Tuna Fish Sandwich was awesome.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_smile.gif)
Haven't had one in so long and it was a great option for me since I was getting tired of corn tortillas & beans.
Oolala, I read your reply on your thread (thank you!) and you were right about my job. I am a teacher, but I teach college, so my hours are more flexible than a high school teacher. I go in to teach my classes (and have arranged babysitting for those times), then get out of there as soon as possible unless I have requisite meetings that day or other only-can-do-on-campus work.
Flexible schedules are both a bomb and a bust, in my opinion. Talk about bringing your work home. I have no divide/boundary between my work and home life. However, that really ramped up 3.5 years ago when I became the Division Chair. I will finish out that role in June, and next year just be a teacher again!
My husband is supportive, but he thinks I need to hang on until next year and give it one quarter just being "regular" again before making any decisions. That's what all my colleagues and friends suggest too. I'm sure they are right, but it doesn't stop me from daydreaming about quitting. I have various options, I suppose:
*Quit
*reduce to 80% contract
*apply for sabbatical
*take a leave of absence.
Reducing the contract sounds good but my gut tells me that the workload rarely reduces with the pay cut, if you know what I mean. Apply for sabbatical -- I think I will, but it's scary competitive, and I doubt my submission of sabbatical work as "don't think about this place at all for a quarter" will be chosen, haha. Seriously, I should try that though. If I don't get sabbatical, I could, with admin/HR approval, take a leave of absence for up to a year without losing my job.
I absolutely think that even though my kids are 12 and 8 right now, that I am experiencing a similar emotional pull to stay at home and nest that new moms do. Most likely because I homeschooling one of them and the juggle has gotten wild(er); and also because like oolala said, I am keenly aware of the needs of tweens and I want to be emotionally present and available for my kiddos as they go through adolescence and high school.
On top of everything is the guilt that I am letting my co-workers down by not being on campus 40 hours a week right now. Many of them have issues they want to talk about (but don't feel comfortable putting in an email), so when I do show up, they swamp me and I know they must have been looking for me earlier..... that's not fair to them. Everybody else is crunched too.
I think a reasonable approach is to:
a) begin living more frugally NOW, before the consequences of overspending on any given month hurt us (aha, maybe a reopening of my old system, NoSpending?)
b) Put aside the freaking guilt for the rest of this quarter. Over the course of my time at this job, I have had so many 60 hour weeks it's crazy. And some 80 hour ones, too. So my colleagues can handle 4 more weeks of not having me super accessible (they can always email and I respond in minutes!)
c) Depend on my husband's flexibility next quarter to save the day. He will only be teaching afternoons/evenings next quarter so HE can be the one at home with our homeschooled son in the day! I can get the basic homeschooling done by 10am and then head in for the rest of the day.
d) Apply for sabbatical next fall -- if I get it, it isn't until the following year (2020), though. Actually, maybe I can start working on my application right now!! That might provide some satisfaction for the part of me that likes daydreaming about getting a break from this place.
e) If I don't get sabbatical, I can talk with my boss and HR to plan for a leave of absence (2019 or 2020). They won't like it (who can blame them?) but I think I can talk them into it. My leave could be up to a year, but maybe by then I will not feel as crazy like I need a whole year.
In closing, since this is not just my personal journal but others do sometimes read it, I apologize if I sound very much like a complainer or that I take for granted my wonderful life. But I have always loved this thread of mine, it's such a joy to have a place to vent. And when I last came back to the thread more regularly, I LOVED reading back through from the beginning and seeing how my life changed and my kids changed, etc. I like this record, I guess. Even though I leave off names and specifics, in a way that kind of forces me to get to the gist of what's bothering me instead of giving inordinate amounts of details!