack. Overtime, I was able to extend my success a few more hours into the day. Currently, I'm still working on my evening snack habit and I'm at about a 50% success rate with it. Considering I started at 0% I think 50% is a fine place to be. It's just important to realize that if your only measure is weight-loss this very slow changing of habits isn't likely to yield any noticeable decrease on the scale. For me, I wanted weight-loss for a while but my attitude has changed and now I'm far more motivated by other measures of improvement.
Quote:
I've also been increasingly depressed/anxious in my day to day, as per is usual for me for this time of year. I lose motivation quickly when most of my thoughts turn toward ending everything or "what is even the point?".

This time of year can be difficult for a lot of folks and I can certainly understand why it would effect your motivation. I hope you have support around you that can help you deal with your depression and anxiety. I can only say that success in any area (such as no-s) can help lead the way to success in other areas.

Remember to treat yourself kindly and to not expect too much of yourself for the next few days. Oh, and be sure to get lots of soup into the house so that you have something to eat.

Best of luck to you.
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moksha



Joined: 24 Nov 2017
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2017 6:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

gingerpie wrote:
Hi moksha,
I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. It doesn't really matter that you are having a bunch of red days as long and you are seeing some improvement and/or experiencing some peace with your eating habits. I've had whole months of nothing but red but I was always able to point to some area of distinct improvement. For example, at first I was really only successful between breakfast and lunch but then (like you) would fail with an afternoon snack and again an evening snack. Overtime, I was able to extend my success a few more hours into the day. Currently, I'm still working on my evening snack habit and I'm at about a 50% success rate with it. Considering I started at 0% I think 50% is a fine place to be. It's just important to realize that if your only measure is weight-loss this very slow changing of habits isn't likely to yield any noticeable decrease on the scale. For me, I wanted weight-loss for a while but my attitude has changed and now I'm far more motivated by other measures of improvement.
Quote:
I've also been increasingly depressed/anxious in my day to day, as per is usual for me for this time of year. I lose motivation quickly when most of my thoughts turn toward ending everything or "what is even the point?".

This time of year can be difficult for a lot of folks and I can certainly understand why it would effect your motivation. I hope you have support around you that can help you deal with your depression and anxiety. I can only say that success in any area (such as no-s) can help lead the way to success in other areas.

Remember to treat yourself kindly and to not expect too much of yourself for the next few days. Oh, and be sure to get lots of soup into the house so that you have something to eat.

Best of luck to you.


Thanks very much for the encouragement gingerpie. I ended up not getting my teeth out (after a discussion with the surgeon we determined it wasn't all that necessary and plus, if we're being honest, I was terrified at the thought of going under in the first place and the subsequent healing process afterward). I've been sticking to 3 meals the past couple days and it's been fairly easy, but we'll see on Monday. Mondays for whatever reason are always tough for me. Too much sugar on S days I think.

I don't have much of a support network and don't really feel like I have one that "gets" me as a person, which leads me to feeling weird about socializing. I have family but have a difficult time relating to them, despite the love. But it's nothing really new. Best of luck to both of us for getting through this holiday season relatively unscathed (;
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moksha



Joined: 24 Nov 2017
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only five days have been green for me this month so far. Not great.

But I had a non-scale victory yesterday. I was at work and my boss's mom came in with a whole plate full of Christmas treats. She's notoriously a fabulous baker and cookies are just about my favourite thing on the planet. But I stayed strong and didn't have any, even though the plate was less than four feet away from me for close to three hours! And then I went home.

It was a red day, because I had two Christmas squares after a very late dinner my friend brought over the day prior. But not a huge slip, and I'm really happy to have not given in earlier.

Most of my slips haven't been huge slips... only a few. Even though I've had such few green days, I do feel like my eating habits are slowly getting better. And that's better than I was before. I'm going to try my hardest to make today a green day, though I got a very (very) poor sleep last night and I'm feeling quite anxious/sad today. Fingers crossed I can stay in a strong and responsible mind set.
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milliem



Joined: 20 Mar 2011
Posts: 1098

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like a definite victory to me, this time of year is rough for Christmas treats being all over the place! Every choice not to eat a snack or sweet is a good step even if you don't make those choices every time. It's hard to remember the positive things sometimes and give yourself credit for those, but try not to just focus on red!

Maybe you could track each habit separately so you can see the times when you do succeed in at least one of the 3 'NoS's'?
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 8450
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hang in there! Defeat the tired, anxious urges by just waiting them out, if you can. Tough but big payoff!
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 8 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but harder to maintain)
Dec/17 23.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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gingerpie



Joined: 06 Apr 2014
Posts: 988
Location: Pennsylvania, US

PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi moksha, how are you doing? Are you still with us?
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