I am back again after a whole load of rough times and weight gain. I am virtually starting over in the weight loss department. I am not making excuses for the last couple of weeks but I am asking myself this time what my goal is and what I am willing to do to achieve it. There is a difference between understanding intellectually what is good, healthy, and in my best interests and what I am actually willing to do in reality to achieve it. I have known most of my adult life what to do to lose weight and have learned about many ways to do it. BUT, I have never really committed to any of these diets until I owned the concepts of the eating plan. The people here who have been successful, (currently, not me by the way) all seem to have internalized the rules to the point they aren't rules anymore.
I need to face the fact that for the last couple of weeks, I looked every bag of Cheetos, candy bar, cookie, second helping etc. etc. etc.in the eye and said "I want you so much, I am willing to give up everything else I am striving for to have you for 5 minutes." That means essentially that I view these decisions as being between something I need but don't want (healthy weight loss) and something I want but don't need (every high fat, high calorie food known to man). I have a friend who lost a lot of weight on South Beach and has managed to keep it off for a couple of years now. She drove me crazy for a while because everything that was off limits, she called evil. Carrots were evil, sugar was evil, white bread was evil. We talked about it once and I asked her if she really thought all of those things were "evil". And she said "of course not. I loved them once but they were destroying me and I decided that they were not my friends and that I had to give them up so I worked on changing my attitude toward them. They were bad influences in my life and they were standing in the way of everything I want for myself." What actually happened here was a shift in perception. I still see all the foods I crave as desirable and almost irresistably wonderful and that is why I think I am not making progress. I don't feel that irresistable pull toward fruit or oatmeal or vegetables no matter how attractively packaged. I feel pull to "forbidden" foods. For a lot of us here with a lot more than 20 pounds to lose, this is the real problem. It is my attitude toward some foods that is keeping me from success. I tell myself to hang in there until I can have them again (in moderation, of course, LOL) and then when I have sated myself on them again, I take a deep breath and move on through the desert of N days and boring foods that I HAVE to eat if I am ever going to be healthy and look good. It is what I am telling myself about these foods that is making them either attractive or dull. If changing my life is really my goal, my attitude toward these foods has got to change. They are not my friends. They lure me with Madison Avenue, crunch, grease and fun cartoon characters and I fall for it every time. They are as addictive and bad for me as cigarettes and drugs and I need to see them that way or they will continue to destroy my life. There. That said, I am starting over and this time there will be N days that are my real friends and my real life and S days that I will use to practice what I learned on N days and to test what my goals really are. Wish me luck, guys and thanks, as always for listening.
What am I willing to do to change my life?
Moderators: Soprano, automatedeating
What am I willing to do to change my life?
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
pangelsue, it sounds like you've come to some very important realizations.
There's a wonderfully cheesy old movie called "Labyrinth" in which the heroine says to the Goblin King (near the end) "You have no power over me." in a tone of surprise and wonderment. The minute she recognizes it, her words are true - though minutes before her recognition, she was very much in his power.
And sometimes I think our dealing with foods are much the same way. It has only the power we give it. Recognizing "you have no power over me" breaks the spell.
Best wishes recognizing the limits of food's power.
There's a wonderfully cheesy old movie called "Labyrinth" in which the heroine says to the Goblin King (near the end) "You have no power over me." in a tone of surprise and wonderment. The minute she recognizes it, her words are true - though minutes before her recognition, she was very much in his power.
And sometimes I think our dealing with foods are much the same way. It has only the power we give it. Recognizing "you have no power over me" breaks the spell.
Best wishes recognizing the limits of food's power.
Hi Pangelsue,
I totally agree with you. Big changes sure can be hard! It stinks to realize that sometimes you do have to make some sacrifices for what you want. I guess in life you can't get something worthwhile without a lot of time, effort, or money. At least that is what I have found.
A comment about how you said vegetables and fruits will never attract you....Well, I've heard this from some of my friends. They often came from families where vegetables were never served, or where they were mutilated; they were boiled to mush, or unseasoned, or from cans, etc. etc. Salads consisted of bland iceberg lettuce with yucky dressings. I'm a big lover of veggies but if I had to eat them the way a lot of my friends did when they grew up, I think I would hate them. I was lucky to grow up in an interracial family (an Asian mom, and Asian people definitely know how to cook their vegetables) with a vegetable garden.
My point is that vegetables and fruits don't have to be disgusting things that you have to force down. Are you into cooking at all? Veggies (and fruits too) can be really awesome if they are cooked properly with some good spices and a touch of oil or butter. One of my favorites is broiled asparagus, brushed with a mixture of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, tarragon, crushed garlic, salt and pepper. That sure beats boiled, limp, insipid asparagus! There's a lot of good cookbooks at libraries, or if you bug me enough I'll post some recipes.
Another thing I've discovered is that vegetables can really complement other foods--try mixing your veggies with higher-calorie stuff and you might be surprised. The crunch of good lettuces and the zing of tomatoes can really marry quite well with some marinated grilled chicken, maybe an olive oil and lemon dressing, and a bit of feta. One of my favorite combinations is a good salad and a slice or two of pizza. With fruits, I've found that a combination of the fruit with a touch of something higher-fat or sugar (e.g. chocolate sauce on strawberries) can be tasty too. If you happen to live near any farmer's markets, check them out. Right now where I am it is apple season and the local apples are divine, way better than the apples in the supermarket.
If you've tried all of this already, feel free to dis me, but I've seen friends of mine turn around when they experimented a little bit. I remember a friend of mine who declared that he hated vegetables. He stopped by my place once after I'd whipped up a stir fry, and he ate it with relish! Now he is vegetarian (and he does eat more than peanut butter and jelly).
--H
I totally agree with you. Big changes sure can be hard! It stinks to realize that sometimes you do have to make some sacrifices for what you want. I guess in life you can't get something worthwhile without a lot of time, effort, or money. At least that is what I have found.
A comment about how you said vegetables and fruits will never attract you....Well, I've heard this from some of my friends. They often came from families where vegetables were never served, or where they were mutilated; they were boiled to mush, or unseasoned, or from cans, etc. etc. Salads consisted of bland iceberg lettuce with yucky dressings. I'm a big lover of veggies but if I had to eat them the way a lot of my friends did when they grew up, I think I would hate them. I was lucky to grow up in an interracial family (an Asian mom, and Asian people definitely know how to cook their vegetables) with a vegetable garden.
My point is that vegetables and fruits don't have to be disgusting things that you have to force down. Are you into cooking at all? Veggies (and fruits too) can be really awesome if they are cooked properly with some good spices and a touch of oil or butter. One of my favorites is broiled asparagus, brushed with a mixture of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, tarragon, crushed garlic, salt and pepper. That sure beats boiled, limp, insipid asparagus! There's a lot of good cookbooks at libraries, or if you bug me enough I'll post some recipes.
Another thing I've discovered is that vegetables can really complement other foods--try mixing your veggies with higher-calorie stuff and you might be surprised. The crunch of good lettuces and the zing of tomatoes can really marry quite well with some marinated grilled chicken, maybe an olive oil and lemon dressing, and a bit of feta. One of my favorite combinations is a good salad and a slice or two of pizza. With fruits, I've found that a combination of the fruit with a touch of something higher-fat or sugar (e.g. chocolate sauce on strawberries) can be tasty too. If you happen to live near any farmer's markets, check them out. Right now where I am it is apple season and the local apples are divine, way better than the apples in the supermarket.
If you've tried all of this already, feel free to dis me, but I've seen friends of mine turn around when they experimented a little bit. I remember a friend of mine who declared that he hated vegetables. He stopped by my place once after I'd whipped up a stir fry, and he ate it with relish! Now he is vegetarian (and he does eat more than peanut butter and jelly).
--H
Thanks so much for the advise everyone. Good thoughts. Regarding fruits and vegetable, there may be a little misunderstanding of what I was trying to say. I cook a lot and actually worked as a caterer for quite a number of years. We eat almost exclusively organic and rarely have the same thing twice but what never ceases to amaze me is that for all the good delicious food we eat and however yummy I make it, S days come and I want junk food and lots of it. Not because it tastes so wonderful but just because I know I shouldn't have it. My mental chatter to date has been but it is soooo good and I want it soooo bad. And I keep that up the whole weekend. I am sabataging myself with my attitude toward the power of junk food. So, even though I love vegetables and fruits and grains and beans I still have all the "forbidden" foods on a pedestal they don't deserve. I am Eve in the Garden wanting that special apple, the one I'm not supposed to have. So my epiphany is actually that the only power these foods have over me is the power I give them. Like KCCC said, I want to reach the point where I can honestly say to the foods I know trip me up "you no longer have power over me" and that is the goal I am now working toward.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
Having forbidden foods really can drive you crazy! I totally hear you about the denial issue. When I did Atkins for six months, I craved carbs so much that I would binge on high fiber cereal. Not the most normal sinful food, but hey, it had carbs, it had crunch, and it was there. I'd snarf down two big bowls and then I would start crying because I was so angry at having "sinned." It took me probably six months after quitting Atkins to get over that, and I had to just re-introduce carbs and accept that I was going to binge on them sometimes. I had to just keep telling myself that I could have some more later, which didn't always work but sometimes did. With time, I finally realized that I could eat carbs whenever I wanted and I stopped going crazy over them. Maybe if you have some long-standing engrained attitudes about junk food and denial, you might have to be gentle with yourself. It takes work to get rid of these habits, and you won't be able to change them overnight.
Now I only overeat when I'm lonely or tired (which, given my recent move and job change, has been happening more frequently...I think I'm re-equilibrating, though), and I'll eat a bit of everything--I don't freak out on "forbidden" carbs. At least I haven't cried over eating for a long time now.
-H
Now I only overeat when I'm lonely or tired (which, given my recent move and job change, has been happening more frequently...I think I'm re-equilibrating, though), and I'll eat a bit of everything--I don't freak out on "forbidden" carbs. At least I haven't cried over eating for a long time now.
-H
Another thing to consider is that for most of us it takes time for a forbidden food not to be appealing and for a healthy food's appeal to increase. It doesn't happen overnight -- or even over a short period of time. But the less frequently you have the forbidden foods and the more often you have the healthy foods, over time, the change happens.
Last weekend I had some of a food that I normally consider a treat. Something I really like but don't have very often. I was shocked to realize that it no longer tasted good or seemed like a treat to me. Now, this has taken several YEARS to happen.
By the way, I like Cheetos, too. It always amazes me because I know there's not a good thing about them. The first clue is the orange stain on my fingers! But every now and again I'll have them and usually 2-3 times over a very short period of time. Then they seem to lose their appeal for quite a while. So, I just don't worry about it anymore.
Another thing I've noticed is that over time, not only does the appeal of the forbidden, evil foods diminish, they make me feel bad -- something I hadn't noticed when I was eating them more regularly. So, now it's easier to avoid them because I don't want to feel bad. I suspect a lot of us feel icky pretty routinely, but don't realize that it's from the evil foods we eat -- we just think it's the way it is. For me it seems to be dose-related. That is a bite or two or a small serving doesn't bother me, but two servings does.
A couple of things that help me avoid the siren call of the evil foods are 1) not to have them available to me and 2) to remember that Madison Ave is just trying to sell stuff and they really don't care how I feel or look. They really don't care about anything except lining their pockets.
One last thing I do is try not to buy anything that is "ready to eat." I buy ingredients, not food that I can just pop into my mouth. It's amazing how much more I'll think about a treat if I have to make it rather than just eat it.
Changing habits takes time, and unfortunately probably MUCH longer than the 3 weeks we think it does. That's just the beginning.
Last weekend I had some of a food that I normally consider a treat. Something I really like but don't have very often. I was shocked to realize that it no longer tasted good or seemed like a treat to me. Now, this has taken several YEARS to happen.
By the way, I like Cheetos, too. It always amazes me because I know there's not a good thing about them. The first clue is the orange stain on my fingers! But every now and again I'll have them and usually 2-3 times over a very short period of time. Then they seem to lose their appeal for quite a while. So, I just don't worry about it anymore.
Another thing I've noticed is that over time, not only does the appeal of the forbidden, evil foods diminish, they make me feel bad -- something I hadn't noticed when I was eating them more regularly. So, now it's easier to avoid them because I don't want to feel bad. I suspect a lot of us feel icky pretty routinely, but don't realize that it's from the evil foods we eat -- we just think it's the way it is. For me it seems to be dose-related. That is a bite or two or a small serving doesn't bother me, but two servings does.
A couple of things that help me avoid the siren call of the evil foods are 1) not to have them available to me and 2) to remember that Madison Ave is just trying to sell stuff and they really don't care how I feel or look. They really don't care about anything except lining their pockets.
One last thing I do is try not to buy anything that is "ready to eat." I buy ingredients, not food that I can just pop into my mouth. It's amazing how much more I'll think about a treat if I have to make it rather than just eat it.
Changing habits takes time, and unfortunately probably MUCH longer than the 3 weeks we think it does. That's just the beginning.
Thanks Hexagon and Wosnes. Wonderful thoughts. I know what you mean about "treats" making us feel icky. When I overindulge on weekends, I feel lousy. I have heartburn and have trouble sleeping. I also feel heavy and sluggish. One would think that would be enough reason to eliminate them. I know I just have to be patient because I am working through a lot of years of self loathing, disappointment and self sabatage. I agree with Wosnes that the first 21 days are just the beginning. That is a little disappointing but also encouraging because it means the process is more cerebral and if I stay on plan (which is really simple), the battle is in the brain. I think this is probably the beauty of this plan actually. Instead of spending hours thinking and counting and planning, I am really only given the task to decide to do it or not. The plan is simple, gives me control back, makes it easy to be normal at most social gatherings, makes me successful in dieting finally. There is only one catch. My head need to be on board with it. I know the plan works, it is simple and if I don't follow it, it is probably because I am not ready to be dieting at all. I think for a lot of years I bounced from diet to diet with each one getting more and more difficult and absurd because I really didn't want to be dieting and when I failed I could just tell myself it was the diet not me. This one is easy and right and I am fighting the fact that if I fail at this one and give it up, it is not the diet, it is me. Not a happy thought. So I am not ready to give up. I will go on and win the battle in my head (most of the time) and be successful if the scale shows it or not.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
What I really want to know is why it's so hard for us Americans to "eat sensibly" -- and not so difficult for people in other parts of the world -- Europe, for instance.
Europeans, by and large, eat sensibly on a daily basis, have small treats daily or occasionally and feast when it's time to celebrate. Why is it so hard for us? Is it advertising and the huge variety we have? Is it that food is one of the only pleasures we're allowed? Is it that they're doing something that is based in hundreds of years of tradition? It's not genetics, because if you bring them here, they end up with the same weight and health problems we have -- if they adapt our eating-style. Actually, most of us are descended from them, so...
They don't worry about their diets like we do, but they're generally slimmer and healthier. They enjoy food, they think about it often, they're not afraid of it and they don't demonize various food groups depending on the diet of the day.
Europeans, by and large, eat sensibly on a daily basis, have small treats daily or occasionally and feast when it's time to celebrate. Why is it so hard for us? Is it advertising and the huge variety we have? Is it that food is one of the only pleasures we're allowed? Is it that they're doing something that is based in hundreds of years of tradition? It's not genetics, because if you bring them here, they end up with the same weight and health problems we have -- if they adapt our eating-style. Actually, most of us are descended from them, so...
They don't worry about their diets like we do, but they're generally slimmer and healthier. They enjoy food, they think about it often, they're not afraid of it and they don't demonize various food groups depending on the diet of the day.
I think it's a mix.
First, there's more "normal" daily activity. When dh and I have gone on vacations in Italy or France, we've eaten a lot... but also walked a lot, just getting around. That takes care of it.
Second, they eat what I think of as "real food." Minimally processed stuff. Yes, they use real butter and cream, but there aren't a lot of additives you can't pronounce. (Also, I find European desserts to be simultaneously richer and less sweet - more butter, less sugar.) And I am totally convinced that real food is just better for you than pseudo-food stuff.
Third, they eat with awareness. Your meal may take two hours because they bring it in separate stages, and you savor each one.
And yes, they do eat more reasonable portions. But I do think it's a combination of all the above, with an environment FAR more conducive to all those things.
First, there's more "normal" daily activity. When dh and I have gone on vacations in Italy or France, we've eaten a lot... but also walked a lot, just getting around. That takes care of it.
Second, they eat what I think of as "real food." Minimally processed stuff. Yes, they use real butter and cream, but there aren't a lot of additives you can't pronounce. (Also, I find European desserts to be simultaneously richer and less sweet - more butter, less sugar.) And I am totally convinced that real food is just better for you than pseudo-food stuff.
Third, they eat with awareness. Your meal may take two hours because they bring it in separate stages, and you savor each one.
And yes, they do eat more reasonable portions. But I do think it's a combination of all the above, with an environment FAR more conducive to all those things.
I'd say the European dietary advantage is this: they eat regular meals instead of permasnacking. Not because they're on some diet but because society is still structured around this. There are many other differences, but I think they mostly spring from eating meals. Eating discreet meals makes you take food more seriously, so you avoid processed junk, plus by cutting out most snacks you cut out the most highly processed junk. We don't have this social structure in the states (and they're rapidly losing it in Europe) so we need something like No-s to stand in it's place (which if it really catches on, could become a social structure ).
You shouldn't have that "forbidden foods" feeling on no-s. If you're eating the carpet on weekends and resentfully fantasizing about it all week long, maybe try trading up your S-day rewards. Instead of cheetos, get something fancy. It's hard to eat yourself sick on something that's $20 a pound, and it's hard to go back to the cheap stuff when you're used to this. And my guess is you'll save money big picture by insisting on luxurious S days.
If you hate "healthy food" then give yourself something more palatable for you N day meals. No s gives you a LOT of scope as to what you can eat on N days. You could theoretically have cheetos for dinner if you want. I know it sounds ridiculous, and if you did it regularly it would be, but be a little ridiculous short term if that's what it takes to get you over this resentment.
Your friend's "evil" foods attitude... well, I guess it worked for her so far, but there's a big, big cost to it, and I think it backfires horribly for most people. Frankly, I think you have it now. Cheetos are not evil. You want them so much precisely because you think they are. The relationship is the problem, not the stuff.
Reinhard
).You shouldn't have that "forbidden foods" feeling on no-s. If you're eating the carpet on weekends and resentfully fantasizing about it all week long, maybe try trading up your S-day rewards. Instead of cheetos, get something fancy. It's hard to eat yourself sick on something that's $20 a pound, and it's hard to go back to the cheap stuff when you're used to this. And my guess is you'll save money big picture by insisting on luxurious S days.
If you hate "healthy food" then give yourself something more palatable for you N day meals. No s gives you a LOT of scope as to what you can eat on N days. You could theoretically have cheetos for dinner if you want. I know it sounds ridiculous, and if you did it regularly it would be, but be a little ridiculous short term if that's what it takes to get you over this resentment.
Your friend's "evil" foods attitude... well, I guess it worked for her so far, but there's a big, big cost to it, and I think it backfires horribly for most people. Frankly, I think you have it now. Cheetos are not evil. You want them so much precisely because you think they are. The relationship is the problem, not the stuff.
Reinhard
I read this board several times a week. Sometimes I comment, sometimes not. I struggle every single day. I think I always have. I KNOW the right thing to eat and not to eat. We all do, really. They've been cramming the right thing to eat & do into our heads since we were kids (remember those cartoon commercials in the 70's? They were even telling us back then to eat fruit & veggies, etc and get up & out, not sit down). Its a matter of things like Sue talks about often. The combination of willpower, habit, veggie hating, carb loving, CHEETO loving has just killed me for years. I haven't had a Cheeto in months now. My absolutely fave "chip" or snack if you will. And Icee's. Now, I LOVE cheese and garlic and butter and bread. But I seem to remember in college actually living off cheetos and ramen and kool-aid. So maybe there is more than just taste that brings me back. I have no idea why I have NO PROBLEM avoiding the Cheetos, but can not pass up a chocolate Andes mint or a handful of Maui Onion Garlic Almonds or M&M's...or why I MUST HAVE ice cream every weekend or I start obsessing about having it. It's weird and sometimes on this thing I wonder if I will ever GET IT. Are the cravings or my attitudes ever going to change? Am I going to be a fattie all of my life? Struggling each day to not eat the In N Out animal style Double Double and Fries? I mean, I don't eat fries anymore either...but if an IN N Out french fry presented itself I could never ever resist it. I haven't lost the TASTE for any of this crap, Ive just stopped eating most of it and stopped eating it so often. Is it like alcoholism where Im always gonna want this? Am I so fugged up in the head that I am gonna need therapy to get past all of these food things on my mind? How do I find out if this is true? Do I have an epiphany one day about it or do I slowly stop desiring these foods with no nutritive value, in fact are actually harmful to my body? Does anyone know? Is it different for everyone and therefore no one will ever give me an answer?
Sometimes I'm lost.
So maybe there is more than just taste that brings me back. I have no idea why I have NO PROBLEM avoiding the Cheetos, but can not pass up a chocolate Andes mint or a handful of Maui Onion Garlic Almonds or M&M's...or why I MUST HAVE ice cream every weekend or I start obsessing about having it. It's weird and sometimes on this thing I wonder if I will ever GET IT. Are the cravings or my attitudes ever going to change? Am I going to be a fattie all of my life? Struggling each day to not eat the In N Out animal style Double Double and Fries? I mean, I don't eat fries anymore either...but if an IN N Out french fry presented itself I could never ever resist it. I haven't lost the TASTE for any of this crap, Ive just stopped eating most of it and stopped eating it so often. Is it like alcoholism where Im always gonna want this? Am I so fugged up in the head that I am gonna need therapy to get past all of these food things on my mind? How do I find out if this is true? Do I have an epiphany one day about it or do I slowly stop desiring these foods with no nutritive value, in fact are actually harmful to my body? Does anyone know? Is it different for everyone and therefore no one will ever give me an answer?Sometimes I'm lost.
~I'm still not perfect~
~Sophie~
~Sophie~
I love this post. I have learned a lot from it and I sincerely thank everyone who wrote on it.
I've learned I can have cheetos with lunch or supper sometimes if it is part of lunch or supper. That demystifies them for me a bit. (Gettnbusy, that means if you bought the child's size burger and fries, you don't have to give up your In N out either. In fact, you can have them sometimes on N days.)
I've learned that not having ready to eat snacks around is a way to make snacking less appealing. (If I have to make it, I must admit most of the time I probably would skip it). That means, Gettnbusy, that we have to give up having the M&Ms around (or in my case the peanuts, almonds, cashews and pecans).
I've learned to up the scale of a treat on weekends and save it for after supper to avoid grazing all day long.
I've learned that most of us have spent most of our lives bouncing from diet to diet and failing because the diets were stupid and as a result, we have a really low opinion of our ability to resist certain foods. Because we have failed, we have convinced ourselves these foods are stronger than us. (otherwise, we wouldn't have failed right?). Now someone (Reihard) tells us we can have these foods and still be okay and everything in us that ever resisted a cookie says that can't possibly be true. So we try it. At first it works (because he's right and it really is very straight forward and simple). But something in our heads is saying it won't last because it never has before. And because we really truly believe we can't win over these foods we eventually succumb because of our beliefs, not the power of those foods.
I've learned that the above beliefs can be overcome, but it will take TIME and failure will part of that learning process.
I've also discerned that we need to come up with a new, more positive word for failure. Many of us are way too familiar with that word in connection with dieting. I think I prefer Reinhard's "funny stuff". Any other suggestions that make backsteps sound more like part of the process and less like FAILURE with alarms and whistles going off and embarassment to admit (so we don't post for a while)? I am very tired after years of failure and embarrassment. I want to think I am strong, that I am learning and I am invincible.
I've learned that we can learn from the rest of the world and work on changing our attitudes toward food. 3 times a day, have a wonderful meal in an atmosphere as relaxing as possible . (I eat breakfast while getting ready for work, eat lunch at my desk while trying to read a book and eat supper in front of the television). Hmmmmm, where is the pleasure factor? Maybe get up 15 minutes earlier to have a slower breakfast, skip break and take 45 minutes for lunch so I can eat and then read, and use my DVR to record TV shows and eat supper in my sunroom watching the sunset. This is not rocket science or voodoo, it is just breaking out of ingrained habits and changing how we view pleasure and eating.
Finally, I am learning to start believing all the wonderful people who volunteer their time and wisdom on this board to support each other. Yesterday, I had a caramel already in my mouth and threw it out because I remembered the 3 dear friends who posted on my thread that they believed in me and that they knew I could do it. That worked for me.
I've learned I can have cheetos with lunch or supper sometimes if it is part of lunch or supper. That demystifies them for me a bit. (Gettnbusy, that means if you bought the child's size burger and fries, you don't have to give up your In N out either. In fact, you can have them sometimes on N days.)
I've learned that not having ready to eat snacks around is a way to make snacking less appealing. (If I have to make it, I must admit most of the time I probably would skip it). That means, Gettnbusy, that we have to give up having the M&Ms around (or in my case the peanuts, almonds, cashews and pecans).
I've learned to up the scale of a treat on weekends and save it for after supper to avoid grazing all day long.
I've learned that most of us have spent most of our lives bouncing from diet to diet and failing because the diets were stupid and as a result, we have a really low opinion of our ability to resist certain foods. Because we have failed, we have convinced ourselves these foods are stronger than us. (otherwise, we wouldn't have failed right?). Now someone (Reihard) tells us we can have these foods and still be okay and everything in us that ever resisted a cookie says that can't possibly be true. So we try it. At first it works (because he's right and it really is very straight forward and simple). But something in our heads is saying it won't last because it never has before. And because we really truly believe we can't win over these foods we eventually succumb because of our beliefs, not the power of those foods.
I've learned that the above beliefs can be overcome, but it will take TIME and failure will part of that learning process.
I've also discerned that we need to come up with a new, more positive word for failure. Many of us are way too familiar with that word in connection with dieting. I think I prefer Reinhard's "funny stuff". Any other suggestions that make backsteps sound more like part of the process and less like FAILURE with alarms and whistles going off and embarassment to admit (so we don't post for a while)? I am very tired after years of failure and embarrassment. I want to think I am strong, that I am learning and I am invincible.
I've learned that we can learn from the rest of the world and work on changing our attitudes toward food. 3 times a day, have a wonderful meal in an atmosphere as relaxing as possible . (I eat breakfast while getting ready for work, eat lunch at my desk while trying to read a book and eat supper in front of the television). Hmmmmm, where is the pleasure factor? Maybe get up 15 minutes earlier to have a slower breakfast, skip break and take 45 minutes for lunch so I can eat and then read, and use my DVR to record TV shows and eat supper in my sunroom watching the sunset. This is not rocket science or voodoo, it is just breaking out of ingrained habits and changing how we view pleasure and eating.
Finally, I am learning to start believing all the wonderful people who volunteer their time and wisdom on this board to support each other. Yesterday, I had a caramel already in my mouth and threw it out because I remembered the 3 dear friends who posted on my thread that they believed in me and that they knew I could do it. That worked for me.
A lot of growing up happens between "it fell" and "I dropped it."
Speaking of eating while doing something else...
I think one of the reasons we tend to overeat or eat too many snack foods is that we don't pay attention to what we're doing when we eat. We don't stop and savor the food. You know, I can easily eat half a dozen cookies if I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing because I really haven't gotten any pleasure from eating them. But if I stop and pay attention to eating the cookies, one or maybe two will do it.
Pretty much the same thing occurs with meals, too. If I pay attention to the food, -- the taste, the texture and how good it is, less usually takes care of my appetite. When I'm just shoveling it in, it takes more.
In our multi-tasking world, this takes some effort. But I'm pretty much against multi-tasking anyway, especially if the tasks require attention. It's one thing to have something simmering on the stove or laundry in the washer/dryer and doing something else. It's completely another to try and pay attention to multiple tasks that require attention or a task that requires attention and a person who requires attention.
I think one of the reasons we tend to overeat or eat too many snack foods is that we don't pay attention to what we're doing when we eat. We don't stop and savor the food. You know, I can easily eat half a dozen cookies if I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing because I really haven't gotten any pleasure from eating them. But if I stop and pay attention to eating the cookies, one or maybe two will do it.
Pretty much the same thing occurs with meals, too. If I pay attention to the food, -- the taste, the texture and how good it is, less usually takes care of my appetite. When I'm just shoveling it in, it takes more.
In our multi-tasking world, this takes some effort. But I'm pretty much against multi-tasking anyway, especially if the tasks require attention. It's one thing to have something simmering on the stove or laundry in the washer/dryer and doing something else. It's completely another to try and pay attention to multiple tasks that require attention or a task that requires attention and a person who requires attention.