The Blessings of Simplicity

Counting carbs/calories is a drag. Obsessive scale stepping is a recipe for despair. If you want to count something, "days on habit" is a much better metric. Checking off days on a calendar would do just fine, but if you do it here you get accountability and support. Here's how. Start a new topic in this forum called (say) "Your Name Daily Check In." Then every N day post a "reply" to that topic as to whether you stayed on habit. A simple "<font color="green">SUCCESS</font>" or "<font color="red">FAILURE</font>" (or your preferred euphemism if that's too harsh) is sufficient, but obviously you're welcome to write more if you want. On S-days just register that you're taking an S-day. You don't have to do this forever, just until you're confident you've built the habit. Feel free to check in weekly or monthly or sporadically instead of daily. Feel free also to track other habits besides No-s (I'm keeping this forum under No-s because that's what the vast majority are using it for). See also my <a href="/habitcal/">HabitCal</a> tool for another more formal (and perhaps complementary) way to track habits.

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Kathleen
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The Blessings of Simplicity

Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 16, 2008 1:20 pm

DAY 1 - 9/8/08: FAILURE
DAY 2 - 9/9/08: FAILURE
DAY 3 - 9/10/08: FAILURE
DAY 4 - 9/11/08: FAILURE
DAY 5 - 9/12/08: SUCCESS
DAY 6 - 9/13/08: S DAY
Day 7 - 9/14/08: S DAY
DAY 8 - 9/15/08: SUCCESS


Back in January, 2004, when I weighed a mere 190 pounds, I decided to keep a journal and look at different weight programs. By August, 2007, I had learned a lot and was up to 200 pounds. I then decided to keep a daily journal. I have since gained 15 more pounds and have written more than 200 pages about dieting. In July of this year, my sister in law mentioned this diet. She mentioned it again over Labor Day. I had developed a system for evaluating diets based on four questions: whether you need "perfect compliance" as recommended by a diet guru from the 60s and 70s, whether there are periods of being on and off a diet or the diet is a constant on, what conditions trigger eating or not eating, and whether the diet is different during the period of weight loss than during the period of maintenance. I decided to follow the No S Diet starting at 6 PM on Monday, September 8th.

Because my dieting had become such an obsession for me, I started to involve the kids in a contest to see how much I could lose. Over the summer, I followed a diet that I called The Hunger Satisfaction Diet in which I ate only after a stomach growl. The No S Diet book talks about this "eat only when you are hungry" approach. There's lots of room for self-deception. I could interpret any noise as a stomach growl. I started bingeing more and more after my stomach made a noise. I did go down from 214 in early June to 212 on August 28, a loss of 2 pounds over the summer. The kids guessed a loss of 6 to 20 pounds, and the child who was closest in guess got $10. I held another contest for our four kids to guess my weight, with the starting weight of 212 on August 28 and the ending weight being what I weigh on Christmas Day. This time, the reward was $20. The kids were more conservative in their guess of how much I weigh, guessing a loss of between 1 and 4 pounds. My son's view was that I would gain weight, but he was charitable in guessing a loss of 1 pound.

After August 28, I gave up on The Hunger Satisfaction Diet and tried a food diary for a few days. I hate writing down what I eat. I found that I wrote down a lot because I ate a lot. The act of writing down food makes you hate writing down food and does not alter eating behavior. On September 4, I reached my all time high of 216 pounds. (My son was right about my regaining weight.) On September 8 at 6 PM, I abandoned the food diary approach in favor of The No S Diet, which my sister in law had told me about in July and again over Labor Day weekend.




The following are my journal entries from September 3rd on:

Wednesday, September 3, 2008: I’m exhausted, utterly exhausted. Keeping a food diary allows me to follow my central tenant of “unconditional permission to eatâ€. With the hunger satisfaction diet, I had times when I could not eat and times when I could. It didn’t work. It promoted bingeing.

I think I’m taking a break for a time. No weighing myself. No investigating any other diets. My commitment to the children is that I will weigh myself on Christmas Day and reward them based on how much weight I lose between August 28 and Christmas Day. Here are the bets:

Tom: 1 pound – which would put me at 211 pounds on Christmas Day.
Katie: 3.5 pounds – which would put me at 208.5 pounds on Christmas Day.
Anne: 3 pounds – which would put me at 209 pounds on Christmas Day.
Elizabeth: 4 pounds – which would put me at 208 pounds on Christmas Day.

I start a new journal for the food diary approach, but I don’t know how much I’ll type here. Instead, I’ll be recording what I eat on paper.

7 PM: I ate an awful lot for no apparent reason. It might be wise for me to look at why I am eating and try to understand. This morning, I did see that I took a break. Maybe I can find a different way to take a break.

Thursday, September 4, 2008: 216. Here is the pattern: diet, break diet, binge, end up higher than when you started. I am appalled. Last night, the kids were reading from questions that can be used for getting to know each other, the question was what three wishes you would make if you could get them fulfilled, and I had only one wish – to be thin.

8:30 AM: After the devastating recognition of additional weight, not just from the scale but also from my upper arms being noticeably thicker, I have returned to optimism. Yesterday, I printed off and used a food diary which I had developed a few years ago. In it, I list reasons to eat as hunger, clock (mealtime), social, and other. Most of my eating yesterday was “otherâ€. What I can try is to limit eating to hunger (as in hunger growl), clock and social.

Friday, September 5, 2008: 215.6. I managed to only eat at mealtime until 5 PM, then I allowed myself to have a carrot, and then I just ate for the rest of the night. I will try again today. Keeping a food diary is very tactical. For example, yesterday, I kept a food diary, but I forgot the caramels in my “stash†in the car. A good lesson from yesterday is to keep food out of the car. I didn’t even remember I had eaten them! I ate them because they were there!

Monday, September 8 , 2008: 215. Day 1. Keeping a food journal is very revealing. I think I’ll try to record one lesson a day from it. Yesterday, I thought about how some of the most giving people I know are overweight – people like our son’s Scoutmaster and his wife. Why? I think it may have to do with a willingness to deny your own needs. As I well know, those who diet experience diet backlash and often end up heavier than when they started dieting. The willingness to diet – to deny yourself the food that your body needs – is indicative of a willingness to deny yourself what you need. I am going to try to figure out what I need and give it to myself. If I need a break, I’ll give myself a break.

6 PM: I decided to go on the No S diet, which is a book that was recommended by my sister in law. Based on what I read on Amazon, this is how it answers the four questions of dieting:

1. Should I practice Stuart’s “perfect compliance�
No. Eating is more art than science. There are many factors that go into deciding what to eat and how much. I can have exceptions I call “S†for special days.

2. Is the weight loss program one of “on/off†(dieting and periods of not dieting), or is it constant (a lifestyle change)?
There are “on†days which are weekdays and days that are not designated as special days. There are “off†days which are Saturday, Sunday, and special days.

3. What is the trigger for eating or not eating?
On “on†days, I have meals but no seconds, snacks, or sweets.

4. Is the period of maintenance different from the period of weight loss?
No.

I sure did not like writing down what I eat. With this diet, I will write down what I designate as a “special†day.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008: Day 2. I read a little on the No S Diet yesterday. It’s an intriguing way to respect your body when you have lost a sense of hunger. First of all, you feed your body because you do eat meals. Second of all, you have a regular period of time (the weekend) to make up for any lack of food you may have experienced in eating during the week. I want to do something with my life other than regain a sense of hunger if regaining it is a time consuming activity, which it appears to be.

7 AM: Breakfast was cereal with craisins, 1 peach, and 1 milk. No need to write anything down. No need to count up calories. Assurance that I won’t go hungry because I can eat at lunch in a few hours. This is a nice approach to weight loss.

8:45 AM: I think I understand how this works. It is exhausting to go from diet to diet to diet, and here I am with yet another diet that is so different from the diet of reaching a hunger growl. What I noticed with hunger growls was that I did not have the urgent need to eat. I started drifting back to the idea of eating at mealtime. The problem there is that calorie build ups or deficits cannot be made up over the long time. There needs to be some sort of a release, a time when there is “unconditional permission to eat.†The regularity of every Saturday and Sunday means that you can stay on the diet while still giving in to the urge to eat which is “diet backlash.†I’m toying and toying and toying with different ideas. This one strikes me as having some merit, so I’ll try it.

9:30 PM: This first day was tough. I lasted until about 6 PM when I had a peach and some bread before dinner. Just in the last half hour, I wolfed down cheese, bread, a chicken drumstick, and an ice cream sandwich. It is quite a challenge to follow no snacks, no seconds, no sweets.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008: Day 3. 213.6. I was grumpy last night and didn’t sleep well this morning, but my weight is down more than a pound from two days ago. This diet will work if I stick with it. It seems silly, but what it does is allow for a non insignificant period of time each week (Saturday and Sunday) for “unconditional permission to eat†and allows eating regularly so that the body is not going to be terrified of starvation.

7:30 PM: Weighing myself became justification for a binge. I had 5 or 6 ice cream sandwiches today as well as 4 or 5 peaches and an entire bowl of popcorn. I just need to face that the transition to this lifestyle is going to be tough, tough, tough. I think I need to not weigh myself. Since I have a bet going with the kids about how much weight I lose by Christmas, I need to weigh myself on Christmas Day but not before then.

Thursday, September 11, 2008: 105 days until Christmas. I’m going to try to follow this diet perfectly until Christmas. Yesterday, I ate so much prior to dinner that I didn’t even eat dinner. It’s going to be tough to give up all the food I wolf down without even realizing it. It’s going to be tough to take a break without stuffing myself. This is a dive-in approach to changing a lifestyle that is not healthy.

12:48 PM: I was really, really tempted to snarf down an ice cream sandwich. That would have been a violation of no sweets and no snacks. I passed on the idea. I have to keep in mind that I’m only doing this for 105 days, I’ll weigh myself, and then I’ll see where I want to go with weight management.

10:30 PM: I made it to about 6 PM, and then there was a free for all. My husband has called it a feeding frenzy. This diet is tough! I have a lot of changing to do. I think I’ll try just following it one day this week – tomorrow – and then adding a day a week.

Friday, September 12, 2008: 104 days until Christmas. I am not weighing myself. The number on the scale provides information which can lead to a change in plans, and I change diets as often as I change clothes. I’m sticking with this one. I am getting through the No S Diet for today, this one day. I am gritting my teeth and getting through it no matter what else happens. I am in a trap that few escape.

8 AM: I’m mortified. I put on the one pair of size 18 pants I could wear, and they were tight. At breakfast, Tom looked at me and said he thought I had gained some weight. He then said, “I didn’t think it was possible.†I said nothing. I wasn’t hurt. I was mortified. I know it’s possible for me to get to 400 or 500 pounds. Maybe I need to batten down the hatches and make following this diet my one and only priority until Christmas. It’s not that this is a selfish decision. I have an overweight daughter. I have an overweight husband. I am sluggish. The doctor diagnosed me as pre-diabetic, since my blood sugar of 108 is above the normal level of 100 although it is below the diabetic level of 124. This weight could very well destroy my health. I need to plunge into this approach.

9:15 AM: Now I am desperate, truly desperate. Our dog chewed on my one pair of pants that are tight but not uncomfortable, while I was wearing them and concentrating on the computer, and she put a hole in them! Now I am stuffed into very uncomfortable size 18 pants. I will make a run to a store to see what I can buy, but I just cannot face women’s sizes. I am following the No S Diet starting today. No gradual approach by starting with one day this week and two days next week. Instead, I start today, on a Friday. Next week is a five day commitment rather than a two day commitment. I used to ask myself how people could get so fat, and now I know.

1:15 PM: I’m like a guy who won’t commit to marriage, flitting from one gal to another. As I was buying groceries, I realized that I could go on doing this for the rest of my life, or I could commit today to this diet. I see many, many advantages: no fear of starvation, no concern about social awkwardness, a period of unconditional permission to eat each week… What I give up is relying on hunger signals. To try to train myself to be responsive to internal hunger signals would be a major undertaking, and is that what I want to do with my life? This is as good a diet as it gets without relearning how to rely on hunger signals. I don’t know that I would become thin, but I would lose weight. I just finished lunch. Normally, I have an entire can of soup and more than one piece of fruit. With this diet, there are no seconds. I suppose I could fish out a serving bowl for soup, but I passed on that idea. Normal eating is easy to see when you have just one serving of food.

6 PM: I have lasted this long, and I only have a few more hours until the weekend. This is, in effect, a five day diet every week.

Saturday, September 13, 2008: 9 AM. Yesterday was a shock to my system, and I felt grumpy. I inhale food. With my hunger growl diet, I always had the possibility of a signal to eat without restraint. Looking back now, this diet had some notable flaws:
· The possibility that I am misinterpreting a stomach noise as a hunger growl, especially since I have motivation to misinterpret it
· The difficulty involved in disrupting normal routines, since I was not eating at meals and was eating at other times
· The difficulty involved in not eating at special occasions like my nephew’s graduation.
These issues are addressed with the NoS Diet. I don’t have to listen for hunger, so there is no need for interpretation of stomach noises. I have normal routines because, during the diet, I eat three meals per day. I have exceptions for special days. I also have exceptions for the weekends, which allows for a release of pent-up deprivation from eating less than I normally have. Right now, I am stuffed from having a bagel, a mini-Butterfingers bar, and a Hershey bar. Next week, with 5 days of dieting, will be torture. It will get easier over time.

7:15 PM: I ate a lot today, including eating most of a bag of peanut clusters. I’m stuffed. Just one day of the NoS Diet made it seem strange to eat my normal feeding-frenzy way. Next week will be tough, and I’ll get through it knowing that Saturday and Sunday can be a free for all.

Monday, September 15, 2008: 8 AM. I ate a lot yesterday – chocolate and ice cream bars and popcorn and on and on and on. I’m actually scared to go through with this diet this week, and I prepared as well as I could by stuffing myself as much as I could. I had the fleeting thought of weighing myself but decided against it. It would have been very, very discouraging. Yesterday, Tom told me he would give me anything I want if I lose 10 pounds by Christmas and keep it off for a month. He also made some comment about how the marriage vows should be “for thinner or fatter.†This dieting and increased weight is wearing thin on him. What’s amusing about this is that, at a point in time, I stopped dating and looking around at other men, and it was at that point that I was totally comfortable with marrying Tom. That’s how I feel about this diet. I’ve danced with a lot of diets, almost all of them feeling like “the oneâ€, but I only knew when I knew. It’s hard to describe. Wanting someone to be “the one†is not the same as that person being “the one.†I don’t believe in soulmates. I believe in getting to a point where you are committed, and I’m finally at that point with a diet.

12 PM: I feel a certain sadness that I am giving up the hope that I can learn to eat by hunger signals. With marrying Tom, there were no regrets at all. With this diet, there are regrets. I guess what I have to balance against the loss of finding the perfect diet is the fact that I have spent many years and lots of time trying to find the perfect diet, I’m almost 50, and I weigh more than 200 pounds. Do I really want my mission in life to be seeking the perfect diet? No. This diet will work. It will be reliable. It will help me to take attention off food and allow me to enjoy other people. I won’t have to worry about eating after my nephew’s graduation or skipping meals because I don’t experience a hunger growl or trying to interpret stomach noises. That is all in the past. There is a certain relief to making a choice, a choice that will work for me.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008: Day 9. 6:40 AM. I got The No S Diet in the mail yesterday, and I finished reading it after the dog woke me up at 3:40 AM this morning. Looking back, I see that my Day 1 was actually Monday, September 8, because I started the diet at 6 PM. I certainly did not follow the diet rules for the whole day, so that was a red day. The next three days were also red days – days when I failed. On Friday, I had a green day. Saturday and Sunday were yellow days. Yesterday was a green day. I’m sold on this diet. The book makes a very clear case for what I have learned – that trying to determine when you are hungry is an exercise in self-deception, that there are times when you need to have permission to eat when you want, that habits are the key to long-term weight loss.

Kathleen[/u]
Last edited by Kathleen on Sun Dec 30, 2018 6:35 pm, edited 98 times in total.

blueskighs
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Post by blueskighs » Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:36 pm

The willingness to diet – to deny yourself the food that your body needs – is indicative of a willingness to deny yourself what you need
Kathy,

I think this is an excellent insight, and your sharing of your incredible journal entries was very moving. I really beleive in NO S I hope you have found your "home" here,

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Jammin' Jan
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Post by Jammin' Jan » Tue Sep 16, 2008 7:41 pm

Welcome to No-S! Even if you have days that you are noting as "failures" just keep going. Even if you fail at one meal, just keep going for the rest of the day.

Remember that we are here to support your efforts!
"Self-denial's a great sweetener of pleasure."
(Patrick McGoohan's "The Prisoner")

howfunisthat
Posts: 605
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Post by howfunisthat » Wed Sep 17, 2008 11:06 am

Kathy,

I've read every word of your blogging....and wish I was right next door to sit & chat...give you a hug & tell you it'll all be okay. Blogging is so helpful...but sometimes it also helps to have a person to "chat" with...please know that if you want someone to check in with, I check my computer messages often every day. If you feel like sending a PM to me, I promise to answer. I'd be happy to be your cyber-friend though this, if you want one....

I'm in your corner Kathy....this WILL work....be patient with yourself & it WILL work. It took a long time for all of us to have the eating habits we do so reversing them is not instant. Tell yourself today that you'll do this today...and worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Succeed today....just today....and when tomorrow comes you can work on that day. One day of success at a time....

I'm off to work on today...I'll check in with your posts later this afternoon.

Hang in there Kathy....janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

Kathleen
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Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:11 pm

DAY 9 - 9/16/08: SUCCESS (2 EXCEPTION DAYS AVAILABLE TO BE USED)

It's nice to blog instead of just to keep a journal. I went back to my original post and gave more of an explanation of how I am viewing this diet. The context of the diet is what I weigh on Christmas Day, since I have involved my children in my dieting strategies. The reason for this is twofold: sadly, I have a 14 year old daughter who is overweight, and I want her to learn from my mistakes; and the trend towards obesity for all children is frightening.

I look on this diet like I look on fidelity in marriage. It's a big deal if you break it. Last week, as I was trying to adjust to this approach, I started a binge with one carrot. How could one carrot be a problem? It can be. It's a slip right off a cliff, especially after my attempt at the "eat when you're hungry" approach.

That "eat when you're hungry" approach really got me into trouble. I got a chuckle out of Reinhard's discussion of "eat only when you're hungry" being a path to self-deception: "It's harder to deceive yourself when the question is, "Is it mealtime?" opr "Is this a brownie and is it 4 a.m. Monday morning?" (p. 51). I have learned to eat incredible amounts of food, with "unconditional permission to eat" (a term from the book Intuitive Eating) setting me up for hour-long binges. My kids named that diet The Peanut Cluster Diet, since I ate lots of peanut clusters. I also ate lots of popcorn so that I could fill up on popcorn. In fairness to that book, I think what it is trying to do is get people to learn how to eat in a naturally thin way. It's a lot of work, and I have more things to to with my life than that. In my trying to eat as a naturally thin person, I ended up learning to eat more and more and more and more. I bought a container of 12 1/2 pounds of popcorn from Costco last month. I'm down to about 3 pounds left. In less than one month, I've had 9 pounds of popcorn. Had I continued on that diet, I could have gained another 30 or 40 pounds in the next year.

What strikes me about The No S book is the idea that those countries without an obesity problem have this in common: "traditional structures around how and when people eat" (p. 18 - 19). The Hunger Satisfaction Diet (eat after a hunger growl) dispenses with all structure. My first lapse was joining my family in a buffet lunch after my nephew's college graduation. Was I going to sit there and not eat? I also was skipping meals with my family, and I was eating at all sorts of other times.

The No S Diet provides structure but also allows for "Special Days". I'm making a bit of a change to the diet in that I am defining Special Days as Saturday, Sunday, and Sick, but I am also adding a rolling count of two exceptions per month. That's the explanation for the (2) after DAY 9 - SUCCESS. I'm not having any more failures, now that I achieved my first success on DAY 5. In my mind, DAY 1 is like dating, and DAY 5 is like marriage. Once you're married, you're faithful. It may seem like semantics to define a day when I eat what I want as an EXCEPTION rather than a SPECIAL day, but I'm being faithful to the diet as I define it.

In my extensive reading of dieting books, I was very intrigued by the ideas of Richard B. Stuart, who wrote a book called "Thin in a Fat World." It's now out of print. In one of his books, he wrote about the importance of "perfect compliance." What happens with "perfect compliance" is you simply set aside internal discussion about whether or not you are going to follow a diet at any particular time. Reinhard discusses this in his book. What happens if you are making exception after exception is you are continuing the internal discussion about whether or not you should be able to pop a lifesaver in your mouth, or a caramel, or whatever.

In my diet journal, I've had a focus on this one issue of "perfect compliance." About 10 years ago, I attended a going-away party for a co-worker, and she didn't eat any of the cake for her party. Why? She was very thin. Maybe she just is naturally thin and that's her nature to not eat sweets even on special occasions like that. For the rest of us, it was a good reason to eat up cake. I've often thought about that party. I wish I could be someone who naturally turns down cake on an occasion like that, but I'm sure not that person. This diet, I think, will help me to become thin without the obsession of someone constantly struggling with whether or not to eat something at any particular time.

I don't want to define when I take exceptions. I just want some exceptions. If I want to take the kids to TCBY for yogurt cones on a Wednesday because it's cheaper then, fine. If I want to enjoy a coffee drink on a cold morning, fine. I just have a budget for it. It's up to me to decide how to spend that allocation of exception days. I'm using Reinhard's goal of two special days per month other than Saturday or Sunday, but I'm removing the necessity of defining special in any special way and just saying it's an exception day.

Thanks for your encouragement. I am sick to death of going from one diet to another and going on expeditions to find size 18 pants I can squeeze into, since I resolved long ago NEVER to go into women's sizes. I'm also aware that health problems are coming my way, including joint pain and diabetes. My ability to care for our family, to be a good wife and mother, is going to be compromised by my weight. Also, I see it as an important part of care-taking to model the behavior I want the children to emulate as adults. In fact, I would be very happy if my 14 year old daugher followed this diet already. When I took her to the doctor for her annual physical in April, she was 5'2" (40th percentile of height) and 142 pounds (85th percentile of weight). When I her age, I was 5' and 108. After my growth spurt, I was 5'6 1/2" (current height) and 132 pounds. Now I'm over 200 pounds. It scares me to death what she'll weigh in a few years. I may have health problems myself, but I am more motivated to help her to figure out weight management than I am motivated to help myself. Somehow, what you want for your children is almost more reflective of values than what you want for yourself because it is so motivating.

In the final analysis, the No S Diet is so compelling a diet for me because the "traditional structures around how and when people eat" (p. 18 - 19) are maintained while the diet uses that very structure to dampen down on the internal drive to eat as much as possible whenever possible. Eating, after all, is social. It meets physical needs, but it is also social.

It's going to be a difficult adjustment for me, so I appreciate the encouragement!

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:03 am, edited 7 times in total.

blueskighs
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Post by blueskighs » Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:21 pm

The Hunger Satisfaction Diet (eat after a hunger growl) dispenses with all structure.
Katheleen, I too tried many times to eat "intuitively" or "according to hunger". As a binge eater it was always a dismal failure for me too! Curiously as I have stayed on No S for almost 6 months, a level of "intuitive" eating has kicked in that I have not had probably since my binge eating disorder blossomed more than 40 years ago.

I have become much better in selecting the "right foods" for me for a particular meal ... I am calling right foods, foods that are tasty and and satisfying and the "right amounts" I am much more fluid in my food choices and volumes and that feels great.

But it is also something that has happened over almost six months and I am certain I still have a lot of growth in this area.

So for me, intuitive eating alone is too much "freedom", and regular diets are too much "discipline". the No S diet for me provides just the right amount of freedom and discipline and I am finding it is completely effective on many levels, from losing weight to profoundly altering my relationship with food and permeating my entire life.

The issue of "perfect compliance" is an interesting one, I think Reinhard refers to it as "strictness." I have found that observing "perfect compliance/strictness" with my N days has had huge benefits and I do not have one single regret for using the application of my will power in this regard,

so glad you are here, and will be glad to give all the encouragement you need and want :D

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:02 am

DAY 10 - 9/17/08: SUCCESS (2)

My dinner plate was piled high with food, and my 7 year old told me I wasn't following the diet. She said the plate had two snacks (an apple and a carrot) and seconds (a second beef taco). It all fit on one dinner plate, so I consider myself following the diet, but I was amused by my daughter's perception!

I do think that the key to dieting is "perfect compliance". With this diet, there is perfect compliance on specific days and "unconditional permission to eat" (a phrase from Intuitive Eating) on other days. The tricky part is those times when you are surprised by the situation you find yourself in. I found myself at a buffet after my nephew's college graduation in June. Was I going to sit there like some dieting martyr and sip water while my family ate lunch? No.

I think that, for me, the best way to address this is to allocate a certain number of exception days per month. I'll go with two, since that was where Reinhard ended up with exception days. For these days, I can simply decide I'll take a day. That will give me the freedom I want to just decide, heck, for no special reason but just because, I want to take the kids to Dairy Queen on a nice summer evening.

This allows freedom within "perfect compliance." I don't have to justify the specialness of an S day, so I cannot get into the trap of justifying totally absurd special days.

Reinhard states that S days are special, and it's best not to have a set number, since you could have a clump of special days such as between Thanksgiving and New Years. Here is what he says about S Days: "Just look at the calendar, and you'll know when you can take it and when you can't. This clarity is powerful. It means you'll have a hard time abusing or extending the exception without it being very obvious what you are doing. It limits the scope for self-deception. Yes, you can abuse this rule by counting your hamster's second cousin's birthday as an S day or by gorging yourself with gallons of ice cream every weekend, but you can't do it without knowing you're being a bozo. And most of us, most of the time, will not knowingly be bozos." (p. 95). Sorry, Reinhard, but I disagree here. I think I'm a master at self-deception. I spent the summer interpreting every noise in my stomach as a hunger growl -- and it was off to the races!

The author did warn against counting S days outside the weekend: "There's no hard limit to the number of special days you can take because people from different countries with different religions and different social circles celebrate different holidays. Sometimes these may fall all at once within a narrow time frame. But I'd say if you're consistently taking more than two non-weekend special days a month, you may want to consider clamping down a bit. Don't obsess about keeping track of non-weekend S days." (p. 107). Since there can be clumps of special days, I think I'll have to accumulate exception days at a rate of two per month to be used whenever I want for whatever reason I want. I don't have to justify the usage, so I don't have to be debating about whether or not to count my hamster's second cousin's birthday. It shouldn't be that difficult to track the number of exceptions I have available. I can just mark the number available on the calendar for each day.

I got on Amazon and ordered Richard Stuart's two books that I read several years ago, "Act Thin, Stay Thin" and "Slim Chance in a Fat World". They're both out of print, but I can get them through Amazon. I threw them out because the authors of Intuitive Eating said to throw out all your old diet books. Now I'd like to look at what this author said about "perfect compliance." If you do follow diets with perfect compliance, you end up in awkward social situations and/or you get tired of it and want to just enjoy whatever you want. If you don't follow a diet with perfect compliance, you end up always debating with yourself whether or not you can allow yourself some food now, and you don't lose weight. I like the idea of perfect compliance on N days only with the ability to eat what you want on S days.

I'm a stay at home Mom who has children in school. Last week and this week were dedicated to getting off the ground on this diet. I told my husband I'm on vacation because my one and only priority is this diet. I want to be set with this diet and then put it on the back burner. I've had to go through a rough adjustment from the Hunger Satisfaction Diet, but I'm happy that I dived ino this diet instead of trying to adjust slowly. It's been painful, but this week with three successes now was actually a lot less painful than last week, when I had four failures before my first success.

Kathleen

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Just Starting Out

Post by Gigianne » Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:07 am

Hi Kathleen, I am also starting this diet as my kids start school. I am very excited about it because it is the first diet I have ever started that I think will really work. In fact, my only problem so far is that it seems too good to be true! We'll see, I guess. I have been on the diet a week, and I love it. There are many times when I want to have a snack or a sweet, but it is easier to resist than on other diets because I know Saturday and Sunday will be here soon enough.

I like the way the diet delineates the work week from the weekend. As a stay at home mom, it is often hard for me to feel as if I get a weekend at all, because there is sometimes so much MORE work (meals, cleaning, driving kids around, running everyone's social schedule) that it seems I am the only one in the family NOT getting a weekend. With this diet, the weekends feel special again, because there is some treat in these two days for me too.

I also love the fact that the diet doesn't interfere with what I cook for everyone else. I noticed that I have become more focused on a satisfying meal because I only get three a day. I also noticed that I am eating much more fruit and vegetables. I think there are two reasons for this. One is that I need something a little sweet. The other reason is more subtle. I think before, I had this subconscious belief that I would eat fruit for a snack later, so every time I made a meal, I would "put off" the fruit until later. Of course, when later came, I would eat a sweet, usually something chocolate! Now, I am eating fruit at breakfast and lunch, and a vegetable with dinner, so my nutrition has improved already.

I have about 40 pounds to lose, but I am optimistic this time. I actually haven't dieted at all in years because I had come to believe there was nothing that would work, that they were all a scam or impossible to follow for very long. I tried Atkins for ONE day and I thought I would die! Anyway, I hope this No S Diet really works because I could see sticking with this plan for the rest of my life. Good luck! :D
Gigianne

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Post by howfunisthat » Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:57 am

Ginianne & Kathy...Just wanted to chime in and say that I'm a stay-at-home mom too....trapped in a house all day long with FOOD in the kitchen! Yikes!! I'm on Day 54...my best defence has been to stay busy. I know that sounds like stupid advice to someone who probably is busier at home than at a desk somewhere...'cause I'm sure you are both very busy. I homeschool two of my teens, run a small home business, and chase after my 3-year old....but there are moments when I'm not busy...okay...maybe there are seconds somedays :lol: . There are times when I'm idle and drift into the kitchen. Then I have to RUN and find something to do. Because I would much rather dust the living room or vaccum or get outside and weed the garden than continue being overweight. The kitchen/pantry is enemy territory for me and I avoid it like the plague if I'm feeling weak. So if it helps, make a list of 20 things you can do and keep it near the kitchen...if you feel you're going to eat something between meals then you'll have something to fill your time with. I'd rather fill my time than my stomach. I'm treating this like a battle...I'm serious...I'm determined...I'm planning strategies...and I WILL be an "AFTER" picture, not an eternal "BEFORE" picture.

The first few week truly are the worst so hang in there!!!! You CAN do this!!!

janie
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:44 pm

Gigianne,

I agree with you on how wonderful it is to be able to eat with the family. Over the summer, when I was trying to eat only after a hunger growl, I was constantly missing meals and then stuffing myself later. I must admit that I learned a lot about hunger growls that I didn't know. For example, it seems that your stomach growls much sooner after a large meal than after a small meal. Stomach growls can be indicative of the stomach digesting food. It's not necessarily indicative of the stomach emptying.

Anyway, it's wonderful to predictably be able to sit down and eat with my family. Our kitchen is stocked with snack food -- popcorn and graham crackers and chips and ice cream bars. Yesterday, I went to Costco and bought carrots and nectarines and grapes and string cheese. I buy Reinhard's argument that healthy snacking leads to unhealthy meals because you've already satisfied the craving for healthy foods, but my kids eat snacks because the schools have snacktimes. I'll do the best I can by them.



Janis,

I remember those years of hardly having time to floss my teeth, but they are in the past for me. My kids are in school all day, and my husband travels all week for work. I'm home alone with the dog. I had an interview in June, I told the interviewer that I could not work in the summer, and I was contacted on Labor Day to see if I was still interested. As a result, I am just waiting to see if this interview develops into a part-time job. I decided to take last week and this week as a vacation to get this diet off the ground.

We have a puppy. She kept me awake from 3 to 4 AM this morning yipping. I put her out at 3, I brought her back in, and she kept on yipping. Finally, she went to sleep. I lay in bed thinking "intermittent reinforcement." This puppy has slept through the night since April. Why was she awake?

I have a guess -- my 14 year old took her out the other night and had the puppy sleep with her. Now, the puppy wants to snuggle next to a human instead of sleep alone in a kennel. After the "intermittent reinforcement" of yipping and getting to spend a night sleeping with a human, this puppy is going to have to go through a lot of nights of yipping and being ignored before she gives up and goes back to sleeping through the night.

What does that have to do with this diet? I think that it's important to follow the diet with "perfect compliance" -- as I brought up in an earlier post, it reminds me of fidelity in marriage. Sure, a marriage can survive infidelity like this diet can survive with failures, but it would be a lot easier just not to have failures, just to be completely committed to no failures.

I'm looking at other posts like yours and seeing SUCCESS days for weekend days, which are supposed to be S DAYS. I think I understand the wisdom of S DAYS as being ones where there are no rules. Why call an S DAY a success if there are no rules? There's a theory in weight management called "set point" which more or less states that you are always going to revert back to prior weight or you're going to be miserable maintaining an unnaturally low weight. The beauty of the S DAYS as being predictably on the weekend is that you can look forward to them, and it's a way for your body to "let loose" after the deprivation of no snacks, no sweets, no seconds.

From all my research on weight loss, I have to pull up the scariest quote I found. This is from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic:


“Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation dietâ€

The S Days are what distinguish the No S Diet from others. It's a way for the body to adjust to a lower weight in its own time. It's brilliant. I have tried figuring out weight loss for so many years that it's been a type of hobby. After this summer, I realized that I need to stick to meals, and I recognized the importance of having exceptions, but it didn't occur to me to have days that were predictably off days. This is what makes the diet work. This is what makes it possible to lose weight and not feel like you're starving all the time.

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:38 pm

Kathleen...You write so well! I feel as if I'm just sitting at your table and we're chatting.

I absolutely agree that the "S" days are exactly what's missing in the other 9,000 diets out there. To have no rules on the weekends makes the weekday dieting so much more bearable. I change my "S" days sometimes to Fridays & Sundays since we have some friends we meet with most Friday nights for dinner. There is always dessert so I'd rather take Friday as an "S" day and then have Saturday back to a Green day. As long as I just have two Yellows a week I feel as if I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to.

I'm finding that the longer I do this (this is Week 8 ), the more I feel comfortable on weekdays and uncomfortable on the weekends. When there are no rules I know I am a bite away from being an idiot and eating anything in my path. When I live within the "three plates a day" rule, I feel less stressed. I really do believe this is how I'll life the rest of my life. Oops...did I really SAY that? Usually when I say such things I end up binging....but this time it feels so different....as if I'm starting to be in control instead of food being in control of me.

Anyway...didn't mean to blab on & on....oh...did you start your Habitcal yet? It's hugely helpful....may seem silly at first, but once you get a couple of weeks on there it's motivational. I can't tell you how many times I've NOT eaten something because I didn't want to add a RED day to my calendar....and I'll do pretty much anything right now to eat like a thin person and have food be a non-issue.

Take care Katheen....janie
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 2:55 pm

Janie,

I agree that S DAYS are the key. I think you wrote something about how you take care of the N days, and the S days take care of themselves. I'm trying to take care of this N day.

I had breakfast at 6:30 AM this morning, and now it is nearing 10. I leave in about 1/2 hour to go volunteer at the school. I was just in the kitchen, and those nectarines and grapes are calling my name. I have trained myself to eat at the first sign of hunger. Well, what I found with my Hunger Satisfaction Diet is that my stomach actually would growl when I came into the presence of food. I thought that hunger growls were strictly an internal physical change and could not be impacted by external events, but I learned differently! Ever have a child run into a parking lot? The heart beats faster even though you aren't moving. It turns out, I learned, that stomach noises are responsive to the environment just like heartbeats are.

The September, 2008 issue of Cooking Light magazine has an article called "Go ahead, give in". It references a 2007 Tufts University study of healthy women that showed that 91 percent report having food cravings. One coauthor, Susan Roberts, said, "You first have to accept that having cravings is normal, but you don't have to give in to every one... The people in our research who manag their weight the best ar not those who crave foods less often but those who give in some of the time."

"Some of the time", for us, means on S Days. I want to be on this diet for the rest of my life as well. I am sick to death of dieting and reading about diets and being obese. Sick to death. And, what is worse, I have an overweight child.

Thanks for the support. It's about 38 hours until an S Day. As far as I'm concerned, an S Day starts at midnight!

Kathleen

PS. I did set up a Habical. The first four days are red, then a green day, then two yellow days, and finally three green days. I don't want any more red days!

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Stick With it, Kathleen

Post by Gigianne » Thu Sep 18, 2008 3:48 pm

Hi Kathleen and Janie,
I think hearing the experiences of other people is going to be helpful to me. This is the first time I have ever communicated with anyone in this way. Kathleen, make sure you eat a big meal for each of your three meals. I find it helps to eat a protein with every meal. I stay full longer when I do that, especially for breakfast. Two eggs along with toast or cereal or waffles and fruit or whatever will help you to eat lunch a little later, which will help you survive until dinner. Don't skimp on the meals or you'll be miserable.

One of my daughters used to be overweight. I worried about it constantly and felt it was my fault. I never said anything to her because I didn't want her focusing on it. I didn't think that would help. Pennsylvania has a law that the schools have to weigh the kids and send notes home in the mail to the parents of the ones that are over the normal BMI. I think this is horrible and cruel, and so for two years, I shredded them as soon as I got them. She never knew about these letters. When she was about 10 or 11, she started complaining to me about her weight and how she looked in clothes. I was very worried that she would fall into a dieting pattern, which I know from experience just makes a person focus more on food and makes it more of an issue. So I told her that she was still growing and that all she needed to do was eat four meatballs instead of eight at dinner or have three cookies instead of four. I told her dieting is bad and will make matters worse. She took my advice, and she is now a normal weight. Having inches to grow into helped. One of the great things about this diet is that it is healthy for anyone and doesn't mess up the way a person looks at food. There are no good foods or bad foods. When I told my daughter I couldn't have a cookie one day after school, she asked why. So I told her about this diet, and she laughed. She thought it was the most sensible thing she'd heard.

Good Luck.
I too can't wait for the weekend. Last week I started in the middle of the week and only had to go three days instead of five. This week is harder.

Gigianne
Gigianne

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:02 pm

Gigianne,

Don't worry about my limiting portion size at meals! Yesterday, my seven year old told me I had snacks and seconds on my one plate! It was multi-layered, but heck this is the first successful week. Last week, I started on Monday and had four straight failures before a success.

With my overweight teenage daughter, I would be happy if she followed this approach. She is very much influenced by what is in the home. She seems very concerned that she gets her share of the goodies before they are eaten up by her younger three siblings.

I'm making lunch now, and it will be big! Soup and a nectarine and a sandwich and a hard boiled egg and a carrot. I remember once thinking that I've already eaten before dinner -- in fact, I got into the habit of eating more than what was for dinner before dinner. Now, I need to load up on food at lunch so that I can last until dinner. My one and only focus right now is getting through N days with three platefuls of food only.

Thanks for the encouragement!

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:54 pm

5 PM: Sadly, my resolve is waivering. I want to eat. I really, really want to eat. The kids are watching TV, and I'm lying down. I'm going to prepare an early dinner and eat as much as I can fit on a plate. What I need to do here is look on these diets as only five days long. I have only 30 hours to go before I can eat what I want. The willingness to forego food now, even if I binge in two days, will slowly dampen my appetite. I cannot believe I got myself into the situation that I am in -- obese and starving all the time.

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:23 pm

6:30 PM: My dinner plate was loaded down with 1 carrot, rice, Chinese vegetables, a piece of chicken, a cup of granola with milk, a cheese stick, and a nectarine. I also had a glass of milk. I didn't even enjoy it. I just wanted to eat.

The Hunger Satisfaction Diet (eat only when hungry) was like tossing a flame into gasoline. I now have even more of a problem than I did when I started that diet last December. I seem to have no sense of self-control when it comes ot food.

I now have one day until I am on S Days. What I noticed this week is that I have had some moderate meals -- a couple of breakfasts and a lunch. Over time, my meals become more moderate even though I have eliminated snacks, seconds, and sweets on weekdays.

I've been very kind to myself in giving myself two entire weeks to think about this diet and adjust to it, but once I get through tomorrow I need to return to a life that is at least minimally productive!

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:30 am

Kathleen...I wish I'd been online at 5:00 to respond. How did the rest of the day go? I want to just tell you to relax and not be so hard on yourself, but I know those words are easily said, and difficult to do. Take a deep breath and try not to overthink this. This diet is not like the others...if you eat too much for one meal...or too much for 2 meals or 3 meals, it's okay, especially in the beginning. It seems as if the most important aspect of this right now is making it from one meal to the next without snacking. Developing that habit is essential so try not to worry about how much is on your plate....you'll find yourself eventually needing less & less food at each meal, but try to conquer one thing at a time. If you try to eat less at meals, have no snacks or sweets or seconds all at the same time it'll seem overwhelming. So....just three plates...don't worry about what's on them...just no sweets. Three plates...three meals...maybe this can be Step One....worry about Step Two in a few weeks.

I'll check in with you in the morning....hang in there Kathleen....just one more day of three plates....one more day...you can do it....

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Fri Sep 19, 2008 2:22 am

Janie,
All I'm trying to do is have three platefuls at meals and that's it. My kids are teasing me about the pile-up on those plates. I do think that a dive-in approach (perfect compliance) will make it easier very quickly, but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair. Tomorrow morning, I think I'll feel better because it will be so few hours until an S Day, and it will be very encouraging to me that I got through an entire week of N Days with all successes. Thanks for caring -
Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:10 am

Kathleen....I had lost track of which days you had a GREEN day. A whole week of success?!!! THAT is fabulous! The first few weeks really are the hardest....and you've already accomplished one.

I do care...and I'll be here to cheer you on as long as you want me to...and I'm sure there will be days in the not-so-distant future that I'll need some cheering too....

Well done Kathleen....you'll finish this week strong! I'll check in with you tomorrow...

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:12 pm

Summary of outcome from start of diet on September 8, 2008 (DAY 1) to present:
September, 2008: 4 FAILURE (first four days), 5 SUCCESS, 2 S DAYS

Summary for the current month:
DAY 1 - 9/8/08: FAILURE
DAY 2 - 9/9/08: FAILURE
DAY 3 - 9/10/08: FAILURE
DAY 4 - 9/11/08: FAILURE
DAY 5 - 9/12/08: SUCCESS
DAY 6 - 9/13/08: S DAY
Day 7 - 9/14/08: S DAY
DAY 8 - 9/15/08: SUCCESS
DAY 9 - 9/16/08: SUCCESS (2)*
DAY 10 - 9/17/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 11 - 9/18/08: SUCCESS (2)

*(2) means Two exceptions are available. Exceptions accumulate at a rate of two per month.

Here's my summary of my efforts so far. I have had a terrible time adjusting to this because I spent the summer trying to follow what I called the Hunger Satisfaction Diet (eat only after you experience a hunger growl) and the kids called The Peanut Cluster Diet. This morning, my 14 year old daughter said this was basically The Peanut Cluster Diet with restrictions.

I have done lots and lots of research on dieting, and I don't think that obesity is much the result of emotional eating or emotional problems. If anything, what strikes me most is that some of the nicest people I know are overweight. Very giving people. Very caring people. People I hope my children will learn to emulate. If anything, obese people tend to be overly giving rather than overly selfish and self-indulgent.

What I think happens to most obese people is they are too willing to restrict their food intake and they end up with what the authors of Intuitive Eating call "diet backlash". Basically, with "diet backlash", your internal drive to survive is triggered because your body thinks you are in a famine and you binge-eat. Following that theory, I accepted the idea that it is important to give yourself "unconditional permission to eat" as a way to not binge. Eventually, your body will recognize that there is no fear of starvation, and you'll return to a more normal eating pattern.

In December, my husband promised me that he would give me anything I ask for if I lose 20 pounds in one year. At that point, I had spent years following all sorts of diets -- some that I had concocted on my own and some that are more mainstream like Weight Watchers. In December, I accepted the Intutive Eating approach of eating whatever you want and eventually your body will eat more normally and you'll lose weight. I gained almost 10 pounds (from 205 to 214) by early June. That's when I decided to retrict my eating to eating only after a hunger growl. By the end of August, with lots and lots of disruption to normal mealtime, I was down to 212. Then I decided I couldn't follow this diet because I was eating at odd times and disrupting social mealtime with my family. By September 4, I was at an all-time high of 216. That's when I decided to write down everything I eat and figure out why I ate and restrict my eating to only social times, mealtimes, and after a hunger growl.

It was over Labor Day weekend that my sister in law brought up The No S Diet. She had brought it up in July, but at that point I was still a believer in listening to your body and only eating after a hunger growl.

Last week, I started the diet, and it was just too much adjustment to eat only three platefuls of food all day. My eating had become just too erratic, and I tended to eat large quantities because I never knew when my next stomach growl would occur. It took four solid days of trying before I got my first SUCCESS. After that were two S DAYS. My husband quipped, "You sure took advantage of those days." Now I've had four SUCCESS days, and I think it will be easy to have today be a SUCCESS day because tomorrow is an S DAY.

The only modification I am making to this diet is the expansion of S DAYS to include an accumulation of two exception days per month and to eliminate special days. There will still be Saturdays, Sundays, and sick days. I'm too good at deceiving myself into defining a day as special when it isn't. Also, I can create special days just by deciding to take the kids out for a treat.

It really saddened me last month when I took the kids to TCBY as a treat at the end of swim lessons. There I was, not eating. I realized that day that any diet I was on needed to allow me -- without guilt -- to have TCBY with the kids after swim lessons or to enjoy an unexpected and unplanned buffet lunch following my nephew's graduation. My plan is to take my first EXCEPTION DAY on October 1. TCBY has discounts on Wednesdays, and I can bring the kids for a treat and have one myself! The thought of participating in a treat like that is very motivating for me.

So -- here I am, after years and years wasted trying to find a diet that works for me. I've felt before that I had found a good diet for me, and I was wrong. I have made a commitment to myself that I will follow this diet until Christmas. I will not weigh myself until Christmas Day because weight provides more information and may result in my questioning my decision. My size 18 jeans are still so tight that they feel painted on, but at least I can predictably have dinner with my family. I am hoping that, by Christmas Day, I'll be back down to 205, which is where I started with the Peanut Cluster Diet last December. I don't expect to lose any more than 10 pounds in about 15 weeks.

It is very helpful to blog, and it is very helpful to read other blogs. I think that the key to this diet is to have "perfect compliance" on N Days. I want to have all my days between now and Christmas (I counted -- 97 days from now) be S DAY, SUCCESS DAY, or EXCEPTION DAY. By Christmas, I will have built a habit. These past two weeks have been very hard. I told my husband I was taking the first two weeks of school as a vacation, but in truth it's been no vacation. I told myself I could take all the time I wanted in these two weeks to look at what I was doing and modify this diet in any way I wanted, but at the end of the two weeks, I needed to make a commitment until Christmas, when I'll weigh myself. Christmas falls on a Friday and will be an EXCEPTION DAY. What follows is two S DAYS. During that time, I'll figure out what I want to do and will make a commitment until May 1, which will be the next time I weigh myself.

I've read in one of Stephen Covey's books that you can figure out how to use your time by thinking of what you will be happy abut and what you will regret when you are on your deathbed. If I was dying today, I would most regret not having figured out how to be of normal weight and I will feel most sad about all the time I have spent obsessed by dieting.

The nice thing about this diet is that I do see that it has the potential to just be a habit, like brushing your teeth in the morning, something you reliably do without much thought or effort. That's where I want to be -- doing something reliably that helps me to have a normal weight and that doesn't take much thought or effort.

Kathleen

PS. I've had my two weeks of being focussed on this diet. Now I want to work on this being a habit without much thought or effort. As part of that, I will try to just update my blog on Fridays. What I suspect is that Thursdays will be the hardest for me because I will have gone three days without snacks, seconds, or sweets and still have another full day to go before getting to an S Day. Knowing that I will blog on Friday will help me to get through Thursdays. It will be a kind of reward to put up straight SUCCESS days on Fridays.
Last edited by Kathleen on Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:42 pm, edited 21 times in total.

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Post by howfunisthat » Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:54 pm

Don't worry about what your daughter thinks...this is a plan to learn to eat normally. Wow...what a concept! I've never eaten normally in all my life! One thing at a time....three plates a day without worrying about anyone else....you're in the home stretch for the first successful week. You can do this...

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by blueskighs » Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:41 pm

but right now I'm just gripping the edge of the chair.
Kathleen, in the beginning especially I was gripping the edge of my chair a lot! For me Mondays were especially difficult for two months. I had "habits" of pretty much eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it.

I was not used to the discipline of the NO S approach. I have to say very honestly, that I have not one single regret for all those days, moments that I gripped my chair, adding discipline and a secure structure to my eating as opposed to crazy dieting rigidity and insanity has made all the difference.

Reinhard says it gets easier and from my experience it does. Gripping the chair is a good thing to do until habit starts to take over and as long as you keep your N days clean, it will!

Congratulations on your SUCCESSFUL week!

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by Kathleen » Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:24 pm

Thanks for the encouragement. Today was an EASY day because I knew that tomorrow I am free to eat whatever I want. I only have 6 1/2 hours to go before the first S DAY begins, and I think I won't have any problem making it. It struck me that this is the exact opposite of the normal diet approach -- what the book Intuitive Eating calls "last supper eating" before a diet begins. We leave for a weekend with my brother in law's family at their cabin -- always a wonderful time because we all get along and enjoy each other's company. Because I'm with my brother in law's family, I'm less likely to have a feeding frenzy, but I'll be sure to enjoy what I eat and indulge in a Haagen-Daz ice cream bar on Sunday night so that I am in good shape to begin five days of SUCCESS. And, I have a job interview for a part-time job next week, so I hope that I will be able to slide right into having the No S Diet as part of my life, with minimal effort or thought. After all the research I have done, this diet looks to me like nothing short of brilliant! The key, however, I think, is perfect compliance with N days. Do that, and everything else falls into place.
Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:33 pm

Hi Kathleen...just wondering how you're doing today...

janie
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Post by Kathleen » Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:17 pm

Summary for the current month:
DAY 1 - 9/8/08: FAILURE
DAY 2 - 9/9/08: FAILURE
DAY 3 - 9/10/08: FAILURE
DAY 4 - 9/11/08: FAILURE
DAY 5 - 9/12/08: SUCCESS
DAY 6 - 9/13/08: S DAY
Day 7 - 9/14/08: S DAY
DAY 8 - 9/15/08: SUCCESS
DAY 9 - 9/16/08: SUCCESS (2)*
DAY 10 - 9/17/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 11 - 9/18/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 12 - 9/19/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 13 - 9/20/08: S DAY (2)
Day 14: 9/21/08: S DAY (2)

*(2) means Two exceptions are available. Exceptions accumulate at a rate of two per month.



janie,

My weekend went fine. I learned a valuable lesson.

This is from page 102 of the book: "Overeating is going to happen on some weekends, especially at the beginning, when your body hasn't become habituated to eating less. Don't let this upset you too much. As your weekday habits improve, they'll unconsciously carry over to the weekend. Snacking will no longer be automatic; you'll be full sooner because you've been eating less; and sweets will taste sweeter so you require less to get your fix. You'll still probably eat more on the weekends, but it will be less more than before. Sort of miraculously obvious, isn't it?"

That's not exactly what happened. We were visiting my brother in law's family at their cabin in Wisconsin for a glorious fall weekend.

I ate 2 1/2 doughnuts and eggs and sausage for breakfast. I had tons of chips and then tacos for lunch. I ate pumpkin bars. At 1 PM, I didn't feel too well and took a nap. At 3, I used the bathroom -- several times. I didn't go on the boat ride. I got up at about 5:30 and felt better for the rest of the night.

My husband lectured me that night about how, if you can eat everything in sight, maybe you still shouldn't. He asked me if I was embarassed that I ate so much I got a stomach ache. I told him that, yes, I was embarassed. I could even describe myself as mortified.

Actually, I also felt encouraged by this. My body revolted against overeating. It occurred to me that, by following the N Day rules, I won't be able to overeat significantly on S Days.

This was lifted from another blog: "Take care of the N Days, and the S Days take care of themselves." I think it may be my motto for this diet.

Tonight, I'll have a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar, and then I'll brace for another five N Days of no snacks, no sweets, no seconds. I'm expecting this week to be easier than last week.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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SOMETIMES. . .

Post by la_loser » Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:37 pm

Kathleen,

A belated welcome to No S from me. Oh my goodness, I think you're doing great. It was several weeks, maybe over a month, before I could really claim to have five N days in a row. Think of it this way--you didn't develop your old eating habits (any of them) over night -- or even over a month or a year. Why in the world would we expect to make this significant a change in a short period of time.

I had the same reactions to one or two "big" S days; although I knew that it was permissible for me to eat that much, I just felt so stuffed and physically ill. (not from guilt-just from my body saying STOP IT!!!). I suspect it's kind of like we're reprogramming our bodies to eat a normal amount of food. When one has lap-bank surgery or other bariatric surgery, I understand that part of the way that works is that you simply can't hold very much food at a time and if you overeat, you are truly uncomfortable. With No S, we're just adjusting our portions and total consumption and our stomachs eventually have to tell us to say no--if we don't do not first.

Once you've got the hang of it, you'll be able to more easily include one of the words in that 14 word diet that I think is critical; it was left off of the book cover. . .that word is SOMETIMES. . . "except SOMETIMES on days that start with S." That is huge for me--but I wasn't able to include that until many weeks in. As Reinhard has said and has been quoted in this thread. "take care of the N days and the S days will take care of themselves." Make sure your N days are so ingrained that you really aren't thinking about avoiding those snacks and sweets and seconds. . . THEN you will be able to enjoy them on S days. . . SOMETIMES!

Last night when my dinner was served at a favorite restaurant, I took one look at my entree' and asked for a carry-out carton; I instinctively knew that although I COULD, within the rules, have all of it, but I knew that I'd be miserable and besides, I wanted to save room for their delicious coconut cream pie which I also split with a friend. At the beginning my No S adventure, I would have scarfed it all down, feeling smug that it was 'ok' but I'd have unable to move afterwards!

So be patient and let time be your friend. And now we will face five "N" days when we don't have to overthink our eating! Over three months into No S, and only a handful of other people really know I'm doing it. I wasn't about to share this with my spouse-he's a skinny mini and is skeptical of every "new" plan I find to lose weight. I'm still keeping my No S journey my little secret until it becomes obvious that it's working (a la when I have to buy new clothes-or can fit into some of the old jeans in my closet!) THEN, I can say, oh, yeah, I've been doing this thing. . . and no one even noticed-the eating, that is! That is, unless they might have noticed my gluttonous behaviors had diminished!

Good luck-we're all in your corner!
LA Loser. . . well on my way to becoming an LA Winner. :lol:

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Post by Kathleen » Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:14 am

LA Loser,

Thanks for the encouragement! I don't feel at all guilty about eating so much over the weekend. My one and only goal at this point is to have five days of Ns, and I think a lot of eating on the weekends will help me. Over time, I'll trust that my eating will diminish. I am confident that this week will be easier than last week was -- but we'll see!

As for the idea of sometimes having an N day on an S day, that concept is way too premature for me right now! I'm loading up my plate so much that my 12 year old son is saying You are a PIG! He's teasing. I don't mind. It is rather shocking to see how much food can be loaded on one plate.

The truth of the matter is that I am eating less by limiting my intake to three platefuls per day even though those plates are loaded down with food. My last diet trained me to binge at the first sign of a hunger growl. I was eating entire bowls of popcorn and five or six ice cream sandwiches at a time. It was amazing to me how effective that diet was in altering my eating. I would have been up 100 pounds had I continued with it. With the No S Diet, I'm confident I won't gain weight and I'll be able to make mealtime a routine, something that was lost with the last year's two ineffective and very disruptive diets.

Kathleen

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S days--gotta have 'em!

Post by la_loser » Mon Sep 22, 2008 4:11 am

Kathleen,

I think it sounds as if you have a good insight into what this is all about. And lest I be misunderstood, I didn't mean to imply that the SOMETIMES was a suggestion that anyone should make their S days into N days. Being able to indulge ourselves withing the rules is key in finding success with No S. And that ability to indulge is what sets it apart from other diets.

Rather, my point was that now that I've been doing this awhile, I've been, for the most part, able to to "not be an idiot"[ on S days (Reinhard's words), as in I will have a dessert or two on the weekend, maybe have an extra serving of a favorite food or whatever-but I don't force myself to have snacks, seconds AND sweets both days just for the sake of having them.

Having those treats make them extra special when I don't get to have them all the time!

I was on a diet previously that insisted that we only eat when we were TRULY hungry, but to relieve those little pangs in between with a handful of nuts. I don't know how many huge containers of peanuts I went through on that DIET> but I do know I gained weight-so I hear you when you talk about those growls.

Have a great NNNNN week!
LA Loser. . . well on my way to becoming an LA Winner. :lol:

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Post by howfunisthat » Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:11 am

Hi Kathleen....

Sounds like you had an insightful weekend! Sorry you were sick...but you learned from it & that's a positive out of a negative.

I agree with LA_Loser that you're right on track for really "getting" this plan. You're choosing one thing at a time....3 plates a day on "No S" days. Hang in there & the snacking will become easier & easier to avoid.

Have a great Monday!!! janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:47 pm

Janie,

I'm not sure I'm going to try anything beyond "Take care of the N Days, and the S Days will take care of themselves." The reason why is that the "unconditional permisison to eat" (a phrase from the book Intuitive Eating) on Saturday and Sunday is what gives me the ability to get through five days of no snacks, no sweets, and no seconds. My body gave me adequate feedback on Saturday that I won't be matching that level of overeating next Saturday! I didn't like having a stomach ache. I will be focusing on just the N Days at least until Christmas, and I will hold off on weighing myself until then to give my body time to reach a stable eating pattern.

Thanks for the encouragement. After all the diets I've tried, this diet seems to have the potential both for weight loss and for minimal disruption of my life.



LA Loser,

I had a similar experience with the diet of eat only after a hunger growl. I ended up constantly bingeing. In fact, that diet created binges. If you have no idea when you will be able to eat next because you have no idea when your stomach will growl next, you take full advantage of every stomach noise that you perceive. With this diet, you know you will eat at the next mealtime, and you know you have unrestricted eating on the weekends. That's very reassuring.

Kathleen

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Good Job, Kathleen!

Post by Gigianne » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:34 am

Hi Kathleen, I'm sorry I haven't checked back before now. I'm not used to this blogging thing. I too found the end of last week incredibly difficult, and I found today difficult too. I really indulged on my S days also. Let's see, I had a peanut butter cup Sunday at Bruster's ice cream place, a cupcake and cookies at our annual block party, Oreo cookies and button candy (you know those little dots of sugar that you peel off of long strips of paper). It was wonderful. I've been feeling empty all day. Also, two of my kids were home sick with this irritating head cold today, and I found myself feeling depressed. :( I wanted so badly to eat to make myself feel better. Eating sweets is so comforting. Maybe my meals weren't big enough to compensate for no snacking today. I will have to be more careful tomorrow so I don't get discouraged! I think this diet is working! Good luck with this week. I will try to check in every day so we can encourage each other. :)
Gigianne

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 2:03 am

Gigianne,

I'm not upset about the weekend. To me, it is part and parcel of understanding how much food feels good. Today, I ate too little. My son has been looking at my dinner plate heaped with food and making comments, so tonight I had a large but not grossly large plate of spaghetti with meatballs. Too little. I was grumpy. Tomorrow, I'll eat more. I think that my body will adjust to less food simply I am eating less often during the week. I wasn't a grazer. I was an inhaler! This diet take time, so I'm determined not to weigh myself until Christmas. My hope is that I lose 10 pounds by then.

Good luck to you, too. If I were to list everything I ate over the weekend, I would guess it would be somewhere around 8,000 calories. That's a lot, but my body is having to put up with having a lot less during the week because I cannot put as many calories on three plates as I used to eat in a day. I am looking on this situation with some humor, as in: How did I ever get to this point?

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 6:48 am

DAY 15 - 9/22/08: SUCCESS (2)

I can't sleep because I didn't have as much to eat as I am accustomed to eating. My stomach is making noises, which has been a trigger for me to eat. I have been lying in bed for about an hour telling myself that it will be easier next time if I pass the test this time, if I don't give in and have a midnight snack now.

I'm reading blogs of people who didn't continue posting. It seems that it is hard to get back up after a failure. I'm planning on not having a failure. One failure really weakens the ability to follow this diet. One failure. It's almost like an alcoholic taking one drink.

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:12 am

Mornin' Kathleen...

Listen to you...you are determined! Good for you!!!! I was on a type of one of those "Eat When Your Stomach Growls" diets (that obviously didnt work because I'm here), but the problem with some of them is that they tell you to eat when your stomach growls but not to stop when you are full. Well THAT doesn't work very well! Ha! It just trains ya to think that growling is a bad thing. Whenever my stomach growls these days I think, "YES!", because I know that if my stomach is growling, I'm out of fuel...and when I'm out of fuel, I'm using more calories than I put in. I might want to eat, but I want to fit into my jeans even more these days.

So...you made it through the first day of your SECOND successful week! Well done Kathleen!!!!

I'll check in with you later....janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:14 am

I made it through the night without eating. I spent some time reading old blogs. People tend to fail once, recover for a few days, then admit to failing and drop out of sight. I think failing even once is a big deal.

I've modified the No S Diet so that I predictably accumulate two exception days per month and don't have any S days except for sick, Saturday, and Sunday. I'm also going to add surgery, since I've had my share of those and have one more this coming month. If I'm going under some type of anathesia, I'm going to allow myself whatever I want to eat on that day, especially since you cannot eat anything until after the surgery.

I see that Reinhard is able to handle failure days. I just don't see that I am able to. Maybe some people can and some people can't. For me, one failure is likely to end this diet. I think what I'm going to do is work on accumulating a certain number of exception days so that I have a big buffer in case I have a slip and another one right after that. If I accumulate two exception points per month, I'm going to try to save one per month until I reach about ten exception points in total.

I'm going to think of other examples where one failure creates problems for a long time. I thought of a story that one of my son's friend's father told me. We are both Catholic, and so we take our children to church every week. I told him that, when we were at Disneyland, my husband brought up skipping Mass, and I said we'd be hearing about it when they are teenagers. The father told me that, one day, he was tired so he said to his kids that the family would just say some prayers and not attend Mass. The next week, the kids wanted to say some prayers. That went on for a time.

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:19 am

Janie,
The eat when you are hungry approach seemed ideal. They do say stop when you are full, but I had no idea what fullness was. All I knew was I couldn't eat until my next growl. My husband teased me a bit about this. Once, when my stomach growled, we were driving with the family. I said it growled, and he said, "Emergency stop!" I did learn one good thing from that diet, and the one good thing is that it is not an emergency if you are hungry. You can tolerate hunger. That one good thing will help me with this diet. I knew that I might be a little tired this morning if I didn't eat in the middle of the night, but I wasn't going to die, I wasn't going to be in great pain, and there would be no long-term consequences of a few hours of very mild hunger. In fact, I feel back to sleep.
Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:23 am

I just can't help but add another, "Good for you!!!!" You've made a lot of progress in just a week!

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 11:29 am

Janie,
Thank you. The first week -- four failures and one success -- was harder than last week, and this week is seeming to be easier than last week. I just keep thinking that the key to this diet is "perfect compliance." You have to make a commitment that you will never ever fail. I failed the first few days, but those days reminded me of my son trying to get up on water skiis. I didn't have the hang of it yet. Now I do, and now I need to make absolutely, positively sure that I don't fail. To me, it's like fidelity in marriage. It's a big deal if you fail, and you simply avoid situations where you might develop a relationship that's a problem. Reinhard has the "build fences around the law" analogy. My fence is going to be a stockpile of exceptions.
Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 23, 2008 10:39 pm

This is from pages 79 - 80 of Mindless Eating: "Simply thinking of food can make you hungry. Just like Pavlov's dogs, we salivate (subtly) when we hear, see, or smell something we associate with food -- like a shiny foil-wrapped piece of milk chocolate. Even though we haven't touched the chocolate, our pancreas may begin to secrete insulin, a chemical use to metabolize the upcoming sugar rush we're planning. This insulin lowers our blood sugar level, which makes us feel hungry. While drooling has never hurt anyone, the more actively you salivate, the more likely you are to be impulsive and to overeat."

It wasn't until going on the Hunger Satisfaction Diet that I learned about myself that the environment can bring on a hunger growl. I was always on the look out for a stomach noise, and I was like a lion crouching for a meal.

Now, with the No S Diet, I am learning to simply tune out any sense of hunger until the next meal, at least on weekdays. This afternoon went smoothly. I know I'm not eating until dinner.

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:17 am

The word that comes to mind with this diet is "fidelity". Before I got married, I was worried about the possibility of being unfaithful. I simply decided that I would run from any relationship with another guy that had any hint whatsoever of being intimate. That's what Reinhard says about "build fences around the law." After marriage, it wasn't much of a thought. I did get into situations where I felt uncomfortable, but the second I realized what was happening, I was extricating myself as graciously as possible from the situation.

With this diet, I am recognizing that I need to set up my life to figure out how to minimize the possibility of having a failure. One way is to have rather late lunches, since I tend to weaken especially just before dinner. Another is to load up my plates and to allow myself whatever I want on the weekends. The most important way is to build up the number of exceptions per month so that I have a buffer against failures. If I want to take the kids to TCBY next Wednesday, I can -- and I won't have one ounce of guilt about it. It not anyone's birthday. It's not any holiday. It's just one day that I choose to name as an S Day. Since I only accumulate two exceptions per month and no special days, I need to manage the number. There is no evaluating if my hamster's second cousin's birthday should be considered an S Day. The potential for me to simply decide, night after night after night, to take the kids to TCBY or to Dairy Queen or to celebrate a new Scout rank for my son or to celebrate a child cantoring at church or to celebrate an Indian summer, was just too great in my case. I know my potential for self-deception too well. The S Day exception would have been every day. In fact, my son told me I could find calendars with holidays on almost every day of the year, and my daughter said that the saint book has Saints' Days every day of the year. They've suffered through endless diets of mine, too, so they know my potential for self-deception as well.

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:17 am

The word that comes to mind with this diet is "fidelity". Before I got married, I was worried about the possibility of being unfaithful. I simply decided that I would run from any relationship with another guy that had any hint whatsoever of being intimate. That's what Reinhard says about "build fences around the law." After marriage, it wasn't much of a thought. I did get into situations where I felt uncomfortable, but the second I realized what was happening, I was extricating myself as graciously as possible from the situation.
Kathleen,
you bring very interesting and thoughtful insight to the boards and I appreciate it,

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

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Post by Kathleen » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:48 pm

Day 16: 9/23/08: SUCCESS (2)

I see it. I see it I see it. I can have my life back. I don't have to be making eating decisions on a minute by minute basis: Am I hungry? Am I not? Was that a stomach noise or a hunger growl? Is this a good enough reason for an exception?

Let me tell you -- this is a terrible way to live. It is time-consuming. It is self-involved. It is degrading. The most important thing in the world is not how I eat, and dieting triggers a fear of starvation and fear of making one mistake and ending up back to the start. Dieting just took over my life. I hated it. I absolutely hated it.

This morning, I had coffee with a friend who has been away for a few months. I told her about this diet. She is naturally thin, and yet she does something rather similar. She has certain expectations for how she eats that are not based on how she feels at this moment. She has developed habits for eating that do not require a lot of conscious thought. The same cereal every morning for breakfast. Very few options at lunch. Variety at dinner. No snacks.

There is a comparison in the book Mindless Eating about eating being like a runner deciding to go a certain distance: "Think of a jogger. If she decides to jog on a treadmill until she's tired, she constantly has to ask herself, "Am I tired yet, am I tired yet, am I tired yet?" But if she says, "I'm going to jog down to the school and back," she doesn't have to constantly monitor how tired she is. She sets the target, and jogs until she's done." (p. 47)

I understand the difference between the Intuitive Eating approach of "Am I hungry?" and The No S Diet approach of "Is this a meal on one plate?".

My walking is like The No S Diet. Today, I am walking 1.5 miles -- no more and no less. My eating is now according to The No S Diet. I'm not constantly trying to evaluate my hunger level. Of course, my son tonight said, "All you ever do on this diet is eat." In actual fact, there's an awful lot of inhaling of food between meals that is no longer going on. He didn't see it. I didn't really see it. I was just constantly eating. All that is gone.

What freedom with this diet. What a relief to not be evaluating every minute of every day. What an incredible lack of HASSLE!!!

Kathleen

PS. If this book ever gets republished, I'd recommend a new name: The No Hassle Diet.
Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:00 am

Day 17: 9/24/08: SUCCESS (2)

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Post by howfunisthat » Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:40 am

Kathleen....YEAHHH!!!!!! I can't tell you how happy I am for you. Look back just 2 weeks ago & already you are a different person! THIS is wonderful stuff.

I'm heading out of town for a week, so if I'm not able to get to a computer, please know that I've not disappeared....I'm still cheering you on & will check in with you when I get back...

CONGRATULATIONS KATHLEEN! I look forward to hearing more of your insights as time goes on...

Have a great & SUCCESSFUL day!

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:22 pm

Janie,

I don't know that I'll have many more insights. The best thing about The No Hassle Diet is I don't have to spend time obsessing about it. It will quickly become part of my unconscious routine, like brushing my teeth in the morning. If I don't end up at an acceptable weight, the only change I think I'll make is to reduce the S Days on the weekend to just Sunday.

Enjoy your trip!

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:27 pm

OK, I was trying to figure out where I read about "perfect compliance", and I am fairly sure it was from a book by Dr. Richard B. Stuart, who wrote diet books in the 70s. I ordered two books from Amazon's out of print booksellers, and one came yesterday. The book is called Act Thin, Stay Thin. The concept of "perfect compliance" isn't in there, but here's a paragraph or two that makes me appreciate The No Hassle Diet:


"It is important to train yourself to differentiate between when your eating is motivated by a need for food, when it results from an internally triggered desire to eat, and when it is a response to totally external events. One way to do this is to learn to monitor the strength of your urge to eat and then to analyze when the urge was high and when it was low.

Keeping track of your urges can also help in another way. Just as self-monitorng in general helps to crystallize the fact that you are making a decision about food, assessing your urges before you eat helps to focus the vital question: "Is this food really necessary?"


I don't know about you, but the LAST thing I want to do when going out to celebrate is to analyze whether or not the food is really necessary. The book Intutive Eating gets it right that food is meant to be enjoyed. How can you enjoy it if you aren't really sure you should be eating it? Without clearcut acceptance of eating, there's going to be some guilt involved in eating.

Intuitive Eating also gets right the concept of "Last Supper Eating." That's the last meal before starting a diet -- usually a meal which includes cleaning out the treats in the freezer. I just had a bowl of soup, a half a sandwich, and a cup of milk for lunch. I looked at the apples and debated about whether to put one on my plate to save for later. No.... I didn't want one now, so I could wait for dinner. This diet triggers the opposite of "Last Supper Eating", which is that it is OK to wait to eat because I know I will be able to eat again in a few yours!

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:40 am

This diet triggers the opposite of "Last Supper Eating", which is that it is OK to wait to eat because I know I will be able to eat again in a few yours!
Kathleen,
Hear! hear! Well put :D

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:02 pm

Summary for the current month:
DAY 1 - 9/8/08: FAILURE
DAY 2 - 9/9/08: FAILURE
DAY 3 - 9/10/08: FAILURE
DAY 4 - 9/11/08: FAILURE
DAY 5 - 9/12/08: SUCCESS
DAY 6 - 9/13/08: S DAY
Day 7 - 9/14/08: S DAY
DAY 8 - 9/15/08: SUCCESS
DAY 9 - 9/16/08: SUCCESS (2)*
DAY 10 - 9/17/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 11 - 9/18/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 12 - 9/19/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 13 - 9/20/08: S DAY (2)
Day 14: 9/21/08: S DAY (2)
DAY 15 - 9/22/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 16 - 9/23/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 17 - 9/24/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 18 - 9/25/08: SUCCESS (2)

*(2) means Two exceptions are available. Exceptions accumulate at a rate of two per month.

I'm happy. I got through another Thursday. Now it is one more day until an S Day. I started the diet after the kids started school and when I knew I would have a second interview. That interview is now set up for next Wednesday. I had this precious three week period of time to really concentrate on getting started on this diet, and even under these ideal conditions I wish I had had the start up of three weeks of N days that were no sweets only followed by three weeks of N days that were no sweets and no snacks only before I got to the complete program of no sweets, no snacks, and no seconds.

At this point, I've made several modifications to the diet, and I'm going to list them.

1. I am calling it The No Hassle Diet since I don't have to count anything or assess my hunger level or spend time determining whether or not some circumstance allows for an exception from the eating plan.

2. I am keeping the N days as weekdays. On weekdays, there is the same rule of no snacks, no seconds, and no sweets. I am allowing myself one serving rather than one plateful. The reasons for this are:
- I sat down the other day and started to eat a sandwich. I had two pieces of string cheese on my plate, and there were two pieces on the table. I had forgotten that I had already put the two pieces of string cheese on the table. I debated: do I eat those two pieces or not? I decided that, if the food was at my place, then I could eat it.
- I tend to have a piece of fruit (like an apple) and cereal for breakfast. What I was doing was putting the bowl of cereal on a large plate and then the fruit on the plate next to the cereal. It was a negative experience for me to do that.
- I really, really didn't like having an apple next to meat at dinner.
My goal is to have about one plateful total at dinner but to allow myself only one serving. The S Diet's goal of letting you see how much you eat does work with this approach. Reinhard advised against it, but he also said we can customize this diet if it appears to work for us.

3. I have changed the definition of S Day to be Saturdays, Sundays, Sick Days, Surgery Days (if involving anathesia), and Special Days with a different definition. How often do people have surgery? Not often. However, it is a real pain to follow the S Diet if you are having surgery. You can't eat after dinner until after surgery, and then they start off feeding you a muffin. Is that breakfast? What if they serve you something a little later? I have a colonoscopy next month, so I want to plan ahead that I can eat what I want after the procedure!

The most important change I am making, I think, is in the definition and use of Special Days. Special Days are any day I choose for any reason I choose. I accumulate two special days per month. If I don't follow the diet on an N day, then I must use a Special Day rather than call it a failure. The use of Special Days in this way means that failure is not to be one bite away. Failure occurs after you use up all your Special Days.

4. I am paying no attention whatsoever to how much I eat on S Days. If I want to eat until I am sick on an S Day, then that's not a problem. Why do I feel that way? By far the most disturbing information I found about dieting was quoted earlier in this thread, from page 10 of The Obesity Epidemic:

“Even the most motivated patients have difficulty losing a significant amount of weight and keeping it off. Many people can maintain a loss of ten or twenty pounds by watching what they eat or exercising more; few can sustain a loss of fifty, 100, or more no matter what the technique. The reason for this difficulty lies with the body’s weight-regulating system, which works to keep the body at a certain preferred weight, or set point. If you gain weight much above your set point, the extra fat stores produce more leptin, which acts as a signal to your brain to reduce your appetite and rev up your metabolism until your weight returns to normal. Conversely, if you lose weight much below your set point, your brain responds by increasing appetite and decreasing metabolism…Thus when an obese person loses fifty or 100 pounds, the weight-regulating region of the brain interprets the loss as a sign of a major problem and responds accordingly. The appetite is set on high, the metabolism on low. Doctors who have studied the so-called “reduced obese†– patients who were formerly obese but who have dropped their weight to near-normal levels – find that they share many psychological traits with victims of starvation. They think constantly about food, for instance, and they are deeply hungry in a way that a single big meal cannot assuage. If a fat person is to lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off, he must, in essence, maintain himself on a starvation dietâ€

To me, what is truly brilliant about this diet is that it allows a sufficient number of days each week for your body to recover from restrictions. The diet during the week gradually decreases your appetite, but you must allow yourself "unconditional permission to eat" (a phrase from the book Intuitive Eaing) in order for you to lose weight and keep it off without feeling like maintaining weight is the equivalent of "a starvation diet."

5. Finally, there is the issue of what Reinhard calls "strictness" in following the rules for N Days. This is from page 118 of The No S Diet:

"The basic case for strictness is that it builds habit faster. If you are strict, your appetites learn quickly that it's not worth testing the boundaries all the time. Your habits are like children. If you are not strict or if you are inconsistent, they'll constantly be testing, seeing how far they can go, and you'll actually wind up having to use more willpower to resist them. So paradoxically, strictness makes it easier. It's being lenient that's hard.

When you're strict, there is no decision to be made, no wrangling, no "can I? can't I?" You're pre-disapproved, so forget it and move on to something else. The prohibition passes from something merely rational to something reflexive. It becomes automatic and easy."

This concept of strictness is similar to one I read about years ago, but I don't know where I read about it. It's the idea of "perfect complaince." My guess is that the argument is very similar to Reinhard's, which is that "perfect compliance" is what makes the habit easy to keep.

As a result, I look on the idea of "perfect compliance" as a big, big deal. I equate it to fidelity in marriage. Sure, you can recover from infidelity in marriage, but wouldn't it be easier just not to go through that? Much better to make up your mind that you will never, ever, have a failure. It took me four failures in the first week to have my first success, but I don't count those start-up failures. I considered just saying that my first SUCCESS day was the start of the diet, but I think that those FAILURES in the first few days will help me to be cautious in how I build a bank account of Special Days to be used for days when I do not follow the N Day rules. A failure now -- I think -- would be devastating.

To assure that I have some buffer between me and a failure, I have used Reinhard's idea of "Fence Around the Diet" (from page 120) to make failure a lot harder to happen than something as trivial and momentous as this: I was in the grocery store and that taste test looked so good I couldn't resist. I've had many diets fail because of one taste test at a grocery store. One bite. I didn't want to live in fear of one bite changing an N day to a failure. As a result, I changed the definition of S Day to include Special Days which do not need to be justified in any way. If I have that taste test, then that day automatically becomes a Special Day. The only way I will experience a failure on this diet is if I go through all my Special Days.

I'm planning on not using any special days this month. My first special day is planned for October 1, when I'll have banked four special days, two from September and two from October. I'm planning to bank one Special Day per month until I reach 10 Special Days.

How am I using my first Special Day on October 1? I am planning to take the kids to TCBY for yogurt cones. Why is that such a big deal for me? Because it has been years and years since I have been able to take the kids out for a treat and not feel guilty for eating, too. The big reward of this diet is that I can feel normal again.

I remember seeing a show on a 20-something kid who had gotten in a car accident and had no use of his legs and very little use of his arms. He said, "I used to hate to mow the lawn. Now I would do anything to be able to mow the lawn." The sheer normalcy of being able to mow the lawn... That's what I want in a diet. To be normal. To be able to decide, at the last minute and for any reason at all, that I can take the kids to TCBY for a yogurt. That's what The No Hassle Diet allows me because I can bank Special Days.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:25 pm, edited 12 times in total.

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
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Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:20 pm

I put my kids on the No Sweets portion of the diet. My 9 year old and 7 year old were being taken home from school, and they had a conversation with me that reveals human nature only too well:

Katie (9 year old): It's a Super Hot day, so it's a Special Day.
Ellie (7): Hey, we could watch Superman, and then it would be a Superman Day.
Katie: I told my friends about this at lunch, and they said it was stupid.
Ellie: Stupid starts with an "S". Wait a minute. I'm sick. It's a Sick Day!
Katie: This is stupid. Your kids want to be sick.
Ellie: We're going by Starbucks. Starbucks starts with an "S". It could be a Starbucks Day.

This is exactly why I'm allocating two Special Days per month.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Oct 13, 2008 8:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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JillyBean
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Post by JillyBean » Fri Sep 26, 2008 5:52 pm

Hi Kathleen,

I have read with great interest all your musings on your thread. You are putting lots of thought into what you are doing and making it your own. I think that is key. I have done the same. I even left for a while so that I could really think it through without influence from the posts. I am back now, using No-S as a basis for my plan. Let's do this!

PS If you check my thread, you will see that I, too, tried Intuitive Eating just recently. It did not work for me, either. Reinhard is right. We cannot rely on the hunger cue for when to eat.
Jill

The food I eat today is my choice! What price am I willing to pay?

"There are no failures, only feedback." ~~ Robert Allen

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Sat Sep 27, 2008 6:02 am

When I was about 10 years old, my younger brother held me underwater at a pool. I was surprised by my strength as I pushed my way to the surface of the water. That same drive to survive is what is triggered when I diet. It results in overeating.

I look forward to the day when my body's survival mechanism is not routinely triggered.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:32 pm, edited 142 times in total.

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mel1974c
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Location: North Shore, Massachusetts

Post by mel1974c » Sat Sep 27, 2008 5:05 pm

Kathleen, Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and insights on your check-ins. It sounds like you are really making this work for you. It is very encouraging.

Best, Melissa

Kathleen
Posts: 1685
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:46 am

Summary for September, 2008:
Goal is 100 % compliance with no seconds, no sweets, no snacks on N days.

DAY 1 - 9/8/08: FAILURE Starting Weight of 215 pounds
DAY 2 - 9/9/08: FAILURE
DAY 3 - 9/10/08: FAILURE 213.6
DAY 4 - 9/11/08: FAILURE
DAY 5 - 9/12/08: SUCCESS
DAY 6 - 9/13/08: S DAY
Day 7 - 9/14/08: S DAY
DAY 8 - 9/15/08: SUCCESS
DAY 9 - 9/16/08: SUCCESS (2)*
DAY 10 - 9/17/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 11 - 9/18/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 12 - 9/19/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 13 - 9/20/08: S DAY (2)
Day 14: 9/21/08: S DAY (2)
DAY 15 - 9/22/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 16 - 9/23/08: SUCCESS (2)
DAY 17 - 9/24/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 18 - 9/25/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 19 - 9/26/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 20 - 9/27/08: S DAY (2)
Day 21 - 9/28/08: S DAY (2)
Day 22 - 9/29/08: SUCCESS (2) 212.4
Day 23 - 9/30/08: SUCCESS (2)

* A number in parentheses, like (2), refers to the number of Special Days which have accumulated. Special Days accumulate at a rate of two per month and must be used before an N Day is considered to be a failure. There are no other Special Days. There are other S-Days for Saturday, Sunday, Sick Days, and Surgery Days, but there are no other Special Days.

Day 20: A Haagen Dazs bar and a drumstick at 1 AM. The S Day starts at midnight! The rest of the day was certainly more eating than any N Day this week, but it was quite a lot less than last Saturday's excess to the extreme. I wore a pair of pants that are very tight but I haven't been able to wear for several months.

Day 21: If I have S Days every weekend plus earn two S Days every month, that means that I have a total of 104 weekend S Days and 24 weekday S Days. The total is 128 S Days per year, or about 35% of all days. Today, I'm eating more than on an N Day, but I'm not "pigging out". Why? I know I'll have another S Day in six days. There is no need for "Last Supper Eating" when your next Last Supper is in six days! One of the blogs that hasn't been updated in some time was from a person who didn't weigh herself until Christmas and then shortly afterwards she started having failures. I decided to weigh myself the first Friday or Saturday of the month. I want to get into a monthly review of this diet so that I don't have the potential problem of celebratory overeating after a four month gap between weigh-ins.

Day 22: First time weighing myself since Day 3. After reading some other blogs, I think I'll go back to my habit of weighing myself daily in the morning if I'm home. In that way, there won't be any surprises that could make me decide to take a break from this diet. I think I'd be disappointed by this weight except for the fact that it is the day after two S Days. As I weigh myself, my guess is my weight will drop a few pounds by Saturday and then come up to almost but not quite today's weight by next Monday. It may seem like two steps forward, one back, except that this is the reason why maintenance won't feel like a "starvation diet." I'm willing to take the time to lose weight this way so that I am not in agony when I am thin.

I can't find where I read about the idea of "perfect compliance" as a way to build habit, so I'll just have to refer to this idea, the equivalent of Reinhard's strictness. That's OK. I'm sick to death of trying to figure out how to diet. I got the book Slim in a Fat World, which is where I thought I read about "perfect compliance", and the book is a wonderful motivator for The No S Diet. It's all about following guidelines like waiting 10 minutes before an unplanned snack and always sitting at a table to eat. The word that comes to mind is "killjoy." I want to enjoy my food, not monitor it closely and count every point or calorie or carb.

Day 23: "A watched pot doesn't boil", so I'm going to not weigh myself until the end of October and instead focus on my meals being more of a normal size. I feel very comfortable with no snacks, no sweets, no seconds, so now I need to have no overflowing plates! Tonight, I passed the "Tommy test" for whether or not the meal was of normal size. Tommy is my 12 year old son who has made some amusing comments about the overflowing plates.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:07 am, edited 27 times in total.

Kathleen
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Location: Minnesota

Post by Kathleen » Tue Sep 30, 2008 11:54 am

Summary for October, 2008:

DAY 24 - 10/1/08: SPECIAL DAY (3) - CELEBRATE OUR SON MAKING STAR RANK IN SCOUTS
DAY 25 - 10/2/08: SUCCESS (3)
DAY 26 - 10/3/08: SUCCESS (3)
DAY 27 - 10/4/08: S DAY (3)
DAY 28 - 10/5/08: S DAY (3)
DAY 29 - 10/6/08: SUCCESS (3)
Day 30 - 10/7/08: SUCCESS (3)
DAY 31 - 10/8/08: SUCCESS (3)
DAY 32 - 10/9/08: SUCCESS (3) 208.8
DAY 33 - 10/10/08: SUCCESS (3)
DAY 34 - 10/11/08: S DAY (3) 208.4
DAY 35 - 10/12/08: S DAY (3)
DAY 36 - 10/13/08: SUCCESS (3) 210.2 (Goal is 210, or one pound loss each week)
Day 37 - 10/14/08: SUCCESS (3) 209.8
DAY 38 - 10/15/08: SUCCESS (3) 208.6
DAY 39 - 10/16/08: SUCCESS (3) 206.0
DAY 40 - 10/17/08: SURGERY DAY (3)
DAY 41 - 10/18/08: SUCCESS (3) 205.6
Day 42 - 10/19/08: SUNDAY (3) 206.2
Day 43 - 10/20/08: SUCCESS (3) 207.2 (Goal is 209, or one pound loss each week)
Day 44 - 10/21/08: SUCCESS (3) 207.8
DAY 45 - 10/22/08: SUCCESS (3) 208.6
DAY 46 - 10/23/08: SPECIAL DAY (2) - MY BIRTHDAY 208.6
DAY 47 - 10/24/08: SUCCESS (2) 209.8
Day 48 - 10/25/08: SATURDAY (2) 208.0
Day 49 - 10/26/08: SUNDAY (2)
Day 50 - 10/27/08: SUCCESS (2) (Goal is 211.5, or one-half pound loss each week from start of diet)
Day 51 - 10/28/08: SUCCESS (2)
Day 52 - 10/29/08: SUCCESS (2) 207.2
Day 53 - 10/30/08: SUCCESS (2) 207.0
Day 54 - 10/31/08: SUCCESS (2)

Day 24: It is the start of a new month, so I accumulate two additional Special Days that can be used however I want. My plan was to use my first Special Day today to take the kids to TCBY on a Wednesday when there are discounts on cones. I have a job interview at 4, and I need to attend a parent meeting at 6:30, so I'll have to wait on this. There is no special occasion for going to TCBY. We could come up with a few -- celebrating my son making Star rank in Scouts, for example. What I am doing here with accumulating Special Days to be used for any reason is allowing myself a normalcy to eating. I can decide, just because, to make an exception. I just have a budget of two exceptions per month. There have been many diets blown by me because of a tempting taste test at the grocery store. Now I can decide to use a Special Day to have a taste test. There is no failure unless I use up all the Special Days and still make an exception. It's just a choice to use these allocated exceptions however I want.

In my 7 year old's class, the teacher asked kids to get up and say which day of their week was the favorite and why. My daughter said Saturday was her favorite because "My Mom put me on a diet, so I can only eat swets on Saturday and Sunday, and also because of cartoons." What's interesting about this is my daughter is thin. I needed to assure her that I don't think she is fat. I just think this is a healthy way to eat.

12:40 PM: I was contacted by the company to say my interview is delayed, so I can return to my original plan of taking my kids to TCBY for a yogurt cone after school. The glorious normalcy of this! I can eat a cone in the afternoon as a snack when I'm not hungry and just because I want to -- no special reason, no special anything. That's why The No Hassle Diet will work for me. What I most value is flexibility, and this diet gives flexibility with minimal accounting!

5 PM: I've planned this trip to TCBY for a few weeks, and it did not turn out to be pleasant at all. The kids fought over the dog. My oldest wanted something else. We were in a rush because my two older kids wanted to stay after school, so I had to pick them up, and then I have to go to a parent meeting tonight. Despite the disappointment over my much anticipated trip to TCBY, I think that the frequency of S Days in this diet makes the disappointment bearable. About 1/3 of all days are S Days. I can handle an S Day that isn't all that great. After the trip to TCBY, we went to the grocery store, I picked up a small bag of peanut clusters, I shared them with the kids, and I still threw out a couple of peanut clusters. What is special about special days is they aren't all that special because they occur so frequently.

Day 25: I woke up this morning just feeling sick. After two N Days, I had an S Day, and my body wasn't ready for it. In addition to yogurt, I ate caramels and peanut clusters and lots of food for dinner. Now my body wants an N Day, and the idea of a be-an-idiot S Day on Saturday is repulsive to me. I think this diet is working. It almost seems as if the diet gets easier over time, whereas with most diets it gets harder and harder and harder...

I'm still trying to figure out what to do about the scale. I may weigh myself only after 5 N Days. That would mean that the next possible weigh-in is on October 11.

Day 27: At 1 AM, I had a Haagen Dazs ice cream bar. At 6:30, I woke up for the day, and my stomach is just churning. I think I know why. My stomach does not want a repeat performance of how I have been handling S Days. It's too much! This is the exact opposite of a diet reaction, which is the overwhelming desire to eat as much as I can. Instaed, there is a revulsion at the thought of bingeing. At 1 PM, I am taking a nap, having used the bathroom several times. Two Haagen Dazs bars and several caramels have upset my stomach. This is amazing. I can eat what I want, but I can't tolerate anywhere near the level of sweets I could tolerate a month ago. At 7 PM, after a caramel apple and 4 Haagen Dazs bars today, I am ready for an N Day tomorrow! Even though tomorrow is an S Day, it may be a much more moderate one than today was. Did I fail? No. My body needed reassurance that I could eat what I want. I listened to the podcast "S Days gone wild", and it assured me that this is something that can happen especially with S Days at the beginning of The No S Diet. It seems very excessive to me to have 4 Haagen Dazs bars, but I still remember the embarassment when my husband calculated that I had had 9 ice cream bars in one day.

Day 28: I think that my efforts to have normal-sized meals may have resulted in my eating so much yesterday. It was a rough adjustment. I will be starting a part-time job on October 22. In the meantime, I'm on vacation -- a stay at home Mom with all kids in school. This is an ideal time to be making a radical adjustment to having normal-sized meals on N Days instead of meals that are plates with double-stacked food selections. Tonight, I had almost an entire bucket of caramel corn. That should help me get through a week of normal-sized meals. On this coming Saturday, I hope to have five consecutive N Days, and then I'll weigh myself to see how I'm doing. My family doesn't believe I'll lose weight because of how much I've eaten on S Days. We'll see. I may overeat on the weekend, but I am eating moderately during the week. That's an improvement from eating immoderately all week long.

Day 29: I feel as though I am caught between two incompatible ways of eating -- the frantic overeating which has become my norm because my body can no longer stand dieting and the fear of physical starvation which dieting triggers, and the normal eating of a thin person who eats for enjoyment. One will win out. I am focusing all my energy on keeping the N Days green and not concerning myself with S Days. I did, however, calculate how much caramel corn I had last night. There were nine servings of 130 calories each. I had about 8 1/2 servings. That would make approximately 1,100 calories of caramel corn which were consumed in less than 1 hour. I chuckle when I think of it. It sure looks like some sort of emotional problem, but I don't think it is. I think my problem is physical. My body has been subjected to dieting for so long that my body rebels. It is very reassuring to know that I can eat whatever I want on S Days. It makes N Days easy. Today I was in such a rush that I almost forgot to eat lunch! Because I have followed this diet with 100% success since the first week, I am no longer tempted by snacking. Tonight, I had two of our daughters at a engineering group for the older one. The younger one was there doing homework. Snacks were available. The younger one sat next to me and had pop and a lollipop and chips. I had no interest whatsoever. Part of the reason is I know I can always use one of my S Day exceptions to eat what I want. Last night's snack wasn't even close to worth using an exception so that I could have it. I didn't even consider the possibility of using an S Day exception to eat what was there. This diet has gotten downright easy. It may not stay that way, but today was easy. Of course, my body may be relieved that it won't be stuffed with 1,100 calories of caramel corn in an hour! I had a large dinner tonight because the diet is back to being hard.

Day 30: Everything was easy until about 6 PM, and now I want to eat. The great thing about this diet is I can tell myself I can eat anything I want and however much I want. All I have to do is wait until Saturday, which is just three days away. I'll wait. I can stand it. If I couldn't see an S Day in the near future, I'd be eating everything in sight NOW! I believe I will successfully lose weight and be able to maintain it because there is a world of difference between eating NOW and eating in three days.

Day 31: Back to easy for this diet. I am trying to exercise on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I'm managing fairly well. If I miss a day, I miss a day. Today, I walked 1.7 miles. My goal is to increase the distance by .1 mile per week until I walk 3.2 miles in about 45 minutes. That's a very fast walk. Although I think exercise helps to manage weight, one bagel more than cancels out on any sort of exercise I would be willing to do. The real driver for weight loss is caloric intake, and I think The No S Diet is helping me to keep overall caloric intake down, despite the fact that I inhaled 1,100 calories worth of caramel corn in about 1 hour on Sunday night. I used to inhale food when I broke diets, and I would feel desperate and despondent. On Sunday, I felt amused -- and a little embarassed because my 14 year old was with me when I ate it while I was taking her on an errand for school.

Day 32: I decided to dispense with any sort of rules regarding weighing myself, and I was delighted to step on the scale and see 208.8. A real milepost for me will be to fall below 205 pounds, which was the starting point of my Peanut Cluster Diet on December 15, 2007. Before that date, I never weighed above 205. After it, I never weighed below 205. The evening was tough for me. I ended up eating an entire bowl of popcorn along with a large dinner, but it was all in front of me before I took one bite, so I have a success on my version of this diet. I stopped at the store and bought more caramel corn and some premium hot chocolate in anticipation of Saturday. One thing this diet does is cause me to consider what I actually like. With other diets, I just inhaled whatever was within reach when my diet ended.

Day 33: Fridays seem to be easiest for me because I'm planning my weekend S Days. Thursday night is hardest. I told my 9 year old last night that I am grumpy on Thursday nights because of this diet, so please don't try to negotiate with me. At 7 PM, I am now really interested in eating. I had an entire bowl of popcorn along with a plateful at dinner, but I still want to eat. What is keeping me going is the fact that I have only 5 hours until it is an S Day.

Day 34: I'm coming up on 5 weeks on No S with a weight loss of 6.4 pounds. I'm hoping that I can keep up an average of a one-pound weight loss per week at least until Christmas. That would put me at 200 pounds for Christmas. The last time I weighed below 200 pounds was on September 10, 2007, when I weighed 199.6 pounds. My real goal is to fall below 200 pounds before the end of this year and never, ever see 200 pounds again!!! I gained 15 pounds by following the Intuitive Eating approach ("unconditional permission to eat" at all times) and the Hunger Satisfaction Diet (a modification of The Weigh-Down Diet in which you give yourself "unconditional permission to eat" after a hunger growl). I believe in "unconditional permission to eat" but had to figure out that there need to be restrictions which are clear, like no sweets, seconds, or snacks on N Days! Actually, I didn't figure it out: Reinhard did. I was able to recognize that this was the diet I was trying to figure out!

Day 35: It's been at least 20 years since I woke up with a hangover, but this morning felt like one. I woke sick, dehydrated and disgusted. Too much food. I'm not putting any restrictions on S Days. The S Days will take care of themselves. Yesterday, I had only one Haagen Dazs bar, but I had a lot of chocolate chip bars. It was too much. Tonight, I ate almost all of a bag of peanut clusters and two Haagen Dazs bars. My body is beginning to look forward to N Days! I have a colonoscopy on Friday, and reading the instructions for food intake this week made me particularly vulnerable to eating everything in sight. I'm not going to have much of a chance to eat for three days before the procedure, which means I have to start changing my diet on Tuesday morning, and this is Sunday night. I'm hoping to view it as an N Day that is more restricted than usual.

Day 36: The temptation after weighing myself on a Monday is to work on the S Days. I think, however, that S Days are for sustainability, so I'm working on the N Days. I've decided to track my weight against a goal of one pound loss per week, with the goal to lose one pound per week until Christmas. After that, I hope to lose 1/2 pound per week. If I cannot sustain 1/2 pound loss per week, I'll tweak the diet. I am sick and tired of being so fat. Patience does not mean tolerance.

I got my written job offer today. It's one thing to have a verbal offer. It's quite another to have the offer in writing. I'm excited! I'm fascinated by the field, and I'm able to work flexible hours to accomodate my need to be available to our children on vacation days and when they are sick. I also can continue my volunteering at the school. The job itself will crowd out my blogging here, but I think I've reached a point where I have a plan that will work -- thanks to input from others and reviewing blogs! There may be some tweaking here and there, but basically now I wait for the pounds to drop away slowly over time. I let the N Days put downward pressure on the S Day overeating, with the overall effect of a lower weight. "A watched pot doesn't boil", so it is probably best that I limit my time here.

Day 37: After reading more blogs about people not losing weight while following this diet, I'm considering modifying it so that every Sunday is predictably an S Day but Saturdays are not. I'll increase the number of Special Days that I can accumulate. What I have found in my own situation is that I tend to really overeat on Saturday but not on Sunday. Maybe next month, I'll have five NWS and Sunday Special Days. Tweak, tweak, tweak...

Day 38: I was awake in the night and got up early to blog now. I concluded that my weight loss could end up being so slow that I get discouraged and quit. As a result, I decided to alter the diet by turning Saturdays into N Days. At this point, it is easy for me to follow the no seconds - no sweets - no snacks gudelines on N Days. I don't even think about it anymore. My S Days tend to be huge binges, and I think Sundays would be days when it is easier for me to give myself "unconditional permission to eat" and not end up eating 3,000 to 5,000 calories in one day. I like to watch the Sunday Morning political shows, and we go to church, and we try to spend the afternoon doing something fun together as a family. Saturdays are more chore days for me, so there is more incentive to eat rather than clean. On Sundays, I try to avoid work and just relax. My weight is coming down. It's just coming down slowly. I don't know that I could restrict myself more than this -- "unconditional permission to eat" on Sundays and an allocation of two Special Days per month plus sick days plus surgery days. If I restrict myself more than that, my guess is I would go into "diet backlash" -- my body would revolt at the restrictions and I would end up failing and gaining back weight. This diet is a wonderful template, but I think it does need individual customization.

Day 39: It's great to have a big drop in weight today. I had to cut way back on food yesterday and not have any solids today in preparation for a colonoscopy tomorrow, so I think my weight will bounce back a little. My husband told me this morning that he can tell I've lost weight. That's very encouraging!

Day 40: My colonoscopy was this morning, and I was told to come back in 10 years. Yesterday, I only had black coffee until I had to drink two liters of colon cleansing solution that actually made me vomit. After the colonoscopy, I had an escort to Starbucks where I had a frappachino and oatmeal. Then I went on a tour of architecture at the Mayo Clinic. My interest in overeating is nil. I have developed a certain amount of care in evaluating just how much I can overeat. I've had several instances of S Days Gone Wild which have resulted in feeling sick. Overeating is no longer what I desire. I'll suspect I'll eat more than on an N Day today, and I will snack, but the care I have taken to make the N Days greens is paying off. Tomorrow I plan to have another N Day because I have decided to make Saturdays N Days and only have Sundays as the reliable weekly S Day. This is surprisingly in keeping with my Catholic faith. The 40 days of Lent are all days of Lent except for Sunday. Whatever is given up during Lent can be enjoyed on Sundays. I have been considering the fasting traditions of some of the traditional faiths (Jewish, Christian, Muslim) and am struck by the fact that there is a practice of restraint that is requested to be practiced for a period of time rather than continuously. This No S Diet seems to be in alignment with what the Catholic Church considers to be "natural law."

Day 41: This is my first N Day on a Saturday. I'm happy I decided to turn Saturday into an N Day because my weight loss would be slower if I had both Saturdays and Sundays as S Days. Slow weight loss could lead to discouragement and quitting, and I don't want to quit! This modification is about as lean as I could tolerate -- every Sunday and two other days in the month as S Days. My weight dropped several pounds this week because of preparation for and going through a colonoscopy, but I expect the weight to go up in the next few days. I want to be comparing my Monday weight every week to my goal weight of 1 pound down each week from the start of this diet until Christmas and then, after that, 1/2 pound down until I stabilize at a weight I'm willing to accept. I'm no longer set on a weight that I want to maintain. Instead, what I want to maintain is the lifestyle of NO HASSLE. This diet seems like my best bet for getting out of diet jail.

Tonight was surprisingly tough. I made spaghetti and poured out the water before the noodles were done. It was very hard to reheat water and wait for the noodles to be done. I prepared for tomorrow's S Day by buying chocolate-covered pretzels. There may be a midnight snack in my future!

Day 42: Last night, the level of difficulty of this diet, on a scale from 1 to 10, rose to about an 8 or 9 -- for 15 minutes. This diet started out a difficulty of 10, and I now think the difficulty is at about a 2 with some peaks up to 8 or 9 for an hour or so a week. That's why I think this diet will work for me. The diet is getting easier over time.

Tonight, I ended up with a stomach ache because of overeating. I went to bed while my family played Monopoly. I think I need to not berate myself at all and just allow my body to figure out that overeating is not fun. I'm almost looking forward to the routine of N Days. This was my first weekend with only one S Day (Sunday), and I think part of my overeating came from concern that one S Day would not be enough to carry me through the week. At this point, I think it will be enough. I can still eat whatever I want one day a week, and -- if I run into trouble during the week -- I can plan for what I'll be enjoying on Sunday.

Day 43: My daughter calls this diet the Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions. It is an appropriate name for the diet. Reinhard calls it The No S Diet, but I think that what makes it special are the Special Days. As someone who has been overweight for years, I have felt guilty about indulging in anything. As a result, I have overeaten without really enjoying food. My 9 year old once said that the people who eat at McDonald's are overweight, but the people who eat McDonald's in their car are really overweigbt. It's true. I have observed this in myself and it seems to apply to others: those who are overweight don't ever allow themselves to enjoy food, so they have a tendency to inhale food while doing other things.

With this diet, there are Special Days where you have "unconditional permission to eat." This is a term taken from the book Intuitive Eating, which I think provides lots of good insight into overeating. The theory behind the Intuitive Eating approach is that people overeat because they are afraid of not eating enough. Dieting triggers a fear of starvation. The solution is to follow 10 guidelines that are in the book, including giving yourself "unconditional permission to eat." Over time, so the theory goes, your body will realize it will get fed, and you will lose the ravenous need for food because of the fear of starvation that was triggered by dieting. Once you lose that ravenous need for food, you will start to eat less and you will lose weight.

I started following this diet on December 15, 2007, when I had reached an all-time high of 205 pounds, after many, many attempts at dieting. My kids immediately nicknamed the diet The Peanut Cluster Diet. I gained weight eating bags and bags of peanut clusters, a food I had denied myself for 30 years.

During the summer, I decided that the concept of "unconditional permission to eat" was key to successful weight loss, but there needed to be some sort of on/off switch -- a time when you had "unconditional permission to eat", and a time when you did not. That's when I developed The Hunger Satisfaction Diet. The idea was that you did not eat at all until you experienced a hunger growl, and then you had "unconditional permission to eat" once you experienced a hunger growl. It was about one week before I had my first exception. My family was at my nephew's graduation on a beautiful Saturday morning in June, and a buffet lunch followed the ceremony. It was appropriate for me to eat lunch with my family rather than sit there and sip diet Coke.

Almost immediately, I started to realize that hunger growls were not necessarily easy to determine. The stomach makes all sorts of noises. Also, I noticed that my stomach would growl sooner after a heavy meal than after a light meal. After three months of this diet, I was rarely eating meals with my family and was eating enormous quantities of food at odd times.

I started to figure out that it was important to honor mealtimes. It was then that my sister in law mentioned The No S Diet. She had mentioned it earlier in the summer when I hadn't yet figured out the unintended consequences of The Hunger Satisfaction Diet. This time, I looked into The No S Diet.

Here was a diet that allowed "unconditional permission to eat" on specific days and provided a very simple formula for restricting foods on other days. My 14 year old daughter called it The Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions, and she's right. The beauty of this diet is not just the no-hassle factor involved in following the diet on N Days. It is also the "unconditional permission to eat" on Special Days. Now I can eat whatever I want and however I want on Special Days.

I started The No S Diet on September 8th at a weight of 215 pounds. It took four failure days before I had my first success. I modified the definition of S Days, eliminating Saturday as an S Day so that I could lose weight at an encouraging rate and changing the definition of Special Days (NWS) to an accumulation of two per month.

Today I weigh 207.2. It will be a real celebration for me to fall below the weight of 205, which is when I started The Peanut Cluster Diet. I appreciate why this diet works, and it is a diet that I think I can follow for the rest of my life.

Day 44: It's difficult to see a weight increase from one day to the next, even if it is from 207.2 to 207.8 and even if I am down from 210.2 eight days ago. I am thinking I need to back off on weighing myself so much. I keep on thinking of the saying, "A watched pot doesn't boil." By following this diet, I am hoping for a long-term weight that is lower and is easy to maintain, but I need to be patient and accept that the weight loss will be slow.

It is now night, and I keep thinking, "A watched pot never boils." It is time for me to put this program on autopilot. I had previously thought I would work on having meals that looked like they were of normal size, but I abandoned that idea because there is judgement involved. I want a habit that is easy to follow, and the no snacks -- no sweets -- no seconds guidelines are very easy to follow because they are so easily understood. I think I have this diet set, and now it is time to put it on autopilot to give my body time to lose weight.

Day 45: I blew it, and I immediately recognized that I blew it. Blueskighs' comments (from 10/21/08, later in this thread) helped me to recognize it and so did the fact that I was incredibly grumpy last night with my kids. I need two S Days a week, not one. Last night was Tuesday, and I had a huge dinner of two pot pies and one bowl of popcorn. Why? I think that the unintended consequence of only one S Day on the weekend is the drive to eat more during the week. This hampers my body's ability to adjust to less food. I am back to two S Days, not one.

My start date on my job was changed to Monday, or about five days from now. I want to have a diet that I can put on autopilot because I will be busy once I start working. I revised my diet description to the top of this page, and I want to stick with it through next summer, when I'll be home with the kids. I need patience most of all, patience to allow the weight to come off slowly and surely.

It is really, really hard to be this fat. I hate it. I have seen lots of people start weight loss programs with big restrictions on food intake and lots of exercise. The dramatic loss initially is wonderful to see, but it is sad to see a rebound in weight. Last night, I saw a picture on TV of Kirstie Alley, who was the spokesperson for Jenny Craig. I see in her a lot of willpower, a lot of drive to lose weight. She must have fought hard against her body's survival mechanism, but she lost.

I am trying to tolerate my current obese state while being patient enough to allow the pounds to slip away slowly. To help me in being patient, I have created a goal of one half pound of weight loss per week starting with the beginning weight of 215 pounds. At a rate of one half pound of weight loss, I will weigh 207 pounds by the New Year. It is very tempting to want to rush weight loss. After all, I weighed less than 207 pounds last week! The reason why I weighed less, however, is not because of dramatic weight loss on this diet. It's because I went through a colonoscopy, and I'm not supposed to go through one of them again for ten years!

Patience... I need patience. Right by the computer is a plaque of the Serenity Prayer which is given to our kids when the complete 6th grade at the elementary school:

God grant me
the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change...
Courage to change
the things I can,
and Wisdom to know
the difference.

I look at that prayer and think that I am battling my body's survival mechanism when I try to lose weight fast with diets that do not have S Day type exceptions. This diet respects my body's will to survive. I cannot turn off that will to survive and lose weight quickly and maintain it unless I have the will of a person who can tolerate a state of starvation for the rest of their lives. I have to accept my body's limitations and the limitations of my willpower. What I can change is my approach to dieting so that I follow a diet which is respectful of my body, and I think I have found that diet right here.

So -- my plan is to put this diet on autopilot and only consider changing it if I do not meet or exceed my very modest goal of losing one half pound of weight per week.

Day 46: Today is my 50th birthday. I'm running from the time I bring my two older children to jazz band practice at 7 AM until I pick up my son from Boy Scouts at 8:45 PM. I hadn't planned on taking a Special Day, but Debs convinced me otherwise. Maybe with this diet Special Days aren't all that special -- they certainly come more frequently than a decade birthday! Once you figure out that about 35% of all days are S Days, you can give up the frantic overeating that typically characterizes overeating of a restrictive eater who isn't -- at that moment --following the rules of a diet. This diet provides a gentle downward pressure on eating. The N Days help you to adjust to a lower food intake, and the S Days give you an opportunity to be comfortable with that lower food intake. It's a very clever approach to dieting, one that doesn't trigger the starvation mechanism.

Having philosophized enough, I'm going to enjoy the day! My coffee is ready, and my bath is ready, and it's time to go!

Day 47: I enjoyed my birthday and now face a new decade. I started having weight problems when, in the spring of my senior year of high school, at age 17, I finally took seriously my father's concern that I was too fat. I was all of 132 pounds at a height of 5'6 1/2". I did get my weight down to 117 pounds by the time I entered college but was at about 150 pounds by the time I finished freshman year. My weight went up another 15 pounds through college and then I managed to get back to 132 and maintain that weight through restrictive eating -- a diet of nine days of eating 1,000 calories per day to get down to 132 whenever I drifted above it. When I got pregnant with my first child, in 1993, my weight skyrocketed. I did get down to 155 after the last child was born in 2001. After that, I was determined to lose weight. The more effort I put into losing weight, the more I gained. My all-time high was 216 pounds on 9/4/08.

Restrictive eating, I now realize, is necessary in order to lose weight, but this diet has such gentle restrictive eating that it doesn't trigger "diet backlash" once your body is assured that the restrictions are mild (only the 3S restrictions rather than drastic caloric restrictions) and there are two days per week where you are assured of "unconditional permission to eat." I get it.

The hard part with this diet is the recognition that it will take a long time to lose weight and I'll have to accept the weight I reach even if it isn't 132. I'm willing to accept those limitations.

To help me with the waiting, I think I'm going to have to change my focus to other things, especially to my new job which starts on Monday. It's only a two month assignment with potential for more work after the New Year, and I want to put a lot of effort into making sure the company is just thrilled with having hired me and wants me to continue after the New Year.

I'm not sure when I'll be updating my progress, but I think it would be better if it was only weekly or so. That won't mean I've given up on this diet. It will mean that I am being patient with myself and my body.

Day 51: I had training from 8 AM to 1:30 PM with 1/2 hour for lunch. I didn't have time to go out for lunch, and I had forgotten to bring my lunch. My lunch consisted of two vending machine servings of pretzels and a diet Coke. The two servings of pretzels were from the snacks which were provided to us during training. I lasted until 5 PM fairly well and then had a dinner which was one entire bowl of popcorn and spaghetti and an apple. I was not tempted to snack. Not at all. Yes, my stomach growled. I just tuned it out. I did not die. I was not in pain. My stomach growled a little. That's it. This society seems to teach us that hunger is a horrible, horrible agony. Not true. Besides, the training was fascinating. I am being introduced to how system development is done today.

Day 53: A disappointing .2 pound drop in weight in one day. This is part of the reason why I need to put this diet on autopilot. It is slow! Any decision to speed along the process, like my short-lived decision to have one weekend S Day rather than two, is likely to backfire. There was some difficulty for me in not snacking before dinner last night. I ate before the kids ate because I just had a sandwich at lunchtime and was hungry by dinner. The decision to follow these 3S rules has been made. Now I need to adjust other habits around this decision. For example, I need to make sure that my lunch is large enough that I won't be really hungry by dinnertime.

This afternoon, I took our kids to a Boo Blast at a local grocery store where the kids get treats. Caribou Coffee has a store there and was providing some sort of coffee treat. I was tempted, but then I thought -- why waste an S Day on a sample of the coffee. Why not wait and get an extra large? The willingness to wait is what allows me to lose weight. I don't wait out of some sort of herculean effort. I wait because I'd rather have an extra large coffee treat in 36 hours than have a 2 ounce sample right now.

Day 54: It is now 7:30 PM on Holloween. I am waiting until midnight to have Holloween candy! Waiting, waiting, waiting... It seems silly, but I really think that I am losing weight because of a willingness to wait even a few hours. It's an S Day in 4 1/2 hours, and I certainly don't want to spend a Special Day allocation on being able to eat Holloween candy now when I can eat all the Holloween candy I want tomorrow and the next day. This diet appeals to the glutton in me! I want to save the Special Days for something more worthwhile than a few candy bars!

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:30 am, edited 163 times in total.

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mel1974c
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Post by mel1974c » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:28 pm

Hi Kathleen, Thanks for checking in on me. I have been doing well. Other than the 1 red with the 2 cookies, I have had all green except for 1 planned yellow day. It has been tough I will say. I have been wanting sweets and some of my meals have been a bit big (1 or 2 dinners, still 1 plate but a FULL one) This is a rough time of year for me as I have S.A.D. but it usually passes by mid-October. In the past, one of my comforts has been eating. But, I am holding on and sticking to my N days.

Best of luck with continued success for you. Sounds like you are really doing well and embracing the lifestyle.

Best,
Melissa

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:54 pm

Melissa,
I'm glad to hear from you and to hear you are doing well. I've been approaching this as an intellectual exercise, trying to figure out what separates those who succeed from those who eventually quit. Things have gotten really easy for me, and it's a good thing! I got a job offer yesterday and will start work on October 22nd, so my days of leisure at home are coming to an end.
Kathleen

howfunisthat
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Post by howfunisthat » Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:32 pm

Hi Kathleen,

So glad you're still doing well on this. It's not easy, but I think we're all on the right track for success!

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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mel1974c
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Post by mel1974c » Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:36 pm

Congrats on the new job Kathleen! That is great news.

melissa

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:29 pm

Melissa,

Thanks. I'm really happy about working. Last year, I couldn't work during the school year. In August, 2007, I was diagnosed and treated for a rare form of cancer that doesn't metastize so it won't kill you, but I went through five surgeries and had a bandage on my head from August through February. I'm through all that and now just have to return to the doctor twice a year for a check up to see if there is a recurrence, which the doctor - a Mayo Clinic surgeon -- thinks is very, very unlikely.

I have my life back. When I was home with a bandage on my head, I decided to keep a daily journal of research and personal experience about dieting. I had kept the journal for more than a year and had written over 200 pages when I learned about The No S Diet last month. What gives me a lot of confidence in this diet is that I understand how it manages to avoid the pitfall of "diet backlash" by allowing "unconditional permission to eat" on S Days. I found the book Intuitive Eating to be a very insightful book on weight loss, and it was from this book that I got the phrases "unconditional permission to eat" and "diet backlash". The problem with giving myself "unconditional permission to eat", which I tried for six months, was I gained 10 pounds, and my kids called it The Peanut Cluster Diet. My daughter calls this diet The Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions. Will it work? I think so. It's getting easier each week, AND I'm fitting into pants that I couldn't wear a month ago.

Once I start working, I won't have much time to be looking at my eating habits and trying to understand hunger and all that. I need to switch into unconscious eating behavior, and I think this diet comes as close as I'll ever come to the eating behavior of a naturally thin person. I won't have to spend much conscious thinking time in order to stay on this diet, and that's great! With four children at home, there's so much to enjoy in life that I don't want pushed aside because of dieting!

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:24 pm

Kathleen...

Congrats on the new job! And...wow! What a new lease on life after the surgeries!

I've read all of your posts & your writing is always very thought-provoking. Perhaps the next book on the shelves should be yours!

Have a great day...janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:23 pm

Janie --

Nothing is more motivating than to have a daughter who is overweight. I appreciate the negative impact on my life of years of restrictive eating that I could not keep up followed by a 60 pound weight gain in six years. I don't want my daughter to go through that. I don't want her to start dieting, like I did when I was a teenager. I don't want her to have times of starvation dieting to make up for weight increases. I don't want her body to simply refuse to follow these diets anymore.

I did actually do research thinking I could turn it into a book. My intended audience was this stunningly beautiful, smart and highly-motivated daughter who is just starting out on life, a daughter who last week brought home straight As yet again for mid-quarter grades at the start of 9th grade.

My journal certainly does a great job of describing the feelings of desperation that an obese person has in trying to lose weight and demonstrating that obese people are not lazy or self-indulgent or lacking in willpower. However, with one change (Special Days as two per month to be used whenever), I see this No S Diet as such a brilliant way to manage eating that I have no interest in trying to find a different way to lose weight. This approach will work because the S Days enable a person to lose weight without feeling like a concentration camp prisoner.

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Thu Oct 09, 2008 5:10 pm

"The Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions"

I love it :lol:

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Oct 09, 2008 6:59 pm

Blueskighs-
Yes, my fourteen year old is quite the WIT!!! I've always heard that it is tough to deal with teenagers, but I'm finding it quite a joy -- as they explore what they want and develop their own personal styles. I sure don't want to be wasting my time on dieting! My lowest recorded weight after starting The Peanut Cluster Diet on December 15, 2007 at 205 pounds was when I weighed in at 209 pounds on March 13, 2008. My husband promised a dinner for the entire family at the fanciest restaurant in town if I got below my starting weight on The Peanut Cluster Diet. I'm looking foward to it, although I think we'll try a restaurant like Red Lobster or Olive Garden that is noisy and accomodating of young children.
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:13 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Post by mel1974c » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:06 pm

Hi Kathleen,

Thanks for checking in on me. I really appreciate that!

I had a rough week - My birthday was Tuesday but it seems I celebrated a bit every day last week. So, While I don't remember failing everyday, I gave myself reds for the week - except for on my birthday because I did plan ahead for a Special day that day.

My weight loss has been so slow, and I have been discouraged. The scale numbers aren't moving much in either direction (so that is good in a way) but my clothes do feel better than when I started. My cousin and my fiancee have both told me that I look like I have lost weight recently - again a good thing. I am basically comfortable with myself (5'3", 152.2 lbs) - other than my flabby arms which I want to tone up before I put on that wedding dress. But that will require strength training and I am, well, a bit lazy about exercise. So I need to focus on toning up. (I feel like I type that on these boards often but don't seem to follow through on it at all. Time to start!)

Sounds like you have really embraced the lifestyle and are doing great with it. I hope for continued success for you.

Best,
melissa

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Mon Oct 20, 2008 9:54 pm

mel1974c,

Blueskighs observed that people tend to drop out because of disappointment at slow weight loss, and so I decided to go down to one S Day on the weekend (Sunday) when I didn't make this week's goal of one pound loss on average since the start of the diet.

My birthday is this week, and I'm hoping I manage OK through the week. This diet definitely takes some adjustment.

Please do stay in touch. It can be tough to accept that you didn't do as you had planned.

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Tue Oct 21, 2008 6:00 pm

Blueskighs observed that people tend to drop out because of disappointment at slow weight loss, and so I decided to go down to one S Day on the weekend (Sunday) when I didn't make this week's goal of one pound loss on average since the start of the diet.
Kathleen,

did just want to clarify that my perception of people being disappointed with slower weight loss didn't mean that we need to hurry our weight loss along, I think the comment I was making was more that it is apparently difficult for us to be patient with ourselves while we go through this process.

When I started NO S I thought two S days a week was entirely too much and CERTAINLY I was NOT going to take any NWS days, but what I have found that OVER TIME, those two S days every week and the floating NWS days are the perfect amount to elminate what you have so astutely posted as "diet backlash".

The thought of reducing S days to once a week crossed my mind at one point but for me it would lend itself too easily to "last supper" eating, something as a restricter-dieter, binger I am all too familiar with. For me that extra S day ... two a week minimum, handily eliminates the "last supper" eating frenzy and justification that goes along with it.

Blueskighs
www.nosdiet.blogspot.com Where I blog daily about my No S journey

Kathleen
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Post by Kathleen » Tue Oct 21, 2008 7:01 pm

Blueskighs,

Thanks for your comment. I hesitated about dropping one of the weekend S Days because I do think that there would be more pressure on me to make sure the one remaining S Day was worth it! In other words, lots and lots of food - "Last Supper Eating."

The reason why I did had more to do with my personal situation which is that Saturday is more of a chore day and I have a tendency to eat as a way to procrastinate.

Yes, I agree with you that it is important to be patient in losing weight. It is really, really hard to be patient. I'm still trying to figure out a good approach. What I have done is set a goal of 1 pound per week until Christmas and then 1/2 pound per week after that. Even that goal, which doesn't seem very aggressive given shows like The Biggest Loser, may be too aggressive for this diet. "Slow and steady wins the race."

I'm thinking about just weighing myself once per week, but -- again -- all I know is that I haven't quite hit what will work for me in the long run. The basic idea of The No S Diet, I think, is sound, but I am tweaking away at it to find what would be ideal for me in the long run.

It's great to read your posts because this diet has clearly worked for you and so your insights are very valuable. I have tried to figure out why you succeeded and others possibly dropped out. What stands out in my mind is that you really relish those S Days.

Do you have any thoughts on what sets those who succeed apart from those who fail? Thanks.

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:35 pm

hmmm... why do people succeed?

Most likely DESPERATION :D

I would say that is the root of my success,

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Post by Kathleen » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:44 pm

blueskighs,

If desparation is the key, well, then I'm going to succeed!

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Wed Oct 22, 2008 4:48 pm

well Kathleen,

i suspect if you are like me and you believe that nothing else will work for you and you beleive this will ... if you keep those N days green by limiting food intake on those days to three one plate/bowl meals .... and you just keep doing that ... no matter what ...
it will work for you ...
I am certain,

but maybe the desperation is just the necessary ingredient to be fully committed ... for it is SIMPLE but not necessarily ALWAYS easy :D

Blueskighs
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Wed Oct 22, 2008 6:43 pm

Hi Kathleen, hope it's going well for you these days..
I wanted to add my two cents about the success factor..

I believe that the thing that is required to succeed is simply sticking to it, through the ups and downs and *never* giving up.
Also, from trying very hard to stay positive at all costs and not ruminating on negative body images or stuff like that.

I think, all joking aside, that desperation is only the factor that gets you to break the cycle initially.. That fed up feeling.. But long term, it's a negative motivator and the true success comes from hard work, self respect and self love.

Continued best wishes to you.
8) Debs
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Post by Kathleen » Wed Oct 22, 2008 7:10 pm

Debs,

Thank you for your thoughts. I have tweaked this diet to try to make it work better for me and so that my weight would drop faster, and I've continued the diet obsession which I began last August when I decided that, as long as I couldn't work, I would focus on weight loss.

Now, with a new job starting on Monday, I realized that I made a mistake in going from Saturday and Sunday as S Days to just Sundays as S Days. I decided to reset my expectations for weight loss to be one half pound of weight loss per week, which I think will be encouraging for me. For example, my weight today is 208.6, and my goal is to be 211.5 by Monday! I think I can make it!

There's a favorite saying of my father's: "Not failure, but low aim, is crime." It may seem like a crime to have such low aim of one half pound of weight loss per week. What I have learned over years and years of trying to lose weight is that diets tend to promote weight gain. This is a diet where weight loss, however slow, does seem acheiveable because, at base, the diet is respectful of the body's need to feed itself. The S Day is almost a pressure valve that allows N Day food restriction. Without S Days, there is the uncontrollable binge.

I did keep my idea of accumulating S Days at a rate of two per month to be used whenever I want. Tomorrow is my 50th birthday, and I'll be having lunch with my sister in law. My husband is on a business trip until 9 tomorrow night. I would like to avoid using an S Day for tomorrow; however, my sister in law is a terrific cook and may have prepared some special treat for my birthday. If she does, I will want to be polite and eat it. Also, she is a terrific cook so, if she prepared something, it's worth an S Day to eat! The flexibility I have in using S Days on the spur of the moment is useful in situations like these.

I'm a believer in this diet! Now I just need to be patient and to put this diet on autopilot!

Kathleen

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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Wed Oct 22, 2008 10:26 pm

Kathleen, please!!! Enjoy your Birthday and don't make it an N day!!
Hahah :)
Of all days I'd say a Birthday, no less your 50th qualifies as special!! :wink:
And to me, half a pound a week doesn't sound like "low expectations"..
Wishing you success and congratulations on your new job :)
8) Debs
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:20 am

Debs,

OK, I'll start with hot Ghiardelli chocolate!

It is now 8 AM, and I decided to really celebrate. After taking the two older kids to school, I took the two younger kids for a treat at Starbucks and had a frappachino.

It's wonderful to enjoy food, which is what this diet allows!

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:26 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR KATHLEEN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
AND MANY MORE .....



have a good one,

Blueskighs
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:41 pm

Blessed Birthday to you Kathleen :)
Glad you have been enjoying it.
8) Debs
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Post by Kathleen » Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:44 pm

Blueskighs,
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I expect to be about 20 pounds lighter this time next year!
Kathleen


Debs,
I am enjoying my birthday. I went to Trader Joe's and got a chocolate chocolate cake. My husband is out of town until tonight, so I thought I'd wait until the weekend for a cake. I decided two cakes were in order!
Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:24 pm

Happy belated birthday, Kathleen!!!!

janie
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Post by Kathleen » Fri Oct 24, 2008 12:58 pm

Thank you, Janie!

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Post by resting52 » Sun Oct 26, 2008 12:50 am

Happy belated birthday,

Have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog.

Resting

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Post by Kathleen » Sun Oct 26, 2008 2:57 am

Resting,

Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed two pieces of cake tonight at a belated party with my family. This diet is wonderful!

Kathleen

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Post by blueskighs » Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:38 pm

I thoroughly enjoyed two pieces of cake tonight at a belated party with my family.
Sounds lovely!

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Post by Kathleen » Sun Oct 26, 2008 11:35 pm

blueskighs,

It was a lovely night. All four of us who went to dinner (my brother in law, his wife, my husband, and myself) have weight problems. We chatted a little about this diet, and I told them I was quite happy to settle for approximately a two pound per month weight loss in exchange for a minimal amount of effort and little to no pain.

My sister in law had told me about this diet but had decided to follow a high protein diet instead. Not me! I want to eat what I want to eat! On this diet, what I have found is that there is a definite limit to how much I want to eat and how high a percent of my eating is of sweets. Tonight, I could have had caramel-dipped apples. Even though I won't be able to have caramel dip for five days, I wasn't interested. I bought the Haralson apples, but I just couldn't stomach the idea of caramel dip. Our children were at a Holloween party on Friday, and I had my share of their candy (with their permission). I have topped out on sweets! It will almost be a relief to return to N Day guidelines.

My adorable little 9 year old, Katie, once said what I consider to be the most honest words that could come out of a child's mouth. Three years ago, when she was in first grade, her teacher called me about two weeks into the school year to say she didn't think Katie would make it through first grade because she wasn't doing her morning work. I asked her what was going on, and Katie's reply was, "Mom, I just want to do what I want to do." Doesn't she speak for everyone? Katie did make it through first grade, and she's done just fine since then. All she needed was some rewards. On the morning after I talked with her teacher, I bribed her with an ice cream cone if she got her work that morning, and she went off to school saying, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can." A few weeks later, she got her own pumpkin to carve. She got one more reward, and I don't even remember what it was, but she was set.

With this diet, we get a guaranteed reward of two days of "unconditional permission to eat" every week, and we can still watch the numbers on the scale slide downward! How terrific!

I am the only one in my family of origin with a weight problem, but everyone in my husband's family has a weight problem. It will be interesting to see when they notice that I've lost weight. That will be a great day!

Kathleen

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Post by Kathleen » Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:45 pm

I'm off to work in just an hour, so now begins the real test of this diet. It's going on autopilot! I won't have much time to pay attention to it. Either it works with minimal effort, or I try something else. I will follow this diet until the summer (when I won't be working because the kids will be home for summer vacation) and then evaluate.
Kathleen

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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:58 pm

Kathleen, good luck with your job.
I'm sure you will find this not only effective in helping to slowly lose weight, but such a comfort because it is so simple.
The autopilot thing will take some time so don't expect that immediately, or you may be already setting yourself up for some disappointment and I don't wanna see you give up.
It took me a long time to get comfortable with certain rules the first year or so, but I just kept on saying whatever appropriate "No" (fill in the S,,, sweets, snacks, seconds) each time I was up against one. Now most days, most of the rules are pretty automatic but occasionally, I still have to repeat one of the rules.. But considering it's only two words you have to say to yourself, it's really not a big commitment of mental or spiritual energy, and *believe* me when I tell you that each time you say no during N days it's just like Reinhard describes.. It's like doing fifty Spiritual pushups!
No other diet will do this for you and none of them are as enjoyable and as you said in the past, hassle free.
This is a monumental plus to NoS you won't find elsewhere, and that's what makes it maintainable.
Let us know how it goes!
8) Debs
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Post by Kathleen » Mon Oct 27, 2008 8:30 pm

Debs,
The day went fine. I didn't think about food at all. I did think about the puppy stuck in her kennel from 8 AM until 2 PM! This diet has already gotten fairly automatic. The hardest part seems to be dealing with S Days, since I still eat so much that I am uncomfortably full. My body is giving me feedback, and eventually I won't eat so much just because I can!
Kathleen

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Post by kccc » Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:30 pm

Hi Kathleen,

Just read through your posts - what a lot of insights! I totally, totally agree about No-S giving permission to ENJOY food. What a gift!

Happy belated birthday, and best wishes for your continued success.

KCCC

PS - I did Weight Watchers at one point, and one of their saner guidelines was to focus on weight in 10% increments. So, if you started at 215, your first 10% would be 21.5 pounds. Then you set your next one, which is smaller, of course, and continue. You don't set your final goal until the 10% loss will put you in "healthy BMI range." And you celebrate every 10% goal achieved. :) It makes sense, because a loss of 10% results in real HEALTH benefits, and is noticeable... and is not so daunting as "all of it."

Just a thought - use what you can, let the rest go by. :)

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:32 am

KCCC,

Thanks for the idea about focusing on losing 10% of your weight. I like that idea!

Two years ago, I worked closely with a woman who had lost 40 pounds on Weight Watchers -- twice. She was working on her third try at losing the same 40 pounds. I really admired her iron will.

Who says overweight people have no willpower? I think that the obese are the ones who keep battling their own body's will to survive. With this diet, there is no battle like that. I'm finding it easier and easier to follow this diet. Now what I need to do is keep my weight loss goals modest and achievable.

I'll be happy when I fall below 205 pounds, which is the weight I was when I started the Peanut Cluster Diet on 12/15/07. That's my first real goalpost.

Then it can be 200 pounds.

Then it can be 21.5 pounds lost!

There's just a lot of joy in following this diet -- and, I can focus on a new job!

Kathleen.

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Post by howfunisthat » Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:35 am

Hi Kathleen....just wanted to pop in and say, "You're doing great!" What a wonderful few weeks you've had.

How's your new job going? I hope it's a great position for you....and there's always that book to write when you get the opportunity! :D

Take care & have a great week...

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by Kathleen » Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:05 am

Janie,

It's too soon to tell how the job will work out, but the set-up is ideal for me, and the hiring manager apparently went to some lengths to get approved a position that allows for a part time contractor. We have four children ages 7 - 14. I needed a position that would allow flexibility so that I could be home with them if they are sick or on school vacation, and I wanted to be able to pick them up after school and even continue volunteering for parent-led reading groups in 4th grade.

The company is involved in healthcare financing, which absolutely fascinated me, especially after my prolonged contact with the Mayo Clinic. I did some research over the summer on this topic, and there is a lot of effort -- and experiments going on -- to make healthcare affordable but also to move the public towards acceptance of the idea that part of the burden of healthcare costs needs to be shouldered by the patient. What amazes me is no one seems to look at the fact that the quality of healthcare is part of the reason why the cost has increased so much. My very unusual diagnosis was a form of cancer in my forehead that doesn't metastize so it won't kill you, but it could have spread to my nose, my eyes, my brain... My Mayo doctor thinks there is close to nil chance that I'll have a recurrence.

What is the result of diagnosis and treatment for me? Whether bangs are in style or not, I'm wearing them! I consider myself very, very lucky to live in this country and have access to the healthcare provided here. What I told my youngest is that I have an ugly forehead but I can still read "Green Eggs and Ham" with her.

My job is writing. Some people must write, and I'm one of them!

By the way, I am also stunned, literally stunned, by the effort put into finding a way to help people overcome obesity. Some of the smartest people in the country are working on this issue from all sorts of different angles -- trying to develop drugs, trying to change laws about what can be put in food, developing new diagnosis codes for mental disorders and ways to treat those new disorders, etc. As my sister in law and I were discussing on Saturday, it's funny that Reinhard -- who is a computer guy during the day -- has come up with something that addresses the dreaded "diet backlash" problem. I really believe he's solved the core problem, which is that the body reacts as if it is starving when it is on a diet, and the result is binge eating. As one of the authors of Intuitive Eating has put it, "dieting promotes weight gain." I think Reinhard hit a bulls-eye in addressing the problem of obesity. Now I just have to be patient, and see if I'm right in thinking he figured out the formula for easy but slow weight loss that is permanent and virtually effortless to maintain.

Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by blueskighs » Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:04 pm

There's just a lot of joy in following this diet --
ABSOLUTELY!

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Post by Kathleen » Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:11 am

Blueskighs,

I weighed 207.2 today. It is difficult to be patient when you have so much weight to lose. I'm 5 ' 6" tall and have very small bones. I'm not sure how much I should weigh now that I'm in my 50s, but I would guess that I would be most comfortable at around 140 pounds. I look in the mirror and just cannot believe that I dieted my way up to this weight.

Part of the joy of following this diet is the confidence I have that I will never, ever again see 210 pounds on the scale. Slowly but surely, the weight will come off and stay off.

Part of the difficulty in following this diet is that, at a rate of about 2 pounds per month, I'll be at 140 pounds in about 33 months -- almost 3 years. My 4th grader will be graduating from 6th grade in 2 years and 7 months, or about 31 months. What I need to picture in my mind is that I am very likely to be through the weight loss process at that point and very pleased with my weight.

Kathleen

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Post by howfunisthat » Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:31 am

Kathleen....

I'm so glad you wrote up your kids' conversation....I LOVED it! We could have had that conversation in our car too! It was brilliant.

I'd love to read their conversation when they finally come to the conclusion that this is an absolutely "S"uccessful way of life!

Have a great day Kathleen...janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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Post by kccc » Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:06 pm

Kathleen wrote:I'm off to work in just an hour, so now begins the real test of this diet. It's going on autopilot! I won't have much time to pay attention to it. Either it works with minimal effort, or I try something else. I will follow this diet until the summer (when I won't be working because the kids will be home for summer vacation) and then evaluate.
Kathleen
Kathleen, hope your job goes well!

I actually find that No-S is much EASIER when I'm at work. I have lots of other things to think about and do! The structure of work goes well with No-S structure for me.

As long as I regard any snacks set out in the break room as "decoration" instead of food, I'm good. :)

The only potential issue is if you have a "food-pusher" co-worker, but even that can be handled with polite consistency.

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Post by blueskighs » Wed Oct 29, 2008 4:31 pm

Kathleen,

I hear what you are saying about the slowness of the weightloss ... 33 months does sound like a long time, at the same time you make a good point ... you "dieted" your're way up to where you are now. Dieting is really what got me setup for BED (binge eating disorder) when I was gaining weight through puberty.

Personally, I REALLY DO like the idea of having this whole weight gain/weight loss cycle BEHIND me, and I honestly don't see any other way to do it than STOP TRADITIONAL DIETS, stay on NO S, until the HABITS just become completely second nature.

The thought of not ever having to deal with WEIGHT GAIN again just is too fabulous for words.

The one nice thing about slow weight loss is you get to psychologically and emotionally integrate it is you go. I can't help but think from the posts on the boards by people who leave and come back ... its NO S or simply MORE OF THE SAME!

AND JUST THINK when you are looking BEHIND YOU from three years from now and how incredible THAT will be ... like having earned a bachelor's degree in permananent and sustainable weight loss! YOO HOO!

Blueskighs
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Post by Kathleen » Wed Oct 29, 2008 9:44 pm

It's sad the terrible impact of excess weight. I don't want to be overweight one more minute, but I accept that this diet means slow but permanent weight loss. I need to live in the meantime, even if I am obese. Last night, I went to a store and bought a size 18 pair of pants. They were tight, but at least they fit. I spent all summer in one pair of size 18 pants from Talbots (the biggest size 18 of any I have tried), and I was just devastated when the dog chewed on my pants and made a hole in them. I continued to wear them because I couldn't fit into anything else!

I have in my mind a picture of the past -- of discovering that the dog had chewed on my pants while I was wearing them and distracted from blogging on the computer about my weight. I had nothing else to wear, so I wore pants with a hole chewed in the pant legs.

I also have in my mind a picture of the future -- of being at my daughter's sixth grade graduation and not feeling self-conscious. The elementary school is associiated with the church we attend, so we are part of a community of people who know each other well. I care about how other people in that community view me, and I am ashamed that my son entered kindergarten when I weighed about 155 and graduated from 6th grade when I weighed about 215. Katie entered kindergarten when I weighed about 190, and I'd like to be at least 50 pounds lighter when she graduates.

The year she finishes at the elementary school is the same year that my oldest daughter graduates from high school, and she is the one child with a weight problem. I hope that she witnesses my gradual but permanent weight loss. This observation that she would make of how I act and how I feel as I lose weight would be a gift greater than a college education. She has terrible eating habits from modeling my eating habits, and so I hope that she can gradually change how she eats from seeing what I am doing.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more motivating than to see your child going down the path you wish you had not taken.

Kathleen

PS. I'll definitely report more diet conversations between my two youngest children -- especially as they start to recognize success! We had a bet how much Mom would lose between the end of the Hunger Satisfaction Diet on August 28, 2008 (a weight of 212) and Christmas Day. The child who guessed the most weight loss was my 7 year old, and she guessed 4 pounds. As of today, I've lost 4.8 pounds, so she's in the lead to win $20. I am deliberately involving them in watching my weight because I want them to have some fun as they learn a serious lesson about how to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight.

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Post by Kathleen » Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:09 am

My 14 year old daughter just told me that she decided to go on the No S Diet or, as she calls it, the Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions! She's going to have Fridays and Saturdays as S Days with two Special Days per month. She, more than anyone else or anything else, has been my motivation to lose weight. I don't want her to travel the path I have traveled with weight loss. I am just thrilled!!!
Kathleen
Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:25 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Post by Kathleen » Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:12 am

DAY 55 - 11/1/08: SATURDAY (4)
DAY 56 - 11/2/08: SUNDAY (4) (207.2)
DAY 57 - 11/3/08: SUCCESS (4) (Goal is 211.0) 209.4
DAY 58 - 11/4/08: SUCCESS (4) 208.0
DAY 59 - 11/5/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.6
DAY 60 - 11/6/08: SUCCESS (4) 206.8
Day 61 - 11/7/08: SUCCESS (4) 206.4
DAY 62 - 11/8/08: SATURDAY (4) 206.6
DAY 63 - 11/9/08: SUNDAY (4) 209.2
DAY 64 - 11/10/08: SUCCESS (4) 209.2
DAY 65 - 11/11/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.0
DAY 66 - 11/12/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.6
DAY 67 - 11/13/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.6
Day 68 - 11/14/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.0
DAY 69 - 11/15/08: SATURDAY 206.8
DAY 70 - 11/16/08: SUNDAY 209.4
DAY 71 - 11/17/08: SUCCESS (4) 210.6
DAY 72 - 11/18/08: SUCCESS (4) 208.6
Day 73 - 11/19/08: SUCCESS (4) 208.0
Day 74 - 11/20/08: SUCCESS (4) 206.6
Day 75 - 11/21/08: SUCCESS (4) 207.2
DAY 76 - 11/22/08: SATURDAY (4) 205.0
DAY 77 - 11/23/08: SUNDAY (4)
DAY 78 - 11/24/08: SUCCESS (4)
Day 79 - 11/25/08: SPECIAL DAY (3) - CELEBRATE 10 POUND WEIGHT LOSS
Day 80 - 11/26/08: SUCCESS (3)
Day 81 - 11/27/08: SUCCESS (3) - THANKSGIVING DAY (I MADE IT AN N DAY)
Day 82 - 11/28/08: SUCCESS (3)
Day 83 - 11/29/08: SATURDAY (3)
Day 84 - 11/30/08: SUNDAY (3)

Day 55: I'm stuffed. I got up at 1 AM and had almost an entire bucket of caramel corn (about 1,000 calories). In the morning, I had a lot of Holloween candy. Allowing myself as much as I want on the weekends is what gives me the ability to restrict during the week. My size 18 jeans are still really tight, but they definitely don't feel as tight as they have been. I'm feeling very good about this diet!

Day 56: I'm getting close to 10 pounds lost. When I reach 205 pounds, I'm going to post my success as a testimonial. Here is what I'll say: "My daughter calls this diet The Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions. I think of it as The Set Point Lowering Diet, but I find her name for this diet to be very charming. On December 15, 2007, at a weight of 205 pounds, I started a diet based on the concept from the book Intuitive Eating called "unconditional permission to eat." The theory behind the diet was that people are obese because they diet and their bodies feel like they are starving so they react to the self-imposed starvation of dieting by bingeing, and this leads to weight gain. The way to end the cycle of dieting and bingeing is to give yourself "unconditional permission to eat". My kids immediately called this diet The Peanut Cluster Diet because I started the diet by eating bags and bags of peanut clusters, a food I had denied myself for 30 years. My weight got up to 214 pounds before I gave up on the diet in June. I then tried an approach that I called the Hunger Satisfaction Diet, which was that had "unconditional permission to eat" but only after my stomach growled. What a dreadful, dreadful diet. I was skipping meals with my family and eating huge amounts of food the second my stomach made a noise. That was my diet through the summer. On September 8, 2008, at a weight of 215 pounds, I started the No S Diet which was also a diet based on the idea that there are times of "unconditional permission to eat" as well as times of restriction. Today is a significant day for me. Today I have lost 10 pounds on this diet. I have wiped out all the weight gain from The Peanut Cluster Diet. My 14 year old daughter, who is probably 25 pounds overweight and has observed years of diet failure on my part, has decided to follow this diet as well. It works. It is also easy. It's not as easy as The Peanut Cluster Diet, but it is easier than any other diet I've been on, and it actually results in weight loss!"

Day 57: I think my body is relieved that it's an N Day! I think that I'm overeating so much on the weekends because I'm used to eat-everything-in-sight when I'm not following dieting rules. It will take time to adjust to the fact that S Days predictably come two days per week, so I don't need to engage in what the authors of Intuitive Eating call "Last Supper" eating.

Day 58: I was up in the night worried about what number on the scale I would face this morning. Although I realize intellectually that this number will fluctuate and that I need to expect a higher number on Monday than I had on Saturday, I am still looking for a number that is always lower than any number I have had previously on this diet. It might be helpful for me to limit how often I step on the scale. I'm just not sure I can stick to any decision at this point, since I am so eager for the weight to come off. I'll have to think about what to do. After alll, the diet is about restricting food intake during the week. It's not about restricting how often you weigh yourself. My concern regarding the scale is that I can be checking back to see that I weighed less than today's weight in the recent past and to draw the conclusion that I have made no progress in the recent past. This constant evaluation of the number on the scale is a waste of time and can increase my impatience. I may try this week just not weighing myself or blogging about my diet until the weekend. I don't want to become someone who constantly talks about her weight and her diet success to the extreme boredom of those around her, and that is what is happening with my family. No one outside my family has yet noticed that I've lost weight, and I've lost so little weight that only my husband and 9 year old daughter can tell.

Day 59: My goal to not weigh myself and to not blog didn't last long. I need to keep to the essential goals of this diet, which is no sweets, no snacks, and no seconds on N Days. Last night, I was grumpy because I didn't eat as much as I wanted. This morning, I compared my weight this morning to my weight of exactly one week ago, and I'm up .4 pound. It was this sort of comparison that I thought would be discouraging, which is why I wanted to avoid weighing myself. Well, it's not going to happen. There is still effort required in following the N Day rules, so I want to see the results. The next best approach for me, I think, is to keep my expectations for weight loss realistic. My goal weight for this week is 211 pounds, and I'm under that.

Day 60: Today, I feel better because I'm under 207 pounds. This diet is working, albeit slowly. Last night, I wasn't particularly hungry. The night before, I was so hungry I was grumpy. I think it is taking time for my body adjust to less food, and I think this diet gives me a way to have my body adjust without a rebellion. I think I just need to stay the course.

Day 61: Yesterday was easy. I was busy. I didn't have time to think about dieting. The diet just went on autopilot. This was in contrast to happens when I'm other diets. The plan falls apart. I don't have time to count or write down or follow specific behavior guidelines, so I just grab everything in sight. In the book Intuitive Eating, the authors state that people who tune out their hunger signals start not to hear them. That is viewed as a bad thing, and what you want to do is tune them in. What I am finding with this diet is that I do tune them out. I eat to satisfaction at set times. I am starting to not even think about food at other times. Two days ago, I had lunch at 2 PM after having had breakfast at 6:30 AM. While I was eating lunch, I realized that I hadn't thought about food at all between breakfast and lunch.

It is now evening, and I am not looking forward to my two S Days. I realized that the reason why is the S is starting to stand for stomach ache!

Day 62: I waited up until midnight and had two cups of Snickers ice cream. It may seem silly to follow this diet, but the overall trend for weight is down. I just have to be patient. Meanwhile, my husband, who has followed the conventional wisdom of "eat less, exercise more", admitted yeterday that he seems to be following The Peanut Cluster Diet. I said nothing, but I think he's right. If you don't allow yourself controlled binges (S Days) when you are restricting food, eventually you'll have the uncontrolled binges that the book Intuitive Eating calls "diet backlash". I prefer my midnight snacks on Saturday at 12:01 AM.

It is now afternoon, and I am having an S Day gone wild. Three Haagen Dazs bars. Several cups of ice cream. An entire bowl of popcorn. Why? I think it may be my body rebelling against the N Day restrictions. Rather than feeling guilty about my eating, I'm curious. I do not intend to limit my eating at all. Somehow, I think that "unconditional permission to eat" at set times is what allows for long-term weight loss that is easy to maintain. I'm going with this theory at any rate. My objective is to put this diet on autopilot so I think I may try to limit my blogging to Sundays. Following this diet's rules is right at the top of my priority list. Below it is being able to exercise three times per week. Way down the list is blogging. I've used blogging to document my efforts so that my children can learn from me if they ever develop weight problems, and I've used blogging to help myself to develop modifications to this diet that will work for me. I think my second objective has been met, and my first objective would be met with a once a week blog.

Life is starting to be complicated and busy for me so that I really should cut back on blogging. I'm working at a job that seems pretty close to ideal, and my son needs some guidance in prioritizing math over Runescape. My husband also is objecting to the time I have spent on the computer, and I appreciate that this diet has taken up plenty of time already. With today's S Day gone wild, I've done little more than eat!

Day 63: Yesterday was definitely an S Day gone wild. I ate and ate and ate. The experience was very much reminiscent of the end of a diet when there was a reaction that seemed uncontrollable. It had a force that was similar in feeling to how I reacted when my brother held me under water when I was 10 years old. The question with this diet is simple: will I be able to lose weight if I simply allow binges on S Days and focus instead on following the 3S guidelines on N Days? I think it's my only shot at losing weight. I've tried for 30 years to control this reaction to food restriction, and it hasn't worked. With this diet, I accept the reaction. It's almost as if this diet has a pressure release that is the controlled binge -- controlled in that it is only permitted on S Days.

I'm not too concerned about this. First of all, I think the weight gain is about as permanent as the weight loss I experienced with the colonoscopy prep in mid-October. Second of all, I have no expectation that this sort of behavior is going to be a significant problem. I have started to associate "stomach ache" with "S Day". I thnk this sort of behavior could recur even with a few years on this diet but it would be very infrequent. Third of all, my objective is to keep on this diet until I have more time to think about dieting, which won't occur until the summer when the kids are off school, I'm off work, and I spend significant time at the pool reading. I think this situation of beingeing will play itself out over time, and so I need to wait and see what develops. It is disappointing, of course. To have your weight go up 2.6 pounds in one day when your goal is .5 pound weight loss makes it tempting to try to take away the concept of "unconditional permission to eat" from S Days, but I'm not going to do it. I think my body will eventually figure out that eating as much as I did ysterday has the unpleasant effect of not feeling very well the next day. Today, I feel nauseous, and I have a headache. It's a day of rest and play. I'd like to take my two younger children to a swimming pool, but I'm not sure I could manage. The way I feel now will affect how I eat in the future. With diets, you feel bad all while you are on the diet, and so you eventually go off your diet and binge. With this diet, the binge -- or at least the permission to binge -- is part of the diet (S Day), and you decide not to binge because you don't feel well. That's where I see long-term potential for this diet, enough for me to have a commitment to stay on it until June and see where I am then.

It is now noon, and I decided that I need to remove any expectation for how much weight I will lose between now and June. It doesn't matter how much I lose. I am sticking with this diet until June no matter what.

It is now 2 PM. If this was a weekday, I'd be taking a sick day. I'm having chicken noodle soup in bed because I have a stomach ache and a headache. The kids are outside with Dad raking leaves. I'm not sure if my sickness is due to my overeating yesterday, but it could be. With regular diets, restricting food feels bad. With this diet, the overeating of S Days feels bad. That's good. It means I'll move toward less overeating on S Days. Meanwhile, back to bed...

Day 65: My weight dropped down to 207.0 from 209.2 yesterday, which is encouraging, but I learned a valuable lesson. I'm not going to push myself anymore to eat less on N Days. I'm going to follow the rules, and that's it. Yesterday, I had three normal-sized meals instead of my normal, which might include an entire bowl of popcorn at dinner. Anyone my size (BMI of around 34) hasn't eaten normal meals in a long, long time. The result of my virtue was I was grumpy to my kids last night and didn't sleep well, although my 9 year old needing cough syrup at 1:30 AM also didn't help my sleep. I got my weight down a lot, but was it worth it? Is this approach to dieting sustainable? Am I to expect my kids to tolerate a mother who isn't interested in a game of Apples to Apples and who keeps herself awake with lots of coffee? No. I need to allow this diet to work on my body over a long period of time, gently but firmly lowering my set point.

There is a woman I know who leads our youth group at church. I do not know her well at all, but I admire her very much. She is a very caring person and very involved with the church. Two nights ago, she was in charge of a sleepover to show empathy for the homeless, and it was snowing so not many other adults joined her. She was an usher at church at 10:30 AM Mass yesterday after having gone home at 8:30 AM from the sleepover.

When I look at her, I see the person and not the physical shape. Yesterday, I noticed her limping.

She is obese. She lost a lot of weight a few years ago, and I asked her how she did it. She said she went through gastric bypass surgery -- it was a tough decision, but she wanted to be there for her kids. She also had knee problems which were caused in part by her weight. She has now regained a lot of the weight. I look at her and think that a woman like doesn't not eat out of a lack of willpower or self-indulgence. There is something else that is going on that is physical. I would guess that she has lots of willpower, and each diet that she tried added a few more pounds.

This diet results in weight loss, not weight gain. That's why I'm calling it The Set Point Lowering Diet. I'm no longer fighting with my body's desire for food.

Day 66: My weight went up .6 pound. I think that the lesson I'm learning from this is that I need to be patient and let my body lose weight at its own pace. It's going to take a long, long time.

Day 67: I am disappointed that my weight is stuck at 207.6 for a second day and that my weight is higher than it was one week ago, when it was 206.8. I need to look at the big picture. Last weekend was an S Day gone wild. I've been through uncontrolled eating experiences before. My most recent diet lasted all summer, and I went from 214 to 212 pounds. In six days, I was up to 216 pounds. More or less, what this diet is allowing is an outlet for overeating as a reaction to restriction. I think I need to allow myself to overeat even to that extent and even if my weight loss is dramatically slowed. The big picture is that I weighed 216 pounds on September 4, and today I weigh 207.6 pounds. Because of the weekend S Days, the weekday restrictions are sustainable. I learned from being grumpy two nights ago that I need to stay within the 3S guidelines but not try to restrict anymore. The book has you restrict your eating to one layer of food (no veritical stacking) on one plate. I'm too much accustomed to overeating to be able to tolerate that. I have one serving at meals. Last night, my dinner consisted of one entire bowl of popcorn plus one plateful of food.

My experience is why I consider this diet to be The Set Point Lowering Diet. In diet research, it is said that, once your set point goes up, the only way to maintain a lower weight is to maintain your eating habits in such a way that you constantly feel like you are starving. No thanks to that. This diet, I believe, will lower my set point over a long period of time without my feeling as though I am starving.

The moral of today's journal: focus on weight loss since the beginning (7.4 pounds since the start of this diet on 9/8 ) rather than weight gained in one week (.8 pounds since 11/6). Keep the "big picture" in mind.

Day 68: My favorite sentence from the book is "You're pre-disapproved." It's five hours until midnight and an S Day. I am now in the habit of waiting. Each time I succeed, the habit gets stronger.

Day 69: I have a much reduced desire to eat today compared with last Saturday, when I had two Haagen Dazs bars and two cups of icre cream by this time (6 AM) Saturday morning. Periodic restriction seems to lower the satiety point, which is why I think this diet lowers the set point. It's great to have no restrictions on two days per week. I just broke all the rules by having a Haagen Dazs bar in the bathtub at 6 AM!

It is now 5 PM, and it occurred to me this afternoon that I've had a running debate in my mind about when I taper off following these guidelines and tracking the number of Special Days that I have accumulated. Based on a post from a person who slacked off and regained his weight, I realized that the answer is -- never! I developed a simple system for tracking my weight week to week, and I can write down the number of accumulated Special Days since the number only changes on the first of the month (when I add two) and when I take a Special Day (when I substract one). I've needed to blog a lot to settle in my own mind what I am doing.

Day 70: My weight went up to 209.4, and I was quite dismayed. I had to rethink the plan. What could I change? I had already changed from two S Days to one S Day, and all that did was lead to much more eating on the one S Day. I am convinced that "unconditional permission to eat" at certain times is essential to any diet that won't lead to "diet backlash." That leads me to looking at my eating on N Days. I think I've been too lax. I've allowed one serving at meals instead of one plateful. If I had soup, I didn't want to put a bowl of soup on a plate so I could have fruit. I've had entire bowls of popcorn at dinner. It's time to pull back on what I eat on N Days. I know it will be hard. I've gotten very used to eating a lot, and I will be grumpy initially. I can look forward to S Days.

Day 71: My weight went up to 210.6 pounds from 206.8 two days ago. That's impressive! I had thought that the weekday restricitons would hinder me from significant overeating on the weekend, and it did for a time. My body, however, seems to have adjusted to the variation in food intake, and I have learned to really overeat on the weekend. I'm disappointed, but I think that "unconditional permission to eat" on S Days will have to go out the window. I'll need to consider that I can have a limited number of treats. I sitll like the idea of a difference between N Days and S Days. In my walking program, which was designed by a personal training, I walk laps at different speeds (startup of 3.5 mph and five lap cycles of 3 laps at 4.2 mph followed by 2 laps of 4.5 mph). If I fall behind in my time for walking, I can make up the time in the 4.2 mph laps. The key similarity here is that some laps are easier than others, just like some days (S vs. N) are easier than others. I have a whole week to try to figure this out. How the body likes to maintain or increase its weight!

Day 72: My weight is now down 2 entire pounds in one day after going up nearly four in two days. I'm not going to weigh myself on Sunday or Monday so I don't end up panicking on Monday. I need to trust the process. Thanks for the encouragement on the board!

It is now 8 PM, and I got through the day with three platefuls of food rather than three servings of food. I didn't like having an orange on a plate next to spaghetti, but I managed. I do feel a little grumpy, but I'll manage. It's nice that I'm not gaining weight, but I want to lose some!

Day 73: I listened to the "S Day Gone Wild" podcast -- twice!! My behavior is end of diet behavior, which is several hour binge behavior. I want to nip it in the bud, so I'm following two suggestions from the podcast. I'll still have meals, and I'll plan very special treats.

Day 74: I'm definitely grumpy tonight, so this is the limit of how quickly I can lose weight. I just have to accept that fact.

Day 76: I made it! I'm back to the start of the Peanut Cluster Diet. I lost 10 pounds. We are celebrating by going to Benihana at some point soon. It's the first day that snow is sticking on the ground, and it's the week before Christmas. It's my first big milepost on this diet.

Day 77: I didn't weigh myself today. I ate lots yesterday, and I enjoyed it!

Day 78: I went to bed early last night after two days of S Days Gone Wild. I did have three meals each day, but I still ate a lot. This morning, I woke up with a stomachache. I think this behavior is self-correcting because it's no fun to wake up with a stomachache. My plan is to try to move this diet more towards autopilot. I am thinking I may not want to weigh myself again until Christmas. It's painful to get on the scale and see it fluctuate, and it adds no value to this diet to be doing so. I want to follow the process and allow my body time to respond by eating less.

Day 79: We went to Benihana's to celebrate my 10 pound weight loss. I had thought that I could manage N Day rules, but that's not how Benihana's operates with its restaurants. We had drinks first and then soup and then the meal. Afterwards, we went to the store and got ice cream. I took full advantantage of the evening. If I hadn't had a mod of accumulating Special Days, this would have been a failure. How ironic! A failure on the day I celebrate a 10 pound weight loss! Instead of this dinner being a failure, it was a success! I don't feel as though I did anything wrong. There was no failure of willpower. There was no relaxation of N Day rules. There was no disruption of N Day habits. I just misjudged my ability to follow N Day rules at Benihana's, so I turned the celebration into a SPECIAL DAY! The dinner was planned, but turning the day into a SPECIAL DAY was not planned. And that's OK. It's a great use of a SPECIAL DAY. When we celebrate my 10% weight loss when I reach 193 pounds, I'm planning on making that day a SPECIAL DAY!

Day 80: I think I prefer how I feel on N Days. Yesterday, I was stuffed. Today, I feel light. I'm not sure I want to use a Special Day tomorrow, which is Thanksigiving. I may just pass on the desserts and wait until Saturday.

Day 81: Thanksgiving Day. I ate so much on Tuesday night that I wasn't interested in another S Day. I had a large plateful at Thanksgiving dinner and passed on the pumpkin pie. In the evening, I made myself a plateful of leftovers while everyone else snacked on bars and the rest of the pumpkin pie.

This diet is a very easy way to lose weight, but it is slow. I need patience, and I think I can be more patient if I simply avoid weighing myself much. If I look at my weigh-ins from the last month, my weight fluctuated significantly (up to four pounds in two days). It's hard for any one day's weight to mean much. My hope is that, by Christmas, I weigh 203 or lower to indicate a loss of at least two pounds from last Saturday. What is more indicative of the weight loss will be how much I weigh in 6 months. I don't think weighing myself is going to do much good for me and could affect my willingness to be patient, so why do it?

Day 83: Last night, I was counting the hours until midnight. I slept in this morning. Then I had two Caribou Coffee squares and three chocolates along with a breakfast of cereal and orange juice. Now I'm stuffed. Articles on Thanksgiving meals tend to focus on avoiding going overboard, but maybe that's what people need to do every once in a while. I can do it every weekend. I am thinking a good name for this diet might be "The Glutton's Diet"!
Last edited by Kathleen on Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:25 am, edited 120 times in total.

howfunisthat
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Post by howfunisthat » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:33 am

Kathleen....this is just too cool!!! I know your concern for your daughter has been in the forefront of your mind so knowing she wants to be healthy has got to be just wonderful for you. You've just been doing what you needed to do and she can see what great benefits there are....it's terrific...it really is...

janie
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy...

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gratefuldeb67
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Post by gratefuldeb67 » Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:18 am

Kathleen wrote:My 14 year old daughter just told me that she decided to go on the No S Diet or, as she calls it, the Peanut Cluster Diet with Restrictions! She's going to have Fridays and Saturdays as S Days with two Special Days per month. She, more than anyone else or anything else, has been my motivation to lose weight. I don't want her to travel the path I have traveled with weight loss. I am just thrilled!!!
Kathleen
Fantastic! It's wonderful to get started on those habits soon and it's much nicer to do NoS as a family.
There's no reason why she shouldn't eat like this. It's not weird dieting. It's a healthy diet.
Glad you have a built in partner Kathleen ;)
Love
8) Debs
There is no Wisdom greater than Kindness

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