Linda's daily check-in

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating

margot17
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by margot17 » Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:25 am

It wasn't me who wrote it, I had to google the sq ft, but congratulations it's a big house!

Would you be open to move the meal of the day to lunch for a while, or would it be too inconvenient? I remember when I listened to their very good podcast, one of the 2 keto dudes, who did OMAD, changed from dinner to lunch, and it made a great difference for him.

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 27, 2019 2:25 am

Oops sorry Margot! This new format messes me up! I bet id do good with like a 2pm-4 pm window but I have a hard time of letting go of family meal time. I feel like I will be able to experiment more once my girls are off to college 😢. I just really want them to see me eating “normally “ as much as possible.

Today did not go as planned. Hormones have me wanting to eat everything in sight. Im really afraid of gaining all the weight back. Tomorrow will be better.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 27, 2019 6:19 am

Do you think, Id gain weight back if I went back to NoS vanilla? Im feeling so burnt out on fasting lately. :/
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

nonoodles
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by nonoodles » Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:01 pm

I pretty much never comment but love the vibe and philosophy of this board, and find a lot of the people and their journeys interesting and inspirational. And you are one of them!
As to fasting, from what I can see from your posts, it just doesn’t appear to be working for you anymore, and does seem to be causing you lots of stress. Maybe just try to lock in your losses and mix it up again.
There is no law that says you have to eat one way for the rest of your life!
I have had years of vegan, vegetatarian, low fat, low carb and they each felt good in their time and kept my weight in check AS LONG AS I cut the snacking, sugar, junky food and giant portions (ie seconds:) I think the framework of no s is pretty perfect, except for the s day concept. If you can follow the Sometimes part it’s great, but for me it just keeps the bad habits going strong. But that’s just me.
You have accomplished so much. Enjoy your beautiful body.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Soprano » Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:19 pm

I've thought for a while you might not be eating enough now. Nos would be a great way to start but you might have to be prepared for some increase in weight while your body adjusts.

So I'd say 3 meals but watch portion sizes and composition.

You've done great so far just don't panic

Xxxx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Staff Assistant III » Wed Mar 27, 2019 1:47 pm

Hi Linda!

I'm currently doing NoS in a limted eating window....after reading much of the Circadian Code, I think a 10 hour window mainly during the day works well for me. I am in a norma weight range but would love to be a little lower on the scale, and this seems to combine the best of both. I did fast for several months lost (never more than a 1/2 lb a week but that's normal for me on any plan) but felt that OMAD didn't work well for me for various reasons.

Maybe a hybrid would work?
No S start date 1/11/19

BMI Jan 19 22.7, FEb 19 22.9

Kathleen
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Wed Mar 27, 2019 5:47 pm

Linda,
Don't take it as a failure of willpower that you are feeling burned out on fasting. Maybe it is your body that has had enough, and it is best to listen to it. I tried an eating window of 12 hours and gained back 10 of the 15 pounds I had lost with a 7 hour window, so now I am back to the 7 hour eating window. We are all different and have to figure out what works for us. From reading your story, I think it might work for you to lengthen your eating window from OMAD and allow your body to adjust to the lower weight you realized through fasting. Life is short. You have kids at home. Years from now, you may be happy that you enjoyed these years with your kids. One of our children is married. This year, we will drive total of 21 hours to spend 6 hours seeing her get her master's degree, we will fly to Oregon to spend a weekend with her where she has an internship, and we will see her for a few days at Christmas. Yes, we are in frequent contact with her, but personal time together is so limited. Do I regret how much time I spent on dieting? Yes.
Kathleen

PS. When I am walking at the gym, I listen to podcasts and today I listened to the beginning of a podcast on intermittent fasting in which the person being interviewed said that there can be paradoxical effects (not expected) from intermittent fasting especially in women, negative effects like a rise in the stress hormone cortisol. Podcast is from the Broken Brain Podcast by Dhru Purohit: "Biohacking for Better Health: Intermittent Fasting, Ketogenic Diet and Lab Testing with Robin Berzin."

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:25 pm

Thanks you guys so much for the support, compassion and advice. Well I had a piece of toast at 10:30 am and didn’t suddenly gain 20 lbs. I walked the dogs, did my weight routine and just felt really hungry. I thought this is ridiculous, I should be able to have a piece of toast without it being such a big deal.

It sucks because I really really thought IF was the answer for me, but I guess in the end it was just another stupid diet? Idk, I feel kind of stupid and mostly I’m embarrassed. My biggest fear is gaining back weight and seeing those ppl that showered me with compliments but maybe I won’t gain. And let’s face it, I’m already gaining weight (up to 163 lbs today) so I don’t know if it matters what I do or don’t do as far as that goes.

I cried today thinking how much abuse my body has been through. It’s just trying to do its best. It’s been through so dang much with so much extreme dieting and exercising followed my overeating and underexercising and just so much daily judgement no matter what it does.

I know NoS is the answer to all these extremes but I will just never be an “acceptable “ weight with moderation. Oh well , what other option do I have ? Not any good ones.

I think I’ll give myself the option of doing NoS but letting me have that first meal as late as feels good and give myself the option of skipping meals if I want but the point is my 3 plates are there if I need them. I do know I can never go back to unstructured S days again so will need a plan for that. *Sigh*
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:55 am

Nono: well I’m glad ypu did comment because what you said made a lot of sense. You’re right, IF definitely just is not working for me anymore. I cant believe i was so blind to it but I guess I just really wanted to make it work. I agree about the S days too. Mine never calmed dowm. I guess it’s back to the basics.

Soprano: Thank you, you’re right I can’t panic. Just time to regroup.

Staffy: I think I’ll beopen to pushing breakfast back or even just skipping it depending upon how Im feeling but I just cant have any hard rules with fasting right now. It really seemed to be causing me some backlash behaviors. Weird that it took this long for them to start to come out. I really loved fasting for awhile.

Kathleen: i know it’s crazy how much time and energy Ive put into losing weight. I guess what was most disturbing to me is that I was starting to have old unhealthy behaviors pop up like near bingeing and obsessive thoughts. I really havent gone down that road in many years. And you’re right, time with our children is precious. Anything that takes from that isnt worh it.

Sooo i dont really know what I’m doing but I’ll figure it out.


Exercise: 30 min walk, 30 min weights, 10 min HIIT
Last edited by lpearlmom on Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

Soprano
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Soprano » Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:06 am

Have you measured yourself, you are doing some good exercise it might not be fat you are gaining.

How many calories in a froyo bar?

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

margot17
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by margot17 » Thu Mar 28, 2019 6:45 am

I can't believe I feel so heartbroken for someone who weighs 150-60 lb... :wink:
Hope things will resolve soon for you! Maybe you have stalled at this weight for enough time for it to have become a setpoint, and you won't gain weight easily. I certainly wish that for you. Get some WELL-DESERVED refeeding phase! then you'll think what to do next with a clearer mind. A hug.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Thu Mar 28, 2019 2:33 pm

Sometimes I have a weekend of big eating and I'm shocked at how little I actually gain (I mean, a couple pounds maybe, but not scary horrible). So having a food-fest once in a while is probably good for resting our willpower muscles.

I think you may be on to something. Plateaus are not very motivating, you know?
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:29 pm

Thanks you guys! It’s really not so much about the weight as it is about the disordered behaviors for me. I know that’s hard to believe for someone so seemingly focused on the scale but im just so relieved to be away from all that overly restrictive mindset. It was starting to put me back in that scary starve/binge cycle that i havent been since my 20s. Also, the obsessive pre-nos thinking was back in full force. IF was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the usually last thing I thought about each night. Not healthy!

Btw, I realize IF is great for many, many ppl. I think those of us with disordered tendencies just need to proceed with caution however.

Im going to figure this out—really! ☺️
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

automatedeating
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:55 pm

Hello again - somehow I was replying to an earlier comment you had made when you were still trying to work the IF plan. Then I saw I had missed a crapload of posts this week and my comment didn't really fit with the more recent stuff.

Nonoodles - you should post more often! I second what Linda said - you make a lot of sense and it's fun to have people join the convo.

Linda - I think waiting until you are actually hungry to eat is perfect. It might be 9am or 10am or noon - whatever you know?

Anyway, of course you'll figure it out! You always do!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:12 pm

Thanks for the vote of confidence auto and yes things are happening rapidly on my thread over the last couple of days! Not to be dramatic but I kind of feel like i woke up from a long dream! ☺️
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:33 am

Soprano: I used to measure myself every month but haven’t for awhile. I bet some of the gain is from the weight lifting though. I also think the gain will stop now that Im not having backlash eating from IF. Oh, 90 calories in a froyo bar but no way am i going back to counting calories. ☺️

Margot: thanks so much. Im hoping my weight stays here. I’m feeling pretty done with trying to lose more. Not worth the damage to my mental health.

Today was SO good! Feels really good not having to worry about milk in my tea or whether or chewing gum will break my fast. In the end it was just too restrictive for me I guess.

We’re getting our new dishwasher delivered tomorrow. Im excited—its the little things i guess. 😁



Exercise: dog walk, 30 mins weights
Last edited by lpearlmom on Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

Soprano
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Soprano » Fri Mar 29, 2019 5:57 am

I wasn't for one minute going to suggest counting calories :)

But being aware of the fact you are eating a 270 cal dessert on a regular basis might be useful :)

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

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Octavia
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Fri Mar 29, 2019 9:57 am

Hi Linda,
How are you today? Hope you are feeling positive and excited about starting a new phase of life. And enjoying your well-deserved toast. It seems to me that IF has been great for you, and you’ve achieved a lot, but most things outlive their usefulness after a while and maybe it’s just the natural way of things, that you’re ready for a different approach. Nothing stays the same, and maybe IF has morphed into something that you’ve had the wisdom to recognise is no longer working. You’ve done it properly, for long enough, to get a good idea of the strengths and weaknesses of the system. So you should feel satisfied and proud! :) So many people dabble with these systems and have to rely on experts to point out the long-term pros and cons. But not ipearlmom, oh no! She does it right! She goes on that quest and learns for herself! :)

I sometimes wonder if there’s too much emphasis on ‘permanent’ success (in dieting or anything...) - yet we all know that nothing is permanent...life is a constant process of tweaking, changing path, adapting....in our relationships, families, hobbies, careers, health, everything. Like nonoodles said, these phases of eating behaviour can all be great while they last...maybe this isn’t a failure for IF, but simply a natural end.

Anyway, keep posting and let us know your new direction! X

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:13 pm

Octavia thank you for your thoughtful response and that’s a nice positive spin on everything. Well I can’t speak for others, I can say that for me it wasn’t only not working for me anymore but leading to very unhealthy, disordered behaviors. I see these same behaviors are rampant on the IF boards so that’s worrisome too but like I said I can only speak to my experience.

Yup, Im quite aware of how much Im eating and know how to multiply 90x3 but thanks for that. I’m no longer going to list my food intake. That was just to calm me, not for others to scrutinize.
Last edited by lpearlmom on Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:32 pm, edited 5 times in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

margot17
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by margot17 » Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:50 pm

lpearlmom wrote:
Fri Mar 29, 2019 1:13 pm
Unfortunately, I can see all to clearly now that for the majority of ppl, IF leads to disordered eating.
Wow that's quite an insight, they sure don't tell you on youtube of this shadow aspect to IF.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Fri Mar 29, 2019 2:07 pm

Hi Linda,

IF led to binge eating when I tried 3 36 hour fasts per week, when I tried OMAD, when I tried a 4 hour eating window, and even when I tried a 6 hour eating window. I did not lose weight with an 8 hour eating window and gained weight with a 12 hour eating window. That's why I settled on a 7 hour eating window. This is my story. Yours is different. OMAD did not work for you long term. Maybe lengthening your eating window could. I don't think it is necessarily the idea of IF that leads to disordered eating. I think it may be the length of the eating window that must be tweaked for each individual.

What I believe may be the indicator of a person who would be successful with IF is that it is easy to not eat but it is difficult to stop eating.

We are all rooting for you. We can give your our thoughts and share our experiences and wish you the best. You have done great. It may be that your body wants a little recovery time from the stress of OMAD.

Kathleen

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Octavia
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Fri Mar 29, 2019 4:22 pm

...you’ve really got this, Linda, and I certainly do think something positive will come from your new insights. Sounds like this style of eating did lead you to some problematic and maybe scary areas, and it’s good that you’ve identified it before it got worse. And you have the safety net of basic No S to fall back on. Despite my own ups and downs, I still think the vanilla system is great for staying sane! Sending hugs x

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by 3squaremeals » Sun Mar 31, 2019 8:07 am

Hi Linda

Sorry to hear that IF hasn't worked out for you. I have to admit that I occasionally get caught up in the restrictive eating pattern of IF and the clean fasting camp. IF only ever works for me when I do it Kayla's way, nice and relaxed by allowing myself milk in my tea and coffee and not cutting food groups. As soon as I start thinking about clean fasting and clean eating I start binging. The last few days have been really bad binge days for me, which hasn't happened in ages. I need to stop thinking about clean eating/fasting and get myself back to where I was as I felt in a good place with food. I feel OMAD is the only way for me because once I start eating I can't seem to stop unless of course I make it to my main meal then I have no problem stopping.

At the end of the day you have to do what works for you and if No S is what works then that is great or even a more relaxed approach to IF then that is also great. Disordered eating is awful, I completely understand how you feel xx

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:04 pm

Here I come in again after missing a boatload of comments. Not surprisingly, I found myself wanting to cut and paste a lot of Octavia's.
Nothing stays the same, and maybe IF has morphed into something that you’ve had the wisdom to recognise is no longer working.
Yes! Or even just a break after which someone can return to something later.
I sometimes wonder if there’s too much emphasis on ‘permanent’ success (in dieting or anything...) - yet we all know that nothing is permanent...life is a constant process of tweaking, changing path, adapting....in our relationships, families, hobbies, careers, health, everything. Like nonoodles said, these phases of eating behaviour can all be great while they last...maybe this isn’t a failure for IF, but simply a natural end.
Really quite poetic. Linda, perhaps you can do like Marie Kondo and pat your IF ideas and thank them for their time with you before taking them to the thrift store. :lol: :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

margot17
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by margot17 » Sun Mar 31, 2019 4:28 pm

Marie Kondo :lol:

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by margot17 » Tue Apr 02, 2019 2:19 pm

Hey Linda is it all fine with you? how is your refeeding going? do tell us!
wish you all the best!

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Larkspur » Thu Apr 11, 2019 6:46 pm

Seconding Octavia's lovely remarks-- trying new things is not necessarily bad-- you probably learned a lot in this process. If nothing else, your experience led me to some changes which have been lasting (so far) and quite helpful for both me and my husband :)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by nonoodles » Mon Apr 15, 2019 10:48 pm

Hi Linda. It’s me, the Lurker :) I miss your posts! And I miss your girls and your food and your thoughts about anything and everything. Come back!!

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sat Apr 20, 2019 3:56 am

Linda - I know you'll come back when you are ready (I envision WonderWoman with her shield and awesome metal headband) - but I do miss you. "I ain't missing you at all tonight" - one of the best 80's songs, but we all know that guy was lying..... :-) I miss you. :-)

John Waite - "missing you"
https://youtu.be/S89AmJFP-j0
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Apr 21, 2019 6:28 am

Awww thank you guys! I really didn't think anyone would really notice if i just kind of disappeared. All is well although i have no idea what I’m doing eating wise. I admit i was kind of taken aback by how nonchalant everyone seemed about my recent struggles but I know it’s because nobody could really see how much pain I was in. I called my mom recently to tell her I had stopped fasting and just broke down crying. I told her I just felt like i was letting everyone down. She told me to forget about dieting and that she loved me no matter what. I cannot tell you how long I've been waiting to hear that. Well yeah its been about 41 years I guess.

Anyway, I realized that my eating issues are pretty complicated and am looking into getting some professional help. Thank you all for your support and encouragement but just feel like i need to kind of figure this out on my own for a bit without too much external input. Ill still be checking on everyone’s threads now and then and I’ll be back in a couple of months when Im feeling stronger.

PS Thanks auto, that song brought back some very strong memories! Love it!

💜💜💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

automatedeating
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Mon Apr 22, 2019 12:31 am

OK, looking forward to hearing more from you when you are ready. And I will be very interested to hear if you find a good counselor for these issues - we will all learn from you.

And pretty sweet that your mom was there for you when you needed, despite how long it took for her to actually do it.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:03 pm

Good luck with your journey, Linda. Do check in if you get time, I will really miss you! I hope you find the good help you deserve. You have certainly helped me. X

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Mon Apr 29, 2019 4:32 am

I feel like Id like to post again. Honestly I feel a little lost without this place. I just feel so much better getting my thoughts down on “paper”. Plus, you all are amazing & you somehow put up with all my craziness.

Auto: yup, my mom is awesome. She’s really good at owning her mistakes.

Octavia: thanks for the kind words! 💗

Alot has happened in the last few weeks:

1) We got new carpet which was uber stressful but so happy we did it. It’s super lush (our old one was disgusting) and the girls are being super good about taking their shoes off.
2) My mil came and we went hot air ballooning.
3) I got eyelash extensions and love, love, love them.
4) Had my first colonoscopy and the prep was ever bit as disgusting as promised but the drugs did not live up to the hype.
5) We hosted a party for docs office staff and i had no idea how many hot young girls he worked with. I have no trust concerns but it did make me feel a bit old. ☺️
6) sweetpea is happy and being respectful but her grades are terrible right now. Not sure what to do. 🤦🏼‍♀️
7) Rosebud is doing great in school but she seems to be gaining a little weight and it makes me nervous. Id never say anything of course and she’s still like a size 4 instead of a zero but it’s interesting how this triggers me. I guess i don't want her to suffer like i have but of course in our weight obsessed society she’ll suffer no matter what her size is. 😞

Speaking of weight mine seems to just keep going up & up. Ive had quite the food fest and this two weeks of pmsing (thanks peri menopause) certainly isn't helping. I realized that the only thing that really helped me from obsessing about food and gave me any hope of having a healthy relationship with food was nos. I wish i never stopped but I gave into the pressure to be thinner and wanted to lose more weight. Well that and i thought it'd help with my reflux. It didn't.

Anyway, id like to try NoS again but i want to do it 7 days, with desserts added on weekends but no snacks. I just don't do good with all that free reign. I can have some true S days on special holidays and bdays but i really don't need them every weekend. Right now i just want consistency and routine. Of course, Im seeing a anti-diet dietician on Tuesday and Ill see what she says. She may want me to do something entirely different. Hopefully not intuitive eating. I cannot go back to 210 lbs. :/

I ate non-stop today and feel absolutely huge.

Weigh:164.5 lbs

Break: Grapes, bagel with cream cheese,
Snack: handful of chocolates, chips and dip, key lime pie,
Dinner: bowl of soup, more grapes,
Dessert: apple pie with ice cream.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by ladybird30 » Mon Apr 29, 2019 7:28 am

Hi LInda, I wish you all the best & look forward to hearing about how things are with you.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Octavia
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Mon Apr 29, 2019 10:45 am

Hi Linda,
I’m so happy you’ve posted! I actually felt a bit emotional. This forum is incredibly special. We have truly supported each other, and it’s amazing to find how women so far apart in the world are living through the same battles.

Anyway I love your new No S plan. I’m also busy formulating a new way ahead that sounds very like yours. I was very fed up with ongoing failure, or perhaps half-hearted mediocrity is a better way of describing it, and I know I need to modify my S days and take greater care to eat better on my N days. These things are starting to feel non-negotiable. The idea of ‘freedom’ just feels like the freedom to hurt myself through old, addictive patterns.

I can relate to your worries about the girls. My slim DD has become curvy this last year, and I can see how her self-esteem is reliant upon not crossing over that line into heaviness. And like you say, they will suffer no matter what their size is. I too feel I can’t afford to put any restrictions on what she eats (typical teenage diet). Her grades are also very up and down.

Well, I’d better get on and do something! Good luck with the dietician - can’t wait to hear how it goes - I hope she’s good.

PS hope all well re. Colonoscopy. Well done for enduring that...💐

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Mon Apr 29, 2019 10:46 am

PPS. I love your motto ‘eyes on your own plate’!!! Here’s to that. :)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:24 pm

Welcome back! Maybe there is a reason why we never left the No S discussion group even though we committed to intermittent fasting!
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:54 pm

Oooh, I like the sound of this plan!

So happy to hear your updates!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:35 am

Thank you lady!

Octavia: thanks for your sweet response! I really love this community too. Good luck with your daughter as well as your NoS plan. The S days always threw me off and those teen years are definitely challenging but we will figure out both! Oh and the colonoscopy went well. They said i don't need to come back for another 10 yrs. *phew*

Kathleen: i know, right? ☺️

Auto: 💜

Was so nice eating 3 meals again. Feels so nice & normal My weight is crazy high but after all that pie and pms, Im not surprised. Im not super upset surprisingly enough. I don't even cate about losing weight anymore. It kind of seems like a lame goal right now. Its not going to really improve my life but the obsession with losing weight is definitely going to cause me unhappiness. Maintaining is my goal for now. 160-165 lbs is a fine range for me for now.

167 lbs

Break: green smoothie
Lunch: roasted corn soup with half bagel, apple
Dinner: portobello reuben sandwich, chips, watermelon, 2 glasses wine
Dessert: 2 lollipops

Exercise:dog walks, 30 mins weights.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by nonoodles » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:15 am

Welcome back!

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Tue Apr 30, 2019 1:24 pm

Linda,
I am so glad to see that attitude! The teenage years go by so fast, and I think it is just critical that Mom is available and involved during those years. There is seven years' difference in age between our youngest and our oldest, and we have seen some dramatic differences: a transgender kid in every classroom, suicides in the junior high, vaping as acceptable among teens as speeding is among adults, etc. I don't want to scare you but do want to caution you. Your family is what is important.
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by nonoodles » Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:28 pm

So glad to see you back. And weight REALLY is totally secondary to eating in a way which makes you feel good and happy and not obsessed. And that can continually change as do all things. Honestly, nobody really cares what someone else weighs. People may momentarily notice if someone gains a huge amount or loses a huge amount, but mostly people care about how they feel when they are with you. Whether they feel heard and understood and cared for and all those things that have absolutely nothing to do with what someone looks like.
I have this crack pot theory that there is a small percent of the population that are objectively gorgeous to look at, but most people’s looks disappear to you once you know them. It’s that inner-ness that you see. The inside of the book.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:17 pm

What a beautiful post, nonoodles.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Apr 30, 2019 3:50 pm

Thank you guys! So so true nono. I could care less about how much my friends weigh and doc is every bit as handsome to me as the day I met him.

Kathleen: yup a lot of vaping and drugs. My kids tell me all about it. It’s even in middle school here. Somehow they seem to miraculously be smart enough to stay away from all that (so far). I have no issues with transgender kids in their classrooms though. I’ve taught them to accept all ppl regardless of race, gender, size or sexual orientation. I’m super proud of them for doing so.

Have a great day all!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Tue Apr 30, 2019 9:54 pm

Hi Linda,
This is off topic, but I did want to explain myself. It's "a transgender kid in every classroom" that concerns me. What changed in just a few years (seven) from when there were no transgender kids in my oldest child's high school to today when there is a transgender kid in every classroom? Thanks,
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Wed May 01, 2019 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Tue Apr 30, 2019 11:57 pm

So I have friends that are transgender as well as friends that have transgender kids and it is not a “movement” or a choice. It’s definitely not something that kids are pressured into because of their hobbies. I think we are past the time when we think only certain genders can have certain interests and abilities. Transgender people are simply trapped in the wrong sex bodies and it’s a living hell.

Nobody would willing choose that for themselves or their children as it’s a very difficult and dangerous identity to have due to the fear ppl have about anyone whose different than them. I hope that ppl will educate themselves about what it actually means to be transgender and how brave these ppl are to even leave their houses each day.

I really respect you Kathleen as a dedicated mother and for the support you’ve shown to me and other people on this board but I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. This probably isn’t really the place for this anyway but if you’d like to discuss it further please feel free to private msg me. I think we should move on from it on here though. Thanks!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed May 01, 2019 2:59 pm

Sorry for that tangent but it is an important often misunderstood issue.

Anyway.... I met with my eating counselor yesterday and it went better than expected. We kind of talked about everything and not just eating/weight things. She said it was a miracle I didn’t have a full blown eating disorder considering my history. She also talked about something I’ve never heard before where ppl freeze up during traumatic events and cannot move till the event is over. That is what happens to me and I still have that sensation when I’m stuck in the dentist chair. It also happened when I was getting my eyelashes done. You have to lie in this recliner for an hour with your eyes shut. I’m stressed the whole time and was surprised that other ppl fall asleep during the application. It all makes sense now.

She understands how problematic intuitive eating is for many of us and wants me to come up with my own plan based on what makes me feel best. I thought about how auto has found a way of eating that just really works for her and makes her feel fantastic. I think she’s hoping I will find something like that for myself.

So I’m not totally sure what I’m doing yet but I feel hopeful. I read Michelle Mays book a few years ago but didn’t realize my counselor had written it with her. She’s got tons of experience and credentials up the ying yang so I feel I’m in good hands. And I’m thrilled she’s not a size 2. 😊

For now I’m supposed to check in with myself several times a day to see how I’m feeling and write it in a journal. I’m really looking forward to our next session. So all and all a good experience.
Last edited by lpearlmom on Thu May 02, 2019 4:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Octavia
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Wed May 01, 2019 5:09 pm

Great to hear the session went well!

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lpearlmom
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu May 02, 2019 4:57 am

Thanks Octavia!

Feeling a little under the weather today. Stressing about my weight too and then ended the day with the girls fighting. Ugh, just an off day I guess.

Break: smoothie-almond milk & banana
Lunch: sw salad & glass wine (went out w a friend)
Dinner: impossible burger, couple fries
Dessert: soy ice cream & couple of cookies

Exercise: 12 min circuit training
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by oolala53 » Thu May 02, 2019 6:57 pm

Did I miss the post I thought I put up about how envious I am of your body fat content? Not that you need any comments on body stuff. I just want to affirm that you have accomplished a lot. I'm pretty sure my body fat wasn't that low even when I was a teen (though not a slim one, at the high end of BMI.) You may have messed with some mental stuff but I think some of the changes have also been positive. You are making your way! There's only before and during, and during can involve a lot of continuing adjustments.

I'm not sure what to else say because I sense you are feeling rather vulnerable these says, with good reason. I may send you something separately.

I don't pray as others do, but I do pray in my own way for this to be resolved well enough and soon enough to avoid unnecessary pain for you. I hope you know I"m on your side!
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Fri May 03, 2019 1:24 am

There's only before and during, and during can involve a lot of continuing adjustments.
I love this!!!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Fri May 03, 2019 5:53 am

Thank you so much oolala. It really means a lot to me. I know the body fat definitely is encouraging. Not sure how it’s that low though because, although my arms and legs are pretty solid, my stomach is still pretty fleshy. But ill take it & I know I have made a lot of progress. I just need to chill out and enjoy where Im at. Being ultra thin is not the end all be all.

Ive been having to pay close attention to how im feeling throughout the day for my counselors assignment and its been interesting. First of all i cant believe how often i feel unwell and tired and how rarely i feel hungry. Secondly, i didnt realize how much happier I am around ppl. I always think of myself as such an introvert. My girls lift my spirits (when they’re not driving me crazy).

Tomorrow We’re taking sweetpea to Tucson for her bday for the weekend. It’s a surprise and it should be a lot of fun. With her difficult social situation this year she wasn’t really sure what she wanted to do for her bday (sweet 16) so we’re taking her to a resort this weekend and invited one of her best friends. Im giving her a painting of two dancers by my grandmother who was a successful artist. It used to hang in my room when i was a child and id stare at it for hours. She’s been asking for it for years now so I know she’ll be thrilled.

Oh Im listening to a great book on audible called Body Positive Power. Really helping with the body image stuff. Highly recommend it. 💜

Break: oatmeal w/ fruit, 2 veggie sausages
Lunch: 1/2 bran muffin, latte
Dinner: handful of crackers w hummus, couple bites of pizza , 1/2 glass wine
Dessert: small ramekin of chocolate

Exercise: push ups, sit ups, squats plus 30 min walk
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Fri May 03, 2019 1:45 pm

Secondly, i didnt realize how much happier I am around ppl. I always think of myself as such an introvert. My girls lift my spirits (when they’re not driving me crazy).
This sounds like a really important recognition point that will make a big difference going forward for you!
It used to hang in my room when i was a child and id stare at it for hours. She’s been asking for it for years now so I know she’ll be thrilled.
I love this!!! Where has the painting been until now....?
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Sat May 04, 2019 7:32 pm

What a lovely idea for a gift! I’m sure sweetpea will love it. Have a great time in Tucson!

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Mon May 06, 2019 5:04 am

Thanks auto! The painting is in our living room but ive got some else to replace it with.

Thx Octavia! 💜

We had an absolutely amazing weekend. I never realized how cool Tucson is. Maybe we can retire there one day. Everything was just perfect and sweetpea was so excited. It really made my heart full to see how happy she was. Also, the girls went off on their own quite a bit so doc and i got some nice bonding time which was a nice plus.


So tired. Will catch up on everyone’s threads tomorrow.

Breakfast: poached eggs, ww toast, fruit
Lunch: yogurt parfait , starburst
Dinner : sw baked potato
Dessert: 3 power balls
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Mon May 06, 2019 3:55 pm

Glad to hear it! Those years of having children at home are fleeting! I am keenly aware of that fact today because we will see our married daughter twice this month but last saw her at Thanksgiving.
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by oolala53 » Tue May 07, 2019 5:49 am

Thanks for wishing me well. I'm confident I'll feel a lot better tomorrow. I'm slightly enjoying having the excuse to loll.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed May 08, 2019 1:56 am

Linda - so awesome about the great trip to Tucson! And I know you mentioned you and doc bonding, but it made me think about how sweet it is that your girls enjoyed hanging out together!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed May 08, 2019 5:55 am

Kathleen: I know empty nest syndrome will hit me hard. My girls are my world right now.

Oolala: the best part about being sick is being able to lay on the couch all day guilt free. ☺️

Auto: the girls really are becoming more like friends each day. Sweetpea even gave Rosebud concert tickets for the two of them for her bday.

Yesterday was Rosebud’s bday and I made her favorite dinner for her (portobello mushroom burgers w kimchi. Today is my bday & was really nice but i ate way too much. I was overwhelmed by how many happy bday texts i got from ppl. 3 years ago i was always complaining about my lack of social life. My how things can change. Tomorrow is Tessa’s bday and I still haven’t gotten her a gift. (Our dog).

Break: yogurt, berries, toast
Lunch: salad, chai
Dinner: Chinese food, cocktails
Dessert: 4 yogurt bars
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed May 08, 2019 12:49 pm

Happy Birthday Linda! The Belle of the Ball. :-)

Holy Cow! So all three of you (plus 1 dog) have birthdays in the first couple weeks of May? That is astounding and must make for some wild times!

If you tell me Doc's birthday is next week I'll fall out of my chair.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu May 09, 2019 4:00 pm

I know, it’s a crazy month. Tikkas (other dog) bday is 4/26, rosebud 5/6, mine 5/7, tessa 5/8 and sweetpea is 5/9. Then there’s Mother’s Day of course. Doc’s isn’t till 7/5 so we get a little break there but May is busy and expensive for sure. A lot of fun though!

Things are going well. The problem is if Im not focusing on weight loss, what do I do with all that time & mental energy. Im also struggling with being a but larger. But if im eating nutritious food and exercising regularly, how can my body size be wrong? Im realizing we’re not all meant to be a size 4 and thats really not a bad thing.

Im listening to Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe and its amazing. Love her so much!

More later, time to workout!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by oolala53 » Fri May 10, 2019 3:43 am

Well, the birthdays will be out of the way soon, too. Maybe that's better than having to face them more often throughout the year. And there are some spans where every other year where one of them falls on an S day anyway.

It can be shocking how little food it can take to sustain us.

I'm no scientist but I think most people can't expect to be smaller than they were at the end of high school IF they were pretty active and eating mostly nutritious foods mostly at meals. In other words, what they would have been if they had been raised in a slim culture. And it may be asking a lot to get back to that, if one left it; those cultures don't tend to gain a lot over the years, so there's no having to go into deficit to lose the extra. I weigh less than I did in high school, which I did not expect when I started and didn't come about until years and years in. I wasn't a slug, but I should have been more active and certainly should have done less snacking and a lot less sweet eating. But it's taken some doing getting here and it was not for the weight loss. I didn't expect it. It's tricky stuff. (I admit that now that I'm here, I am willing to be a little vigilant to stay here. I know it's in my best overall interest to eat to sustain it, at least so far.)
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 69
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by ladybird30 » Fri May 10, 2019 4:51 am

lpearlmom wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 5:55 am
I was overwhelmed by how many happy bday texts i got from ppl. 3 years ago i was always complaining about my lack of social life. My how things can change.
So happy for you LInda. And many happy returns as well.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Fri May 10, 2019 3:09 pm

Thank you lady!! ☺️

Oolala: thanks for stopping by but little confused by your post. Are you telling me i should fight harder to stay in a smaller body or not to worry about not being at my hs weight or none of the above? Maybe you could clarify? Thx!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Dandelion » Fri May 10, 2019 9:27 pm

Can I stick my oar in on the HS weight thing? Oh, wait. I already have. I gained roughly 10 pounds right after high school. It was common then to call that the 'Freshman 10" . What they don't say is that women are not necessarily at their full adult body size/weight until they reach that age, so that last bit of weight may be biological and not lifestyle. In my case at least, I believe it was biology - I gained that weight in spite of living/eating at home, having two jobs, cheerleading and playing tennis. When I finally realized this was biology and gave up on the idea that I 'had' to reach HS weight, I found maintaining was effortless and I stayed within a few pounds of that weight (the equivalent of a size 5/6) well into my 40s.

Now that I've passed 60, I'm not interested going even that low anymore. In my family the thin die young, while those with a bit of a cushion go on and on. It's not a guarantee, but it the research I read seems to support it.
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Dandelion » Fri May 10, 2019 9:35 pm

lpearlmom wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 5:55 am
Kathleen: I know empty nest syndrome will hit me hard. My girls are my world right now.
I'm butting in again - but this hit home for me. I don't even know how to put into words how hard this has been for me. I start to type something - and delete it. After 39 years I do not have a child at home. I still have days when I don't know what the point of me is.
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sat May 11, 2019 6:12 am

Feel free to butt in Dandy! That makes a lot of sense about the post HS weight gain. So much of weight gain is part of our normal development. When we freak out about it and try to diet it away, thats when trouble starts. When i was 10, I got a little chubby and my parents put me on a diet which started a lifelong habit yo-yo dieting and self-loathimg. When my daughter turned 10 she got a little chubby. I didn’t say a word and two years later she was tall & lean. She’s never once said a negative word about her body.

In college i was about 10 lbs lighter than in HS but I was extremely unhealthy. Too much partying. Too much restricting. I don't even want to be my college or HS weight anymore. I just don't care about losing weight right now. Really I just want to get to the point where food and weight are just a non-issue for me. I used to think that would happen when I got to a certain weight but now I know better. It’s a mindset. I just want to get on with my life. Certainly there must be more interesting things to focus on.

PS Sorry about the empty nest syndrome Dandy. Maybe we should form a support group.
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sat May 11, 2019 2:16 pm

I like calling her Dandy. That is so cute. :-) And I appreciated her "butt-ins" too. :-)
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Dandelion » Mon May 13, 2019 3:05 am

Well, thank you :) I just wish I felt 'dandy'.

between my three kids and the kids I taught each year for the last however many years, I always noticed that kids usually put the weight on before a growth spurt. Right now my teenager seems thin - but I also have to look up a bit more to look in his eyes :)

I want so badly to stop thinking of my weight all.the.time. I am freakin' 60 years old - which means this has been going on nearly half a century. What a lot of wasted life.
'I do think the way to a full and healthy life is to adopt the sensible system of small helpings, no seconds, no snacking, and a little bit of everything. Above all, have a good time.' Julia Child

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Octavia
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Tue May 14, 2019 8:17 am

lpearlmom wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 6:12 am
I just don't care about losing weight right now. Really I just want to get to the point where food and weight are just a non-issue for me. I used to think that would happen when I got to a certain weight but now I know better. It’s a mindset. I just want to get on with my life. Certainly there must be more interesting things to focus on.
...this reminds me of an affirmation I’ve been using recently, to stop me worrying about things. Rather than saying ‘it’s fine, nothing to worry about...’ , I say ‘it’s not that interesting.’ I find this is more powerful. I’ve been wondering why I spend so much time engrossed in my problems...I write journals addictively and never quite feel settled enough to go out into the world and pursue positive interests...my dad always used to say ‘turn your thoughts outwards’, and I definitely need to follow his advice! like Dandy, I’m feeling that I’ve been wrapped up in negative issues like weight for too long.

Hope your day goes well, Linda. :)

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by clarinetgal » Mon May 27, 2019 5:54 pm

I’m just popping by to say hello!✋🏻 I hear you, about wanting to get to a point where I don’t think about food and weight all of the time.
Committing to a fresh start, with 3-4 plates and no snacking.

1/2018 Current BMI: 31.8
2/2018 BMI: 31.5
4/1/2018 BMI 31.5

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 02, 2019 4:11 pm

Thanks for stopping by Dandy, octavia and heather! Im hoping we can all find peace with our bodies and food.

I actually feel like im making progress but still have a lot of work to do. Im still seeing my dietician but not totally sure how i feel about her. I dont know if its just me being oversensitive or what but I feel some judgement from her about my food choices and amounts. What i really think is that she’s still struggling with this stuff personally. I do like her though and it’s nice to have someone to talk to. I also think it’s important i have someone who can balance out my tendency to extremism.

Im basically doing Intuitive Eating but it’s not a free for all nor is it about following strict rules of eating only when hungry and stopping only when full. There’s a lot of gray areas which are harder to navigate in the beginning but ultimately more satisfying in the end imo. My counselor pointed out that many ppl (me for sure) will rebel against any dietary rules no matter how reasonable. I think this is why nos ultimately did not work for me.

(Ack, gotta make kids breakfast. More later!)
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Sun Jun 02, 2019 4:40 pm

Glad to get an update! We learn from each other. I do suspect most counselors have had eating issues themselves just as the authors of Intuitive Eating — and NoS — have!
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:30 pm

LOL - I have a dear friend that is a dietician and even she often jokes about how black and white and OCD they tend to be. It's like perfectionists on steroids. So I wouldn't be surprised if you get that sort of vibe from a dietician, even though their perfectionism demands that they keep their judgements under sweet smiles.

Oh, dear. That didn't sound flattering, did it? But they are just humans like all of us, struggling as we all struggle. And so many shared struggles. My friend would do anything for me. Very loyal.
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8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 02, 2019 7:20 pm

Hi Kathleen & auto!

No, its not unflattering it’s just the truth auto. My counselor used to have a binge disorder and, if you listen to Food Pysch podcast, they often talk about how it’s very common for ppl with food/body issues to be attracted to nutrition type careers. Hopefully they can work through them and help ppl even more with the firsthand knowledge but Im sure not all get there.

Anyway, we will see how it goes. Im listening to the IE book and it’s helping so much. I also ordered the workbook so that should help as well. Im learning to accept my body the way it is and havent weighed in a few weeks (freedom!) . Im pretty sure I gained a few pounds in the beginning but things have seemed to have plateaued so im okay with it. I really just never want to be at that obsessive level I was before. No thanks!

I also started biking again and that feels really good. I even have this fantasy of doing a century ride but we shall see. Doc and I did 19 miles yesterday—woot! Im going to need a new bike eventually as my mountain bike is just so dang heavy.

Girls are doing good. Rosebud graduated from 8th grade with a special award for getting straight As in all honors classes for 3 years in a row! She just got back from DC with a class trip and had a lot of fun. Sweetpea has decided to stay at her school after i took her to tour the local High school. Things also just have gotten a lot better at her current school and i think shell be just fine.

We have a busy summer planned with 2 weeks on the oregon coast and then the girls will go to camp in California for another 2 weeks. We’re also going to tuscon for a weekend and the girls will have their first weekend alone at home. 😱

Okay hope all is well with everyone. 💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 16, 2019 8:14 pm

Omg, omg I suck at Intuitive eating. Back to NoS because that’s the only time I’ve felt sane with food. My Mods will be fruit okay between meals and no grazing on the weekends.

I can tell I’m gaining weight even though I’m not weighing. I don’t even care about losing weight but just want to stop the weight gain. I cannot go back to 210 lbs & I think I’m headed in that direction.

Why do I have to make everything so hard?? 🤦🏼‍♀️
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Sun Jun 16, 2019 9:35 pm

lpearlmom,
I feel for you. I tried IE and found that my stomach would growl around food! I felt like I was starving all the time even though my kids nicknamed that diet The Peanut Cluster Diet because I was eating lots of peanut clusters! NoS really is a mild form of IF since you fast between dinner and breakfast.
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sun Jun 16, 2019 11:29 pm

Hi Linda! So so so lovely to see you on the boards!

It has been a weird spring for so many of us. I have been eating everything in my house that has any amount of sugar in it. Stop the insanity.... :roll:

Anyway, we are here. Breathing. And posting cute emojis. I'm reading this book about this little 6 year old girl that started adding in emojis when she talked, such as "Hope you're happy now, Smiley Face!" :lol:
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Thisisnotabadidea- » Mon Jun 17, 2019 12:44 am

Even though I'm much younger than you(Probably closer to your daughters, As I'm nearly 22) looking back over your thread I truly relate to what you're going through and have similar issues myself. Lately I've found myself rebelling against any food restrictions even sane ones like no s, intuitive eating kind of works as long as I don't go off the rails and "allow" myself to overeat everyday so I have to reign it in. I keep inexplicably gaining even when I'm eating decent which then causes me to say "f it!" :roll: I'm very tired of it all and just want to give up

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Candace » Mon Jun 17, 2019 1:22 pm

Just here to join the cheering section. Hello lperlmom! New to the boards. Mature female, so we may have some things in common, specifically that metabolism slowdown that happens as we age. I feel ya. Keep up the good work! We're here because we care about our health, right? If we didn't care, we wouldn't be here. Cheers to you.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jun 19, 2019 2:51 pm

Thanks for all the support.

Kathleen: that’s funny. I admire those ppl that can learn to do IE
but so many ppl gain excessively. It’s just too hard for most ppl to accept themselves at a higher weight in this society.

Auto: It’s so nice to know that you guys are here plugging away. It’s funny but during my higher than normal food intake with IE, I pretty much had no desire to drink alcohol or my favorite coffee like drinks. The food definitely fulfilled whatever that was filling before so maybe that’s where your intense sugar cravings come in? Or could it be from restricting carbs? Either way I’m certain it’ll pass. You’re doing so great. Hang in there & thanks for putting up with all my craziness!

Thisis: I feel for you. Been there for sure. I think we have to come up with our own plan or variation on NoS or we will eventually rebel. I also think that I have to recognize those times when I’m just done with following and give myself a week or two off. Make your plan one you’re excited about and seems easy to follow. Anyway that’s what I’m going to try. I’ll see how it goes.

Candace: thanks for the support. I wish I could say I was here for my health but I’ve always struggled with my weight. If I’m honest it’s really about feeling acceptable & attractive. But NoS specifically is about feeling sane around food. That’s why I always come back. Other diets make me feel crazy around food. Good luck on your nos journey!

I wish we lived in a society that was more accepting of a variety of shapes. Thin privilege is as real as white privilege but I’m just not strong enough to defy that norm with my own body. I’m also no longer willing to do anything crazy to attain it either. No more fasting for 20-45 hrs.

NoS is sane and although I know it’ll never make me super thin, it’ll help me from getting super fat again. I just don’t want to go there again. I’m so relieved that I caught myself in time. I saw pics of myself and although I’m definitely chubby, I look decent and acceptable. My clothes are tighter but they still fit. There’s still hope. If I had to take a guess on my weight, I’d say I’m probably about 172 lbs.

We are camping along the Oregon coast right now so I’m doing NoS vacation mode which means a mid afternoon snack plus a small dessert are allowed. We are being so active that im not super worried about my food intake right now.

The weather is just beautiful and we’ve been hiking and biking every day. The girls are getting along really well and everyone is helping out. Can I just stay here forever? Well we’ve still got 9 more days and I plan on enjoying every minute of it. Time for breakfast!

Here’s yesterday:
Breakfast: small bowl of cereal, small serving of scrambled eggs
Snack: handful of trail mix
Lunch; cheese and crackers, grapes , wine
Dinner: 3 veggie tacos, chips & salsa
Dessert: 1 s’more

Exercise: 2 hr hike
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:00 pm

Where on you on the Oregon coast? I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself and really sounding relaxed!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jun 19, 2019 7:22 pm

Thank you auto!! We are currently at Harris State Beach and will next go to Gold Beach then Carter Lake and lastly Seal Rocks. I don’t know why we didn’t reserve any campsites further up but maybe next time. It’s so dang beautiful here. And the weather... 💜💜💜💜
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:35 pm

The area you are in is much less crowded. By the time people get to Cannon Beach, it's a total people crush. So I think your plan is perfect. Plus there's more rain and wind as you go north.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:16 am

Oh yay! I’m glad we went with this plan then. After 21 hrs of driving, I just didn’t want to have to drive too far into Oregon.

Had a fun day hiking then back at the campsite for dinner and relaxing. Had a little scare as our dog apparently got out at home but everyone is home safe & sound now.

Breakfast: bagel sandwich, small chai
Lunch: granola bar, nectarine, slice of cheese
Dinner: 2 veggie chili dogs, baked potato, wine
Dessert; piece of chocolate

Exercise: 1.5 hrs hiking
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:29 pm

What a beautiful state! I visited Anne last year and last month in Oregon. Enjoy your time with your children!
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Candace » Thu Jun 20, 2019 4:01 pm

Hey! Just wanted to check in and say yes, I would love to think I'm here purely for health, but who am I kidding? :P Vanity is a big part of wanting to be at a certain weight. Better health can be a nice side benefit.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Octavia » Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:51 am

Hi Linda - hope you are well. Haven’t checked in for a while as I’ve explained on my thread - have had some ‘stuff’ to work through...but have been looking forward to getting back to the forum and seeing how everyone is. I think I feel the same as you about No S - it won’t get me super-slim but it will prevent me getting super-fat. Which, if you consider the rest of the dieting (or non-dieting!) population out there, is quite a miracle.

I’m like Candace, here for vanity as much as health....though actually, I think vanity is part of health. Look at our beloved pets - we know they’re ill when they stop grooming themselves! :)

Glad to hear that all was well with your dog, btw.

x

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jun 26, 2019 2:55 pm

Octavia wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:51 am
Look at our beloved pets - we know they’re ill when they stop grooming themselves! :)
What a perfect insight!
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:06 pm

Candace: for sure!

Kathleen: It really is beautiful. I’d move her in a heartbeat. I’m kinda hoping one of my girls will want to go to college here. 😊

Octavia: We’ve misses you. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been going through. Please be kind to yourself and allow plenty of time for healing.

Well we are still here and enjoying our trip although I’m ready to go home. Living in cramped quarters for 9 days is challenging at times. I also keep hurting myself. I fell against the corner of a picnic table and then I fell off the camper the other day when it was on the high risers. (We have to get it up high right before getting it in the truck so doc can drive under it.). I’m only bruised and scraped although doc says he thinks I may have broken a rib too.

We’ve also had a bit of car trouble—flat tire, broken rim, unbalanced tires and an essential part on our camper broke. We’ve gotten it all taken care of though with relative ease. Just annoying more than anything else. The girls had a grumpy day with intense fighting but everyone seems to have recovered from that. Oh and I lost a crown yesterday when eating some salt water taffy.

Sounds like a fun trip, right?? Actually despite all that we’ve really had a great time walking the beaches, hiking on gorgeous trails and exploring the little coastal towns. Yesterday we spent the day in the aquarium then had Thai food at a nearby bay front. We came back to the campsite for reading and card playing. Rosebud has read 3 books since the trips started—yay!

Anyway, going to enjoy our last couple of days but looking forward to going home to my bathtub, washing machine and actual drawers. I’m not really sticking to any kind of plan right now but will get back to it Monday.

Yesterday:
Breakfast: breakfast sandwich, 1/2 scone, chai
Lunch/dinner: Thai food
Dessert: taffy (bad idea)

Exercise; lots of walking
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:10 pm

omg your rib!!!! Yikes. Hope that heals well.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Thu Jun 27, 2019 4:38 am

Thank you auto! Ugh I’m so ready to go home. Everyone fought today and I’m just done living in this tiny space together. Rosebud is being especially difficult. I swear I think I’ve just spoiled her too much. She’s acting very selfish and entitled. I have a feeling the next few years are going to be tough with her. *sigh*. I told doc, the next vacation is just with us.

Been eating a lot of heavy food but have been exercising more too so have no idea where my weight is. I think I might weigh myself when I get home although I’m nervous.

Break: 2 bowls of cereal with fruit
Lunch/dinner: grilled cheese, tomato soup, couple cheese samples (went to Tillamook factory).
Dessert; cone of strawberry ice cream, chai

Exercise: lots of walking
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Thu Jun 27, 2019 9:26 pm

Linda,
The world revolves around students. Everything is geared towards pleasing them and making them look good. It can be a real shock to join the work world. The older they get, the less you can direct them. All you can do is say, "It is our money, and we won't finance that." I actually find it very freeing that the oldest is now 18. They are all adults! With regard to weight management, all I can do is model behavior that I would hope they might emulate if they see good results. That is it.
Kathleen

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Fri Jun 28, 2019 12:56 am

Thank you Kathleen! I so appreciate your good mommy advice. We were all just done with being a small space for so long yesterday and things got tense. We are on our way home with one stop in California where we will stay in a hotel. Everyone seems in a much better mood and I even decided to spend the extra money to get a separate room for the girls. I feel like it’ll be money well spent as we’re ready for some space.

I know, it’s probably too late to change my youngest. She can be very sweet but she definitely acts a little entitled. I think maybe I did too much for her and gave her too much praise. I guess I thought my generosity towards her would in turn teach her to be generous to others. Oh well. There’s not much I can do but she’ll have some hard lessons ahead of her I’m afraid. I do think not paying for stuff when I don’t like her behavior will help as she’s very into her image. On the other hand, sweetpea is very generous and compassionate. So who knows.

The one thing I did do right is teach them to listen to their bodies & to enjoy a variety of foods. They are both healthy sizes and do a beautiful job of eating intuitively. At least I did one thing right! 😊 ugh, parenting is tough.

Break: breakfast burrito, 1/2 scone, chai
Lunch: cheese curds and sun chips
Dinner: 1 burrito, 1 tostada (Taco Bell)
Dessert: 2 peppermint patties

Ugh this road food is killing me. Can’t wait to get back to home cooking!
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Fri Jun 28, 2019 12:38 pm

Parenting is TOUGH - Aint that the truth?!!?

You know, our oldest is very intense, focused, and ... well, not exactly empathetic or thinking of others. Our youngest is always saying thank you, willing to help, etc. Interestingly, it's my younger one that is so into art etc (like your Sweetpea) - and my older one that is into medicine ideas (like your Rosebud's vet stuff). Switcheroo. :-) Birth order is not everything, I guess!

My husband and I are convinced that so much of who they are is... just who they are, ya know?
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
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Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Kathleen » Fri Jun 28, 2019 3:46 pm

Linda,
The youngest probably just needs to mature! Wait until she has to earn her own money! That helped our kids to grow up. I am quite delighted with the difference in personality from 18 to 25 in our oldest daughter. We had so much fun visiting her in Oregon in May. You can look forward to the day they look back and appreciate what you did for them. My Mom and I sometimes get into discussions about our son who is living at home, working in an entry-level professional job, and doing very little around the house but is pleasant. I have told her many times that I look back and remember how I treated them -- how could they stand me? He is way better than I was -- that's for sure! When I remind her of some specific instances of how I acted as a teen and young adult, she remembers and we laugh about it.
Kathleen

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lpearlmom
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Location: Arizona

Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sat Jun 29, 2019 3:10 am

Auto: yup, I’d say they are very similar and Rosebud definitely has a more typical kind of older sister personality. I partly think that’s my fault. I was so afraid of having the same dynamics between them as my sister and I that I did everything I could to discourage the normal older/younger siblings dynamics or maybe you’re right and she was pretty much just going to be who she is no matter what.


Yeah for sure Kathleen! It is a nice thought that we can have a different type of relationship in the future. Rosebud was much easier today. I think she’s excited to be back with her puppies and own bed. She did start to complain about her Dad (boy is she hard on him) and I said “welp, he’s the only Dad you’ve got and he loves you”. Surprisingly, she seem to soften a bit around him today. I’m sure she’ll appreciate what loving, supportive parents we’ve been one day.

Weirdly I was a really easy teenager and mom always talks about how I never gave her an ounce of trouble. I think it’s because I didn’t want to add to her already piling burdens. Maybe that makes me less equipped to deal with my normal teens though.

We are still driving home and have a couple hours to go. The hotel room in Bishop was heavenly. I took the longest shower and had the best sleep ever. Sweetpea said she’s going to miss sleeping all together though. (Told you she was sweet).

Break: scrambled eggs, 1/2 bagel, banana, chai
Lunch: 1/2 veggie sandwich
Dinner: few bites of artichoke dip, couple raviolis, small piece of pizza, salad, a couple French fries.

Ugh, dinner was so gross. Very low quality and everything was just drowning in cheese. No more road food please!

I looked at myself in the mirror and think I’ve gained even more weight than I thought. Maybe 180s 😱. I’m actually not freaking out that much because the rebound had to happen. Just took much restriction. I just wish I woulda been happy with 160 instead of comparing myself to everyone else. Also, I’ve been following a lot of fat positive ppl on instagram and and able to appreciate beauty in all sizes. Being a little chubby isn’t the worse thing in the world.

EDIT: My weight is 173.6 lbs which means I pretty much regained all the weight I lost on fasting. Thats what i get for doing something extreme i guess. Hopefully I didn’t mess up my metabolism too much. Ppl that think fat ppl are just lazy and undisciplined really piss me off. Ive done so much to try to get the weight off but my body is just like nope. *sigh*
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

automatedeating
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Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2013 2:16 pm

Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by automatedeating » Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:08 pm

You are beautiful, Linda. I have seen pictures of you and you are hot. Like seriously hot.

And I know you didn't specifically mention me about comparing weights, but I am barely 5'2'' (I think honestly I am only 5'1'' now), and here's a bad thing about my weight loss - when I used to weigh this (before babies) I was a B cup. Now? Sag city! I am only an A cup, and a saggy one at that! I saw myself in a picture from the weekend when I was thinking I looked all that and I was like omg I'm buying a push-up bra. Got home from the trip and ordered 3 off Amazon. :mrgreen:

So excellent to get home from a long trip, especially camping!!!!! And Rosebud misses her puppies!!! I remember at her age being totally antsy to get home to my dogs. And about Sweetpea liking sleeping all together - Creator says the same thing! And me too - sleeping all in one room is my favorite cozy thing about vacations.
Month/Year-BMI
8/13-26.3
8/14-24.5
5/15-26.2
1/16-26.9; 9/16-25.6
8/17-25.8; 11/17-26.9
3/18-25.6; 8/18-24.5; 10/18-23.8;
3/19-22.1; 10/19-21.8
6/20-22.5; 7/20-23.0; 9/20-23.6
4/21 - 25.2

Candace
Posts: 207
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2019 10:27 pm

Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by Candace » Sat Jun 29, 2019 10:01 pm

automatedeating wrote:
Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:08 pm
{snip}
... here's a bad thing about my weight loss - when I used to weigh this (before babies) I was a B cup. Now? Sag city! I am only an A cup, and a saggy one at that! I saw myself in a picture from the weekend when I was thinking I looked all that and I was like omg I'm buying a push-up bra. Got home from the trip and ordered 3 off Amazon. :mrgreen:

{snip}
Hahahahaha! Sooooo true to life!! Arggh! A good bra does wonders. A bad one... makes me want to run screaming straight to the store to get them puppies up there. But here's the thing: now that they've gone south a bunch, even a push-up bra doesn't get 'em back to where I'd like 'em. There's only so much hoisting a non-superhero bra can do for a slightly chesty person, before the strap in the back rides up, or the shoulder straps start to cut into the shoulders, etc. However, there is a world of difference the right bra can make. Hooray for those.
53 year old female. Height 5' 5.5". Goal: 145 lb. Stretch goal: 140 lb.
Weight 6/14/2019: 155 lb.
8/3/2019: 151 lb.
8/24/2019: 149 lb.

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lpearlmom
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Location: Arizona

Re: Linda's daily check-in

Post by lpearlmom » Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:20 am

Auto: you are so kind. Thank you for the compliments. I really didn't mean for you to tear yourself down just to make me feel better but i do appreciate you keeping it real. I imagine you look pretty great, push up bra or not. ;). Its true though the boobs are back in full force for sure. 😁

Im just so tired of it all. Tired of caring about my weight, tired of trying not to care and everything in between. I think im realizing its my body and i get to decide whats best for it. Not my sister or oprah or dr fung. Not the fat activists, not the fat phobic jerks. Just me.

Anyway I did come up with a plan but Im not sharing because as soon as i do that, i want to rebel against it for some reason.

I just want to be a regular, normal size again. Not fat, not skinny, just where ppl look at me and dont think about my weight one way or another. I guess i was there at about 155-160lbs. No reason i cant get there again. Maybe. Maybe not. Going to love my body as it is now either way cuz lifes too short and all that.

Took my mom out for her bday dinner and gave her a cruise as a gift. Shes beyond excited and im so happy we could do this for her.

DH and I are in a weird place. Too much togetherness maybe. I just really get tired of him treating me like a child. He scolds me when i mess up. When he messes up, like when he drove off with his favorite thermos on his bumper , I tell him how much that sucks and surprise him with a new one. Sigh. I love him but ready for him to go back to work. Actually we have to drive the girls to camp in California this weekend and im thinking of just driving them myself for a little me time.

Break: ww avocado toast, 1 egg
Lunch: fruit, and raw veggies
Dinner: lots of shared vegetarian dishes family style , 2 glasses wine
Dessert: shared 2 desserts
:twisted: SW: 210 lbs
CW: 172
GW:160

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