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The Blessings of Simplicity
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~reneew



Joined: 02 Oct 2008
Posts: 2171
Location: midwest US

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But, my dear, you put your religion (God) before the bus and lunch. You are showing by example! Wink Priorities
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I guess this doesn't work unless you actually do it.
Please pray for me
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

reneew,
It was so exciting to read about him! My Katie, who so loves animals, chose the name Francis when she was confirmed last month. He seems like he could have a similar personality to John Paul II, someone who attracts people to the joy of faith!
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: March 19, 2013


Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, March 19, 2013: 224.0





Journal for month
Day 1 – Friday, March 15, 2013: 225.2 I have heard this song before. It's what I call "diet collapse". As with the Novena Diet, I simply cannot continue. That leaves me with the stark conclusion that all I can do work on the "how" of eating and exercise. It is sobering to stand on that scale and see the damage, to look in the mirror and see the fat on my arms, to walk around in one type of pants because no jeans or other clothes fit. It's disgusting.

Do I continue posting or not? Yes, I will. I just read Uncle Tom's Cabin for the first time, and there is a point in that book when Tom decides that his master can only kill his body but his soul is free! He is beaten for not beating another slave, and he decides that he will die rather than do that. I have been enslaved by diets and gone down the rabbit trail of trying to structure my eating so I eat less. Now I am free to eat what I want. Yesterday, I concluded I could combine No S with the diet rules controlling how. It seems that I could, but it does not work. This morning, I am stuffed. If I was following No S, I'd be eating breakfast. As it is, I can wait. Why not? I'll enjoy food later, and I won't enjoy it now, not even my standard of Cheerios with craisins, not even the chocolate bar I bought last night and stuck in my purse. I do not remember the last time I bought at chocolate bar at the grocery store and stuck it in my purse instead of eating it immediately.

There is no intuitive eating in this approach. I am not going to rate hunger because it brings on binge behavior instead of "honoring" my hunger. No, I am going to stick with:
1. Unless socially awkward, sit down to eat.
2. Unless socially awkward, eat without distractions.
3. Always chew and swallow food before preparing the next bite.

I do not presume this will lead to weight loss. I give up. What I want is freedom.

I will try to exercise. I may listen to the I Can Make You Thin tapes.

Day 3 – Sunday, March 17, 2013: 222.2 The kids would not eat the Lenten dinner I made on Friday, and I did. Yesterday I felt terrible and did not even have a sip of water until the afternoon. I could do nothing except sleep or lie in bed. If I tried to read or look at the iPad or get up and do anything, I'd feel terrible. As a result, I had time to think. I decided that my one and only approach to dieting would be to listen to that hypnosis tape from I Can Make You Thin. I listened to it three times yesterday and twice already this morning, since I got up way before anyone else today, having slept most of yesterday.

The two words from the tape that really strike home for me are "inner wisdom". I am to trust my inner wisdom. Of course, my weight is down a lot today because I was sick yesterday, but there is something encouraging about this approach. It's like stepping through a door into a whole different view. It's uncomfortably like intuitive eating except there is something proactive I am doing: listening to the hypnosis tape which is about 25 minutes long.

Day 4 – Monday, March 18, 2013: 224.0 We were at a pot luck dinner last night, and I came home not feeling too great. Why? Was it something I ate? Is the tape causing me to feel sick with overeating? I don't know, but this morning I only feel like having coffee. I am going to try to listen to that tape 3 times per day. Tom is out of town all week, so I can listen before I get up in the morning, which is what I did this morning at 5. I feel desperate. The message in the tape is what I need, but it needs to sink in and be followed by me. The basic idea is to relax, realize that food is always there for me, and trust that I will eat what I need to eat. There is a certain amount of panic associated with my eating: I don't savor food; I wolf it down. Why? I don't even know why!!! The change to calm, relaxed eating cannot happen quickly enough for me, and even my thinking this is indicative of my panic. I need to calm down.

10 PM: Day 1: Rules to follow with exceptions all weekend and a rolling average of two Exception Days per month:
1. Sit down to eat.
2. Eat without distractions.
3. Take food away from mouth or place utensils down while chewing and swallowing.

One of my favorite books is Eat that Frog, and one of the first chapters is called Set the Table. It's about being more productive by clearing your desk of everything except what you are working on right now. This is the SET Diet.

Day 1 – Tuesday, March 19, 2013: 224.0 I'll start today with 2 Exception Days.

Day 2 – Wednesday, March 20, 2013: 223.8 The danger of this approach, of course, is that you might choose eating over cleaning. That, in fact, is a problem with me now that I'm home. I eat to avoid unpleasant tasks. I noticed a long time ago that taking a break to eat is somehow justifiable. Well, it's not. Maybe I need to not add any rules but just think about an alternative activity as a break -- say, reading? I am also going to be a person who steps on the scale every day. This is the exact opposite advice of I Can Make You Thin. Having completely lost touch with any sense of hunger, I can make this work with a few guardrails.

7:30 AM: Maybe it's being realistic that I'm not going to find a diet which guarantees I'll be thin and not starving. Instead, I've opted for an approach which prevents morbid obesity and starvation. I need to eat less than I am allowed to become thin. Now it's time to clean up after breakfast...

Day 3 – Thursday, March 21, 2013: 222.8 Yesterday, I had a bowl of cereal and took the last bite when I was still chewing the prior one. I thought to myself, "Do I make this an Exception Day?" No. I'm not doing it. The big problem with diets, I think, is you end up eating everything you are allowed. I need to break myself of that habit! I decided just to listen to that I Can Make You Thin tape an average of once per day and let what it says sink in. I can enjoy food. I can eat slowly. I can wait until I am hungry to eat.

On a different note, Anne came home this week. She is following No S. She looks terrific. Since last June, she has lost almost 30 pounds. I am also saddened, on the verge of appalled, by her selfish attitude. I think back to my own college days and cringe, thinking I was like that, too. She thinks about herself and only herself. The problem with No S is also evident. She wants dinner on her schedule with no consideration for anyone else.

She wasn't like this when she was a senior in high school. She was helpful. She drove her siblings a lot, which saved me a ton of time. Now it's all about her. I dread the thought of her being home this summer without a job, and she's not done much to find a job. Tom tells me to leave her alone and let her figure it out. He told me we were both like this in college, and I remember how much it irritated me when my Dad would quote King Lear: "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child."

What does this have to do with No S? Well, the structure of eating only at meals means there is a focus on mealtime eating. That's good and bad. What if a meal is delayed because of a sibling's activity? Is that a crises?

I'm glad she lost weight. I'm just unhappy that she's become an unpleasant person at least around us. It's mostly college, I know, but I see some potential contribution from this diet.

Day 5 – Saturday, March 23, 2013: I decided just to the CD once per day for 10 weeks, then 6 times per week for 10 weeks, then 5 times per week for 10 weeks, then 4 times per week for 10 weeks, then 3 times per week for 10 weeks, then 2 times per week for 10 weeks, then 1 time per week indefinitely. The only other restriction is to limit myself to weighing myself once per month as a way to calm down about weight.

This morning, Tom and I went out to breakfast with two other couples. I ordered two pancakes. I ate 2/3rds of them and then was not interesting in eating more. That was quite a promising development! What I'm realizing is that my rule for eating has been "Eat everything you are allowed to eat." This approach (from I Can Make You Thin) is about trusting your inner wisdom. I like those words: Trust your inner wisdom.

Day 7 – Monday, March 25, 2013: I almost think this weekend was the Last Hurrah of binge behavior. I bought Easter candy and opened two bags. One bag is gone, and the other is half empty. That's OK. The feeling from Saturday morning of not wanting to finish those pancakes is giving me much encouragement. I'm going to go exercise now. The kids are on break this week, and I did end up with a contract job that starts next week and ends before school ends. I think I'm happier working when the kids are in school. It's boring to be home alone. I did make a lot of volunteer commitments, so I'm going to scramble to finish them up before I start next week.

I have thought that I should focus on building the habit of eating food slowly, putting the utensil down while chewing, but I am not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to focus on exercise and just listening to that CD. It is basically changing how I talk with myself. I have focused so much on my bad habits that I have reinforced them. This CD works to have me imagine eating slowly, imagine exercising... It's very encouraging.

One thing this Paul McKenna says is this, "This human imagination is always more powerful than willpower." In other words, you are more likely to change habits if you imagine them changed than if you decide to change them." It's quite an astonishing approach.

Day 8 – Tuesday, March 26, 2013: I haven't seen the paperwork yet, but a recruiter told me I have a contract starting next Tuesday. This puts me in a bit of a panic. Assuming I would not have a job until end of summer, I made volunteer commitments that will be hard to complete before I start. In addition, Anne asked if she could bring some friends over for Easter, the kids are dogsitting, and now we are getting my niece's guineau pig.

Why the panic? It's silly. I really think the whole diet/binge cycle has made me a person who gets stressed easily. Today's Wall Street Journal has review of a book called Your Survival Instinct is Killing You: Retrain Your Brian to Conquer Fear, Make Better Decisions, and Thrive in the 21st Century. There is a specific reference to overeating.

Why do I think this is true of me? I think that my overeating has come from a starvation reaction triggered by dieting, and I'm so far gone that I can do virtually nothing about it.

What am I doing? I decided simply to listen to that CD. Yesterday I listened three times. I fell asleep once, but that's OK. Over and over and over again, my body needs to get the message that I don't have to eat everything I am allowed to eat.

Yesterday I also went on the exercise bike and went to the gym to do core exercises. The core exercises were easy but I can tell they are effective.

Day 9 – Wednesday, March 27, 2013: I am going to be busy, too busy to listen consistently to that CD. I think what I'm going to do is just trying to follow the SET diet with the addition of not weighing myself for a month. Also, I'll try to exercise some. This morning, I put on a pair of pants from a suit that I had worn in the fall. No way can I sit down in it. Disheartening, to be sure...

9 PM: Ugh! I tried following the SET diet, and it backfired. I'm back to listening to that CD. This will be my number one priority. There does appear to be some occasional direct impact on my eating by my listening to it. It needs to sink in. That's all. It needs to sink in. It is about eating slowly, enjoying my food, respecting myself...

My start date is Tuesday. I need to buy clothes.

Day 10 – Thursday, March 28, 2013: My size 18 pants are now getting difficult to button. Does this matter to me? No. I think I'm on the right path. I've started exercising with every other day on the exercise bike and every other day on core exercises. I also feel calm. Parts of the CD replay in my mind, and currently the part that is replaying is, "What do I really want?" I want to be fit and slim.

A Scout Mom got what she called "stomach surgery". She's lost about 75 pounds. She looks great. What is disturbing is she was my weight before she got the surgery. I didn't know I was in the territory of having stomach surgery, but I am.

This is not a physical problem. It seems absurd on its face to say that, but it is not. The problem is not overeating. The problem is what causes the overeating.

I'm not sure exactly I know why, but I am now asking myself, "What do I really want?" I'm now into the third opened bag of Easter candy. Wisely, I left the candy we bought yesterday in the van. I've been asking myself why I'm eating it, and a lot of the time the reason is simple procrastination.

I need to separate eating from taking a break. It's OK if I just sit and look out the window or sit and read. It's OK. I'm not wasting my time by doing that.

Day 12 – Saturday, March 30, 2013: 221.4 I peeked at my weight. I continue to listen to that CD over and over, and it is starting to give me some insight. Paul McKenna says over and over that "you feel in control." Well, as a matter of fact, I often don't feel at all in control. I hated job hunting and decided that, while home, I would focus on studying something with a goal of getting a certificate. This last break, I got most of the way to studying for an ITIL certificate and think I can finish up in the summer. At home, I have to deal with a teenage son who seems to have no sense of planning, so I said he can only apply for his driver's license if he asks to drive 200 segments, writes down those times, and has me sign off on it. A segment is any place away from home and back. It can be to church (3 miles) and back (a second segment). I started this in August, and he is up to 131 times. He keeps forgetting.

As I was listening to the CD today, I thought about where I feel most out of control, and -- surprisingly -- it's not with my weight. It's with Tom. When he comes home from a trip, he complains about something in the house. It is totally predictable. Once he complained about the knobs on the stove. I decided today I would create a checklist from those complaints.

The real problem with my eating isn't what I'm eating or how I'm eating or when I'm eating. It's why I'm eating. That's what I need to address. I need to look at what I can do. The other day, Tommy told me that it's much harder on me than it is on him that I'm driving him everywhere, and I told him it was not. I told him he needs to learn to plan in order to succeed in college, and this approach requires planning.

I don't see that I mentioned it anywhere, but there was an incredibly unlikely outcome to my forcing Tommy through Kumon last year. He now has a job there, so I'm hauling him out about 10 miles away for a job that lasts 2.5 hours. We'll probably spend more on gas than he'll get in income, but what an opportunity for him! He's a good kid. I don't think he's lazy. I think he's disorganized. He never figured out how to do something that requires more than one step, and he needs that skill for college. He can drive there and back. He'll need to ask and then write down the segment.

Day 14 – Monday, April 1, 2013: We picked up Anne and three friends to go to Easter Mass and have Easter dinner. It was her 19th birthday, so we had a cake for her as well. Her friends are very nice. That makes me feel so good. They are just good hearted Midwestern stock. I start my five week position tomorrow, so I'll be busy. I think that it is possible my out of control eating is reflective of feeling out of control elsewhere in my life, particularly with Tom constantly making negative remarks to me. I don't know that I've really picked up on that before, maybe because the truth was too painful to face. I think I see a way forward. I can just pick out one complaint per week and set about to make a habit to address it. It is actually similar to my weight problem. I was in the gym today next to a 20 something girl with her personal trainer, and both were very fit. I felt like a walrus trying to do my exercises. Even rolling over is something to achieve... I cannot start where they are. I can only start where I am, and it takes some courage and humor to start where I am. That is OK. My new iPad is coming in handy with tracking. It feels good.

Day 15 – Tuesday, April 2, 2013: This CD encourages me to think in terms of what I can imagine would be my best self physically, and I think I'm going to take a step to hire that young, kind of ditzy personal trainer just because she seemed like she was from a different planet as she instructed someone on using weights while I rolled around on a mat feeling like a walrus. There's a certain humor to doing this. Also, I think it would be wise to work on the SET Diet with the idea that I would follow it unless socially awkward. I am noting I have a tendency just to inhale things that are around because they are around. I got home from a Scout meeting and, since then, had a glass of grapefruit juice, several baby carrots, and some chips -- all foods that can just be grabbed. If I were to sit down to have the food and place my utensil or hand down between bites, there is no way I would have eaten that much.

Day 16 – Wednesday, April 3, 2013: I have listened to that CD perhaps 40 times since Day 1. I think the messages have helped me a lot, but now I need to actually do. The "doing" part is really the SET diet:
1. Sit down when eating.
2. Eat without distraction.
3. Take hands and/or utensil away from food while chewing and swallowing.

There is more to the CD than that, but that is the essence of it, and that is exactly what I got from The 7 Habits of Slim People. All this other stuff of rating hunger is just counterproductive for me because I end up binging.

I've focused on "perfect compliance" and think that idea is a big problem, something people have told me but I needed to figure it out for myself. Those three habits do not need to be followed perfectly. I can still have a taste test in the grocery store. I can still participate in work related lunch and learns. I don't need to track anything.

For now, I'll set aside the CD. Life is going to be more challenging with a job, and I need to make sure I get the week's cleaning done, get Tommy home from his job, on and on. Following the actual SET Diet guidelines takes some time because I can no longer read and eat as a habit.

It struck me yesterday as I was eating lunch how little pleasure I get from food. If I do not eat for pleasure and I do not eat to satisfy hunger, why do I eat? I have no idea. Isn't that sad? The best answer I have for that question is that I eat now because tomorrow I may decide to go on a diet so this is all "last supper" eating. How sad.

10 PM: I lasted fairly well today -- until about 7:30 PM. What was interesting was I was offered a cupcake as part of a celebratory dinner at the end of Lego Robotics for Ellie and her classmates. I did not want it. After I got home, I ended up eating -- chips and cheese and other stuff, just into my mouth as I readied the kids for bed. There certainly was no hunger there.

There is some line from some saint about how faith seeks reason. It seems backwards, but if you begin with belief, then you see the reasons for faith in all sorts of ways -- especially, for me, in the beauty you find in outdoor camping. Well, I think it may be the same way with The SET Diet. I won't really understand and appreciate its simple effectiveness until I actually follow it! I'm ready.

Day 18 – Friday, April 5, 2013: I'm not being too careful about always following these rules of The SET Diet, so what can I do to change that? I decided that, for every day I follow these rules perfectly, I will donate $1 to my all time favorite place in the world, the Scout camp where we go every year. I decided that last night, it is now 2 PM, and so far it's working!

Day 19 – Saturday, April 6, 2013: 224.0 It took one day of experience for me to realize that The SET Diet cannot be used as black or white. It can be hard to say for sure that you have followed it exactly. I think it might be best for me just to follow a philosophy of savoring every bite. Maybe that is giving up. Maybe. I don't think so, though.

I wrote this at 7 PM on Saturday, March 1, 2008: "I am beginning to appreciate the importance of savoring food. If you take the time to really enjoy your food, then you will eat less because you won’t set aside time for the marginal enjoyment that comes with eating food when you are already satisfied." At the time, I considered having my motto be to "savor." What did I do instead? I went hunting for rules to follow. It's time to be done with rules.

Day 22 – Tuesday, April 9, 2013: 223.6 I am reminded of the day I got a ticket. About four blocks north of us, there is a stop sign. I scooted through it right in front of a cop. When he pulled me over and asked why I ran a stop sign right in front of him, I answered honestly, "Habit." He gave me a ticket and told me it would help cure me of that habit.

I look at two days worth of writing down what I eat and what triggered my eating, and I see that there are habits of eating at mealtime but also to take a break, in response to stress (my daughter was arguing against home study of math), and to procrastinate (I hate to clean!). Maybe all I have is a bad habit.

I see now what No S helped me to lose weight. I had to limit my eating on most days to mealtimes. The problem was that I overate at mealtimes out of fear of being hungry before the next mealtime. It may be that a more effective approach for me is to just write down why I choose to take that first bite. I can then consciously think if there is something else I could substitute. My work is at a building connected to two other buildings. I have taken to having a break while walking instead of going to the cafeteria. Since this is a part time job, I just stay longer and bill only the hours sitting at my desk.

Today I have an appointment with a personal trainer to get into the habit of exercising.

Day 23 – Wednesday, April 10, 2013:
Day 24 – Thursday, April 11, 2013:
Day 25 – Friday, April 12, 2013:
Day 26 – Saturday, April 13, 2013:
Day 27 – Sunday, April 14, 2013:
Day 28 – Monday, April 15, 2013:
Day 29 – Tuesday, April 16, 2013:
Day 30 – Wednesday, April 17, 2013:
Day 31 – Thursday, April 18, 2013:
Day 32 – Friday, April 19, 2013:
Day 33 – Saturday, April 20, 2013:
Day 34 – Sunday, April 21, 2013:
Day 35 – Monday, April 22, 2013:
Day 36 – Tuesday, April 23, 2013:
Day 37 – Wednesday, April 24, 2013:
Day 38 – Thursday, April 25, 2013:
Day 39 – Friday, April 26, 2013:
Day 40 – Saturday, April 27, 2013:
Day 41 – Sunday, April 28, 2013:
Day 42 – Monday, April 29, 2013:
Day 43 – Tuesday, April 30, 2013:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Wed Apr 10, 2013 2:50 am; edited 29 times in total
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Strawberry Roan



Joined: 06 Jul 2010
Posts: 1145

PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Kathleen, my heart aches and breaks when I read your posts.

I would like to just say,

LET IT ALL GO,

Wake up tomorrow morning and tell yourself,

For today I will eat right - lean protein, lots and lots of fruits and vegetables, good fiber, whole grains, limit the snacks and sweets, exercise, drink lots of water and get enough sleep.

Then repeat the next day.

But, if it were that simple, nobody would be here, would they? There wouldn't be a probably Trillion!!! dollar industry trying to teach us what is really not that complicated at all.

I am only posting the way I try, yes TRY, to live. Gained 7 pounds from Thanksgiving to February by doing just the opposite - but got them off with sane actions.

It really does work , it really is that easy (barring medical conditions), but it is something that has to be repeated and repeated and repeated until it becomes habit.

Isn't it odd that something so easy can be so hard?

Bless you. And we want you here posting, so don't leave. Wink
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Strawberry Roan,
This is a day in and day out struggle, one I know I share with many others, but how many times do we face to face tell others of our weight struggle? To be honest, I have very little. That's the beauty of this board.

I have the gift of faith. It helps me even when I do not see a path forward. The new pope has a story which is so inspiring to me: he had Jesuit priests under him preaching Marxism ("liberation theology") instead of the love of Jesus.

Someday this will come together for me.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Strawberry Roan



Joined: 06 Jul 2010
Posts: 1145

PostPosted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morning Kathleen, what you said is so true about the beauty of this board is the raw honesty we all can share here.

We all wish you well on your journey, we each travel the same path - be it a search for less weight, better lifestyle, more knowledge and understanding of the whole health and exercise issue, or just the companionship of like minded posters.

I do know that the burden of seeking the answer is sometimes heavier than the number of pounds one wants to lose.

I, too, have strong faith and agree that it will carry you through. Wink
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Strawberry Roan,
Thanks for your encouraging words. I spent years quite thin but every bit as obsessed about food as I am now. No one knew. I never talked about my weight. It was too personal. If nothing else, I have documented that people can try very hard and still be obese. Tommy's swim coach last year lost a ton of weight following Weight Watchers. It's all back. I feel bad for him. Anyone who has the drive to manage a boys swim team for grades 7 - 12 has a lot of willpower, but counting calories, for most, leads to rebound weight. I gave up on that long ago.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I am going to stick with:
1. Unless socially awkward, sit down to eat.
2. Unless socially awkward, eat without distractions.
3. Always chew and swallow food before preparing the next bite.

I do not presume this will lead to weight loss. I give up. What I want is freedom. "

It is rarely socially awkward to sit down to eat. Even if you're at a cocktail party, there will be some seats. Wait for one and engage in conversation as much as possible to tide you over.

Even if you have some distractions, you can usually give attention to the food you eat and your savoring of it.

I hope you are also sticking to #3. Eventually, you'll enjoy your food more if you do.

These may not give you total freedom but they may give you a measure, and I hope you get it.

It is not going to damage you to stick to these come hell or high water, though you've often sounded like you fear that all discipline will do that. It won't. Don't let yourself convince yourself it will at the moments of truth. Thoughts of not sticking to your plan will not come from your inner wisdom, but just from habit. Don't mistake the two.

Even these rules are going to take a measure of strength, and almost nothing short of divine intervention in your life is going to give you more bang for your buck than that, I'd wager.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,

The house is silent, and I have a bit of time to think. Those rules, seemingly easy, are not. I inhale food as I am cleaning up the dishes or taking breaks in my work or for many reasons. It's too hard to follow them all the time, but how about only on Normal Days? How about applying the logic of on days and off days (all weekdays except a rolling average of 2 Exception Days per month) to these three simple rules which are the definition of a non binge?

As I sit here, these is such a sense of peace.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 3:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't know why I assumed you meant for the rules to apply only on N days for awhile. It worries me that you are already fearing the difficulty and making changes.

I never said these would be easy. You have been at the mercy of food and your fear of deprivation for a long time. NOTHING that involves changing your food habits is going to be easy. You new rules are reasonable and doable and following them will be WORTH any difficulty you have to face. And there WILL be difficulty. You are making the classic mistake of magnifying the difficulty and minimizing the rewards.

Notice that you again get your peace or delight in contemplating a new plan and being in a situation in which there is no urge to eat. Consider marshalling your determination rather than peace. That feeling of calm is not going to last. It will come and go. Believe with all your heart that the peace of past success is worth more than the fantasy of future success.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,
I think it's good to follow these rules like I was following No S. There has become, out of my habit of years, a compulsion to binge. I tried exactly this approach in something like 2007 and lasted two weeks. You are right about peace not lasting. Maybe what I need is courage.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I binged for 38 years. I overeat some on weekends now, but no real bingeing now. I did not go from 60 to 0, and there were tough moments. Worth it!

When you are truly sick of the effects of your eating, and realize that the pain of overeating is worse than the pain to reduce it, you will face the challenge. There is no "maybe" about it. Pray for courage, strength, and determination, not ease.

Can you take another decade of this? Another two or three decades? If you keep eating the way you have been, that is what is likely to continue.

You have so much in your life. Give it the attention it can use, or develop new interests and talents. It won't happen automatically! There is life after food, but you have to make it.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,
Life after food... That is well put! I think following these rules with the exception days and weekends off is going to be a challenge. Just now, ?I had to choose between reading and eating. I'm home alone right now, and the kids are dogsitting two adorable dogs. Lilly just tried to inspect the kitchen table. You are right that there is much to enjoy in life...
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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sophiasapientia



Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Posts: 919
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kathleen -- I know you've worried a lot about Anne's weight issues over the years and I'm so happy to hear of her loss! That's quite an accomplishment, especially at a time when many gain the "Freshmen 15." I think it can be hard to readjust to being back in your parents' home after being your "own boss" for a long period of time ... and hard for the parents too. Wink If meal times at your home are inconsistent due to scheduling, it might mean that she'll need to eat earlier sometimes and/or learn to be gracious and wait sometimes (and this not always easy when you are finally on a routine that is working for you, after a long period of dietary struggle.) I hope that, as she adjusts to being home for the summer, you'll come to an understanding that works for everyone.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sophiasapientia,
Yes, it is an adjustment. Tom told me I was being too hard on her. My biggest motivation to lose weight was for Anne to lose weight and, to be honest, I'd rather it be her than me. She has a lot of flexibility at school that is not possible at home. She can't just wander down to the dining hall whenever she wants to pick from a number of different choices. Tom took her back this afternoon while I was at a Boy Scout event, but we'll take her to a play tomorrow and then not see her again until May. We need to set up some rules for when she is home in the summer.
Kathleen
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Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can both change your habits.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 25, 2013 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,

She's gone now. I do remember some of how I acted when I was in college, and it wasn't any different. I remember in particular being surprised that someone had moved my book. I wasn't upset. I was surprised. When you are used to having everything your way, it's hard to return to a family.

I think what I'll do is assign her chores. Last year, she drove as a chore, but this summer Tommy should have a license. We just have to set up expectations and agree on them.

Her weight loss is a No S success story.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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TexArk



Joined: 27 Dec 2008
Posts: 681
Location: Foothills of the Ozarks

PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:11 pm    Post subject: Easter Candy? Reply with quote

Kathleen said, " I'm now into the third opened bag of Easter candy. Wisely, I left the candy we bought yesterday in the van. "

May I respectfully ask who is buying this Easter candy and who is it for? It may be that someone is trying to sabotage your efforts...maybe not consciously, but this is not good. When Anne comes home for the summer, she also will not need all the easy access to sugary stuff. I imagine she has been able to control her environment at college and that may be one reason she has been successful. After you have had some success and some brain rewiring so to speak, you should be able to look that stuff in the eye and stare it down, but not now while you are struggling. That isn't fair.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TexArk,
I bought it. I bought more the other day and left it in the van. We always buy a lot for Easter and St. Nicholas' Day. Anne's success is due in part the the amount of walking she has to do. She walks across the bridge over the Mississippi four times per day because her dorm is on one side of the Mississippi and her classes are on the other side. We have the Y membership because she decided last June to start exercising. I think it is best to keep ready made eating out of the house to the extent possible, but the Easter candy was my fault.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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nonoodles



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 12:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"After I got home, I ended up eating -- chips and cheese and other stuff, just into my mouth as I readied the kids for bed. There certainly was no hunger there."

Why do you have those foods in your house? You are not having any success controlling your binge eating, so at least make your environment a little less binge-friendly. Whole nutritious foods just don't trigger overeating like all that junk does. I feel for you - let's face it, anyone on this board feels somewhat out of control with their eating - but you why make it so much harder for yourself?
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nonoodles,

Failure to reach agreement with husband. There is a lot of junk food from Easter. I donated an entire bag of jelly beans to the grade school. I think that there is a certain habit that develops from eating what is readily available: mouth food. There is a term in Web design called "candyrack" which is basically product placement that makes it easy to just grab and go. This is a reference to the candy rack at the check out for grocery stores. I've thought that a good approach would be to eliminate candy rack food except for fruits and vegetables. My husband disagrees. I've had numerous discussions about chips.

What can I say? I need to operate within the constraints I have. That's why The SET Diet might be a good approach for me. The rule is: no grab and go. I actually have to sit down, eat without distraction and place utensils/hand down even if it is grab and go food.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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nonoodles



Joined: 01 Apr 2012
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck Kathleen! Really. As you can see, you have so many people following your struggle and hoping to see some action already! (By the way, your husband probably doesn't need that junky food either. Who does?
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Anoulie



Joined: 25 Sep 2009
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kathleen, I've seen you struggle with your weight and diet and No S and binging and whatever restrictive plans you decided to follow (or not to follow). You make a one-year commitment to No S one day, then change your plans three weeks later, then binge, decide to follow Intuitive Eating, then listen to a tape (these are just my impressions, it likely didn't all happen in this exact order and time)... have you considered talking to someone more qualified than this board? We can't really help you without knowing your entire situation and without the qualifications to handle these problems. So why don't you try discussing all this with someone who doesn't exclusively live in your computer? As you said, the eating is not the problem, it's just a symptom of the real problem.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anoulie,

Thank you for your concern. I have come to the conclusion that the so-called professionals probably know less than someone on this board. A case in point is Kelly Brownell, a Yale professor and head of the Rudd Center for Obesity and Policy, something like that. He is the guy behind the soda tax idea. He's obese -- maybe 400 pounds. He is looking for external factors that influence obesity. Then there's Michelle Obama, who helped get a bill passed that forces kids eating school lunch to take vegetables and fruit that they then discard.

I have read extensively on the subject and now have a working hypothesis that you cannot directly control how much you eat without causing binge behavior. I think that what you can do is control how you eat which affects how much you eat.

Will this succeed? I don't know.

One success factor, I believe, is exercise. Just this morning, I was telling my husband I'd like to hire a personal trainer. That could be helpful. Talking to a professional about my eating -- no. You can get lost in the past without changing behavior in the present. I think what is necessary is to figure out a change in behavior today that will affect how much you eat, and that's how I came up with The SET Diet.

At any rate, I'm certainly happier just doing this.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is simply not true that you cannot decrease the amount you eat without causing binge behavior. Some strategies cause more uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms than others and different individuals, even at different times in their lives, are willing to tolerate discomfort of varying levels. Also, when people get more clear on the stages of habit change, they are less likely to give up the pursuit before they experience more success.

I think it would actually be an advantage for you to simply admit that you are not willing to tolerate the necessary discomfort associated with eating less food, but you are willing to tolerate the difficulties associated with eating the same or more. You may not LIKE them, but you are willing to tolerate them. This is much more powerful, AND ACCURATE, than insisting that your attempts are doomed. If you believe you are more damaged by ANY attempt to decrease your food, of course you are not going to do it.

I went through a stage like this before it got to the point at which I changed my mind. I quit pretending that I was actually trying to change anything. I admitted that I would have liked for it to be different, but honestly, I was not willing to give up eating in any way, shape, or form, even to the point of feeling nauseous. I did, however, pursue some "good" habits, such as eating more vegetables or using high quality fats. I also worked on techniques for stress reduction, including meditating and examining my thoughts for irrationality and disservice to my well-being. These actually helped me increase my frustration tolerance in other areas. Eventually, I got to the point at which it was more painful to accept that I was a slave to my desire to overeat than it was to tolerate the discomfort, anxiety, frustration, and even emotional pain of reducing my eating. I just did not want to live like that for my last decades on Earth and I knew it was ludicrous to believe that I could not choose to NOT put food in my mouth, unlike not being able to learn to run as fast as an Olympic sprinter or some other pursuit that really depends on innate talent, and some luck, as well as work.

No S was just the right mix of limitation and freedom/responsibility for me.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,

You may be right. I may be seeking for something that does not exist. I have thought that I do not want to die fat. Why does it matter then? Well, there is a moral component to this for me. I don't want to face the good Lord and explain why I was my god was my belly, to paraphrase both St. Paul and Aristotle.

In the last two weeks, there were two instances when my decision to follow the rules of The SET Diet seemed to lead to my eating less. Once was when we were having breakfast out with two couples. I got engrossed in the conversation, and the food -- while good -- was not appealing to me. The second was the night before last when I passed on having a brownie.

I need to stick to this long enough to see if it works. One thing is clear: I'm happier just trying to do this and exercise. It also helps that I seemed to have landed in some really enjoyable contract work with a manager who is just the nicest guy.

And, besides, spring is finally coming to Minnesota! I love the outdoors. We've been cooped up too much with some really cold weather.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Thalia



Joined: 11 Sep 2007
Posts: 569
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have also been reading your posts and worrying a little on your behalf -- it seems like something much bigger than your relationship with food is off kilter in your life. Are you open at all to talking to a therapist of any stripe? Maybe someone through your church?

Regardless of what you decide, I hope that the new job and the coming of spring make things better for you.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thalia,
I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. It has been some years since it occurred to me that the defining characteristic of obese people is gullibility. I've been way too dependent on other people's opinion of me. Now I'm thinking for myself! What I need is not talk. It's action. I emailed a personal trainer tonight to set up personal training. I asked how to designate donations to that camp. Those are actions.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 9:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: April 14, 2013


Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Thursday, April 14, 2013: 224.6


Journal for month
Day 1 – Wednesday, April 10, 2013: 224.4 I return to No S. It is a framework for habits, and I can build on those habits with exercise and slower eating.

Day 1 – Thursday, April 11, 2013: 224.0 I am at a nice even weight, and I'm starting right away in the morning, so maybe I'll make today Day 1. Too many of my thoughts to myself have been about food and eating. Rarely do I talk to others, so this board has been nice. I think I need to focus on other things, and this little job helps. It is really snowing out, and there is thunder and lightning as well -- very strange!

11 AM: I am home today because of the snow, and I asked Anne for her No S rules, since she has lost almost 30 pounds since last June. It is somewhat humbling to do this, but she texted back and said she'd email them to me. I'm open to adding what rules she had. She looks terrific. I'd rather she lose weight than I lost weight, but my preference is we both do!!!

Day 3 – Friday, April 12, 2013: Anne's rules include 2 additional S Days per month and only Saturdays as weekend S Days. I was somewhat surprised by what she wrote because my own personal observation of her eating is she was much more deliberate in how she ate. She ate more slowly.

Day 4 – Saturday, April 13, 2013: 224.2 My precious daughter, Anne -- I am so glad this diet works for her. She was always very much an introvert, and she has found people just like her at U of M. She is happy, and she is walking a lot -- walking over a bridge across the Mississippi four times per day on class days!

Can No S work for me? Now I know why it won't: my age. I cannot eat as much as the daughter who was born when I was 35. And that's OK. I'm so happy she is blossoming, and now I'll work on what does work for me.

I am going to go completely away from No S rules but will record why I eat (one reason being mealtime) and what I eat. I also will try to sit down to eat, eat without distraction, and place utensil or hand down while chewing and swallowing so that I'm not preparing the next bite while eating.

I am also going to exercise. I am dressed in exercise clothing right now, procrastinating as usual but I need to get going so I have time to bathe before bringing Tommy to his Kumon job.

It's an overcast day with fresh snow outside. I am attempting to find a cabin at the Scout Camps that might still be available next weekend since our troop was supposed to go tent camping. That's not going to happen... too many new boys who need to have a campout that is fun and not frozen!

I ate while reading last night and said to myself, "Good riddance" to that habit. There will still be times when it is necessary -- like when I had lunch with my boss yesterday and we worked while eating. I don't need to mark and track exceptions. What I need is to develop a habit and follow it within reason.

Life is beautiful. Life is also short. I want my thoughts to be filled with the joy of living.

Day 1 – Sunday, April 14, 2013: 224.6 I got Frank Bruin's book and read the last part first. There was a great line in there: "There is no skeletal key to a skeletal me." That line reminds me of my Tommy saying I was looking for a "magic diet." Too true. I think what I need is accountability. When I met with the personal trainer, I told her one thing I want is a program and then periodic training that, in part, keeps me on track because I know I'll be reporting in. It did work yesterday. I got on the bike. Last night, I managed to find two calendars. Most have already been clearanced at this time of year, but I found two that started July, 2012 and end December, 2013. I tore out the months that have passed, and now I have a calendar for exercise and one for eating.

I am going to write down everything I eat and weigh myself every day I can. That is the sum total of what I am going to do. It will keep a focus on what I am actually eating and how I am exercising.

I have read that one of the key success factors of many people is simple recording.

I see it is snowing outside again. It is beautiful outside -- all that new snow. Katie and Ellie made a snowman holding a dog like we hold our 9 pound dog. It's quite adorable...

9 PM: Wow. Spectacular failure. I need an approach that provides a detterrant at the time that I am eating. That is not recording what I eat after the fact. I'm back to The SET Diet with an R: record exceptions.

Day 2 – Monday, April 15, 2013:
Day 3 – Tuesday, April 16, 2013:
Day 4 – Wednesday, April 17, 2013:
Day 5 – Thursday, April 18, 2013:
Day 6 – Friday, April 19, 2013:
Day 7 – Saturday, April 20, 2013:
Day 8 – Sunday, April 21, 2013:
Day 9 – Monday, April 22, 2013:
Day 10 – Tuesday, April 23, 2013:
Day 11 – Wednesday, April 24, 2013:
Day 12 – Thursday, April 25, 2013:
Day 13 – Friday, April 26, 2013:
Day 14 – Saturday, April 27, 2013:
Day 15 – Sunday, April 28, 2013:
Day 16 – Monday, April 29, 2013:
Day 17 – Tuesday, April 30, 2013:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:19 am; edited 9 times in total
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ksbrowne



Joined: 20 Aug 2009
Posts: 68
Location: Georgia

PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd like to recommend this book, "Born Round" by Frank Bruni. He fought a life-long battle with his weight. Finally won it. Then was made the New York Times restaurant critic. I found it both entertaining and helpful.

http://www.amazon.com/Born-Round-Family-Ferocious-Appetite/dp/014311767X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1365636228&sr=1-1&keywords=Born+Round
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I ordered it. Thanks.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 11:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The RESET Diet: April 15, 2013
R: Record exercise
E: Exercise
S: Sit down to eat
E: Eat without distractions
T: Take hand away from mouth or place utensil(s) down while chewing and swallowing.

Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, April 15, 2013: 225.0



Day 1 – Monday, April 15, 2013: 225.0 I got up and exercised: 30 minutes on the bike at 5:30 AM. I can read The Wall Street Journal while exercising instead of while lounging around.

8:30 AM: I am leaving for work in a few minutes and have just taken the dog for a walk. I'm not changing this diet -- that is a promise, a promise to myself. I can eat whatever I want but just need to follow these rules for how I eat which will have the effect of limiting how much I eat. There will be times when it won't work or I'll not do it, and in that case I'll record the exceptions.

Will I lose weight doing this? Yes, absolutely, especially when combined with exercise. How much will I lose? I don't know, but I'm accepting the weight that results.

Naval gazing is over.

Day 2 – Tuesday, April 16, 2013: 223.0 Yesterday went well. The eating habits did serve as a deterrent to overeating. A binge, almost by definition, involves rapid eating. What I am doing with this approach is directly attacking the binge. Yesterday was also a reminder that, as the late great Kirby Puckett put it, "Tomorrow is not promised to any of us." Tom was in Boston last week and will be in Boston next week. His hotel was about a block from the blast scene.

Day 3 – Wednesday, April 17, 2013: Yesterday did not go well. I found that it was very hard to follow those eating rules. What I decided was I would not record exceptions to eating habits but instead would give myself one day to follow the habits, then one day off, then two days on, and gradually increase the number of days following those habits. I got up yesterday at 5:30 to do core exercises and this morning to ride on the bike. Exercising is a matter of deciding to do it. Following eating habits is different, and I'm not sure why. It's very easy to trigger some sort of survival mechanism, so I need to proceed carefully.

Day 4 – Thursday, April 18, 2013: 222.2 I don't know that it matters if I follow those habits perfectly. I did a better job yesterday. I listened to a youtube presentation on excitotoxicity which is basically why MSG is so bad for you and it did turn my stomach. I ordered two books by the author off Amazon. My pile of unread books is catching up to me, so I have to hold off on reading anything more for a time.

I do not feel well today. My work is not going well at all. I'm supposed to improve upon requirements already gathered and documented by two different sources, PricewatersCoopers which deserves every bit of its stellar reputation and an employee of the hiring manager who is at minimum on a par with me intellectually. I've figured out somewhere I can add value but the value is minimal and could have been provided by this employee. That is the way it is with contract work. You don't really know until you get there what you are getting.

8 PM: Things got reset at work, so now I'm feeling better. I have long thought that honesty is the foundation of virtue and deception is the foundation of evil. Sometimes ti is not so clear what is truth and what is self-deception.

I do think that I am directly addressing binge behavior by not having portion control and by following eating habits which slow the rate of eating. Is this yet another example of self-deception or is it the truth? I do not know.

Day 5 – Friday, April 19, 2013: I had a rather dramatic deterioration of following those eating habits today and am now considering going back to creating rules which I can follow "with perfect compliance." What would they be? Well maybe I can put a condition on them: "When eating by myself, I will follow the rules perfectly." That means I don't have to worry about parties or lunch and learns at work.

Day 6 – Saturday, April 20, 2013:

Day 7 – Sunday, April 21, 2013: 223.8

Day 8 – Monday, April 22, 2013: 223.8 Goal: 224.0

Day 9 – Tuesday, April 23, 2013: 221.2 I can eat anything I want anytime I want so long as I take the time to follow rules which ensure I pay attention to what I am doing. I am going to have to get used to throwing out food because I am realizing I don't always want everything in front of me but am eating it because I can eat it now and can't eat it later. How stupid is that for someone so fat? I did have some mashed potatoes as I was cleaning up last night, and so what .... What I need to do is not worry about perfect compliance. What I need to do is focus on building habit, one bite at a time.

It's really beautiful outside. New snow has blanketed all the trees and the ground, but there is not much snow on the roads because it is so late in the season.

Day 10 – Wednesday, April 24, 2013: Yesterday, I got to meet someone who was openly hostile towards and dismissive of my manager. I now appreciate my manager's perspective on my work -- I'm being used as an objective third party to neutralize this guy. I came home from work and ate and ate... At night, I had a stomache ache and no wonder. Where does that leave me? Well, it made me even more convinced this is the right approach. Slow eating must do something to reduce the need for food. It seems absurd on its face because a calorie is a calorie, but I think there is something to do this. At any rate, I'm not going to weigh myself today or tomorrow and see where my weight is on Friday. I got up at 5:30 and went on the exercise bike for 30 minutes. My plan is exercise bike on M, W, F and exercises from the personal trainer on T, Th, and St.

3 PM: I am amazed by how much it takes just to adjust to following those three eating rules. What I want to do is work on them as well as exercise and have a moderate approach to weight loss. I think I'll accept the falls so long as I am able to lose 1 pound per week on average. At some point, that will become too difficult and then I can adjust to 1/2 pound per week. This diet is somewhat fluid. I am staying within those 5 ideas in RESET. The only thing I am certain of is: NO portion control whatsoever, and exercise.

Day 11 – Thursday, April 25, 2013: Things went well yesterday. How could they not? I was in the van driving kids around from the time I got off work until 7:30 PM. At any rate, I need to focus on building habit one bite at a time.

Day 12 – Friday, April 26, 2013: 221.8 Yesterday, I was at Costco and did have some taste tests. It's OK! I don't need to follow these rules exactly. I don't need "perfect compliance". What I need is to do my best to follow them while not denying myself any food. Eating slowly seems to affect my appetite in a very significant way. I didn't even want dinner and instead had plain yogurt and two apples. Of course, I've only been doing this a few days, and I was in the van for most of 5 hours last night. Honestly, having a kid with a girlfriend and a job but no driver's license really stinks. I told him what he needs to be able to apply for his license -- drive 200 times, write them down, and have me sign off -- and he's just not done. He's up to 165 segments. He forgets. I clench my teeth because how is he going to remember to show up for class or hand in assignments when he's in college? This is my way to get him to take some initiative. I think he may only learn to drive if he does not have a chauffer willing to take him everywhere at a moment's notice, and I'm getting to that point. I felt sick by about 8 last night.

Day 13 – Saturday, April 27, 2013: 221.8 Yesterday what I wanted for lunch was salad and a roll. What I want to eat seems to be shifting to lighter foods.

9:30 PM: It was a quiet night with Katie and Ellie. Tom is visiting his Mom who ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, and Tommy is at prom. I am reading a book about Excitotoxins that I happened to find through a youtube video that had been sent me by a friend. I got the book referenced in the video, and it's very interesting. I occasionally drink diet Coke because I don't like the taste of diet Coke, but I've had my last diet pop. I never had Nutrasweet rather than real sugar. Something about "fake food" always bothered me. Now I'm shuddering at what is in foods that I eat all the time, like Campell's soups.

Anyway, deciding to have a goal of losing one pound per week resulted in my giving myself permission to eat as I wanted since I was below target weight. How dumb is that? I think I may only weigh myself once per month.

Day 15 – Monday, April 29, 2013: 221.4 I'm debating about things at the edge. The core remains RESET. My goal is 223 this week.

Day 16 – Tuesday, April 30, 2013: 220.4
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Tue Apr 30, 2013 10:52 am; edited 11 times in total
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nosnos



Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh dear Kathleen. The title 'the blessings of simplicity' that you were inspired to write about after a post of mine commending you for your weight loss and peace of mind following no s- is laughable now given the reality that you are literally changing your diet everyday... Your life seems to revolve around complex acronyms and specific, multiple rules.
I hope you get back on track soon and (this is said with TONS of compassion) I wonder if you might consider counceling or therapy in case there is an emotional root to all of this.
With no s you lost weight, you could live your life and you set a great example for your kids (all the goals you repeatedly mention) and yet a part of you could not let you continue.
Now no s is not the only answer for weightloss- but it did work for you each time you tried (until you start tweaking) and that was even without the one plate rule (the only tweak you seem to avoid).
I don't believe it is fair to assume you won't lost weight on nos because of your age (plenty of 'older' posters round here. And I believe if you re-read your diary you'd see that weight loss stopped when you started tweaking.
You have to do what's right for you but may I remind you that no weight loss comes quickly- THE ONLY DIET THAT WORKS IS ONE YOU FOLLOW. If you fall you get back up and start again... On the same plan.
Internet messages can sometimes sound a little harsh. I hope it comes accross that I wish you well and will be sending my support and prayers from the otherside of the world to you regardless of your dietary choices.
Big Hug,
Nosnos
PS if ever my comments are unwanted just say. X
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nosnos,

There could be complex psychological reasons for my binge behavior. I have considered it, but my gut sense is there are not. The book Intuitive Eating had a chapter or so on Ancel Key's experiments with starvation during World War II in which he got conscientious objectors to go on starvation diets and the results were disturbing. These men who had been tested as psychologically normal ended up with bizarre eating behavior including binge behavior.

The more I look at what I am doing, the more I see that the binge behavior is the core of my problem. Binges are solitary affairs. You eat fast and by yourself. What I am trying to do is separate out all the extraneous issues from that central issue. I do think that, like the men in Ancel Key's experiments, my binge behavior developed as a result of following restricted eating rules.

My way to address it is to allow unrestricted eating with rules around solitary eating which is when binge behavior takes place. That does not means that I will eat fast in front of others. I was out to breakfast this morning and ate following the rules except for avoiding distractions because we were in a social situation.

Feedback is helpful. It can take time to sink in. I think I'm on the right path, but your post is an indicator that I may not be. It feels great to exercise. I'm trying to exercise Monday through Saturday, and I'm setting up monthly personal training. I return to the personal trainer on Tuesday.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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nosnos



Joined: 22 Apr 2011
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As a former binger I can understand that feeling of no control (3 years binge free now- woo hoo!).
In my case it was caused by diet backlash and as soon as I stopped starving myself- actually I think around the time I started no s it stopped.
However looking back I had a lot going on in my life and maybe I started the crazy diets as a way to fill my life and control somthing.

Here are the questions... If binges are a purely physical reaction then won't they go away after a few months of eating at or above TDEE (Total daily Eneregy Expenditure). That is that it seems that the metabolism can recover fairly quickly from over- dieting if the body starts receiving adequate food.

I can bet you would be able to hit those numbers while eating 3 meals a day (and in fact have done in the past).
2ndly when you started this diary with the peanut cluster diet you were following the same logic, you ate unconditionally and gained weight...
I feel you have argued the same point before and while there is an elkement of truth- It ain't the whoie truth.
You seem to have a lovely optimistic overlook - unfortunatly I feel it leads you to the belief that your most recent idea is your best idea. Re-read even just this most recent page of your diary and it will come clear that you've been going in circles.
Thank you for being so open to my former comment. My frankness only coimes from my concern for you. X nos
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My No s Diet Review

My Food Rules Review
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Anoulie



Joined: 25 Sep 2009
Posts: 422

PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kathleen -- nobody knows for sure where your unhealthy eating behaviour comes from. It may be restrictive dieting in the past, genetics, anything else. The thing is that (unless you regularly see a mental health professional that uses depth psychology to work with you) the reason behind your eating behaviour does not matter. What does matter is how you handle the urge to binge from now on. Look back to your old posts and you'll see -- as nosnos said -- during the times you did No S, it actually worked. Until you decided to add mods, that is. Why don't you try No S again, just the basic framework, even with the "I must have everything in front of me before I start a meal" mod, just for 21 days? Record your failures and successes every day, then, after 21 days (and only then!) evaluate how you liked those three weeks. If it turns out you weren't happy then, you can try something else. If you decide you liked the program, carry on.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anoulie,
1
The No S Diet did have some benefits. I simply tuned out eating when it was not mealtime. I did lose weight. Why not return to it? I think it perpetuated the idea that I should eat everything I am allowed to eat, so I just ate all weekend every weekend and then piled food in front of me at mealtimes. What I am trying now is really intuitive eating with manners. I can eat whatever I want whenever I want but need to eliminate binge behavior which means following those eating rules.

Yesterday, we had bagels at lunch as a Sunday treat and then Tom made a pizza about 2 PM. I had two slices of that pizza. As I ate it, I thought to myself, "Am I hungry?" Answer: No. "Am I enjoying the pizza?" Answer: No. "Am I eating for social reasons?" Answer: Possibly, but then why have two slices of pizza rather than one? Answer: I don't know, but here is my theory: I eat when I can. Another diet is always around the corner. Now, I am naturally reducing my caloric intake by how I eat. Yesterday, I did follow the eating rules, and I still ate two slices of pizza. What was different? I was sitting there thinking, "Why am I eating this?" Next time, maybe, not out of any desire to lose weight, I'll sit there and think: "You know what? I don't like the pizza, and I'm not hungry, so I'm not eating it."

The real trick to permanent weight loss is to not want to eat the food. To many, this statement is a complete pipe dream. I'm seeking what does not exist and will never exist. Since I'm a whopping 223.8 pounds as of this morning, there is every reason for you to believe I'm pursuing a pipe dream.

I'm going to pursue it and see what happens. Meanwhile, I exercised six times last week and was on the exercise bike for 30 minutes this morning at 5:30 AM.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Anoulie



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 5:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't mean to talk back or anything -- after all, you know yourself and your own body best -- but I know virtually no-one who didn't binge on weekends when they started the diet. Even I, with no history of binging whatsoever, ate way too much for my own taste on weekends (and often still do) and guess what? I still lost weight and felt happy with my diet 6.5 days out of 7.

It's true that the best way to lose weight permanently is to not want to eat the food. It would be great if we could all do that. But the thing is that many of us, with a history of disordered eating, starving ourselves, then binging, then exercising vigorously, etc., for those of us it's just not possible to eat the way a thin person does without giving ourselves some restrictions. Besides, for me, No S is so much simpler and easier and gives me much less of a headache than anything like RESET or IE or whatever.

I'm just describing my own experience, but I think maybe you could benefit from it. I sincerely wish you all the best, no matter what you end up deciding.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anoulie,
No S taught me that the feeling of hunger is not necessarily physical, and that was a wonderful insight for me.

Let me tell you what happened today at lunch. I'm in a different building from the people with whom I am working because I am a contractor. I know no one there. As a result, when it is lunchtime, there are no social pressures whatsoever. I can go to the cafeteria and eat what I want when I want.

Today I went and got some sort of a spinach wrap meal because I felt hungry. I ate a little more than half of it and then asked myself, "Am I still hungry?" No. "Am I enjoying this?" No. "Why am I eating it?" I ended up tossing it.

Now, had I been on No S, I would have weighed in the equation when I would next eat, which is really unclear. Tonight, I have to get Tom to the tailor's to get his Boy Scout pants hemmed (he finally got in his Eagle application) and Katie to Kumon. I have to pick up new glasses and get Ellie to baritone lessons. Had I restricted myself to three meals per day, I would have eaten that less than ideal wrap thinking it was possible I would next eat close to 8 PM. As it was, I tossed it thinking I could eat as soon as I got home.

It's very helpful to me to get questioned on what I am doing and having to put in words what I am doing and why. Thank you. I ended up deciding there was a limit to the effectiveness of No S for me, but that means nothing regarding its effectiveness for others.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



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Posts: 1491
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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The RESET Diet: April 15, 2013
R: Record exercise
E: Exercise
S: Sit down to eat
E: Eat without distractions
T: Take hand away from mouth or place utensil(s) down while chewing and swallowing.

Take Sundays off.
My goal is one pound down per week for five weeks, then one week off, then one pound down per week for five weeks, then two weeks off, and so on. I weigh in on Mondays. If I am above goal weight, I restrict calories until I am back to goal weight.

Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Monday, April 15, 2013: 225.0
(Month 2) Day 17 - Wednesday, May 1, 2013: 221.4

Day 17 - May 1, 2013: I am finding that following those eating habits is resulting in so much weight loss that I am slowing down the weight loss by only following the rules sometimes. I want to lose weight slowly and permanently which means one pound per week.

7 PM: I am back to thinking I am making this way too hard on myself. If I just focus on the eating habits and let everything go, I know I'll lose weight. Maybe I should not weigh myself or journal for all of this month and see what I weigh next month. It snowed today -- how awesome! I spend too much time in front of a computer and too much time thinking when life is meant to be lived and experienced!

Day 23 - Wednesday, May 7, 2013: 220.6 My part time work ends next week, and I am just swamped at home with getting Tommy to AP tests. He's also managed to complete and get his Eagle application approved, which is great. Meanwhile, I've been considering my approach to weight as a great timesink. The big problem is doing something and accepting the weight that results is too risky, but weighing myself and then changing behavior based on the scale leads to constant change and no building of habit. I bopped over the BrightAngels' Web site and read up on her recent thoughts on the scale. It's really a tough call what to do. I decided on a hybrid approach.

I will change behavior based on weight but only on Mondays or the next day I can weigh myself. If I am below my goal weight, then I'll restrict calories in some way to be determined. I will have a goal weight of one pound down per week until I get to 220, then take a week where I stay at 220, then go down 5 pounds in 5 weeks, then take 2 weeks off, then go down one pound per week, and so on... an arithmetric progression. 5 - 1- 5 - 2 -5 -3 -5 -4.

The core is still these eating habits, although I think I'll take Sundays off even for them. It's harder to follow them than I had thought.

I think of this wonderful prayer:
God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.

My basic assumption is that you cannot constantly control portion size unless you have the self-discipline that is way beyond what I have, since those who control portion size constantly feel like they are starving all the time. What you can control is eating habits. I do think that following these eating habits makes me less hungry. For sure, it forces choices: If I cannot read and eat at the same time, I am forced to choose, and sometimes reading wins out.

The client where I am must have been promoting a book called Strengthfinders. Out of curiosity, I ordered the book and took a test which identified my top 5 strengths with recommendations. For one of my strengths, the recommendation was that I keep a journal or blog to sort out my thoughts. How funny is that?

Day 25 - Friday, May 10, 2013: 223.8 Wow. Has it only been two days since I so confidently laid out a plan that provided a backstop of portion control if I did not lose enough weight according to a schedule I laid out and then put down in my brand new calendar? How many times do I need to learn this lesson? I did not binge because I was about to control my portions. I binged because I had laid out a scenario under which I might, in some undefined way, control my portions. The timing would be no earlier than next Monday, and yet I immediately started overeating.

Well, now I can give up on dieting and just live my life. I can plan out exercise and follow those eating rules and give up on trying to reach a certain wait. I hope I'm done.

8 AM: I just went to exercise and thought, maybe I am finally done with portion control as a back up plan. I can better spend my time exercising than tracking my weight or coming up with ever new ideas. Stick with those simple eating rules to the best of my ability will reap large rewards. All I have to do is follow them!

Day 26 – Saturday, May 11, 2013: 221.8 Now my weight is lower because I gave up on portion control. Maybe use of the scale is a good idea. Maybe having a modest weight goal is a good idea. I weighed myself this morning and thought I could get back on track just by being below 221 on Monday. That should not be difficult.

Chris Christie took the plunge and got weight loss surgery. From what I have observed in the few people I have known to have surgery, it's a mixed blessing. You do lose a lot of weight quickly but you can reverse those losses fairly easily. You have to struggle to maintain the loss. I think the reason may be, at least in part, that your body needs slow weight loss in order to adjust to it well enough that you don't feel like you are starving.

5 PM: I plotted out my weight if I were to track to a goal of doing this:
- lose one pound per week for five weeks and take a break for one week
- lose one pound per week for five weeks, then take a break of two weeks (repeat twice)
- lose one pound per week for five weeks followed by a break of three weeks (repeat three times)
- lose one pound per week for five weeks followed by a break of four weeks (repeat four times)
- lose one pound per week for five weeks followed by a break of five weeks (repeat five times)
That puts me at 145 in December, 2015. I don't panic at the thought of losing weight that quickly because it's not quick! I take the weight off in chunks of five pounds with breaks in between. Result? I can't remember the last time I weighed 145, but I think it was before I got pregnant with Ellie in 2000. Slow but steady wins the race. This is my goal.

Now what am I looking at? I'm thinking I weigh 221.8 as of this morning and all I need to do is get below 221. That's not so bad. That's not scary. I need to focus on a more immediate goal, not the overwhelming number of total pounds to lose. I need to think of that prayer from St. John Newmann: "One step enough for me."

Day 27 – Sunday, May 12, 2013: 221.4 I think what I'm going to do is add the requirement of writing down what I eat if I am over my goal weight for the week (which changes every Monday) or do not have access to a scale. I need to be down .4 pound by tomorrow morning if I am going to avoid writing down what I eat.

Day 28 – Monday, May 13, 2013: 220.8 I cut back yesterday to make sure I got below 221 so I would not have to write down what I eat today. It's easy. I don't have the diet backlash from making a commitment to lose a lot of weight right now. Instead, I just have to lose one more pound by next Monday and then have a week off. Slow but steady... Am I counting calories? No.

Day 29 – Tuesday, May 14, 2013: 220.0 It's basically reassuring to set a series of weight loss goals on a weekly basis that are so easy to achieve. I am not going to have that unbearable feeling of starvation by following a diet in which I lose weight this slowly.

I am going to look at continuing the mathematical pattern of weight loss after 145 pounds (as of December, 2015) in this way:
- lose one pound per week for four weeks and take a break for five weeks (repeat four times)
- lose one pound per week for three weeks, then take a break of five weeks (repeat three times)
- lose one pound per week for two weeks followed by a break of five weeks (repeat twice)
- lose one more pound and be done.

That pattern puts me down to below 120, and I am not ever going to get there. That is underweight. At some point in this pattern of weight loss, I'll reach a weight I like that I can maintain and there I'll stop.

Day 30 – Wednesday, May 15, 2013: 218.8 It's like the wind died. Suddenly, there is a change. The fear of starvation is over. This morning, I didn't even finish my bowl of cereal. I'm not trying to lose weight any faster than I am. I'm just eating what I want. Incredible.

Do I need to write down everything I eat if I cannot weigh myself? No. I'll just monitor my weight as I can. If this continues, I'll settle for the weight I get. What happened? I think establishing a very slow weight loss program meant to me that I was not going to have that feeling of starvation which comes with sticking with a diet. It was over. I don't even have any fear of a meal being delayed because I can eat what I want when I do eat.

4 PM: Maybe I don't need to be quite so militant in tracking and recording my weight and feelings. Maybe once per week recording my weight is enough. I don't want to upset anything right now. If I continue with the appetite I have now, I should become pretty thin. It turns out most of my eating was caused by setting up diet rules, even the reasonable ones with No S. All I really needed to do was slow down my eating and allow myself to eat what I wanted. Lesson learned.

Day 31 – Thursday, May 16, 2013: 218.0 Why tweak something that's working? I should just keep weighing myself daily. I do remember that I came up with a similar diet years ago and called it The Monday Morning Diet because every Monday I was supposed to weigh 1/2 pound less. What is the difference here? I think the difference is that I built in plateau weeks. This coming week I am to weigh 220 or below and then I have a week off, a week when all I have to do is maintain. At any rate, there is no panic in me about meeting these goals. Am I trying to lose more weight than the goal? Nope. It is just happening. I don't need to eat now because I can eat later. I have a natural tendency to make a catastrophe out of everything, and I think I made a mess out of dieting. I anticipated starvation and binged. Great. Now I see 218 pounds in the mirror, but that is OK because the code to the combination lock has been found: I needed slow weight loss goals with plateaus.

2 PM: Do I worry that I am losing weight too fast? Nah... This extra weight loss is building a buffer against plateaus in the future. Today, I met with a personal trainer and will slowly start a strengthening program. I have been on the bike three times per week for the past several weeks. Yeah! I have two goals this summer: health and organization.

Day 32 – Friday, May 17, 2013: 217.6 Now that work is over, I am just swamped! Tom had his last AP exam yesterday and has his Eagle Board of Review next week. I have stuff to do for my Outdoor Chair role. Anne comes home Saturday. Anne and Tommy have their annual physicals next week. I am caught up in life. I am not spending much time thinking about food, that's for sure! My desire is so diminished it is hard to describe. How I would now describe my appetite was relentless, neverending... I just always wanted to eat. Now I am in exercise clothes to go on the bike and have had a banana this morning. That's it. It is a little early to celebrate, but my goal has been that my desire to overeat stop, not that that I develop the self-discipline to control overeating. Trying to accept what weight results from following these diet rules did not work. What worked was setting a very low bar for weight loss and being willing to "cut back" if I was over that weight. It's too early to celebrate, but it feels like something which has been present for most of my life, an unwelcome guest, has now left.

Day 33 – Saturday, May 18, 2013: 220.0 I have no idea why my weight shot up so much, but it doesn't matter because my goal weight for Monday is 220. I just have to watch what I eat now.

Day 34 – Sunday, May 19, 2013: 218.6 Weight fluctuates. If my weight loss goal is modest, then fluctuations are not a problem.

11 AM: I think that part of the success of following this diet might be to be less obsessive about dieting in general. I can look at my modest weight loss goals and just say maybe on occasion I need to make a decision to cut back on how much I eat for a day or two but that's about it. Over time, more and more weeks are plateau weeks. I lose weight so gradually that my body can adjust to the lower weight. There is no big moment decision that I will starve from here on out. Instead, it's like a gradual decline.

It may be time to shut off writing about it. I can just record my weight instead of writing how I feel and why. This is all extraneous. The focus needs to be on actual weight on the scale and exercise.

Day 35 – Monday, May 20, 2013: 219.6 I was ahead in my goal so I relaxed and allowed myself to revert to old eating habits. Instead of looking at it as a failure, I consider it a break. I am adjusting to new habits and appreciate the break. Now I have one week off. I just have to maintain this weight for a week before I try to lose another five pounds. This is easy. There is very little pressure on me. I don't have a siege mentality which has been the norm for dieting.

Day 36 – Tuesday, May 21, 2013: 220.4 I just plain took a break yesterday and today and now I'm ready to return to RESET eating. That's OK. My goal is to be at a set weight by a Monday. I think a commitment to slow weight loss and a strategy for eating less to get to that lower weight must be the core requirement of long term weight loss.

Day 37 – Wednesday, May 22, 2013: 220.6 Anne had her physical on Monday, and she is down 22 pounds from last year. She is following a modified version of No S. I am happy for her. Despite her success, I continue on my path. I think I needed a break. I had a break the last two days. I reached my goal weight of 220 for Monday and don't need to lose weight for next week, so this was a great time for a break.

My skinny little 12 year old, all of 85 pounds, has a 25" waist which means she cannot fit into a skirt I wore when I was single (and had a 24" waist). I just now measured my waist at 40 3/4 ". It has expanded recently, and I am doing exercises with a personal trainer to strengthen my core muscles to help with reducing my waist measurement. She taught me an exercise called the bridge, and I am wondering if this exercise can affect appetite. It is possible it can change the shape of my stomach. I'm not sure. I like what this woman is doing with Katie who needs to prepare for a backpacking trip so I decided to start personal training with her. I was going to just talk with her once per month but I may try weekly personal training this summer. My goal is to have a program in place by the end of the summer which I can use when I am working during the school year. Three times per week on the exercise bike downstairs will be my cardio. Now I need to look at strengthening exercises and flexibility. I told her what I want is 3 times per week (30 minutes each time) cardio plus 3 times per week (30 minutes each time) flexibility and strengthening. She started me with the bridge. She does Pilates, so I'll see where this takes me.

Day 38 – Thursday, May 23, 2013: I talked Tom into letting me do weekly personal training ($30/week) for the summer. We are having Katie do it in preparation for backpacking. This is my summer to get into shape.

Day 39 – Friday, May 24, 2013: 220.6 I wasn't going to weigh myself for fear of the result, but I need to face reality. Today is less stressful. Anne got a job at Target yesterday, and Tommy earned his Eagle last night.

Day 40 – Saturday, May 25, 2013: 221.6 I took a break from those SET rules and now it is really difficult to go back to them. I think I'll take a break every Sunday so I don't experience this problem again -- every Sunday except tomorrow, that is, since I need to be starting the process again to lose five more pounds. I can't say I look like a weight loss success, but in a strange way I feel like one. Diet = panic, and this diet does not cause panic.

Day 41 – Sunday, May 26, 2013: 219.6 I was happy with today's weight! I needed a break from those eating habits, and I got the break in this past week. Now I can look forward to five more weeks of losing five pounds total and then two weeks of another break. For too many years, I gritted my teeth as I started a diet, thinking it was a commitment for the rest of my life, and I was miserable and inevitably failed. Just the thought of going on another diet led to a binge. Now what? Now I see five weeks of no portion control and just following three simple rules. I am also taking advantage of the kids still being in school to work on exercise as well.

It's funny: my personal trainer asked, "What are your goals?" I could sense some frustration in her but didn't really understand why. What I told her is I could use the exercise bike three days per week for cardio but wanted to work with her to develop and program of flexibility and strengthening that I could do three times per week. This would be something I could do while working. The idea is 1/2 hour on the bike on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and 1/2 hour of strengthening and flexibility on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.

Afterwards, it occurred to me that she was looking for me to say losing weight is one of my goals. I am, after all, nearly 100 pounds overweight and going to a personal trainer. Somehow I never really tied exercise to weight loss. My goal for exercise is better health. About two months ago, I stopped being able to lift my bend my knee so I could easily clip my nails, and it scared me. I even asked my parents if they still clip their nails, and they do. My parents are 87 and 88 years old. I realized that I'm headed to disability if I don't focus on health now.

Day 42 – Monday, May 27, 2013: 221.4 Here is where I throw in the towel on the diet.... really? No! I have time. With such a slow weight loss schedule, I have time to recover. It may be that No S rules kick in when I'm above weight. That sounds like a good plan.

In the words of the great Shakespeare, "One swallow does not a summer make." I always felt like I was on the edge of disaster with other diets. With this diet, it is different. I have time. I need gates, so to speak, and those gates are Monday mornings when I weigh myself. If I am above a scheduled weight, then I need to change behavior. Going to No S is a good idea because I am familiar with it.

Day 43 – Tuesday, May 28, 2013: 221.6 I had the same binge behavior yesterday with No S that I developed with The Novena Diet. Tradition has it that fasting is the cure for gluttony, so I'm going to fast until dinner. All I need to do is get to 219 by Monday. That is achievable. I can manage even with the past two days of disaster. My secret weapon now is to go back to reading the book Excitotoxins. I lost weight quickly reading that because it turned me off to almost all food.

9:36 PM: Today was another miserable day. I give up on having weight loss goals. I'm better off focusing on exercise and following those RESET rules. I had not quite figured this out previously, but it makes a huge difference whether you have a process goal (what you do) vs. an achievement goal (what you reach). With weight loss, maybe having a specific goal isn't such a hot idea. Oh, am I tired tonight. I have been exercising to get myself to the point where I can do harder exercises. There is a lot of room for improvement. It is much better for me to focus on goals with exercise than goals with weight. Turn the page... I turn the page on the debacle of trying to control my weight...

Day 44 – Wednesday, May 29, 2013: The only way to give up on a "portion control" approach to weight management is to give up on a weight goal. I didn't realize that. I feel more settled now. Did I weigh myself today? Nope. There's no point. I am actually sore from exercising and today is an exercise bike morning. I really like the personal trainer. She has good posture which few Americans do. Years ago, I came upon a book called 8 Steps to a Pain Free Back and since then I've tried to follow the ideas in the book. This personal trainer teaches Pilates which I am trying to learn. What I'm doing now is called heel taps. I lie down with one leg bent at the knee. With the other leg, I go from a bent knee to extending my leg and tapping my heel on the floor. It looks ridiculously easy, but I can only do five of them before it starts to hurt. I've got a long way to go in improving my physical activity, and this is my number one goal this summer.

Day 45 – Thursday, May 30, 2013: 221.0

Day 46 – Friday, May 31, 2013: 220.2 I decided that having a goal isn't such a bad idea. The bad idea is having a rigid process. As a result, I'm back to the R in RESET. I can record what I eat. When I see my weight go up, I can look at the record of food eating and see why. Having such a long time to lose weight gives me the buffer time to make some mistakes like I did this week.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Fri May 31, 2013 12:58 pm; edited 34 times in total
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nonoodles



Joined: 01 Apr 2012
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're making progress!!! Don't get in your own way! Follow your rules always, not now and then. How else can you build new habits if you don't? Trust me, losing too fast will not be a problem over the long haul. If only it were. Smile
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nonoodles,
I got a chuckle out of your posting. Isn't it amazing how much a person can conjure up problems that aren't problems at all? You're right: I don't need to be worried about losing weight too fast!
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed May 15, 2013 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The RESET Diet: April 15, 2013
R: Record food eaten, exceptions to eating habits, and exercise
E: Exercise
S: Sit down to eat
E: Eat without distractions
T: Take hand away from mouth or place utensil(s) down while chewing and swallowing.

Sundays are a day of rest.

May 15, 2103: Between 5/10/13 and today, something happened that I hope continues. I lost the driving desire to eat as much as I could. I think that this change was effected by three things: deciding to follow those eating habits listed above, exercising, and setting up a very slow weight loss goal program that enabled me to simply cut back on Sunday in order to make my weight for the week. For my weight loss schedule, I also planned in weeks when I did not lose any weight so there are built in plateaus. This won't be hard. It's "Inch by inch, life's a cinch" and those glorious words of the poem by St. John Newmann, in particular "one step enough for me":

Lead Kindly Light Hymn

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom, lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on.
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till the night is gone,
And with the morn those angel faces smile, which I
Have loved long since, and lost awhile!

Meantime, along the narrow rugged path, Thyself hast trod,
Lead, Savior, lead me home in childlike faith, home to my God.
To rest forever after earthly strife
In the calm light of everlasting life.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri May 31, 2013 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: April 15, 2013

If not at or below weight goal for week, fast until 3 PM (no calories) and finish by 7 PM each day until meeting the weight goal.

PLUS Exercise



Weight for Month
Day 47 – Saturday, June 1, 2013:
Day 48 – Sunday, June 2, 2013: 220.8
Day 49 – Monday, June 3, 2013:

Day 1 – Tuesday, June 4, 2013: 222.0

Day 51 – Wednesday, June 5, 2013: 221.8
Day 3 – Thursday, June 6, 2013: 219.0
Day 4 – Friday, June 7, 2013: 221.6
Day 5 – Saturday, June 8, 2013: 219.2
Day 6 – Sunday, June 9, 2013: 219.6
Day 7 – Monday, June 10, 2013: 220.2
Day 8 – Tuesday, June 11, 2013: 219.2
Day 9 – Wednesday, June 12, 2013:
Day 10 – Thursday, June 13, 2013: 219.2
Day 11 – Friday, June 14, 2013: 220.2
Day 12 – Saturday, June 15, 2013:
Day 13 – Sunday, June 16, 2013:
Day 14 – Monday, June 17, 2013:
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 18, 2013:
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 19, 2013:
Day 17 – Thursday, June 20, 2013:
Day 18 – Friday, June 21, 2013:
Day 19 – Saturday, June 22, 2013:
Day 20 – Sunday, June 23, 2013:
Day 21 – Monday, June 24, 2013:
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 25, 2013:
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 26, 2013:
Day 24 – Thursday, June 27, 2013:
Day 25 – Friday, June 28, 2013:
Day 26 – Saturday, June 29, 2013:
Day 27 – Sunday, June 30, 2013:

Journal
Day 47 – Saturday, June 1, 2013: I did not weigh myself today because I ate a ton yesterday, and that's OK. It may be that my body can best adjust to a lower weight by eating little on some days and way too much on other days. For years, I have thought dieting meant "perfect compliance", and now I see the folly of that idea. There are just too many variables. Instead, I'm aiming for a specific weight each week.

Day 48 – Sunday, June 2, 2013: 220.8 Tomorrow, I am supposed to weigh 219. People have a hard time losing 10 pounds. I think I need to develop a mindset that I'm losing 5 pounds. My goal is to get to 215 pounds over the next four weeks. While today is a day of rest, it is not a day to binge. I need to be getting to 219 pounds ASAP.

9 PM: This was not a good day. I think I'm going to spend the next nine days faking it until I make it, in other words eating less. Then I'll weigh myself.

Day 49 – Monday, June 3, 2013:

Day 1 – Tuesday, June 4, 2013: 222.0 If you try to manage your life by the scale, you are constantly changing things. That is an awful way to live. I'm taking one year to exercise six times per week and follow the SET rules and that's it.

Day 51 – Wednesday, June 5, 2013: 221.8 I just cannot stand the thought of continuing like this, so maybe that is the trigger for change. I need to lose weight. How the heck am I going to get into a swimsuit this summer? I think I'll try sticking with the gradual weight loss but fasting every day except Sunday or on social occasions until dinner if I am not at my goal weight. Ick. Ick. Ick. I am disgusted by the wasted time and extra fat from all this floundering around.

Day 52 – Thursday, June 6, 2013: 219.0 Yesterday, I sailed through the day busy as could be and was not bothered at all by not eating. I started eating at 3:50 PM and finished by 6:30 PM. Do I expect this low a weight tomorrow? Nope. I expect my weight to go up because I'm not going to fast today. That's OK. Each week, I just need to meet the weight goal for the week, not maintain it.

Day 53 – Friday, June 7, 2013: 221.6 Fating is easy. I've established that. Does it work for weight loss? Well, I think I must do it a lot more than a day or two per week to wring out of my body the driving desire for more and more food. I think I'll try to fast every day when no one will see that I am fasting. Today, for example, is the first day out of school for everyone. I usually get up and eat about 6:30. I'm up now. The kids, no doubt, will sleep in. It is dinner we eat together, not other meals. I am running a taxi service for the kids so they won't notice. I feel sad today that my weight is just .2 pounds under what it was two days ago, but that is the way it is. I'm at least 80 pounds overweight. It is going to take something drastic for my body to adjust to less food.

Day 54 – Saturday, June 8, 2013: 219.2 I got up after 7:30 today, so my lower weight is in part due to getting up so late. I am going to fast again today. I am thinking I may want to add "one bite at a time" which means that I finish chewing and swallowing each bite before preparing the next one. Yesterday, after 3, I shoveled food. That's not what I want.

It is very easy to fast.

Day 55 – Sunday, June 9, 2013: 219.6 I did fast until 3 yesterday but still went up in weight on the scale. That's OK. I realized I have a goal-oriented diet and not a process-oriented diet. I'm just trying to get my weight down and can try different things to stay on track. Today I think I may count calories. I should be at or below 219 ad am not. Tomorrow I should be at or below 218. If I am below target weight, I can relax.

6 PM: Portion control did not work -- again. I am back to fasting. I wanted to take Sunday off anyway, so it doesn't much matter.

Day 56 – Monday, June 10, 2013: 220.2 I am happy that I didn't gain that much weight yesterday even though I ate all day. I may be able to get down to 218 after one or two days of fasting. Fasting is a very different experience from a portion control approach to dieting. With portion control, I at least became obsessed with food. With fasting, I just don't. I don't feel hungry until afternoon at the earliest, and I can focus on other things because I am not spending time preparing, eating, and cleaning up after meals. On today's agenda: transporting kids to tennis lessons, swim lessons, swim team practice, and a grad party.

Day 57 – Tuesday, June 11, 2013: 219.2 I considered moving more quickly on losing weight, and the result was that I ate a lot very quickly right at 3 and then was eating until 10. I have to settle down and just follow this diet slowly. This week's goal is 218. It is not 216. My concern has to do with vacations when I won't have access to the scale. Too bad. I'll catch up if necessary.

Day 9 – Wednesday, June 12, 2013: I anticipated a problem with following this diet while on vacation and tried the SET Diet yesterday. I didn't in actual fact follow those rules and now decided to take my lumps in admitting to my bizarre fasting idea when we are on vacation. Until then, I can easily fast until 3 PM especially during the week. I decided to fast today and tomorrow and then weigh myself on Friday morning.

Day 10 – Thursday, June 13, 2013: 219.2 This stinks. I weight what I did two days ago. I think I know why. When I could eat starting at 3 PM yesterday, I ate a lot. I even ate ice cream in the bedroom at night!

Fasting is the religious response to gluttony. I think I'm realizing why. If I fast until 3 PM and then eat a lot, it really shows to me just how much I eat. This is somewhat similar to the No S philosophy in that limiting yourself to one plate shows me how much you eat.

Day 11 – Friday, June 14, 2013: 220.2 I stuck to the diet and only ate between 3 and 7 yesterday. I was so grumpy that Katie said I should go off this diet. Well, I am. We have no plans for this weekend except for chores, so I am going to count calories: 300 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, and 700 for dinner until I am back on track. I can catch up, but I am missing my goal for the week and that stinks.

Day 12 – Saturday, June 15, 2013:
Day 13 – Sunday, June 16, 2013:
Day 14 – Monday, June 17, 2013:
Day 15 – Tuesday, June 18, 2013:
Day 16 – Wednesday, June 19, 2013:
Day 17 – Thursday, June 20, 2013:
Day 18 – Friday, June 21, 2013:
Day 19 – Saturday, June 22, 2013:
Day 20 – Sunday, June 23, 2013:
Day 21 – Monday, June 24, 2013:
Day 22 – Tuesday, June 25, 2013:
Day 23 – Wednesday, June 26, 2013:
Day 24 – Thursday, June 27, 2013:
Day 25 – Friday, June 28, 2013:
Day 26 – Saturday, June 29, 2013:
Day 27 – Sunday, June 30, 2013:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:06 pm; edited 13 times in total
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Goal and Actual Weight Summary
(Week 1) 4/15/13: 225.0
(Week 2) 4/22/13 - 224.0 (Actual weight of 223.8 on 4/22/13)
(Week 3) 4/29/13 - 223.0 (221.4) From now on, no date given unless different from goal date
(Week 4) 5/6/13 - 222.0 (222.6)
(Week 5) 5/13/13 - 221.0 (220.8 )
(Week 6) 5/20/13 - 220.0 (219.6)
(Week 7) 5/27/13 - 220.0 (221.4)
(Week 8 ) 6/3/13 - 219.0 (219.0 on 6/6/13)
(Week 9) 6/10/13 - 218.0
(Week 10) 6/17/13 - 217.0
(Week 11) 6/24/13 - 216.0
(Week 12) 7/1/13 - 215.0
(Week 13) 7/8/13 - 215.0
(Week 14) 7/15/13 - 215.0
(Week 15) 7/22/13 - 214.0
(Week 16) 7/29/13 - 213.0
(Week 17) 8/5/13 - 212.0
(Week 18 ) 8/12/13 - 211.0
(Week 19) 8/19/13 - 210.0
(Week 20) 8/26/13 - 210.0
(Week 21) 9/2/13 - 210.0
(Week 22) 9/9/13 - 209.0
(Week 23) 9/16/13 - 208.0
(Week 24) 9/23/13 - 207.0
(Week 25) 9/30/13 - 206.0
(Week 26) 10/7/13 - 205.0
(Week 27) 10/14/13 - 205.0
(Week 28 ) 10/21/13 - 205.0
(Week 29) 10/28/13 - 205.0
(Week 30) 11/4/13 - 204.0
(Week 31) 11/11/13 - 203.0
(Week 32) 11/18/13 - 202.0
(Week 33) 11/28/13 - 201.0
(Week 34) 12/2/13 - 200.0
(Week 35) 12/9/13 - 200.0
(Week 36) 12/16/13 - 200.0
(Week 37) 12/23/13 - 200.0
(Week 38 ) 12/20/13 - 199.0
(Week 39) 1/6/14 - 198.0
(Week 40) 1/13/14 - 197.0
(Week 41) 1/20/14 - 196.0
(Week 42) 1/27/14 - 195.0
(Week 43) 2/3/14 - 195.0
(Week 44) 2/10/14 - 195.0
(Week 45) 2/17/14 - 194.0
(Week 46) 2/24/14 - 194.0
(Week 47) 3/3/14 - 193.0
(Week 48 ) 3/10/14 - 192.0
(Week 49) 3/17/14 - 191.0
(Week 50) 3/24/14 - 190.0
(Week 51) 3/31/14 - 190.0
(Week 52) 4/7/14 - 190.0
(Week 53) 4/14/14 190.0
(Week 54) 4/21/14 -190.0
(Week 55) 4/28/14 - 189.0
(Week 56) 5/5/14 - 188.0
(Week 57) 5/12/14 - 187.0
(Week 58 ) 5/19/14 - 186.0
(Week 59) 5/26/14 - 185.0
(Week 60) 6/2/14 - 185.0
(Week 61) 6/9/14 - 185.0
(Week 62) 6/16/14 - 185.0
(Week 63) 6/23/14 - 185.0
(Week 64) 6/30/14 - 184.0
(Week 65) 7/7/14 - 183.0
(Week 66) 7/14/14 - 182.0
(Week 67) 7/21/14 - 181.0
(Week 68 ) 7/28/14 - 180.0
(Week 69) 8/4/14 - 180.0
(Week 70) 8/11/14 - 180.0
(Week 71) 8/18/14 - 180.0
(Week 72) 8/25/14 - 180.0
(Week 73) 9/1/14
(Week 74) 9/8/14
(Week 75) 9/15/14
(Week 76)
(Week 77)
(Week 78 )
(Week 79)
(Week 80)
(Week 81)
(Week 82)
(Week 83)
(Week 84)
(Week 85)
(Week 86)
(Week 87)
(Week 88 )
(Week 89)
(Week 90)
(Week 91)
(Week 92)
(Week 93)
(Week 94)
(Week 95)
(Week 96)
(Week 97)
(Week 98 )
(Week 99)
(Week 100)
(Week 101)
(Week 102)
(Week 103)
(Week 104)
(Week 105)
(Week 106)
(Week 107)
(Week 108 )
(Week 109)
(Week 110)
(Week 111)
(Week 112)
(Week 113)
(Week 114)
(Week 115)
(Week 116)
(Week 117)
(Week 118 )
(Week 119)
(Week 120)
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The RESET Diet: June 27, 2013
R: Record food eaten.
E: Exercise.
S: Sit down to eat.
E: Eat without distractions.
T: Take hand away from mouth or place utensil(s) down while chewing and swallowing.

* Examples: No need to record taste tests at grocery stores since you can't exactly sit down in the aisle to try the food. Also no need to record eating lunch at corporate lunch n learns.


Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, June 15, 2013: 220.0: Start

Weight during Current Month
Day 1 – Saturday, June 15, 2013:220.0: Start
Day 2 – Sunday, June 16, 2013: 220.6
Day 3 – Monday, June 17, 2013: 221.0
Day 4 – Tuesday, June 18, 2013: 220.2
Day 5 – Wednesday, June 19, 2013: 219.8
Day 6 – Thursday, June 20, 2013: 219.4
Day 7 – Friday, June 21, 2013: 219.6
Day 8 – Saturday, June 22, 2013: 219.4
Day 9 – Sunday, June 23, 2013: 219.0: Down 1 Pound From Start
Day 10 – Monday, June 24, 2013:220.0
Day 11 – Tuesday, June 25, 2013:219.4
Day 12 – Wednesday, June 26, 2013:219.4

Day 1 – Thursday, June 27, 2013:219.8

Day 1 – Friday, June 28, 2013:220.0
Day 2 – Saturday, June 29, 2013:
Day 3 – Sunday, June 30, 2013:

Journal
Day 11 – Saturday, June 15, 2013:220.0 I am back to exactly the diet I had on April 15 when I weighed 225 pounds. One thing that has stuck in my mind is reading somewhere that people who lose weight permanently tend to focus on health rather than weight. I now think I know why: they develop a process that they follow consistently. If you focus on weight, you change behavior based on the number on the scale. As I have learned in the recent past, this approach is very disruptive. I am ready to settle for the weight that result from following The RESET Diet. It's enough. I can follow it consistently and indefinitely. It's easy. It will result in my eating less for the simple fact that I'm forced to make choices. For example, if I am to eat without distractions and want to read, I have three choices:
1. Read only.
2. Eat only.
3. Read and eat and record that I did so.
Because I will want the occasional time to just sit and read and eat, I do think taking a day off is important, so I'll take off Sundays.

12:25 PM: I need to not change the process -- ever -- and just accept the weight that results. This is so different from exercising when I am constantly changing as I get stronger (although I am still ridiculously weak!) I've tweaked forever. This approach is the result of all that tweaking.

Day 2 – Sunday, June 16, 2013: 220.6 I ate yesterday because I could and, when I looked at my log of food eaten, I was disgusted. Today I can eat however I want and as much as I want, and right now all I want is a cup of coffee and the paper.

Day 3 – Monday, June 17, 2013: 221.0 Yesterday was my day off, and so it is not surprising I gained weight. Going forward? Going forward, I think this will work. It has the right focus. I have long thought that this was not a physical problem, and I think this diet addresses the real problem. I do not yet have a good enough grasp of the real problem to describe it, but I think it has to do with a person's dignity or it is a spiritual problem. A structure of eating habits has evaporated in this country. I pass by a McDonald's near my home and always see people driving out as they eat. Why? Can't they take a few minutes to enjoy their food? Have I ever done that? Yep. It's not they. It is I. Now I have an easy way to change because I am focused on following 3 habits for 6 days per week.

Day 4 – Tuesday, June 18, 2013: 220.2 I had purchased a box of Haagen Dazs bars from Costco and put it in the downstairs freezer where the kids might not see it. Yesterday I had three Haagen Dazs bars. By the third one, I was thinking, "Why am I eating this?" I was eating it because I could. This diet is all S Days all the time. Effective? Yes, I think it will be. It's not an Intuitive Eating approach because I am following eating rules and writing down what I eat, but it is a no portion control approach. I will eventually eat what makes me feel best physically, and yesterday I experienced that there is a limit to the pleasure of Haagen Dazs bars. If there is one thing I know, it's that I won't be eating 3 Haagen Dazs bars today. The thought of it makes me feel sick. I went through this same experience with S Days only I had breaks. I went through this same experience with intuitive eating only the overeating never stopped. Why do I think it will stop with this approach? Well, for one thing, it takes more time to sit down, turn off the radio, put down the paper, and eat one bite at a time. For another, I need to remember what I ate in order to write it down. I no longer am eating unconsciously.

The other big change for me is exercise. I am doing a lot of easy Pilates only it makes my entire core (stomach area) feel sore. I did some bridges after having the second Haagen Dazs bar, and it occurred to me that perhaps a person has a lower appetite if the core muscles are stronger. I don't know. I just know that I felt somewhat uncomfortable doing those bridges. The Y has a sale going on, and I bought 66 30-minute personal training sessions for the price of 60. That's $1,620. That is a commitment on my part to exercise. Katie is doing personal training in the summer in preparation for backpacking in August, but I plan to do it weekly for the foreseeable future. I told the personal trainer that I'm willing to work hard this summer to get to the point where I do 30 minutes of exercise bike 3 times per week plus 30 minutes of exercises from her 3 times per week. She's having me do something called heel taps that are really hard only they look downright silly. All I do is lie down with knees bent and lift one leg at a time about 3 inches. When I showed Tom the exercise, he was shocked. It is pathetic how out of shape I am, but I am determined to have as one of my top priorities 30 minutes per day of exercise 6 days per week.

Day 6 – Thursday, June 20, 2013: 219.4 I decided to just record exceptions to following eating habits instead of recording all food eaten. That will put a greater focus on following those three eating habits. Yesterday, with personal training, I learned a mini crunch. It is pathetic. All I do is lift my head a few inches. Is it hard? Yep. I'm to do five twice per day. I believe that those core exercises of Pilates could affect appetite because they are changing my stomach area slowly. Sucking in as much as I can, I have a 37" waist now.

I also think this is so easy to follow I should just follow it all the time, even on Sundays. There is no day of rest from the eating rules, although I will try to minimize exercise on Sundays. I'm also not sure about the importance of recording exercise or weight, but I created a one page sheet for tracking weight and exceptions to eating habits, so I'll plan to track weight for the time being. As for exercise, I'm tracking that because of having a personal trainer. Pilates is difficult because it is so easy to do wrong. I've been focused on posture for years, but my posture was swayback rather than correct. That means a very slight difference, but oh I can tell the difference. I got into personal training because of wanting Katie to be ready for backpacking in August, but now I'm committed to it!

Day 7 – Friday, June 21, 2013: 219.6 I had Ellie take my picture today since I'm down five pounds from April 15. I am just fine with losing weight slowly. The approach has to be sustainable.

Day 8 – Saturday, June 22, 2013: 219.4 Now I know why it is so important for me to accept the weight that results from this diet. Last night, I bought pretzels and was eating them in the car on the drive home, which meant that I was not following my eating rules and would record that I ate it. I asked myself why I was doing this and realized the answer was that I could. Like a rebellious teen, I was doing and not enjoying. Teens stop rebelling if you draw a line, hold them to it, and allow freedom otherwise. I have the line for me -- eating rules or record what you eat, and now I need to allow freedom within it (no portion control) to let my body decide what feels good. Last night, I for sure ate more than made my body feel good. I need to hold out -- keep going -- so the rebellious teen in me matures. Diets make rebellious teens of us. Did I witness that last night! Tom sometimes gets pulled into arguments with Katie, and last night I said to him, "Don't be a teen to a teen."

Day 9 – Sunday, June 23, 2013: 219.0 I think Pilates may affect appetite. This was a completely unexpected side effect to doing those exercises which I got into because I noticed the personal trainer had such good posture and figured Katie could use the structure of personal training and then decided to have her for PT as well.

8 AM: To be able to have a Haagen Dazs bar at 8 in the morning, without guilt, and to really enjoy it, that is the essence of this diet. Yesterday Anne brought home pound cake that was available for Target clerks (her summer job) to take home because the power went out in the store, and I had a slice knowing what I really wanted was a Haagen Dazs bar. This morning, I just went and had a Haagen Dazs bar. It feels great to be able to eat like that. Now will I lose weight doing this? I actually think so. I think there is a lot of merit to the intuitive eating approach. I'm not interested in a second Haagen Dazs bar. There is no drive to binge. In fact, there is a deterrent to binge behavior in that I have to write down what I eat if I violate the eating rules. Have I finally found a weight loss approach that does not include portion control? Time will tell. I'm down six pounds from my all time high but I'm four pounds higher than my start weight when I started No S on September 8, 2008. Time will tell.

12 PM: After church, we drove by a park near the church. There never used to be games on Sunday morning and now there are. My son thinks it is ridiculous I feel bad about that, but I do. I have Joe Lieberman's book about a day of rest and think maybe I need to follow it more myself. It makes sense, I think, to allow myself the pleasure of reading and eating on Sundays, since there is such pleasure to me in it.

I also think there is a difference between breaking the SET eating rules for no good reason and having food when the only way to eat it is by breaking the SET rules. Two examples: I can now have taste tests at grocery stores without sitting in the aisle, and I can have lunch a corporate lunch n learns.

I think I'm going to dial back on journaling. It's no longer necessary. Maybe I can record my thoughts on my day of rest, on Sundays.

7 PM: I should not have been surprised but I was: the binge behavior returned with the suspension of the SET eating rules for the day. Ah ha... I think I have it... Incredible... What matters is how we eat. It affects how much we want to eat. I'm sold now on keeping to those rules. I will follow those rules unless it would be socially awkward to eat and follow those rules. I can have taste tests at Costco standing up, but when I'm home, I'm sitting down. Monthly updates from now on... I have a life to lead.

Day 1 – Thursday, June 27, 2013:219.8 One of my favorite sayings from my father is: "If something isn't working, try something else -- anything else!" Well, I've been looking for the magic diet, and all I've done is tweak and tweak. Maybe I need to take the words of John Henry Newmann to heart: "one step enough for me." I noticed that I was sitting down to eat as a way to procrastinate, so yesterday I decided to try adding a fourth rule: Eat at mealtime, when hungry, for social reasons or at taste tests. Those Costco taste tests tend to trip me up with dieting, so I'm just adding them as an allowed exception.

I do think I need to maintain the idea that I am creating habits that can be followed easily and for life. I am cultivating a way of life, not dieting for a period of time to lose a set amount of weight. I started with three rules (sit down to eat, eat without distraction, and take hand or utensils away form mouth while chewing.) I'm adding a fourth rule now.

Day 1 – Friday, June 28, 2013:220.0 That idea backfired. I didn't stop eating dinner. I just ate and ate. I am resigning myself to the necessity of recording what I eat. I read an article on personal finance in which it said that the key to managing money is to record what is spent, and I thought -- yep, true. If there was a way around that, I'd take it. Same thing with recording what I eat.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am going to take a pause here. If I knew that potential employers would have access to this blog, would I be writing it? No. I'm wondering if that could happen. The NSA tracking of all phone calls has me spooked, but it is more than that: I went looking for a place to sharpen kitchen knives, and now I've got Facebook postings from one shop that I had looked up. Yesterday, I had texts back and forth with my brother about First Lego League, and last night I got a Youtube recommendation for First Lego League. Now it's true Ellie was in lego robotics until January so perhaps the Youtube recommendation comes from prior emails and not from phone texts, but still... Do I want recommendations based on email content?

I can no longer expect an anonymous blog to be kept anonymous. Maybe I never should have expected it, but this was my way to work out my weight problem. Thank you to those who have offered me recommendations. I may still post. I'm not sure. I'm just no longer going to post and expect that my posts will be kept anonymous, so there's now a limit to what I will say.

If I do find a solution, I can be back, but I must admit I'm spooked.

Saturday, July 13, 2013: 217.4 Did I stumble onto a solution? Possibly. In April, I got a personal trainer for Katie who is going backpacking next month with Tom. I decided to have her as my personal trainer as well. Initially, I was just going to go to her once per month as a way to keep me accountable for exercise, but I ended up deciding on weekly training. She is a Pilates instructor, and she started me with something called bridges. Last month, she suggested I make bridges more challenging by putting my feet on pillows. I didn't like that idea, so I wandered into Dick's Sporting Goods at the end of June and spent $32 on something called balance pods. The bridges did become more difficult. At this point, two weeks later, I have worked my way up to about a 10 minute exercise program in the morning and a 5 minute exercise program in the evening. Here is my current program:
Morning:
1 set of six bridge 1 and six bridge 2 using balance pods
2 chair stands (literally, you sit down slowly and stand up slowly)
2 goal posts (you stand with hands in the position of a goal post and raise and lower your hands twice)
I am continuing to go on the exercise bike three times per week as well. My long term goal is 3 times on the exercise bike each week plus 3 times of Pilates three times per week, only I cannot manage 30 minutes of the exercises she is now giving me so they are split up over the week.

I met with her on Wednesday and told her my waist seems to have shrunk about 2". I did not mention it at the time because it seemed too good to be true, but my appetite seems to have diminished and it is reflected in the weight on the scale. I am doing nothing to affect appetite. For a bit of time around Fourth of July, I thought I'd focus on whether I was hungry, but that went by the wayside as I learned to do bridges with the balance pods.

Over the past couple of days, I have been on the Internet trying to see if there was any indication of other people finding their appetite reduced if they did Pilates. Nothing. Could anything else have contributed to this sudden change in appetite? The only possible other change is I decided to "let go" of my eating so I could do Pilates. Maybe the end of "last supper eating" (eating in anticipation of dieting) alone could explain the lessening of my appetite. I don't know. I do know that my muscles in my core are "wakening up" as my trainer says. I feel stretching (which is good) and am going slowly because I have also felt some pain. I have to be patient with this.

My appetite did not change with doing bridges, which I've been dong since I started going to personal training in mid-May. The dramatic change in appetite started with using balance pods. I knew something was up when I returned from the Fourth of July celebrations at a lower weight. Usually, I gain a few pounds. It's taken me some time to realize that the exercise is having a direct impact on my digestive tract and maybe that's why I'm not so hungry.

My goal all along has been to understand why I have such a big appetite, and I've had all sorts of theories. Maybe the problem is nothing more than a weak core which can be strengthened with Pilates.

1:30 PM: I just got home from Costco, having purchased two boxes of Haagen Dazs bars. Something is really up because I don't have room for a Haagen Dazs bar. Maybe I should have a physical to make sure I didn't get cancer or something else that could explain the sudden lack of appetite.

Thursday, August 15, 2013: 220.8 Fans! I'm give a brief update.

The good news is that I am really enjoying personal training. It took a couple of months to be able to do heel taps. I'm now doing 3 per day. The personal trainer has been hinting at helping me to lose weight, and I've been ignoring her. I decided maybe I should ask her about weight loss next week.

The kids are having fun laughing at me for exercise, and I'm actually enjoying the humor in it, too. For example, I have now progressed from no weights to 1 lb. weights for something called a goal post which is to raise and lower your arms starting in the position of a goal post. How the heck did I get so out of shape? It's a matter of priorities, and I've decided now to make health a priority.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Thu Aug 15, 2013 6:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kathleen, how about an update?! It's been about 2 months, and who knows WHAT could have happened to you in the wilds of Minnesota? Very Happy
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nonoodles



Joined: 01 Apr 2012
Posts: 7

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes! I miss your journal!
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2013 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: August 20, 2013



Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Tuesday, August 20, 2013: 220.0: Start

Weight during Current Month
Day 1 – Tuesday, August 20, 2013: 220.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, August 21, 2013: 220.0
Day 3 – Thursday, August 22, 2013: 219.4
Day 4 – Friday, August 23, 2013: 219.8
Day 5 – Saturday, August 24, 2013: 218.6
Day 6 – Sunday, August 25, 2013: 219.6
Day 7 – Monday, August 26, 2013:220.0
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 27, 2013:219.0

Journal
Day 8 – Tuesday, August 27, 2013:219.0 Last Tuesday, I scheduled an hour long talk with my personal trainer to discuss weight management. As a result of that conversation, I concluded that I did best with my weight when I followed some of the Pritiken Diet approach back after my last child was born in 2001. The approach has to do with eating a lot of vegetables (although not so many as in the Cabbage Soup Diet). I eat a lot of fruit but almost no vegetables. I ordered an out of print copy of a Pritiken book off Amazon which arrived today and I set up the refrigerator with a shelf just for salads.

I discussed with my husband and got agreement to do weekly personal training on an indefinite basis. It's really pathetic how out of shape I am. For example, I am doing a strength training exercise with 1 lb. weights. The kids tease me (all in good fun), and I tell them, "You have to start somewhere."
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Strawberry Roan



Joined: 06 Jul 2010
Posts: 1145

PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2013 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good to see you back posting, Kathleen.

I am known for my huge nightly dinner salads (often all I eat) so I can certainly picture and appreciate your shelf of veggies in the refrigerator. Last night I cut up a fresh chilled nectarine into chunks and added it to my salad. It was so crisp and refreshing. I use nothing but flavored vinegars as dressing (last night was red wine garlic).

Please let us know how you are doing now and then.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am doing fairly well. I have not yet gotten a job which worries my husband because we are relying on my income to pay for college. We have to take some money out of saving to pay for college this semester. I have an interview this morning.

As for my weight loss journey, it's become a health journey. The weekly personal training has led to my actually feeling some muscle under all the flubber on my belly. After nearly four months of twice daily exercise, I am up to 30 bridges, 4 heel taps, 10 rows (using 1 lb. weights), and two other exercises of 5 times each. I exercise now about 10 minutes twice daily. I am working on being able to do something called the cat cow. I am now doing one every other day. There are muscles being awakened which have not been awake for a long time. If I overdo it, my body signals pain, so I am proceeding very slowly.

Pilates seems to me to be a possible substitute for gastric bypass, but you need to have a personal trainer who is able to help you learn to do it properly. I had real trouble because I was so weak. If I overeat now, which I still do, there is an unpleasant aftereffect.

Now for my weight as of this morning: 219.2. I haven't really lost weight, but I have lost 3 inches on my stomach. What I decided to do was just to weigh myself every Monday morning and diet down one pound per week. Once I am down a pound, I don't weigh myself until the next Monday morning.

Last week's goal was 219. This week's goal is 218. I have 1/2 cup of mueslix for breakfast with a fruit, for lunch I have a big salad, and I have a normal dinner with family. I avoid snacks.

Once I reach the goal weight, I can eat what I want while realizing I will have to "diet" longer the next week if I overeat for the remainder of the week.

My goal is to do this for 20 pounds, get below 200 pounds, and take a break in weight loss for at least 5 weeks.

Let me tell you: it is really weird to feel muscle. I am making progress, but the focus is now health and not weight.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Sep 19, 2013 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: September 18, 2013



Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 18, 2013: 218.8: Start


Journal
(Month 1) Day 2 - Thursday, September 19, 2013: As my son told me this morning as I was driving the kids to school, losing weight is 90% restricting food intake and 10% exercise. I decided to buck conventional wisdom for three reasons:
1. Trying a constant program like the No S Diet (even with S Days!) leads to a rebellion against those restrictions.
2. Trying a detox approach like my Novena Diet (9 days of 1,000 calories) leads to immediate rebellion.
3. The limited Pilates I have been doing has resulted in a noted discomfort after overeating. I think Pilates is changing the placement of my internal organs. I got one of those tape measures which you hold and the tape measure cinches so that there is uniformity in how much is measured, and my waist size has gone down about 4" in the past too months. Also, I can now feel a layer of hard muscle under all the flab. Whereas before I only felt flab, I can now feel flab and then muscle, with the difference so pronounced it is like reaching through water to feel the bottom of the lake.

My exercise routing is pathetically limited. Here it is:
Morning:
5 heel taps
15 bridge 1 (normal bridge)
15 bridge 2 (bridge with legs at a 45 degree angle from body)
6 chair stands (stand up and sit down)
10 goal posts (lift one pound weights up and down)
5 row (use a 5 pound band in the doorway)
7 shoulder retractions (stand with shoulders back and pull hands down)

Evening:
Repeat of 5 heel taps with 15 bridge 1 and 15 bridge 2

Total time exercising is no more than 20 minutes.

I have often wondered why I have such a big appetite and it may be that I am simply out of shape with the core muscles that are worked with Pilates. I want to test this theory.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy for the update. When I think of perseverance, I think of you. Smile

I do think that losing weight, for all but professional athletes, is mostly food choices. That said, I also think that exercising changes the body's shape and also the body's chemistry, eventually. When I started exercising 2 years ago, I completely seperated weight loss and activity , which I'm sure is why I'm still exercising today. I feel so much better with exericise, physically and mentally.

How are other things going? Are you working this fall?
You still have fans, you know! Laughing
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sun Sep 22, 2013 1:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: September 22, 2013

L: Listen to your body.
A: Avoid distractions while eating
T: Take hand or utensil away from food while eating and until after swallowing food in your mouth.
E: Enjoy vegetables.
R: Record what I eat.

Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 22, 2013: 219.0: Start

Journal
(Month 1) Day 1 - Wednesday, September 22, 2013: 219.0: Start I decided to just decide and live with the decision. Did I want to manage to a particular weight? No: there is an up and down quality to doing that, a need to adjust what I do from day to day. Did I want to ever engage in portion control? No: the predictability of diet backlash was too certain. I am back to the great Aristotle that virtue is a matter of habits.

What habits? Last night, I took the dog for a walk and decided on the ones listed above. The "LATER" will help me to remember them and will remind me that I don't have to eat right now; I can eat later. Dieting creates a sense of panic in me, maybe because I've been on way too many calorie restricted diets.

Am I working? No. I'm not too happy about that but everyone else in my family seems to think it's no great problem. (Actually, we paid tuition for the fall and somehow ended up with more money left over than we had expected. Tom looked at our checking balance and asked how we ended up with so much money even after tuition was paid.) Katie had an allergic reaction to one of the rooms in her school (I suspect mold), and I had to escalate it to the principal who was extremely responsive. The class is being moved on Monday so new carpet can be put in. Katie also ran out of Grandmom's Christmas money so she got a job -- not bad for a 14 year old! Tommy's Eagle Court of Honor is next Sunday, and I'm putting together the program. Tom had said he'd do it but then his work expanded. It goes on... I just don't know how you can have a family and have two parents who work full time.

I am right now reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". It's really given me so insight into my weight loss journey. The first and most important part of not worrying is to figure out if the problem is something you must live with or can address. Carnegie lost a ring finger when he was a child and jumped out of a window and the ring on his finger got caught on something. He lost his finger. There was nothing he could do about it. I have often wondered if I was in the same boat with my weight: nothing I can do about it.

If you do decide there is something you can do about a problem, then you need to figure out what to do about it and then go do it. I went through that exercise yesterday and decided what I can do is decide upon a few habits that I follow consistently. That's how I got where I am today.

The good news is this: my waist has really gone down in size. It's still huge, especially for someone who remembers that 24" waist and how she had to use a safety pin to pin belts that were way too long. I would say my 24" waist is as much in the past as was Dale Carnegie's ring finger, but I can continue Pilates and can follow habits that have the effect of reducing my food intake.

Wistful. I'm somewhat wistful this morning. I've sure wasted a lot of my life trying to lose weight, and I'm likely to encounter health problems in the future even if I start losing weight today. The past is behind me. I must look forward.

Not all is gloom by any means. I'm really happy with how my kids are doing. It's not so much that I am proud of their achievements as that I am proud that they are good kids.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 9:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are you feeling like you're not eating enough? If your meals are satisfying, why take a break from "weight loss?" You won't take a break from exercising, right?
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2013 11:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: October 5, 2013

S: Sit down to eat, if appropriate.
E: Eat without distractions if possible -- no radio, TV, computer, book, etc.
T: Take hand or utensil away from food while eating and until after swallowing food in your mouth.


Weight Summary
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, October 5, 2013: 220.2: Start


[b]Journal/b]
(Month 1) Day 1 - Saturday, October 5, 2013: I got two insights into my character in the last two weeks. The first came from my husband wanting me to write down what I spend. He wanted to use a program like Quicken where you import charges. I told him that would not work because I buy all sorts of stuff at a place like Target -- clothes, food, household supplies, Halloween costumes, etc. His point was it would be mostly accurate. My point was it would not be accurate so why do it? This conversation has been going on a few years. In fact, we got Quicken, and I downloaded it for a few months.

How does this relate to eating? Well, I have no motivation to record what I eat unless it is accurate. Do I record that there is basil in a meal?

It's ridiculous, yes, but my job as a business analyst actually trains me to think this way. I don't want to fight it.

The second insight into my character comes from personal training. The trainer felt my shoulders and was shocked by how tight they were. I told her that I have to wear a retainer/night guard at night because I grind my teeth so much.

Do I overeat because I don't feel satisfied? In response to your question, oolala53, No. I pretty much am full to stuffed all the time. I eat like an automatic eating machine when I am stressed.

Job hunting is no fun, although I do now have a job starting October 11. Tommy's Eagle Court of Honor was last Sunday, and that was stressful to set up, although I must say it was one of the best days of my life. I was proud of him not so much for what he had accomplished (an Eagle) but for the type of person he has become through Scouting (very caring; the younger boys all love him because he is an unofficial "troop guide"). Then there's Tom job which I hope does not kill him. He has four straight weeks of flying out Sunday night, working until 10 PM each night, and returning on Friday. I keep on bringing up that the last words of Tim Russert's wife were that she hoped she saw him again. Finally, finances. Two kids in college next year. That's $40,000 minimum and only that low because Anne has a $5,000/year scholarship. Two cars, one with 120,000 on it and one with 150,000 on it. A master bathroom that needs to be redone or it will cause water damage. We're rich by the way. We don't qualify for financial aid using the FASFA, even with two kids in college. The government subsidies SmartPhones for people who are on reduced cost for lunches, but we cannot afford SmartPhones and it's a stretch to afford lunch. The whole government shut down -- I'm sorry, but I think it's time for a pause in the path we are on. My Katie tells me that liberals just think it's fair that everyone have equal opportunity. In very simple terms, I told her that there is no way Dad would be working the way he is if she had the same opportunity as everyone else. He's not working for himself. He's not working for me. He's working so our kids come out of college with limited debt. She is starting to get it.

I've been reading Dale Carnegie's book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". If in fact most of my overeating is stress related, then what I can do is just cultivate three simple habits that prevent the triggering of the automatic eating machine. That's what I'm doing.

My personal trainer got promoted and relocated. She will be available during the day and one Saturday per month. She's done me a ton of good so I'm following her to her new location. I've been blessed in many ways, and I have not been enjoying my life because I've allowed worries to overshadow the good.

There is perhaps a spiritual element to this. There is a saying, "Do your best, and leave the rest to God." That's what I need to do. I've floundered around on the diet and am going to try to stay off the scale and just follow these three rules for the month. I've tried this diet before and don't remember what happened except I think I got persuaded by the scale to tweak. One month. I can handle that.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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eschano



Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Posts: 2458

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 1:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kathleen,

Sounds like you have a lot on! But also that good stuff is happening. It mad me smile (someone who doesn't even know your family) to read about Tommy and how the being part of the Scouts made him a genuine leader. How lovely is that?

I hope you find a way to calm your worries! Let it knot be food - that would just add one more thing.
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eschano - Vanilla rocks!

Started July 2012
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Oct 12, 2013 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can choose to separate your eating from stress, but you would have to believe that the negative effects of eating from stress -being too full much of the time, etc,- are worse than the difficulties you would have to go through to stop.

When would it not be appropriate to sit down to eat? I've found that even at a "cocktail" party, there is always a chair somewhere to sit down and really enjoy what I have.

I humbly suggest that you make it a rule to thoroughly enjoy every bite you eat. If you won't really thoroughly enjoy it, don't eat it.

Good luck with this month.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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~reneew



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 12:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like I could have written your last entry because it sounds like my life exactly right down to the weight. I can't stand my mouth guard. I have the 2 oldest in college already but the tough part is that they are both planning to go to med school also so we will have 4 in college at the same time. We too don't qualify for assistance but struggle financially. My hubby travels probably less than yours but people are loosing their jobs around him so it's scarey. I too usually feel full. I have thought about the fact that stress causes me to eat but also realize that I am addicted or at the very least in a strong habit of eating. Snacking and seconds/thirds in particular. Mindless eating. Rolling Eyes We both keep plugging along and we will figure this out. You're not alone.
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Eurobabe2



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 27, 2013 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy Thanksgiving, Kathleen. How are you? How is the personal training going? Smile
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Nov 28, 2013 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you, Eurobabe2.

I am home alone on Thanksgiving Day, and it is by choice. I needed the rest and only got out of bed to take out the dogs. Katie and Ellie are dogsitting, and they were not invited!

It is dark outside, and I type while listening to Khan Academy and the meaning of geometric progressions. Katie is not taking her schooling seriously.

Tommy is done. He got into a college that turned out to be a terrific fit for him. He can now coast through the rest of the year. Now I can turn my attention to Katie and Ellie.

A friend of mine from many years ago told me that kids don't need you when they are babies. They need you when they are teens. Anne is very successfully launched. She's obviously happy, she's working hard, and she's in love with a kid who seems smart, hard working and kind. Tommy still needs to figure out how to study but he can get into a school which will be thrilled with a kid whose standardized college entrance exam says he is smart. Katie just wants to have fun. She does have a job and works at it so she can splurge on herself. She's getting the idea that grades today may have something to do with how much she can splurge later, when her earnings pay not just for earrings but for food, clothing, car, and food. Ellie just wants to do the right thing. She got braces yesterday. She works hard, she has friends, she is the easiest of my kids to raise...

My job is easy. Easy. I look out on the 18th floor of the building at the traffic I am not in. My commute is 7 minutes long.

Life goes on and on. The kids get older, but I have learned the hard way I need to take time for myself as I did today giving myself a day of rest. I've been out of town three weekends in the past month, two of them with a five hour drive to Tommy's college. Last month, I read Scott Adam's new book. He's the creator of Dilbert, and oh does he have some good insights. The one that really hit home was there are three types of people and only three types of people:
1. Selfish
2. Stupid
3. Burden to society
He said that, if you aren't selfish, you are stupid and if you are stupid eventually you eventually will be a burden to society.

He said you need to prioritize physical health above all. Secondly, you need to prioritize financial health. After that is everything else.

This year, and only this year, I started to prioritize physical health by having a personal trainer. My exercise is Pilates and honestly it sometimes feels like early labor pains. I'm not exactly doing terribly difficult exercises even after six straight months. Right now, my Pilates consists of lying down, lifting up each leg to a 90 angle (bent at the knee) 10 X, and then lifting to that same position for a count of five breaths. That is 10 heel taps each side plus 1 5-breath 1-legged tabletop. Whatever those muscles are, they have been dormant a long time. Those exercises take about 10 minutes each day and then I do a few others which add up to about 10 minutes.

Weight... I've concluded that Scott Adams has another good point: worry about process (what you do each day) and not goal (end result). Just this week, I started writing down what I eat and then deciding which taste was the best. The end result is that I am becoming choosier in my eating. I sent back chili that was cold. I threw out the rest of an Asiago bagel that I thought was disgusting.

Now I am looking at what habits are best for me to develop to be healthy. I signed up for America's Test Kitchen online to learn how to cook better. I take a water bottle to work and try to finish it during the day.

John Henry Newmann's prayer -- "one step enough for me" is what I am trying to follow.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

Kathleen
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Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
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Eurobabe2



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry Christmas Kathleen! How about an update? You still have long-term friends who check up on you every now and then. Smile
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Scott Adams is not the only one saying worry about process. Reinhard has been saying it since the beginning. Consistent moderate eating and exercise will net a healthy body for most people no matter what its appearance. Of course, exceptions will occur, but it's hard to find them if we don't get the moderate baseline first.

Twenty minutes most days of exercise and being more discriminating about what you eat sound like excellent lessons learned this year. I'd say you've already made progress in prioritizing health. I don't see that as being selfish, but as prudent, just like putting an oxygen mask on first before you put one on your baby in an emergency on an airplane. And it isn't as if it takes all day to eat some moderate meals and get moderate exercise. There is plenty of time for other pursuits.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.


Last edited by oolala53 on Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

December 29,2013: This is not an update quite yet because I don't have time for it, but I do have a story as a preface. We have a family tradition that Santa comes to our house on the Feast of St. Nicholas and puts candy in our shoes. This is an important tradition in our family because my father is 100% German, and his first name is Nicholas.

When our youngest was in about 3rd grade, I ran to the store in the morning to get some candy because my husband hadn't put much candy in the shoes. I was loading candy when Ellie showed up and said, in a complaining voice, "Mom, why are you doing that? Now I can't tell what candy Santa put in my shoes and what candy you put in my shoes."

People can be blind to the obvious. I've seen it in my kids to the extent that the parental saying I've created for myself is, "Some lessons are best learned the hard way." So -- when I update this blog after the New Year (we are visiting my in laws this week) -- please realize I did hear you but just was not ready to accept the obvious. You may have helped me along in facing the obvious, but I had to be ready to recognize it.

As for my youngest, her two older siblings decided it was time she figured out the true story of Santa, so they opened presents on Christmas morning by saying things like, "Oh, I saw this at Target. I wonder if Santa shops at Target."

Some older kid told Katie (the third child) that there was no Santa, and she was heartbroken. She came to me all upset and asked. My response was, "If you are old enough to ask, you are old enough to be told the truth." She went away and came back a few minutes later to ask, "Tell me the truth... Is the Easter bunny real?"

The joys of parenting...

I digress... What I have realized is that what is important is to follow the spirit of No S. One tic tac does not make an S Day. One plate loaded with food to the point that there is a pyramid structure is not one plate. My "Santa" was thinking I could violate the spirit of moderation in No S and still lose weight. The real Santa is moderation. Aristotle was right. So was Reinhard.

Kathleen
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Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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walkerlori



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kathleen,
I walked over from my blog to wish you a Happy, Healthy No S 2014!
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"The real Santa was moderation." Brilliant. I think once you get over the hump, and there might be one, you might actually like the effect of non-pyramid sized plates.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Eurobabe2



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 05, 2014 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, what about the update? Hmmmmmmm??
Smile
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 3:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The update...

Life got away from me for a time. I had to focus on work, and when I turned my attention back to my family, my Katie had 20+ missing assignments the week before term ended. She got most of them in..

I keep going back to that John Henry Newmann poem, "Lead, Kindly Light" and in particular the phrase "one step enough for me".

As of January 3, I weighed 225. On Saturday morning, I weighed 219.8. I meet monthly with my personal trainer, and she changes my exercises, making them just a little bit harder. My husband decided to start going to her, too. She is really exceptional. This month, I added in using a pedometer. My goal last week was 5,000 steps every day. My goal this week is 6,000 steps every day.

As for weight, I'm starting with something very simple and maybe not real effective for taking weight off. I'm starting with what I have tried before but never lasted very long doing. I call it the SET Diet, and it is from a book called Seven Secrets of Slim People, which is long out of print. Here is what I am trying to nail down as habits:
S: Sit down to eat, when possible.
E: Eat after minimizing distractions.
T: Take hands or utensils off food between bites.

Now, what does this do? First, it does nothing to limit me socially. It does mean I cannot sit in front of the computer and eat or read and eat or drive and eat. It's a very gentle nudge to take time for eating.

I'm not weighing myself until the beginning of March when I'll check in again.

Aristotle once said that excellence is not an action but a habit. I am working on habits. The focus on habits, on being patient with myself in developing habits, started with personal training and now is expanding to eating habits.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

March 25, 2014: Two weeks ago today, I decided to follow my Novena Diet -- 1,000 calories per day for nine days and then a break for at least a month. That morning, I wolfed down 4 grapefruit.

And then it hit me... When had I felt this way previously? It had been way back in 2001, the year my youngest was born...

I had misremembered that I had lost weight with kids by following that Novena Diet. In actual fact, I had lost weight after the youngest by following a diet like Pritiken.

I remember only a few things in that most traumatic year of my life -- the year she was born, and she was colicky; a lot of turmoil for other reasons, surgeries for me...

One thing I have remembered about then was, in January 2002, I suddenly was famished, and I started eating... I could not understand it. I was about 150 then, not quite down to pre-pregnancy weight. By September, I crossed to above 180. Why? I did not know why.

Now I know why... That feeling in my stomach was how I felt when I was losing weight. I thought it was due to my commitment to walking, which I did a lot that year, at 5:30 in the morning, before the kids got up and Tom left for work. It wasn't. That wasn't it.

I also remember that year having oatmeal every morning. Now I've pulled out The Pritiken book and seen... the idea is to eat to satisfaction, even to satiety, but do so by having lots of high water content food... salads, fruits, vegetables, etc. Minimize intake of heavy foods like meat and dry foods like bread.

It's the oddest thing... I just got used to eating like this and didn't even realize that's why I lost so much weight in 2001. When I stopped, I realize now why... after surgery, people brought me meals. I remember looking at yet another lasagna, and I hated it but ate it. It must be that you overeat if you have too high a proportion of foods that are heavy.

So -- two weeks in, I'm fairly well adjusted back to eating lots of high water content foods. I weigh 218.8. That's the lowest I've weighed, I believe, since the beginning of the year.

Time will tell what will come of this approach, but I think I'm repeating what I stumbled into back in 2001 and didn't realize what was causing such easy weight loss. I thought it was the walking! I thought it was the emotional trauma of having a baby with colic and a husband who didn't deal well with it. It wasn't. It was what I ate.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And didn't eat.

Really glad you're not trying to go the Novena Diet route.

Happy eating!
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Eurobabe2



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PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 4:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kathleen,

So good to see you're still posting. How about an update? Smile
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2014 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's only Friday night and already a tough weekend. Tommy got home from Godzilla at 3, and I did not get back to sleep until after 4. Now Ellie is at Waterpark of America and due back anytime.

I got a referral to a doctor and had a blood test. It's amazing how healthy I am given my weight, which is still high. I decided that using a pedometer and doing strengthening exercises is enough for exercise and now I need to focus on weight.

What to do? I'm not sure. I have been observing my eating and much of it seems to be demarcation eating. I finish something, and I take a break. Not good to sit down and have a snack just to take a break...

I watched a video on The Weigh Down Diet, and the woman suggested taking a sip of water between bites. That seems like an interesting idea to me.

It's 10:45, and I just want to go to bed.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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eschano



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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 9:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kathleen,

Delighted you're healthy! That's what it's all about in the end, isn't it?

I make myself a cup of hot tea to celebrate finishing something. Mostly herbal and delicious.
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Wed May 28, 2014 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

May 27, 2014: There's a saying that I heard who-knows-when that has been floating around in my mind for the past day or so: "If you allow a camel's nose in the tent, soon you will be dining with a camel." It's a saying that more or less means moderation is not possible in some things. Camels that allowed to stick their noses in a tent move into the tent.

I watched some Weigh Down videos on weight loss and saw some testimonials on waiting for hunger and decided to try it out myself starting on Friday. It took longer than 24 hours for me to get a distinctive sensation of hunger. Then I waited again and again. I experienced hunger three times, twice on Saturday and once on Sunday. Then I decided to just eat moderately at meals. I could not. I munched.

Today, Tuesday, I tried not eating until I was hungry, but I ended up munching starting at 7.

It is easier to wait for hunger and then eat than it is to try to diet or to try to eat moderately. That was a surprise to me.

What does hunger feel like? Well, it's a very gentle physical sensation. It reminds me, actually, of when I first felt my first baby move. I was only 12 weeks pregnant. Over time, the little taps became more pronounced. That must be a sign of hunger -- it starts out mild and then becomes more pronounced over time.

There is some ridiculous bill about school lunches that has "hunger free" in it. What we need is not hunger free. What we need is "wait for hunger."

My Dad is fading, so I fly tomorrow to California to visit my Mom and him for a few days. Seeing my parents fade gives me a different perspective on life. I wasted so much time on dieting when all I needed to do was "wait for hunger".

Several years ago, I had a traumatic few months trying to follow what I called "The Hunger Satisfaction Diet". Now I know why it failed. I never actually experienced hunger. I never actually waited for distinctive hunger. Instead, I interpreted any noise made by my stomach as an indication of hunger.

Tonight, I could not get to hunger satisfaction even though I went 24 hours without eating. Why? Because I was not yet hungry. It's a very mild but very distinctive feeling. I need to wait for it.

No camel's nose in the tent for me. It's got to be a commitment to waiting . It's surprising how little I ate for those two days. I can do it. Not in the next few days when I visit my parents but when I return... I have the answer.

38 years I've spent dealing with my weight, 38 years... Now I understand. I am lucky to remember that I would get hungry before eating when I was growing up. It was normal. It was expected. Now it is portrayed as some sort of child abuse that you wouldn't feed a child the instant the child said, "I'm hungry."

I see an easy path ahead.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: June 2, 2014



June 2, 2014: 200.8

June 2, 2014: It was easy. I had pretzels and ginger ale on the plane yesterday and then did not eat again until late afternoon today when I had a sandwich. I skipped dinner because I did not want to eat but then had blackberries and yogurt. Once I started eating, however, I did not really stop -- some coffee ice cream, some leftover dinner, the rest of the blackberries, milk... We will see how this goes.

June 4, 2014: I'm still on California time so I went to bed after 11 last night and just got up at 8 AM. Given that I was working at 11, I'm not concerned about not working until after 8. It's been a bit of a roller coaster trying to figure this out. First, I realize that I don't ever get hungry. I didn't even get hungry when I was fasting 24 hours! It was taking about 30 hours for me to get hungry. I've come a long way in just being able to detect real hunger. Is real hunger a crises? No. It is very gentle, a gentle call out that it is time to eat. I made a mistake on Monday when I ate as soon as I felt hunger because then I munched the rest of the day.

Now that I know what it means to be hungry, I can go one of two ways: not eat except after feeling hunger or eat very small meals. I see advantages to both but need to choose one.

2:43 PM: I decided to attempt to eat small meals and record hunger. Hmmm... stick with meals. Sounds familiar.

10 PM: Epic fail trying that. I turn to "wait for hunger".

June 5, 2014: 222.8. It is perfectly reasonable just to have small meals and try to gauge when I am hungry. It is moderate. It does not work for me. I am now stuck with waiting for hunger and skipping meals if I do not get hungry. At least I now I understand the feeling of hunger.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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~reneew



Joined: 02 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A thought that helps me to wait for hunger is that if I don't know for sure if I'm hungry, I'm not!
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2014 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't see how you can say that something doesn't work for you after only one or two attemtps. You thought before that you were eating when you were hungry, and now you know you were wrong.

Maybe just as you now know more what hunger is like, you may also be able to learn to stop eating at the end of your small meal and just not keep going. You can't wait until you feel no desire to keep eating, though. Just like you realize you used to eat at every twinge, you can see that the desire to keep eating more or different things after your meal comes from the same place. You can ignore it.

On the other hand, if you choose to stay with waitng for hunger, don't expect to always take 24 or 30 hours to get hungry. If you consistently eat relatively lightly when you get hungry, or even when you don't, eventually, you will likely get hungry more often. This may not happen in a few days, though. It can't be judged after just a few days. It might take a few weeks.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,
It's fascinating in a way to see what happens when you don't eat. There are layers of hunger. Yesterday, I ate when I had the first phase of hunger at about 2 and then just kept eating. I think I need to consistently wait for hunger that is a distinctive feeling of emptiness just behind and below my sternum rather than stomach growls.

This next week, I'm running a two day meeting with about 20 people in attendance and 20 people on the phone. Breakfast and lunch will be served. If it wasn't for those four meals, this would be a great week to start because Tom flies out Sunday for the week, Anne is in Montana for a summer program, and Katie and Ellie will be in a camp. Only Tommy and I will be home, and he's an 18 year old boy who will be glad to be out with his friends. I think I need to just plunge in.

It was really amazing over Memorial Day weekend when we were camping. I ate very little until Sunday night and then wanted to eat with my family. It's OK, though. I can start now.

You're right that I am likely to experience hunger if I just limit the amount of food I eat, but I have an aversion to portion control. It seems like torture. I'd rather just not eat and then eat what like.

3 PM: A banana. A handful of Cheerios. A bowl of Cheerios with craisins. Tom is gone. I will buy the girls food on the way to camp. That means there is no need for me to eat anything else today. STOP.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kathleen



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: June 22, 2014

Day 1 – Sunday, June 8, 2014: 221.0
Day 2 – Monday, June 9, 2014: 221.0
Day 3 – Tuesday, June 10, 2014:
Day 4 – Wednesday, June 11, 2014:
Day 5 – Thursday, June 12, 2014:
Day 6 – Friday, June 13, 2014:
Day 7 – Saturday, June 14, 2014:
Day 8 – Sunday, June 15, 2014: 222.6
Day 9 – Monday, June 16, 2014: 224.4

Day 1 – Tuesday, June 17, 2014: 224.0
Day 2 – Wednesday, June 18, 2014: 223.4

Day 1 – Thursday, June 19, 2014: 222.0

Day 1 – Friday, June 20, 2014: 223.0

Day 1 – Sunday, June 22, 2014: 223.0
Day 2 – Monday, June 23, 2014:
Day 3 – Tuesday, June 24, 2014:
Day 4 – Wednesday, June 25, 2014:
Day 5 – Thursday, June 26, 2014:
Day 6 – Friday, June 27, 2014:
Day 7 – Saturday, June 28, 2014: 224.0
Day 8– Sunday, June 29, 2014:
Day 9 – Monday, June 30, 2014:

Journal

Day of Decision – Saturday, June 7, 2014: My weight is 222.0. I had personal training today. It's a once per month check in that has helped me immensely. I do about 15 minutes per day of strength training and have gotten up to about 8,000 steps per day for walking. We've started talking about weight management. I told Kayla about my thought that you need to wait for true hunger and how I didn't want to overeat over Memorial Day weekend so long as I waited for true hunger.

I told her I've really hesitated about this approach because it seems immoderate. I needed to wait longer than a day to get to true hunger! She agreed with me on that point and said I should look at numerous small meals throughout the day. I told her I need to try this approach first, that was skeptical about it but thought I needed to try this before being willing to try other things.

I got to evening and thought, I really do not want to be showing my kids that I am skipping meals. Here I had gone the entire day without eating -- no difficulty whatsoever -- and I had food to save face. Well, then what happened?

I felt famished. We went shopping for swimsuits for the girls because they need them for camp and I came back and ate what was in sight. OMG I thought. How do people put up with portion control?

Here I sit, on well padded buttocks, thinking it has got to be this week. I take Tom to the airport at noon tomorrow and Katie and Ellie to camp at 6. Anne is in Montana. Only Tommy will be home.

The work thing -- so what? So I look stupid in front of people I won't see again in a few months. They will judge me on my work, not on whether I eat the breakfast that is served.

It is now. Now I must act.

Day 1 – Sunday, June 8, 2014: 221.0 I want to try to capture this transitions much as possible. When I talked with my personal trainer yesterday, Kayla said it was surprising to her that it was easy for me to not eat until I was hungry rather than to eat small portions throughout the day. I agreed. It was surprising to me as well. With this approach, there is no portion control. I wait for true hunger and then eat what I want. The surprise for me was that I didn't want to eat that much after I got truly hungry!

Kayla said calories count, and I agreed. I said the really interesting question in all of this is not "Why am I fat?" because the answer to that is that I eat to much. The interesting question, instead, is "Why do I eat so much?" I believe the answer is that I never actually get hungry so I have to stuff myself in order to detect a change of state (change from current state).

I'm not nervous about leading two days of discussions with 40 people because I'm so nervous about having people notice I'm not eating. Is that ever ridiculous! They didn't fly in to look at my breakfast selection. I have a very distorted view of other people's view of my eating, and I need to assure myself that other people just do not care about my breakfast selection.

It is 5:30 AM. I have the typical start of day feeling of hunger. I am not stuffed so it is time to eat, only today I'm not eating until I can get to the feeling of hunger that I can vaguely remember experiencing as a child and did experience over Memorial Day weekend.

1:46 PM: I just ate with some feeling of hunger but not the type I really want. In perhaps 15 minutes, I ate 11/2 peanut butter sandwiches, 1 cup of milk, 1 banana, and 1 slice of cheese. Stop. I need to get the girls ready for camp so it would be good if I just stopped now.

How dumb of me to try this just before that two day meeting.If I can try for any indication of hunger before I eat, I'm making progress.

Day 2 – Monday, June 9, 2014: 221.0 We ended up yesterday running late so I got the girls McDonald's in the car as we drove to camp. I ate when I got home. It's silly that I tried to start this diet just before downtown meetings. I'll wait until Thursday.

Day 3 – Tuesday, June 10, 2014: 221.0 Now I nervous about tomorrow!

Day 8 – Sunday, June 15, 2014: 222.6 My work stuff went very well. My manager has gotten three emails from people associated with the project telling him how well I did. This week, I have to finalize the documentation, but they are all back home and I'm the sole person on the project in my building. In other words, I have no reason to eat food with people other than my family.

I should have seen it coming, and actually I did. Last week was not the week to start this diet. I have review calls tomorrow, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Today is Father's Day.. I think it might be wise for me to just eat very little today and start tomorrow with not eating until I experience hunger.

It is hard to believe but it is actually way easier to eat nothing than to eat a little. Today will be hard, but I don't want to be passing on meals when my family is all together for Father's Day.

Timing is critical with this diet. When I tried this in 2008, I started the day before my nephew's graduation from college and there was a brunch after the graduation. That kid now has a Ph.D. I had such a traumatic experience that summer of trying to eat when I experienced a hunger growl that it has taken me six years to get back to trying to eat based on hunger. Lesson learned from then is this: you need to start eating after you experience true hunger, not after you experience a hunger growl. There is a difference. The effect is that, after a hunger growl, you eat until you are stuffed. After true hunger, you eat to satisfaction. I think that the human body's need is to eat until experiencing a change in hunger. It's like the experience of a train passing by. You don't experience a change unless you are present before the train starts to pass by.

5 PM: Too strange. I just do not get why "portion control" seems to be impossible with me. Tomorrow, Tom leaves for Philadelphia for work and then returns Thursday, only to go to his Mom's house on Friday. Over the weekend, Katie and Ellie will be camping as will Tom. Pepper will be my company. This is the week for me to plunge in to eating only when truly hungry. I am never looking back.

Day 9 – Monday, June 16, 2014: 222.4 Seriously, have I not yet learned that "portion control" is an impossibility for me? All those years of controlled eating have made me react to even one day of portion control with a binge. Well, it's over. I'm in a new life starting now. Tom leaves for the airport this morning. I am realizing that I am most embarrassed to be starting this diet around him because it seems so unreasonable to wait for true hunger even if waiting takes longer than a day. I am highly unlikely to eat anything today. Does that sound appropriate? No.

Day 10 – Tuesday, June 17, 2014: 224.0 This is how I lived that summer of 2008 which was a nightmare. I tried all sorts of half measures and ended up with binge behavior.. It was horrible. I was up at 3:30 and got on my laptop because I am so keyed up about delivering on this work. The good news is my manager has gotten so much positive feedback that he asked if I wanted a six month extension to the contract which really helps because next year no child at home is a driver. Also, we really need me to be working because we have two in college.

My manager said I could work reduced hours this summer, so that starts after this week. I just need to hang on a few more days, and then I start.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I got a taste of what it was like to wait for true hunger. It was easy. It was pleasant. I could not believe how little I ate. I am set up so that, for the rest of the summer, I can have as a priority adjusting to waiting for true hunger.

Back to work...

Day 2 – Wednesday, June 18, 2014: 223.4 I think I started last night. I was out walking the dog and decided now or never. I'm in wind down mode with this project, with just a few days until my deliverable is due and a few issues outstanding. Today Ellie is having a sleepover. Her friend is not going to care about my eating habits. Tom gets home tonight and leaves to visit his mother tomorrow.

It's an adjustment period that is hard, I think. It's an adjustment: instead of starting to eat when full and eating until stuffed, I need to adjust to starting to eat when truly hungry and eating until satisfied. I have to reach back to childhood, pre age 17 when my Dad pestered me to lose weight because I was fat at 132 pounds. What I am doing is adjusting to what comes naturally. My experience over Memorial Day weekend was it was actually pleasant but I was shocked at how little I ate.

7 AM: Morning is my time to think. With summer here, I still get up at 5:30 but the kids don't roll out of bed until 8:30 or so. My personal trainer said something to me that really struck me. She compared me to a client who was successfully losing weight. That client measured out all her food and ate breakfast, a mid morning snack, lunch, a mid afternoon snack, and dinner. She wrote down everything she ate. She is a little older than I am, and she is single. I looked at my personal trainer, speechless, and said nothing. Was this the proposed path to being thin? Seriously, I'd rather be fat than obsessively measure out everything and record everything.

No S is way better than that approach, but it does not seem to work for me. I never relaxed with No S and adjusted slowly to eating smaller meals.

No S has always been a contrast to Intuitive Eating. I bought that book once again. I swear I've bought and thrown out 20 copies of the book. In there is a recommendation to eat small meals until you get to the point where you feel hunger and then you know how much to eat. That seems very reasonable. Why I cannot do that is beyond me.

Where I am headed with this approach, if successful, is to what looks like No S. It is three meals per day. I need to get over the hump of getting to hunger.

Once this deliverable is in, my manager knows I'm working as few hours as possible. He told me that his wife is the main breadwinner in the family, and she is taking a leave of absence for the summer. Their two children are 12 and 14, similar in age to my two younger who are 13 and 15. It's a matter of priorities. We are in decent shape for college tuition, and now that my manager is looking at extending me to April of next year, we should be fine with my not working full time this summer.

In the meantime, my husband is none too happy with our son. He got a job because we told him that he could not use the car if he did not have a job. He was called yesterday for training, but he is too busy until June 30th. When he gets to college with limited funds, he will not be happy that he cannot go out for pizza, but we are not bailing him out. It's a struggle enough to pay for college.

I have come up with a saying for parenting: "Some lessons are best learned the hard way." That applies to me, too. I go into this approach as an experiment. I will learn whether I succeed or fail.

7 PM: Tom texted me that he caught a flight arriving at 4:30 PM, and that ended my attempt to wait for true hunger. Then it turned out he ate at the airport! I ended up not eating dinner! He leaves tomorrow until Sunday. I scheduled a 1/2 hour PT appointment with my personal trainer. Usually, I schedule one hour per month, so this is an extra session. Why? It gives me incentive to make it until Monday at 5.

Tom is in town next week but then I leave Saturday with Ellie for an engineering program for girls. I'm working out of a hotel room -- in other words, working to pay for her camp! Katie is also in a camp that week. That week will also be a slow week for me, a week I can focus on adjusting to hunger.

The next week is home, and the following week is camping. That camping week is really relaxing.

If I am right, and the hard part is getting my body to adjust to what really is hunger, then I should be in good shape in one month. We shall see.

Day 1 – Thursday, June 19, 2014: 222.0

Day 2 – Friday, June 20, 2014: 223.0 Yesterday I was so keyed up about my weight that I was rolling around in bed and Tom asked that I go elsewhere. In the morning, I printed off a form I had developed for recording what I eat, and I decided that I could do that perfectly. It did stick in my mind the idea that having to have all the stars aligned in order to follow a diet was not a formula for success. I ended up sleeping in yesterday which is why my weight was lower yesterday than today because today I have to haul Katie to a dermatology appointment at 7:10 AM. Life is complicated. No S does simplify it, but I think what I need to do is keep in mind the simple question: Why am I eating? What No S does is force a person to ask: Why am I eating and it's not even a mealtime? I ate a peach just now because I'm not following No S. What I am doing is trying to get to hunger.

This weekend I am working to get my deliverable done. I have to end of day Monday, maybe first thing Tuesday. Tuesday noon Tommy and I are driving to his college orientation, so I'll be off work. After that until the kids go back to school in September, I can work as little as I want, maybe 10 hours per week. If there is a time for me to focus on developing healthy habits, it will be this summer.

Day 1 – Friday, June 20, 2014: 223.0

Day 2 – Saturday, June 21, 2014: I decided not to weight myself and not to use a pedometer but to focus on one thing only for the next several weeks -- eating only when truly hungry. I am cleaning up the document this weekend. It has to go in by Tuesday morning. I leave Tuesday afternoon for college orientation with Tommy. Yesterday, I talked with the recruiter and apparently a six month extension is a somewhat informal thing. I say yes, and the recruiting firm processes the request from the company. That's it. The expectation is I work as little as possible for the rest of the summer once this deliverable is in. The house needs attention in a big way. We are moving the younger two into separate rooms since their older siblings are at college.

I do really feel that this transition requires a "clear the decks" mentality. It's black or white: there is no gray area. Once I'm in the habit of waiting for true hunger, maybe I can be more flexible.

I have bought that Intuitive Eating book perhaps 20 times. If it is wrong, let me prove it wrong once for all.

7 PM: I spent the entire day inside on a wonderful clear warm summer day working, and then I went to the office to print off the document to check it and could not get into my floor probably because I'm a contractor. That was deflating! The compute is staying put. I am going to go in early on Monday but no work until then.

I can change focus now.

Day 1 – Sunday, June 22, 2014: 223.0 I am going to work today. It irritates me I cannot get into the office to print off the document, but I still want to produce the best I can. It's being printed off by someone high in the organization before she goes on vacation, so it must be done by Tuesday.

Last night, I revised my weight tracking sheet so that there was a spot for my weight and there were three columns per day: Most Enjoyable Eating Experience, Least Enjoyable Eating Experience, and Lessons Learned.

Just now, I started to have a bowl of cereal with milk, took a few bites, and wondered: "Why am I eating this?" I wasn't enjoying it. I've often thought fat people were gullible, and the book The Big Fat Surprise sure is reinforcing that view. It turns out low fat is not satisfying. Those of us who bought into that lie and tried to eat healthy ended up not satisfied and wanting more and more. I'm going to explore the idea of eating for satisfaction.

7 AM: When I take a bath, I have time to think. I should be tracking most and least satisfying eating experiences rather than most and lest enjoyable eating experiences. The difference between enjoyable and satisfying is like the difference between fun and happy.

Day 7 – Saturday, June 28, 2014: 224.0 I tried tracking most and least satisfying experiences. It did not matter. I'm back to waiting for true hunger but I think I do need time set aside for this. We were going to leave today for Ellie's camp, but it's a seven hour drive and I have too much to do. Starting tomorrow, however, I think I can focus for three straight weeks on this. I worked 34 hours last week but think I won't work more than 20 / week for the rest of the summer.

I dug myself a big hole. It's going to take time to get out of it.

Day 8– Sunday, June 29, 2014:
Day 9 – Monday, June 30, 2014:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.


Last edited by Kathleen on Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:56 am; edited 21 times in total
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clio



Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 25
Location: new york

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Kathleen, There's a great book that you should take a look at titled "How to have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans too" by Josie Spinardi. It's all about how diets and restricted eating are a prescription for weight gain and lead to "gasping for food" and "eating 'cause you ate". She advocates "hunger directed eating" but has a very understandable way of explaining it. It's more than "eat when you're hungry & stop when you're full". She has several videos on utube and you should take a look at them, I think they are very helpful.
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1451
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's really great to hear from you Kathleen!
Kathleen wrote:
The work thing -- so what? So I look stupid in front of people I won't see again in a few months.

I doubt you will look stupid to anyone. You'd be amazed by how little people will notice whether or not someone else eats breakfast.

Quote:
I need to assure myself that other people just do not care about my breakfast selection.
Spot on analysis!

Quote:
How dumb of me to try this just before that two day meeting.<snip>It's silly that I tried to start this diet just before downtown meetings. I'll wait until Thursday.<snip>Last week was not the week to start this diet. <snip>Timing is critical with this diet.

I've pulled these quotes out because I see a strong pattern here - this eating approach seems to require perfect timing / company / life circumstances. Can I gently suggest that an eating plan that requires "all the ducks in a row" even to start is not an effective choice? Our lives are full and complex, and an eating plan needs to fit in with our lives today, next week and next decade.
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eschano



Joined: 18 Jul 2012
Posts: 2458

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ironchef wrote:
I've pulled these quotes out because I see a strong pattern here - this eating approach seems to require perfect timing / company / life circumstances. Can I gently suggest that an eating plan that requires "all the ducks in a row" even to start is not an effective choice? Our lives are full and complex, and an eating plan needs to fit in with our lives today, next week and next decade.


Wise words ironchef! These are the main reasons all my pre-NoS attempts have failed. All the diets I had tried basically required me to have A LOT of time and money (like A listers). That's why I love vanilla NoS - it's a fuss-free eating plan that doesn't even register with other people.
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eschano - Vanilla rocks!

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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ironchef,

You are so right....I think but I do not know that you need an excellent start but then you are just following a habit. This week was not a good way to start. I am really under the gun to get a deliverable out this week. This weekend, literally I am home with the dog.

My personal trainer expressed outright disbelief that this would work. I need to try it.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really want you to find your solution, but if it can't work while you are under the gun, it's not likely to work long run. You can't just wait for periods of time when everyone is gone and you have no pressing responsibility. How often will that happen? Whatever you do has to fit in your life! When it's not work, it will be family, friends, social life, etc. These were the same reasons you used years ago for why you couldn't stick to three meals a day. How will you be able to wait for hunger, which will likely have you eating fewer than three times a day, if you aren't willing to just eat three meals a day?

Perhaps you're thinking a beginning period will get you over a hump. It might, but the odds are against it. This is the principle that ropes people into diets. Use our starter program to jump start your loss! How many people who do that are still eating less a year later? Not many. It's basically a lottery. Only a few win at that.

You asked how people put up with portion control. They do it by systematically over and over feeding themselves at regular intervals with, in the beginning, a generous amount of good quality food and progressively decreasing the frequency and/or amount. The exact opposite of plunging to low calorie intake. They also often have to be willing to experiment in a purposeful, but gradual, way with those decreases. Sometimes it happens automatically. They also have to come to value not being too full. And they also have to, on purpose or just serendipitously, find other satisfying things to do with their time than eat. Lastly, many of them have to come to deeply accept that if they don't change, they will live for the rest of their lives with food in control. Some even accept that they are going to be one of the masses that will fail at this. I guess some call that hitting bottom. I thought I hit bottom many times before I actually did. Once I did, I realized all the other times had just been wishful thinking. A humbling lesson.

I almost deleted all of this because you have heard it all before. Your daily thread has been viewed more times than just about anyone's on this board, certainly more than many here who have actually used the principles and succeeded. You've also had more replies than just about anyone, too. If support and advice were enough, this would all be over now and you would be sharing how you have been maintaining your loss for a few years.

I pray for you to have the experience that will shift things so that you able to implement what will work for you. I predict that it will be something someone else has already suggested. I went to OA decades ago when their recommendation was 3 moderate meals a day. I couldn't fathom it, and even thought it could be harmful. I had to gain 40 lbs. and mess up many times, finally seeing that I could not wait for something that would never get hard. I don't know why that realization came to me when it did. It was something I had heard, though not in so many words, many times before. I saw I had to last past the honeymoon. So do 95% of the people who make it at this. Ironically, when a person really gets this, it becomes easier. Not easy. Easier. I hope you will be one of them. When that happens and you finally lose your weight, the testimonial thread will not be enough. It will be Oprah time! Please make sure you use your pull to get me a ticket to be in the audience!

Have you ever thought of consulting an eating disorder therapist? I think someone like that could better help you dismantle the portion control issue. Certainly as valuable as an exercise trainer, though definitely not the same.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,
There is much wisdom born of experience in your words. I need to think about what you said and read over it again before responding. What stood out for me was "value not being too full". Dieting was not the answer for me. On a 1,000 calorie diet, I'd be counting out Tic Tacs remaining that I could eat. 998 calories, and I was good. 1,000 calories, and I would binge eat. Where was the internal sense of hunger and fullness in all of that? I still think the defining characteristic of an obese person is gullibiilty: you believe what you are told, want to do well, and follow what you are told to do. Right now, I'm reading The Big Fat Lie about how one man drove the idea that low fat is good. When did I switch from whole milk to skim milk? Sometime in my 20s. I went out and bought whole milk this past week. Even my 13 year old got a chuckle out of that: I was quick to believe what was said in that book!
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7704
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 3:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can see there's a lot of fear here. Why else keep seeing boogymen where everyone else can see there are only shadows?

BTW, I am facing that dang boogeyman in another area of my life right now, one in which you seem to have no real anxiety. It's all relative. I'm going to bow out and go take my own medicine. If I can't do it in the next three weeks (mine has a deadline), I commit to being honest and coming back to eat humble pie- at one of my three meals a day. Rolling Eyes

And I also see clearly that something with a deadline isn't quite the same as learning to be happy with less food permanently because I CAN do this temporarily, not forever. But it involves an ongoing habit that has cost me a lot in daily pleasure, and it's mostly from my projections. I"m the one who backs myself into a corner so that the remedy is painful. If I were consistent in this related habit, as I've learned to be with eating, things would be very different. Not necessarily perfect, but likely much more fun.

May we all get at least 10% relief from such dilemmas today.
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: June 28, 2014

Weight
Day 1 – Saturday, June 28, 2014: 224.0
Day 2– Sunday, June 29, 2014:
Day 3 – Monday, June 30, 2014:
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 1, 2014:
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 2, 2014:
Day 6 – Thursday, July 3, 2014:
Day 7 – Friday, July 4, 2014:
Day 8 – Saturday, July 5, 2014:
Day 9– Sunday, July 6, 2014:
Day 10 – Monday, July 7, 2014:

Journal
Day 1 – Saturday, June 28, 2014: 224.0 After a long bath, I have a motto: "Satisfaction only follows true hunger." Since I am never hungry, I never become satisfied. How do I get to hunger? I just had a bowl of Cheerios and now think I should wait and have dinner and then have breakfast tomorrow morning before a seven hour drive and then I wait. I wait for true hunger. True hunger is not a stomach growl. I experienced it over Memorial Day and was amazed how little it took to satisfy me. I liken this to hearing a train pass by. If you are near the tracks as the train is coming, you hear a distinct change in sound as it passes by. If it is already going by when you get to the tracks, you hear a change only as it leaves. I believe that, if you do not wait for true hunger, you must eat until you are stuffed before you feel any sort of satisfaction because your body is trained to sense a change. Our society has turned hunger into a great evil. There is a school nutrition bill with the words "hunger free" in it. How absurd. Our society is turning into a moral evil what is natural and good.

The scale is not going with us, so I will need to wait for my return to see how I did.

Day 2– Sunday, June 29, 2014:
Day 3 – Monday, June 30, 2014:
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 1, 2014:
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 2, 2014:
Day 6 – Thursday, July 3, 2014:
Day 7 – Friday, July 4, 2014:
Day 8 – Saturday, July 5, 2014:
Day 9– Sunday, July 6, 2014:
Day 10 – Monday, July 7, 2014:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2014 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: July 6, 2014

Weight
Day 1– Sunday, July 6, 2014: 223.0
Day 2 – Monday, July 7, 2014: 223.4
Day 3 – Tuesday, July 8, 2014: 221.8

Journal
Day 1– Sunday, July 6, 2014: 223.0 I have learned there are no half measures with this approach. What creates a sense of satisfaction in eating is change. As an analogy, you hear a change if you hear a train coming and then it starts to pass by. You also hear a change if a train is passing by and then it has passed by. With eating, you feel a change -- and reach satisfaction -- if you are hungry and eat until you are not hungry or if you are not hungry and eat until you are stuffed.

This project drags on. I worked at least 32 hours out of a hotel room last week with one of the most beautiful places in the country outside my window. Tomorrow it must be done, and I have a three hour call. I don't care. I start today with waiting for true hunger. There are no long drives in front of me, and my part of the project is done. It just has to be reviewed.

Day 3 – Tuesday, July 8, 2014: 221.8 I changed my motto from "Wait for true hunger" to "Aim for true hunger". Our society teaches a fear of hunger but it is only by getting hungry that you enjoy food and become satisfied when you eat it.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Blessings of Simplicity: July 11, 2014

Weight
Day 1– Friday, July 11, 2014: 222.0
Day 2– Saturday, July 12, 2014: 222.0

Journal
Day 1– Friday, July 11, 2014: 222.0 I should have waited until today to start. I was up until 3:20 this morning finalizing the document. There are calls this morning for review, but I'm not participating. I need to prepare for camp.

There are no half-measures with the start of this diet. I need the time I now have to have as my highest priority that I eat only when I feel true hunger. That is my goal for this next week.

Someone called me this morning who has been working on me with this project and asked if I was interested in a full-time job. I told her I already have a full-time job: Mom. From now to the end of summer, I will work as little as possible. I must, absolutely must, change my life so that health is a priority.

7 PM: I am realizing that a proxy for eating when hungry is to take hands off food while chewing and swallowing. It's hard to describe, but I do better with measurable objectives. Using a pedometer is working well for me. Having something ambiguous like "exercise more" does not work for me.

Day 2– Saturday, July 12, 2014: 222.0 I was in the van today with Katie and Ellie and told them I had already switched from Intuitive Eating. Ellie slapped her hand to her face. Then I told them that what I was doing was eating whatever I wanted, only I had to have hands and utensils off my food while I eat and swallow. Ellie said something quite true: "Mom, that's basically intuitive eating." I told her -- but there's a rule to follow -- and she said but you still get to eat whatever you want.

True. You do. Things went well today. I do think I ate less because I had to slow down. I'm really an automatic eating machine and it would help if I just slowed down.

My goal of 10,000 steps per day for walking is turning out to be manageable. I started on June 24. Every day I record the steps walked and subtract 10,000 steps. As of right now, I only have to walk 1,313 steps to get to the goal of 10,000 steps per day since June 24. The exactness of the number appeals to me: this is something I can do, rain or shine, lots of work or no work. I can build it into my life as a habit.

I want to do the same thing with slowing down eating by placing utensils down after each bite. This idea came from a book called The 7 Secrets of Slim People by Vikki Hansen.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53,

I heard you: "You can't just wait for periods of time when everyone is gone and you have no pressing responsibility. How often will that happen? Whatever you do has to fit in your life!"

That is true. I was under the gun at work and ended up working until 3 AM the last day. We then had one day to pack. On the way to camp, we stopped at two Walmarts. I got through it.

Then last week I had time to think.

Whatever I do has to fit in my life. It also has to fit my personality. I'm a business analyst and one thing a business analyst needs to do is set out unambiguous requirements. Last week, I thought about what does work for me.

For one thing, personal training works. I go once per month. My personal trainer once told me I am the only person whom she sees once per month who actually does the exercises. She said she is impatient -- not with me but with my body. After over a year of personal training, I am up to 5 heel taps. I started not being able to do a bridge.

Last month, I added walking 10,000 steps per day. In the spring, when I wore a pedometer, I was walking about 3,000 steps. It's summer, of course, which makes things easier, but I decided just to do it. It's specific; it's measurable; I can manage. Because some days I may not be able to walk 10,000 steps, I decided to track a rolling number. For example, on my first three days (June 24 - 26), I walked 7,646 steps, 12,504 steps, and 10,818 steps. I added the steps together and subtracted 10,000 steps per day to get a positive number of 468 steps. Yesterday was day 30, and my tracking number is at 9,924. Like my 15 minutes per day of strengthening exercises, this goal of 10,000 steps per day is manageable but just requires some conscious effort.

What can I do to lose weight that can fit into my day? I had to think about that. What stands out is from an out of print book called "The 7 Secrets of Slim People". Secret 2 is "Eat With Awareness and Without Judgment". There are five specific recommendations for "whenever you eat anything", and they are:
1. Sit down.
2. Eat consciously and without distractions.
3. Hands off the food or utensils between bites.
4. Eat in front of whomever is around.
5. Observe and record your experiment daily in the body awareness log -- check off what you did each time.

What fit in my life and what I am willing to do are to follow the first three suggestions. I've actually tried this before for brief periods of time and have called it The SET Diet:
S: Sit down when eating, if possible.
E: Eat without distractions, if possible.
T: Take hands or utensils off food while chewing and swallowing.

I am confident I would lose weight following this, but I never thought I would lose much weight. I've also had to give up the idea of perfection. After all, I don't do all my personal training exercises every day. For example, I am not taking weights with me when I fly to visit my parents next month. I also don't expect to walk 10,000 steps every single day. Sad to say, but I gave up the SET Diet as impractical because of business practices like having lunch in for group meetings. I wised up and added "if possible" after the first two parts of the diet.

At this point, I find myself rotating through diets I've tried previously, including this one.

My contract is being extended to mid April of next year, and then I plan to take the summer off. I think I should just follow this simple SET Diet, continue with the strengthening exercises, and continue averaging 10,000 steps per day. Next summer, I can build on the foundation I am now building.

All this effort, and what is my weight this morning? 224.0 pounds. I got the highest possible size on Amazon of a swimsuit that has a large bra cup, and I squeezed into it once at camp. I was afraid it would rip.

Nothing can ruin that camp for me, but it was sad that I did not swim except for the first day when I had the swim to qualify for swimming in the largest area. I had no problem actually swimming, and I credit that to my 10,000 steps per day.

"Inch by inch, life's a cinch." I need to console myself with the thought that I can make progress but cannot expect to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 132 or possibly even my post-pregnancy low of 152.

The Blessings of Simplicity: July 26, 2014

Weight
Day 1– Thursday, July 24, 2014: 224.0
Day 2– Friday, July 25, 2014:

Day 1– Saturday, July 26, 2014: 224.0
Day 2 – Sunday, July 27, 2014: 223.2
Day 3 – Monday, July 28, 2014:
Day 4 – Tuesday, July 29, 2014:
Day 5 – Wednesday, July 30, 2014:
Day 6 – Thursday, July 31, 2014:


Journal
Day 1– Saturday, July 26, 2014: 224.0 It is wacky, but I'm having a lot of fun distilling my steps down into one number and staying above an average of 10,000 steps per day. I thought about how to apply that same approach to weight loss and think I have something to allow a transition to eating only when truly hungry. Here it goes:
1. Three meals per day, no snacks and no sweets (wonder where I got that?)
2. Sit down when eating, if possible.
3. Eat without distraction, if possible.
4. Take hands and utensils off food while eating and swallowing, if possible.

Exceptions:
1. 10 for month of July, 9 for month of August, 8 for month of September, etc.
2. 1 additional exception for each time I reach true hunger.

The result: true hunger becomes a goal which results in relaxed rules for eating only at mealtimes.

This only works if I can identify true hunger, and I can based on my experience over Memorial Day weekend. I need to track number of available exceptions as one number, just like I am tracking number of net steps (over or below an average of 10,000/day since I started June 24).

Day 2 – Sunday, July 27, 2014: 223.2 Wacky is good. I had just enough incentive yesterday to follow my eating rules. We will see what happens with my weight. The 10,000 steps per day goal is helpful but not overwhelming. Yesterday I fell short because I was painting in the basement. Today, I can make up the steps.

Weight fluctuations are so depressing. Focusing on weight is depressing because you can think you are doing well and your weight comes up higher. With this approach, I can focus on my number of free days.

Day 1 – Monday, July 28, 2014: 224.8
Day 2 – Tuesday, July 29, 2014:
Day 3 – Wednesday, July 30, 2014:
Day 4 – Thursday, July 31, 2014:

Available Exceptions at Start of Day
Day 2 – Sunday, July 27, 2014: 10

Day 1 – Monday, July 28, 2014: 224.8 Dumb. I think I picked a bad analogy to compare managing weight to my program of 10,000 steps per day. It might be more similar to my personal training where I had to start off with very modest beginnings. I could not do a bridge. I had to start with lying on the floor and lifting one leg at a time off the floor a few inches when I had my knee bended at 90 degrees. My husband's response when I showed him that exercise was: "You have got to be kidding."

I need to start where I am, and what I see as most important is to stop binge behavior. That is what happened yesterday. Once I ate outside of mealtime, there was a free-for-all, or what my husband has called a "feeding frenzy".

I think I'm going to just follow The SET Diet until I am done with work next April. That is enough.

Day 2 – Tuesday, July 29, 2014:
Day 3 – Wednesday, July 30, 2014:
Day 4 – Thursday, July 31, 2014:
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2014 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry for my ignorance, but what is the SET diet?

I'm happy you're still posting. Perserverance is a rare trait these days. I know that weight control gets harder every year (I'm now 56) and especially with hyperthyrodism (need daily meds.)
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Correction-I have HYPOTHYROIDISM. If I had hyperthyroidism, I'd be thin (but with lots of other health problems.) Sad
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2014 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

August 15, 2014: Well, I had an interesting experience yesterday. Katie came up to me and asked me what happened to the rest of the cheesecake. I had promised her I would buy her a cheesecake, and she got a shot at two slices. I had the entire rest of the cheesecake. That's pretty bad.

I'm at the Mayo Clinic right now, killing time as I wait for two appointments, both preventive (annual mammogram and dermatology). I have not had so much time on my hands in a long time. I also read a Good Housekeeping article on personalities and the formation of habits. It actually had some good advice to avoid analysis paralysis and the desire for perfection.

Sitting here, I realize that a lot of my problem is wanting perfection and you just cannot have it with weight management. With walking, I found a great approach of a rolling 10,000 steps per day. If I walk less one day, I can must make it up the next day.

With weight management, it's really had to get the exact calorie count or follow any sort of a system. No S actually is brilliant in its simplicity of counting plates, but even that is a problem for me.

I've been fiddling for months with a way to track my eating habits and have it down to one page per week. Before yesterday, I was still struggling with whether or not to weigh myself on a daily basis, and yesterday after my conversation with Katie I realized that tracking is good for me because it helps to highlight self-deception. Had I been tracking my weight and my eating habits, I would have had staring back at me documentation that I ate all but two slices of a cheesecake in a matter of a few days.

Last night, before coming to Mayo, I went to the copy store and made copies of the form, and this morning I wrote out dates through 8/8 of next year. I will track what I eat and weight. I have a section for comments. Yesterday's weight was 226.2, and today's was 226.0.

At my husband's urging this year, I have tried to modernize away from a paper planner after my leather planner cover fell apart. I ended up returning to a paper planner using vinyl binders. Last night, I got on Daytimers and ordered the same burgandy leather binder that I had previously. I don't want all the hassle of using some sort of electronic system. This works for me. I didn't use to forget appointments. I even had a kid text me to remind me that she needed a ride! The seven hole punch system with FranklinPlanner and DayTimers means that three hole punched forms don't tear out of the planner. My tracking form is going in that planner as soon as I get it. In the meantime, I'll use a three hole punch sheet with reinforcements. Old school. I'm old school. Tough. We have five people on one phone plan, and it costs under $150/month. With Smart Phones, we would be paying at least $300/month. That's too much. The transmission on one car went, so it's sitting in the driveway. The mileage on the other is 170,000 miles. We need to spend money on cars and college, not phones!
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How's it going, Kathleen? Your longtime readers want to know....
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eurobabe2,

I am working from home and saw your email notification pop up on my iPad. Your message is a welcome break especially since I just sent off an email with my work from today.

Sine the beginning of August, there was been one problem after the other in our house - car dying, furnace leaking, washing machine leaking, etc. I did not need the added stress of taking two days off work and driving 1,200 miles in 3 days because my son left his retainer on his food tray and needed it replaced fast because the retainer was keeping a gap in his teeth for an implant because he was born with a missing tooth.

That said, I now am benefiting from working through the summer. Things are settled down.

I have spent the summer trying to be moderate in waiting for hunger, and it has not worked. It does not make any sense to me, but you actually eat less if you wait until you are physically hungry in order to eat.

I have tested waiting for the first indication of hunger before eating. That does not work. There has to be hunger that is undeniably physical. I have tried waiting for first physical hunger of the day and then being able to eat what I want for the rest of the day. I have tried having small meals three times per day and then looking for hunger to develop.

The good news is I am now able to identify physical hunger. The bad news is I have not committed to waiting for physical hunger. It is so difficult to switch from eating as a result of undeniable physical hunger to eating for other reasons that I have concluded I need to follow this approach with "perfect compliance".

I had coffee this morning with a friend while she had breakfast. It was not awkward. I have always thought it would be socially awkward to follow this approach, but people do not care.

So I have procrastinated. Yesterday's weight was 224.8.

How about this? Check in with me in a month. Thanks for asking how I am doing.

Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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Eurobabe2



Joined: 18 Feb 2011
Posts: 62

PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay. See you (figuratively) in a month. Smile
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2014 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I return to No S. It is painfully clear it is awkward at best to eat only when hungry. I picked up Anne for an ortho appointment, and she wanted lunch out. It was 1 pm. I was not hungry. Did I want to have her get take out and then I eat later? What sort of mother would I be? Three meals per day is more sensible than this. I still want to try to become hungry.
Kathleen
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3245
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 2:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hear ya! Intuitive eating sounds so appealing yet I can never make it work for me! NoS fits into our lifestyle while also keeping our eating moderate.

Good luck!

Linda
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Lost 45 lbs

Instagram "lpearlmom"
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Kathleen



Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 1491
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Oct 16, 2014 11:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It has been a wild ride this past week with my once again attempting to eat only when hungry. For the short periods of time I have tried to follow that approach, it actually seems to work. The problem is I end up not eating with the family. When I would switch to social eating, the eating did not stop.

The goal of intuitive eating is to eat so that you are hungry by mealtime. In fact, the authors of Intuitive Eating explicitly recommend you try honoring hunger in this way: "Eat small meals."

Now what? Well, I have a project at work which reminds me of high school math. You maximize on value subject to certain constraints. I think I need a model that considers the No S mealtimes and the Intuitive Eating hunger.

No S, I think, should be a simple tracking of 5 days on and 2 days off per week. I need an added goal, however, of reaching hunger. The one good that came of this experimentation is I actually know how to distinguish true hunger from what I experience as hunger normally.

Maybe I just need to set goals per month for experiencing hunger.

If I can experience true hunger once before the end of the month, that would be fantastic. My real problem with No S before was binge behavior: I was afraid of getting hungry between meals so my plates were loaded with food. Now I have a goal to become hungry.

This insight was due to someone on a different thread saying that people who try No S and fail are those who push the limits of eating within the boundary of platefuls. Well, why is that? For me, it came down to fear of hunger.

I stepped on the scale this morning at 226.0. New day.
_________________
Day 1 - May 21, 2017: 226.0
Day 47 - July 7, 2017: 222.0
If you are a morning person, skip breakfast. I try to eat in an 11 AM - 7 PM "eating window".
See post for June 24, 2017.
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