about motivation and basic strategy

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oolala53
Posts: 9987
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

about motivation and basic strategy

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jun 30, 2022 4:00 am

In the coaching program I just got a certification from, which is geared for people who consider themselves binge or compulsive overeaters, though not diagnosed with any disorder, they have been doing in-house research for a few years and found something I think I could have predicted about the top successful motivations that got people to give up the compulsive overeating. The top two were 1) to get off the diet/then binge roller coaster permanently (for me it was binge because in all my 40 years of trying, I think I may have spent one full year in all that time actually sticking to a diet) and 2) a present or imminent health concern. The one that led to the MOST failure in the long run was shame about the body or eating. I really think I could have told them that. I think it's one of the reasons so many younger women have so little success in the long run. They aren't truly motivated by health, even though they try to tell themselves they are-it's so hard to imagine the problems they are creating for themselves in the future- and they are so caught up with looking good to get the approval of strangers, female and male, because they haven't understood what how hollow in the end that reward is, even though it's constantly sold in the culture as if it's so gratifying. It's actually rather human, but is a misguided remnant from caveman days when mating and procreation were the focus.

So the take away is do your best to MAGNIFY how much you hate feeling compelled to overeat and MINIMIZE how important it is to lose weight fast or even slow. MAGNIFY any little health benefit you an legitimately claim to deem important and MINIMIZE any sense of deep shame.

Lastly, from Brain Over Binge. Do two things. 1) Feed yourself good food at reasonable intervals and in sufficient amounts that you can convince yourself that there is NO good reason to overeat so you will just plain never give in to an urge to break your plan or to a craving for foods that lead to binges or to restrict. Saying no to urges is what eventually buries the wiring, but you may have to go through some extinction bursts.

Our program has found that people have to have between 7 and 30 experiences- best if consecutive- of not giving in to active, strong urges in order to quell the urge circuit. The times things are easy don't count! So if you are having an easy time and suddenly things feel hard, that is the perfect time to hold tight and ride the waves! Check each one off and know that you are closer to having moderate eating become your routine.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 68
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

Soprano
Posts: 1087
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2018 8:56 pm
Location: UK

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by Soprano » Thu Jun 30, 2022 6:37 am

Wise words, thanks for posting.

Jx
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

oolala53
Posts: 9987
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by oolala53 » Thu Jun 30, 2022 11:02 pm

Thanks, Soprano. I would so like to help others spare themselves more UNPRODUCTIVE suffering.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 68
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

ladybird30
Posts: 898
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 10:41 pm

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by ladybird30 » Fri Jul 01, 2022 12:19 am

Congrats on getting your certification as well as giving me something more to think about.
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

Amy3010
Posts: 1120
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:48 am
Location: Belgium

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by Amy3010 » Fri Jul 01, 2022 6:18 am

Congratulations! :mrgreen: Those insights about what motivates people to make real change are fascinating - maybe shame doesn't ultimately work because bingeing is one of the things that is used to numb those feelings?

ladybird30
Posts: 898
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 10:41 pm

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by ladybird30 » Sat Jul 02, 2022 7:53 pm

As in shame makes you feel bad and then you eat to feel better? Makes sense
Three meals a day - not too little not too much, but just right

oolala53
Posts: 9987
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2008 1:46 am
Location: San Diego, CA USA

Re: about motivation and basic strategy

Post by oolala53 » Sun Jul 17, 2022 11:03 pm

My guess about shame not working is because down deep we suspect that overeating is not actually the terrible crime it's made out to be, and the expectations to meet a cultural ideal of beauty isn't ultimately satisfying nor representative of our true value. I know gluttony is considered one of the seven deadly sins but I wonder if it applied more when it might be looked at as taking resources from the community. Oh, also because shame may be a way of atoning for the perceived sin; when we think we have done our penance for sinning, we can sin again. I'm probably grasping at straws here.
Count plates, not calories. 11 years "during"
Age 68
BMI Jan/10-30.8
1/12-26.8 3/13-24.9 +/- 8-lb. 3 yrs
9/17 22.8 (more flux) 3/18 22.2
2 yrs flux 6/20 22
1/21-23

There is no S better than Vanilla No S (mods now as a senior citizen)

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