Why do I ?
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
Why do I ?
It's funny.....I want this lifestyle so much and it makes total sense to me. Why do I choose to let myself fail everyday? It seems like I always give in to sweets, like they have some kind of control over me. How do I get past that super sweet craving?
Re: Why do I ?
It's hard.
You could ease into this if you need to. Have two, then one, small sweet snack a day at first. Once you break its addictive grip (that might be hyperbole), eliminate it completely.
You have a habit of eating sweet stuff, and you may crave the sugar rush. No change is easy.
You could ease into this if you need to. Have two, then one, small sweet snack a day at first. Once you break its addictive grip (that might be hyperbole), eliminate it completely.
You have a habit of eating sweet stuff, and you may crave the sugar rush. No change is easy.
Amy wrote:It's funny.....I want this lifestyle so much and it makes total sense to me. Why do I choose to let myself fail everyday? It seems like I always give in to sweets, like they have some kind of control over me. How do I get past that super sweet craving? :(
Kevin
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
1/13/2011-189# :: 4/21/2011-177# :: Goal-165#
"Respecting the 4th S: sometimes."
Sweets are my biggest issue and sometimes I just have to grit my teeth, drink a bunch of water, and go to bed early. But most days it isn't that hard and I can just distract myself. Brushing my teeth and then putting on lip gloss has been known to work too although I'm somewhat embarassed it's even necessary, lol. And I know there's someone on this board (I forget who) who has successfully lost weight and kept it off while keeping the option open for a few cookies in the evening.
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NoelFigart
- Posts: 1639
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- Location: Lebanon, NH
- Contact:
Okay, Mama Noel' gonna write a novel about this. If I'm boring the soul out of you, roll your eyes and skip it, and who could blame you.
There are two problems you're dealing with -- bad habits and a finite amount of self-discipline.
The finite amount of self-discipline is a HUMAN trait. There's nothing wrong with you about this. That's just human.
If you have not, over a period of time, turned positive behaviors into habit (and many of us haven't or we wouldn't be here. That's also okay, and it doesn't mean you're weak or bad), every positive behavior you choose to exhibit takes effort and self-discipline.
You only have so much to go around. Anything that's a conscious choice and effort takes of of the energy you have available to you.
This means that if you have a habit of eating sweets, until you turn it into a habit of NOT eating sweets, it becomes a matter for conscious effort and self-discipline, until it's so ingrained that it's habit and you don't think about.
So, if you're trying to work on more than one habit, or have not ingrained a LOT of positive behaviors into unconscious habit, you feel like an undisciplined mess.
There are positive behaviors you have that are not conscious behaviors but unconscious habit you give no thought at all, already. You probably wipe yourself every time you go to the bathroom. (I know, crude, but deeply ingrained in Western habits). That takes no effort, thought or self-discipline. You just DO it.
Right now, eating sweets frequently is nearly as ingrained for you. To stop that and change what you're doing is taking conscious effort. If you have other things competing with that which you might give more priority (kids, cleaning house, doing taxes, whatever) you've got energy being spent on that competing stuff rather than the developing habit of not eating sweets during the week.
So, you need to consider how high a priority you want to give the conscious effort of this particular behavior. At first, when you decide to develop a habit, you're giving it LOTS of attention. Depending on how long you've had an opposing habit will have some bearing on how long it takes to become unconscious.
But... You're not helpless in the face of SWEETS per se. You're needing to spend a great deal of effort in the face of HABIT. (Reframing it might be useful to you to give the sweets less "power" mentally).
Anyway, I hope this makes sense and helps.
There are two problems you're dealing with -- bad habits and a finite amount of self-discipline.
The finite amount of self-discipline is a HUMAN trait. There's nothing wrong with you about this. That's just human.
If you have not, over a period of time, turned positive behaviors into habit (and many of us haven't or we wouldn't be here. That's also okay, and it doesn't mean you're weak or bad), every positive behavior you choose to exhibit takes effort and self-discipline.
You only have so much to go around. Anything that's a conscious choice and effort takes of of the energy you have available to you.
This means that if you have a habit of eating sweets, until you turn it into a habit of NOT eating sweets, it becomes a matter for conscious effort and self-discipline, until it's so ingrained that it's habit and you don't think about.
So, if you're trying to work on more than one habit, or have not ingrained a LOT of positive behaviors into unconscious habit, you feel like an undisciplined mess.
There are positive behaviors you have that are not conscious behaviors but unconscious habit you give no thought at all, already. You probably wipe yourself every time you go to the bathroom. (I know, crude, but deeply ingrained in Western habits). That takes no effort, thought or self-discipline. You just DO it.
Right now, eating sweets frequently is nearly as ingrained for you. To stop that and change what you're doing is taking conscious effort. If you have other things competing with that which you might give more priority (kids, cleaning house, doing taxes, whatever) you've got energy being spent on that competing stuff rather than the developing habit of not eating sweets during the week.
So, you need to consider how high a priority you want to give the conscious effort of this particular behavior. At first, when you decide to develop a habit, you're giving it LOTS of attention. Depending on how long you've had an opposing habit will have some bearing on how long it takes to become unconscious.
But... You're not helpless in the face of SWEETS per se. You're needing to spend a great deal of effort in the face of HABIT. (Reframing it might be useful to you to give the sweets less "power" mentally).
Anyway, I hope this makes sense and helps.
------
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
My blog https://noelfigart.com/wordpress/ I talk about being a freelance writer, working out and cooking mostly. The language is not always drawing room fashion. Just sayin'.
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Nicest of the Damned
- Posts: 719
- Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:26 pm
Have you tried making the sweets harder to get to when the impulse to eat them hits?
This could mean not buying the sweets you like, so you don't have them in the house. If that's not practical, you could at least put them away in a cupboard or somewhere else out of sight, so you're not looking at them or smelling them all the time.
Another thing to try would be not spending time near where you keep the sweets. If you keep them in only one place in the house, that will make this easier, of course. If you keep them in the kitchen, spend your time somewhere other than the kitchen. You could go take a walk, or you could watch TV or surf the internet from another room. It just has to be something that keeps you from hanging out where the sweets are. If they're out of sight, it helps keep them out of mind. If you're in another room, you can also enlist your laziness to help keep you away from the sweets. If you want to get a sweet, you'd have to get up and go to the kitchen first, and you don't really want to do that, now do you?
If you're getting the sweets somewhere outside your home, is not going to wherever it is you're getting them an option, at least for a few weeks? Say you get candy every time you go to the movies- maybe you should try not going to the movies for a little while, just until your No S habits are a little better established.
The trickiest situation is where someone else is giving you the sweets, or you're eating them with someone else. But some people don't care nearly as much as you might think they do if you say "no, thanks" when they offer you sweets. Try it and see what happens. If they don't respond favorably, you might want to tell them that you're on a diet that doesn't allow you to eat sweets, except on special days. If that doesn't work, try restricting your socializing with them to S days.
This could mean not buying the sweets you like, so you don't have them in the house. If that's not practical, you could at least put them away in a cupboard or somewhere else out of sight, so you're not looking at them or smelling them all the time.
Another thing to try would be not spending time near where you keep the sweets. If you keep them in only one place in the house, that will make this easier, of course. If you keep them in the kitchen, spend your time somewhere other than the kitchen. You could go take a walk, or you could watch TV or surf the internet from another room. It just has to be something that keeps you from hanging out where the sweets are. If they're out of sight, it helps keep them out of mind. If you're in another room, you can also enlist your laziness to help keep you away from the sweets. If you want to get a sweet, you'd have to get up and go to the kitchen first, and you don't really want to do that, now do you?
If you're getting the sweets somewhere outside your home, is not going to wherever it is you're getting them an option, at least for a few weeks? Say you get candy every time you go to the movies- maybe you should try not going to the movies for a little while, just until your No S habits are a little better established.
The trickiest situation is where someone else is giving you the sweets, or you're eating them with someone else. But some people don't care nearly as much as you might think they do if you say "no, thanks" when they offer you sweets. Try it and see what happens. If they don't respond favorably, you might want to tell them that you're on a diet that doesn't allow you to eat sweets, except on special days. If that doesn't work, try restricting your socializing with them to S days.
sometimes to stop a bad habit, you need to start a new habit. Right now, it sounds like you have a feeling of urgency that is relieved by an action--eating the sweets. For me, I have to find something to do with that feeling of urgency--a new habit (or even one of several habits). It helps if whatever it is has an obvious "done" signal, and also if they discourage the "eating extra sweets" habit themselves. Toothbrushing is a great example for many people--it's easy to tell when you're done, and lots pf people don't like eating with a fresh minty mouth. Lip gloss is also good, because it replaces one hand to mouth activity with another.
One thing that you don't say is if these sweets are in between meals, or if you're having meals and then sweets "extra"--outside of mealtimes. A daily habit of eating sweets isn't great, but it would be better if you put it on your plate at mealtime on purpose and counted in than had it not count in your meal. Then at least you get the habit of eating at mealtimes, which eliminates most of the culprit of excess food--snacks.
When I started No S, and even now, I didn't exclude sweets. I already had enough willpower to eat just one from a bag of chocolates and stop (because I used to just eat through a bag far too quickly) by permitting one chocolate, but only if I was on my way out the door, and not coming back for more than an hour. I only tend to go out once a day, so that was one chocolate, and I was prevented from habitual repeats by separating myself from the bag. (At first, I took a few more long walks too, which was a great side-benefit, but now I just eat fewer chocolates). At any rate, while no sweets on n days is an admirable goal, I don't do it on purpose.
The main thing for me is to stick to meals only. If I have the urge for a sweet, I put it on the plate with a little extra room about it, because it's goodness is concentrated. :)
I don't drink sweetened drinks at all anymore though, and did stop those when I started No S even though I still allowed "sweets". I didn't drink a lot before, so it's not like I had a habit to overcome, but when I started No S I noticed that I drank more sweetened beverages-so I stopped.
At any rate, with this "planned or no sweets" version of No s that I do, I lost weight for 3 months, maintained for a year and am losing more again now--I wonder if I only can lose weight from Feb-April? hopefully I won't have another plateau this summer, but Maintaining the habits of no snacks no seconds is what I focus on, and some of the sweets I used to eat didn't fit into the meals in the first place--but I wasn't deprived of all of them. And some of the sweets I used to plan as part of my meal I don't eat anymore, because I don't want them as much. Which is totally awesome. :)
One thing that you don't say is if these sweets are in between meals, or if you're having meals and then sweets "extra"--outside of mealtimes. A daily habit of eating sweets isn't great, but it would be better if you put it on your plate at mealtime on purpose and counted in than had it not count in your meal. Then at least you get the habit of eating at mealtimes, which eliminates most of the culprit of excess food--snacks.
When I started No S, and even now, I didn't exclude sweets. I already had enough willpower to eat just one from a bag of chocolates and stop (because I used to just eat through a bag far too quickly) by permitting one chocolate, but only if I was on my way out the door, and not coming back for more than an hour. I only tend to go out once a day, so that was one chocolate, and I was prevented from habitual repeats by separating myself from the bag. (At first, I took a few more long walks too, which was a great side-benefit, but now I just eat fewer chocolates). At any rate, while no sweets on n days is an admirable goal, I don't do it on purpose.
The main thing for me is to stick to meals only. If I have the urge for a sweet, I put it on the plate with a little extra room about it, because it's goodness is concentrated. :)
I don't drink sweetened drinks at all anymore though, and did stop those when I started No S even though I still allowed "sweets". I didn't drink a lot before, so it's not like I had a habit to overcome, but when I started No S I noticed that I drank more sweetened beverages-so I stopped.
At any rate, with this "planned or no sweets" version of No s that I do, I lost weight for 3 months, maintained for a year and am losing more again now--I wonder if I only can lose weight from Feb-April? hopefully I won't have another plateau this summer, but Maintaining the habits of no snacks no seconds is what I focus on, and some of the sweets I used to eat didn't fit into the meals in the first place--but I wasn't deprived of all of them. And some of the sweets I used to plan as part of my meal I don't eat anymore, because I don't want them as much. Which is totally awesome. :)
Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I want sweets when I come home from work. Almost like I need to reward myself for working all day and a sweet just ties the whole thing together. The problem is once I allow one sweet it opens the flood gates and I just want more and more. After reading all your posts I realized that i need to make no sweets during the week a HIGH priority! I need to start a new healthy habit in it's place like walking when I get home, and just take it day by day.