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Octavia is finally checking in!
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
Posts: 470
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pasta and pizza are easy, make that for him, double up portions so you can reheat and then cook what you want. Again try and double up some recipes then you have another easy meal.

Hope you feel better tomorrow

Jx
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 507
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 11:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Soprano, Merry Christmas to you and thanks for the support. Hey, and you’ve taken me to Page 5 of my thread! A new page for a new year. Smile

I spent a little time last night with my journal, cooking up fine ideas for the way ahead. I feel quite motivated (though it’s easy to feel a pleasant, positive glow when sedated by liqueur chocolates, peanuts and trifle...). Once again I realised how all the challenges in my life are connected. SLEEP is at the root of everything. Good sleep gives me the physical energy and brain power to stick to No S, to eat better meals, drink more water and take exercise. Those things lead to less illness, less inertia, the energy to do those little meal-management tweaks Soprano suggested above....plus more creativity, better moods, less anxiety.

I read a bizarre tip the other day, in a free downloadable weight loss book by Linda Westwood (some of her tips are very No S compatible, others very much not...) - it was to put on sunglasses in the house at night, to prevent too much light entering your eyes and disrupting your sleep!!! Wow - weird, huh? But at the same time - genius! So if you can’t resist glancing at your iPad,or doing some last minute clearing in the kitchen, at least you’re in a sort of personal twilight. 😎

Anyway, Linda Westwood’s quirky tips did remind me that good sleep is at the root of weight loss success, cos without it, there is no willpower. So it’s at the root of all manner of success. That is what kept me reading, even though I passed over the tips on ‘healthy snacking’. We all know where that leads. There were also more predictable tips on cutting carbs and adding more protein - I think we all know that, but again, when we get exhausted, we’re not organised enough to cook a beautiful piece of chicken with green beans. (Then do it again for the DC, and again for DH in between driving DC to classes and answering those last-minute emails.) But she’s not unrealistic - she advises to take on board just one or two new habits at a time, starting with eating more slowly. But it was good to be reminded that sleep must be prioritised. For me, that means shutting down screens early and not doing too much thinking, planning, organising before sleep. It also means I need to keep up with this steroid nasal spray the doctor has given me - a bunged up nose is a major obstacle for me - and another helpful thing is to listen to meditation recordings on YouTube. As long as they’re reasonably interesting and intelligent, they will stop me thinking my own, disruptive thoughts. If they are too dull and predictable, my mind will start generating more interesting stuff.

If I have a word of the year, it will be SLEEP. I wonder if Reinhard has an Everyday System for this? I must invent one.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 507
Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’ve just glanced at the Testimonials page. After all, I have now done more than a year on No S so I suppose I am allowed to leave a testimonial. However, I have only lost 10lb, and the people on that page seem to have lost astonishing amounts of weight so quickly. I mustn’t get depressed about this, though. I know that I am lucky to have only been a stone or so overweight in the first place. Maybe a lot of No S-ers are like me...imperfect and slow to lose weight. Should I leave a testimonial? Am I allowed? I think I could encourage others whilst being a useful voice of realism.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definitely leave a testimonial not everyone will lose a lot of weight it's encouraging to know it works and is easy to stick with Smile

I'll be doing one on my anniversary!

Jx
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You should definitely leave a testimonial. It’s important to get lots of different perspectives and expectations. Of course I still haven’t written anything there. Not sure why. I guess it’s because at this point it’s hard to tease out how much of my success is from NoS and how much is from other methods.

Anyway, I think it’s smart you’re really working on your sleeping. I know dr fung says he can’t really help ppl till they get their sleep under control. Taking magnesium at night has really helped my sleep issues. Funny that you mentioned the sunglasses. I remember listening to a podcast about wearing colored glasses at night to block out the blue light or something. Here’s an article that talks about it: https://www.today.com/health/amber-tinted-glasses-could-help-you-sleep-better-t120220

I hope your sleep improves. That’s no fun. Also, thank you for the sweet response on my thread. 💜💜💜
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
Posts: 204

PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2018 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Totally leave a testimonial! The fact that you are 10 lbs less is very inspiring to me. I will be thrilled when I get to being down 10 lbs. Being able to stick with it somehow even when weight loss is slow is hugely important. Whatever tips you can share for that will be very valuable.

I agree with you about sleep. It is an underrated thing for good physical and mental health. Staying off screens close to bedtime is very difficult for me when I'm working, because the only time I have for me-screen-time is in the evenings. I need to figure that out.

Exercise and sleep are my two non-eating-related priorities. Well, those and stress management. I think my life will be so much better if I eat right, exercise, get enough sleep, and manage my stress. Add in enjoyment time with family and friends, and that's a great recipe.
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ladybird30



Joined: 07 May 2017
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love reading testimonials, so yes please.

I had a near miss this morning, part of the reason was a bad nights sleep last night. Generally I turn the lights right down an hour or two before bed, because it helps me to be relaxed and get to sleep more easily. Sometimes I darken the screen if I have a DVD on and just listen to the sound. So blue blocker glasses - not so weird.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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Location: UK

PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all, and I will start thinking about my testimonial!
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2916

PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 11:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm home from my trip and catching up on other threads -- thank you SO very much for the feedback, encouragement, and empathy on my thread.

YES! Leave a testimonial! I did, after one year, and I was only down maybe 8 or 10 pounds if I remember correctly. I felt very much like I had earned my spot just by sticking it out for one year. Smile
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 507
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will do it! Smile

No S, I so need you. Today, I felt my 8-9 day period of Christmas feasting had finally burnt itself out. I threw away the mince pies and poured the remains of 3 bottles of wine down the sink. I also threw away half a bag of nuts, and put two unopened bags in the cupboard for the next party or gathering. The huge tub of Quality Streets* (on sale at half price when I went shopping yesterday) I still have....how can I throw them away....but maybe I should....or perhaps make a firm pledge to save them for next S weekend. Turn a potential feeling of sadness and deprivation into one of pleasant anticipation.

Anyway, thanks to the principles of No S, and the way you can get back on the plan at any moment, I have managed to have a proper, moderate N day. It seems like a miracle as Ive had zero willpower for the last 9 days - and prior to that I was wavering quite a bit - but those N day habits are truly in my system and seem to have locked back into place. I feel a sense of relief. I can still do this.

Too scared to weigh myself, though. I will wait till I’ve got a few N weeks under my belt.

*in case they’re not available in the US - Quality Streets are British chocolates with magical powers, which have been with us since childhood and contain happy Christmas memories for most of us. They come in super-colourful foil wrappers and to look at them is to turn into a child.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2018 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay for return to moderation! My day has been a proper N Day as well! And I'm also shocked!
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 1004

PostPosted: Sat Dec 29, 2018 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My Christmas indulgences also lasted for more than a week, so I definitely share your weighing anxiety. Let's just put that off for a while, shall we?
I agree with you on the importance of sleep. It really is a cornerstone of healthy habits, yet we so often skimp on it and trade it for late night entertainment. I'm soooo guilty of it! But not yet willing to wear my shades indoors, thank you very much Very Happy I'm kinda wondering if I would put exercise before sleep, though.
I looked up the sweets your mentioned. Seems like a cult classic! I have to remember to ask my friend from the UK to send me a box next Christmas. Or are they available all year round?
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 3:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very cool that your Christmas indulgence period burnt itself out, and you were ready to get back to No S. Not because you felt guilt that you needed to, but because you needed to. Happy New Year!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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Location: UK

PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2019 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Sharon and Imogen!
Sadly my chaotic treat-focussed eating did continue for a while. There was another leg to our Christmas duties, which was to go to my mum’s again and look after her for a while. It was very challenging. I got into a sweet-stuffing habit, picking bits and pieces all day long, and when we got back home at midnight last night I was so exhausted and willpower-depleted that I ate yet more chocolate.

Today is my first proper, normal, post-Christmas day, and I’ve been relaxing and looking after myself (washed hair, rubbed in some body lotion, put on reasonably nice clothes, blow dryed hair). But then had a nasty shock when I realised that I’d forgotten an urgent piece of work, and have been battling that for a couple of hours. Laptop conked out - I think it’s just the charger, and have ordered another - managed to complete the project on my iPad. But when I’d finished, a powerful urge for chocolate rose up. Not just bits of chocolate, whatever happens to be left over, but a PROPER BIG BAR ALL FOR MYSELF. Total selfishness is what I wanted, after a holiday period of sensible grownup DUTY. I was about to succumb! (Jeopardy music playing in the background here...) I rushed downstairs and was about to put on my coat and go round to the supermarket...after all, I’ve been in all day...I need a walk....but then (sparkle music) I remembered the No S emergency life saver....the drink. The idea of a hot chocolate was surprisingly pleasing. Maybe that’s because I haven’t made on for a while. So here I am, supping my hot choc and believing that this COULD be a successful N day after all, and I could stay green till the weekend.

I’ve just discovered the work of Loretta Graziano Breuning. She’s an expert on habits and the ‘happy hormones’ that push us this way and that - dopamine, serotonin, endorphin, oxytocin. And the stress hormone, cortisol. I feel I understand my own brain and impulses better than ever before, after reading her book, Habits of a Happy Brain. It’s not a perfect book, perhaps a little too much on the brains and behaviour of animals, but I think she explains brilliantly the reasons it’s so hard to change habits. Of course No S helped me to understand just what it takes to create a new habit and override an old one, but I now have a more technical understanding and an ability to visualise what’s happening up there. Her website is well worth a look - InnerMammalInstitute.org.
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sharon227



Joined: 18 May 2018
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I wasn't the only one with a big craving for something sweet! I think it's hard to get back to routines when we've been SO out of regular routines in every respect. Congratulations on not having the big chocolate bar! It's so easy to say the heck with it, you can (and will) do anything I want.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh dear sorry about the forgotten work but glad you got it done! My habits are all out of whack too. Last night after dinner I really wanted some sweets. I managed to get by with a small piece. Awesome job on going for the hot cocoa instead. It is good to remember that it’s just our habits that need to get back on track and not some personal failing of our own.

(Love the jeopardy music playing in your head btw 😆)

Happy 2019!

Linda
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"Above all, be the heroine of your life and not the victim.” Nora Ephron

3/14-210 lbs;
3/15- 202 lbs;
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9/18-154 lbs;









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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Posts: 2916

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very fun post to read - thanks Octavia! And I will go check out that website/book.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
Posts: 507
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 9:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Sharon, Linda and Auto! Sounds like many of us are being faced with sweet temptation at the moment. I’ve managed to stay green these last three days. I’ve had to revert to my early crutch of calorific drinks a few times, though. I don’t worry too much about these, as my home made cocoa has just two small sugar cubes in it, so it’s not like scoffing a Starbucks dessert-in-a-glass... and I do believe that for me, it helps to break the biting, chewing habit. I even had a vegetable cuppa soup yesterday after a long walk in the afternoon.

But I need to get lots more green days under my belt before I feel secure again, and start losing weight. I hope I’ll be able to manage without the calorific drinks again soon. They really do deflect cravings, I find, but at the same time, they keep the habit of responding to a craving alive. I do get that. Yet for me, they seem to help with the transition from perma-snacking to going without. And the feeling of success, achieving a green, gives a real boost too. I like the sense of achievement.

After three green days, I wonder if I’m confident enough to weigh myself without going to pieces? Then I’ll really feel like I’m on track again.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’m wondering what sort of an S weekend I’ll have. After doing No S for more than a year now, I can’t really say that my S days have tamed themselves. And yet, I’m noticing a stronger and stronger dislike of not being hungry enough to enjoy a meal. That is indeed a step forward, and should lead to progress, especially if I focus on it, notice it a bit more. I’m still at the stage where I realise a little too late that I won’t be hungry enough for dinner. Then I feel quite stressed as I have to force a nice dinner down. So I’m going in the right direction, but it’s funny how long it’s taking! I find myself reflecting on the fact that although my eating habits were not extreme enough to make me obese, they were VERY deeply engrained. Sometimes I wonder if I simply cannot change! I have these massive neural pathways in my head, all eagerly backed up by the environment! Tesco selling the Quality Streets at half price, DH saying merrily ‘shall we get a pudding?’ !! No S is the only answer to all this, though. I’m certainly not giving up: just realising afresh what I’m up against.
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Soprano



Joined: 08 Mar 2018
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like you have come a long away, recognising that you won't enjoy a meal because you aren't hungry is a big step same as recognising when you are full or actually don't like half of the treats you eat.

You got it keep noticing Smile

Jx
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Last edited by Soprano on Mon Jan 07, 2019 6:09 am; edited 1 time in total
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2019 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Speaking from experience, you TOTALLY can change. It was years before my weekends were not "grazing" and my desire to come to the table ready for a nice meal won out over the desire for instant gratification of permasnacking.

Then, without truly even noticing, this year I realized I don't even have desserts very much on my S Days! I look forward to ice cream in the evening, but don't even have it both nights, usually.

So give it time. Although to be honest, I think it does depend on how we are wired. I find that I cannot moderate my alcohol intake as easily as I can my dessert intake. I think most forum users are the opposite. Rolling Eyes So I get the trickiness of moderating sweets, even though it's not my own experience.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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Location: UK

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2019 6:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for these supportive words, Auto and Soprano. Good to know that maybe a year isn’t really very long, in terms of rewiring my brain, and that things may yet improve. I’ve been grazing a lot since this afternoon. Auto, I’d love to know how long it took before your S days became tamer.

Although I’m aware that my S days are still a bit chaotic, I’m certainly not planning to impose any S day rules on myself - for me, the whole point is to relinquish rules and experience that AAAHHHH! release of tension. But I’m certainly intending to keep my N days strict in the coming months. I feel that any relaxing of the rules undermines the habit-building. In some ways it’s easier when you’re strict. Anyway I’m going to follow the good advice offered here, and focus on that feeling of wanting to be hungry, wanting to truly enjoy a meal.

Just to add, my friends seem to fall into the category of being either hooked on sweets OR alcohol. People seem to fall into one camp or the other. But despite the differences, I think we do understand each others’ issues pretty well! 🙂
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 1:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All going OK so far this week! Oh - just realised, it’s only Tuesday!!! Laughing

But it’s great to be back in a normal week with no enforced socialising, eating or drinking.

I’m doing Habitcal, also tracking my drinking of water and a couple of other things. But No S is the most important.
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automatedeating



Joined: 31 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2019 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL, just realized it's only Tuesday. I feel like that too. I started back to work this week, so I think I was "thinking" about this week long before it started. Which makes me feel like it should be at least Wednesday today!
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And now, it is Wednesday! Hurrah. Hope all’s going well at school, Auto. I’m relieved to find that I’m really back in the swing of No S. Habitcal is helping me a lot. Let’s hope it continues.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And I thought today was Thursday! I jumped out of bed at 6am in a panic, threw on five layers of warm clothes and took out the trash cans. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Glad you’re back in a good groove!
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3/14-210 lbs;
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We're on the same page again - I've just posted my ponderings about hunger in my thread. I think the main incentive of NoS, at least after some time, is the pleasure that even the simplest of meals brings when one experiences mild hunger. Also, I love your "enforced socialising" phrase, I'm totally stealing it!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never naturally got to the point where the S days got tame. After two years, I finally had to institute a mod that really helped for a long time: getting rid of my worst offenders. (They were pretty disordered, not just garden-variety permasnacking.) Even now, I can feel pulled by food on S days (or other days, too). I still do a lot of pondering over hunger. Sigh. I really don't know the way out of it. But compared to how I lived with overeating before No S, I'll take it.
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Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Octavia



Joined: 25 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

...I don’t think the ‘addictive hunger’ ever truly goes away. Not for those of us who have these big highways in our brains, linked to gaining that dopamine hit from food. But as you said Oolala, No S at least allows us to manage the situation better, and avoid those highways at least some of the time. I was thinking today, while I’m in a calm, vanilla phase: sticking to my plan is either easy, or totally impossible. I swing from one to the other. Would love to know if anyone else has read Loretta Bruening’s Habits of a Happy Brain. She fills in a lot of the gaps left by Gillian Riley, i find. Though Gillian’s idea of the importance of ‘free choice’ is something I’ve yet to encounter in anyone else’s work. It still seems to me that the concept of free choice is entirely subjective and intangible. One minute, not snacking feels like a free choice, entered into willingly. The next, it feels punitive and stupid. So I don’t get how one can decide once and for all that certain eating guidelines are a ‘free choice’, and stay feeling like that for ever. A feeling of free choice can be elusive in all areas of life, I think!

This confusing week continues...I keep panicking that it’s friday and I’ve failed to turn up for an important bit of work. Hope you’ve got over the wrong-bin-day shock, Linda!
Laughing
I’m going to check out Imogen’s thread now, to read those ponderings about hunger! I’d be honoured if you use my phrase ‘enforced socialising’!! It is definitely a thing. Smile
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2019 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know of Gillian's work. Not an expert, but I don't think of the urge to overeat as necessarily an addiction. I think it's actually normal in humans in the presence of food and especially modern foods. That's why thinness is NOT the norm in the world now. I don't know why a few people can go from having big overeating issues and claim that they hardly have to think about it now, but they are definitely the exceptions. Or they are eating a quite restricted diet in the first place and get enough pleasure that they have accepted it.

I see No S as fitting with Gillian's idea of free choice. I have stuck with it (or my relatively recent mod experiments) because I keep reminding myself that I choose this over the options. I freely choose to limit my S's. Even at moments when I overeat and don't want to stop, I also know I could stop. I just don't. That has helped me later accept without as much dickering over it.

I'll see if my library has Bruening's book. But I sometimes think it would take life-threatening situations to have this all get wiped away for me. Which totally fits with our human evolution. Hunt or be hunted.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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ladybird30



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think of the No S rules as like wearing a seat belt in a car. In some countries I would have a free choice not to wear a restraining seat belt, but I would be putting myself unnecessarily at risk if I didn't. Similarly with choosing to wear a bike helmet and losing that unrestrained feeling of the wind in my hair.

Choice is a favourite mantra of industry groups who want us to keep consuming their unhealthy products, so is a word to be cautious of in some contexts.
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2019 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Riley doesn't say choice will always feel good. In fact, it often won't because of what I like to call the seductive nature of many foods. Do I choose to put up with feeling like it's restrictive and punitive not to eat willy nilly, and reap the benefit of enduring the discomfort, or decide to eat to relieve the pressure and accept that I am willing to reinforce the habit? Her slant is interesting because she is saying that given freedom, we can choose to tolerate the discomfort and wait for our next eating time. (Do you agree that her concept of Times and Amounts are similar to the 3-meal structure? It's just that with No S, we determine that ahead of time. I think that has a better chance of success than going by the vagaries of the day. We can always do that on S days.)

I never believe anyone who says anything like this is easy. I do think a firm dislike of the options and a degree of faith in the plan can help make it easiER to adhere to the chosen eating plan.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gillian’s concept of ‘Times and Plans’ is very No S-like, I think. I always thought that was one of her best contributions. But I reckon No S is more doable, as the three meals a day are pre-decided, as you said, Oolala. I found Times and Plans required more mindfulness (or maybe ‘bandwidth’ is the right word) that I had. She is such an interesting writer, though. I think her philosophies have helped me stick to No S, even though by themselves her books weren’t enough to help me.

Happy S days, everyone!
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 12:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree on Gillian. I still keep her book Say Goodbey to Overeating on my shelf. I think I first had a library copy years before, probably of Eating Less, which to me is a brilliant title because that's what it really boils down to, because I just remember it vaguely. Later, after a few years of No S, I got a used copy of SGTO and I have it all marked up! So much insightful stuff! I LOVE her stuff on your reasons why, my bias being that aiming for weight loss itself is a mistake. I fully admit that I am still affected by the cursed scale and my appearance, but it's not the driving factor.

I like to think of myself as managing my tendency to overeat. I tuned in to one of her free online sessions (a promo for her course, which I would actually recommend to people who keep trying without success to reduce their eating), and used that word. She started to take issue with it, but I sidestepped. I wasn't going to duke it out with the maestra online! I certainly have more respect for her than most diet doctors.
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SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 3:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, Gillian’s thing about weight loss NOT being a good motivator is important. And that took me a long time to understand. I used to argue that vanity was as much a motivator as the more vague and abstract concept of self-esteem (which Gillian talks about a lot), but eventually I realised that I was indeed only able to stick to a plan once I’d given up the idea of weight loss as my main motivator. My old logic was ‘I will eat less/eat better as long as it makes me lose weight.’ But when weight loss became elusive, then so did my willingness to eat less/better. And I began to eat in a health-compromising way, defeated by my own logic.

Only when I realised that I had to give up this unhealthy style of eating whether or not I was rewarded by weight loss did I find the strength to stick to a plan - No S.

So what’s my main motivator now? It’s hard to describe precisely, but it’s something like knowing that either I do No S or I’m stuck in a vicious circle where I’m compelled to undermine my own physical and mental health. It’s perhaps a negative motivation as much as anything.
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia, that is exactly my main motivator. It's basically more painful to live with systematic overeating than not. Talk about taking a long time to get something! Decades. But it was also more painful to think traditional dieting was the solution. Then it became a point of pride.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2019 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha! I was just about to say that Octavia is starting to sound like Oolala and that I think we have another WiseWoman of the tribe coming up the mentoring chain! Smile
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well that’s definitely an honour, to be compared to Oolala! Smile Not sure I deserve it, as I’m just an almost-beginner groping my way along....but thanks, Auto!

I’ve had quite a good green day. Doing Habitcal again, and it’s encouraging to see the green days building up. But I still haven’t weighed myself self since before Christmas. Afraid that my calm habit building will be unsettled if I find I’ve got heavier. I do feel a little heavier, but I’m still fitting into those old skirts. Tonight I tried on a favourite old halter neck sun dress which is one of my smallest garments, and it was still too tight, but I could do it up!

Went on a long walk today and ate plenty of fruit and veg, so feeling quite good. I had a cup of tea with milk before bed, and I do feel quite empty. Hope I sleep ok.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I decided it was time to do a weigh-in this morning. Bah, I am up by 3lb! And I suspect it’s not a blip, though time will tell. There’s no point panicking. There’s no point doing anything that isn’t a habit. All I can do is stay committed to the No S lifestyle. Christmas was a bit mad this year...and leading up to it, I had become less strict. But the Habitcal is back on. Hope I’ll start making progress again.
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Soprano



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PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2019 6:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best to face it and get motivated again, bet it's gone by mid Feb Smile

Jx
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Soprano!
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Imogen Morley



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I second what Soprano said. But you already know that. There’s no point doing anything that isn’t a habit - that's a great catchphrase to help us NoSers stay focused on the big prize.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was out all day yesterday and felt a bit tired and unwell. I’m fine though today. I spent quite a lot of time planning some new habits and goals, though knowing that you can’t build too many new habits all at once. The brain can’t forge all those new pathways through the brambles all in one go. My problem is that I have so many interests and desires in life, that I’m overwhelmed and unable to make decisions. I end up paralysed. After many years of a very busy working life, I’m now fortunate enough to have some free time, at least some of the time. It varies, but I know how lucky I am. But it’s so hard to use that time well! I know (as Imogen affirmed) that there’s no point doing anything that isn’t a habit. I want to create a structure for my life where there’s regular creativity, regular physical activity, regular organisation (Fly Lady type stuff)....instead of waking up every morning trying to choose from 100 things that all need doing with equal urgency. And ending up doing nothing until someone else makes a demand on me!

Anyway, I think what I’ve learned about habits is going to help me. I have to make more of my time, stop the constant procrastination. I intend to do this one small habit at a time!

Food wise, I’ve found it hard today - tired after yesterday’s stressful day, and craving the release of an indulgent feast of some kind. I have made two small hot chocolate drinks to get me through - one this afternoon (made DDs dinner before ours and felt so hungry as I served it up!) and one this evening (just feeling fed up to be honest). Not ideal, but I’m determined to stay green even if it means taking in a few too many calories.

I’ve had a green week! Smile
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Soprano



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry you are feeling unwell.

Re all the things to do, why not make a list...

Write down what you want to achieve, then break it down in to weekly tasks to complete by X date. Then each week assign small tasks to each day. Leave yourself room for the unexpected to derail you and have days off but time spent focusing now leaves you brain space to achieve Smile

I've just started a new job and am feeling overwhelmed with all that needs doing, I knew this when I took the job. It was good to write down all I needed to do. I've not yet broken it down to weekly tasks!
Jx
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Last edited by Soprano on Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Imogen Morley



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 19, 2019 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations on your green week, you're an unending source of inspiration for me. I’m determined to stay green even if it means taking in a few too many calories - I should get that tattooed on the inside of my eyelids, ha!
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia, not to make excuses for ourselves, but mental focus researcher Csikszentmihalyi (author of Flow. Have you heard of it?) found that people have much more trouble with finding satisfaction in free time than it would seem, since they complain so much about working. But I find that his concept of finding flow becomes another burden of idealism.

I haven't taken her up on it yet- just got suggested to me late Friday night- but a friend said she and another friend make commitments to each other for "work" days. They are both retired and procrastinating on projects. They decide on a certain day and tell each other what they will work on that day. Then they report to each other at the end of the day. I said I would commit to a few hours of working on different rooms for 14/15-minute stints. Sometimes I just do 11.

All I can muster these days is spending some time most days thinking about how good it will feel to have two things done- clear the next level of clutter , and get my carport frame stabilized. I usually just focus on how uncomfortable it is to do the tasks. OH, how I hate dealing with work men! That's probably the wrong outlook to keep up front, but it sure does come naturally!
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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automatedeating



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2019 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Octavia - when I am thinking about stuff I want to get balanced in my life, I just focus on the things that are bugging me the most. Oh Gosh, I made that sound too easy, didn't I, lol? My husband gets paralyzed by indecision, I've noticed. That literally has never happened to me in my entire life. Razz Razz Laughing Laughing Shocked Shocked I guess I rush in and then deal with my mistakes & failures as I make them. But I wouldn't trade that for indecision.

Anyway, so from Ms. Impulsive over here (who has Lady Twirltongue sitting on her amygdala sipping from a bottle of cheap wine) - I suggest just picking a couple things that you are most EXCITED/MOTIVATED to change. Let the other stuff go. That way, the change is actually kind of fun, and not just drudgery.
And track it baby - track it! What we don't track, we don't change (in my experience).
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So much brilliant advice from you guys! Thanks so mugh Auto, Soprano, Oolala and Imogen! I’m finding useful pointers in everything you’ve written, so huge thanks to you all. Soprano- the calming and focussing power of lists! I have forgotten this. Imogen, staying green is definitely my priority. Because however many calories I’m taking in through my calorific drinks and non-diet meals, it’s not as much as I was taking in before.
Oolala - uncanny that you should mention how the concept of finding flow becomes another burden of idealism. I sort of sensed that when I read Csikszentmihalyi’s book ages ago - but I couldn’t put my finger on what I didn’t like about the whole thing. You’ve hit the nail on the head, absolutely.

I’ve had a few moments of flow today, and I’m grateful for them. Long periods of unselfconscious absorption in a fascinating task are a real luxury for us adults, I feel. sometimes at work, it comes. Those are the moments when I’m least likely to be thinking about chocolate! Ah yes, it’s all linked....

Anyway, I’ve had another green day, hoping to make it a green January, but we’ll see.
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Octavia



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just wanted to add, what Auto said about tracking - yes. Things must be tracked, or they just slip through the net into unconsciousness. I’m convinced that the success I’ve had on No S has been linked to tracking. And recently I have been able to make some new habits - again, though the power of tracking.

I’m going to try to be a bit more like you, Auto, in being less indecisive, and more inclined to act and then deal with the outcome. It’s a far better way to live. Great to know that it can be done! Smile
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