Surrendering

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:35 pm

If some of you have followed my posts you know that I was doing great on no-s for 2 weeks and that I honestly felt like it changed my life. However, with PMS and "diet head" over the past week you know I have struggled really hard with the following issues on no-s:

1. Getting out of "diet head"
2. Waiting too long between meals or not eating enough to carry me over and then hunger is out of control which leads to a binge.
3. Trying to be so perfect and being so afraid of a Fail day and feeling like a failure
4. Panicking that the weight isn't melting off or going fast enough
5. Worrying which foods to eat and being too hard on myself for eating too much or drinking too much coffee.
6. Afraid S days will be a problem for me and not planning properly for them
7. Making poor food choices that are not going to be filling (this usually happens in a rush situation where I haven't planned very well)

All of this stems from years of dieting and a warped mentality and outlook that happens as a result. Trying to restrict my food intake or coffee consumption is just too much for me to handle.

After 2 days of binge eating this past weekend I got on track and felt great but the next day I didn't have lunch with me and grabbed something in the office which I knew wouldn't tide me over until dinner with some coffee. I came home from work and was literally shaking and I ate dinner early. I have never experienced this shaking and it scared the crap out of me. My dinner didn't fill me up at all and so I had seconds which led to a binge of course because I have an all or nothing mentality and because I just couldn't get full. I panicked and said no-s is not for me.

Well, then I bought Go4Trim which is "supposedly" an appetite suppresent. Tried it this morning and felt sick, it didn't help my hunger level whatsoever and thought to myself what am I doing? There is no magic pill, diet, plan etc. I know better than this and I know that I have to stick with No-S. I have no choice and then suddenly... I SURRENDERED!

I am surrendering to the following...

1. My current weight.
Yes, I am up a few more pounds than 3 weeks ago when I started No-S and my clothes are incredibly tight and I'm uncomfortable but you know what...I surrender. No-S is a sane way to eat and be and that alone should be enough. If I keep dieting which causes me to binge eat I will easily gain another 5lbs in the next month or so. If I have to buy bigger clothes that's what I'll have to do.

2. No-S Vanilla.
I am starting over from today and am sticking this through. Part of the reason I freaked out yesterday is because I knew in the back of my mind I was going to try this Go4Slim and I had been listening to some co-workers who had lost 4lbs in 1 week on low carb and I got anxiety that another plan would go faster for me. You know what... slow and steady wins the race.

2A. A life of no dieting.
That's right folks. No more dieting for me. No more weighing myself, no more thinking about this food or that food, no counting calories or watching those weight loss shows, no more magazine articles about this celebrity or that celebrity losing weight.

And no comparing to others. Yes some women are very thin and some people may be better "dieters" than me but I just can't do this any more. NO MORE DIETING!

I am COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FED UP OF DIETING and will no longer do this to myself.

I'm not going to tell myself I can't have coffee, or I can't eat this food or that food, or that having a treat on the weekend is counterproductive because it's not. All of you can do this, why can't I?

I'm going to make better choices that fill me up and are going to make me feel good because I know before I eat something (ususally on the run) that is not going to do the trick for me.

Anyways, I feel like I have confessed my "sins" to you all but I feel totally ready to do this and do it right and the only way you can seriously do no-s is to truly SURRENDER to "diet head" and just do it almost like auto-pilot and maybe even have fun with this.. enjoy my meals, enjoy the journey.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Sorry it was so long.

Nicole

Sinnie · Post by **Sinnie** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:55 pm

Listen, I can't tell you how many times I went through the same thing. I've even had the shaking before, occasionally still happens. Over time, my body did adapt to longer times between meals. I thought I was hypoglycemic or something, but truthfully I was just used to eating when I want and had no discipline, and my body rebelled.

I find recently I've taken up the mantra of more balanced meals, ensuring a carb, protein and fruit/veg with EACH meal. That has helped a lot.

I think I must have tried and left and came back to NoS one hundred times over the years. I should have just stayed. There is no comparison. For people like us who suffer from diet-head, you can't beat this program. It will eventually COMPLETELY normalize your life.

Good luck!

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:05 pm

I feel for you. It sucks to feel like that.

Not everyone finds planning useful. I do. Then when I'm hungry, I'm LOOKING FORWARD to a meal I'd decided to have, or a treat I'd decided to have on the weekends.

Keep in mind that one bad week, more or less over the course of the rest of your life is fairly insignificant.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:26 pm

Congratulations!

I've been thinking about "dieting" lately and while most of us have done it at one time or another, I don't think it's a normal way to live. Worrying about food isn't good for your health -- and probably not your weight, either.

gettheweightoff · Post by **gettheweightoff** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:29 pm

Oh thank you. It's great to know I'm not alone.

I know it is normal to fail and it's part of life and this is new and it's going to take some trial and error. I just take the "failing" part so hard especially when I no longer fit into my "fat clothes"

I just have to take the pressure off of myself, manage my expectations and CHILL OUT.

I'll take your advice about your meals and make sure I have more balanced meals.

Nicest of the Damned · Post by **Nicest of the Damned** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:32 pm

gettheweightoff wrote: 3. Trying to be so perfect and being so afraid of a Fail day and feeling like a failure

I can relate to this. I didn't start doing HabitCal until I'd been on No S for about three months, because I was afraid of having to let everybody know I had a red day. Then I had a red day (on August 30, 2010), and I entered it on my HabitCal.

And do you know what happened then? Nothing. The sun rose the next day. The world did not end (as you might have noticed). The Earth did not stop turning. Nobody said anything nasty on the boards. Nicest Husband didn't say anything nasty (he might not even have noticed). I didn't get kicked off the boards. The next day was an S day, because it was my wedding anniversary, but the rest of that week was green. I continued on No S. I didn't really feel like any more of a failure than I did before.

I don't tend to buy the argument about how bad things happening are actually blessings in disguise (I'm way too cynical for that), but this one actually was. I didn't feel like it would be the end of the world if I had a red day, after that one.

NoelFigart wrote:Not everyone finds planning useful. I do. Then when I'm hungry, I'm LOOKING FORWARD to a meal I'd decided to have, or a treat I'd decided to have on the weekends.

What about people who don't like planning meals, but are grudgingly accepting that it can be a good thing? I'm trying to plan out more meals for myself and Nicest Husband. I've tried this before and failed, so we shall see how it works this time. But we do seem to eat better when I do plan meals. I just hate doing it.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:06 pm

Sounds like a great idea, hon. I too am having similar feelings and experiences as yourself (see my recent post on daily check in, then again, you don't want to be depressed, so perhaps not.... )

All the very best to you on this journey.

NoelFigart · Post by **NoelFigart** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:01 pm

What about people who don't like planning meals, but are grudgingly accepting that it can be a good thing? I'm trying to plan out more meals for myself and Nicest Husband. I've tried this before and failed, so we shall see how it works this time. But we do seem to eat better when I do plan meals. I just hate doing it.

I know not everyone is a planner. I don't know what works in such a case.

I've heard of (and tried) Once a Month Cooking. I actually enjoy cooking and usually find it relaxing, so it's not for me unless I know I am headed for an unusually busy time. Then I will do a few sessions and freeze up some meals. But if you like the idea of being able to pull meals out of the freezer on a regular basis, it can be pretty convenient without actually eating the expensive, chemical-laden stuff from the freezer section.

Then you don't have to plan so much. Your freezer is full of food you've made that you like. 'Nuff said.

exdieter · Post by **exdieter** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:57 pm

Awww, I feel so much where you are coming from, Nicole! You probably got the shakes from a combination of not enough food and the coffee. Whenever I drink coffee, I get the shakes like that.

Maybe you can give yourself permission to have a banana if you ever get the shakes again! I mean, the world will not end, and you will not be a failure if you screw up your preparation for a meal and find that you have a red day. Life will get in the way sooner or later, and seems like the secret to the success is not so much perfection but how you handle the inevitable slip-ups.

Sienna · Post by **Sienna** » Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:35 am

This time of year is especially bad for "diets". What with all the companies trying to cash in on the New Years Resolution crowd and all...

I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't tempted by the "get thin fast" schemes, even though I've been on NoS long enough now to *know* that it works. In fact, sometimes that makes it *more* tempting because I think "Oh, I'll just drop the weight super fast using the Weight-Loss-O-Matic-System and then switch back to the sensible NoS system to maintain for life!" If I weren't so frugal (gift? curse?), I probably WOULD have bought some new fangled supplement on impulse. But when I sit down and really think about it, I realize that I did not put on this weight overnight. Or even over a few weeks or months. It took years to get to this weight. And it's ridiculous to think that I can safely and sustainably get it off overnight or in a few weeks or in my case even in a few months (I started with over 75 pounds to lose - so at LEAST a year).

By the same token, we don't develop "diet head" and obsessions overnight. And it's not fair to ourselves to expect to be able to conquer them overnight. If quitting an obsession was that easy, then everyone would just ditch their vices and be done with it. And being too hard on yourself for slipping into "diet head" can be just as destructive as being too hard on yourself for slipping up on the NoS rules.

Life isn't about perfection. If it were, we would all be screwed. It's important to remember that there is ALWAYS room for improvement. But don't let that be discouraging, let it be freeing. Because there is always room for improvement, there is no reason to be disappointed by a lack of perfection. So let yourself feel Free, not just from diet head, but also from fear of failure.

You can do it! One little step at a time.

Sienna · Post by **Sienna** » Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:49 am

Also, instead of an appetite suppressant that may or may not be good for you, if you just want to deter yourself from eating between meals you could try brushing your teeth and/or rinsing with mouth wash shortly after you finish eating. I usually swish a little mouth wash if I'm baking a lot of sweet things and am worried about mindless tasting (aka covert ninja snacking). Makes it impossible not to notice slipping food into your mouth AND it's good for your teeth

DaveMc · Post by **DaveMc** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:19 pm

I've read many posts like yours, by people whose relationship to food has been completely messed up by years of unsustainable diets. The good news is, I've *also* read many posts by those same people reporting, after a year or two of NoS (sometimes less), that they've made peace with food and can now eat without the pervasive sense of guilt/shame/panic that they used to experience. I've never been through this, myself, but I feel for you. I think you're doing exactly the right thing by trying to rid yourself of "diet head", and I wish you the best of luck!

And don't worry about long posts! We're happy to read them.

[Oh, and a P.S. re: "... some co-workers who had lost 4lbs in 1 week on low carb ..." The thing is, where are those 4 lbs going to be, a year or two from now? In the majority of cases, they'll be back, with a bunch of friends.]

DaveMc · Post by **DaveMc** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:22 pm

I've read many posts like yours, by people whose relationship to food has been completely messed up by years of unsustainable diets. The good news is, I've *also* read many posts by those same people reporting, after a year or two of NoS (sometimes less), that they've made peace with food and can now eat without the pervasive sense of guilt/shame/panic that they used to experience. I've never been through this, myself, but I feel for you. I think you're doing exactly the right thing by trying to rid yourself of "diet head", and I wish you the best of luck!

And don't worry about long posts! We're happy to read them.

[Oh, and a P.S. re: "... some co-workers who had lost 4lbs in 1 week on low carb ..." The thing is, where are those 4 lbs going to be, a year or two from now? In a great many cases, they'll be back, with a bunch of friends.]

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