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kaalii's daily check-in...
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Whosonfirst



Joined: 16 Nov 2006
Posts: 184
Location: Pennsylvania-U.S.A.

PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kaalii, I'm wishing you well in your struggles. My wife suffers from depression and makes me feel helpless not knowing how to help her. Good for your bf staying longer for you. Your son sounds like a great kid.
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Five Green days in a row. I do a BMI check by looking in a mirror.
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you, ladybird and whosonfirst!
so nice to hear your support!
it is very appreciated here!

i wish i had time to read more this forum... but it has been busy or intense lately...
seems like all the red days in april and birthdays have a bit caught up with my stats... i gained 2kg... which is perfect, actually... i'm just not happy that i got them with food that makes me feel less healthy and contributes to feeling bad...
but it is all still perfectly fine...


today im making an early gratitude list that i might update this evening...
today im grateful:
-for another beautiful walk in the forest with luka and bolt... and again playing fetch succesfully...
-for a really good night sleep
-for my bf thinking of me
-for the pasta... i just love pasta!
-for the toilet working good again (dont ask!)
-for discovering another good band to listen to
-for all the bills being paid
-for luka's amazing health
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2017 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

monday - green!!

today i'm grateful:
-for driving my van
-for t-shirt day again and sunshine
-for chatting with the neighbours
-for the opportunity to help a colleague so that she could leave work earlier today
-for being with luka as he was buying himself a game from his own pocket money and witnessing his happiness and pride...
-for a moment when bolt and i sat on a bench in the sunshine to relax on the walk... such a nice, warm and peacefull moment...
-for the money for possibly another short trip to italy in 10 days
-for a moment when some kids from a colleagues class started running to hug me as i entered the room... smaller kids are so affectionate to the teachers...
-for my period... and never needing medication for the pain for it...
-for enough time in my life and not having to work full-time nor spend time on long commuting... uf, that is a big one... i should remember it when i'm stressed out or feel under pressure...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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LifeisaBlessing



Joined: 02 Jun 2016
Posts: 263

PostPosted: Mon May 15, 2017 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kaalii - Your list of things to be thankful for is such a wonderful idea and so inspirational! Smile Thank you for your gentle reminder to think of the positive things in life--it truly makes a difference! Smile

And I hope you're feeling better -- depression is no picnic, and it's so hard for people to understand who haven't experienced it. Cyber hugs and here's to better days ahead! Smile
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I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

~Jimmy Dean
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2017 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you, lifesisablessing, for your encouraging words! Smile

tuesday - green!

today im grateful
-for 2 lovely fetch set of games with bolt
-for his cuddles
-for my hands and fingers (inspired by my boss' recent accident, who is academic sculptor and painter, and while mixing the paint for la chaux technique she ususally does and has lots of experience - ended up with 2 and 3 degree burns on both hands!! Shocked ) ... never want to take them for granted!
-for my vital and healthy body and absence of physical pain
-for the warm water in the tap
-for spending a lot of time outdoors in the sunshine with the kids at work
- for the strawberries
-for the green salad/lettuce... i love it! and almost cant have a meal without it... i even make it when we order pizza... Very Happy
-for the "nanu" expression (internal joke between me and bf)
-for living in a rare country where jobs in education are well paid
-for the birds singing
-for meeting up with my best friend this evening, cant wait to laugh about the family reuninon she had in france this weekend
-for having a child... and healthy, smart and amazing one, at that!
-for being happily divorced
-for plenty of daylight time left after coming back home from work
-for the beach and lake/river swimming time coming sooooon
-for being told that i am such a good mum even though i know for sure that i'm faaaar from the mum i would like to be and the mum that my son deserves
-for knowing that im truly doing my best
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Wed May 17, 2017 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wednesday - green!!

today i'm grateful
-for my bf's birthday and special tenderness we shared, i love him so much!
-for the laughs with luka
-for the good swimming session, slower but steady for 45 minutes with only 3 pauses of couple of minutes for a hydromasage
-for the water... such a therapeutic element!
-for the opportunity to help out with the concert friends are organizing tomorrow
-for meeting some of our students at the swimmingpool
-for the neighbours finding their cat
-for my back muscles and feeling them more "alive" after the swimming
-for the laughter with my best friend last night
-for my van working well so far after the reparation
-for the opportunity to give the dirty diesel leftovers after the van reparation to a friend who will be able to use it
-for the bike tyres repair kit
-for the noS anchoring my mind around eating
-for the summer plans
-for the contraception
-for the washing machine and the laundry done... without the machine it would probably take me half a day to wash those piles
-for the time to spend with the people i love and the time to be alone
-for my independence (with the awarenes that none is fully independent, but i let myself enjoy the feeling of it)
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Thu May 18, 2017 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thursday - green!!

today im grateful:
-for my son finding 100chf on the street... haha, that boy! so funny to see him feeling so rich!
-for youtube
-for the simple skill to fix flat tyre on the bike
-for such nice cuddles with bolt while grooming him
-for the alcohol-free beer to enjoy when hanging out with friends and not wanting to drink alcohol... but not liking juices and other stuff available...
-for the music
-for the deliciousness of baked potatoes
-for this sympatic elderly man i met while walking bolt
-for my rough patch/depression forcing me to come in touch with myself ever so deeper... yes, there is that something beautifully honest and truthfull inside of me so much more awake in these darkest hours, this existential angst... i just know there is a gift for me in it... i just have to claim it... somehow...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 8:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

friday - green!!

today im grateful:
-for the whole experience with luka and his drum teacher at the jazz academy... and for his teacher passing his last exam there with highest marks... and what his teachers said there about luka's drumming
-for getting to play an amazing yamaha big concert piano a bit
-for visiting bern again
-for changing my iud
-for luka's father stopping by for coffee and the nice talk we had...
-for the possibility that he will move couple of minutes walk from us (even though now he doesnt live far either) which would make us practically neighbours and that would be so awesome for luka and all of us
-for having a friend in him and he in me and openly sharing our struggles as old friends would... and ability to share a laugh, too... what a gift... and at the same time:
-for our separation and divorce... and the wisdom and courage to do it right in time before our inevitably continuing relationship was beyond repair... i'm truly grateful he had left me when he did as i would have no courage to do it and prolong the agony of those times...
-for some lovely ted talks
-for watching seinfeld with luka and laughing
-for the poeple i meet while walking bolt
-for being ok with not being ok... accepting it brings me some peace... i'm not afraid any more...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

today im grateful:
-for a green noS week
-for the end of rainy days and sunny and warm days ahead
-for plenty of rest
-for laughter just now with luka
-for the plans with my bf
-for only 2 work days next week for me and then a loong weekend and trip
-for the peaches (bought them inspired by watching with luka yesterday kramer from seinfeld scenes with peaches that "make your taste buds come aliiiiive" "the circus in your mouth" Very Happy )
-for the b-complex supplement
-for starting to feel a bit better, even if just temporary i have to savour it...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2017 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sunday

today im grateful:
-for luka's independence
-for being calmer
-for the stability of my life
-for loving my job
-for the sunbathing during the walk in the forest
-for bolt behaving off-leash
-for feeling no pressure
-for a song of one bird
-for luka suggesting a longer path through the forest
-for 2 water sources in the forest
-for the guacamole and how easy it is to make it
-for overcoming tough times before, i can do it again
-for being OK even when things dont work out the way i want
-for my imagination and letting myself imagine the outcomes i would like... if anything, to give me some relief from fear and worry...
-for my health
-for the peace
-for my plants
-for the electricity and tap water
-for the fresh air
-for my education, knowledge and experience
-for being loved as a child
-for surviving the war
-for the ability to concentrate well
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2017 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

monday - green!!

today im grateful:
-for not anymore having to work on mondays with a colleague i really can't find a way to work with (none can, really, but since she has private connections with the upper management my boss cant fire her and has problems where to place her since none likes to work with her)
-for finding clear and calm way to communicate to my bf what bothers me in our relationship
-for the smell of freshly cut grass
-for the skype with my brother who is now working at the amazingly beautiful island hvar in the adriatic... hope he will decide to still work there this summer and we go to visit him during our summer road trip and do some island-hopping again...
-for not having to worry about having enough food
-for the season of open windows and fresh air in the house
-for the bicycle and going with bolt for a ride/run
-for being fit and healthy
-for the friends and knowing im not alone
-for all the socialising opportunities around me and the concerts i get to see
-for being told i am pretty... even if it is not from my bf...
-for how my hair feels on the day i wash it
-for feeling better... and the hope that i might not be generally as bad as i feared i was... but let's see...
-for that sweet excitement couple of days before going on a trip... looking forward to the packing and preparations tomorrow...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 682
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

tuesday - green!

today im grateful:
-for nice bike ride and game of fetch with bolt
-for fun at work and saving 2 donuts from desserts at work for luka
-for nice conversation with the neighbour
-for meeting a friend i havent seen in couple of months and 2 new people i met that she has visiting (from uk and estonia)
-for meeting an old colleague during the bike ride... and her son... and she lost her baby (sids) and seeing her recover after such a traumatic loss...
-for the travel tomorrow
-for the money to do it
-for the time to do it
-for some deep peace i feel...
_________________
Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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