New Year's Resolutions

Shameless Hussey · Post by **Shameless Hussey** » Sun Jan 01, 2006 4:49 pm

My resolution: Stop being an idiot on S days!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Sun Jan 01, 2006 8:28 pm

Dear Shameless...
I know what you are saying, but I must respectfully suggest a more positive way of thinking of this..
We all make mistakes.. We all overindulge sometimes... It is human...
You need to drop the self recriminations and put downs, like calling yourself an idiot...
Instead.. Use the experience to learn.
Without judging yourself harshly... When we reject ourselves and put ourselves down for our failings, we create inner animosity and that only creates more sad and down feelings, which tend to lead towards a non ending vicious cycle of destructive feelings and behaviors..
Tell the truth...
Would you ever go to any personal trainer, or college professor, or any teacher, if they condemned you each time you messed up a bit, by saying
"You idiot!" ??? I know that I would immediately drop out and never go back to any teacher or person, who spoke to me this way..
Why should we let ourselves be bullies then??? This isn't uncommon, but it's unhelpful...

Instead of saying "Stop being an idiot", congratulate yourself for gaining new awareness of where you are now.. then use that awareness and transform yourself with loving care, and baby steps...
Just keep trying!!!! Create a proactive plan which will allow you to succeed!!!

And, back to NoS, S days are an integral and essential part of the NoS plan... Just scrutinize your N days, and be *moderate* on S days...
I have resolved that Richard and I will allow ourselves ONE S per S day from now on, and pick it out carefully and really enjoy the heck out of it!!!
That's my plan for success!!!

You should be your own best mentor/guide/friend!!!
You can do it!
Peace and Love,

Deb

Shameless Hussey · Post by **Shameless Hussey** » Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:24 pm

O, Deb! You are the sweetest thing!

Thank you for caring, and for your thoughtful reply! There is a lot of wisdom in your words.

It is sometimes hard for me to remember that you folks don't really know me! I use the word "idiot" light-heartedly in my resolution, in much the same spirit that I find it used on the No S Diet home page (emphasis added):

What do you mean by "sometimes"?

I stuck the word 'sometimes' in the exception to remind you not to be an idiot on S-days....

...

What if I am an idiot and insist on following the letter of the law but breaking it in spirit by (say) eating a gallon of ice cream every S-day and counting my second cousin's hamster's birthday as an S-day?

Then I can't help you. You will be fat and die young.

I am way too self-indulgent on my S days, but I am thinking along your lines, and am resolving to eat my three meals a day, and ONE S on my S days.

I also should have used a

instead of an emarassed face.

And I should have made clear that I was inviting other No S folks to share their resolutions, if any!

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:27 am

Hah!
Well, as far as I'm concerned, though I love Reinhard, unashamedly!!!

,,, I sometimes disagree with a few of the things he mentions in NOS.. I know! That's blasphemy!!! LOL...
He knows how I feel...

Things like the success/failure model... and use of self demeaning language such as, said, "idiot"... LOL..
Yes it's somehow funny, but fundamentally, it's a negative motivator..
We all poke fun at ourselves, myself included.. But recently, and especially since practicing Yoga, I am striving to seek a state of non-judgement..

Yes... the

face threw me off a bit! LOL...

Boy, I have about five or six big New Years resolutions to work on, and a few of them are pretty ambitious...
Good luck on your "Non idiocy" on S days!
You will do just fine!

Peace and Love,

Deb

navin · Post by **navin** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 12:33 pm

And I should have made clear that I was inviting other No S folks to share their resolutions, if any!

I resolve to change the filter on my furnace. Hey, I want to make sure I don't go making resolutions I can't keep.

Post by **reinhard** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 8:32 pm

Wow, I'm out of all the usual resolutions. Over the last 4 years or so, I've lost all my excess weight, started exercising regularly, reduced smoking to negligable levels, eliminated binge drinking, and stopped frittering all my spare time away on the computer. Last year the best I could come up with was "learn hebrew." I can't say I've 100% accomplished this, but I've certainly learnt some, and put the structures in place to keep going. This year I'm going to "learn math." Nice to be beyond the merely practical...

If I didn't use hard words like "idiot" with myself, their sense would slowly but surely creep into whatever euphemisms I used instead, except they wouldn't sound as good. Plus I'd be decieving myself, which isn't exactly smart. But I'm prepared to believe that not everyone's mind works this way, so please euphemize away if you really think it helps.

Reinhard

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Mon Jan 02, 2006 11:49 pm

Beloved and fantastic founder!!!
Some more on this idea and then I'll leave this thread alone...LOL..

I am *certainly not* saying to use a euphemism in place of the much discussed "idiot" choice! Because they aren't too great either...

All I'm saying, is that we all make mistakes... We are all human...
We are all trying the best we can right here, and right now...
Sometimes our best isn't very good, but, how is criticizing ourselves when we screw up on S days helpful? There is a super fine line between acknowledging that there is a problem and taking action to correct it, and beating ourselves up for our faults.... Yes, certainly, take responsibility, and *don't* fool yourself, but do it with love and care, not with self hate...
Really, sometimes I feel like an idiot, and sometimes I feel like a loser...
But those thoughts are self inflicted "abuse"...

I am sure that your successes, Reinhard, come from your feelings of satisfaction when you know you are doing your best... You see the results of your efforts and you are *obviously* not an idiot and probably never were in your whole life! You wouldn't be able to come up with such a great plan as NoS if you were, and probably wouldn't have gone to school where you did, and have gone into the field that you are in...
So, probably when you say this to yourself, you know you are full of it! LOL... So it's probably not so damaging...

If what got you through these three or four years of self help was, infact, the use of regularly chastising yourself, then, I feel truly sorry about that!

Somehow, I believe that it was your superior intelligence and spiritual nature, and resourcefulness, plus a supportive family, and *seeing the results* your exercise and diet gave you, which have probably carried you through your tough times...

All I'm really saying, in my rambling style and roundabout way, heh heh, is that I feel it's in our best interest to be kind to ourselves and accept ourselves 100%, including the days we screw up, without having to resort to berating ourselves and name calling.... Negative self talk is something that, in my sincere and humble opinion, is a horrible habit, but we are all so used to it that it's unconscious...

Only in recent years and much soul searching, and especially, through conscious meditation and Yoga have I been able to realize how much negativity I carry around personally...
Some of these messages aren't really even "my messages"... Many are "broken records" I have from previous relationships, now over, and parental chiding, etc... They don't serve me anymore in my evolution towards total health and happiness...
They are bad habits...

I'm not saying to sugar coat the facts when there is a problem.. Simply saying that I feel there is always a positive way of looking at a situation and it's best to be our own cheering section... Even when we want to change some problem..When a toddler has a problem learning to walk, should a parent say "You idiot?"

Acceptance of the way things are now, is the key to transforming ourselves into a better person... I know.. It's a somewhat confusing concept... "If I accept myself now then why am I trying to change myself too?" was the idea that popped into my head when I first started practicing Yoga... "Doesn't acceptance imply *non change*?"...
It doesn't... It simply means to accept yourself without criticism and judgement...
That is really the essential first step...Finding personal contentment and then transformation into the kind of person we want to be!

The process of losing and keeping off weight is a life long battle...
We need to keep our energy positive and upbeat...
Surely this is the most effective way of sticking with anything...

Much respect and love,
Your humble NoS disciple and friend,

Deb

PS... Shalom! LOL...

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 4:21 pm

Now that we're on the topic of S days, I am wondering how much is too much? If we extremely overindulge every weekend, doesn't it make sense that we will put back on any weight we may have lost throughout the week? That may work for maintaining, but not losing weight, correct?

Jammin' Jan · Post by **Jammin' Jan** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 5:09 pm

Overindulging on S-Days doesn't work for maintaining either. I am very very careful about what I eat on weekends and holidays. I enjoy my treats, but keep them small.

The nice thing about all this is, because I restrict the "how much" and "when", I really do enjoy the treats more, I never feel deprived, and they don't do any damage. Hooray for No-S!

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:08 pm

I find that restricting my S days is counter-productive. If I try to be too careful and 'ration' it, my inner brat will just screech and whine and I'll end up feeling cheated, then I'll go and eat a WHOLE tub of icecream, 3 waffles, 2 bars of chocolate..... you get the idea.

Actually, even when I don't restrict the S days, they're almost always less bad than my pre no-S days were anyway! For this reason alone, I'm leaving them be. If I want to eat gummibears for breakfast on Saturday morning and follow it with melted marshmallows on toast, that is what I'll eat.

I guess it's horses for courses, really.

C.

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:10 pm

Thanks for the reply Jan, and your example with personal experience. It really helps me understand better.

Sandy · Post by **Sandy** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 6:19 pm

Shameless Hussey - I agree whole heartedly. One S on S days after your three meals. I go overboard and end up not enjoying the taste or how I feel. I also talked myself into quite a few S days over the holidays. I didn't gain or lose a pound the entire month of December - I'm happy with that but January will be better.

gratefuldeb67 · Post by **gratefuldeb67** » Tue Jan 03, 2006 9:23 pm

I have never gained any weight on any S days which was worth mentioning..
I have had some bad N weeks though and those are when I really notice that I go up occasionally...
For the whole Holiday period of December, my weight has gone up and down the same two measley pounds...
But my trend has been constantly downward! So, I repeat......

I have been able to lose and maintain my loss over a 18 months and S days have never thwarted my long term success...

I'm not for over stuffing or pigging out on S days, but when you mess with them or try to over control them, it takes all the fun out of it...

That's not worth it to me...
In the end, the overindulgent ones balance out with the light weight ones...

Enjoy your freedom!!!!
NoS is really a tool to help us learn to moderate our own choices..
But S days are the reward...
Just enjoy them....

Let your body dictate when it is content...
You can't lose then

Peace and Love,

Deb

carolejo · Post by **carolejo** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:57 am

Yeah, I agree with Deb here. I don't stuff myself on S days usually... but if I did, I wouldn't worry about it as long as it wasn't every single one! I don't control my S days though, cos for me that's the fastest way to ensure that I WOULD stuff myself. I understand that for more sane people with a better grip on their own subconcious, this might seem deeply irrational, however if I feel deprived in some way, the net result is that I sabotage my own efforts by completely going over the top to 'compensate'.

I weighed myself this morning and can report that I'm the same weight as I was on 12th December. That's despite nearly 2 weeks of consistently overeating, and 2 weeks of eating a ton of SUGARY GAK. Yes, I've probably lost and regained a couple of pounds in that time, but fundamentally, I'm not doing so bad. It's just like weightloss was 'suspended' for December!

Post by **reinhard** » Wed Jan 04, 2006 9:34 pm

I think the biggest danger for most people of overdoing it on S days is psychological: not the raw calories, but that you'll feel so disgusted with yourself that you just flop out and let it all go to pot, even during the week.

That being said, psychology is real, and merely recognizing this fact isn't enough. I and many others here don't have a problem eating completely rule free on weekends. But others do. What's a good, sufficiently rewarding rule, if you need one? Here's one idea (kinder and more specific than merely calling yourself an "idiot," whatever your take on that

): give yourself one, limited, well-planned S treat each S day. Something fantastic that you've been drooling over all week. And don't skimp on the amount -- just make it finite, decide what it is up front and then no more.

As I mentioned, I don't do this as a hard rule, but I do think carefully about what my s treats are going to be, and I find that proactive reward usually takes enough edge off my appetite to keep most weekends from becoming total disasters.

Reinhard