Feeling down
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Feeling down
How do you all cope with the good old bugbear of losing weight - depression - low self esteem. I know this isn't a counselling session but I don't feel that what I experience is bad enough for that. But it doesn't take much to send me to the pits and that's when I look for props - eg food, alcohol. I'm still a noS fan and I won't go back to the old crash diet routine - no-S works better than anything I've tried. But I (we)?? still need help to get through the bad times. Perhaps I need to post more often and spend more time on the good old internet. this forum is a great confidence booster but I can't always get to use it. Sorry I'm babbling but even this is making me feel better!!!!!
NikC
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carolejo
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.Hi Nic.
It can be tough. I don't think there are any magic answers. Sometimes there's not even a noticeable trigger. Some days you just feel blue, for no real reason in particular!
Know this though. You're working to change your stars. You're doing what you can in a small and sustainable way to change your eating habits, your weight and therefore your life. Every day you make a choice to do the best you can, everyday you make a small promise to yourself and keep it is a small step to feeling better. Please try to learn to love yourself as you are though - it's the best first step of all to feeling better. Plus, it makes it so much easier to help yourself too - If you love and respect yourself, you're more likely to try and help yourself! Afterall, you're less inclined to bother helping someone you don't even like. Maybe when you've lost all the weight you want to lose, you'll feel happier all the time... but most likely not! It just doesn't work that way for most people 
Instead they find something else to worry about. It seems to be the standard human condition.
Last time I got into a major funk about stuff and started heading for the bottom of a large icecream tub, I removed myself from the poor choice of 'solution' for an hour or so by going for a nice long walk all on my own. I started out all wrapped up in my own misery, but gradually the regular motion walking around and the fresh air (it wasn't particularly warm out!) calmed me a little and I began to take more of an interest in my surroundings. By the end I was feeling much more balanced and able to count my blessings and feel glad to be here.
I hope you find your own best way of coping. These are the times when our habits are really put to the test.
All the best,
C.
It can be tough. I don't think there are any magic answers. Sometimes there's not even a noticeable trigger. Some days you just feel blue, for no real reason in particular!
Know this though. You're working to change your stars. You're doing what you can in a small and sustainable way to change your eating habits, your weight and therefore your life. Every day you make a choice to do the best you can, everyday you make a small promise to yourself and keep it is a small step to feeling better. Please try to learn to love yourself as you are though - it's the best first step of all to feeling better. Plus, it makes it so much easier to help yourself too - If you love and respect yourself, you're more likely to try and help yourself! Afterall, you're less inclined to bother helping someone you don't even like.
Maybe when you've lost all the weight you want to lose, you'll feel happier all the time... but most likely not! It just doesn't work that way for most people Instead they find something else to worry about. It seems to be the standard human condition.Last time I got into a major funk about stuff and started heading for the bottom of a large icecream tub, I removed myself from the poor choice of 'solution' for an hour or so by going for a nice long walk all on my own. I started out all wrapped up in my own misery, but gradually the regular motion walking around and the fresh air (it wasn't particularly warm out!) calmed me a little and I began to take more of an interest in my surroundings. By the end I was feeling much more balanced and able to count my blessings and feel glad to be here.
I hope you find your own best way of coping. These are the times when our habits are really put to the test.
All the best,
C.
CaroleJo
I think, in time, the actual habit of maintaining No S will increase your self esteem and self confidence. Even if you don't follow it 100%, every day that you work on eating 3 or 4 meals a day and staying away from crash diets, is an improvement. I think, maybe, because we are taking the control back in our lives.
From my late teens until I was 29, 30, I was very destructive because, honestly, I never knew how to cope with my problems. I abused anything that could be abused for 12 years. I was on a complete downward spiral. Then, I realized I could not live like this any longer. It was not easy and I went through a period of feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I had wasted 12 years of my life. One day, by the grace of God, I realized, OK, I still don't know how to cope but I will never learn if I keep turning to other things to numb pain, sorrow, happiness, or whatever I didn't know how to deal with. I know this is going to sound crazy because I started working on giving all of these things up before No S. Even though I gave up other bad habits I still had struggled with my food issues. No S has helped me gain control of my bad eating habits. And, that makes me feel better about myself even when I am only good on No S 75% of the time. When you start working on habits (even something as simple as your eating habits), I think it affects your conscious and you realize that you are strong and have some control, you can change other things in your life and I think it spills over in and increases your confidence level. I don't think anything I said made too much sense (I have a tendency to babble) but I don't want you to give this lifestyle up.
One bad habit replaced by healthy habits equals more good habits equals pride in onself and therefore increases self esteem and confidence and helps you cope with depression better. Also, having practically given up alcohol (I really got out of the habit), I drank some wine last Monday with friends which at first made me feel great and funny but then I crashed, felt like poop and spent a couple of days trying to get back on track. My point is, what you think helps you cope, in reality after you get rid of it, it really doesn't.
I am in no way against alcohol in moderation (especally red wine) as an enhancement to your health and pleasurable moments with friends or family. But, I feel if it is being used as a coping mechanism, then focus on other healthy habits instead. It will get easier in time. And you will be more and more proud of yourself.
Oh, and I back up what Carolejo said in her post.
For me, fresh air = peace.
Just wanted to add, since I am human, I still have my ups and downs and get mad at myself and dissappointed in myself, BUT, the self loathing is no longer there. If I start to get depressed over my weight or messing up on my diet, I write about it, try to get over it (still working on coping issues) and give thanks that I am alive and am in the position that I can change my bad habits to better habits.
Oh, I hope this made sense!
From my late teens until I was 29, 30, I was very destructive because, honestly, I never knew how to cope with my problems. I abused anything that could be abused for 12 years. I was on a complete downward spiral. Then, I realized I could not live like this any longer. It was not easy and I went through a period of feeling sorry for myself because I felt like I had wasted 12 years of my life. One day, by the grace of God, I realized, OK, I still don't know how to cope but I will never learn if I keep turning to other things to numb pain, sorrow, happiness, or whatever I didn't know how to deal with. I know this is going to sound crazy because I started working on giving all of these things up before No S. Even though I gave up other bad habits I still had struggled with my food issues. No S has helped me gain control of my bad eating habits. And, that makes me feel better about myself even when I am only good on No S 75% of the time. When you start working on habits (even something as simple as your eating habits), I think it affects your conscious and you realize that you are strong and have some control, you can change other things in your life and I think it spills over in and increases your confidence level. I don't think anything I said made too much sense (I have a tendency to babble) but I don't want you to give this lifestyle up.
One bad habit replaced by healthy habits equals more good habits equals pride in onself and therefore increases self esteem and confidence and helps you cope with depression better. Also, having practically given up alcohol (I really got out of the habit), I drank some wine last Monday with friends which at first made me feel great and funny but then I crashed, felt like poop and spent a couple of days trying to get back on track. My point is, what you think helps you cope, in reality after you get rid of it, it really doesn't.
I am in no way against alcohol in moderation (especally red wine) as an enhancement to your health and pleasurable moments with friends or family. But, I feel if it is being used as a coping mechanism, then focus on other healthy habits instead. It will get easier in time. And you will be more and more proud of yourself.
Oh, and I back up what Carolejo said in her post.
For me, fresh air = peace.
Just wanted to add, since I am human, I still have my ups and downs and get mad at myself and dissappointed in myself, BUT, the self loathing is no longer there. If I start to get depressed over my weight or messing up on my diet, I write about it, try to get over it (still working on coping issues) and give thanks that I am alive and am in the position that I can change my bad habits to better habits.
Oh, I hope this made sense!
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
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- Location: Great Neck, NY
Deb-
kellenheller
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I often find that when I am blue or feel overwhelmed and hatin' on myself, that I've not been getting enough sleep!
I am a night owl, but have a regular 9-5 job, so I tend to short myself on sleep because it's hard to make myself go to bed. After a few days of this, I will start thinking everything's hopeless and life is miserable and pointless.
But if I hit the sack early a night or two, then things start to look brighter. I have more energy to face the inconveniences of the day, and blame myself less for problems, and work toward solutions instead.
So get a good night's sleep tonight and give yourself some extra power to fight the good fight.
I am a night owl, but have a regular 9-5 job, so I tend to short myself on sleep because it's hard to make myself go to bed. After a few days of this, I will start thinking everything's hopeless and life is miserable and pointless.
But if I hit the sack early a night or two, then things start to look brighter. I have more energy to face the inconveniences of the day, and blame myself less for problems, and work toward solutions instead.
So get a good night's sleep tonight and give yourself some extra power to fight the good fight.
ping
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gratefuldeb67
- Posts: 6256
- Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:26 pm
- Location: Great Neck, NY
Wow, what wonderful advice you ladies have all given! And 3aDay, you were not rambling at all. Lots of pearls of wisdom in your post.
One thing I would like to add is a line I heard Dana Reeve (Christopher's wife) once say, "If you're depressed, do something nice for somebody." I tried that, and it really DOES help. You take the focus off yourself and your own pain and cheer somebody else up, and even though you still have your same pain, there is another part of you that feels good.
And self esteem is achieved through earning it. The more good we do (and it can be very minor, like just complimenting a checker in the supermarket), the better we feel about ourselves.
One last thought on the bingeing. I find I don't go there anymore because I am so well fed. When I was starving myself on diets, the first thing to go when I got down was the diet. I couldn't maintain it during low moods because I was starving in addition to the low mood. Now that I'm not starving, a binge just doesn't appeal like it used to cause there is no true physical hunger to make it fun. And, I allow myself binge foods in moderation now, so if I can have them, it isn't such a big deal that makes them "magical". Food has actually become food, not a tranquilizer or antidepressant. It never worked in the long haul anyway, so I do not miss this crutch at all.
Peetie
One thing I would like to add is a line I heard Dana Reeve (Christopher's wife) once say, "If you're depressed, do something nice for somebody." I tried that, and it really DOES help. You take the focus off yourself and your own pain and cheer somebody else up, and even though you still have your same pain, there is another part of you that feels good.
And self esteem is achieved through earning it. The more good we do (and it can be very minor, like just complimenting a checker in the supermarket), the better we feel about ourselves.
One last thought on the bingeing. I find I don't go there anymore because I am so well fed. When I was starving myself on diets, the first thing to go when I got down was the diet. I couldn't maintain it during low moods because I was starving in addition to the low mood. Now that I'm not starving, a binge just doesn't appeal like it used to cause there is no true physical hunger to make it fun. And, I allow myself binge foods in moderation now, so if I can have them, it isn't such a big deal that makes them "magical". Food has actually become food, not a tranquilizer or antidepressant. It never worked in the long haul anyway, so I do not miss this crutch at all.
Peetie
I think the relationship between health/body weight and psychological state of being is deep, and complex.
But my guess is that most people on this forum who have lost weight are here at least in part because at some point in their lives, they have used food -- or more specifically, gluttonous overeating -- as a coping mechanism for some other depressing facet of their reality. This is certainly the case for me. Food was my coping mechanism for many years, which is why I found myself nearly 200 pounds overweight at my peak.
No-S is primarily an eating algorithm to control excessive food intake. This means that gluttonous overeating is no longer available to us. Therefore, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE FIND ANOTHER COPING MECHANISM TO REPLACE OVEREATING.
Find something that will work for you. And whenever you get the urge to dive into some comfort food, indulge yourself in the other activity. It will take a while to build this new habit, and that habit will require attention and maintenance. But it's essential that we find something else.
Take a walk. Drink some water. Knit. Play the guitar. Mess with the computer. Read. Write. Do whatever it takes.
But my guess is that most people on this forum who have lost weight are here at least in part because at some point in their lives, they have used food -- or more specifically, gluttonous overeating -- as a coping mechanism for some other depressing facet of their reality. This is certainly the case for me. Food was my coping mechanism for many years, which is why I found myself nearly 200 pounds overweight at my peak.
No-S is primarily an eating algorithm to control excessive food intake. This means that gluttonous overeating is no longer available to us. Therefore, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT WE FIND ANOTHER COPING MECHANISM TO REPLACE OVEREATING.
Find something that will work for you. And whenever you get the urge to dive into some comfort food, indulge yourself in the other activity. It will take a while to build this new habit, and that habit will require attention and maintenance. But it's essential that we find something else.
Take a walk. Drink some water. Knit. Play the guitar. Mess with the computer. Read. Write. Do whatever it takes.
JWL[.|@]Freakwitch[.]net
Nicky,
I wish there were a simple system 14 word system for dealing with human misery, but I'm afraid that's a problem that makes diet seem trivial by comparison.
I don't know if I can offer anything besides encouraging you to follow Freakwitch's advice to identify another coping mechanism. "Emotional eating" is just a terrible strategy. It not only makes you fat, but it doesn't even work as comfort (for more than a few minutes). It's at least as much about self-punishment as it is about consolation.
Not that I'm a particularly depressed person, but going out for a walk cheers me up like nothing else -- and hey, it's exercise.
I know this is much easier said than done, but you've got to start somewhere.
Reinhard
I wish there were a simple system 14 word system for dealing with human misery, but I'm afraid that's a problem that makes diet seem trivial by comparison.
I don't know if I can offer anything besides encouraging you to follow Freakwitch's advice to identify another coping mechanism. "Emotional eating" is just a terrible strategy. It not only makes you fat, but it doesn't even work as comfort (for more than a few minutes). It's at least as much about self-punishment as it is about consolation.
Not that I'm a particularly depressed person, but going out for a walk cheers me up like nothing else -- and hey, it's exercise.
I know this is much easier said than done, but you've got to start somewhere.
Reinhard