New and White Knuckling It

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:53 pm

Well, I was very reluctant to post because I thought the No S diet would be something else I'd try and abandon. But, then I thought "What if it isn't?" I didn't want to miss out on the advice and support I've seen here.

So, today is my first non S day. I can already see I'm going to need more lunch because I'm starving. Just got home from work and have dinner on the brain. I never realized how much I snack in the course of a day. Talk about eye opening.

I've reached a point where I'm just so burnt out on counting calories, carbs, points, etc. I had a lap band placed in 2006 (and another in 2007 after having a slipped band) and the first 70 pounds weren't too hard to lose. I'm up to 106 pounds lost and each pound since has been due to my own blood, sweat and tears. I don't keep a tight fill and can eat a LOT! I can gain really well, too. I'm just mentally tired.

My goal is to lose about 35 pounds initially to put my BMI in the overweight category. Not a lofty goal, true, but my doc says that virtually all obesity related risk is diminished by getting the BMI under 30 and while he'd like me to get under 25, he'll be happy with that. Once I get this 35 off, I can probably focus on doing the last 30 or so off. But I'm taking it in bite sized chunks.

I didn't mean to be so long winded. Sorry! I'm off to make dinner!

Laura

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:53 pm

For many of us, lunch to dinner is the worst stretch. It'll get better, but it can be very hard if you are prepping dinner. Good luck. Hold on tight!

ellgee wrote:Well, I was very reluctant to post because I thought the No S diet would be something else I'd try and abandon. But, then I thought "What if it isn't?" I didn't want to miss out on the advice and support I've seen here.

So, today is my first non S day. I can already see I'm going to need more lunch because I'm starving. Just got home from work and have dinner on the brain. I never realized how much I snack in the course of a day. Talk about eye opening.

I've reached a point where I'm just so burnt out on counting calories, carbs, points, etc. I had a lap band placed in 2006 (and another in 2007 after having a slipped band) and the first 70 pounds weren't too hard to lose. I'm up to 106 pounds lost and each pound since has been due to my own blood, sweat and tears. I don't keep a tight fill and can eat a LOT! I can gain really well, too. I'm just mentally tired.

My goal is to lose about 35 pounds initially to put my BMI in the overweight category. Not a lofty goal, true, but my doc says that virtually all obesity related risk is diminished by getting the BMI under 30 and while he'd like me to get under 25, he'll be happy with that. Once I get this 35 off, I can probably focus on doing the last 30 or so off. But I'm taking it in bite sized chunks. :)

I didn't mean to be so long winded. Sorry! I'm off to make dinner!

Laura

ruxpin55 · Post by **ruxpin55** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:04 am

Lauren,

Glad you are here. I am also a newbie too. And, I also feel the same way you do, "is this just going to be another thing that fails?" But the fact that you have come on here and talked, I think this is good evidence to say you are serious and you need the added support.. I do too! So keep your chin up! I know it will get better! I have been going a little less than a week and today was tough, but I have to keep reminding myself (and a sweet husband has been reminding me) that it's just one more day to getting to the goal... you will make it, you just have to take a deep breath and one step at a time. the worst part of my day today was at 5:55 I looked at the clock and the very last bite on my plate and I was saddened because this was the last bit I will have in about 14 hours... i felt crushed, I still feel really sad about it --- how sad is that? but I am feeling better, having gotten past a couple hours now... and I will feel so good when I get a good nights' sleep. I think our biggest enemy is ourselves, and you just need to put yourself in your place so to speak.. you can handle one day/ one hour at a time! you will beat this!!
thinking of you

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:59 am

Kevin - I did prep dinner and made it through. Barely! But I did it and am sliding into a GREEN day. I'm glad it gets better because today was rough.

Jamie - Your words are so kind and encouraging. Thank you, thank you. I totally know what you mean about that last bite! I was starting to feel full but I just had to finish my plate. I needed those last bites. Hopefully leaving food will get easier in time. One day, one hour you are so right!!!

Laura

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:39 am

Why are we talking about leaving food? You get to eat all the food on your plate.

Remember that you can have beverages between meals.

I ate after dinner for YEARS! Now it's normal not to. I'm content. I never got hungry, anyway. It was always just habit.

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:49 am

For me, the leaving food comes in to play because I also need to learn when enough is enough. Continuing to eat past full isn't a habit I want to continue. But for now, it's enough to work on the sweets, snacks and seconds.

Much of my snacking is completely habit driven and definitely not hunger driven. But not having it is like missing a friend. One I saw every day at 10:00 am and 3:00 pm and 9:00 pm!

Laura

audiomama · Post by **audiomama** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:57 am

Remember, if you're starving you can have some liquid calories. A late afternoon milk or juice was critical to my early success while I experimented with meal portions. (Hint, a smaller lunch actually made me less hungry later.) Good luck!
(40 lbs down from my start 12mo ago)

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:09 am

I'm definitely going to remember the liquid calories. It would have helped a lot! Too bad I can't have a glass of wine at work. Sure would destress my day!

See, today my lunch was small and I got really hungry!! It may depend on what I eat too.

Thanks for the advice. I'm taking drinks to work tomorrow just in case.

Laura

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:37 pm

ellgee wrote: It may depend on what I eat too.

Absolutely! A balance of carbs/protein and a little fat in every meal helps you "last longer" because they digest at different rates. Experiment to find the balance that works best for you - people are different on that.

One reason that No-S works is that, though you technically could eat a plate full of junk, you won't want to do that often because of how you feel later... like, hungry too early.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:14 pm

oolala53 wrote:Why are we talking about leaving food? You get to eat all the food on your plate.

I have a bad habit of continuing to eat if there's still food on my plate, regardless of whether I'm full or not. I'm trying to train myself not to do that.

Obviously, I think it's a good idea to train yourself not to keep eating when you're not hungry, but I don't think it's a good idea to do it when you're still starting No S. You'll have some very full plates at first, and lick them for every crumb. That's normal and OK.

Once your basic No S habits are established, then you can work on secondary things like plate-stuffing. If you try to fix everything you do wrong right away, you'll be playing whack-a-mole, and you'll get overwhelmed. Work on a few bad habits at a time.

Remember, you don't have to have perfect eating habits to lose weight. You just need to have better habits than what you had before (unless you were rapidly gaining weight before). It's kind of like the joke about the two guys who see a bear. One of them runs as fast as he can, and the other says, "you're crazy, you can't outrun a bear." The first one says, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

ruxpin55 wrote:the worst part of my day today was at 5:55 I looked at the clock and the very last bite on my plate and I was saddened because this was the last bit I will have in about 14 hours... i felt crushed, I still feel really sad about it --- how sad is that?

I've felt that way, too. I sometimes feel that way toward dinner time on Sunday (my days start at dinner time). My S days are over and now it's five days before I can snack, have sweets, or have as much as I want at meals again, poor me. At other times, I've felt resentful that my S days are over and I have to go back to N day eating patterns. This is getting better, but it's taking its own sweet time to do so. And the change isn't always for the better- if I'm stressed about something else, the negative feelings about N days sometimes come up worse than they've been for a while.

Remember, being hungry or having a food craving outside of mealtime, or wishing that an N day were an S day, or thinking something like "I wish I could still eat as much as I want, of whatever I want, whenever I want," or even thinking, "I hate No S," is not a failure. It's only a failure if you eat something you shouldn't, or eat when you shouldn't. There cannot be a failure that doesn't involve you eating something. You shouldn't worry too much about hunger, food cravings, or your feelings about not being able to eat more. Those are just thoughts, and they can't hurt you or make you gain weight unless you act on them.

You do have a choice of whether to act on thoughts and feelings like that or not. You may have been defaulting to acting on them until now, but that doesn't mean there aren't other choices available.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:33 pm

Probably repeating myself.

Just to reinforce: it is a good technique to leave food at some point, but it complicates things when you're first starting. The plate IS the limiting method IN THE BEGINNING. If you don't eat what you put on your plate, I think it makes it harder to learn what portions to serve yourself. You aren't going to cover your plate with food forever. If you do, you will have to either make a lot of your food veggies--not a bad idea-- or use smaller plates for sure. but either of those are fine, too.

By the way, I used to practice leaving food on my plate years ago. I still binged my way to 30 lbs. more than I weigh now.

Get the habits down first. Don't use weight loss as a measure of your success. If you are following the habits consistently --and I would say that includes after a time not stuffing yourself-- for a couple of months and not losing weight, then pay attention more to other mods. We have people here who've shifted to calorie counting, but not many. And they're still here because they still believe in the wisdom of a pre-set number of plated meals.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:49 pm

Congratulations on your start.

ruxpin55 · Post by **ruxpin55** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 3:51 pm

you are all so wise!

Nicest: I am glad to see I am not alone in my grieving over the loss of food.. makes me feel kind of pitiful! But I suppose this is what happens when we let things go (that had no right being there in the first place) And I really appreciate you telling me that you are no a failure if you don't act on something--- so so true, if only I can get that into my pea-brain!! (soon enough) but I really do think our worst enemy is that of ourselves. I totally psych myself out constantly (in many areas of life) and I feel crippled and it's as if an enemy has me right where he wants me and devours me, but I actually am the one who ends up devouring... :-/ crazy analogy, but these are things I am learning about me.

Ohlala53: good point on the leaving food. I am NOT one to try and leave food (although, on Saturday on an "S" day, I decided to eat seconds, (because my homemade Indian food was SO good) and I actually felt quite disgusted with myself for eating what I did, that it came to the last fork full and I had to push it aside, because I was overcome with the feeling of being full-- but that was a choice made on an "S" day,...) but I agree with how you said it's about filling the plate full for NOW, and then reducing the size will come after. I like the concept of not "thinking" about how much food I "can" eat... it's already there, and it needs to be satisfying, because that's what's for dinner(lunch/breakfast)

thanks LaurA (spelled your name wrong before-- sorry) but thanks for writing this. You can do it!

milliem · Post by **milliem** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:57 pm

I felt the same way last week! My first day of NoS I was STARVING and all I thought about was food....i think i dreamed about NoS for the first two nights as well!

I'm still getting used to it a week in, no failures yet but still eating large-ish portions and not really worrying about eating healthily

I definitely find that sipping some squash or milk or something helps keep the hunger at bay between meals or before bedtime...

Yesterday was the first day in 8 NoS days that I'd left some food on my plate

Not expecting that to happen a lot for a while!

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 4:59 pm

KCCC - I think I had the right mix for breakfast - some egg salad with a pita. I did eat breakfast a little late but it's lunchtime now and I am not hungry yet.

Nicest - how wise you are! You are right - I don't want to work on too many things at once and staying true to my no S is first on the list. And not to be misconstrued - I had a large and in charge dinner last night and ate every bite without guilt. I thought about stopping before I was done but chose not to do so.

Oolala - Definitely going to take this in baby steps and not try to do to much too soon. Reprogramming myself as to the weight loss is going to be difficult, though. I want to lose 35 pounds......yesterday! But every calorie, point, carb I've counted lead me to binge after a few weeks of the restriction. Epic failure!

BrightAngel - Thanks so much!!!

Jamie - You can do it, too! It's a whole new ball game for us and I'm glad we have all this support and wisdom and advice.

Thanks again to everyone! You have given me so much to think about!One interesting point - I've read where people with lap band grieve for food because they can't stuff themselves anymore. They have to find other substitutions for the void left by food. I NEVER felt like that. I was never so tight that I couldn't eat well. BUT yesterday, I did grieve for my snack times and felt a little anxious! After dinner actually started sorting through my yarn to start a knitting project.....because I didn't have food in my hands all night! Amazing!

Laura

ruxpin55 · Post by **ruxpin55** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 5:53 pm

Laura: it's all about replacement... I did this, now this is gone, what can I fill my time with during these times?.. (for me it's studying--reading-- devotionals) but for you, you are finding things that I am sure you have enjoyed a lot over the years, but didn't realize how you have been without it. Seems like you are making progress! (good job!) keep it up. hey, one more day closer to an S day

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:06 am

I haven't felt it lately, but I've talked other places on the board about feeling grief at the idea of not being able to overeat certain things. Never again eat several big big pieces of bakery sheet cake with heavy-duty frosting, including a huge rose? never again eat twelve ounces of Hershey's kisses over the course of a few hours (getting confessional here)? I won't get into the really weird stuff. Some fo you know what I mean.

All, all of these eventually succumb to habit, though they can rear up at times. Even if they're still there, what's the difference, if they stay in the depths? Eventually, they'll be mostly memories.

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:01 am

I can totally understand grieving for foods like that. I know these feelings will come. Often it wasn't even the taste of the foods after the first bites but the ritual. Eating the outside edges of the Reese's peanut butter cups or letting M&Ms melt almost completely before crunching the last of the shell. Oh yeah I totally get it. Buttercream roses and all.

But as you say, as long as they stay in the depths they can hang around. The trick will be to not let them surface enough to trigger a binge. And to eat like a normal person more and more. I have to admit I'm a little apprehensive about ny first S days. I don't want to go completely off the reservation.

Laura

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:02 am

Laura, you gotta give yourself a break. maybe you won't go off the res on your first S days, maybe you will. Being an idiot on your first (or sixth or even tenth) is not a reason to despair, IMHO. It doesn't mean you or No S is wrong. It just means you haven't figured it out. Just imagine that even if you go wild, you won't forever and some day it will be hilarious.

It's true that some people here, founder included, got it right away or almost right away. And others took longer. But who knows how many have slunk off because they haven't gotten S days right--yet? Don't be one of them.

I see one of the biggest mistakes of members on a binge-eaters board I'm on is thinking that they're going to get it all figured out in a few weeks and sail off into the sunset. When things get bumpy, they say, oh, this can't be right, or I'm a failure, or nothing will ever work, etc. If it doesn't work in a few weeks, they're gone. I've been at this 15 months. I haven't had a 21-day streak in months, I've had almost no weekends without a wild S-day, I've been bouncing around at the same 15-20 lb. loss for months BUT I am still making progress and I'm still optimistic precisely because I haven't implemented the plan consistently for months (after 12 weeks of Vanilla No S last year). I've had two good weekends in a row recently and they weren't that hard. This after a year of saying, no, no, no I cannot accept any S day modifications even though I'm miserable after a day of eating. I finally figured out my most possible mods and they seem livable. I had and have my trepidations, but they're not a reason to run. I'm having one of my best weeks in months. Some would think I'm a fool for hanging on this long but what is the alternative? And it isn't as if I'm still trying to do something drastic that I WOULD be a fool to think I was going to master after a year of "failure." Like eating 1200 calories a day and working out like a fiend to try to get to 19% bodyfat. Here's all it is: Learn to eat three meals a day and cut loose without being an idiot on the weekends. My gosh, why would anyone keep hitting themselves over the head to try to do that? I would, because it beats trying to figure out how to eat 1500 calories (or less) on purpose every day for 4 months and then figure how many more I can eat after that to keep sane and keep the weight off.... aargh! Nope, won't do it. Doesn't mean I won't get more judicious if I pull off 3 months of Vanilla No and few wild S days with no weight loss. but I'll take that.

On my, I think I've replaced overeating with over-writing.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:58 pm

oolala53 wrote:On my, I think I've replaced overeating with over-writing.

Join the club.

BrightAngel · Post by **BrightAngel** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:58 pm

oolala53 wrote:I see one of the biggest mistakes...
is thinking that they're going to get it all figured out in a few weeks and sail off into the sunset.
When things get bumpy, they say, oh, this can't be right, or I'm a failure,
or nothing will ever work, etc. If it doesn't work in a few weeks, they're gone.

I've been at this 15 months. I haven't had a 21-day streak in months,
I've had almost no weekends without a wild S-day,
I've been bouncing around at the same 15-20 lb. loss for months
BUT I am still making progress and I'm still optimistic
precisely because I haven't implemented the plan consistently for months.

I finally figured out my most possible mods and they seem livable.
I had and have my trepidations, but they're not a reason to run.
I'm having one of my best weeks in months.
Some would think I'm a fool for hanging on this long but what is the alternative?

Here's all it is: Learn to eat three meals a day
and cut loose without being an idiot on the weekends.
My gosh, why would anyone keep hitting themselves over the head to try to do that?
I would,

On my, I think I've replaced overeating with over-writing.

Oolala,
Great Post. Keep writing.

ellgee · Post by **ellgee** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:59 pm

I, for one, am loving the overwriting. Right now, I'm in the honeymoon stage. I know the failures will come. The crazy S days. But if I am armed with the wisdom from those who have gone before - all the better. And I love that you keep it real!

I am a perfectionist. If things don't go exactly as I think they should, I freak! I have followed all the diet plans I have tried to the letter. Then I perfectly implode and perfectly eat everything not nailed down.

What I've loved over the last few days is that I'm eating regular food at meal times. I actually MADE dinner the last two nights. Can't recall when I've done that recently.

Please keep overwriting. It helps immensely!

Laura

ruxpin55 · Post by **ruxpin55** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:26 pm

Laura,
I am with you, I like reading these responses!! I feel so encouraged, and I am just like you in that this feels like a honeymoon, and I am already getting ahead of myself with thinking it will end at some point! (silly me!)

but keep up the good work!

awesome that you made dinner, keep that up too! once you feel like the food you are preparing isn't the enemy, I think you begin to enjoy it a whole lot more! (at least this is what I am noticing-- and i am one who cooks all our meals and then some! ugh, I felt so captive by.all.the.food--- it was everywhere! I couldn't escape it, at.all. but now, I'm not treating it like the enemy...) hopefully this is what you are experiencing!

if you need any recipes.... I can pass some along (to keep you revved up with cooking!)

Becoming · Post by **Becoming** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:49 pm

Laura (and also Jamie), I've been doing No-S since February this year and I just wanted to let you know that the 'waiting for food' part gets easier (it did for me anyway). It took a couple of weeks, but now I am used to going for longer stretches without food. I am still eating the same size meals that I was when I started, but my body has adjusted to the length of time between meals. In the beginning I used to drink huge glasses of water or a cup of tea to get me through. 7 weeks in, and I rarely need to do it now. As Kevin said, hang in there.

As far as S-Days go, eating too much 2 days per week is so much better than eating too much 7 days a week! And its definitely better than attempting to go on some impossible-to-stick-to restrictive diet where you never get any treats and then gain back any weight you lose because it's impossible to maintain in real life. Most of my S-Days are crazy wild, but hey, I'm new at this, and I believe that when the time is right for me I will naturally move towards less wildness (it took a few weeks for me to come to that conclusion

)

Welcome, and congratulations on your good start!

ruxpin55 · Post by **ruxpin55** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:55 pm

Becoming: love the screen name! I appreciate your encouragement! I don't really want to go wild on the weekends, but one thing I have noticed this past weekend was that I felt like it was the "not thinking" part of my week... I felt like I didn't have to "catch myself" reaching for a second helping, or licking the spatula/spoon when I made something that would not have been "kosher" on a no-s day

it was like being free like a bird... but the neat thing is that I really felt stuffed when I went for seconds on Saturday! I couldn't believe it... I really hope this sticks! I could use "built-in" self control, rather than continually thinking about *not* doing something..

sorry for the rambling..

Everyday Systems

New and White Knuckling It

New and White Knuckling It

Re: New and White Knuckling It