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Linda's daily check-in
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 320
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Fri Feb 24, 2017 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow oolala. I'm printing that out. Awesome motivational words.
Ipearlmom I don't think I've posted on your thread before, I know you've been doing NoS for some time now and I'm a relative newby, but your recent post resonated with me. I hope oolala's words have helped you, I have nothing useful to add other than to read and re read them until you feel better about yourself.
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
Posts: 272
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is frustrating when you feel like you're doing everything "right" but not seeing results. Even though No S is reasonable & a better way to live, it doesn't mean it's easy.

I'm right there with you on feeling good about my choices but not seeing before Christmas numbers on the scale, but it always seems like this at this time of year for me so I'm trying to be patient 😜 Plus if I'm honest I've allowed a few more S events than I probably can & still be happy with the stupid numbers on the scale 🙄

And I love what Oolala said about your daughters. I think of that a lot when I think of weight & food issues. It's really motivating to me that my kids see me enjoy food & eat in a way that is a good example to them & No S is so it!!!

Hope you find happiness with where you are. The worst thing about weight is that it seems like no matter where I am at, I can always wish I weighed just a little bit less. It's the worse thing in the world us girls use to measure happiness!!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much oolala. Your post made me tear up but I needed to hear that. No I definitely don't think my self-esteem should be dependent on how much I weigh. And wouldn't want my girls to struggle in this way. They don't. I've. never talked badly about my body or theirs in front of them. I don't talk about dieting or weight loss or good or bad foods.

Yet clearly I still have issues. I don't have the answers yet but you've given me lots to think about. Especially being realistic about what I'm willing to do long-term.

I swear the thing that's bugging me the most is these cute $100 pair of jeans that I stupidly bought 5 lbs ago. Maybe the answer is to just buy another pair in a size up but what a waste of money. Stupid thing to care about I know.

Thanks Jen for posting. It makes me feel better knowing you can relate to what I'm feeling. I agree about always wanting to weigh a little less. Crazy making.

Thanks for posting bluebell! I guess we all get discouraged time to time. I agree, oolala's words are golden. Smile
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1284

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:

I swear the thing that's bugging me the most is these cute $100 pair of jeans that I stupidly bought 5 lbs ago. Maybe the answer is to just buy another pair in a size up but what a waste of money. Stupid thing to care about I know.


A couple of years ago I was really feeling down because I had some cute things in my closet that I didn't think I'd ever fit into again (I still don't expect to, honestly, but I loved them!). I finally decided to see if my daughter wanted them--now she has those favorite two tops of mine and I enjoy seeing them on her, and meanwhile I slowly started buying things I really love at my current size. It's amazing how much wearing clothes that fit right and that we feel good in can help.

I'd encourage you to let go of the Jeans. Maybe one of your daughters could wear them (but if they're too young & would upset you by ruining them, maybe wait a bit). Or maybe you can sell them on Ebay and recoup some of the money (I have a friend who buys and sells designer things on Ebay and makes a lot of money...kind of amazing!). Anyway, if you recouped some of the money or saw them put to good use (gift to a friend could be another option), maybe you wouldn't feel the loss as much? I know I feel better when something just isn't in my closet (and I'm sure I've forgotten some former favorites.)

(((Hugs))) You've done amazing with your weight loss and I hope to catch up to you some day, LOL!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

27 lbs. down, 36 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Imogen Morley



Joined: 21 Mar 2010
Posts: 861

PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can relate to your struggles. I've always, always wanted to weigh less, even when I got under 50 kg/110 lbs and my body went totally crazy, even when I knew and saw how unhealthy that was for me. Now, after my pregnancy, I found myself with some extra pounds to lose, and under tremendous internal pressure to fit into my regular jeans three weeks after giving birth. I KNOW, rationally, that this is nonsense, but on emotional level I'm pretty much devastated. I even complained to my husband I feel "damaged".
What I'm trying to say is that at every stage of our lives we women are constantly struggling with unrealistic expectations about our bodies. It just never ends. But what you focus on, grows. I think - again, that's the rational part of me which is rarely in charge now - we'd be much better off sticking to NoS and directing our energy somewhere else, not giving food so much power over us.
May I suggest some reading? When I was much, much fatter, in my late teens, I discovered Victoria Moran's books. I love her writing - so eloquent! - and I truly believe she helped me got through a very dark spell in my life. One of her books, Fit From Within, is about body image and self-esteem. I highly recommend it.
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everyone has had such good things to say on the emotional side. On a purely practical note, when I've had some reds / a crazy long weekend, it usually takes quite a few normal green N days to see any change in the scale. Concentrate on your behaviour and the scale will catch up eventually. The scale is fine for long term tracking, but it can be a fickle beast and often doesn't give the immediate positive reinforcement I'd like it to Smile

Also I totally feel you on the jeans. After finishing my mat leave we could not afford a new work wardrobe for me - I had to wear my existing suits. Grade A head messing right there.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you for your kind words Merry! I'm thinking it'll be awhile before they fit into those jeans but there is a consignment store I could take them to. I think that'd make me feel a bit better and yeah better to let go of them.

Thank you imogen for being so candid. You're right about the always wanting to weigh less. I can remember weighing like 115 lbs (v skinny for me) and just wanting to get to 113. We rarely say okay this is good enough right? I like the idea on focusing on the rational & thank you for the book reccomendation. I will check it out.

Iron: thanks for the reminder about the practical side of it. I can remember you talking about the "scale having to catch up to our habits sometimes". That's helped me get through some frustrating times. I will keep it in the back of my mind.

I ate a lot today and to be honest was feeling slightly panicky. Today is the most I've weighed in awhile and I can't help but wonder if this is the beginning of gaining it all back.

But after reading all this supportive comments I feel ready to get back on track w my habits. I have to remind myself that I've been more than capable of sticking to NoS in the past and there's no reason I cant continue to do so.

Thanks so much for all the helpful responses!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2017 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is a website that tells you how your weight compares with others of your age and height. It allows you to see how much women in your category THINK they should weight. When you put in THAT number, the new peers then usually want to weigh less. In my category, women are not satisfied with their weight until they weigh 11 lbs. less than I do now, which would put me in the 6th %ile. This would mean I would have to sustain an average deficit of 110 calories a day for an entire year. If I want to eat more than that one day, I would have to compensate on another day.

It MIGHT happen, but it would be a side effect.

This is not to say that I think the climbing weight averages of the U S are a good thing. There are many advantages to reducing overall intake, though it doesn't have to be daily. But it shouldn't be a way to earn our own approval, just more of a rational decision. IMHO

I keep a few pairs of pants that are too small (didn't get them that way on purpose; just the way it worked out) up high in the closet. I usually give myself to the summer equinox to see if they will work out, but I make sure I have ones that fit now. Although that reminds me, I want a white pair that fits now.

I get so many of my clothes at thrift stores or clothing swaps now that I can be a little experimental without regretting money much. But they can spoil you! Then it can feel I ten bucks is too much to waste!
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1284

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:

I get so many of my clothes at thrift stores or clothing swaps now that I can be a little experimental without regretting money much. But they can spoil you! Then it can feel I ten bucks is too much to waste!


LOL, yes!
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Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

27 lbs. down, 36 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1284

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
There is a website that tells you how your weight compares with others of your age and height. It allows you to see how much women in your category THINK they should weight. When you put in THAT number, the new peers then usually want to weigh less.


Link?
_________________
Homeschool Mom and No S returnee as of Monday, November 30, 2015.

1 year and counting!

27 lbs. down, 36 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2017 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh gosh oolala I don't even want to look at that website--too depressing! I love that you shop thrift stores. I get most of my clothes through Stitch Fix these days but can occasionally do target or something.

I realized something yesterday. Habit is where it's at. I know should be obvious to someone that has been following a program for years that's based on the principles of habit but for some reason it didn't really sink in till now.

Even if the 3 meal habit doesn't get me super skinny (prob won't), it will keep my weight stable. These big fluctuations in weight happened because I have been dismissive of the importance of really sticking to the NoS principles. I was in a hurry to get these last several pounds off so I ignored the 3 meals and tried 1 or 2 meals. I got my weight down but it backfired on me. My weight jumped back up once I started eating normally again.

To top it off I haven't been really great about my boundaries. A lot of picking here and there even some sweets thrown in now and then. This made my weight go up even quicker than it would have if I'd just stuck to the dang rules.

Also, I'm rembered get what I learned in the beginning. The stricter you are with the rules, the easier following the rules will become. So I want my habit to be my anchor, to be so strong that it eventually becomes 2nd nature.

I know this has been very obvious to everyone else but I'm just one to want to get away with as much as I can so am finally figuring this out just now. 😊

Anyway today was Green!! Was a good day other than the fact that my oldest daughter is driving me mad. She's so stressed out about school. Is summer here yet??

-41.6 lbs (ugh!)

Break: oatmeal w fruit
Lunch: low fat veg quesadilla, chips w guac, fruit
Dinner: bbq portobello mushroom burger, chips, cucumber salad, fruit, wine

Exercise: 30 min walk
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
I realized something yesterday. Habit is where it's at.

I realised this last year, when I tried to tinker with S days and S events and went a bit off the rails. As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing Smile So yeah, even years in to this journey, still realising stuff as I go along!

Well done on the Green Day!!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ironchef wrote:
As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing!!


I love this so much that I'm stealing it for my sig line. Smile

I forgot how good it feels to be super strict w/ the rules. No guessing, no beating myself up and meals perfectly enjoyable and guilt-free. I suddenly dont care so much about losing more weight or at least I'm in no hurry.

Green day--yay!!

Break: oatmeal w/ fruit
Lunch: portobello mushroom burger, chips, guacamole, yogurt w fruit
Dinner: adobo chicken, rice, broccoli soup, toast , wine

Exercise: 20 mins upper body w Leslie.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Even if the 3 meal habit doesn't get me super skinny (prob won't), it will keep my weight stable. These big fluctuations in weight happened because I have been dismissive of the importance of really sticking to the NoS principles. I was in a hurry to get these last several pounds off so I ignored the 3 meals and tried 1 or 2 meals. I got my weight down but it backfired on me. My weight jumped back up once I started eating normally again.

To top it off I haven't been really great about my boundaries. A lot of picking here and there even some sweets thrown in now and then. This made my weight go up even quicker than it would have if I'd just stuck to the dang rules.

Also, I'm rembered get what I learned in the beginning. The stricter you are with the rules, the easier following the rules will become. So I want my habit to be my anchor, to be so strong that it eventually becomes 2nd nature.


Do we have permission to remind you of this when you start talking of deviating, at least for six months?

I decree that you can do your experimenting on S days but not until green feels normal again.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 3:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol yes you can oolala and you know me too well! I realize I'm a bit of a roller coaster at times but just keeping it real.

Today was good. Yesterday I went to the dentist because a tooth was bothering and the next thing I know, I'm getting a root canal. But the good news is I can drink smoothies again without writhing in pain.

My mom came today to watch the kids for us this weekend while we go to Seattle. I'm super excited to have a romantic weekend w/dh.

Break: pumpkin smoothie
Lunch: chicken, rice, chips, guacamole, yogurt, fruit
Dinner: lasagna w/ zucchini noodles, salad, bread, wine

(Looks like a lot of food but it's small portions on a small plate).

Exercise: 20 mins lower body w/ Leslie
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Last edited by lpearlmom on Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:43 am; edited 2 times in total
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 724
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
ironchef wrote:
As I said at the time - habit is a dumb beast, don't confuse the poor thing!!


I love this so much that I'm stealing it for my sig line. Smile



haha! funny, well put and sooo true!
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BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 02, 2017 5:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go Linda - you're ending the week strong!

Hope you have a lovely weekend away, how lovely to get some one on one time with your man Smile
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you iron!!

Today was a red day but for such a dumb reason! We went out to lunch for sushi and I was so careful with my virtual plating. I guesstimated how many pieces of sushi would fit on one plate and I ended up eating less than that. Well at the end of the meal the waitress brought us a small plate of dessert to share and said "I know you said you were too full for dessert but here's a lil something anyway".

Why do ppl do that? I know she was trying to be nice but it really makes you feel obligated to have some. And of course i was w my mom & dh both of whom have to watch carbs for medical reasons so I felt even more pressured to eat my share. Well I ate the cherry on top and one bite then realized how annoyed I was at the whole thing and stopped. Too late but lesson learned. Do not eat in order to please other people... Ever.

Break: oatmeal, fruit
Lunch: sushi, miso soup, 1 cherry & 1 bite of mochi
Dinner: roast beef, tomato soup, bread, salad
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 6:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, the food pushers! It's so ingrained in us to offer sweets as something nice. Did your mom and dh eat the dessert even though they are supposed to watch carbs? That's a little scary.

May I suggest: "Oh, how kind of you! We really are full. Can I have a container? Our daughters will love this."

Not saying it would be easy. But some skinny people would do it without even thinking about it.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great idea oolala! I think as long as I have a plan going into it, I'll be fine.

We got in from Seattle late last night and I didn't get to sleep till 1am so I'm exhausted. We had a great time. The hotel was amazing and Seattle is such a great city. So much going on and the food... Don't even get me started. Needless to say we ate ALot! And drank a fair amount too but was nice to spend time together sleeping in, ordering room service, enjoying our gorgeous view and exploring the city.

We even met up with some friends from when dh was in medschool. Was really nice especially since I get along with the wife so well. She's gorgeous though and was all into taking pictures together. Ugh I look terrible in them but to be fair I was pretty exhausted and my hair was ruined from the rain.

As much as I loved the city I missed my kids and it was way too cold for me so I'm happy to be home. Today was rough but I made it through. I didn't put enough on my plate at lunch and had to white knuckle it to dinner. I was still hungry after dinner to but managed to hold out. Tomorrow I'll have a good breakfast. Now I need sleep.

Break: oatmeal , fruit
Lunch: veg burger on low carb bread, parsnip chips, dip, melon slice
Dinner: Mexican shrimp salad, wine
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your weekend sounds lovely Linda!

Have a great week Smile
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks iron!

Unfortunately the last couple of days have not been. Our greyhound attacked our little dog and she ended up losing an eye. Sad

It was pretty horrific and we made the hard decision to give back our greyhound to the adoption agency. It's just not fair to our little dog plus he's also snapped at our kids a couple of times so just came down to a safety issue.

Heartbreaking all around but our sweet little Tessa is home now and recovering nicely with round the clock care from all of us.

Needless to say this week has been a mixed bag. Mon & tues & fri green; wens & Thursday red. Today was okay but way too many sweets which left me feeling blech.

Yesterday while I was dealing with the whole dog thing I got a text from dhs co-worker about wanting to have dinner with us this weekend. Instead of just saying it wasn't a good time for us, I found myself bending over backwards to try to make it work. I even ended up inviting more people which led to a mess because not every could make the same times so inevitably someone's left out. Ugh.

When I thought about why I continually get myself into these messes, I realized it's more than just being a people pleaser. It's not that I'm so much afraid of letting people down as I just generally get a rush out of making people happy. So I find my first instinct is do what I think will make other people happy but then after that initial rush I'm like oh sh*t is that even what I really want? Doesn't my happiness count to? And if I'm left resenting the situation that's not really helping anyone anyway, right?

So not sure what the answer is because I'm worried if I really only do what makes me happy (too) I'll just be a huge selfish pr*ck with zero social life. Maybe I just need to trust that little gnawing in my stomach I get before I'm about to say or do something I'll regret. That's probably a good start.
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 8:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

uff, linda, im so sorry about the dog situation... it must have been very stressful and heartbreaking... i would have made the same decision...

about social life and saying no... not sure if it helps but i have accepted that i have phases when im more social and less social... when i say more yes and when i allow myself to say no... it can be scary because in the no phases i also have a feeling that my social life might die and then i will end up all alone but that is never the case... humans are zoon politicon... if and when we need we will always find someone while good friends will understand...
and feeling lonely has nothing to do with our social life... that is a whole other problem and also very human to feel from time to time...
i work with people/children so sometimes i really need more time alone to reboot... but i dont "count" my work as my social life...
some people have constant (whether higher or lower) level of socialising... and some of us just fluctuate... i think it is important to find a way to be ok with whatever type we are...
and, as you already said, that gnawing feeling... it is good to trust it...
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Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
Posts: 272
Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry about your dog!! That sounds so hard ):

I do the same thing socialy, agreeing to things I feel I "should" do & than wishing I hadn't. Sometimes I take on too much & feel totally drained after, but others I end up having so much fun & am glad I "forced" myself to do it. It seems the difference is how busy we are. When my crew is running to activities, practices, school events, & me & my husband are busy at work that is about all I can handle. My problem is that my life is always busy so it's hard to find the perfect time to be social (:
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh Linda, I'm so sorry about your dogs, that's just heartbreaking. Hugs to you, and extra snuggles to your little Tessa. Absolutely the right call, but that doesn't make it easy.

A lot of social events I organise I regret organising at some stage in the beforehand planning, and the larger and more complex the more likely I am to regret. Just because it often doesn't seem worth it when you're doing the work: getting organised, negotiating everything, paying for stuff, getting things lined up that will suit the kids' routines and not turn them into tired, hungry bears. Usually I'm happy afterwards that I got organised and did it, but sometimes not. I'm kind of used to it, and over time I've gotten a bit better at what I commit to.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, there was a gasp here with that dog issue.

I doubt you will lose significant numbers of friends to socialize with by using a few no's. Just remember that you could have said, gee, that would be fun, but it won't work this weekend. Let's be in touch later. (IF you actually do want to get in touch later. Otherwise, you can leave it hanging. People can interpret that however. )

But I actually have lost and do lose friends, though it doesn't seem from my saying no, and it is a little frightening. Recently, two people that I thought were willing to be friends have stopped responding to texts. I've gotten hurt with them before, gotten over it, and reached out again, had a decent response, but then this. I don't have any possible replacements. I just don't meet that many people I feel that sympatico with. I wasn't that aware or concerned with it 20 years ago, and am not sure I could have done much differently. It gets tiring putting so much work into it and then having to move on, like constantly auditioning. But maybe it's a cosmic lesson in paying attention to my inner essence? I thought that's what hermits in India did, but they don't all fare so well...

I don't think we can ever be totally enthused about all what we say yes to. But it would be nice to feel more conviction and pleasure. Laughing
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks kaalii, Jen, iron & oolala!

The dog thing has been tough. Many tears by everyone over the weekend but it definitely brings us closer in these tough moments. Everyone is being so kind to each other & Tessa is being an absolute trooper. She's also enjoying all the extra pampering which she absolutely deserves of course.

I've never given up a dog before even some really difficult ones but it's amazing how much more relaxed the house feels now that he's gone. I didn't realize how much tension I'd been caring. It's bittersweet though as I miss him & feel like we let him down. Just one of those hard decisions in life.

I guess I'm not the only one who has this social dilemmas. I think I'm just surprised at how little thought my enjoyment of the situation goes into my planning of these things. Dh told me he'd rather not socialize if given the choice. He's very friendly & talkative so this surprised me. I think the difference is I get a big boost to my self esteem when I have a full social calander but he does not base his self worth on such things.

Oolala if you're interested in an instant circle of friends condider political activism. Ive met so many great ppl. It's actually a little overwhelming but wonderful at the same time.

I haven weighed myself in days and am a bit nervous to get in the scale tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting in some exercise tomorrow.

Falling asleep...
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope you had a more peaceful week this week and got some rest! Don't worry too much what the scales say.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks iron! Been a pretty good week except my reflux has been acting up so Sometimes I need to eat a cracker here or there. Despite that, my weight was down a bit but I had a doozie of a Weekend. I swear I don't know what it's going to take to have decent S days. I feel like nobody else has gone this long doing NoS without having calmer S days.

I try to put in structure and it works for a short while. The problem is in the back of my mind I know it's not really part of the official rules so I always feel justified breaking my S day rules. Do I just accept this or keep trying to calm them down?

Today I went to a leadership meeting for different activist group and I just felt very out of place. Everyone was just very intense, outspoken & had super organized groups. It made me feel just a little unsure of myself but at the same time it was good to see not all of these opportunities are going to be a good fit for me. I really need to pick those that feel right and are enjoyable. I think this will be a better fit for someone else in my group but I'll put my energies elsewhere.

Still when I came home I just wanted to eat & eat. Social anxiety is a big eating trigger for me. Not during but after a party or event I'll want to come home and eat while I think about all the things I said or did that I should have done differently. Even when everything goes great, I still can think of one or two things I should have done differently like which room I should have had us sit in (this is one that gets me a lot). Anyway I'm pretty much a neurotic mess but it's good to be aware of my triggers if nothing else.

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Break: avocado toast, coffee
Lunch: small serving pad Thai noodles, avocado toast, couple handful nuts
Snack: several small coconut thins with milk, lollipop, couple crackers
Dinner: seared tuna , broccoli, salad
Dessert: froyo, lollipop
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look out I'm about to take over your thread.

I've been to a couple of politically-oriented meetings. I don't see myself getting very involved in a group. I'm not completely at ease about this because I don't like the idea of my just sitting on the sidelines and complaining, but, aaagh, anything I say to defend not being more active just sounds so defeatist, and I don't want to hear myself saying it.

Regarding how long it's gone on not having calmer S days, how long have you had consistent N days?

If I'm honest, I actually don't think I have calm S days even now, if calm means having a set routine that leaves me not feeling any desire to eat willy nilly or not getting at least a little too full. I've come to accept it, but I've also opted to not let it go on for as long during any one day as i used to, meaning on some S days, I'll just stop eating at a certain point, often by about 3 in the afternoon. I rarely get legitimately hungry before bed. It's become common for me to skip dinner on at least one weekend day but I can because I have no one to eat dinner with. I like to think that if I had dinner plans, I could eat during the day in a way to have at least somewhat of an appetite for it. I have been able to do that, but it has meant consciously choosing not to eat during the day at times I got the inkling to. The desire isn't gone. (I'm probably going to double post this on my thread and add to it.)

The one thing I can say is that consistently not giving in to any particular trigger is probably the best way to weaken it, though it may just mostly go underground. For example, for you, if you smell even a whiff of social anxiety as the stimulus to eat, and you want to weaken the connection, absolutely don't eat in response, no matter how hard it seems at the time,or what other excuse comes in to justify it. I don't believe that even perfect N days can eliminate the desire to pair eating with the thoughts and sensations of anxiety, if that has been a habit. If we then reinforce it on S days, the connection will likely stay pretty strong. I wish I had better news. I know I'm haunted at times by reports from people that they just aren't bothered by any of this stuff anymore, but I've decided that there's an awful lot of luck involved in being able to stumble on the right strategy or just having it go away. I had a friend who was plagued by terrible anxiety about her future (she has no food issues) for a few years. She had been doing all kinds of things and was talking to a religious counselor about it, and he said something like, well, just keep doing X, and see if after such and such (she was moving to a new state), things are better. She said a few weeks later, the sense of dread just went away. She can't say it was because of anything she did, because when it finally lifted, she wasn't doing anything that different. I asked if she thought it was because she moved, and liked her new town, and she said she didn't think so. It's been more than a year and she has just the run-of-the-mill daily frustrations and annoyances. Doesn't have to expend any effort to stay on a more even keel. I called it grace and she agreed. You can't control grace. You can just be grateful for it.
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 1284

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
I swear I don't know what it's going to take to have decent S days. I feel like nobody else has gone this long doing NoS without having calmer S days.

I try to put in structure and it works for a short while. The problem is in the back of my mind I know it's not really part of the official rules so I always feel justified breaking my S day rules. Do I just accept this or keep trying to calm them down?


I'll be honest--for the most part I just don't worry about S days or try to make them anything specific. If my first day is crazy, I try to make the second less so. If the second day is crazy instead, then I just focus on being really careful on N days.

My first couple of months on No-S had super crazy S days and it bothered me a lot, but then they did relax some. But what I've noticed is that there are definitely better and worse ones, and some are still crazy, and I've just decided not to make that my focus. I think if I focus on trying to tighten them up, it will just make me want to rebel & be more crazy--and that I'll have a better chance of some of them being decent if I just focus on N days.

I do try to pay attention to how I feel on them though. Like, if I have a lot of sugar I don't feel that well afterward, or if I overstuff myself, that doesn't feel so great--so I try to avoid those experiences. I don't think I've arrived at not being an idiot though! My losses might be more if I did. But S days are what keep me going on N days, and I want to keep N days going.

lpearlmom wrote:
Today I went to a leadership meeting for different activist group and I just felt very out of place. Everyone was just very intense, outspoken & had super organized groups. It made me feel just a little unsure of myself but at the same time it was good to see not all of these opportunities are going to be a good fit for me. I really need to pick those that feel right and are enjoyable. I think this will be a better fit for someone else in my group but I'll put my energies elsewhere.

Still when I came home I just wanted to eat & eat. Social anxiety is a big eating trigger for me. Not during but after a party or event I'll want to come home and eat while I think about all the things I said or did that I should have done differently. Even when everything goes great, I still can think of one or two things I should have done differently like which room I should have had us sit in (this is one that gets me a lot). Anyway I'm pretty much a neurotic mess but it's good to be aware of my triggers if nothing else.


I actually change my meal times sometimes when I know I will have a meeting that I'll likely want to eat after (not for the same reason though). Anyway, I'll have a later breakfast and later lunch and then wait to have dinner afterward. I don't know if that would work for you or would help you stick to N day habits though.

I know how easy it is to pick at oneself though and second-guess all that you do. I'm thinking any group you are involved in is blessed to have you though, and I hope you can find things that are the right fit for you. Give yourself much grace Smile. My pastor once told me to seek excellence instead of perfection. Perfectionists are negative thinkers--something can be 95% great but they can only focus on the 5% that wasn't great. 95% is an A! Someone who focuses on excellence though can see that it was mostly great, might see some negatives and learn/grow from them but don't over-focus on that 5%. Sometimes I catch myself doing just that and make myself focus on what went well instead. Maybe try making a list of things you think went well, things you're glad for etc... to help you counter the negative thoughts.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can take over my thread anytime oolala! Thanks for the response!

Honestly most my N days are greenish and have been for a couple years now. My issue is I tend to pick a little when cooking food so not perfect but my fails tend to be minor fails. That said maybe if I cleaned that up it would carry over to my S days.

Not sure what it'll take to for my S days to get better but I think it's going to involve stricter boundaries with some white knuckling in the beginning. Or maybe like your friend it'll just get better on its own.

Also, I appreciate your honesty about your S days. It sounds like they're pretty good but not perfect. I see people on here who almost immediately get s days down and I can't help wonder what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm just prone to extremes.


As far as the political stuff goes, I think it's just a matter of finding the right fit. I really like my small group but this bigger group didn't feel comfortable for some reason. Tomorrow I'm going to a Precinct committee training and I'm hoping that's something I'll enjoy.

Oolala, please don't completely ignore that desire to do something. There's a couple of really easy ways you can help out from the comfort of your own home:

1) Daily action will send you a text with an issue and will directly connect you to your local reps: https://www.facebook.com/YourDailyAction/?ref=ts&fref=ts

2) Resistbot: you can text this number anytime with word Resist and it will fax your reps about any issue you like: https://resistbot.io

Today was good. My girls are home for Spring Break so we spent the day decluttering their rooms. Was actually pretty fun.

Had a green day but no exercise. :/

Break: smoothie
Lunch: low-carb tostada, Apple
Dinner: chickpea curry over quinoa, salad w seared tuna, wine
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
Posts: 320
Location: Hampshire UK

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Linda
I was just reading through your thread and relating to your frustrations with S days. I have only been following NoS for 5 months so I am still a relative newby but I had also reached a point of frustration with my S days a few weeks ago. I had reached a stage where I was just mindlessly stuffing my face with food for most of the day and not actually enjoying any of it apart from my meals. I will quote oolala (I hope she doesn't mind, I've already stolen her words for my signature!) because she helped me a lot. I was resisting implementing any kind of rules on S days but oolala's comment kind of stuck in my head:

"S days might be eating days for a long time. You'll either get over it with no effort or you'll get sick of it and use a mod. Still win win, IMHO"

So I realised I had in fact become sick of it and decided the way ahead for me was no snacks. At all. I have seconds and sweets if I want them, but only at mealtimes. I'm two weekends in and its really helping. I am able to feel some element of control without feeling deprived. And my sweets are much more carefully planned and enjoyed because I don't have free reign.
Anyway I'm not sure if any of that helps but wanted to share just in case, and to say that you're not alone! Incidentally after two weekends of the mod, the scales shifted and I lost two pounds, making 14 in total, which you kindly commented on in my own check in.
Good luck with it and don't lose heart, people like you who have been so successful with NoS are an inspiration to people like me!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry: so funny we must have been posting at the same time because I didn't see your comment till after I posted today. Wanted to say thank you though for the kind words and great advice.

I really like your mindset and think I really need to just let go of worrying about S days for now. I do like that you make a mental note of how things felt. Maybe my brain will start to get the message that stuffing oneself isn't as fun as it sounds. Wink We've both managed to lose weight despite our imperfect S days so we must be doing something right.

Also I love the idea of focusing on excellence rather than perfection. It feels so much more doable and yes less negative. I tend to do very well with new things in the beginning but somewhere along the way I feel rattled and my insecurities start coming out. That's when I just want to run away & hide. I think that's what's happening now with my current social/activists situation. This time I'm going to try to step back and regroup instead of running away completely.

Thanks again Merry. A lot of super helpful stuff there!
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After pretty much any social interaction, I nit pick it apart a bit (or a lot) in my head. No matter how much fun I had at the time, afterwards my brain starts in: Did I talk too much and dominate the conversation? Did I talk too little and bore people? Was she annoyed I didn't ask any follow up questions about x difficult issue? Was he annoyed I pushed for too much information about y difficult issue? Why didn't I remember to offer the fruit salad before the kids got hungry and grumpy? Was it rude to ask everyone to get their own drinks in the kitchen, is that why those guys left early?

About the only thing that helps me is knowing that I do it. So, if possible, I can step outside myself a little (go a bit meta!) and say "hey, there goes my brain again, doing it's usual post-game review. My brain sure does have plenty of critical things to say tonight." Doesn't always work, especially if I'm tired or down, but sometimes it can help me get into a better frame of mind, kind of shrug and say "ha, brains are funny" instead of taking it all to heart.

I'm so impressed with your activism and community involvement Linda, you're a real trooper!
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry & Ironchef you both made my day with what you wrote!!

Merry that perfectionism vs. excellence was so much want I needed to hear right now. I've been trying really hard & feeling like I keep coming up short, not so much with No S, but with being a good mom/wife & good at taking care of my house & doing a good job at work. That was good for my soul to read that (:

Ironchef what you wrote about what goes through your mind after socializing is so me!! Love how you look at it as your brain being silly vs. something that you actually did or didn't do (: (:

Linda I always love reading your posts!!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Bluebell for your support! I like the idea of S day mods, I just can never stick to them for some reason. I'm so happy it seems to be doing the trick for you. It makes sense but my brain is just not having any if it. I think I'm going to have to try Merry's approach of just not worrying about them for now and to focus on my N days.
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Bluebell



Joined: 29 Sep 2016
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lpearlmom wrote:
Thanks Bluebell for your support! I like the idea of S day mods, I just can never stick to them for some reason. I'm so happy it seems to be doing the trick for you. It makes sense but my brain is just not having any if it. I think I'm going to have to try Merry's approach of just not worrying about them for now and to focus on my N days.

Sounds like a plan! Good luck Smile
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kaalii



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Merry wrote:
My pastor once told me to seek excellence instead of perfection.

beautifull!!
this could be also posted in the thread with the inspiring noS quotes...

linda, i would also focus on N days...
to me, the whole wisdom of noS lies in that focus...
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all the great support!

Iron: you nailed it. That's exactly the kind of thoughts that go through my head. It's a relief really to know its not just me. And I even used your technique last night when I was at a training session. I started in with that kind of self-talk and I said oh I'm doing that thing again. It kind of dissipated pretty quickly after that.

Life is crazy sometimes. Just when I was feelings down on myself for not being leader material and feeling like the leadership group wasn't for me, I got asked to be a chair of an even bigger group which means I'll definitely need to go to the leadership meetings. I think it's good for me though. Instead of running away maybe I can conquer my discomfort instead.

Shortly after I got asked to do that, I got a phone call out of the blue asking for a phone interview for a job I applied for a long time ago. I had totally forgotten about it and I'm not even sure I want it. Still was nice to be asked and good practice for me. My life has has certainly gotten more interesting over the last few months.

Today was pretty good. I helped my oldest daughter declutter her room. It was good hanging out with her because my youngest daughter has a way of dominating my attention. The only downside was that when I picked my daughter up later from the bowling alley, she got really pissy at me for not remembering we had to go buy her graduation dress tomorrow. I kind of snapped and loss my temper with her. I haven't done that in awhile & im still feeling guilty about it although we did make up. Parenting is not for the weak of heart!

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veg sandwich, fruit, chips, guac
Dinner: sausage, white bean & escarole soup, bread, grapes

P.S. I posted a pic of my soup on fb and my friend gave me a big guilt trip for eating meat (she's vegan). I'm super annoyed!
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda, I do actually do a fair amount of political stuff online. I just meant I doubt I will meet people whom I will socialize with outside of that pursuit.

I know people through other pursuits. They are just not people who seem available for just plain socializing with, who might just come over and hang out, or who would just want to keep up with me for personal reasons (and I with them) on a frequent basis. I thought I had a couple but they've stopped responding. Believe me, I've made overtures. But I think I'm not really alone in this. I'm pretty sure it's a phenomenon in America now that a lot of social interaction outside of family life is situational. Once the situation is over, the contact is, too. And family life is fragmented as well. The cost of freedom.

ironchef, me, too. I have contentious ones, too. Yesterday a woman was sitting in her car in front of mine parked on a street when I came out to get a grocery bag from the car. She told me I had blocked her in and she couldn't get out. She had at least two feet between my car and hers and more than two feet in front of her. I've gotten INTO much tighter spaces, never mind getting out of one. I told her she had plenty of room. She insisted and I actually told her she should learn to drive! That I would guide her and wouldn't move until she tried! She said, "Oh, really," and stared me down. I got so flummoxed I forgot that I was just there to get a bag and ended up droving into the grocery parking lot, having to circle around and around to get another spot. What did she do? Jus moved her car back so there was tons of room on both sides and taking away another parking spot on the street. Now, would I have been sorry just moving my car without saying anything (I was NOT going to say I was sorry that she can't maneuver her car) and chalking her up to be a you-know-what but still stung by her accusation, or kicking myself that I got so defensive so fast, especially with someone who obviously wasn't going to see her part in the problem? Why am I so fearful of being walked all over in a situation where so little was at stake? But I feel like once something like that has happened, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't because it's going to whirl around in my head either way.

Unless I thought she was really crazy. Then I wouldn't take it seriously and would have just moved and gone back in the market without thinking about it much.

So, it would probably pay me to just assume most people are nuts and give most of them a pass.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh that's awesome that you're making phone calls and stuff. I feel the opposite though about it being situational. I'm already doing stuff outside of any activism work with some of these people and can definitely see it leading to some lifelong friendships.

That could be because in Arizona we are outnumbered and just so happy to have found each other. We're all just so tired of staying quiet at dinner parties and pretending to be something we're not that being together is a huge relief.

That lady sounds a bit crazy to me to be honest. I grew up in California and everyone knows you better be able to get in and out of tight parking spaces if you want to survive. I would have just taken my bag and gone back in the store but yeah my brain would have picked apart the situation for awhile.

Today was good. My weight is a up a couple pounds for no good reason. Normal fluctuations I'm guessing. *shrug* I took my oldest to the airport tonight so she could visit her grandma. She's getting so independent. I'm sure she'll have a blast.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veggie bagel sandwich, 4 fries, 1/4 of tuna melt
Dinner: sw chicken salad, 1/2 glass wine

Need to exercise. :/
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 24, 2017 1:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hope you don't mind my chiming in with random thoughts on this thread:)

LPearlmom, I always feel terrible when I lose my temper with my children. I have three, 2 grown, the youngest 15. But I wonder if it's not a bad thing they encounter a little rough weather. They learn to deal with adversity (as I say often to myself and my kids, "you're not made of sugar, you're not going to melt.") They also learn to stand upright rather than flop on others. So that's my theory, and I'm going with it Smile

I wonder what part of AZ you are in. I grew up in Cottonwood and moved to Scottsdale as a teen. Left to go East for college and have only been back for visits.

Oolala, I find that there are places it's way easier to find your tribe. I don't like cities, but I love the people. In Philadelphia it was so easy to find interesting, like minded people who wanted to be friends. There were more than I could fit in my friendship group. Growing up in AZ that was not so much the case, and now that I am in a small-town/suburban setting that is also not the case. I tend to be drawn to the nutty crunchy La Leche League types which is not quite my tribe but it's close. With three kids and a husband I like to hang with, and my progressive church, I get along all right, but when May Day comes around and I want to leave a basket of flowers on my friends' doorknobs, I don't have many local friends who would really get or appreciate that... though maybe I am being too harsh. Who doesn't want a basket of flowers on their doorknob?
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Larkspur. You're probably right. Plus I figure she needs to understand that there's consequences to treating people badly. At least it happens less and less often. I don't know why I let her push my buttons though.

We live in Peoria but used to live in Scottsdale. It is hard to meet people in Az. I think it's because ppl move around so much here. Too bad you don't still live here. I'm the la leche league type & would be thrilled to get a basket of flowers. Wink

Today was good. I'm thrilled to say it's the first good S day I've had in a long while. We were suppose to go for a sunset horseback ride tonight but the place lost our reservation somehow so we just went to dinner instead and rescheduled for the morning. I had a hamburger for the first time in forever and boy was it good!

Break: smoothie, fruit
Dinner: onion rings, hamburger, fries, margaritas
Dessert: strawberry shortcake

Exercise: 30 mins salsa
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A little more of a snacky day than yesterday was but still pretty good. Definitely feels good not to go bed stuffed.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veggie enchilada plate, chips, guac margarita
Snack: green smoothie
Dinner: bagel w cream cheese, chips , guacamole
Dessert: 3 shortbread cookies, milk

Exercise: 2 hr horseback riding, walking in airport
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oolala53



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PostPosted: Mon Mar 27, 2017 4:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Must have been some relaxing scenery on that horseback ride. Does it feel like you've worked your legs after a ride like that? I would imagine the abs and back get a mild workout, too, just riding the "wave."

I just looked at the map for Peoria. Do you ever go out to the Lake Pleasant Regional Park? You may have even mentioned it. What about the Agua Fria River? Does it have any trails or walkways? It must seem so delightful in the desert. But so is the beach here in San Diego, yet I don't go even once a month! Like New Yorkers who have never been to the Statue of Liberty.

I must have driven right through south Peoria on the one trip I took to Prescott using the 8 east and then going north rather than going up to the 10 east and then the smaller highways. Can't figure out now why I would have taken the route that went all the way to Phoenix. So much farther! Maybe I missed the 95. I do remember that Phoenix seemed so big after the little towns. And I was always anxious to get to Prescott after the first four hours of driving, so I probably didn't even consider stopping. That was before I knew you.
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I miss the desert this time of year. Everything's blooming. Last year I had the most awesome hike at Usery State Park near my dad's place.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi oolala, we have only been to the lake a couple of times but we've gone off-roading and atv riding in that area many times. We always take the I-17 to Prescott so not sure about those other highways. But yeah my kids have never been to the Grand Canyon so I get that analogy. And yes my legs were quite sore. I had a really fat horse and I am short so you can imagine.

Lark: yep it's so beautiful right now. I went for a bike ride today and there were wildflowers everywhere! It's always a treat to see the cactus bloom too and I saw some of that on our horseback ride.

Soooo I haven't had a green day yet this week. Nothing major, just a bit of picking here and there. I think I learned a lesson this weekend. I really pushed myself to have sane S days last weekend thinking this was the key to getting back to -50 lbs.

Well come Monday morning, my weight was still up my usual 3 lbs. I felt a bit discouraged. Also I'm usually sick of food by Monday and ready to dive back into a nice structure but not this time. As a result I ate more than normal and I wasn't motivated to stick to my 3 plates. Usually by Wednesday, I've dropped my water weight but not this time. It's still up 3 lbs. so it really doesn't seem to matter what I do on the weekends (within reason).

Back to my initial plans of not worrying about S days. My focus will stay on N days. And yes, I know I'm too focused on weight so please no lectures on that. It doesn't ruin my day I promise & im not likely to change any time soon.

Other than that, things are good. I've been super busy with meetings and activist events. It's good and good for my kids to see me as more than just a mom. My husband is being supportive and offering to drive the kids when I can't but he needs to work on his execution. Last night he forgot to pick my daughter up from soccer practice and she had to walk home with a hurt ankle in the dark. :/ Then he brought my other daughter to swim practice late twice. Oh well it'll take some time I guess. ☺️

Break: smoothie
Lunch: lentils, avocado, banana chips, yogurt, banana
Dinner: pesto chicken, roasted cauliflower, bread, wine

Exercise: rode 20 miles
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda, I am picturing the fat horse and the short legs and getting a giggle out of that.

We ended up hiring a friend to do some ballet driving for me. My DH has a visual impairment that prevents driving (come on, self driving cars!)

Sounds like some good observe-and-correct type assessment going on. I weigh most days. I do sometimes get ticked by an "unfair" reading, but it works better for me than not checking.

I do a lot of stewing in my head regarding the state of the world but it has not translated sufficiently into action, besides a few donations, letters and phone calls. I want to keep writing letters and I'm hoping to be able to accomplish more this summer.

I learned from my dad how my brother voted-- a thing I carefully avoided asking him-- and it has been almost comical, how painful and difficult that information has been for me. I really don't know what to do with it. I hope time will help me decide.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 1:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Lark, it was pretty funny. I kept thinking why didn't they give the horse to my 6 ft husband?

We have some self-driving cars in Az. I'm hoping technology hurries up and makes driving a lot safer since my girls will be driving in a couple of years. 😁

Thanks for understanding about the weighing. It's better if I weigh often too because I'm too good at denial. Not weighing was partly how I gained 50 lbs in the first place.

Oh that's hard when other family members vote differently. In a normal election I don't think it's such a big deal but it's hard for me to overlook candidate choices in this election. We have lots of people in our group struggling with this and I've had to distance myself from a couple of friends.

Keep writing those letters! I'm having a postcard brunch next week so we can participate in a massive nationwide mailing to Paul Ryan. I have lots of ideas for getting more involved if you're ever interested, just let me know!
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Jen1974



Joined: 09 Mar 2016
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Location: Colorado

PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's hilarous about your husband & driving (: It will make your whole crew appreciate you more!!

I need S days to be big enough too or weekdays definitely become more of a struggle!! I think S days are kind of the fuel for N days (:
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Apr 01, 2017 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know crazy right Jen?! Yes I think they appreciate & respect me a bit more.

You guys are so right about the S days. I forgot the importance of being able to say well you can't have it now but come Saturday you can have whatever & whenever you want something. It really makes it easier to comply. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow.

We had dinner plans tonight so I decided to skip breakfast in case I wanted an appetizer. Maybe not strictly nos but it worked out pretty well.

We went out with another couple. A woman from my group and her husband whom we'd never met before. I thought he'd be kind of boring for some reason but he was surprisingly interesting and we all had a really nice time. They're not very adventurous eaters though so we will need to work on that. Nothing annoys me more than a mediocre meal.

Break: herbal coffee
Lunch: salad w salmon
Dinner: crab cake, onion rings (App); coconut shrimp, fries, 2 cocktails

Exercise: Pilates
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well the first thing I ate today was ice cream and the last thing I ate tonight was......wait for it... Ice cream. I definitely squeezed in a lot of goodies. But we're not going to worry about S days so it is what it is. Maybe I can eat a little less tomorrow.

Today was good. My daughter had a dance performance tonight and then I went to a meeting. It feels great to have a purpose and to feel like my ideas are valued but I can see family is missing me a bit. Well mostly my younger daughter is wanting me to be around more. Im feeling a bit torn. I guess this is how working moms feel maybe.

Break: small bowl of ice cream, yogurt
Lunch: several bites of fudge, bite of cookie,
Snack: several crackers, a couple handful nuts, milk
Dinner: 2 1/2 pieces of pizza, salad, glass of wine
Dessert: large bowl of ice cream.
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 724
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds like my last Sweekend... lots of ice-cream... Very Happy
this weekend when passing next to the ice-cream in the shop i was almost sick to the stomac... i had definitely overdone it...
i hope the disgust clears up until our next trip to italy and my beloved gelatos... Very Happy
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 5:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We had ice cream too. I'm hoping there will still be some left tomorrow...
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"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks like ice cream is a popular S day treat. I guess I should explain why I had it for breakfast. It's because last night I was craving it so badly but held off by promising myself I could have it first thing in the morning. Well that's exactly what I did! ☺️
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 4:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You don't have to explain ice cream for breakfast. At least you didn't stay up until midnight to eat it, which is something I did in the first year for chocolate, and not just a couple of kisses. I'm pretty sure that is NOT canonical No S. It's probably one of those things Reinhard wouldn't think he'd need to spell out in the rules. "S day eating times start at the regular breakfast time and end about 36, maybe 40 hours later."
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Merry



Joined: 22 Sep 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2017 11:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oolala53 wrote:
You don't have to explain ice cream for breakfast. At least you didn't stay up until midnight to eat it, which is something I did in the first year for chocolate, and not just a couple of kisses. I'm pretty sure that is NOT canonical No S. It's probably one of those things Reinhard wouldn't think he'd need to spell out in the rules. "S day eating times start at the regular breakfast time and end about 36, maybe 40 hours later."


LOL, too funny! I bet people do define this differently! I decided early on that I would count a "day" as my awake time between regular nights' sleep--rather than 12:01 etc... I suppose I could still game my system if I was really desperate (like stay up all night to keep eating?!), but so far I haven't really wanted to.
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1 year and counting!

27 lbs. down, 36 to go. Slow and steady wins the race.

"Surrender to the sensible." - Yellowtulips
"Believe conquering sweets is doable." - Oolala
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 4:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's funny. Actually I remember you taking about that just after midnight eating oolala. The promise of a 12:01 treat got me through many a Friday. Of course, I was always too lazy to actually get up and eat but it was nice knowing I could.

Today was another over the top day although at least there was no ice cream for breakfast this time. I thought today was going to be relaxing but somehow I spent it cooking, cleaning & shopping.

Break: 4-5 pancakes
Snack: several bites fudge, couple handfuls nuts
Snack: large smoothie
Dinner: pork chop, broccoli, piece of toast
Dessert: large bowl of cashew cream ice cream

Soooo looking forward to some nice moderate N days.
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ice cream for breakfast sounds awesome! Especially cashew cream, yum.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was good lark!

Absolutely exhausting day. I'm starting to wish I could go back to having no life. I think maybe I've taken on too much and I'm still trying to keep up with everything I did before plus a social life and gym time too. I'm not cut out for this.

Such an emotional day too. An email from my sister... Accidentally hurting my daughters feelings... A fight with dh. Ugh, I want to sleep for 3 weeks.

My weight was up its usual 3 lbs from the weekend but it didn't bug me at all. After those S days, it's to be expected. I had a green day. Anytime I wanted more I just reminded myself I could have it Saturday.

Break: smoothie
Lunch : veg burger, fruit, almond milk yogurt
Dinner: portobello mushroom burger, sweet potato fries, hummus, wine

Exercise: 15 min walk, 30 min treadmill
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So sorry yesterday was too much Sad Looking back at my blog, I can see that my life is a cycle of Too much work! Cut back! Then-- I need to get us health insurance! (Husband is in private practice.) Then, Too much work! followed by I need to get us health insurance! An infinite loop LOL. It seems hard to strike that perfect poise where you have an orderly, enjoyable life where you feel useful but not stressed.

Those times where I don't work outside the home or work just a little, I am prone to feeling worried and aimless, and when I work a lot I'm pulling my hair out and gaining weight. We have reached a point of specialization where DH can make quite a bit more than I can per hour, but I am uneasy at the thought of being financially dependent--not coming from DH, who is a gentle huggy bear who likes looking after people, but anything can happen, and children are expensive, so I try to keep one foot in the work world. A wordy way of saying I feel your pain. It is hard to take good care of a family in this complicated world and not lose sight of yourself. I hope you can reach a steady trot.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 5:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know it's hard to find just the right balance. And of course I'm not getting paid for any of this stuff but I do enjoy it. It's just a lot. The bad thing about staying home is everyone assumes you have tons a free time. On top of the volunteer stuff I'm trying to keep up with my new social life.

I'm getting a lot of requests to go to lunch or go bike riding during the day. I don't want to reject ppl when things are so new but I'm seriously getting behind on things at home and it's stressing me out. I'm thinking of just telling everyone I'm sick next week. First world problems, I know.

I went out to lunch and shopping with a friend today. We went to lululemom's to try on some workout clothes. Ugh, they have these tiny dressing rooms with four way mirrors and the biggest size they carry is a 12. Seeing my back fat from several angles was not great for the self-esteem but I did get some cute clothes.

A little bit of a red day but not terrible.

Break: toast w avocado & tomatoes
Lunch: salad & butternut squash soup
Red: 1/2 small melon
Dinner: steak, grilled veggies, tomatoes, basil & mozzarella, wine
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a pretty modest red LOL.

It's funny, in theory I am full of sensible advice about how to tell people you don't have much free time and say Just Say No. But in practice... I am cochairing one committee at church and active on another, sing in the choir, drive daughter to ballet an hour or more each day, do all shopping and errands for the family and extended family, and work full time (granted, a very pleasant, low stress job). Am I good at saying no? How did I end up cochairing that committee? I talk a good game. But all these things matter to me. I feel like I've already cut the fat.

What's that line about fitting the big rocks first... you know, the bit with the guy with the glass jar and the big rocks and the little rocks and the sand. If you put the sand and the little rocks in first, you'll never fit the big rocks, so you have to start with those. I am hoping that when I have more time, I will be good about blocking out the things that are most in line with my values first, and then the rest.

The clothes sound fun. I miss my clothing subscription (one of those rental services.) And how nice to be getting all the social invitations, especially ones to do outdoor Arizona things like bike rides. Hope it all comes together in a way that makes sense for you.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 6:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the honest answer Larks! I decided to ground myself next week. Nothing social except maybe a yoga class or two. I'm also going to take a break from social media for a few days. I just have too much to get caught up on.

Ugh today was so emotional. I saw my therapist and had a very emotional session re: my sister. It was good though. Needed to work through some things. Then as I was getting ready for a brunch I'm hosting tomorrow, my friend mentions on Facebook she's staying home instead of going to the brunch.

I was upset because she had rsvp yes before and even said she'd bring craft stuff for the kids. You think she could at least text me and give me some kind of explanation. Well it's not a big deal except this is a pattern with her. I had stop spending time with her previously for this very reason & only recently starting interacting with her again.

Well I remember what my therapist said about being straight with ppl so I was. I told her I didn't want to go through with our plans for the following weekend because I was worried she might back out & we'd lose our deposit. Well that opened the floodgates and she started going off on me. I had to unfriend her and block her.

I felt pretty crappy about the whole thing. In hindsight maybe I shouldn't have been so honest. But as I'm getting stronger and more emotional healthy not everyone likes it. I think a lot of people are pissed I'm not letting them walk all over me and manipulate me. I notice my newer friends are not like this. Just a bunch of old baggage from my old life. Time to move on.

Oh and I haven't been great sticking to NoS but still here and fighting. Not giving up.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2017 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can get so rattled by people. Even when I do what I think I need, I can feel so shaky inside, and especially afterwards, running the whole scene. But it sounds like you had good reason to change your plans. You can't control whether she takes it well or not. She isn't even obligated to, though it would be convenient. Only you can determine what compromises feel acceptable. I think I would have felt disappointed and untrusting, too.

I"m envious of people who get along well with family, but I have to admit I don't make it particularly easy, either. Well, here we are!

Hope you can find some non-food soothers today, AND enjoy every bite you do eat.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 6:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much for your response oolala. I'm impressed you figured out what was going on from my disjointed post. I was definitely rattled by the situation & it'll probably haunt me for awhile. You're right though, her reaction isn't my responsibility. I think what's so weird though is she's usually one of those overly sweet people. Always smiling and a kind word for everyone. But wow did she drop that act quick.

I guess the only good thing about things ending ugly is that there's pretty much no chance of ever going back. I have a tendency to forget the bad times and jump back into old relationships. That almost never ends well. People rarely change in the way we want them too.

I hosted a brunch today and I'm actually pretty proud of myself. It was about 11 people total and everything went super smoothly. I didn't even go into panic mode like I usually do. I served veggie strata, yogurt parfaits with my homemade granola and bagels w cream cheese.

I ate a lot of carbs but I really didn't overdo it. Yay! My reflux has been acting up but it's finally getting a little better. I'm hoping tomorrow I can eat without pain afterwards!
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noni



Joined: 27 Feb 2009
Posts: 575

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your ex-friend sounds like a passive-aggressive controller. I'm familiar with those. It's good that you ended it. But it's a lot harder when it's family Confused
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The brunch sounds delish and like a happy social thing. I'm so sorry about the sturm and drang with your friend. It sounds like you were straight with her about what was worrying you, and she did not handle the information at all well. Friendship is a gift and there is no point in exposing yourself to mistreatment.

My local friendships have all pretty much lapsed since I went back to work full time three years ago. If fortune smiles, I hope to drop back to part time for a few years while my daughter is finishing high school, and I hope to green those up again so I have a local friend or two to have coffee with me or take Appalachian Trail walks. I do have dear friends that I see more rarely but you need both.

Hope it's a great Monday!
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2017 5:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you noni. Yeah some serious ugly behavior but you're right families are harder. At least I can just end it & be done with it.


Larkspur wrote:
Friendship is a gift and there is no point in exposing yourself to mistreatment.


I love that Larks. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong when I no longer want to be in a friendship. Why do I feel obligated to always reciprocate & to stick it out to the bitter end?

Anyway struggling a bit. Weight stuck at exactly-42.6 for over a week. Weird. Back on track tomorrow.
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last week was mostly red days and today my weight is higher than its been in awhile (-41.6 lbs). My reflux is acting up. The two might be related actually.

On top of it all, the intense amount of social interaction I've been engaging in is starting to feel overwhelming. A couple of days I put a post up on my activist fb about charter schools vs public schools and it got 3 days of intense debate. Many comments were critical of me for wanting to send my daughter to a charter school but there was some supportive comments too. It was a lot though to be the center of a debate for that long.

Then today someone told me they were running for the senator's seat who happens to live on my street and asked if I'd help her w her campaign. I said yes because my first instinct is always to help. But then tonight another women (who also lives on my street) texted me to see if I could meet for coffee and guess what? She's running against our mutual neighbor as well. Now what do I do? Who do I back?

On top of it all, I ran into my old neighbor/ex-bestie who had constant drama when we were friends. She wants to rekindle the friendship but my gut tells me, it's not a good idea. Maybe we can just be texting friends?

I really just want to go back to being a hermit. At least for a little while.

Anyway at least my life isn't boring anymore. I also think it's been good for my confidence level. Also today was a green day so that's a nice way to start off the week.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: veggie sub, baked chips
Dinner: chicken Asian salad, grapes, wine (should have passed on the wine--reflux :/)
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, Linda, you have been busy! I go for a few weeks hiatus and it seems like you've moved mountains!

Really relate to the overwhelm with some of these discussions. My husband is on FB (I'm not) and started a discussion about an issue around our election. Some of the comments were interesting and although some people disagreed with him, they were debating the topic. But many people got very personal, like they couldn't seem to separate the argument from the person, and couldn't make their case without attacking the other individual. I don't know how he took it, I'd be far too thin skinned.

Anyway, hope you have a good week, and especially hope your reflux improves!
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lpearlmom



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi iron! I know my life is kinda crazy right now. Thank you for the well wishes. Yeah fb can get pretty heated but since I'm an admin for that group, I had to stay super cool. I also just kind of walked away from it at one point and let it take a life of its own.

So I met w/ my neighbor whose running and told her about the other person that might run. She was pretty upset because if they both run, the opposition will likely win instead (in a 3 party race). So I had to tell the other person that my neighbor wants to meet w her and discuss. I hope she's not mad at me. I feel like I kind of threw her under the bus.

It was easier when I had no life. Putting yourself out there as consequences--many great but some not so great.

Another green day--woot!

Break: smoothie
Lunch: spinach salad w tofu & avocado, grapes
Dinner: big piece of tortilla casserole, chips, guacamole

Exercise: 20 min dog walk
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow, sounds like lots still going on! and what a nice and meaningful social life!

good to hear you know where to draw the line with fake-smiley people... the worst kind...
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

kaalii wrote:


good to hear you know where to draw the line with fake-smiley people... the worst kind...


Thanks kaalii--I agree!

Another green day--yay!

Break: smoothie
Lunch: Asian chicken salad w/ avocado & cashews, melon
Dinner: Asian salmon, roasted Brussels sprouts w/ coconut "bacon", rice, guac, chips (small amounts of each)

Starting to eat a little more at meals which definitely helps with staying green.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2017 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A green week, first in awhile and my weights back down to -44.2 lbs yay! Feels great to be back on track.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: soup, salad, slice of bread
Dinner: Chiptole chicken salad, 2 glasses wine
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow what a weekend! Saturday night we went out with some friends to an amazing restaurant and ate & drank A LOT! Then I came home and ate 2 pieces of pizza. Not sure what I was thinking but so be it.

Today was a little better but we did go to dinner again where I ate a fair amount. This weekend has not been good for my reflux. Looking forward to Monday and really need to avoid wine for several days. 😱

I'm having some insecurity issues. That's what I get for hanging out with women 10 years younger than me though!

For some good news, I finally got around to tackling our checkbook and we're doing great in that area. We've been using our YNAB app for almost a year now and it's really helped us not to overspend. Yay!

Break: a couple of banana pecan pancakes, piece of turkey bacon
Lunch: lollipop
Dinner: lobster & steak tepanyaki, fried rice, piece of tempura
Dessert: 2 lollipop
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 724
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh, cool with the finances... im finding out that it really helps tracking the expenses... i'm using the goodbudget.com since december/january and i can say i already feel the difference in how much more i can achieve with the same amount of money when well spending is planned and tracked... i'm not perfect yet but even like this is more than good enough...
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BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
Body Fat %: 20.7-17.6-19.7-18.7-19.7-18.7-17.6-16.6-15.5-16.6
in it for maintenance and, more importantly, sanity!!
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
Posts: 159
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Mon Apr 24, 2017 2:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gratz on the green week and the prudent use of YNAB! I was using that but I'm back down to just Mint. Finances are an area of particular wigging at the moment because it's Fafsa and profile time-- oi. Here's to a great, green week.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh happy to see others are on board with the whole budgeting thing. I sleep so much better at night knowing exactly where all my money is. I love ynab because it lets me know exactly how much money I have left for each category in real time.

Anyway today was pretty good. Dh came home early so we went to the gym & then to lunch. Really nice spending some time together.

My daughter was 1 of 10 kids out of her entire Jr high chosen to go a baseball game for generally being an awesome kid (grades & behavior). Super proud of her. Looks like a great game too!

Break: smoothie
Lunch: Mediterranean salad w chicken, soup
Dinner: veggie burger, spinach salad, yogurt w granola

Exercise: 30 mins treadmill
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Skycat



Joined: 12 Apr 2017
Posts: 157
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also know exactly how you feel with the budgeting, if I know where we are with finances it means I won't be lying awake at night thinking it over.

Sounds like you had a fantastic weekend, well done on having a great weekend and then getting straight back on track again. Very Happy
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you research which app to use or just plunge in and choose one? For budgeting, that is.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh do you remember automated? Her & I had similar money issues and then she discovered ynab. She kept raving about it so I researched it and decided to give it a try. It did not disappoint. 👍
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got it.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Made it through today but was tough. Was hungrier than normal so had lots of beverages to get me through.

Break: smoothie
Lunch:.salad, piece of toast, watermelon
Dinner: bowl of taco chili soup, watermelon

I had a meeting tonight so had an early dinner but told myself I could have some fruit when I came home. Well when I came home, I put an empty bowl on a plate and then put watermelon slices around it to make sure what I was eating would fit on one plate. Um, well dh walked in the kitchen and thought I was nuts. I guess some of this behavior could seem a little bizarre at times but it's helped me keep off 40+'lbs so I'm sticking to my flavor of crazy.
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 2:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was the bowl to represent the earlier chili?
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Exactly.

Break: smoothie
"Lunch": pretzels, nuts, chips & dip (meeting)
Dinner: veggie burger, salad, glass wine

Exercise: 25 min walk
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
Posts: 159
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I should have done that yesterday. Almost 8 hours between lunch and dinner and when I did finally eat, I got so. tired. I should have had something when I hit six hours. Enjoying the thought of your watermelon fence...
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Re:the bowl: definitely more reasonable than using a measuring cup or a scale.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 4:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

True!

Two solid weeks of green & my weight is down 2.5 lbs! Woot!

Kind of a stressed out. We've got three bdays this month, one graduation and two events I'm in charge of for my group plus our renters just gave notice. It's probably for the best because there's been a ton of tension with them. It's just going to be a pain getting the house ready and havibg to find new renters.

One of the hardest part of staying home is everyone assumes you have tons of free time. Everyone seems to want to have lunch or go do yoga. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with trying to fit in everything. I need to learn to say no. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Maybe I need a pretend job so I have an excuse.

Break: smoothie
Lunch: tuna burger, chips and guac
Dinner: 3 vegan tacos, glass of wine

Exercise: 25 min walk
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
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Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sat Apr 29, 2017 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Couldn't you use a property management service to find renters? Sure, there's a fee, but it might be worth it since you're so busy this time around. And it's tax deductible. Of course your call.

I think you may have to accept POSSIBLY hurting people's feelings a little. They're going to react how they react. Some may get very miffed and some very little. I'm sure you'll be kind in letting them know x,y, or z won't fit into your schedule.

But this is also why I wish in our culture (or any one, probably) that it was acceptable to share productive activities as well as fun ones. I would be fine with having friends I shared cleaning our houses with or doing yard work and other needed activities, the way it's perfectly acceptable to do with family members one lives with, just to have more time with them. We could then be right there with each other when done to relax, have a meal or go to the movies or whatever. I do have one friend who will at least come over to have coffee and blab while I do dishes. (I don't have a dishwasher and they can pile up.) But this is usually considered outlandish to anyone I bring it up to. Oh, well. It's hard to be a visionary. Rolling Eyes
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Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
Posts: 159
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala, my dear friend and I talk to each other with headsets on and get gardening, dishes, etc done. The time flies Smile I much prefer working and yakking to just talking (but there is always so much to be done.)

Linda, I found when I was at home I always felt more or less under the gun. In some ways working is easier because my time is more structured, and because I have to cross certain things off versus feeling like I should have time for all of it. I am going to reread "Essentialism" before the summer LOL.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 4:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oolala, we actually do have a property manager, believe it or not. The problem is the renters are our "friends" and they're completely unwilling to work with him. They won't sign a lease, refuse to pay late fees even though they're often several days late on rent and complain about ridiculous things like there's too much light coming from the gap under the front door.

We finally had a talk with them and raised the rent so of course they're moving. It's definitely for the best but I'm worried they've left the place a wreck and we'll take a big financial hit getting the place ready for the next renters.

Anyway more info than you wanted I'm sure. It'll work out.

Today was pretty good. Didn't go too crazy although I did eat a few too many chips at dinner. Only downside today was trying on clothes. We were in a dept store and I tried on my usual size in some bcbg clothes. Ugh most were too snug and looked horrible on me. Maybe because they're for younger ppl, I don't know. Sometimes I think I have body dysmorphic but where I think I look smaller than I really am. I swear in my head those dresses looked cute on me.

Break: 3 vegan pancakes, 2 veggie sausage
Lunch: small bowl of pretzels, handful nuts
Snack: large smoothie
Snack: sf iced blended, handful nuts
Dinner: veggie chipotle salad, chips & guac
Dessert: 3 lollipops
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ugh, landlord problems. Some "friends." I'll hope for the best for you
_________________
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2017 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Linda, you do have a job, it's just not one that our society currently rewards with money. You're allowed to say no if you have something that you need to do!

Sorry to hear you've got problems with those "friends", I definitely feel for you on landlord issues!
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Larkspur



Joined: 06 Mar 2017
Posts: 159
Location: Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2017 2:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Linda-- LOL, I have that. Body dysmorphic disorder in a good way. I do a great job of editing when I look in the mirror. Honestly, I'd rather have it this way than the other!

Good luck with your renters. Sounds quite ugh. Hope the house is in better shape than you fear. It does sound like a good plan to just pull the tooth and get them out.
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kaalii



Joined: 24 Apr 2016
Posts: 724
Location: switzerland

PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2017 3:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ironchef wrote:
Linda, you do have a job, it's just not one that our society currently rewards with money. You're allowed to say no if you have something that you need to do!


totally!!
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Age:39
BMI: 19.5-18.5-19.2-19.5-19.2-19-19.5-18.8-18.5-18.2-18.5-19.2
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oolala53



Joined: 06 Oct 2008
Posts: 7506
Location: San Diego, CA USA

PostPosted: Mon May 01, 2017 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Roseanne Barr used to say she had the opposite of anorexia nervosa, thinking she looked a lot slimmer than she was. I'm actually glad to think women can feel they look good bigger, but she was talking about something else...

In any case, it has felt better to eat better all these years, even when I still weighed 45 lbs. more! I even often thought I looked good, especially when I was eating on plan and feeling less stuffed less often.

But is definitely convenient not to feel that judgement when you catch a look in the mirror.
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Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 7 years & counting
Age 63 SBMI Jan/10-30.8 Jan/12-26.8 Mar/13-24.9 Dec/15 24.8 held steady +/- 8-lb. for two years Mar/17 22.8

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.
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lpearlmom



Joined: 02 Aug 2013
Posts: 3210
Location: Arizona

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2017 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah the judgement comes and goes.

Well yesterday was my youngest daughter's bday and then today is mine so definitely a lot of eating. My daughters party was a lot of fun. Everything went smoothly. Yay!

A couple of friends took me out to lunch today but dh was on call so didn't do much else. He did buy me some nice earrings though for my extra holes. (I've got 4 on one side. ) we're going to Sedona in a couple of weeks to celebrate it more properly so I don't mind.

Break: bagel w cream cheese
Lunch: taco salad, ice cream,
Snack: chips & dip
"Dinner" pint of cashew cream (ugh)
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ironchef



Joined: 30 Jul 2012
Posts: 1429
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Mon May 08, 2017 6:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Happy Birthday!
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