automated eating tracker

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Jun 04, 2014 1:18 pm

It's a bit ironic that there's been more talk than usual about other people not spending, because I have definitely hit a WTH cliff's edge. Getting sick nuzzled me right up to the edge of that cliff, and all my systems (except NoSEating, surprisingly) have fallen apart. I haven't walked to work in a week; reading finally started up again last night, but I've been watching a movie with the kids every night! And that has meant (or I've allowed it to mean) ordering them on Amazon, which knocks the wheels off of StrategicSpending.

I distinctly had a WTH thought yesterday. I was looking at something I'd like to buy, and instead of thinking, I'll put it in my cart and probably forget about it by Saturday, I thought, WTH! I've already spent so much on Amazon this month, what's another $60!? Yikes!

I'm trying to calmly observe (always remember Oolala's advice about this), and not FrEaK OuT! Mark it and move on.

So I'm just aiming for today to be green. Green specifically regarding: StrategicSpending, KidsUnplugged, and RaisingReaders.

Wednesday, Week 41
130.5
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: leftover lasagne, yogurt and fruit smoothie
D: meatballs and pasta roni
JustMoveIt-S(ick) Day
Still not walking to work. 3 more days of antibiotics. I just still feel exhausted, drained, and my throat still hurts (believe it or not!). So I'm not pushing it on this one.
StrategicSpending-N Day
Going for green! Going for green! No Amazon show purchases!!!!
KidsUnplugged-N Day
Going for green! Going for green! No electronics today!
RaisingReaders-N Day
Going for green!-- on this one, throat pain depending, I reserve the right to modify down to 30 minutes (rather than 1 hour) if needed (and still call it green) Update: Made it to one hour! Hurray!!

Kookie · Post by **Kookie** » Wed Jun 04, 2014 1:37 pm

Hey auto! Just catching up with your thread. You really do have a way with words...ever thought about writing a book?

Honestly, your boys sounds so cute. Favouring reading over movies?! That is testimony to your incredible mothering...

I hope you make a full recovery very soon!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:17 am

Go for the green, girl- I know you can do it! I'd just chalk all those other days up to being sick... so technically, an S day with spending.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 4:53 am

I agree with worth it. You need to just cut yourself some major slack here. Seriously if you knew how much tv & electronic time my girls have had since summer started you'd probably pass out. Still I feel like overall we're doing fine. Most days they're playing with friends or in the pool. Try to keep the big picture in mind.

As far as spending goes, are you still comfortable with 5 days of No spending? Is it moderate enough or is it causing you to want to binge spend? Just a thought but I know you'll get back on track soon!

Hang in there!

Linda

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:33 am

Auto, I agree with all if the others. Definitely cut yourself some slack right now. Yes, I hope you make a full recovery soon.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jun 05, 2014 1:40 pm

Thanks, ladies, for your kind words.
Linda, I actually think I was feeling fine (not binge-ey) about not spending on 4-5 days (before I got sick). It was more a parenting fatigue really--like before StrategicSpending when I'd take the boys to Chuck E Cheese just to give them something to do. So when I am tired and sick, spending money helps make my time easier with my kids.

I was contemplating this just yesterday. For 6 months I've successfully stopped some habitual spending that was eating up our income. Then stress and fatigue hit, and bam! right back to the same old temptations. Just like food habits!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 06, 2014 12:43 am

Thursday, Week 41
130.2
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: chicken pot pie, chips
D: creamed tuna on toast with peas
wine
JustMoveIt-S(ick/recovery) Day
Rested again. Good news, though--as I was walking to my car after work today, I actually felt kind of .... normal! I could envision myself walking to work next week.

StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear. Calculated out childcare costs for next Fall (my husband and I finally have our work schedules)--- $600/month. Yowsers. That's nearly double what we've paid this year. And we are most definitely NOT doubling our income, so the belt will need to tighten....in a moderate, sustainable way!

KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear.
RaisingReaders-N Day
We've got great books to read! We were reading The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket, and my 8-yr-old took it and read the whole thing while I was at work! He's started on the second one. Well, so that meant I get to start reading The Mysterious Benedict Society, which seems like a fun cross between Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and ... maybe Harry Potter? We're only done with the first chapter, so I'm not too sure where it's going.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Fri Jun 06, 2014 1:15 am

Hi automated! It's been fun reading your thread. I wanted to chime in becuase I am currently reading The Mysterious Bennidict Society with my 8 yo too! I am trying to anyway. Our copy is so worn becuase the older kids have read it several times. I enjoy reading to my kids to though have never been so structured with it like you are! Good for you. Next time I have a moment I will pull up some websites about great books to read to kids. The names escape me now.:0)

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jun 06, 2014 6:26 am

Yay--sounds like you're turning a corner health wise!

$600 yikes but now that you're the master budgeter, I'm sure you'll make it work.

So awesome that your 8 yr old is enjoying reading so much! You should be very proud of yourself for working so hard to instill that into him. We did start Benedict Society which was great but once again Talia got creeped out so we stopped.

Now we're reading the magical Mrs. Plum. It's really enjoyable!

Hopefully today is your last Sick day!
Linda

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:35 pm

That is SO cool that you are currently reading Mysterious Benedict Society, to YOUR 8yo, snapdragon!

Linda, I'll look up the Magical Mrs. Plum. Sounds like another governess story!

Friday, Week 41
NoSEating-N Day
B: yogurt and fruit smoothie, coffee with cream
L: PB&J, chips, peach
D: 3 beef&cheese burritos
2 margaritas
JustMoveIt-S Day
played tennis for an hour with my kids! What?! They loved it, we'll have to get some rackets this weekend (at the thrift store!), because the courts are super close and free!
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear! I will get paid on June 25th and then not again until Sept. 25th. Usually we save quite a bit less than we need to get through the summer comfortably. Last year was the worst: we didn't pay off our credit card from summer expenses (regular stuff like groceries!) until November. I think that was a big part of my motivation to do StrategicSpending.

This year we have already saved MORE than enough to get through the summer. We still do not have enough for our Christmas trip to CA relatives and Disneyland. We are about $1500 short. So, if we stay on budget (or even UNDER budget) through the summer, and then save from Sept-Nov. paychecks, I'm hoping we can come home from CA and start Jan. debt free.

Oh, no! I just thought of something! We're going to need to keep our expenses for Christmas presents really low, or else cut somewhere else in the budget, or those expenses will hit right when we need every penny for our trip. Yeeks! Plus, my 8-yo's birthday is December 21st. Breathe. Breathe.

And I already complained about our skyrocketing childcare, come Sept. Hmmmm. Well, I guess it's time to make sure I don't go hog-wild with spending this summer.

Oh, and a plug for what I think is a good program: check out YNAB (You Need A Budget.com). I think it simplifies budgeting. They have software you can buy, but without doing that (I just use paper and pen and calculator) you can get good information on their site.

KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
Sad Fail. Unexpected visitors from 7-10pm derailed our planned Benedict reading time.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 1:27 am

Ah, the long stretch to September. My husband still gets paid the last Friday of the month, but the school where I work now divides our salary into 24 installments. It's been a huge relief not having that loooong white knuckle last-week-of-the-month or paycheckless summer.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:01 am

I am really shocked that you don't get your salary in regular instalments! I don't know how I would cope with that. In the UK even school staff who don't get paid for the holidays get their money pro rata so that they receive regular money. It must be really hard!

On a different note - I read about a family who don't have many Christmas presents. Instead, they put the money towards a holiday or trip that they are going to take - an experience rather than 'things'. Could you do this instead to keep Christmas costs down? It fits well with your inspirational parenting

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:54 am

It sounds like you're definitely on the right track with your budgeting, if you've already saved more than enough to get you through the summer. I'm sure you'll figure out how to meet the rest of your goals.

Idon'tknow, I love the idea of putting most of the Christmas money towards a trip, or a special experience!

Heather

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 3:23 pm

IDK--great thought about purposely using Christmas as a time for travel. That might be a really great fit for our family, because we have a long trip to see most all of our relatives, and we tend to spend most of our travel money just visiting relatives....so we miss out on fun trips to water parks, or theme parks, or tourist sites, etc. I will ponder!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm, liking it, liking it, going to think more about this.

Saturday, Week 41
NoSEating-S Day
B: 2 brownies, coffee with cream
L: 2 beef burritos
D: pizza, salad
Dessert: brownie and chocolate milkshake
JustMoveIt-S Day
my husband and I took 4 kids to play tennis. It's fun to watch them figuring out how to hit the ball and get the feel for the sport.
StrategicSpending-S Day
Rented Amazon movie with husband last night--Lone Survivor. Bloody and depressing; much of it couldn't bear to watch.
Costco shopping and gas
Books! I spent ~$40 on homeschool stuff. This time of year I plan for the upcoming year and tend to go overboard. I will say that normally I spend hundreds of dollars on homeschool stuff, so this is an improvement!
Took the kids to Goodwill and we bought 4 tennis rackets for super cheap! This way we have rackets for my boys and their friends when we go to the courts.
KidsUnplugged-S Day
Lots of iPad time
RaisingReaders-S Day
My 8 yo really wanted me to read, but I turned him down so that my husband and I could have a few minutes alone tonight. In my mind, it's similar to not turning an S day into an N Day to "make up" for a fail the day before. I failed at RaisingReaders yesterday, but today WAS an S Day/night to hang out with husband, so I took my S Day!

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:23 pm

We do that most years now. It started with a trip to San Diego about five years ago. We did a few small gifts, including a 'beach' frame for a photo from our trip. My kids buy us gift cards for weekends away, and my in-laws pay our membership to a swim/tennis club for the summer for birthday/christmas gifts.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:54 am

Sunday, Week 42
NoSEating-S Day
B: 2 brownies, coffee with cream
L: big yogurt with fruit smoothie
D: 2 hot dogs, tortilla chips
ice cream and 2 more brownies
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-S Day
I spent most of my freetime today working on my "free trial" download of You Need A Budget (YNAB). OK, so I have to admit it is way cool and way more powerful than my slow-as-molasses paper budgeting. I'm just about sold already. It's a 34-day free trial, then the software is a $60 one-time purchase. I'll be thinking about it!

For anyone reading this thread that has been even a little interested in managing his/her finances more carefully, I strongly recommend the website. For free, you can get a lot of basic information that makes saving money a simple and straightforward and do-able prospect. They have a forum, too, that they claim is the friendliest on the web. Well, we'll see about that!!! Somehow I doubt it could hold a candle to NoS!

KidsUnplugged-S Day
Lots of iPad again today, especially for my 5 yo.
RaisingReaders-N Day
At least 45 minutes already today, and my goal was 30.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 3:17 am

Thanks auto--I'm definitely going to check out that website! Sounds like you had a good weekend overall. Good for you for protecting your time w DH. We've never been good about having a regular date night but it is always nice when we do have some alone time.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:19 am

Yes, that is good you were able to get some alone time with DH. It's not always easy, when you have kids!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:09 am

Monday, Week 42
132.something (can't remember now)
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: big yogurt smoothie, 1/2 PB&J, chips
D: spaghetti, corn, and toast
JustMoveIt-N Day!
walked to/from work!! first time in almost two weeks
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
still have an hour to log tonight--Success!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Jun 11, 2014 2:03 am

Tuesday, Week 42
131.7
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: chicken pot pie, chips
D: breaded cod with peas
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked to/from work
StrategicSpending-N Day
Oops--Fail! I bought my husband a golf card online, and didn't even realize until I was typing this that I failed on spending today! Bummer.
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
Still have 30 minutes to log

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed Jun 11, 2014 2:50 am

Oops! Oh well, I guess it's akin to finding ourselves mindlessly taking a bite between meals. Still happens occasionally but overall you're doing great!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:10 am

Auto, I just caught up with your thread. I had so many comments that I forgot half of them again already.

May I just say: BRAVA! It's just wonderful how you are figuring it all out. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.

I thought your "comfort" spending was very interesting as I forgot that most of my bad habits come in one way or another from soothing myself. Good to know when to be extra careful.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 1:40 am

Wednesday, Week 42
131.something (forgot again)
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: PB&J; yogurt smoothie; chips
D: teriyaki chicken and rice
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked to/from work
I have 5 more days of walking to work for this school year! I made it all year, with only a very few unavoidable exceptions!!!!! Now I have to come up with a walking plan (or other exercise) for summer. Simple, and sustainable. Hmmmm.
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
Continuing to love YNAB. I have a few weeks left on my free trial, but at this point I think I'm going to shuck over the $60 to buy it.
eschano, they have lots of classes (webinars) and pre-recordings (I prefer those). I've watched them all!

KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
Still have one hour to log
Update: easily made it
We have mostly been sharing reading (he reads, I reads) of the Lemony Snicket series. But finally we got back to Benedict's Society last night.
And for preschool reading, I recommend Knufflebunny and Knufflebunny, Too, both by Mo Willems. That's the author that writes Elephant and Piggy books, and Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, etc. My preschooler just loves Knufflebunny.
Both of my kids love Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I don't know why!

They want to LIVE in that town. It all sounds gross to me!
And both of my kids LOVE Alexander and the terrible, horrible, very bad day. Ironchef, in that book the boy always says he wants to move to Australia every time something goes wrong in his day.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 2:57 am

Auto: you rock! What an amazing accomplishment to walk to work (most days). I am envious. Even after these 5 last days, I know you will keep the habit going strong.

Overall, you are a poster child for me with regards to No S and moderation in general. You really dedicate, focus and make progress as a reward for staying your course-CONSISTENCY to sum it up. I suspect you are like this in other areas of your life, and I admire that. It reminds me that I if I remain consistent, I will also see results through the passage of time.

Here's to your upcoming summer vacation!!!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 3:46 am

yay, vacation coming! It is really getting wintery here, so I'm enjoying living vicariously through those of you who are heading into mid-Summer.

Thanks for the YNAB link. I've always been a pretty good budgeter, but have gotten slack lately while a lot of other things have been busy. I'm tidying up at the moment to get things in order to handover to my brother in law to do our tax (he is a tax accountant - we are very lucky!).

I've always fallen down on the "getting my husband on board" side of things, so I think I'll do the 9 day free emails, just in case they have some advice on that front.

PS I like that you keep forgetting exactly what you weight, it really tells me that you are giving those 0.1's of a pound readings exactly the head space they deserve - none.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 8:23 am

Great job on being consistent with your exercise!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 10:20 am

ironchef wrote:it really tells me that you are giving those 0.1's of a pound readings exactly the head space they deserve - none.

Hahahaha! So true!

As for walking during the summer auto: I think the best thing would be to find a new routine thing you can do. Is there anywhere you could walk to 5 times a week that has another purpose as well?

I love walking to work but as I'm a wage-slave I don't have the summer-problem

On weekends I love walking to the stores or in my coffee-loving days I used to walk 30 min to get to a decent coffee place, had my coffee and then walked back. Just a thought.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jun 12, 2014 2:12 pm

Yay auto! So glad your summer break is almost here! You should so proud of yourself for your keeping to your walking commitment. Being consistent with exercise is definitely not easy but you managed to show some serious persistence & pull it off.

It seems like you're pretty active with your boys on the weekends too so hopefully won't be too hard to continue to be active during the summer. You do a lot of bike riding as I recall so maybe that could be your thing? It's way too hot here for that but I'm thinking of trying to do small (5-10 mins) bouts of exercise throughout the day while the girls are home for the summer.

I know you'll think of something clever like you always do!

Also, yay for not sweating the numbers on the scale too much!

Linda

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 13, 2014 3:04 am

Thanks, everybody for the kind words and hurrahs as I head to summer!!!!
Yay! today was HIGH-stress. Couldn't find my keys, was freaking about my monstrous to-do list. Somehow survived (and thrived) through my to-do list, and I came home euphoric that I am almost done!!!!

I'm definitely trying to find a "practical" exercise, as you suggested, eschano. Tricky though, since I don't want to spend money every day. I'm still mulling ideas over.

Thursday, Week 42
130.0 (lowest fluctuation in 8 years)
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee wtih cream
L: oatmeal, chips
D: cheeseburger and baked beans
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked to work
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
Easily surpassed my minimum 30 minutes.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:40 am

How about MAKING money and offering your services as a dog walker to one or two families? Even if you only charge a tiny bit, it might be fun as well!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:42 am

Oh my goodness! What a brilliant suggestion!!!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 12:43 am

Friday, Week 42
130.7
NoSEating-N Day
B: giant yogurt and fruit smoothie
L: PB&J; chips
D: quesadillas with guacamole
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
uh-oh. My 8-yr old is having a friend spend the night. That will probably derail reading tonight. I guess I'll just read only to my 5-yr-old.
Update: made it

minimizer · Post by **minimizer** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 12:51 am

130! Yay!!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:29 am

Good job on the weight loss! I love Eschano's idea!

middleager · Post by **middleager** » Sat Jun 14, 2014 9:21 am

Autoeating it is fantastic to see you still going strong

You always seem to be improving your entire life which is fab.
I have picked up the old thread as instructed....
Good luck with the dog walking!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 2:21 am

Hope your weekend guest added some pizazz to your Friday nite... but not too much!

LOVE the idea about dog walking. I read a book where a women turned it into a career (you never know). Happy weekend!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 3:08 am

Saturday, Week 42
130.7
NoSEating-S Day
B: yogurt smoothie, honey nut cheerios, coffee with cream
L: too much pizza..yuck
D: ice cream
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-S Day
Costco for household and gas
KidsUnplugged-S Day
Free day
RaisingReaders-S Day
Date night.

Guess what?! I have my first client for dog-walking!!!!!! My neighbor has a cute fluffy white dog that I will be walking. I'm charging $5/week.

So it's a go! Now I have a practical reason to walk this summer. That helps my "JustMoveIt" system AND my "StrategicSpending" system AND my "ThisIsAwesome" system.

It's funny how excited I am to make $1/hour.

middleager · Post by **middleager** » Sun Jun 15, 2014 9:02 am

You're committed now! Fantastic. Dogs bond to whoever walks then the most so you'll have a creature who adores you too

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:21 am

Sunday, Week 43
NoSEating-S Day
B: cinnamon roll, coffee with cream
L: yogurt smoothie, 2 bags chips
mid-afternoon: chocolate milkshake
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-S Day
Nothing so far
KidsUnplugged-S Day
lots of iPad and laptop time
RaisingReaders-N Day
Already read at least 30 minutes; planning on more after dinner

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Jun 16, 2014 4:04 am

Great work on the dog walking. I love your new "This is Awesome" category! We all need one of them

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Jun 16, 2014 6:20 am

I'm glad the dog walking is working out for you.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:32 am

Hahaha, that was some fast work auto! Delighted you found a client already.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:04 am

Monday, Week 43
NoSEating-N Day
close one!!! My husband and I got an opportunity to go out to eat together. I was ready to just call it an S Day and gorge.

But somehow I virtual plated a normal-sized meal.
B: coffee with cream
L: mini chimis and chips and guac
D: spaghetti and toast
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked 45 minutes around the neighbor (not with the dog yet)
StrategicSpending-N Day
All clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
Already got in an hour, looking to read more once boys are settled down a bit

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:21 pm

Going strong I see--great job! Have fun walking that doggy!

LadyMay · Post by **LadyMay** » Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:05 am

HI.
I was reading through the journals here on the board and I am so impressed with your dedication. I am your height and age but have a lot more weight to lose. You give me hope though. I really admire your commitment.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:11 am

Tuesday, Week 43
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: PB&J and chips
D: burger and fries (and ate some off my husband's plate--fail)
OK, I don't think I can call today anything but a fail. I had "seconds" by eating extra french fries. Mark it and move on.
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked to and from work
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
All Clear
RaisingReaders-N Day
nothing so far....aiming for 30 minutes

LadyMay--welcome to the sanity of NoS!

Enjoy the ride!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:03 am

Well, not the worst fail auto

Well done for not letting it become an "avalanche". This, for me, is one of the key skills NoS taught me and is no doubt the main reason I'm maintaining/losing.

I love what you said on Jess' thread about enjoying your holiday has nothing to do with how thin she is. So wise.

Have you read The Chronicles of Narnia with your boys?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:34 am

Wednesday, Week 43
EMERGENCY S DAY!

OK, it's time for a little "post-mortem". Yesterday was my first clear red day in almost 10 months on NoS. I would like to reflect on what is going on.

First off, there is a clear pattern. During finals week all three quarters this year, I've felt the strong desire to use food for comfort. December wasn't too bad because I was only 1 quarter into the schoolyear, and still in my NoS honeymoon.

In March, I took an Emergency S Day and in hindsight, I believe that was a great decision. This quarter, when I am dog-tired from 9 months of teaching, I didn't want to take an Emergency S Day because I had taken 4 S Days in May and (I believe) wanted to get to something less than 131.5 by June 25th. Mistake!!!!

Just like I should not "skip" S Days after a fail, I should not try to have a month of no NWS Days if the previous month had a lot. I was pushing myself too hard. I'm mentally weary, physically weary, and "habit-weary". And what happened? I cracked and have to 'fess up to an unequivocal red day. My perfectionism must be faced. Long-term habit must be king, and short-term derailments must not be blown out of proportion!

So, I'm doing today what I should have done yesterday (and wisely did in March.....)--I'm taking an Emergency S Day. I'm letting the kids watch TV, I'm going to drink an excessive amount of alcohol, and I'll probably have ice cream and popcorn while I watch a movie with my kiddos.

131.0
NoSEating-S Day
B: coffee with cream
L: chicken curry, salad
D: frozen pizza and hopefully ice cream later
lots of wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
walked to and from the restaurant for my co-worker's retirement lunch
StrategicSpending-S Day
this S was actually planned--a coworker is retiring and I was in charge of organizing the lunch.
KidsUnplugged-S Day
Power Rangers is blaring as I type.
RaisingReaders-S Day
Nothing planned, but I can pretty much guarantee the kids will want me to read to them later. I can't get out of this habit now even when I try.

Oh, and eschano, we have read The first 2 Chronicles of Narnia. We are a little ways into Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but we got slowed up for some reason. Thanks for the reminder, though. We actually own that series, so it shouldn't be too hard to pick back up this summer.

A student highly recommended The House of 60 Fathers to me. Not sure what that's about, but I'm going to look it up. Maybe while I pour myself another glass of wine.

Tomorrow is my quasi-last day of work. I'm done with grades, and now just have meetings and some other projects to try and wrap up (some of which I'm now wondering why I agreed to.....). On Tuesday my boys and I are taking a train down south to visit family. My husband has
to housesit for his family for a week, so it'll just be the boys and me. I'm really looking forward to it, believe it or not.

LOL, my husband just got home--looked around, saw the kids watching TV, me drinking a giant glass of wine, and pizza in the oven (that was NOT on the menu!). He is laughing at me!

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:01 am

Auto,

You crack me up! I'm sitting here laughing out loud about how your husband walked in and looked around at you and now my husband is doing the same as I sit here laughing and typing. HA HA HA!

Reading your posts are like a true glimpse into your "diary" and into your life. It's made me come to see writing my post on daily basis as a diary too (although not as entertaining and thought provoking as yours).

Enjoy your last day of school and let the wine flow!!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 6:27 am

Oh boy auto I'm proud of you for taking this ER S day! I saw that red yesterday & was like wow I think that's her first red day! I didn't want to say anything since you seemed to be taking it so well! But it's not such a big deal after all, huh?

I think it's good to ease up on yourself now & then. It'll definitely help with keeping your habits sustainable although you've proven to do a great job of that already!

So happy that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I swear it was just yesterday that you were saying you had 5 more weeks till summer!

So funny about your DH. Glad he has a good sense of humor!

Linda

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:24 pm

That post was a classic. Good call

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 4:19 am

Thursday, Week 43
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: PB&J, chips
D: beef macaroni
tough day, but kept it green
JustMoveIt-S Day
rest day
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders--Vacation S Days.

Taking a few days off from structure while we decompress and settle on a new summer schedule.

I'm thinking of a basic morning routine with the kids: cleaning, schoolwork, then outside time. In any case, we are leaving on our train trip Tuesday morning, so my main goal is to just get through these next few days without eating my entire house.

I think I had a collision of PMS with the end of the school year. Unfortunate collaboration of events.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 5:46 am

Good job on staying green in spite of a tough day! A train trip sounds like fun! My family went on a few train trips when we were growing up, and I enjoyed them.

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:06 am

Lol Auto! I love your posts.

Remember when we had this discussion about NWS days and you said there is no rule that it could be more than 2? Well, I think that's the biggest reason I bounce back fast now from my fails. It's made such a positive difference, even if it's not "fencing around the law".

Great that you are into the Chronicles of Narnia. I must admit I never actually READ them, just saw the films but it always struck me as the kind of book I would like to read to my children one day, if I'm fortunate enough to have some.

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:30 pm

That time of decompression is so necessary, isn't it? We did a full week here, and then hit the birthdays, so even though we've been out of school nearly three weeks, we're just starting to settle into a summer routine.

Love the idea of a train trip. We've taken two in the past few years. I would take a lot more if I could!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 12:41 am

Thanks for your comment, Dandelion. It made me feel not so crazy right now. Teaching is a funny profession: sometimes I think, "I can't believe I get paid to do this wonderful job," and other days I think, "they could never pay me enough to do this job!"

I am crazy and depressed today. I'm an emotional mess. I was yelling at both my kids--driving them so hard to get the house put back together after finals week. Then I said terrible hurtful things to my 8-yr-old--things I can't believe came out of my mouth (example: Why do you have to be so high maintenance? Why can't you just get along with your friends and your brother? etc. shame on me, believe me, I know). I can't believe that I could say those words, while at the same time knowing how horrible it is to say them.

Deep breath. So. I have apologized to him. I have told him repeatedly that I do love him (he swears I don't....). Ugh. Yuck.

On the bright side, the house IS much cleaner. Haha, life goes on, even after you have a day of being the worst parent ever--you still have to have clean dishes and clothes.

OK, so I know this terible-ness won't last. Things will seem better in the morning.

Friday, Week 43
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream, yogurt and strawberry smoothie
L: hot dog, chips
D: ham, corn and peas
another hard day that stayed green, but I had to repeatedly push down the desire to try to use food to make myself feel better.
JustMoveIt-S Day
walked around the neighborhood for about an hour
StrategicSpending-N Day
medical copay exception
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation-Decompression S Days
The 8-yr old is having a friend spend the night, so I will just read to the 5-yr old if he wants.

My husband is gone for a week, and I thought that I would actually enjoy having one less ... human ... to be responsible to, but I miss him already. We aren't the kind of couple that texts/calls while apart, either, so this is kind of strange of me to miss him so much already. I'm fairly independent (as if regular readers would be surprised by that).

I think I'm just a bit fragile emotionally right now.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 1:15 am

((HUGS)) You are a fantastic mom, so try not to beat yourself up too much. I have been there, on saying things I regretted to my kids, so I completely understand. Being a parent is hard, sometimes. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 2:13 am

*hugs*hugs*hugs* auto!

You know I can relate all too well. I've said much worse things to my daughter. it's so hard but in that moment of intense stress, unthinkable things just spill out sometimes. It feels awful I know but apologizing immediately really does seem to be enough.

Kids are extremely resilient & seem to be able to allow for some crazy mommy moments. Especially since you know 99% of the time you are treating them with love. You have to believe it's enough. You are human & it's okay to make mistakes.

I also can relate not having my DH around. It's always a bit of an adjustment with my kids with a big change of schedule or when DH first goes away. My kids tend to fight a lot at first then things calm down a bit once we find our rhythm. It's okay, tomorrow will be better. If we lived closer, I'd tell you to bring your boys over & I'd pour you a big glass of vino! Hang in there.

Linda

Edited to add this wise quote:

â€œSome mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold togetherâ€
â€• Pearl S. Buck

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 2:53 am

Thank you, Linda and clarinetgirl. Those are all the things I needed to hear....I guess I needed some mothering!

>:jess:< · Post by **>:jess:<** » Sat Jun 21, 2014 4:00 pm

automatedeating wrote: I think I had a collision of PMS with the end of the school year. Unfortunate collaboration of events.

Oh, dear... that is a most unfortunate set of circumstances! You did amazingly, considering all that

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jun 22, 2014 12:27 am

Saturday, Week 43
Thank God it's an S Day
NoSEating-S Day
B: 1/2 a blueberry pancake, large yogurt smoothie with strawberries, coffee with cream
L: 2 bags of chips, PB&J, diet coke, apple slices
snacks/sweets: butterfinger, "giant" hershey bar
who knows what else? I'm feasting and it's only 5pm.
update: I actually couldn't even finish the hershey bar, despite being (weirdly????) determined to.
D: pizza
JustMoveIt-"N" day??
First day walking the neighbor's dog. His name is Cooper, he's a little white fluffy thing, and he is very shy. He did really well though, and I think enjoyed himself.

I certainly enjoyed walking with him.
StrategicSpending-S Day
candy at the grocery store
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Decompression Days still on
We are excited to begin reading the 4th Incorrigible Children book. Our library JUST bought it and we are the first to check it out.

These entries this week have been hard for me. Failures, compromises, lowering of standards, and some just plain ole' gluttony. Honesty isn't comfortable, but it's real. And I need to be real in my fall-apart-ness. If I pass through this wave, I will come out on the other side and have better compassion and encouragement for others that find themselves flailing in their quests for moderation and discipline.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun Jun 22, 2014 10:48 pm

Oh, boy, do I understand all too well when the stress just gets ya and the kids "get" it! The older my son gets, the more I fear I'm messing him up! But it's good for them to see us fail and apologize and learn the realities of life! You are beyond an awesome mom!

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sun Jun 22, 2014 11:15 pm

automatedeating wrote:These entries this week have been hard for me. Failures, compromises, lowering of standards, and some just plain ole' gluttony. Honesty isn't comfortable, but it's real. And I need to be real in my fall-apart-ness. If I pass through this wave, I will come out on the other side and have better compassion and encouragement for others that find themselves flailing in their quests for moderation and discipline.

Hey, everyone has their off days. When (not if) you pass through this slump, you'll be that much stronger for having pushed through the hard days. Reporting honestly and regularly when you're not going so well is I think even more important that reporting on the wins, so well done you. However, don't let things slide from honestly to self-flagellation: mark it and move on is a mantra for a reason. You've had some fails, but you are not a failure.

You've hit a glitch, you'll work it out and then return to your usual programming

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jun 22, 2014 11:47 pm

Thanks TL and ironchef. I just feels like life is slogging forward....

Sunday, Week 44
NoSEating-S Day
B: coffee with cream, yogurt and strawberry smoothie
snacks: tortilla chips, banana bread
L: leftover pizza
snacks/sweets: Reese's pieces
D: chocolate milkshake, tortilla chips
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-S Day
nothing so far
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Decompression/Vacation Days still on

Part of me wants to hate myself for being so strict with my kids the last couple of days; and part of me hates myself for not having been strict enough in recent months--allowing them to become so slow to obey and so quick to argue.

Today I helped out a friend that just had surgery. It was really hard, and scary for me. I guess I'm not much of a caretaker. My mom and sister are both nurses, but the caretaking confidence/competence gene definitely missed me. I kept looking around for chips and other junk to eat. Obviously food calls to me when I need comforting. So obvious. Such an easy diagnosis with such a difficult cure.

I ate pizza for lunch and then was looking for more food. Cereal, ice cream, whatever. I did at least catch myself and thought--easy, tiger, let your food settle. Sure enough, I felt fine a few minutes later.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 1:18 am

automatedeating wrote:Part of me wants to hate myself for being so strict with my kids the last couple of days; and part of me hates myself for not having been strict enough in recent months--allowing them to become so slow to obey and so quick to argue.

One thing that was told to me by a parenting help line when I was bemoaning getting my toddler into "bad habits" and oh no, I've ruined everything, I'll never sleep again etc was that you can always change course, but you need to give yourself and the child a chance to adapt to the new normal. Kids are smart, and they'll learn new rules and routines, but you do need to harness all your patience when you decide on a change to usual rules and boundaries, because change takes time. Once they understand what is expected of them and that the new system is firm and predictable, they'll start to come around. I know that older kids are different, but could you frame this as "we're all learning" instead of "they're being so naughty" or "I hate that I did x"? Just a thought.

I guess I'm not much of a caretaker.

Teaching and parenting? Sounds like a hell of a caretaker to me! Medical / illness confidence is perhaps a different kettle of fish.

I did at least catch myself and thought--easy, tiger, let your food settle. Sure enough, I felt fine a few minutes later.

Great catch! This is an excellent "in the moment" change of course and thought, nice work.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 7:16 am

I'm sorry you're having a rough couple days. I do appreciate your honesty & your willingness to show you have a vulnerable side too.

I want to say don't be so hard on yourself about your parenting but I do it too. I think it's just because we love them so dang much & want to do everything we can to give them a good & happy life. You are a good mom though so try to remember that.

Linda

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 12:53 pm

Auto, I'd say you are doing much better than you think you are. It's hard with two kids, especially when your husband is away. (How single mothers do it I do not know- they deserve medals!).

Thank you for the personal finance link. I went through their method and really like it, especially the fourth rule.

Also, I just emerged from the worst weekend in a very very long time. Guess what? We're all human. You just finished your school year - chances are you are exhausted and now it comes out. For me, stress comes out when I finally can relax. I am so much worse as a person when I am exhausted and even that gets forgiven. You're a great mum and one round of shouting doesn't change a thing about this. You'll figure it out!

And as a last, I was reluctant to post after the horrendous weekend I had but I think it's true that those are the most important posts because otherwise you can't grow nor can you see how far you got.

Added: I forgot to say that you had brilliant advice here from ironchef, Linda and clarinetgal.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 3:57 pm

That's good that you felt like you could express some of your challenges in your check in. I really hope this week is better for you.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:25 pm

Thank you Linda, eschano, ironchef and CG for your encouragement. I do think today went much better. Ironchef, as you pointed out, if I am calm and consistent, they will come around eventually. I had the same standards today regarding rapid obedience and no arguing, but I delivered consequences calmly. Man, oh man, my 8-yr old has developed an elaborate set of arguing skills that I am doing my best to dismantle (without screaming at him). I am almost ready to take on Linda's Anger Management System, but I am too afraid of all the massive fails I would have!!!!

Monday, Week 44
Vacation begins: plan--NoSEating as normal, all my other systems S Days until next Tuesday.
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream, buttered toast
L: burger and fries
D: (will be) ham and corn and peas
JustMoveIt-S Day
Walk #2 with fluffy dog Cooper. He did really well today. He is very young, but super shy. But once we get going, I think he really enjoys himself.

I had the boys with me, and Cooper didn't exactly appreciate having my kids zoom by on their bikes, but he started to get used to them. I'm a little sad that I won't be able to walk him for more than a week!
StrategicSpending-S Day
medical copay; new crocs for the boys for summer; bought boys lunch between doctor visits and shoe shopping.
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation/Decompression S Days on
We did read Benedict's Society today and last night, but no pressure on me to be doing this.

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:31 pm

automatedeating wrote:Man, oh man, my 8-yr old has developed an elaborate set of arguing skills that I am doing my best to dismantle (without screaming at him).

The downside of having a smart and well spoken kid?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 23, 2014 11:32 pm

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have OVER-encouraged critical thinking.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 6:57 am

Oh boy I gave up on that program but I have somehow gotten a little better so maybe it did help. I guess maybe the temper is just a result of being w our little ones 24/7 without our man helpers around. I think it's just a tough situation period in which we have to cut ourselves some major slack.

Anyway glad things were a little better today and you can always use that savings you're building for their future therapy bills if needed. (joking!

)

Glad you're having fun with the doggie. I Adore my dogs. They're always so happy to see me & they never talk back!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:53 am

I think it's fantastic your boy has great arguing skills. He'll be a brilliant negotiator - in fact, as annoying as it is it's a great life skill. Just sit down and explain when it's appropriate and when it isn't. Maybe you can even "negotiate" a deal, so to give a little somewhere so he feels he has some say? I am not sure this might be terrible advice, keep in mind I don't have children

As for the dog. If you can only have him for one week make sure you'll get a recommendation as a dog walker from the people (not kidding), and get the word out there. Free wordpress blog maybe?

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Wed Jun 25, 2014 2:25 pm

Thanks Linda and eschano.

Tuesday, Week 44
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream, giant yogurt and fruit smoothie
L: PB&J, chips, pretzels, apple slices, string cheese (on train)
D: pulled pork sandwich, salad, french fries
wine, decaf coffee
JustMoveIt-S Day
rest day
StrategicSpending-S Day
snacks/treats for kids while traveling (and coffee for me!)
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders--Vacation S Days

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:20 pm

Wednesday, Week 44
NoSEating-N Day
B: sausage and egg casserole, coffee with cream
L: piece of pizza and french fries (at Water Park)
D: lasagne, salad, and garlic bread
JustMoveIt-S Day
4 hours at the water park!
StrategicSpending-S Day
$20 on food at water park; my mom paid for everything else....
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
Read 30 minutes

Rough, Rough Day. My 8yo defied me in front of my mom--he actually screamed, NO! I won't obey you!
It was awful. It's like his poor behavior all came to a head. He had to sit on the side for the first hour at the water park as his consequence. Then he had to have a long talk with Grandpa that night! I cried much of the day. I guess it's really scary when your kid is too big to be carried "kicking and screaming" to the car. I can't control him physically anymore. Obviously I am in brainstorming mode to determine the best summer strategies for this disrespect. And for the short term, I've got to survive this trip.
Just FYI, Grandpa's talk focused on self-control (the Proverb -- if you can't control yourself, your kingdom will fall; if you can control yourself, you're actually more powerful than a king); and honoring your parents so that life will go better for you.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 1:47 pm

I'm sorry.

That definitely makes for a rough outing. It sounds like you handled it okay, though.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 2:05 pm

That's tough. My son was to big to pick up and put in a time out since he was three. He is a giant strong kid. It is tough and embarrassing to have those things happen. I think the fact that you were able to get him to sit out for an hour is great. It is amazing just how different my kids are. A strategy that works for one May not work for another. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. These things get better when we are persistent.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:37 pm

Ugh. I know that feeling. Just found out my kid hit Grandma yesterday and I tried to keep my composure, but I didn't do so hot.

Whenever something like this happens, I immediately think that my child is going to grow up to be a jerk and it directly reflects on my (poor) parenting. It's so hard not to continue to feel this way, and although how many times I hear that this was only one isolated incident, I still worry.

I know you did the right thing in your case, though. It sounds like the discipline of 1 hour fit the "crime" and was given right after the behavior occurred. Those actions make a recipe for successful discipline, but I understand that it doesn't necessarily make you feel better.

Hang in there- here's to hoping today is a better day for YOU and your boys.

snapdragon · Post by **snapdragon** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:41 pm

If there was a lime button I would like worthit's post!

MJ7910 · Post by **MJ7910** » Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:37 pm

i can relate. my 4 year old has been disobedient lately and it's getting very frustrating. all parents understand that kids are like this, i think you're just doing the best you can. hang in there

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 12:45 am

I think worth's post is right on too. Every single day as a parent is both wonderful & extraordinarily difficult. They mess up, I mess up. But at the end of the day we love each other and that's all that really matters.

Something DH always reminds me is that I can't actually control my children. They're their own people and will make their own decisions. You can really only control your responses to their actions so just continuing to give appropriate consequences is all you can do but it doesn't guarantee they won't continue to sometimes make bad choices.

Hang in there. Hopefully the rest of your trip will go better.

You're a great mom so don't let a couple of bad incidents get you down.

Linda

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:43 am

Thanks snapdragon, CG, worthit, MJ, and Linda. You guys are all amazing. The support is pretty awesome, and helps keep me buoyed through the needed parenting adjustments of the summer.

Thursday, Week 44
NoSEating-N Day
B: oatmeal with raspberries, coffee with cream
L: double cheeseburger and fries
D: mac & cheese; pulled pork; salad, fruit salad
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
Roller skating!
StrategicSpending-S Day
$30 to take 4 kids (and me) roller skating
resisted repeated urges for lattes
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
Read 30 minutes

Today was better with my 8 yo. However, he did have a very pouty/ungrateful morning. Believe me, I've been contemplating the issues. I see a few trends.
1. My kids see themselves as equal in authority to me. They see their input as equally "wise" as mine in most situations. Extremes aside, I do truly believe that parents have greater life wisdom. I have encouraged this problem and brought it upon myself. Correction of course needed.
2. My kids, like most children, are self-centered. This is not unusual but needs parenting to correct, gradually, over time. So far, by catering to so many of their whims and desires, I am not helping bring them along on the path toward thinking of others and not just themselves. Again, extremes aside, I believe it is valuable for humans to think not just of themselves.
3. My kids have very little work ethic. Yes, they have a few chores, but they do not really have any concept of a work ethic at this point. Once again, extremes aside, I believe that children that know how to work are happier and healthier -- emotionally, physically, and spiritually -- than those that have too much given to them and done for them.

So, plans of action are fomenting. Lots of ideas are percolating, but I must be honest and admit that I am still very emotional about all of this and not in the frame of mind for establishing any new habits. Right now, I think just observing the issues and considering my end goals is crucial. Then I can form a plan with my short and long-term goals.

Onward.

worth it · Post by **worth it** » Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:06 pm

Auto,

I truly admire your self awareness.

As I read through your post, I was thinking about what my dad always says: "In order to know how good it feels to win, you have to know how it feels to lose." While not exactly applicable to what you are facing, it reminds me about the celebration of the yin and yang.

I know whatever you decide in the end will be carefully considered with this in mind- you are already practicing moderation in so many areas of your life already!

p.s. did you say roller-skating? LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. We don't have a rink around here anymore and I'm so envious!

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:26 am

Hi worthit--Thanks for the encouragement! And yes, I too LOVE LOVE roller-skating.

Friday, Week 44
NoSEating-S Day
B: coffee with cream
L: PB&J, chips, pretzels, apple slices
D: burger, fries, fried breaded onion appetizer (went out to dinner with my sister)
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
swimming with kids
StrategicSpending-S Day
$25 for swim pass; $6 for dinner (we had a gift certificate from my parents!)
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
Read an hour (wow, surprised we fit that much in)

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:02 am

I don't know if it is any comfort, but in my husband's family none of the kids had chores growing up, and they were babied in a lot of ways that I thought were amazing when I met him (and his brother and sister). My husband's mother still made brown-bagged lunches for him when he was 19! None of the kids even knew where the iron was in that house. However, all of them have become successful, hard working, thoughtful and compassionate adults. Of course there were a few (necessary) bumps in the road for my husband when he first moved out of home, and realised that his flat mates weren't going to do his dishes! His sister used to go to the grandparents' house for dinner, because she couldn't do much beyond boiling an egg. But that is all long forgotten and laughed over now. My explanation is that role models mattered most in the end. My husband's parents (and grandparents) are energetic, hard working and loving people who are dedicated to family and community, and their model has inspired the behaviour of their grown up children.

You're a great person and a loving mother (and go Grandpa!). You'll raise good humans!

[I'm not saying don't make adjustments as you decide they are necessary, and I absolutely agree with your points 1-3, but just that the tantrums of an 8 year old don't necessarily predict the behaviour of an adult. And there are lots of ways to be a good parent.]

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:52 am

I love that post iron. Basically I think it's saying there's many ways to raise great kids & we should worry less about doing it perfectly and try to enjoy them more.

Btw, auto thank you so much for your kind words on my thread, you have no idea how much they lifted my spirits.

Linda

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:45 am

lpearlmom wrote:I love that post iron. Basically I think it's saying there's many ways to raise great kids & we should worry less about doing it perfectly and try to enjoy them more.

Thanks Linda! Exactly what I was trying to say, but much more concise. Once I get babbling...

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:25 pm

He he no way iron I loved the details of your story. Totally made me laugh esp since I'm a pampering mom type. ðŸ˜€

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:31 am

Thanks ironchef and Linda! I think I could tell a similar story about my husband's family, as well! So you really got me thinking, because my husband is extremely ethical, kind, and hard-working, and his parents did most everything for him growing up. They were particularly strict about respect and manners, though.

Saturday, Week 44
NoSEating-S Day
B: coffee with cream, 1 piece pizza, some raspberries, a few bites of pancake that my son didn't finish
L: bowl of grapefruit with the juice--that stuff is good! couple of cheetos, another cup of coffee
D: 1.5 hot dogs, french fries, salad, lots of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries (all the berries are from my parents' garden). Yum!
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
swimming again with kiddos
StrategicSpending-S Day
$4 chipped in to talk my sister into renting Lego Movie.

KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
1 hour reading

Dandelion · Post by **Dandelion** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:46 am

Good insights. I had a talk with one of my kiddos the other day. I think of all kinds of errors I made raising him (from my viewpoint anyway). He had nothing but glowing things to say, which doesn't make me forget the mistakes I feel I made - but does help a little.

I do sometimes remind myself that I have two adult children who are good, hard working, kind, compassionate, responsible...blah, blah, blah. One is a - soccer coaching, brownie leading, chicken wrangling, wife and mom of three. The other is a thoughtful husband, successful business man, skydiver, and professional entertainer that brings a lot of joy to people all over the world.

The third is still a teenager. I have no idea what's in store for him, but I look forward to finding out!

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:15 am

Fresh berries. Yum! I loved reading all of the insights on parenting, since my kids are still young. Dandelion, I enjoyed reading your perspective on your adult children.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:10 am

Sunday, Week 45
NoSEating-S Day
B: french toast, coffee with cream, hazelnut latte, berries
L: pulled chicken sandwich, chocolate cupcake, cauliflower soup
D: 3 barbequed ribs, grapes, mashed potatoes, a big salad
wine
JustMoveIt-S Day
swimming
StrategicSpending-S Day
~$8 at Starbucks for latte and hot chocolates for the kids
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
So far, 20 minutes reading

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:58 am

Looks like a fun & yummy day!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:54 am

Hi auto,

Just caught up with your thread. You're an amazing mum - don't let anyone, especially your own doubts, tell you otherwise.

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Tue Jul 01, 2014 8:54 pm

Thanks Linda and eschano!
Well, we got back from our trip last night. I weighed myself this morning and I guess I'll use that as my "June" weight (it should have been entered on the 25th).
We're home for a week and then we'll be off again!

Monday, Week 45
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with milk
L: meat and cheese burrito
D: PB&J, chips, grapes, granola bar
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-S Day
$15 on train for food
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Vacation Days
Read 1 hour

Tuesday, Week 45
132 (I am on my third month of plateau...)
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream
L: 3 tortillas with beans and cheese
D: not yet
JustMoveIt-S Day
Rest Day
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear so far
KidsUnplugged/RaisingReaders-Last Vacation Day
Goals-- morning chores followed by up to 1 hour of electronic use; afternoon chores followed by up to 1 hour of electronics; reading goals--30 minutes

automatedeating · Post by **automatedeating** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:57 am

Wednesday, Week 45
133.5 (!yikes!)
NoSEating-N Day
B: coffee with cream, egg and toast
L: tuna melt, chips, blueberries
D: pizza
JustMoveIt-N Day
walked Cooper for 1 hour!
StrategicSpending-N Day
All Clear
KidsUnplugged-N Day
Summer Goal: kids can use electronics up to 1 hour in the morning (after chores) and then up to 1 hour in the afternoon/evening (after chores)
Yesterday was a fail (they used way too much); today morning worked, we'll see about the evening
RaisingReaders-N Day
Summer Goal: 30 minutes/day
Today have already reached that

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:06 am

Welcome home!
Your Summer plans sound good, I can't wait until my son is old enough to read him C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Madeleine L'Engle, Kenneth Grahame, Ursula Le Guin, Tolkien...

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:39 am

Auto, don't panic! I often go up as much as two kilos for a month and then suddenly drop again. Honestly, no worries. Often I find that my gain precedes a bigger drop. So I'd be on the upper limit of my new plateau and then suddenly go under if that makes sense.

Also, are you walking as much as you used to? Just a thought.

MJ7910 · Post by **MJ7910** » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:09 pm

I agree with what others have said about the weird weight gain/loss situation. i was back up to 138-139 for a while and recently dropped back to 135-136. don't think i was really doing anything differently either. it just happens i guess.

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Fri Jul 04, 2014 7:05 am

I'm sure it's just some water retention from your trip. I agree with what everyone else has said, it may just be a normal fluctuation.