Habit reversion?

liveitup · Post by **liveitup** » Wed Jun 29, 2016 2:40 am

Maybe more of a general question but hoping you all can help!

Even after months of doing something I still can revert back easily to where I started. It can be really disappointing.

I tend to exercise for example for 6 months, thinking I've nailed down a good habit, only to suddenly and not even really consciously see myself just drop it like it's no thing.

Same thing with No S. So how do you all prevent yourselves from going back to old habits? Thanks for reading and for the support!

kaalii · Post by **kaalii** » Wed Jun 29, 2016 4:49 am

it is not a habit until not doing it is harder than doing it...
when not doing it feels like somethng is missing...
like an itch to scratch...
think of bad habits like smoking and you might understand what i mean - stopping it actually takes an effort...
or even good ones like brushing your teeth - after a while or even immediately after skipping doing it, it becomes uncomfortable, even unbearable...

as far as exercise is concerned: for me it is not exercise itself that i have a habit of doing...
but after my whole life, and especially at university and for years after graduating, of doing contemporary dance, theatre, flow arts... through which yoga came as a useful tool, too... and then with life circumstances reducing it significantly and eventually almost stopping altogether i started feeling bad, lethargic, heavy, felt like i didnt breathe fully nor properly... i was still doing music so the company and the creativity part of my habits and needs was satisfied but something was missing, the physicallity of it... and realised that energetic walks in the forest and jogging just bring my old self back... so im actually in the habit, or addicted to, if you will, to having my heart rate go up for a certain amount of time per week... otherwise i feel bad...
it took me a while to realise that, as i didnt do my dance and theatre as exercises at all... i had zero weight to lose, never even owned a scale... nor did i have any health problems... looking at people at gyms looked like a torture, and still does... i was doing the dance and other activities because i truly enjoyed and loved the practices, the company, creativity that go with it... the side effect was the exercise effect... so when i stopped i needed to get my dose of that effect in another way that now looks more like an actual exercise than it did to me before, just because im doing it mostly alone and it is not really creative nor is it an activity that has a performance as part of it...
i think that is why urban ranger type of exercise is a very good idea, it is connected to our life, errands, exploration of our environment... it is kind of organic... and in the meantime while doing it we just might get truly hooked on being more physicaly active...

if not intrinsically motivated, drawn, to a certain activity, then we just have to actually make ourselves motivated untill it becomes a habit... for as long as it takes...

LifeisaBlessing · Post by **LifeisaBlessing** » Wed Jun 29, 2016 11:39 am

What keeps me on-habit/on-plan and not going back is results!

Old habits = old results = not happy with my body condition.

New habits = new and positive results = happy with my body condition.

I like the new me, and I intend to keep it (and improve on it) for as long as I can!

noni · Post by **noni** » Wed Jun 29, 2016 1:27 pm

I hear you, Livitup. I've been at NoS for years, sometimes taking a reprieve, unfortunately, then gaining all my weight back. You've got to know yourself. For instance, I cannot stock my favorite candy bars. I've tried this over and over, but I end up eating the multipack in one S-weekend. I would love to have a mod like Lifeisablessing, but I keep failing at it. Hopefully, some day; but if not, Vanilla will be my flavor and it's palatable.

My weekends have finally calmed down, but I could have good green weeks and then...bam!...a full week or two of reds. Instead of dropping it all and giving up like before, I realize this is me, just continue on, because there is no other diet program I could sustain.

In the exercise dept., I have done multiple types. I know I hate cardio. I like stretching, and for my age (60), this is important to me, because when I stopped, I shrunk a little. At 5'2" this is criminal...lol.

Perhaps, you can do the 14 minutes of shovelglove. I'm going to get back to it, while watching something on TV to make it more enjoyable.

I could be doing any of these exercises for months, even years, as well, and any little thing will throw me off of exercise for a long while: holidays, kids home from school, etc...but eventually, I'll be back and I bet so will you.

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Thu Jun 30, 2016 1:57 am

Somewhere in the No-S book, Reinhard talks about not letting one or at most two red days turn into a new bad habit (kind of like the WTH effect, only happening over days/weeks rather than within one day). That's been a key thought for me. I think that there are times when habits still require decisions and consciousness.

There is very little within walking distance for me. If I'm going to Urban Ranger (without the Urban part!), then I have to actually plan a walk and go do it--it can be part of my routine, but it's not really a practical part of my life (I'm not walking to the store or my job etc...) So...I find it still takes a decision and inertia, even when I establish a regular time (interrupted by seasons and other differences). Sometimes I replace a walk with extra work around the house (weeding, deep cleaning...)--still a decision.

I think No-S is like this to some extent. When I'm at home, it's pretty easy to stay on-diet. There aren't many pitfalls here to sidetrack me, and there is routine and it's set. But when I'm out and about, there are--and I still have to decide to keep following it. It's almost second-nature, but not quite. I think it's pretty natural to see a food offering (at someone's home, at an event, while you drive...) and think, "That sounds good, oh wait, today's an N day..." Will the first reaction ever completely go away? I'm not sure--to me it seems pretty natural for it to be there.

I can plan ahead of time for some things--"tonight's a party, but I'm going to keep my N day, so here's my strategy..."

Other things maybe not--I was helping a friend the other day and she offered a taste of the world's most amazing oatmeal cookie dough (you HAVE to try this!). She offered, and I calculated--"cookie dough, I love cookie dough, not worth breaking an N day..."

Now, I did feel it was easier to say no and stay on habit than to evaluate whether I really wanted a red day or whether one taste would really mess up my overall progress--so maybe in that way, habit ruled. But there was still an initial reaction to food.

I used to emotionally eat a lot too, and there are times when that kicks in and I just want something sweet or whatever. And then--I have to respond with a decision. It doesn't "feel natural" to "not feed" a depressed feeling. It doesn't feel natural to delay--"You know, self, I'm going to have something good this weekend. Just think how good xyz treat is going to taste--and I know I'll enjoy it more after a good week. Even though I "feel" like making this a red day, I know that later I won't really be glad if I do..."

I think it was in that context that Reinhard was talking about not continuing to wallow if you do have a red day or two--you do have to decide to return. Don't let one or even a few red days become the new habit.

For me, I think prayer is key. I do pray that I can lose weight (it was in praying that I remembered about No-S and came back here!), that I can be healthier, that I can establish good habits and not be a slave to food or a glutton.

And I think...be gracious towards yourself. If you've messed up, even messed up a lot--don't look back and beat yourself up for that. Look at one day at a time--can you do this today? And let habits build back up slowly.

liveitup · Post by **liveitup** » Thu Jun 30, 2016 2:49 am

So happy/inspired reading these responses. Thanks all for sharing your experiences and advice! I will be taking this to heart. Much appreciated!

Jen1974 · Post by **Jen1974** » Thu Jun 30, 2016 4:01 am

I work out 6 days a week. I turned it into a habit & know that no matter how much I don't feel like working out, I will anyway. This morning I SO SO wanted to stay in bed. My first mile was awful & I wished the whole time I could just take this ONE DAY off.

It didn't happen overnight. Lots of times of having to be very strict with myself to become a person who has a habit of working out. And always what I WANT is what is the easier option, I want more food, I want dessert, I want to sleep in, I want to sit on the couch & ignor the pile of laundry. That never changes, but my making the right choices I make my life better & eventually it's easier (Not EASY) to do what is best for myself instead of what I want to do in a bad moment.

RAWCOOKIE · Post by **RAWCOOKIE** » Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:32 am

I think that decision is a big part of maintaining an on-going habit. The habit itself helps us keep doing it - but there has to be a decision to keep doing it too.

I also feel that we are not able to really perceive consciously how strong our decision is. For example, when I was 18 I decided to be vegetarian - and I've never changed that decision. About 3 years' ago I decided to be raw vegan, and I kept that going for a year before I slipped out of the habit. So - I think, at some level, our minds work in ways we don't realise - and the more simple, beneficial and logical the habit seems to us, the more likely we are to keep deciding to stick with it.

I find that with exercise I go through phases of interest - I might run three times a week, then find I'm not running any more. I might do yoga for a while, then find I'm more inclined to go out for a long walk. Like someone else said, I think as long as I'm doing something exercise wise, then I think my body will give me the cues.

So - for me, the No S system really 'fits' easily in my brain - there's no difficulty for me to think that way. If you're trying to do something that you have to tweak to fit, there's more chance of you drifting away I think, but that's probably right for you.

liveitup · Post by **liveitup** » Sat Jul 02, 2016 3:41 am

I have to say it does help to resolve to do something before I do it. Tonight I logged into HabitCal (*just* started using it) before I went to dinner and I logged a green day because, well, so far so good. We went to a Mexican restaurant tonight, so we got chips and salsa, tortillas and butter (who still serves butter with steamed corn tortillas? This delicious place!), but I still stuck to my one reasonably sized plate (got the small version) because I logged today as green right before and resolved to stay on target tonight. So that felt great!

I think that Merry's reminder is resounding with me today. Don't let two red days turn into a bad habit. Remember what it's like to have a green day, or a green 5-day week, and remember to let off steam. It really is so easy to revert back to an old habit, but it's also easy with a little bit of encouragement to jump back on the wagon. I just hope I can keep it up, and accept that mistakes are natural and will happen over and over again, and that is OK.

...and coupled with No-S really not being that hard to begin with compared to everything else out there, it does make this all a bit easier.

Thanks to you all providing support in this forum!

Merry · Post by **Merry** » Sun Jul 03, 2016 3:51 am

liveitup wrote:I have to say it does help to resolve to do something before I do it.

Yes! Good observation

SpiritSong · Post by **SpiritSong** » Sun Jul 03, 2016 11:00 am

What a coincidence, just read this article today:

http://zenhabits.net/relapse/

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Mon Jul 04, 2016 2:22 am

Guess what? You're human. Some habits take much longer than others, and some may always take effort for some, probably most, people. Especailly when modern life has changed the amount of moving and standing most of us need to do. All of the Blue Zones except one exist in rather hilly areas and the none of the cultures lead lives where a person goes to an office or factory to work all day. It's part of the culture to get out of the house, garden, climb hilly paths to visit, etc. We have to be more purposeful.

I was quite consistent for about 4 days a week with 14 minutes a day for a few months. I did feel better but I skipped a few days and it all went to heck. Unfortunately, I don't feel terrible NOT doing it. I can still dance decently in dance class, and can walk for several miles at will. So I get lulled.

I hope this doesn't discourage you. I don't have the complete answer but I know chastising ourselves isn't very effective, or at least not until we get sick of doing it to ourselves. OR find good ways to reward ourselves (besides the inherent benefit) for doing things. Habitcal is a mild form of that. I have an online friend who had good results just from using cute icons to show she had completed a targeted activity 4 days a week. Or she popped bubble wrap or lit a scented candle. These were small, but symbolic. She works out as consistently as anyone I know, has for years and has pretty much conquered bingeing and even some purging, with declarations and free or almost free rewards. And she still records these things years into it, simple and fast.

liveitup · Post by **liveitup** » Mon Jul 04, 2016 3:53 am

Yes, I like that oolala. Those small rewards do seem to help, and I'm looking forward to Tuesday (4th is an S day for me) to keep up with tracking progress.

SpiritSong, thanks for the link. Very appropriate! Reading after this.

Merry, hah! Such a funny, I mean obvious, sounding revelation I had.

I think I was trying to say to consciously, physically, and deliberately acknowledge that I will succeed today was helpful. Doing that right before a potentially multi course and giant dinner seemed to give me an extra motivation boost I needed to keep the day green. That is, as opposed to logging the day after reflecting on what I ate.

oolala53 · Post by **oolala53** » Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:47 am

I tell myself: Be firm/strict before you slip and gentle/forgiving/dispassionate afterwards. In the end, it's easier not to have the food than it is to either have or try not to have the mental shenanigans afterwards. It's almost never a free lunch.