Fell so far off the wagon that I forgot there even *was* one

Mander · Post by **Mander** » Sat May 19, 2012 5:49 pm

Hello again all! I think the last time I posted here I was all full of positive, wise-sounding thinking on the goals I want to set and how to set them, sticking to the plan, focusing on behavior, etc etc. And then the next day I seemed to just forget that the whole idea even existed and did not even try to follow the plan. Self-sabotage at its worst!

Anyway, I am going to try again. It's nearly dinner time today and I've already snacked my way through the day, so I'll start following the rules again on Monday. But this time I'm only going to focus on making it through the week.

Why is it so hard to change something that I have so desperately wanted to change for so long? It's bizarre when you think about it.

wosnes · Post by **wosnes** » Sat May 19, 2012 8:26 pm

Mander, start today because today and tomorrow are S days and there is no way you can fail!

Welcome back.

mimi · Post by **mimi** » Sun May 20, 2012 1:58 am

Wosnes is right Mander...start today. What better day to start than an S day?

Keep going and strive for improvement each day, not perfection. Give yourself credit for even the slightest bit of improvement that you make over what you would have done previously. Praise goes a long way - even when we are giving it to ourselves.

Why is it so hard to change something that I have so desperately wanted to change for so long? It's bizarre when you think about it.

Good question...I have often asked myself that as well. I think, for one, we fear change, especially when we have grown accustomed to comforting ourselves in a certain manner, and in this case, with foods we love. Two, we already know that losing weight takes hard work and effort and it doesn't happen overnight (like most of us wish it did!)...but we can do hard things.

I wish you the best. Keep posting and let us know how it's going!

Mimi

Mander · Post by **Mander** » Tue May 22, 2012 7:14 am

Ok, so I took your advice and decided to count Saturday as the first day. So now I have just updated my habit cal and ta-da, I've already done three days!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri May 25, 2012 12:30 am

Actually, when you really examine it, it is not surprising at all that we don't change things we "want" to change. "Wanting" is not supported by brain patterns of behavior except the "wanting," while eating is supported by brain patterns that encourage repeat behavior!

We have to make the decision not to eat when it's HARD to say no, not AFTER we've eaten and it's easy to swear off the food. Saying no when it's hard, repeated, as long as we are not eating too little, will change the pattern.

And remember, food is one of the most basic reinforcers you can find, so it may take longer than you want.

and if you read the article on the thread Do the Math, you'll see that it takes about three YEARS for the body to adjust.

So start now and keep going! Sooner you start and the more you keep going, the sooner you get to three years!

~reneew · Post by **~reneew** » Fri May 25, 2012 4:59 pm

oolala53 wrote:We have to make the decision not to eat when it's HARD to say no, not AFTER we've eaten and it's easy to swear off the food. Saying no when it's hard, repeated, as long as we are not eating too little, will change the pattern.

And remember, food is one of the most basic reinforcers you can find, so it may take longer than you want.

and if you read the article on the thread Do the Math, you'll see that it takes about three YEARS for the body to adjust.

So start now and keep going! Sooner you start and the more you keep going, the sooner you get to three years!

So wise... I need to copy and paste this to my daily. Hope you don't mind.

Good luck, and keep going Mander. We are here for you! Set that habbit!

Post by **reinhard** » Mon May 28, 2012 7:57 pm

Best of luck this round, Mander. May it be the one that does the trick for you and cements the habit.

Why is it so hard to change something that I have so desperately wanted to change for so long? It's bizarre when you think about it.

Because the "I" is really a divided being. There's the rational "I," and the appetitive "I," that wants something quite different. It's like you're siamese twins with a ravenous wild boar. And the way you train your appetite is the same way, basically you'd train a real wild animal: be clear and firm and consistent. Get up every time it knocks you down. As soon as it becomes convinced that you'll really do that, again and again and again, it'll submit, you'll have tamed it. So if you should get knocked off the wagon again, however hard, consider it a teachable moment: your appetite is watching carefully to see how you respond.

lbb (Liz) · Post by **lbb (Liz)** » Tue May 29, 2012 8:34 pm

Brilliant advice, Reinhard. So needed it as well. Thanks for the analogies. It really helps me visual this whiny little toddler appetite who needs firm boundaries! (Can you tell I have toddlers?).
I'll remember this next time I hear those two "voices"!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Tue May 29, 2012 9:41 pm

I don't know which is worse, the idea of training the wild boar or the toddler.

Mander · Post by **Mander** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:35 am

Having watched my cousins' toddlers, I think the toddler is by far the scarier proposition!

This is a very vivid analogy, though, Reinhard -- thanks!

3-0-7 girl · Post by **3-0-7 girl** » Wed Jun 06, 2012 8:38 pm

Because the "I" is really a divided being. There's the rational "I," and the appetitive "I," that wants something quite different. It's like you're siamese twins with a ravenous wild boar. And the way you train your appetite is the same way, basically you'd train a real wild animal: be clear and firm and consistent. Get up every time it knocks you down. As soon as it becomes convinced that you'll really do that, again and again and again, it'll submit, you'll have tamed it. So if you should get knocked off the wagon again, however hard, consider it a teachable moment: your appetite is watching carefully to see how you respond.

This PROFOUND. Love it

Everyday Systems

Fell so far off the wagon that I forgot there even was one

Fell so far off the wagon that I forgot there even was one