Everyday Systems

[ZippaDee]

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don't say anything if she's lost weight. Don't say anything if she's gained weight.

If you think your daughter's body looks amazing, don't say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

"You look so healthy!" is a great one.

Or how about, "You're looking so strong."

"I can see how happy you are -- you're glowing."

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don't comment on other women's bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don't you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don't go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don't say, "I'm not eating carbs right now." Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom's recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It's easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don't. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
~ Sarah Koppelkam
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"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day." ~Winnie the Pooh ~

A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!

Diets Don't Work.

[ZippaDee]

My mother-in-law, who has been my mother-in-law since I was 19, never comments on my weight during the multiple times in my life that I have lost weight....at one point I lost 60 pounds...NOT a word from her about it. She does, however, comment on my weight when I have put on a few pounds saying "Have you lost weight?" or some similar comment. She also always comments on other peoples weight. This stuff does matter!!....especially to young girls.
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"Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day." ~Winnie the Pooh ~

A Flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms!

Diets Don't Work.

[Merry]

Great post!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of 11-30-15.
2 years and counting on No-S.
29 lbs. down, 34 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.
Respect Moderation

[MaggieMae]

Zippadee, your post made me cry because it is so beautiful and true. My mom did he opposite of those things and I have struggled with food issues and eating disorders my whole life. So important what we say and do. I have a son who is starting to use he word fat and I'm guessing he heard it from my mom. Or maybe classmates. He is skinny but at five years old I didn't want him aware of these terms yet. Oh well.

[Mustloseweight]

Wonderful I copied and pasted onto Facebook. Thank you for sharing.

Anne x
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September 2017 - Starting weight: 19st 9lbs
March 2018 - 17st 2lbs
July 2018 - 16st 4lbs
Target Weight: 11 stones

Total loss so far: 47lbs