I have a problem with commitment. I need help!

No Snacks, no sweets, no seconds. Except on Days that start with S. Too simple for you? Simple is why it works. Look here for questions, introductions, support, success stories.

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Lily x
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 8:50 pm
Location: UK

I have a problem with commitment. I need help!

Post by Lily x » Mon Apr 21, 2014 11:59 am

Hello :)

I first found No S back in September 2011. Read the website, bought the book, raved about it to my friends as being the sanest, most doable approach to weight management I'd ever seen...

...and then got impatient. Didn't lose much weight. Went searching for a faster diet. Couldn't follow through with any of the diets I found. Lost a bit, than gained a bit. I've come back to No S a few times since but every time I've made the same mistake and given up before I really started, forever seeking a speedier solution.

Guess what? I haven't found it, that Holy Grail of diets. And at 17st (239lbs) I now weigh 2 stones (28lbs) more than I did back in September 2011. I feel enormous--probably cos I am enormous. And fed up. And sore and old (I'm 44). And well, stupid. Stupid for letting things go so far.

I want to give up on speedy weight loss once and for all, cos all it seems to lead to is speedy weight gain. I want to plod my way back to health. And I want to keep this feeling--and not be tempted back to doing some other diet.

How do I do that? How do I keep the faith? I've been No S-ing again since last Thursday. Had a couple of pretty wild S days but that's to be expected, I guess. But I'm still trying to speed things along--like I got tempted on Saturday to try to give up sugar as well. Bet you can all guess how that went! I lasted until lunch!

I need to stick to No S and to trust that it works. Anyone have any tips for doing that--how I can crowd out all the "diet" voices in my head telling me there's a better way? Cos I know there isn't! I feel like a crazy person.

r.jean
Posts: 1642
Joined: Fri Dec 24, 2010 7:47 pm
Location: Midwest

Post by r.jean » Mon Apr 21, 2014 12:56 pm

There is no magic. I was 54 when I found No S around Christmas 2010. I had 70 lbs. to lose to achieve a normal BMI. I was also very discouraged with how I let myself go.

I started immediately even though I had doubts that it would work. I was very strict with the rules. I tried to add some healthier choices to my plates but mainly ate what I wanted. I used the habit cal on this site. I also committed to 30 minutes a day of exercise with 1 day off a week if needed. I weighed once a month. I felt I had hit rock bottom and this may have helped me commit. Reading success stories on this site also helped. I lost 45 lbs. the first year (2011). I have maintained that loss but still have that other 25 lbs. I have been too indulgent with my food choices or I am sure I would have lost the rest.

I started struggling this year and I am still working to stay on track. I started getting sloppy and bending the rules. I am doing pretty well again, and I am determined to lose that last 25 lbs. My goal is a 6 lb loss for 2014.

By the way I also did a half marathon in October with a time of 2:33. I am no speed demon but it was an accomplishment for me. I am more fit now than I was in my 40's.

This was long, but I just want you to know it is possible. You can it do it!
The journey is the reward.
Maintenance is progress.

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BrightAngel
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Location: Central California
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Re: I have a problem with commitment. I need help!

Post by BrightAngel » Mon Apr 21, 2014 2:38 pm

Lily x wrote:How do I do that? How do I keep the faith?
I need to stick to No S and to trust that it works.
Anyone have any tips for doing that
--how I can crowd out all the "diet" voices in my head telling me there's a better way?
We all have to find our own way, and many people are content with "Vanilla" No S.
However, the every weekend "S" day concept has never worked for me.

No S will work together with just about any diet around.
My own way ... during my 6 years with No S,
has been to continually work to apply No S Habit concepts,
using most of the basic N day principles,
THEN whenever I want to try a different diet,
I don't drop No S, and pick up another plan.
I try a new diet out by simply adding different ideas into my current No S plan,

It is simple to fit different diet basics into an adapted basic No S, "N" day Habit plan,
then if or when, those new ideas don't work for me,
when I drop them, I still have my basic No S plan.

It's all good, and I tried something new with zero guilt
BrightAngel - (Dr. Collins)
See: DietHobby. com

oolala53
Posts: 9593
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:06 am

I strongly suggest you first make a list of all the disadvantages of how you are living now. How cruddy you feel a lot of the time. How miserable you are that food seems to rule you. ETC. Admit that doing nothing will likely allow things to get worse and trying to follow any other plan at this point will likely backfire. You have got to face what price you are paying by not surrendering. Read that list every day, thinking of the moments when you will be tempted and vowing to remember that price.

Then make a list of the benefits you feel you will gain by following this moderate eating plan. I suggest you start with NO weight loss benefits for now. Do you see how much making losing weight the goal has messed things up in the past? Weight loss isn't going to save you. Haven't you lost it in the past and gained it back. Don't you weigh more now? Read this list every day, too. I read my list of benefits every day at first several times a day, for three months. Accept that all your transgressions are keeping you from experiencing those benefits. Vow to remember at the tough times: THIS is the moment when I have to make the right choice. The more often I make the right choice, the more often I'll make it in the future, as long as the right choice is a fair choice. But read your list. (Doing this is the FIRST tactic recommended by Dr. Judith Beck in her books on weight loss. It is first on the list of daily tasks, which increase in number over the weeks of her program. It really is helpful! )

You've got to believe that moderate eating is really your best bet now, not the least reason for which is that it is livable! And you know why it's livable? Because it's fair! You have got to believe that whatever you're doing is fair. It's worth the tradeoff. On NO S, you give up the habits that are most likely causing the most pain and yielding the least pleasure and turn them on their head. You end up keeping the parts of eating that cost the least sacrifice for the most yield. Delicious meals three times a day, a few nice extras on weekends. You are still living bountifully. Do that for six months. If you haven't lost weight, then start shaving off some dense foods. Making living in peace with food your first goal. You can adjust later.

You've got to really feel that you just can't live in this prison anymore, and that limiting your food in the NO S way is actually freedom. Because it is.
Last edited by oolala53 on Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:48 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

one2bhealthy
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Dec 10, 2013 10:54 pm
Location: United States

lily x

Post by one2bhealthy » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:41 pm

omg, i could have written your post myself, word for word!!! i have to be here to stay also. gonna see the great replies you got and hope they will help me get motivated and stay motivated too!!! thanks for your post. starting again tomorrow. oh and lily i also feel like a crazy person.
:)
Last edited by one2bhealthy on Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
starting no s diet: oct 28 2015
starting wt. 214
goal wt 125
age 50

oolala53
Posts: 9593
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Tue Apr 22, 2014 11:45 pm

oops, was trying to edit original post above.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

User avatar
Lily x
Posts: 26
Joined: Thu Sep 08, 2011 8:50 pm
Location: UK

Re: lily x

Post by Lily x » Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:29 am

r.jean wrote:There is no magic. I was 54 when I found No S around Christmas 2010. I had 70 lbs. to lose to achieve a normal BMI. I was also very discouraged with how I let myself go.

I started immediately even though I had doubts that it would work. I was very strict with the rules. I tried to add some healthier choices to my plates but mainly ate what I wanted. I used the habit cal on this site. I also committed to 30 minutes a day of exercise with 1 day off a week if needed. I weighed once a month. I felt I had hit rock bottom and this may have helped me commit. Reading success stories on this site also helped. I lost 45 lbs. the first year (2011). I have maintained that loss but still have that other 25 lbs. I have been too indulgent with my food choices or I am sure I would have lost the rest.

I started struggling this year and I am still working to stay on track. I started getting sloppy and bending the rules. I am doing pretty well again, and I am determined to lose that last 25 lbs. My goal is a 6 lb loss for 2014.

By the way I also did a half marathon in October with a time of 2:33. I am no speed demon but it was an accomplishment for me. I am more fit now than I was in my 40's.

This was long, but I just want you to know it is possible. You can it do it!
Thank you, r.jean x

That helps a lot. I've all but given up on the idea that I could ever be very slim again (I think I've made too many fat cells for that to be achievable and I really don't fancy liposuction, LOL) but I know how much better I'd feel if I could lose 50lbs - and keep them off. And really, I don't need to be in a hurry. I know what clothes flatter me best and I make myself buy more (rather than wait until I'm slimmer), I know my physical limitations. This doesn't need to be a sprint (ha, sure I can't sprint!).

That half marathon - wow. Really inspiring, well done you!

I think I finally have reached rock bottom (though I seem to have broken through quite a few false bottoms ;)). Managed another N day yesterday. I think I will stay away from Habit Cal for now, though. I know some find it very inspiring but I find the moment I start turning days red that it demotivates me. I have perfectionist tendencies, I'm an all or nothing girl! Need to work on that, I know!
BrightAngel wrote: We all have to find our own way, and many people are content with "Vanilla" No S. However, the every weekend "S" day concept has never worked for me.

No S will work together with just about any diet around.
My own way ... during my 6 years with No S, has been to continually work to apply No S Habit concepts, using most of the basic N day principles,THEN whenever I want to try a different diet, I don't drop No S, and pick up another plan. I try a new diet out by simply adding different ideas into my current No S plan,

It is simple to fit different diet basics into an adapted basic No S, "N" day Habit plan,
then if or when, those new ideas don't work for me, when I drop them, I still have my basic No S plan.

It's all good, and I tried something new with zero guilt
A very good point, thank you. I suspect I just need to get the basic habit down first though. 3 plates a day! Need to overcome the urge to tweak, at least for a while... :)
oolala53 wrote:I strongly suggest you first make a list of all the disadvantages of how you are living now. How cruddy you feel a lot of the time. How miserable you are that food seems to rule you. ETC. Admit that doing nothing will likely allow things to get worse and trying to follow any other plan at this point will likely backfire. You have got to face what price you are paying by not surrendering. Read that list every day, thinking of the moments when you will be tempted and vowing to remember that price.

Then make a list of the benefits you feel you will gain by following this moderate eating plan. I suggest you start with NO weight loss benefits for now. Do you see how much making losing weight the goal has messed things up in the past? Weight loss isn't going to save you. Haven't you lost it in the past and gained it back. Don't you weigh more now? Read this list every day, too. I read my list of benefits every day at first several times a day, for three months. Accept that all your transgressions are keeping you from experiencing those benefits. Vow to remember at the tough times: THIS is the moment when I have to make the right choice. The more often I make the right choice, the more often I'll make it in the future, as long as the right choice is a fair choice. But read your list. (Doing this is the FIRST tactic recommended by Dr. Judith Beck in her books on weight loss. It is first on the list of daily tasks, which increase in number over the weeks of her program. It really is helpful! )

You've got to believe that moderate eating is really your best bet now, not the least reason for which is that it is livable! And you know why it's livable? Because it's fair! You have got to believe that whatever you're doing is fair. It's worth the tradeoff. On NO S, you give up the habits that are most likely causing the most pain and yielding the least pleasure and turn them on their head. You end up keeping the parts of eating that cost the least sacrifice for the most yield. Delicious meals three times a day, a few nice extras on weekends. You are still living bountifully. Do that for six months. If you haven't lost weight, then start shaving off some dense foods. Making living in peace with food your first goal. You can adjust later.

You've got to really feel that you just can't live in this prison anymore, and that limiting your food in the NO S way is actually freedom. Because it is.
Oh my. Yes. Exactly. You're so right. And intellectually at least, I know this. Think it might take a while to persuade my emotional self, but the theory is completely sound. Think I might come back to read this post rather a lot over the coming days and weeks... Thank you x x
one2bhealthy wrote:omg, i could have written your post myself, word for word!!! i have to be here to stay also. gonna see the great replies you got and hope they will help me get motivated and stay motivated too!!! thanks for your post. starting again tomorrow. oh and lily i also feel like a crazy person.
:)
But it's not us who's crazy. It's the diet industry that's crazy, building all those false hopes and dreams. I've been rereading my No S book this morning (should have done it months ago!) and reminded myself how crazy that all is. If you weigh too much it's because (thyroid issues etc aside) you eat too much. Our grandparents didn't need to diet because they weren't eating all the time. Eating 3 meals a day is as sane as it gets. :)

One2bhealthy, we can do this. One plate at a time. :)

Thank you all so much xx

oolala53
Posts: 9593
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Post by oolala53 » Wed Apr 23, 2014 11:03 am

Just saying: my maternal grandmother (from Ireland) was obese. She was hospitalized and basically starved to force her to drop weight in her 50's or 60's . Miraculously, she got to normal weight and she never went back to overeating! She never even talked about wanting to eat more, but she also didn't talk about eating to be healthy, etc. She died at age 78. I wish I had known to ask her more about this. Was her fear of the consequences of regaining weight so great that she was able to say no to food or did she just lose the desire? I'll never know.

But this doesn't change the basic wisdom of No S.
Count plates, not calories. Three a day. 9 years & counting
Age 65
SBMI Jan/10-30.8
Jan/12-26.8
Mar/13-24.9 Stayed at +/- 8-lb. for three years Sept/17 22.8 (but more fluctuation)
Mar/18 22.2

There is no S better than Vanilla No S.

User avatar
butterfly1000
Posts: 302
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 1:37 pm

Re: lily x

Post by butterfly1000 » Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:03 pm

one2bhealthy wrote:omg, i could have written your post myself, word for word!!! i have to be here to stay also. gonna see the great replies you got and hope they will help me get motivated and stay motivated too!!! thanks for your post. starting again tomorrow. oh and lily i also feel like a crazy person.
:)
I feel exactly the same way! Just can't find the motivation.

Simpless
Posts: 100
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 1:21 am

Post by Simpless » Thu Apr 24, 2014 7:01 pm

Hi Lily x,

I just want to encourage you to follow No S and receive the support that's here :). I came across No S in 2009 but didn't really get into it until this March. I've been up and down for years and now in my 50s its harder to lose, but it can be done. You are young! You are here and you can do this - Three good meals a day and something special on weekends until you're "living in peace with food" as oolala53 wrote. I'm not at that point yet but hope to be. So I don't plan on doing any tweaking for some time either. Looking forward to your posts. :D

wosnes
Posts: 4168
Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:38 pm
Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA

Post by wosnes » Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:39 pm

I have a favorite definition of commitment: carrying through on a resolution long after the spirit in which it was made has passed. My favorite example is how you felt the night you got engaged and how you feel after you've been married a few (or more!) years.

I think you have to concentrate on the effort it takes to keep the commitment.
"That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do. Not that the nature of the thing itself has changed but our power to do it is increased." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You are what you eat -- so don't be Fast, Easy, Cheap or Fake."

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