Hello I'm new and this looks like something I can cling to

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:18 pm

Hi, just wanted to say hello and SO glad I came across this noSdiet!!
It looks like just plain common sense, but I never put it into rules for myself and had nothing to cling to for guidance.
I'm taking today as an S day but the way I am choosing to interpret S days it to have a choice between the 3 s's. I can either have a snack, a second helping at a meal or a sweet at the end of the day. Haven't decided what that will be yet. DH thinks cake sounds good

Actually yesterday afternoon was the start of my first nosing. I was starrrrving for my eveining dessert/snack but then after reading everyone's post and the main page Reinhard composed, it just didn't seem worth it.

I am expecting setbacks. DH works a lot and I'm here by myself with a 2 yr old and 3 month old. I am breastfeeding her yet so I am not going to go overboard with limiting my portions just yet, since I hear that dieting affects milk production more than it does fat loss and I want her to have the best for now.

I haven't started shovelgloving but DH has weights downstairs that would work. I have a nice treadmill for the cold days when taking the kiddos out in the stroller isn't a good idea. I LOVE the idea of the timer for 14 minutes and the shovelglove exercises aren't complex where you have to do a lot of thinking.

I've tried the body for life (which worked for a few weeks when I kept it up) but so many sets of this and that and then write it all down and then do your meal plans and count this and that... oy.

I hope you don't mind me coming to the boards for support, days when dh is gone for a few days at a time will be my hardest, and some days I have a lot of anxiety that it seems food allows me to cover up and forget- temporarily.

I am also noticing how the noS is a lot about managing yourself psychologically- since mindless eating for some seems to be a way to push down feelings rather than acknowledging them and moving on with your day.

We just moved to the area so I find myself with no friends just yet and no where near family but hopefully I'll find some through playgroup and whatnot.

My long term goal is to get down to 170, it's very long term and I'd even be happy with 180 if it came right down to it. Right now starting weight of 240. I'[m only 3mo post partum, so trying to not be too hard onmyself but I spend much of my day worrying about my weight, my appearance, how painful my hips have become, how ugly I look/feel. My dh is adoring and supportive of me but I still don't feel very attractive to him. There are some things that were said to me as a child (the fat kid) that haunt me to this day, and I'm hoping I can overcome those in time.

I usually introduce myself everytime I start a new diet/fitness program as the queen of failure- give it a shot for a week, and give up when the scale doesn't even budge. So here I am trying yet another way of eating.

Plan to use the stoplight calendar for my N and S days.

Tell me the basis of the 21 days? I hear it mentioned but what is the general idea of that? You try really hard for 21 days, see where it gets you and then decide to stop or continue? Do all 21 days have to be successful or do you start over if you fall off the bandwagon?

Thanks for letting me introduce myself.

Iregirl · Post by **Iregirl** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:06 pm

Welcome, Shamrockmommy!

I usually introduce myself everytime I start a new diet/fitness program as the queen of failure- give it a shot for a week, and give up when the scale doesn't even budge. So here I am trying yet another way of eating.

The beauty of No S is that it's not only a new way of eating, it's a new way of thinking. That's where the 21 days comes in. The theory is that it takes 21 days to successfully form a habit, so after 21 days of doing No S it starts to become more habit, less effort.

I'm in the process of trying hard to let go of the need to see my weight drop down immediately in favour of the knowledge that this is a healthy way to approach food and that if I master it, a healthier body will naturally follow.

Please, come here and post every day if you need to! Think about starting a daily check-in thread in the Daily Check-in forum. I find that it's incredibly helpful to have one, and it's a nice way to stay accountable.

So, again; welcome, and make yourself at home!

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:20 am

Thanks Iregirl.

I have to say I feel better already after just one day. I'm not bloated or gassy and TMI I"m not tromping to the toilet several times a day! I must have been a pig with the mindless eating. One nice benefit anyway.

I started a checkin page for myself also.
Got to run, baby crying

S

pangelsue · Post by **pangelsue** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:39 pm

Welcome. Girl or boy baby? You are right to put the needs of the baby first for now. Eat as healthy as you can. Giving up seconds won't affect the baby at all and giving up sweets and snack food will be as good for the baby as it is for you. If you lose some weight and can run around with you child as she or he grows, that will be awesome for you and the child. This is a win/win situation. Give it time. You'll like it here and more importantly, you'll like you more here.

Regarding the 21 day club. It is 21 successful days whether they are S days or N days. 21 in a row. To make it official, you do have to start over if you have a day that is a failure. Then when you achieve that goal, you just move on to your next day/week/21 days/month/year/ whatever. As Iregirl said, 21 days helps establish habit. Best of luck and again, welcome.

Kwag Myers · Post by **Kwag Myers** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 2:53 pm

Hi shamrockmommy, and welcome to a saner, better way of life!

Man, I could totally relate when you said you introduce yourself on new diet forums as The Queen of Failure. I, too, am one who starts off with a BANG and fizzles out very quickly...then I beat myself up for being a quitter on top of feeling really bad that this new plan I thought was going to solve my lifelong struggle with food and my weight and how I felt inside my body wasn't going to work for me.

I have finally realized the ONLY way any person can lose weight and sustain that loss is by finding something they can feel comfortable doing every single day for all the rest of the days of their life. Some wise person on this board (I wish I could remember who so I could give them credit) said: the No-S Diet IS the maintenance phase--from the beginning you're already doing what it will take to maintain your weight loss. Hmmm--how sane is that?!?

I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you're much younger than me. I'm 46, and I am just now learning to feel comfortable inside my own skin. My struggle with my body began at puberty--I developed earlier than anyone else at school, and you know from personal experience how cruel kids can be to one another. Add to that the consistent message from my mother: "You're too big....you can't wear cute clothes because you're too big...boys don't like girls who are too big...etc." I am BIG--I'm fairly tall and I have broad shoulders and a wide rib cage...and when I got down to the weight she thought I should be, I was still just as wide, only I had bird legs and stick arms. I say all of this to say, if there was one thing I wish for you it is that you won't waste your precious time and valuable emotional energy obsessing about your weight or feeling ugly. I am here to tell you it's not productive--it's self abusive, actually.

For me, the gift of middle age was slowly learning to accept this body God gave me. Like you, my inner squirrel used to CONSTANTLY wonder what other people were thinking about my size and my looks and my clothes and blah, blah, blah. I thought if they didn't approve of my appearance, they automatically didn't accept who I was as a person. I learned that people honestly aren't giving what I look like a moment of time because they are all too busy wondering what everybody else is thinking about how THEY look. I also realized that what makes a person attractive, or dare I say beautiful, is their spirit--and it's the body's job to carry our spirit around in this world. I sensed from your few posts that you have an incredibly beautiful spirit--so keep letting that shine, and then be kind to the body that holds it.

I love how you said you felt like you found something you can cling to--this plan is also that for me--I cling to the serenity it provides--I cling to the knowledge I'll never have to figure out which diet to try next--I cling to the joy of watching my body go naturally to the size it knows is right (and I'll still be BIG...)--I cling to the way it makes me feel so much better in so many ways. I'll stop rambling now, but I want you to know I wish you all the best--you CAN stick with this one.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 3:17 pm

I am choosing to interpret S days it to have a choice between the 3 s's. I can either have a snack, a second helping at a meal or a sweet at the end of the day.

I interpret it as meaning that I can do any or all of them, I just have to be sensible and not overdo or think that an S day means I can stuff myself from morning to night. There have been S days when I did none of them. It wasn't a plan not to do them -- just the way things happened. Most often I don't realize that I didn't indulge until a day or two later.

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 9:21 pm

Wow thanks everyone for your replies!

pangelsue, she's a girl

I have a 2 yr old boy also so I feel exhausted before I even get up in the morning... I am sure it has a lot to do with me feeling like a blob... 2 yr old wants me to get down on the floor and play with him but getting up/down, and I just feel awkward among the toys and playing, I don't like doing it. They are sweet, beautiful children, and something I feel I did right!

Kwag Myers, I am with you on how your mom said such terrible things to you. I will never forget one day my mom told me when I was oh, probably 7 yrs, "you're so fat, by the time you get to high school they won't be able to shove you through the doors!" (that's word for word by the way.) Also "if youstay this fat, no man will ever want you!"

Well she was wrong on both counts but it still hurts, terribly. It's not easy being kind to myself since my family and kids at school were all so mean to me about my size. It's hard to believe that I am a worthy person after yeeears of abusive language like that.

I am pushing 30 now by the way, can't believe I'm approaching "middle aged!" LOL

wosnes: I think I may have to go with you on this one about S days. Perhaps a little of everything.... I fear if I don't I'll make myself impossibly crazy and fail on my N days. Thanks for sharing your interpretation. I think I was being way too strict for myself.

I want to say thanks again for everyone's support, it really means so much to me. Kwag- I was in tears when you said I have a beautiful spirit... my dh tells me all the time but those inner voices that tell me how terrible I am makes it a little hard to hear.

I think I have a more appreciable goal now than just weight loss... healing my inner spirit, loving me for me.

Youguys are great!

harpista · Post by **harpista** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 5:01 am

Kwag Myers wrote: I learned that people honestly aren't giving what I look like a moment of time because they are all too busy wondering what everybody else is thinking about how THEY look. I also realized that what makes a person attractive, or dare I say beautiful, is their spirit--and it's the body's job to carry our spirit around in this world.

Well SAID!!!!!

Since I (in the last year) started taking this attitude, it has amazed me, the difference in how people react to me. I would recommend it to anyone- try it for a week or two and see.

Projecting friendliness and love and caring (warmth!) can be so scary, even still after about a year of practicing it is hard and scary on some days, but it is so incredible how people react to genuine warmth and how different my experience of the world is.

jaob · Post by **jaob** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 4:19 pm

Kwag Myers and Harpista, I want to thank you for your posts. It is a great reminder to be kind to ourselves. Although I didn't go through childhood with verbal abuse from peers or parents, in my later years I think I have verbally abused myself enough to have disabled my feeling of success. I pray that this WOE will relieve me of my obsession with food and weight loss! And I WILL be kind to myself!

joasia · Post by **joasia** » Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:24 am

Hello, welcome. You will like it here. Just wondering: you have posted here before, are you new, or do we have two shamrockmommies?

FarmerHal · Post by **FarmerHal** » Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:20 pm

I'm one and the same. Been here since Dec. 16.