Tobiasmom at it AGAIN Check-in

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed May 06, 2015 2:50 am

I've decided to start a whole new check-in thread, a fresh start!

In the past year I've followed a few different plans and lost 30 pounds......and regained every single pound. In the middle of the weight loss and regain I attempted No-S a couple times but kept being pulled back to the different plans, none of which I could stick to long enough to reach my goal, let alone maintain the loss. The thought of counting points or eating special foods or low carb or whatever for LIFE is enough to make me give up altogether!

It's been a battle for me for a very, very long time.... at least 25 years. My mom put me on my first diet at age 10 (jenny Craig). It's been one after the other since then.

I've had a bit of success with No-S in the past. I was able to get out of the diet mindset for a while and even followed it off and on through a pregnancy.... but then the scale just drew me back in and I let it dictate my eating.

I'm tired. So darn tired of failed attempts at losing weight. Just this week I found out, as I've suspected for quite some time, that I probably have rheumatoid arthritis. That's just one more reason I need to let go. I don't have the energy anymore to maneuver all these crazy diets. My kids need a mentally healthy mom. I definitely NEED to lose the weight, but I need to change my relationship with food even more!

So that's my first step. I plan to stay off the scale for a while. That is REALLY scary for me. I am almost more addicted to the scale than the food and dieting! Yikes..... So my number one goal this next few months is just to get the habit down and forget about the number for a while.

So here I am, World! I'm giving this thing an honest shot for real!

osoniye · Post by **osoniye** » Wed May 06, 2015 3:44 am

tobiasmom wrote:So here I am, World! I'm giving this thing an honest shot for real!

Yay, tobiasmom, good for you! And welcome back to sanity around food.
I have restarted a lot of times in the almost 5 years I've been around these boards, and a solid return to NoS and giving it an honest shot is all we can ask of ourselves.
I wish you the best!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Wed May 06, 2015 5:32 am

Welcome back! I started dieting at 10 too! So scary! I relate to a lot of what you're saying and it took me a few attempts to finally see the wisdom of nos and stick to it.

It took me about a year of nos to just get the habit down. I didn't lose much but changed my relationship with food from severely disturbed to a healthy & happy one. Once that was intact, I was ready to make a few positive changes that are making it possible for the weight to come off while keeping my healthy relationship w food/body still firmly in place.

So you can do this, it does take patience and I don't think you can skip steps but it's 100% worth it!

Keep posting!

LindaðŸ˜€

ironchef · Post by **ironchef** » Wed May 06, 2015 10:47 am

It's good to see you here. I know how pregnancy can throw you around, I've got 4 weeks to go until my second turns up

It really is possible to feel sane about food, you can do it!

DSTSS · Post by **DSTSS** » Wed May 06, 2015 7:55 pm

So glad you are here. Nice to have someone re-starting along with me!

I've tried a few other plans myself! Lots of ups and downs in my 55 years! But like you I'm so tired of all the tracking and weighing and measuring and constant obsessing! Seems like the minute I stop doing it though, the weight creeps back on and the old habits reappear. I need to do this to just normalize my relationship with food, and I love reading people's comments about how they have been able to do just that. Gives me hope.

My first round with No S I put away the scale, and only weighed in once per week. It seemed to work pretty well for me.

Good luck! Be tough! We'll be tough together!

Lovedby2 · Post by **Lovedby2** » Thu May 07, 2015 3:01 pm

Well hey there Tobiasmom!! I am so glad you are back from that scary world. I figured before No S I had been at this thing for about 45 years. I had made some head changes but I would also get trapped by the diet world on occasion. You do sound tired girl. I know that feeling too. Just too weary to keep trying...but the weight keeps nagging you. It is such a vicious cycle. I also lost about 20 lbs a few years ago only to gain it back. But, you are home now. It will take a while to get that head squarely back on your shoulders, but you are already on your way! So sorry about the RA. That is tuff. I just got diagnoised, I think around October, when I woke one morning and couldn't move my head for a week. Finally caved and went to my doctor. It has been ruff but at least I know what it is after 10 plus years of wondering. Lyerica really helped me. I know about the tiredness and foggy brain. The best thing that has worked for me is accepting my limitations and prayer, which brings peace. Btw, I too homeschooled my son who is now graduating college this Saturday!! Don't blink. They will be grown and gone before you turn around twice. Enjoy each moment and forget about those horrible diets that rob you of your time and focus. Whew. That was a long post. Have a blessed day.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu May 07, 2015 4:01 pm

Day 1: GREEN!!!
B: two slices sourdough toast with butter, coffee with cream
L: bowl of vegetable soup, slice of bread with raw honey and butter
D: two bacon ranch tacos (busy Awana night drive-thru)
Steps: 12,050

A green day! Yay! I am going to track my meals and steps for 21 days.... and then re-evaluate. I do definitely want to get out of the diet mindset of tracking all my food, but since I'm trying to focus on the No-S habit right now, I'm going to keep track for the first 21 days.

osoniye: Thank you so much for the encouragement!!

lpearlmom: Looks like you are really in the groove and doing awesome!

ironchef: You're almost there! Welcome to the world of two! Haha!

DSTSS: LEt's be tough together! Yes. We can do this!

Lovedby2: Thank you so much for the encouragement! Prayer.... yes! That's all I've got right now! And, yes, although homeschooling can be so overwhelming and frustrating, it is a HUGE blessing. We LOVE it. God has definitely put on my heart lately the need to be still and spend the time with them NOW. Not so many distractions, less internet time, less TV time. More time together having fun!

DSTSS · Post by **DSTSS** » Thu May 07, 2015 11:58 pm

You're off to a great start! Hooray!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri May 08, 2015 2:56 pm

Day 2: Green!
B: bowl of oats topped with peanut butter, pecans, flax, a little raw honey, and milk; coffee with cream
L: chicken salad sandwich, tortilla chips, baby bell strips with ranch
D: onion chicken and potatoes, broccoli
Steps: 12,020

I feel like a normal person! No obsessing. Just wait til the next meal and decide what I feel like putting on my plate. Genius!!

mrsj · Post by **mrsj** » Fri May 08, 2015 4:12 pm

Welcome back, tobiasmom! I too am back after a long time away. I've tried everything and just gotten bigger. I've committed myself to 100 days of Vanilla No S.

Hopefully this time around will work for both of us.

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Sat May 09, 2015 4:15 am

Great job! Your meals look great--so nice & moderate!

Have a great weekend!

Linda

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat May 09, 2015 3:18 pm

Day 3: RED DAY!
B: egg and cheese on English muffin, two turkey sausage links, coffee with cream
L: veggie burrito
D: 1/2 beet salad, a slice of bread, half my plate of gorgonzola gnocchi, glass of petite Syrah
S: one scoop vanilla gelato with strawberry balsamic sauce, 3 chocolate truffles (very mild.... but still not an S day)
Steps: 15,500

I had planned on a green day but ended up having some dessert at our Italian feast last night! Got lots of steps in yesterday! Amazing how just a few days without sweets makes everything so darn sweet when you have it. Really loving this freedom!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat May 09, 2015 10:26 pm

Tough news about RA, tobiasmom. Peace and balance as soon as possible.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sun May 10, 2015 2:21 pm

Day 4: Wild and crazy S day. Yikes! To be expected at the beginning, I guess. Wowza! I drank a whole bunch of soda... and had pizza and brownies.... and some stuff at a kid's birthday party. I feel icky and bloated this morning.... Onward!

Day 5: S Day (not as wild but still way overate)
B: Noosa yogurt with pecans, coffee with cream
L: chips, salsa, beef taquitos, beans, rice, SODA x 2
S: two scoop pralines and cream ice cream sundae
D: leftover gnocchi
Steps: 6,000 (lazy Sunday)

I am playing with the idea of Friday evening and Saturday S days.... but it seems that I sometimes struggle to not have an S day on Sunday too. But this Sunday was Mother's Day so I splurged and just counted Friday as a fail. Gonna have to think on that one. Maybe stick with Sat and Sun. Who knows..... Ready for 3 plates tomorrow.

Oolala: Thanks for the support. There's a lot involved for now because we are just in the diagnosing stages. But in the meantime... sanity and balance with No-S is what I desperately need!!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon May 11, 2015 1:45 pm

New check-in! I like your summary up on top too as it's useful to be reminded of other people's journey sometimes.

S days - leave them alone

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Wed May 13, 2015 3:10 am

Day 6: red. Day 7: red

Wanna know why they are red?? My mind!!! Ask me how I already jumped ship back to my old dieting head after 5 days?! Yikes!! You know what did it? I got on the darn scale after two S days....and it freaked me out. No more scale.

Very emotional day. So much of the past was brought up today in a 3-hour conversation I had with a family member. It really did get to me....but I'm hanging in there!!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Wed May 13, 2015 8:34 am

Oh dear. Do hang in there. I always find it much harder on emotionally triggering days!

And yes, hide the scales.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Wed May 13, 2015 12:23 pm

You can do this! Just do today! I'm back here too! It just makes sense. Let's do today!

Imogen Morley · Post by **Imogen Morley** » Thu May 14, 2015 12:53 pm

How are you doing today, tobiasmom? Your comment about diet-head rearing its ugly head resonated with me. I'm struggling with it, too. It's hard to fully commit and trust the process, giving time and good habits chance to do their job. But we can do it!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Fri May 15, 2015 2:04 pm

So I pretty much had a RED week. But I feel like I'm making changes slowly but surely. Yesterday I only had a few things. I didn't binge, which is a huge thing for me. Actually, I haven't binged all week, despite some very tough emotional things that came up.

I plan to continue on and just eat my three plates today and hopefully two sane S days this weekend. Next week my goal is to have some GREEN!!

Thank you for the support, everybody! I really enjoy the company around here

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Mon May 18, 2015 8:52 am

Not bingeing is huge! Well done. It's not about failing, really, but it is about the WTH effect. Well done for not giving in.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:34 pm

Well, I'm here. This past month... or even past year or so... I've had some health problems. It's escalated now. They took 14 vials of blood yesterday.... ya, both arms! My thyroid gland is swollen, my joints hurt horribly, I can barely stay awake, and I'm eating everything in sight! Sucks. I have thought I had rheumatoid arthritis, but I guess Hashimoto's and possibly lupus or Sjogren's are more likely. We will see.

In the meantime, the most important thing is to start treating this worn out body better. Three plates. Get off the sugar on N days. No binging all day. It has done nothing but make things worse.

That's where I am. Sounds depressing, I know. But it's the truth. I almost feel rock bottom. That means I have nowhere else to go but up, right?

Gotta get my health back for my boys and for ME!

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Fri Jun 12, 2015 4:08 am

So sorry tobiasmom! Sounds really tough but I admire your attitude. Sometimes we do need those wake up calls to make the big changes in our life that we need to.

Best of luck

Linda

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 12:21 am

Well, I've kind of let the stress get to me. I found out today that the ultrasound of my thyroid showed nodules that need biopsied. One of my lupus tests was also positive. The good news is we are moving in the right direction of figuring out all this stuff.... and I just need to treat my body better! I have been putting in an effort.... but most days I let my emotions take over and give in. I want to live life. I want to enjoy my food.... just less of it and the right amount of sweets (waaaaay less)!

So I'm still here. I think I can....I think I can....I think I can.....

clarinetgal · Post by **clarinetgal** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 7:23 am

I have some health issues of my own, so I feel for you! I imagine sticking to 3 plates of food and cutting way back on sugar will be a great start. Good luck to you!

eschano · Post by **eschano** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 8:53 am

God, that sounds hard! I wish you all the strength to deal with this and I think you're right- figuring out what it is is a great first step.

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Tue Jun 23, 2015 11:24 am

Wow! That sounds hard. Please do take care of yourself as best you can. Are you able to identify other ways to help with the stress? I always think "warm" when I think of stress relievers: warm shower or bath, warm tea, snuggle under a blanket with a book or listen to music. Things like that. Another good one is time spent outside. Do you have a yard or deck that you could retreat to? Or perhaps take a walk if you feel up to it.

Maybe you can make a list of nice things to do when the stress gets to be unbearable and put it someplace really, really conspicuous. (You could even make multiple copies) Then, if you're mind gets a bit stuck, you'll have a visual reminder of how to take care of yourself.

Good luck to you. I hope you feel better soon.

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Tue Jul 14, 2015 12:11 pm

How's it going? I have been thinking of you. I hope you have some answers concerning your health! Take care!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:41 am

Well, it's been another month.... and I haven't had the biopsies performed yet! Insurance authorization and all that jazz takes a long time, apparently! The good news is that I should be getting it this week sometime! It turns out I don't have lupus! Yay! I just have to drink some wine or take some aspirin daily cuz the positive test was a blood clotting antibody. After seeing the endocrinologist, it seems all my issues are either thyroid autoimmune problems or it's cancer. So either way..... I'm moving forward with trying to be healthy.

I got hung up on dieting again this month, especially because the doctors all scared me! But I realize that the dieting has gotten me nowhere for 20 years! So I'm staying off the scale. I'm staying off the dieting sites.... even this one too much! I'm gonna focus on three meals... no counting points or watching carbohydrates or taking pics of my meals or anything! Just eating my meals and focusing my ENERGY elsewhere. That's where my real obsession is..... the dieting part. I've gotta let it go.

Hope everyone is doing well. I will come check back in a while

gingerpie · Post by **gingerpie** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 11:25 am

Best of luck to you. Just take care of yourself the best way you can.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 4:02 pm

Who was I kidding that I'd be able to stay off this site?

. To be honest, you all are so encouraging... and I need that in my life! So I'll be hanging around here for sure. But no diet sites. No researching. Just eating my three plates and moving forward![/i]

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:55 am

YES!! I am definitely IN!

Let's do this thing. I am going to also stay off the scale for the next 30 days! Vanilla NoS.
Hope all.your medical.tests go well!! Keep us posted!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 12:43 am

I had two completely sane S days this weekend. I feel so good about them going into a new week! I'm ready for some green in my life ðŸ˜€ðŸ˜€

Things have been quite hectic around here. I finally got my thyroid biopsy of two suspicious nodules on Thursday and am awaiting those results this week. We also got military orders to Hawaii this week!! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜. There's just a lot that goes along with an overseas move, including giving up our pets ðŸ˜”ðŸ˜”ðŸ˜”. I am not medically cleared at this point.... But we don't have to be there for a couple months. We will see....

In the meantime, vanilla is the best way to go during all this transition ðŸ˜€

lpearlmom · Post by **lpearlmom** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 3:00 am

Oh boy that's a lot to deal with Tobias. Good for you for having a sane weekend even with everything going on in your life. Who needs stress over eating on top everything else right?

Hoping for the best for you during this difficult time!

Linda

jessand2boys · Post by **jessand2boys** » Mon Aug 17, 2015 10:07 am

You have a lot on your plate - hope all is OK with your biopsy!

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 2:18 pm

So Monday was a fail ðŸ˜. I got really emotional and just blew it in the evening. Want to hear my good news, though?? NO cancer!!!! I'm not quite sure what the nodules are, but the doc left a message that it was a favorable outcome. Dr appt next week.

I woke up thinking I should try some other diet cuz I failed yesterday, but I've decided to not focus on the scale this time and just try to learn something new each and every day. I know this habit will stick for life IF I just keep working it each day. Even if it takes me 5 years I will be better off than what dieting has gotten me in 25 years!!!!!!

So today will be better than yesterday. I guarantee it. I would also like to incorporate some walking again ðŸ˜€

ZippaDee · Post by **ZippaDee** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 3:08 pm

So happy to hear that there is no cancer! WONDERFUL!! And Hawaii...to live! COOL!! That sounds exciting!!

One day at a time! You got this!!

jessand2boys · Post by **jessand2boys** » Tue Aug 18, 2015 4:13 pm

So glad to hear there is no cancer!

Everyday Systems

Tobiasmom at it AGAIN Check-in

Tobiasmom at it AGAIN Check-in

Re: Tobiasmom at it AGAIN Check-in

Lovedby2

Day 1

day 2

Day 3

Days 4 and 5

Days 6 and 7

red week

hey

update

new start

Day 1

Back at it

Monday