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At my wits end. Is No S my last hope

 
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Darceyrose



Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 5:01 pm    Post subject: At my wits end. Is No S my last hope Reply with quote

As the title say's I am completely at my wits end. I have failed at dieting, I have even failed at weight loss surgery. I am a compulsive eater and going round and around in circles.
Don't get me wrong, I have successfully lost weight in the past, collectively hundreds of pounds but I have never successfully kept it off. I then read books on how the diet industry fails us and stir myself up into righteous indignation, I then try to follow the IE movement and inevitably end up failing because I obsess over it like I do all the different diets i try.
I am so tired, mentally exhausted from it all. I'm never in the present, i'm always fighting urges and compulsions in my mind. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now. Last year I had a nervous breakdown which I contribute to the stress of continued failed restriction/bingeing. I am so scared that it will happen again. I did go down the therapy route but it made me analyse every relationship in my life and to be honest, my family are the only things that keep me sane. I seemingly have the perfect life to outsiders, a happy marriage, 3 wonderful kids, a lovely home etc. Little do they know how utterly desperate I feel.
I have attempted No S diet a couple of times in the past but I never seem to get past the first 3 days because I have conflict in my mind persuading me to try a different 'quick' diet method and on and on it goes.
Right now the only thing I can think of doing is following the NO S principles just to gain structure in my life. My diet is shocking, I graze pretty much every day because i am either on the tail end of a diet program or just about to start a new one. Pretty much last supper mentality on a daily basis.

I don't know what else to try, if anyone can empathise with my situation I would really appreciate your thoughts and/or suggestions

Thanks for reading
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splandrea



Joined: 09 Jul 2017
Posts: 64
Location: Northern California

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think a lot of us can relate to at least some of what you are going through.

I will say that this way of eating is basically really good for correcting eating disorders, because it demands ordered eating 5 days a week. I did not even realize I had a binge eating disorder until I started this.

The weight comes of horribly slow, even though I am doing everything right, but the point of this whole thing is not to torture myself any further with dieting. Dieting is over. I am just eating. normally. like a normal human. And if one of the side effects is weight loss, that's cool! I can't pretend that I am not rooting for the scale to go down, but I also had to hide the scale from myself because I was loosing my focus.

I can either diet and then fail, diet and then fail, lose weight, gain weight, be frustrated, cry, hate myself, get inspired, diet, and fail OR I can just eat like this and end the cycle and learn how to eat normally and be rewarded potentially with slowly weighing less and less and in a few years I will be as thin as I ever wanted to be, but with the added bonus of years of training on how to eat so that the weight will not come back. I have to remind myself of this often - but I am only on day 18 so I am not a seasoned veteran like some of these ladies.

Anyway, Good luck!!!! It really feels very sane to eat like this and you can forget tracking and counting (and caring so much!) and just live in the freedom that is No-S.
_________________
07/01/17: 258
Current: 238
Aiming for 180. We shall see...
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ChandaLikePanda



Joined: 16 Jul 2017
Posts: 14
Location: WA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 6:43 pm    Post subject: Re: At my wits end. Is No S my last hope Reply with quote

Darceyrose wrote:

I have attempted No S diet a couple of times in the past but I never seem to get past the first 3 days because I have conflict in my mind persuading me to try a different 'quick' diet method and on and on it goes.


Today is my third day on this "diet". What you said here really resonates with me, because I find myself thinking things like, "Maybe if I do just three low carb/ketogenic meals a day, no snacks, and weekends off, I'll lose faster..." or "Maybe if I just do a diet program that drops weight really quickly, and THEN switch to No S, I can have my fast weight loss, and keep it off."

But somehow I think that will set me up for failure... I don't know. I really do understand where you're coming from, though. I keep thinking what my next meal will be, what I will have as a treat on my S days... But then I stop and I tell myself, "Take this one day at a time. Focus on the present. You don't know what tomorrow, or even this afternoon, will bring." So right now I'm just working on following the rules. Yesterday was my first N day, and I asked my husband to go get me a drink from Starbucks... Then I said, "Wait! My N day! No, nevermind. I don't want anything, I'm fine." Laughing

So my advice, even though I just started and am not a veteran at all, is just take it one day at a time. Focus on the present. You don't know what the next day, or the next three hours, will bring.
_________________
Gender: Female
Age: 40
Height: 5'4"
Starting Weight: 180
Current Weight: 180
Goal Weight: Ultimately 120, but we'll see what happens.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 515
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Darceyrose. I would urge you to give NoS a serious chance. Can you commit to it for a few months? I truly believe that if you give it your very best shot, NoS could be life changing for you, as it has for me. I have been following this way of eating since last October and it has given me the tools I needed to end years of yoyo dieting. Although never seriously obese, I could never find a way of eating that I knew would be forever. I have felt despair and questioned whether there was something wrong with me, but NoS has slowly slowly changed my whole outlook and relationship with food.
We are all here for support, the road will almost certainly not be a smooth one, but I know this can be the answer you are looking for.
Good luck.
_________________
"You'll know where the North Star is ⭐️" - Oolala
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MaggieMae



Joined: 01 Nov 2015
Posts: 515
Location: Ohio, USA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 18, 2017 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I completely understand what you're saying! I have tried no s many times. I realize now that I have to just brush off the failures and get back to it. I still struggle with the' last supper ' mentality. That's a perfect way to describe it! I get easily lured away by another diet and when I realize I can't stick to it long term, I binge and tell myself I'll start something different tomorrow. I have realized that three meals a day is the only thing that's keeps me sane. I haven't mastered the no sweets thing yet but not snacking helps me feel in control.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 8242
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 2:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

1. Do you have health complications?

2. Realistically, do you have any options besides No S?

3. Do you really believe you are destined to repeat these cycles for another 20 or 30 years?
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 64
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but harder to maintain)
Dec/17 23.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Sandy



Joined: 24 Aug 2005
Posts: 58
Location: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2017 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love NOS and how I feel successful is every month is I have to lose 2.5 lbs -- that equals 30 in a year. In my calendar I write the goal for the month and if I'm not at goal S days are just regular days. When weekend comes and I'm at goal I get ONE dessert or treat.

This helps me feel more successful. I basically eat healthy but the binges are what got me and certainly derailed my life. I was either starving or bingeing constantly back and forth every day of my life.
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Elyssa



Joined: 04 Jun 2017
Posts: 52
Location: Eastern USA

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 2:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Darceyrose:
The first step is to get off the "carousel of crazy," right?

WITH NO-S, THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY A WAY TO DO SO!

I think many of us here in this forum can relate to what you are describing, certainly I can. I am reading between the lines... so you feel like outsiders have no idea, and that is possible. Yet a wise old saying from AA says something like "don't compare your insides to other people's outsides." That is to say, those outsiders may have their own invisible struggles.

Second, you are NOT (repeat NOT!!!) a failure. It's just not helpful for your to see yourself that way. Let go of that pressure and those labels... You just have some badly-ingrained habits that may FEEL like they will always run (or try to ruin) your life - but those habits can be changed.

How about taking it one day at a time... maybe even 1 plate at a time?
And don't worry about doing No-S perfectly, either.
Just strive for sanity! We are here, rooting for you, okay!

Wink ~ Elyssa
_________________
Ahh... relief!

"No S" has become the life-changing answer to my agonizing questions around food...

Trust in the wisdom of structure.
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yellowtulips



Joined: 14 Mar 2016
Posts: 31
Location: New Hampshire

PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Darcyrose,

I started NoSing a little over a year ago (March 2016) and then wedding in June made me immediately try more 'aggressive diet' techniques. End result: lost maybe a couple of pounds by June, but would have done so much more comfortably just NoSing Laughing

Then a few months of essentially doing nothing. Then started NoS in November --bad timing--too many S days--my birthday, my husband's birthday, granddaughter's birthday, mother-in-law's birthday, on top of the holidays. I wound up doing what someone else described: NoSing, but with other diet restrictions (5-bite, low-carb, calorie-counting, etc.) over the course of a few months to realize: STOP!!!

And now, just simply NoSing, and being honest about the obvious slips (I've come to not beat myself up over an 'red' day on the habit cal), I've lost 18 pounds and a dress size. The weight continues to slowly trickle off.

What I've really lost is the obsession. I eat. I eat what I want (mostly) at meal times. (The mostly, is dessert has to happen on certain days, not others).

What I'm gaining? A sense of being a normal human being. More energy to give my attention to all the other things I like in life beyond food. Funny how we forget the things we actually enjoy when caught in the 'diet' trap. All that time being spent planning about food, worrying about weight, etc.

Because of my on-again-off again, I realize that I missed giving an update on my anniversary with NoSing. I'm looking forward to doing that at the 2 year mark.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think it is that unusual for people to start-stop-start...have those '12 failures' or so before hitting their stride with NoS. Keep getting back in the saddle, it's worth the ride.
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Leecey



Joined: 26 Jul 2017
Posts: 1
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2017 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Darcyrose

I just read your message and I get your frustration I felt and still feel frustration when I think about the diet industry, all the contradiction, all the money I've wasted and the all the times I've felt like a failure because I couldn't stick to any of them long term.

Anyway I was looking for a better way when I found this website http://www.eatlikeanormalperson.com and as I read the message on the site it made total sense to me. The site then lead me to the S diet website and I've been following the guidelines (prefer over the word diet) for nearly 3 weeks now, I have lost weight and most of all I feel better about myself and in myself. Not once have I felt the nees to berate myself for being a failure.

I eat 3 nourishing meals per day, I've removed from the house all low fat foods and if replaced have gone back to normal foods, I have even upped the fat percentage in my milk, no more low fat milk.

So please don't go back on one of those dodgy diets, give the S diet one more go, you CAN do this I promise you can, make the food nourishing and remember most importantly be kind to yourself.

And just in case anyone is wondering I am not the website owner, nor am I driving traffic there it's just what is on the site resonated with me and has made a massive difference to how I look and think about food.
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