idon'tknow's check in

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:01 pm

Just a point of information: scientists have found that MOST people's automatic thoughts lean towards the negative. I just say this because so many people say this about themselves as if it is a character flaw. It's a very human one, if you want to call it that. Most of the thoughts have nothing to do with what is true at the moment. I agree it's worth the effort to distance ourselves from them.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:06 am

Thank you Oolala and KCCC. I will definitely check out the podcasts. I know that when I first started No S the mantra of 'I don't eat... on N days' really helped me to maintain the habits so some postiive self-talk would be helpful.
Oolala - I think your post about willpower on the main board is very timely. I know my negative chatter is there in the background, and focussing on habit would help me to ignore it instead of using it as an excuse to eat.
Looking back at my habitcal I can see that October, November and December are peppered with red days. I had a full green week at the beginning of November, and then again the first week in January. Whatever the reasons for this - I have definitely lost the habits I built up over the summer.
Plan of action: listen to the podcasts, reread the information, focus on habits, positive self-talk to boost the habits.

Thank you again - you are both always helpful and supportive.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:10 am

133.8lbs

Ok - enough of the whining and whingeing. When I really looked at my habitcal I was shocked to realise that I haven't been following the rules consistently for quite a while. Today is a fresh start - vanilla No S for 21 days is my goal.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:10 pm

Success today.
B - grapes, porridge
L - ham/tomato sandwich/yogurt/satsumas
D - roast beef/oven chips/onion rings/peas/bread

A long day - breakfast at 7, lunch at 1pm, dinner at 8.15. Lots of chocolates at the meeting this afternoon, but I just passed them on to the next person.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:08 pm

132.4lbs

Success
B - grapes/porridge
L - sandwich/fruit/yogurt
D - tuna and pasta bake/slice of cheese and onion bread

A good day where I achieved a lot. I'm in danger of being overwhelmed at work though. High levels of staff absence and no admin support are not a good combination. I need to remember my one word resolution - attention - so that I don't skip from one thing to another in a slapdash way. I need to plan and be methodical and remember that my family need attention too.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Jan 19, 2011 8:16 pm

132.2lbs

B - grapes/egg/toast
L - sandwich/cheese/fruit/yogurt
D - salmon with sun dried tomato couscous

Success today. Very difficult day at work and lots still to do. Sticking to No S gives me more energy to cope with the busy days. Sugar seems to drain me and make me more tired. Need to remember that.

funfuture · Post by **funfuture** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 12:22 am

congrats on your string of successful days - sounds like you are getting back into the swing of it.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:56 pm

Thanks funfuture - I was determined to get back on track this week and I have managed to do it. V pleased with myself at the moment.

131.8lbs
Success
B - egg/toast/fruit
L - sandwich/fruit/yogurt
D - spag bol

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Jan 22, 2011 7:36 am

130.4lbs
Friday
B - toast/fruit
L - pb on toast/yogurt/fruit
D - fried rice with pork
(A day where the cupboards were a bit empty at the end of the week!)

Pleased with the weight loss this week. I've decided to try switching S days around a bit and start them on Friday after dinner. N days will then begin at dinner time on Sunday. My non-working times are Friday evening and Saturday. I would like to combine these non-working times with a treat. On Sundays I do prep for the week: schoolwork, ironing, etc - so it would feel right to combine this with a return to No S. I'm not sure if it will work. Yesterday wasn't good because the treat wasn't satisfying enough and led to eating more chocolate than I really wanted. Next week I will make sure I plan for Friday evening. If this is doesn't work I will go back to the Sat/Sun S days.
Our wedding anniversay today - 17 years. Going to see my dad which will mean irregular eating times and a meal out.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:59 pm

131.4lbs

Weekend was a success. I restarted N days after dinner on Sunday - quite easy to do. I didn't eat particularly well at the weekend - but I'm not worrying about S days at the moment. I'm aiming for consistent N days

Success today

B - smoothie, egg, toast
L - brie and cranberry sandwich, fruit, yogurt
D - cold meat and chips - a Monday staple with leftovers from Sunday

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:57 pm

130.8lbs
Success
B - porridge
L - toast with pate, fruit, yogurt
D - pasta, sauce, bread

Another full on day at work, problems with the car, important meeting tomorrow where I'm worried my work won't be up to scratch. I feel like I'm working 5 minutes ahead of myself at the moment. Everything seems to take so long and I have no time for anyone/anything else. Not good, but I can't see a way out at the moment. Tired.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:15 pm

Hang in there.

I know the feeling you're describing all too well. Here are some strategies that help me...

Breathe. Deep, mindful breaths, at least 5. Try to do that several times a day. (I think the oxygen helps, and it's mentally steadying.)

Find something to enjoy, no matter how small. This fall, when my life was falling apart, the short walk from my car to my office was it - the trees were just gorgeous, and I drank them in and focused on them as I walked.

If you're skipping across your to-do list and not accomplishing much, pick up ANYTHING and give it an hour. Then choose whether to continue or pick something else. The energy boost from actual accomplishment helps a lot.

Attend to health basics. Eat well, get sleep, try to exercise (the "three-legged foundation" to me). But gently - good food you like, exercise that restores you, etc.

Remind yourself that you are doing your best, and celebrate every accomplishment. The "not enough" feelings can be so overwhelming ("I'm not doing enough, I'm not talented enough, I'm not .... enough") and the way to combat them is to focus on the positives in life.

Accept help. Even ask for it.

Be gentle with yourself. You need an encouraging coach, not a harsh taskmaster.

Life goes in cycles. It will get better.

Best wishes!

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 8:39 pm

Thank you KCCC - you are always there with kind words and good advice. I was so tired and defeated when I posted yesterday. I am still tired today, but more positive. I like your '3 legged foundation' - I do eat well, but sleep and exercise are more difficult. It's difficult to stop and focus when things are such a whirl - but you are right - I need to calm down and breathe. Thank you again.

131.4lbs. Success today
B - egg/toast/mango
L - pate/toast/tomatoes/fruit/yogurt
D - prawns in chilli sauce

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:16 pm

1304lbs

Success
B - porridge, mango
L - pate/toast/fruit\yogurt
D - smoked fish pie/veg

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:38 am

129.8lbs
Friday success - doing the Friday evening- Sunday evening S days as this worked well for me last week.
Out for breakfast this morning - very moderate though. I knew I didn't want sugar or too much to eat and ended up with a simple croissant and coffee. Lovely.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:24 pm

Successful eating weekend from Friday to Sunday. Quite a lot of eating... but I'm not worrying about that just now. This weekend was a bit of a crunch time, family-wise. Things needed addressing and pulling together and I think we've managed to do that for the time being. We need to make sure that we work as a unit and pay attention to each other - we have been too disparate over the last month.
Successful Monday - 131lbs. I haven't really lost any weight during Januray, but I was in danger of gaining at one stage. I found it difficult to get back on track after Christmas so am pleased I've managed to do that successfully. I ended up with only 4 red days in the end. I know I'm eating a bit much at mealtimes at the moment, but I am focussing on habits. Once I have a 21 day stretch under my belt I will start to focus on what/how much I am eating.
I do need to remember my one word resolution: 'attention'. Life is so fast at times that it whizzes past me and I cling on with my fingertips. I need to pay attention to the important things - be proactive not reactive. I especially need to pay attention to family - my resolution for February.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:56 pm

131lbs
Success

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:15 pm

130.8lbs
Difficult day. I needed to stay at work until 8.30pm so I could collect the youngest girl from cheerleading. This meant no dinner until 9.30pm. I knew that if I waited until then to eat I would be crabby, cold and tired. So I built a snack into my day - toast and fruit about 5.30pm. This kept me going and stopped me from eating S's. My body is expecting chocolate - which is teaching me that I normally reach for sweet things on long working days. I have successfully resisted this today - so I am definitely calling today a success. Another long day tomorrow - school inspection.

funfuture · Post by **funfuture** » Wed Feb 02, 2011 10:20 pm

Well done, idon'tknow. Sounds like a sensible substitution for managing your day.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:40 pm

Thanks, Funfuture - it seemed to work well yesterday.

132.2lbs
Success

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:40 pm

131lbs
Success. Lunch was a big plateful. It was only one plate, but it was huge.
About to start my S Days - I like the Friday dinner to Sunday dinner mod. It keeps me going through Friday!

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:33 am

Time for a bit of reflection, I think. I now have 3 weeks of green days after really struggling to put the Christmas holidays behind me. I worked hard to identify triggers and times where I would trip up - and I found solutions.
My weight has stayed fairly stable through January, but I am 3lbs heavier than before Christmas, and 4lbs heavier than the end of November. I don't want this to become a pattern. I am sticking to the rules, but am obviously eating too much at mealtimes. This could be too much in volume, or in calories for my 5'2 frame. I feel bloated, heavy and not good in my clothes.
Exercise is reduced to one formal class a week at the moment, because I am so busy. Besides the fact that this is not good for my health, it also means that one class is costing a fortune in gym membership fees - not good value for money.
I have been very irritable this week at work and need to repair some damage next week. This mood could be linked to food - or coffee/tea intake - or just pressure.
This week has exhausted me - most evenings it has been 8.30 - 9pm before we have eaten - no wonder I am eating too much when I do eat. I am filling up late at night because I'm hungry, and at lunch I'm eating food I know will keep me going until that late dinner.
So - some solutions. I will aim to complete another 3 weeks of green days. That will take me to the end of Feb and will be hard at times because half term is included in this. I need to look at what I am eating and cut down on the amount and the fat content. Drinking more water will help - I know I am not drinking enough.
Exercise - this is tricky. I will try the 15 mins a day approach and will do whatever I feel like doing at that time. I'll also dig out the pedometer and see how many steps a day I am averaging. I will also commit to swimming on Friday evenings.
We need to look at our home routines. I plan healthy, balanced meals for the week - that's not the issue. It's making sure we are all in the same place at a reasonable time. Not easy, but I will work on it.
Work - I need a plan. The strategic stuff is getting lost and I am simply completing the basics to keep me going. I have my long term strategic plan, but I need to break it down into termly, half-termly, weekly and daily goals. I am getting better at immediately tackling the small but urgent tasks that crop up during the day, but I could still improve on this.
Lots to think about - but rambling here helps me to gather my thoughts.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Feb 07, 2011 7:16 pm

133lbs
Success today after a 'wild' weekend.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:32 pm

131.4lbs
Success
I am successfully eating less at lunchtime and still managing to make it through to dinner without eating. Dinner is still a bit over the top - I'll experiment with reducing the amount a bit at a time so I don't feel stuffed at the end (like I do tonight!)
I've come to a realisation that I need to take this way of eating more seriously. Sometimes I'm a bit defeatist and think I can't do it. Then I let go too much at weekends in a fatalist way - ie It's an S day therefore I can snack all day. A more positive approach is needed, with moderation on S days too - it is important to remember the 'sometimes'.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:47 pm

IDK, what helped me most with S-days is "positive mods".

I will drink enough water.
I will eat meals at normal mealtime.
I will plan something nice.

Those three mods really helped my S-days get both "tamer"... and more enjoyable.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:14 pm

Thank you, KCCC - I will definitely try that.

130.8lbs
Success.

I've been thinking about which food I really enjoy as a 'treat' so that I can make S days special. I am sick of permasnacking at weekends. I love good chocolate - (especially with a cup of tea!) - but it needs to be good chocolate - not the cheap, sugary kind. I also love mid-afternoon cake with coffee. 2 things to plan and look forward to at the weekend, instead of just grabbing food because I'm 'allowed'.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:42 pm

131lbs
Success.
Good day at work - the long slog and hard work paid off. And home early(ish). Lovely to sit with family, drink coffee and chat before making dinner (chilli).

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:24 pm

130.4lbs
Success.
Not starting my S days early this week. It's nice to have chocolate on a Friday evening, but it feels a bit like cheating. My goal now is to really nail the habits and I am going to follow Vanilla properly until that's done. So positive eating this weekend - 3 meals with planned treats that I value. Yoga class tomorrow, step class on Sunday. A well-needed haircut and colour tomorrow.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:52 pm

131lbs

Failure today. I always look back at my good intentions with a wry smile, because I rarely stick to them. The weekend was just like all the others - too much sugar and too much grazing - it's a hard habit to break. Today was fine until coming home from work when I was craving something sweet - and there was the downfall. Mondays are always difficult because it is such a long time between lunch and dinner - usually about 7 hours. I get very tired, hungry and fractious at the thought of waiting that long. If dinner was earlier I wouldn't have given in to the chocolate today. Need a plan....

On a slightly different note, I have persuaded my girls to commit to reading a book every month for the rest of this year. I'm joining in, too - my first is 'Oscar and Lucinda' by Peter Carey. Very much enjoying it so far.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Feb 15, 2011 8:30 pm

130.4lbs
Another failure today. The last week of the half term and I am tired. This is a pattern and I need to find a way of dealing with this tiredness. I know I feel better when I eat properly and avoid the S's - it's just hard to put into place.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Tue Feb 15, 2011 9:37 pm

idon'tknow wrote:131lbs

Failure today. I always look back at my good intentions with a wry smile, because I rarely stick to them. The weekend was just like all the others - too much sugar and too much grazing - it's a hard habit to break. Today was fine until coming home from work when I was craving something sweet - and there was the downfall. Mondays are always difficult because it is such a long time between lunch and dinner - usually about 7 hours. I get very tired, hungry and fractious at the thought of waiting that long. If dinner was earlier I wouldn't have given in to the chocolate today. Need a plan....

Would a PLANNED mini-meal help? Yes, it's more food, but if it holds you until dinner, it might be the best option. And it's better than grazing.

When I was first starting, I simply could NOT make it from lunch to dinner. I decided that I could have a snack (mini-meal) from a short list of reasonable options, IF I needed it. Over time, it went away, but in the early days that apple or cup of yogurt was a big help.

Good luck.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:38 pm

Thanks, KCCC. I think that would be a good idea. However, it may be that I just need to stop whining and recommit! This has been a big failure week and I have used the excuse of tiredness to eat everything in sight.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:48 pm

idon'tknow wrote:Thanks, KCCC. I think that would be a good idea. However, it may be that I just need to stop whining and recommit! This has been a big failure week and I have used the excuse of tiredness to eat everything in sight.

My basic advice... Be gentle with yourself.

If you are tired, telling yourself to "stop whining" seems a bit... well, harsh. What would you tell someone you loved in similar circumstances?

I find I turn to food for comfort when other needs are not being met adequately. So, paradoxically, being gentle can end up being more effective as well. (This is a lesson I re-learn constantly myself. I just recognize it by now.)

Hang in there.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 8:43 am

Hi KCCC - thank you again for your input. I think I am whining. When I look at myself from the outside, I have not been a good person to be around this week. I have whined, moaned, and been cranky and cross. It's difficult to know whether the tiredness or the bad food fed the moaning - or a mixture of both. I have had such a 'red' week - and not just a small failure each day either

. The way the school year is organised is a trigger for this. Just before each holiday there is a frenzy of work, poor behaviour, data to collect etc. This pressure leads to tiredness - which leads to 'poor old me' whining - and then I eat. It would be better to save my eating for the holiday and have some treats on our days out. So, as always, you have hit the nail on the head - I am turning to food for comfort when the need is for something else - just not sure what. Trying to juggle everything is a drain and I always feel that there is something/someone I am not giving enough attention to. The 'poor old me' attitude needs to go - it's not good for anyone, least of all for me. And there is no need for it. Everything in my life has been a choice - my job, house, family and I wouldn't get rid of anything that I have or do. So at busy times I need to remember that and be thankful. This will be hard though, as 'poor old me' has been around a long time and will not disappear without a fight. I've been wondering who my 'inner character' is - and now I know. She's no Miss Hartshorne

KCCC (if you are still reading at this point) - I always appreciate the links you give to other sites. I love the Happiness Project and visit that site frequently. I saw your link to 29 gifts and think this might be one of the first step in reducing the effect of 'Mrs POM' - as I'm going to call my inner character!

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:41 pm

133.4lbs
Success today. By yesterday evening I was sick of eating processed junk so today came as a relief. I actually didn't want to eat this morning until about 11am. As it's half term I'm trying to catch up with the food that's in the freezer, so I'm lacking a few things but still managed a less processed day.
B - toast
L - soup/roll/fruit/yogurt
D - jacket with ham/cheese/salad

Lots of water today. I'm trying to increase my water intake and reduce the coffee a little bit.
London for the day tomorrow. I will plan an S event as we will be eating out in the evening.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:15 pm

Hi, IDK,

I have a whole host of inner characters, though not as well-realized as Miss Hartshorne or Madame Bonnevie (Noel's character). One of mine is the "Inner Critic." Officially, he's banished... but he sneaks back a lot.

Just a thought... if Mrs POM is unhappy, perhaps you should ask her why? Maybe she's not a grown-up at all, but just a kid, about 8-10 or so, who feels overwhelmed and helpless? Try putting your (figurative) arm around her, and asking "so, what's the matter, honey?" in a really gentle voice, and then listening.

(And yes, one of my characters is ES, or Emotional Self, who I see as a little girl about my son's age, capable of all the incredibly annoying whining that a kid that age can do... and also capable of pure joy. The other characters are the Voice of Reason - rational to the extreme, rather Spock or Data-like, if you're a Star Trek fan- and Physical Body, who is mostly very quiet unless she's really upset by being treated badly. And they have conversations. Yes, I know they're not real. No, there's no reason to call the guys with the funny jackets...)

Didn't mean to hijack your thread. But I think that if you're using food as comfort, then you need comfort. The best way to get rid of Mrs. POM is to kill her with kindness.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:36 am

Hi KCCC - I always welcome your comments and insights, so please don't apologise for hijacking my thread. I love your inner characters and thank you for sharing them with me. Your comments made me stop and think about a few things, so thank you.

I'm having a lovely week's holiday. I'm doing some work every day, had a day in London, lunch with friends, and a day with my dad tomorrow. No S has sort of gone out of the window the last few days (again!) but today will be an N day. Tomorrow with my dad will be difficult, but I'll try to keep it green.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:39 pm

Whew! You didn't post for a few days, and I was a little worried that I'd crossed the line from friendly (if unsolicited) advice to annoying interference. It's sometimes hard to judge online.

Hope you're having a good time with your dad.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:32 pm

Definitely not seen as annoying interference! Thank you - always - for taking the time and effort to post advice and encouragement, and for making me think about things in a different way.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:13 pm

135.2lbs
Success today.
Some reflection and analysis is needed at this point. I have rebelled against No S for the last 2 weeks so it is no surprise that I have gained some lbs. The first week of rebellion was tiredness at the end of term. The second week was school holidays and lack of structure. School term has now restarted, I'm not as tired and I have found it easy to slip back into old habits, even giving away a piece of cake that someone left on my desk today.
I have 6 weeks until the next holiday. My goal is to really cement the habits over the next 5 weeks so that I don't rebel in the last week when tiredness creeps in. Weekends also need some attention - my eating is far too unstructured and this means I associate being at home with mindless eating. Of course, this spells disaster during school holidays. I have had good advice on this thread about sticking to the 3 meal structure on weekends, eating fruit and drinking water. This is what needs to be done in order to shift my habits in the right direction.
I don't want to struggle with no S any longer. I'm in danger of treating No S like a diet - and we all know where that attitude leads

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:56 pm

133.4lbs
Failure today. I started off well - a colleague bought me cupcakes as a thank you present and I decided I'd bring them home for the girls. However, I was very hungry between lunch and dinner. I've changed what I eat for lunch and it wasn't enough = failure

.
Hunger is difficult for me - I have read posts from other board members about how they enjoy hunger and how it makes them feel 'sharp'. When I follow No S properly I feel light and energetic, but I never enjoy being hungry. It makes me short-tempered, tired and uncomfortable- very similar to when I am cold. So avoiding hunger is key, particularly between lunch and dinner. That means eating more at lunch - which is my tactic for tomorrow. One step forward, 2 steps back at the moment....

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Tue Mar 01, 2011 10:56 pm

I'm okay with hunger between breakfast and lunch - that's when it makes me feel crisp and sharp - and even at 4:00. But by 6:30, I'm cranky as hell.

idon'tknow wrote:133.4lbs
Failure today. I started off well - a colleague bought me cupcakes as a thank you present and I decided I'd bring them home for the girls. However, I was very hungry between lunch and dinner. I've changed what I eat for lunch and it wasn't enough = failure .
Hunger is difficult for me - I have read posts from other board members about how they enjoy hunger and how it makes them feel 'sharp'. When I follow No S properly I feel light and energetic, but I never enjoy being hungry. It makes me short-tempered, tired and uncomfortable- very similar to when I am cold. So avoiding hunger is key, particularly between lunch and dinner. That means eating more at lunch - which is my tactic for tomorrow. One step forward, 2 steps back at the moment....

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:25 pm

Hi Kevin, isn't it odd how we can stand hunger at different times of day? I can eat breakfast at 7 and not eat lunch until 2.30 - no problem. But 1pm until 7.30 makes me into a bad person to live with

Success today. One extra quarter of a sandwich was enough to keep me going until dinner. I was actually full before I had eaten all the food I had taken to work, so left some - an unheard of event!
There has been far too much moaning on this thread and in my life recently, so I'm planning to add a 'positives' section each day.
B - fruit salad, toast
L - sandwich, fruit salad
D - prawns in chilli sauce

Positives - thoughtful work colleagues today. Funny, thoughtful husband.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:14 pm

idon'tknow wrote:There has been far too much moaning on this thread and in my life recently, so I'm planning to add a 'positives' section each day.

What a lovely idea!

(And those are big positivies.)

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:39 pm

Thank you KCCC - you're right. They are big positives - I am very lucky

132.4lbs
Success so far, but my lovely husband has bought me some chocolate. I've resisted so far, but I don't want him to think I'm rejecting his gift. I'm sure he won't mind if I leave it until the weekend - I just need to find the right wording...

Positives today - productive meetings with parents and LA this afternoon which will help to move some students forward.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:49 pm

idon'tknow wrote:I just need to find the right wording...

How about "I'm saving it for my special treat, and really looking forward to having it on Saturday?" (Follow up with lots of "how sweet of you" appreciation... then he'll know that he's loved, even if you're not eating right away!)

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:13 pm

I'm pretty sure I know how you could convince him.

idon'tknow wrote:Thank you KCCC - you're right. They are big positives - I am very lucky

132.4lbs
Success so far, but my lovely husband has bought me some chocolate. I've resisted so far, but I don't want him to think I'm rejecting his gift. I'm sure he won't mind if I leave it until the weekend - I just need to find the right wording...

Positives today - productive meetings with parents and LA this afternoon which will help to move some students forward.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:52 pm

Well, KCCC and Kevin - I didn't eat the chocolate. I simply said thank you and that I would save it until the weekend. We're both trying to lose weight and be moderate (eating in my case, drinking in his case) so he completely understood. Kevin - your implied suggestion would have worked well - I'll bear it in mind for future occasions

132lbs
Success
B - yogurt/fruit/toast
L - sandwiches/crisps
D - chicken and mushroom risotto

Braces were tightened yesterday so my teeth are sore today, which in turn means that snacks and sweets are not appealing.

Positives today - swimming and steam room at the gym with my lovely oldest daughter. We had a very good time - just relaxing, laughing and chatting.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:54 pm

Hey. Just trying to help, you know, from a man's point of view.

idon'tknow wrote:Well, KCCC and Kevin - I didn't eat the chocolate. I simply said thank you and that I would save it until the weekend. We're both trying to lose weight and be moderate (eating in my case, drinking in his case) so he completely understood. Kevin - your implied suggestion would have worked well - I'll bear it in mind for future occasions

132lbs
Success
B - yogurt/fruit/toast
L - sandwiches/crisps
D - chicken and mushroom risotto

Braces were tightened yesterday so my teeth are sore today, which in turn means that snacks and sweets are not appealing.

Positives today - swimming and steam room at the gym with my lovely oldest daughter. We had a very good time - just relaxing, laughing and chatting.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:32 pm

Thought I'd posted here yesterday, but it seems to have disappeared. Oh well...

132.8lbs.
Success yesterday. Failure today. Hungry today. It has been a day spent thinking about what I will eat next. The breakfast to lunch stretch was successful, but about 5.30pm everything fell apart and I headed for chocolate. Feeling tired and overwhelmed (again!) - sick of being so up and down.
Positives today - not much. It's been a difficult, fractious day. Is that linked to the desire for food? Probably.
I feel like I'm struggling too much with this at the moment and don't know if I want to carry on. I started No S for the second time in April last year. I'm about 14lbs less than I was then, but I don't feel like I have mastered these habits at all. Every day is a battle that I am losing. Not sure what to do - need to think round it some more.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:24 am

Well, after some thinking time and some sleep I know that stopping No S is not an option. If No S is a moderate, sane way of eating - why would I want to stop? What is the alternative?
The real issue here is work pressure. My inner child is kicking and screaming because there is never any time for fun - we just run from one thing to the next, and so she wants to eat for comfort. So, the next few days we are just tackling small things. We're going slowly and prioritising instead of running round like headless chickens. And fun will happen on Friday - we just have to keep calm until then.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:22 pm

idon'tknow wrote:The real issue here is work pressure. My inner child is kicking and screaming because there is never any time for fun - we just run from one thing to the next, and so she wants to eat for comfort.

Good for you for spotting "the real issue." Once you know the real problem, you're halfway to a solution.

And boy, do I hear that one! My inner child and your inner child need a playdate.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:09 pm

KCCC - my inner child would love a playdate with yours

Today was a success. Wednesday's are my busy day and today was even busier than usual.
Positives - good meeting with a parent who was very appreciative, a (mostly) positive school report for my youngest and very tasty fishcakes for dinner.

A much better day than yesterday. Interestingly, Tuesday last week was a failure, too - need to watch that next week, and ask myself why.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sun Mar 13, 2011 7:02 am

Reds Thursday and Friday. Clothes crisis on Friday - everything is getting a little tight

Eating habits were not good yesterday - I know I can't fail, but I can make better choices.
Re-read the site and listened to the podcasts for motivation. I am recommiting tomorrow to 21 days Vanilla. The only other option is gluttony.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:56 pm

133.2lbs
Success. Long day at work, but new week = new attitude. No S is surprisingly easy when the attitude is right

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:23 pm

132.8lbs
Success. A couple of big successes today. I was being trained - ie sitting still and listening - not an easy option for me and one which tends to send me to the biscuit tin at coffee break. But I successfully avoided this today. Later in the day the shakes set in - too much coffee

. I found a chocolate bar in the desk drawer and put it in my bag 'just in case', but didn't need it. The shakes went away and I was really glad I didn't succumb at the first temptation.
Today was an even bigger success as the previous 2 Tuesdays have been failures, so it was really important to make today a success.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:56 pm

132lbs
Success. Late lunch because I was busy, which turned out to be a good thing because I didn't get dinner until nearly 10pm. Wednesdays are tricky - it's always a long day and always busy.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:35 pm

132.8lbs

Success. Late lunch again - another busy day.
Had a long conversation with a skinny friend who is always dieting today. She is experimenting with some complicated protein for 5 days and then add fruit and something else.... I'm so glad that's not me. One thing we did agree on is that we feel much better about ourselves when we are in control of our eating.

Kevin · Post by **Kevin** » Fri Mar 18, 2011 12:54 am

Sounds like you are doing well.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:02 am

Thanks Kevin.

This week has been very good - successes all the way. Half a pound lost, which is good. But the real aim was to prove I could achieve a green week. This is the first one since the beginning of February. It wasn't difficult this week, either. It was easy to say no thank you to lots of temptations. For example, a colleague gave me 2 cakes yesterday which I wrapped up and brought home - they may be a treat later or I may save them for the girls.
Why is it easier to do that some weeks than it is others?

I'm on my own today. The old man is taking the girls to a cheerleading competition. I don't really like it when they all go out without me, but it gives me a chance to do a lot of catching up with work/home stuff. It's a 2 day competition, so it will be my turn tomorrow with my lovely mother-in-law, who I haven't seen properly for a long time. A good weekend ahead - if a little different.

tobiasmom · Post by **tobiasmom** » Sat Mar 19, 2011 3:47 pm

Great job on a GREEN week yourself!!!

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:32 pm

Thank you Tobiasmom

133.8lbs

Success today and yesterday. Saturday I ate too much chocolate. Sunday was more moderate. Before starting No S I would rarely eat between breakfast and lunch - even at weekends. Now I regularly snack at weekends during that time. It is really difficult to resist that desire to binge at the weekend. So from now on this is going to stop. All snacks and sweets will be restricted to after lunch - and each week I will push it an hour further back until I am only eating after 4pm. This will allow me to have an afternoon cake - which I really enjoy - or some chocolate after dinner. S days are not becoming more moderate on their own - and I know I respond well to imposed structure.

I haven't been keeping up with the daily positives. Today = repaired relationships with daughter's school. Think we can now move forwards.

NoSRocks · Post by **NoSRocks** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:09 am

GREAT JOB, idk! I am so with you on the S Days btw. Today I've had my first big failure on No S and I honestly think its because I am fretting too much over the coming weekend and how much over eating I will be doing. Stress = overeating. I was tempted to throw in the towel this evening and start afresh on a new diet plan, but I know its just nonsense. I will keep on with my No S plan and like your good self, I think I should try to plan my S Days better instead of the chaotic weekends I've been having lately, eating for the sake of it etc. I WISH I could condition my brain into thinking the S Days are no different from the N ones! But that is half of the fun of the No S Diet and normally telling myself I'll save such and such to the weekend has helped me get through my N days without a problem. I hope today's little slip up was just that and I can get back on the wagon again. Its really not that difficult - I just started to overthink it all again and up popped ugly old food anxiety ! What would i do differently if I weren't on No S anyway? My meals are pretty sane during the week. Granted, I could eat more produce - veggies in particular. But that's something that can easily be worked upon. sugar binges are far more 'dangerous' and I find harder to control. However, enough of the negative talk - I am going to think positive. I WILL get a handle on those S Days. My eating on NoS is far more controlled and sensible than it ever was in the "bad old days". Have a great evening, idk, and here's to a great week.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:25 pm

Thanks Roxie - I've posted a response on your thread, but thanks for your support here.

132.8lbs
Success. Sort of. Added a yogurt after dinner because I was still hungry. Technically I shouldn't have done this, but there would have been room on my plate for it. I know this is sort of kidding myself, but if I count it as a fail then the whole evening will be a huge disaster. Stopped eating after the yogurt - so definitely a success.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:33 pm

idon'tknow wrote:Stopped eating after the yogurt - so definitely a success.

Absolutely!

"Better" is a good direction, and should be celebrated.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Mar 24, 2011 8:44 pm

Thanks KCCC.
132.2lbs
Success today - and no sneaky yogurt either!
A fantastic dinner tonight - smoked mackerel and potato bake. Wow!
Lovely husband bought me chocolate - I'm saving it until Saturday. This is nearly 2 green weeks now - v pleased with self and determined to keep going. Weight is coming down too.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Mar 26, 2011 7:38 am

Failure yesterday (Friday). Only a small one - chocolate after dinner. I was wondering if to call it an 'S day slide' but I think I need to be honest and register a fail. It wasn't planned, and wasn't part of a special occasion so needs to be a failure.
So S days - all 'S's are going to be pushed back until after lunch. Then each week they will be pushed back further until they are only allowed after 4pm.
One more week of building green N day habit and then I'm going to tackle the amount of food on my plate.
Think I will make a lemon drizzle cake today - always a nice treat.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:19 pm

Lemon drizzle cake was very special. The new S days rules went well on Saturday, but not so good on Sunday.
Today was a partial failure. The big girl made me a Mother's Day biscuit when she was helping out at Rainbows today. It wouldn't have lasted until the weekend and she would have been upset if I had left it. So I ate the biscuit - a small one - and ended it there. No excuse for bingeing - so a success there.
It is also time to reduce the amount of food I eat. I was going to wait another week, but my clothes are a bit tight so it's time to cut down at mealtimes. Success with this today.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:16 pm

Success today
133.8lbs

Difficult time at work - redundancy risks for my team (not me, luckily) which is causing tension, stress and bad temper. Feel like I'm doing lots of peacekeeping at the moment - when all I really want to do is bang people's heads together!

Girls have just brought me cake from the shop. I'm not going to eat it - it will save until the weekend - shop-bought cakes usually do

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 1:05 am

Good idea for the cake. Colleague gave me a cupcake everyone else was saying was killer. They wanted to see me eat it. I told 'em it's going in the freezer for the weekend.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:24 pm

Thanks Oolala. I just wish today was as successful. In a long meeting this afternoon/evening and was so hungry I started to shake - that hasn't happened to me for a long time. I had to reach for the biscuits - nothing else available. The start of a slippery slope.....

133.6lbs.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:12 pm

Probably not. How often do you run into that situation? I think you'll bounce back.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:40 pm

Oolala - I wish I had your confidence in me. The biscuits led to a binge, which led to another failure day....

End of March - time to take stock, I think.
April 2010 - No S starting weight - 144lbs
May 2010 - 6 Average weight - 139.9
June 2010 - 3 Average weight - 138.2
July 2010 - 0 (1 NWS day) - Average weight - 136.2
August 2010 - 0 (10 NWS days - holiday) \Average weight - 133.6
September 2010 - 1 Average weight - 130.9
October 2010 - 5 Average weight - 129
November 2010 - 6 Average weight - 128.7
December 2101 - 9 Average weight - 127.6
January 2011 - 4 Average weight - 131.3
February 2011 - 9 Average weight - 131.1
March 2011 - 8 Average weight - 133.1

When S days are added to these failures, that means my compliance rate is about 50% since November. So it makes sense that I have slowly gained weight since then. I also had the bar removed from my mouth around that time, so started eating more at mealtimes as well as more sweet things at weekends.
It's not complicated - vanilla No S will make a difference if followed strictly. Small meals and moderate S days also make a difference - again proved by weight gain since November. I know I'm eating too much at mealtimes, but there are also various difficulties that throw me off track.
A big difficulty is relentless days at work. Days when my inner child stamps her foot and shouts 'snot fair' because she wants to play or read a book instead of working incessantly. That's what has happened this week. I found myself with ten mins in a silent room today, waiting for a meeting. So I ate the biscuits that were there. Ate and ate and ate - comfort food. Strategy? Maybe on weeks like this I need to make sure I have something to look forward to at the weekend. Not sure - need to think about that because the relentlessness is not going to disappear.
Another difficulty is my fear of being hungry. I hate being hungry - it makes me cold, shakey and irritable. So I either eat too much at mealtimes, or get to a point where I eat to stave off the hunger. When the bar was in my mouth eating was slow and hard work and I didn't get really hungry between meals. I need to make sure the habits are solid and well established once again. Then I'll look at how much I'm eating.
Do I want to do this enough to work at the habits? Sometimes it makes me wonder - I seem to self-sabotage so much. Instant gratification seems to be more important than control and moderation. April needs to be a success and this will be difficult because of school holidays and days out. See? I'm starting with a defeatist attitude. One day at a time and a reward every weekend might be the way to go.

kccc · Post by **kccc** » Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:48 am

idon'tknow wrote: See? I'm starting with a defeatist attitude. One day at a time and a reward every weekend might be the way to go.

You are right... one day at a time. And rewards (including non-food rewards.)

To address that defeated feeling...For now, set your goals at the "well, duh! Of course I can do that!" level.

You need the boost from success - it feeds into greater success.

What can you do to nurture yourself? Since your external circumstances are stressful, that becomes very important. In fact, I see your failures as mis-guided attempts at self-care. What can you replace those behaviors with that will be GENUINELY nurturing?

Some things that help me when I "don't have time" for most treats...Flowers at the desk, a nice bath gel or body wash, scented candles, pleasant music to work to, N-day meals that are nice, and include favorite dishes...

Sending best wishes. I know the feeling of "overwhelm" too well.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Apr 02, 2011 7:24 am

Thank you, KCCC. You are absolutely right, as usual. My failures are 'misguided attempts at self-care'. I reach for food as comfort when I am overwhelmed, fed-up and feel like I have no control. I would not have recognised that 12 months ago - so this is actually a huge step towards addressing the problem. Will think about this over the weekend.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:41 pm

134lbs
Success today after an excessive weekend. It's been hard at times today, but my mantra is 'I only eat at mealtimes'. Repeating it at difficult times seems to help.
B - mango, muesli
L - cheese/ham/tomato sandwich, fruit, yogurt
D - lamb, chips, peas, bread

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:53 pm

For goodness' sake - another failure today!

funfuture · Post by **funfuture** » Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:16 pm

Hang in there IDK - your summer is coming along soon and that will make it so much easier to stay active and stick to habit. A few pounds gained over a cold winter is fine. You'll get there.
fun
x

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Wed Apr 06, 2011 5:08 pm

Thanks for the encouragement, fun - especially when things are so difficult for you at the moment.
Beautiful weather here today - a real foretaste of summer, which makes it easier to stick to the rules.
I'm posting a success early in the evening. I know that the thought of having to come back and change it later will make me think twice about breaking the rules.
I'm stuck at work for another couple of hours because I need to pick up the youngest from cheerleading. That means dinner will be at approx 10pm, so today has included a planned mini-meal. That counts as a success because it was planned.
135lbs today (I need to be careful - I will need to buy new clothes in a bigger size soon

)
B - mango/muesli
L - half cheese, ham, tomato sandwich/yogurt fruit
MM - other half of sandwich/fruit
D (planned) cassoulet
A better day today.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:35 pm

133.8lbs
Success. A colleague bought me an Easter egg today and I really would have loved to eat some tonight, but I've managed to put it aside until the weekend.

B - orange, muesli
L - sandwich, fruit, yogurt
D - fishcakes, potato, broccoli

Lovely weather again today. The thought of fitting into summer clothes is keeping me on track at the moment.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:01 am

Failure Friday.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Mon Apr 11, 2011 9:34 pm

135.8lbs (tom)

B - orange, muesli
L - 2 fried eggs, 2 slices toast, handful of chips
D - oven chips, chicken, peas, bread, 3 onion rings

Not a healthy day's food, but all within the rules. Lunch was at an old fashioned cafe in town - the sort of place I would have gone to with my grandma when I was little. I was expecting the eggs to be poached, but no - fried!

Day a success - even though car failed its mot, which means another trip to the garage later in the week - and more money shelled out, of course

Grammy G · Post by **Grammy G** » Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:54 am

IDK, I just read the last page of your check-ins and I think you are doing a great job! I am inspired! You can't imagine what I would have been writing about eating over the same time period..and I have no job stress or any other reason to have walked away from a plan that I know works!! You've got other things to deal with and still manage to get three reasonable meals on the table!
Keep up the good work....I'll be watching!

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sun Jun 05, 2011 12:43 am

How's it going, Idontknow? Let us know what's happening.

idontknow · Post by **idontknow** » Sun Jun 05, 2011 6:44 am

Hi Oolala - thanks for asking. I started a new thread for my second year of No S. I felt like this thread was just charting failures and I needed a 'new start. This is the link to my new thread: http://everydaysystems.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=7528

I'm always pleased to read your comments - thanks for showing an interest